Can we all just agree that these boys are hella traumatized?

Re-draw of THIS

Halloween is getting closer! 🎃

anyone else remember that one (1) wip phantom arcade showed of a pre-week 7 pico comic, because i do

if you were to tell me a week ago that i would be making trolls fanart in the near future i would not believe you

i drew these all in pencil then colored with the magical ibis paint x app because i was not about to use markers

e boy

mid-apocalypse movie night

girls will buy 9272726 lip glosses each time they go shopping. as a treat

Will my suffering never cease

- went to good Friday evening service even tho it's not a day of obligation, didn't go yesterday evening to Maundy Thursday for a variety of reasons

- priest manages to fit homophobia and transphobia into his sermon. Not even gay marriage. Just unions, that let ppl share taxes and have hospital visiting rights. And big bad scary surgery. Like. Completely unrelated to the matter at hand. Says SO LITTLE abt the Passion, managed to talk for 10 minutes without really saying ANYTHING. Takes Pilate's 'what is truth' and instead of engaging in the long philosophical and theological discussion around that question, decides to use it as a rallying cry against wokeism and a godless progressive society.

- my two ex best friends were there. Ran into them. + One's husband, who I introduced her to a decade ago. Like I'm mostly over that, no longer shitty and resentful, fully know that it was partially my fault and born from my own terribleness at 19 and undiagnosed untreated mental illness. Still uhhh hurts tho??? As a reminder?

- music bad. Ok I'm petty. I'll give the trads (1) point. I don't like guitar mass. I will NOT agree with the trads in assigning moral weight to my aesthetic preference. It's simply a preference, which does not make any musical form inherently superior to the others. But the triduum really lends itself to Latin hymns and chants, in my heart. My other fave church music is traditional Black spirituals. I would greatly prefer either. But just. If it sounds like an acoustic version of a pop love song. I just. I can't. I KNOW I'm the weird about Jesus romantically girlie. But I am not vibin with this folks

Literally would have simply Walked Out. Hit da bricks during the homily. But was with my family so 1) cannot out myself 2) did not have house keys on me, so I was suck regardless

Anyway I said I wasn't going to do fun things today but I'm so upset and cranky and I did chores all day, I am going to catch up on dungeon meshi. Marcille is my best favourite cringefail girl I'm obsessed with her and surely the wlw neurotic fussy mage who loves her friends will not betray me like this

actually having a massive dilemma bc of eurovision this year and its both ethical and personal. basically last year i went "ava you need a hobby" and i was like "goud is my hobby" and then i was like "something else ava" and so as my new years resolution was to get back involved in my drama society at uni. i miss performing so much. they had auditions for their first spot but i literally couldnt audition as there was no role for me and also i was in my hometown that weekend of auditions and had a concert the other night.

anyways they announced auditions for the open spot (which realistically funnily enough is where i'd pitch goud if i were to pitch goud but sometimes i feel i'll never be confident enough in myself to do that bc it is a very personal work to me at its core. also i'd need a co-director and i almost dont trust someone else with directing these characters) and i flipped through the thingy and what do you know? i can make auditions and there is a role for me. unfortunately i looked at the show dates and it happens to be a certain week in may.

with talk on the town of boycotting eurovision because of israel (which i do not support israel being there i always found it odd bc they arent europe and thats big words coming from an australian) and the ebu flipping around until the song deadline on whether or not to ban them, i have found myself less enthusiastic about this year compared to others. i was talking to someone about how israel (or the not finnish blue and white flagged place) basically is the elephant in the room hindering this, but even so, i only have a handful of entries i really put on repeat (netherlands, croatia, finland) from this year. so the whole situation is affecting my excitement for the event, and you'd think this would make it easier but its not. bc it still is my favourite event of the year and while i can participate in everything to do with the season, to do this and then not watch the finale is a waste to me. so now im at a dilemma with what to even do bc i'd love to be on stage again but it comes at a cost, and i'd love to watch eurovision but it also comes at the cost of a certain not finnish blue and white place being there.

so like, i made a list but this is somehow worse. bc like, i feel like i dont win either way.

watching it

i won't feel depressed bc eurovision is important to me and boycotting it will probs mean sacrificing a huge part of my mental health

i already have watching plans with someone

people in my life know me as the eurovision girl and will ask me about it / i hate being vocal like this (i think its bc people wont take me seriously and i struggle to articulate thoughts regardless especially in situations like that)

joost klein / i already know half the songs anyways

i will feel shit because of israel being there (i have already boycotted KAN and the entrant and their song regardless of what happens)

boycott

i'll probably still feel depressed bc its my favourite event of the year

if i dont watch it i can audition for the play and performing makes me happy just as much as eurovision/ i havent performed since pre amsterdam

can always watch later, however not the same and may get spoiled

anyways

thanks.

Tfw ur house doesnt have heating so u have to dress up in ur renfest chemise & dress & cloak bc its the warmest thing u have

Feeling spooooky today! Also, check out this amazing Halloween print I got from Stablercake on Etsy! Its seriously so cool! These pictures really dont do it justice

Clicky click here to check it out!

autism is insane the way i desire socialization intrinsically but have no desire or natural intuition to seek it out. insane that i have to live like this forever

kicks rock.

NOW! I ain't too much of a horoscoper, but I gotta say, these relationship turn ons and offs for my sign are REALLY spot on....

I am a SLUT for sunsets and deep convos, and I HATE HATE HATE cold behaviours and having to shoulder lack of care towards emotions. SDKGNSDHKN I'm a true crab cowboy uwu

Why is writing cover letters like pulling teeth. I DONT LIKE having interviews and conversations with strangers but in this case I actually find it easier to talk myself up / talk about my abilities and experience in person, not limited to a single page of job-speak language that is ultimately meaningless

not me lying wide awake at 5:30am on a sunday on my day off bc after almost a full year I finally FINALLY realized the implication of the end of remember them from the cyclops saga

i am so normal about things i enjoy (there is a 2k asheiji science olympiad au sitting in my google docs, patiently waiting for me to get back in the science olympiad grind so i'll remember to edit and post it)