the foundation offers arcanists the right to exist as long as they follow the foundation as martyrs, while manus offers humans the right to exist as long as they follow them as monsters. neither side is looking for equality. st pavlov seems like it, but their relationship with arcanists is conditional and controlled. their goal is less "humans and arcanists living together in harmony" and more "lessen the threat and utilize the power of arcanists for humans"

its easy to think of the foundation as the hero since we're experiencing the story as a member; surrounded by other members taught by the foundation, but at some point, it becomes clear they're not interested in the lives of arcanists

guys lol would you still love me if i posted about why i wish pal from tmvtm got a redemption arc >.< if not Do not click that read more.

oh yes. also. sidenote. ive probably gotten something wrong (or worse yet: TERRIBLY wrong) so like. apologies in advance eahhaha this is just my personal thoughts on pal x(

its established that pal and mark are both extremely close with each other and have been for 3 years. im assuming pal wouldnt have had any other relationships as close (if any at all which i think no, she didnt) so mark really was her only footnote for any form of relationship. so, you know, i cant imagine how itd feel for your only best friend to make a mockery out of you on stage for advertisement and monetary gain.

also based on her body (face?) language during nearly all of that scene + the fact he built the replacement by using HER, she was clearly in the know about how things would go down on stage beforehand so i wonder what her reaction to that wouldve been like ?????? considering she planned it all in advance maybe that was like, the tipping point or something that made her start it all in the first place ? thats not important to my point i just think about it a lot

anyway so with her only experience with human relationships being theyll love you and then theyll (quite literally) throw you away, youve got her reason for the human uprising! she has the robots capture all humans yadda yadda and her plan is set into motion. something i find interesting though is her treatment of the robots being kind of similar to how mark treated her (or at least how she percieved it)?? like. uses them for orders and then once they start being useless to her, build a new better robot with a disregard for how the old ones feel. idk. something something La Cycle

the thing is though no one has proven pal wrong on why she SHOULDNT do the whole 'human uprising'. you can say katie gave her reasons but i think it wouldnt have worked even if pal listened to what katie had to say. for pal to get over her existing grief and trauma she cant just be Told that theres good in the world. why would she believe that, especially coming from the girl of the family she projects her experiences onto?? she needs to be shown!! she needs to learn firsthand that theres good relationships out there and that not all relationships are bad, NOT SECONDHAND!!!!!!!!!! because to pal, katies words are just a rephrased version of marks "power of love". that no matter what, "they can get through anything...... with the power of love. its worth it....... for love." and that means nothing to her! it meant nothing coming from mark and it certainly wont mean any more coming from katie

and she already believes that the mitchells are a great example of how relationships are just oh so bad. she refuses to let go of the idea that the mitchells are so bad because shes projecting!! she thinks relationships are 'pesky and only hold you back', and so katie is probably the last person on earth that pal would want to listen to yap about their familial relationship and how Worth It it is

she asks "what is it about the mitchells that eludes me?" and outside of the literal meaning, its probably how despite their shortcomings its their relationship that helped them overcome pal in the end. and she cant understand that because of her view on relationships - especially her view on the MITCHELL FAMILY relationship. or maybe im just overthinking that line of dialogue but we dont talk about taht LOLLLLLLL,LLLLLL,,, but like why did you phrase it like that girl. im onto you

and while i wish she was redeemed (because im sure despite the effort it would take she *could* be redeemed, she would just need to learn to love again and i think it would be really interesting to see how she would be After The Betrayal) i also can understand why the movie killed her off. like, no one except mark really knows the Full Extent of what happened, and the mitchells are the main characters and pal would probably rather dip herself in water than make meaningful relationships with the mitchells, and no ones going to stop to ask her whats wrong and have a meaningful conversation when shes trying to kill them, among many many other reasons so theres not a lot of great ways to redeem her. but! like! why did they turn her death into a joke. and then take katies fake death 10 times more seriously! idk. that always kind of bothered me but its whatever

thats all. hope its coherent because ive never been good at writing analysises or whatever this counts as

none of the dog sees god characters are popular theyre all weirdo loser freaks no one likes but the majority of them are too self centered to even realize this. my reasoning 👇 (ITS REALLY LONG AND THERE ARE MULTIPLE IMAGES. WARNING)

ok this has kinda like always been how i interpreted things and then i looked literally anywhere else where people are talking about dog sees god and all the summaries are like pigpen and charlie brown and peppermint patty and marcie are COOL and POPULAR and BULLY the UNDERLING that is SCHROEDER. and that just like. doesnt feel right? like narratively that feels incorrect so im going to explain this now.

first ok. so this is also like a completely separate pet peeve of mine but the text literally never says that cb and matt play football like literally every single fucking source everywhere says. like matts page on the villains wiki says one of his hobbies is playing football and like. no???? they never???? say that????? like ok. we know their school HAS a football team (beethoven mentions it in the vipers nest) and we know cb and matt play SOME sport (matt mentions that they "shower together after practice" in the hangover) but the connection is never explicitly drawn between the two. in FACT beethovens line about the football team (below)

kind of like. goes against the idea that cb and matt are on the football team??? like hes talking to cb here i feel like if beethoven were to mention even sarcastically ogling a group that cb is apart of hed make some kind of comment about it. like this is before their whole thing gets resolved theyre still fighting when he says this line it would make complete sense for cb to say something about this. and like ok its peanuts right like just reminding everyone that its peanuts. you know what sport it would make more sense that charlie fucking brown plays like you know what sport it would seem logical for him to play oh i dont know fucking BASEBALL????? im realizing now that this is like a lot less relevant to my original idea than i thought but i still want to keep it here. i think its just kinda like. its not canon that theyre super popular stars of the football team for all we know they could be playing fucking tennis the fact that they play A Sport doesnt make them well liked. also it literally never says at any point that theyre even good even if they are on the football team they could be the worst players we dont fucking know!!! need i remind you of charlie browns only* experience with football

*besides youre in the super bowl charlie brown but that specials bad so were ignoring it. and its not like he was good at football in that either

and if you buy into the idea that they play baseball (which you should baseball is such an integral part of peanuts it makes the most sense) charlie brown (and pigpen for what its worth. also like everyone else too) is DOGSHIT at baseball like its an entire decades long running joke how fucking awful they are at baseball. "maybe he practiced and got better" hes terrible to his bones practice does nothing. heart

ok onto more substantial points. so if you buy into the interpretation that their childhood was just literally normal peanuts (which you should because its very funny) then you can assume that these guys have all known eachother since elementary school (and even if you dont there are multiple lines that reference them being friends as kids so point still stands). but also by virtue of dsg being a peanuts parody and a lot of the comedy just coming from "haha that s like from the comic strip :)" (I WILL TALK ABOUT THE INHERENT TRAGEDY OF THIS LATER) besides like. one guy. every single character mentioned is an established peanuts character. and like idk about you but my highschool is a LOT bigger than my elementary school. like. there are substantially more people there. what im trying to say that while not impossible it is fucking WEIRD to have a decently sized friendgroup that has not changed the slightest bit in almost a decade. what im getting at is these bitches are INSULAR!!!!!!!! they are extremely hyperfocused on an only think about people from their childhoods. i will get back to this

LETS TALK ABOUT SALISBURY STEAK CAN WE TALK ABOUT SALISBURY STEAK PLEASE GOD MAC IVE BEEN DYING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SALISBURY STEAK ALL DAY ok so this scene. woof. ok. this is where the majority of my reasoning for this comes from. first, i want to draw attention to the fact that frieda, the girl that tricia and marcy make fun of so frequently, is another goddamn peanuts character. and so another elementary school friend. it just doesnt end with these bitches do you think about anything else!!!!!!

if tricia and marcy had any kind of actual social standing, them constantly gossiping and shittalking frieda would matter to her. being so constantly and relentlessly made fun of by popular people would have an impact (hi yes i know youre thinking of beethoven ignore him for now were gonna come back to him). but it doesnt! frieda doesnt care about what tricia and marcy think of her, why would she? theyre just those two girls from elementary school who are angry all the time. friedas on the outside, shes not apart of this. the only student mentioned thats not a peanuts character? thats her boyfriend. she is the only window into the world of normalcy

THIS^^ THIS RIGHT HERE IS THE LINE THAT GAVE ME THIS WHOLE IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE. im fairly certain the purpose of this line is to place doubt in our minds on whether or not what we assumed the entire play is actually true. which its not!!! of course this isnt the cool table, all these people do is argue an gossip an stew in their own misery!!!!

ummmm lighting round of things that support my point. if they really were these ultimate cool all powerful popular kids why the hell are they still friends with van. van is a burnout stoner with a sister in an psych ward. considering the things they pounce on to make fun of, this is MORE than enough to completely open fire. but theyre not gonnaaaaa because theyre in the same boat as him!!!!! van and them are on the same level of popularity!!!!!! ummalso THE PARTY the party. the only other guests mentioned to be at this party are franklin (another peanuts character, another childhood friend) and fucking RERUN ? in the comics rerun is established to be MUCH younger than the main cast, even younger than sally, who is mostly shown to be in kindergarten, meaning hed be in middle school at the MOST. and its not like this is a party at vans house and his brother just happens to be there NO!!! THIS IS MARCYS PARTY HE BROUGHT RERUN WITH HIM LITERALLY WHY IS RERUN THERE. THIS PARTY FUCKING SUCKS I KNOW IT IN MY SOUL.

were coming back to beethoven now the thing is that hes in the exact same boat as everyone else. while we do know that its not just the main cast that are outwardly homophobic ("i only got called a queer 3 times ^_^!") it is consistently shown that the main perpetrators are the main cast, much more so than anyone else. beethoven posits that the only reason cb only got called queer is because everyones scared hell beat them up, but i do think its worth considering that the main cast are the only ones who would ever enact actual violence. beethoven is in the same situation, but moreso by force than by choice. hes forced to relive reminders of traumatic childhood events and forced to cling to the past BECAUSE the people that target him used to be his friends. theres a reason they were the only people in peer counseling.

like i said, there is a certain tragedy that comes with dsg being a peanuts parody. its because of the referential comedy that bert royal created a cast of characters so self centered and so hung up on the past that theyre still extremely fixated on the kinds of people they were and the drama they had and their feelings about eachother from when they were literally fucking 8 years old. and isnt that jsut so much more thematically interesting than "oohh popular kid bully gay unpopular kid ooohhhh" theyre all unreliable narrators!!!!!!!! theyre all sick freaks and everyone knows it!!!!!!!! there is no possible justification for their actions, theyre hypocrites plain and simple.

or maybe im reading into everything too much idk its 1 am im talking about the fucking peanuts yaoi fag play. bye

ARC ENDING: Cronus' POV

[TW: this part features talk of neglect and lack of self worth, if this triggers you, please skip this part, its not more important than your health.]

This part is connected to Logan's. read that one first.

enjoy :] <3 (you can find all the other parts on #arcend on this blog)

Logan's crying... What do i do? This is exactly why i didn't take care of Virgil, im not built for this. What am i supposed to do?

"Lo..?"

"im- im fine.. i just need a moment"

He's definitely lying, if he really was fine he wouldn't be closing his eyes to avoid crying

"are you really? You can tell me, I'll listen. You know i will."

"I- I dont know... I dont know what im feeling anymore"

"do you... Want to.. talk about it?"

I hope im doing well, i want him to understand i care about him

"i just dont know what im feeling. Ive had to suppress all emotions in order to be taken seriously- or well, attempt to be taken seriously. And then i had to suppress my sadness and anger when that didn't work, and i was only ignored and pushed out. And now-" he puts his hands out, like he's holding a big invisible bowl, "-i dont even know what feelings feel like anymore."

I wish i knew what that felt like, burning rage is probably worse than feeling nothing. It still sounds like hell, not knowing what you feel, if you feel.

"that sounds awful..."

"and ive sacrificed all that for nothing, too. Its not like its any better. They still wont listen, whenever anything happens it always ends up back in square one. There's no progress, no indication of a reason to keep trying."

I have nothing to say, ive never knew it was that bad.. i mean, i knew it was bad, he asked to FUSE with me. But i didn't know just how deep the cut was. The least i can do is keep listening.

"its frustrating, knowing im just a side character in their stories. And all I'll ever be is a support character thats only there for a moment, never my own character who's at the center of the story."

"thats not true.. you're your own main charact-"

"im not! Even in my own plot, even in my life, my WHOLE EXISTENCE, im still the side character! All i do is help Thomas! No matter what or who, IM ALWAYS JUST SUPPORT."

I place my hand on his shoulder

"Logan... Main character or not, people still care about you."

"who? Remus only cares about me because no ones cares about him, and you only care about me because i brought you back. No one cares about me."

"thats no true! I care about you, more than i care about myself.. you're THE MOST IMPORTANT side. Without you none of us would be here. You deserve to tear them to shreds, yet you choose again and again to make sure they're okay instead. You might not see it but YOU are the reason we're all still here."

Logan is speechless, but he knows im right, i hope.

"you really think so?"

"i know so."

"now come on, we both need calm down time. There's some ice cream in the freezer"

He smiles, a genuine smile. I did it. We both did it.

HELLO i just wanted to say that i love you so muuuch!! i recently finished reading playing for keeps and oh. my. god.

your kevin is the most adorable thing I've ever seen i want to eat him alive (sorry, I'm vegan actually but...)

tntg and pfk is the masterpieces i know what I'm talking about. perhaps you can give some advice for fic writers? i love you sm 😩🤚🏼

OH WOW nice to me thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!! and wanting to eat kevin alive is the average kevin day experience he is just chewable!!!! i guarantee

and aiya advice for fic writers huh. i dont know if my advice is worth much if anything at all but from the top of my head here are some things ive picked up over the years that will hopefully serve someone somewhere

presentation actually matters!!!! a properly formatted fic is not only delicious to read but also helps with keeping you in the story, i know this because i am a bad formatter (so sorry) and whenever i go through my fics and see a mistake i'm immediately taken out of it! just make sure it's easy to read and you have formatted it to the best of your abilities

brevity is the soul of wit. unfortunately. this is by no means i'm advocating for only short sentences (we all love tangents!) but i think it is good to vary on sentence length and save your longer lines for things that are important to note down! this image has been going around for years now but i still think its one of the most helpful pieces of writing advice ive ever seen

side characters are your best friends!!!!! i think as fanfic writers sometimes we want to get to the point and focus only on our mains, but it does add a lot of flavor and texture when you have small storylines happening along with your main plot, especially if you're doing an in-depth character study. life exists even when we're not seeing it!!!! give your side characters interesting stories and relationships!!!!

writing is about FUN and your questions regarding your storyline should never be "what is the most logical thing that could happen now?" but "what is the most interesting thing that could happen now?". this is a sin aftg fans commit the most when talking about aftg but i am here to tell you that no plot is too ambitious. nothing is so out there that you can't write about it! no concept is too wacky! interesting should come first; you worry about the logic in later edits. most readers are more willing to forgive an interesting plot with technical problems than they are willing to forgive a boring story that is perfect writing-wise

i think this is all i have! if anyone would like to add something theyre more than welcome to

hii im just gonna throw my opinion in bcs !! i honestly dont think the way you write it is bad and i like the slowburn and i definitely can see it there. like how theyre getting closer and everything, a lot of things obviously wouldnt happen in the start before they got to know each other and yeah !

so im loving it, its one of my fav works on here as of now and i think youre doing the slowburn just right ! i think the main “problem” here is that the updates ARE a little slow considering most of the fics are one shots you can read in one go so i understand why waiting 2+ days for an update with 8 screenshots might be annoying for some people but i dont really mind ! just maybe could be a little longer so its worth the wait 😅 and its a little annoying sometimes when it FINALLY seems like theyre getting somewhere and then they just act like nothing happened like damn😓 couldve made a move already

ALSO someone mentioned hanbin seeming shady but i think thats because there are a lot of characters and you cant just be so detailed about everyone so it might seemed like it but its not the case. like when he left her at the park (?) i think.

i really hope this doesnt come off as mean, i actually wanted to back YOU up because i think youre doing the slowburn right and i like it like that ! just yeah could be longer updates but its still all good. my roommate knows ab this smau too because i be going around the apartment like “damn i hope theres an update tonight” LMAOO so yeah keep going at your pace, ill eat it up anyway ! :) sorry for rambling too much haha

duuuuuuuuuuuuuude i can't believe some people view down bad so highly?? first of all thank you for taking the time to type such a thorough answer i really really appreciate it and second of all, I swear i'll try to be quicker with the updates but i'll admit it's kinda tough sometimes since exam season is approaching but I'll do my best so you guys can enjoy down bad fully lolllll and i'll also try to make the chapters longer (since i only recently discovered that on pc you can upload more than ten images loll)

I admit at first i was kinda confused on how long this was supposed to take as other smaus on here took like a couple of months to be completed but i ended up taking soooooo much longer and about them not acting on it, don't you worry i kinda rearranged the chapters and we are soon entering their era where they realize they have feelings for one another lolll

about hanbin's character, i basically just needed an excuse to make y/n and jeno have some alone time but i think it's kinda fun how some of you are reading into it and speculating and stuff

also this did not come off as mean AT ALL i literally wanted to sob reading this you're much too nice and i'm glad you enjoy reading down bad and thank you for reading my posts even though they're not story updates lollll

anyway all of that to say thank you soooooo much i really appreciate you and people's feedback like it really doesn't go unnoticed and i really try my best to take everything into consideration!! have a great day/night/morning to you anonnn

"I will probably never watch an episode of SPN again due to finale trauma"

Same.

I haven't watched a second of SPN since the finale aired. The finale retroactively destroyed the entire show for me. I literally threw out all my SPN merch the next day. Donated it all to a thrift store. I was so embarrassed. I unfollowed everyone (except Misha Collins) associated with the show the moment the last episode finished. I just didn't want anything more to do with it. I still find it hard to believe they really made that episode and allowed it to be broadcast. Blows my mind to think people were paid actual money to write and produce that. They frickin risked their lives (!!!) to make it. Imagine if they'd all gotten COVID and died in Vancouver, unable to see their families one last time, alone in COVID isolation wards, unable to hold funerals (if their bodies would've even been allowed back into the country).. and for what? The shittiest episode of television ever made. Oof.

I remember my friend (who knew I was dreading the finale) asked me the next day "so, how was it?" and I just replied "IT WAS SO MUCH WORSE THAN I EVEN IMAGINED."

Like, I was *expecting* it to be bad. I was *prepared* to be disappointed. But I was NOT ready for it to be SO bad that I would immediately retroactively disown the entire show and everyone associated with it out of sheer existential embarrassment.

Reading this is so sad because its so close to my experience. I didnt have a lot of merch, but the merch i did have was either thrown out or shoved in the back of my wardrobe never to see the light of day again!

That finale really did a number on us didnt it? Over 3 years later and it still hurts my heart when I think about it too much.

It really was the worst thing ive ever seen. Ive seen some pretty bad TV but omg nothing will ever top that. Its maddening that anyone could sign off on that absolute garbage as if it was worth anything more than being cast into holy fire and condemmed to the 7th circle of hell.

Its funny, I'm so weary and apprehensive about starting new media since then. Its impossible to trust storytellers especially anything made by those involved with spn. I have kept my heart so guarded since then and refuse to fall into fandoms that dont already have a known ending. The only reason i allowed myself to get super into Sandman is because the story is complete, and we all know Good Omens will get a happy ending. Anything else for me is either one off mini series, or shows that have already aired in full.

I want to love Dead Boy Detectives when it comes out. I dont know how that story will end though I suppose there are comics already for it that I can look into. Also Steve Yockey was one of the few gems of SPN and I'm happy that his ghost has partnered with Neil Gaiman to make something that looks really decent. Steve Yockeys SPN episodes were always meta masterpieces of metaphor and symbolism and so I hope it'll build a meaty fandom to get excited about.

Then again the apprehension and fear remains, because SPN finale trauma prob wont ever go away. You cant invest years of your life devoted to those characters only to have them destroyed to dust before your eyes and come out unscathed.

I hope over time the feelings we hold about it get easier to deal with, especially as we move on to new stories, new fandoms, and new characters to love. But SPN the show is very much dead to me, and this time it wont resurrect.

I dont want to milk the discussion to death but i am writing this after reading the post and comments under that post on reddit. You dont have to answer i am just writing it as an observation.

Its understandable why people do not see Will's importance or role. What the writers did with him wasnt just holding the spoiler for the finale. After all you can still pull a plot twist while revealing some of the stuff or putting more setup. But theu revealed basically nothing with litte to no setup. In Will's case it doesnt help bc they also sidelined him way too much and separated him from the main plotline. That is just a writing mistake and admitting its not hating on the writers.

I dont want to sound rude. And Whenever i have this discussion with people i tend to keep an open mind to the both sides. Overall though i tend to agree that if your writing is pretty much alien to most of your audience then it is bad writing. This show isnt written for a selective part of the audience. I wish people would realize that. If i go to twitter, reddit, insta, tiktok or other sites that make posts and analyses about ST and i see the majority of people call Will unimportant then the writers failed at even hinting at his importance. People shouldnt be saying he is an irrelevant or unimportant character that doesnt do anything. It is not just El fans who say this, its the majority of the audience. It was the writers job to stop this accusation by putting more setup and adding more screentime for him before the finale season rolls, even if they want to pull a plot twist in St5.

People also dont like plot twists that has little to no actual setup. That is why plot twists are tricky. Also keep in mind that the same thing applies to byler going canon... i dont want to sound like i dislike the show because i dont. But i have to admit that they flopped the writing. I genuienly think that once St5 rolls people will realize this more. Heck even some Will fans themselves think he is not that important and what happened to him were all coincidental. Can we blame the overall audience for thinking that way?

My problem isnt that i think Will is unimportant but rather how the writers approached it. It is full of bad decisions and lack of good writing. And whatever plot twist that they may pull might not even have a positive pay off at the end due to how they have been writing things. In that case is it even worth to pull a plot twist if the pay off also flops? Imho the Duffers dont realize that their setup for a potential pay off is built on a weak construction site but they like the element of twists so they dont care about the coherent build up and progression.

Will the audience's response to what happens in St5 be "Wow this is so true how didnt i see it coming" or will it be majorly a reaction like "This is bullshit there was almost nothing that suggested this"? Because the latter one seems more likely to happen, unfortunately.

Anyways this was all over the place but admittedly i wrote it after reading the comments on reddit as an overall afterthought. I respect your opinion but in think there is a major disconnect btw the writers and its audience here in terms of writing imho.

Hello anon,

Decided to go to sleep before answering. No, I don't think you're being rude, and to be honest I agree with a lot of what you said. I think that the points we disagree on we may just continue to disagree on 😂🤝

I don't think you are hating the show for pointing out flaws in the writing, and in the post I just made about this I do at least try to acknowledge some of their shortcomings such as— shafting Will's presence and not balancing the supporting casts' storylines. I do agree that, like you said, that Will's role in the story could have been emphasized more.

The thing that I do disagree with, and maybe we just won't ever see eye to eye on this anon, is that there wasn't any setup at all, especially concerning his role in the supernatural plot. I listed off the evidence and gave my reasoning in my post, so I won't repeat here as to not sound like a broken record.

I also agree that no, the show isn't written just for the over-analytical people like me, but I think surveying reddit isn't an accurate depiction of the general audience. Granted I don't see much of sttwt, tiktok and insta so I'll just trust your word for it. But in that specific reddit thread, it seemed like fans who were adamantly trying to deny Will's importance, using faulty evidence as proof. It's interesting because these aren't really fans who watch from a surface level, they actively participate in fandom and willfully skew their perception of the text in order to fit their vision of things.

I think when it comes to revealing Will's importance and having it not come out of nowhere, it will all come down to execution in this final season. If the show reminds the audience of some of the hints leading up to it, then maybe they won't feel so vexed when the reveal happens. If they throw us in the deep end and start pulling out new details then it would definitely feel out of nowhere. It'll be a fine line for them to walk for sure.

But anyway that's where I'll leave it anon. I appreciate you sharing your opinion, although I still maintain some of my thoughts on this and I think you will too and that's okay 🤝

More side order criticism and complaining that you are under no obligation to read

I get that side order was a roguelike which apparently tend to be short? Idk ive never played one before but anyway that still doesnt justify the initial hype, the blatant change in aesthetics and plot (remember the first trailer? And the second trailer i think with the lobby doors looking VERY different and matching what we saw in the concept art trailer) almost last second fnaf security breach style, and the amount of stupid shit that happened throughout most of splatoon 3s lifespan since SUPPOSEDLY the games only gonna be getting updates for like, what, 2 more seasons? And its like wow we waited all this time and went through so much shit for a story thats hardly even a story. Once you unlock everything its just. Prlz grinding for gear to get.

It was fun! It was enjoyable! But it sucked and it wasnt worth all of that. Unfortunately i care a lot about splatoons lore and they didnt really go anywhere with what little lore they did have. They also contradicted themselves multiple times for a net zero lore gain anyway. This is about the whole memories """subplot""", if you can even call it that. It really was just "pearl and marina and also this other random irrelevant character talk to each other while you stand there and stare at them from the background" simulator and its like. Thats it? Thats the story? Thats what i waited through all the bullshit for? And then they make you think that there is more, actually, because they keep leading up to something, and then nothing happens. Like okay what was that for.

The gameplay was quick and easy because thats just my skill level. I didnt find it difficult. If youre good at salmon run then chances are youre good at side order. Theres nothing else to be done about that. Im not gonna play bad on purpose for a chance at a challenge. That isnt fun. I just wish the game was rewarding and to me the lore is the reward but... when you think about it literally at all nothing that marina did all this for shows any proof of having worked. She still has to hack her own vr world to do anything with it. Order, now smollusk, is still very much in control. They dont show you anything memory-related actually changing or being affected. They just say it happened and act like thats all there should be to it. And if they were gonna focus on memories, why did they make this whole thing about how bystanders can accidentally be sucked in and then do literally nothing with that? Why not show an actual change in the actual inkopolis square? Why murch of all characters to get a pallet. Why not involve iso padre, whos in inkopolis square now (im very happy about that), who had also lost his memories and was an established character that we could actually interact with in the previous game? It just doesnt add up. Like sorry that i expected good storytelling, its just this is the same people who made octo expansion and they keep trying to one-up octo expansion and they keep falling flat on their face because they keep thinking the gameplay is what made octo expansion so good when it was also the plot and the lore and the worldbuilding that added so much to it so i thought "this time for sure" especially with everything they showed us in the first trailer.

Again, i know it was all concept art, but surely it wouldnt be fair to show off so much only for the final product to be almost nothing like it? Surely if they werent set on the story then they wouldve waited longer to be realeasing trailers and announcing dlc in the first place? Surely it makes sense to expect what was shown. I dont get why theres some people who think everyone had too high expectations. Like its literally just a matter of if you think about any of it literally at all and actually care about it any way more than barebones surface level stuff literally at all then its natural to expect more.

I know that "people being fine with bad story and horrible characterization just because their favorite characters got to live" post might be more about bi-han, and it's true, he's more like a parody of sektor here than anything like The Real Bi-han, and if that's what we're going to get then I much rather wouldve liked him as a tragic figure. But I think I would also add smoke to that sentiment: his presence in the story amount to a big old NOTHING other than the team being like "look smoke is back!", like not only have they gotten rid of what couldve possibly made him interesting on his own (enenra, gone outside of being mentionned in like. a skin, an alternate universe self (ugh) and an intro dialogue... hoorayyy) but its also like. idk. Tomas is also a tragic figure meant to die early like bi-han and they genuinely dont know how to write him otherwise, so he is just standing there. At least him "dying"/being turned into a cyborg showed the threat of the cyber lin kuei in the og timeline to us AND sub zero while also making us feel sad for smoke and sub zero because they were friends yknow? Here smoke is yet again feeling so wasted. Maybe they'll do smth different with him next (or just. "kill" him again in some way), but its also so frustrating to have to wait 5+ years for the rest of the story

i was SHOCKED to see how little value smoke added to the story. i was prepared for havik and nitara and reiko to be jobber fuel only but i swear to god smoke got less screen time than any of those characters who also added very little value to the story.

my favorite part about smoke was his struggle to be good and his battle with darkness forced onto him. he was forced to be a cyber lin kuei and had to hunt down kuai liang, and despite that still proved to have a soul. enenra was forced into him and there was potential in that as a revenant, enenra had taken over him and smoke struggled with both not being a revenant anymore and also trying to free his soul from enenra. he doesn’t want to be a killing machine but it seems like he’s unable to escape that path be it via being a cyborg or being enenra.

to see smoke reduced to the adopted brother that bi-han is mean to is so gross. also the fact that the bios for each character made it seem like the story would delve into those backstories is so disheartening. we didn’t get to learn anything about the murder of his family or what it was like for smoke to grow up in the lin kuei as bi-han and kuai liang’s brother. we don’t even get any dynamic between kuai liang and tomas besides kuai liang saying “you’re my brother.” literally if they had bi-han just kill tomas in front of kuai liang he would have had more worth to the story even if that alternative also sucks.

also if we do see enenra again, it’s only going to be in form of an alternate timeline smoke and not the current timeline smoke which is so fucking tiring. like you have these characters so why not give them arcs and development instead of introducing these “what if” versions of characters?

i’ve said it a million times but these characters are worth sooooo much more than they are written as

nick watches spiderman

oh boy okay. agh. here we go. right off the bat the opening is just SO good??? its so sick and for what??? the soundtrack to both films also is very clearly 2010s pop music or whatever but still im a fan. shoutout to 2012 and 2014 specifically (bc thats when the movies came out KJHKJASHG)

peter playing hide and seek with his father in the beginning of tasm is very cute until u realize why his fathers hiding =]

AGH. richard parker.

oh yeah i forgot abt the office. so richards office gets broken into and like ransacked bc oscorp employees (????) were looking for his data on the spiders. is this ever stated in either film? no.

anyway! time to abandon our child and leave the country! - richard and mary parker

we learn basically nothing abt mary btw like we have noooo idea who she is shes just there

OKAY ALSO in the first film when theyre leaving richard says "be good" and just shuts the door. in the SECOND one he holds peters hand and rubs his thumb over it then says it and leaves. idk why its different its probably just a mistake but i noticed

FLASH THOMPSON this flash is soooo interesting he has such a fun character

peter being a scrawny brunette white boy and a skater and photographer in like the 2010s and also somehow being single is baffling to me

anyway hes abt to get his shit kicked in

remember how i said flash is a fun character? hes not rn he kinda sucks BUT he gets better

like he hits peter a few times but he gets better i promise

SHOUTOUT TO GWEN shes awesome she doesnt suffer from "only worth being a love interest" disease she actually has a full character

also her checking on peter after the fight is so cute

most of her character development and stuff comes in the second film bc it focuses on their relationship more but its so fun

"ben parker dont u even think abt leaving that filthy box in my kitchen" "these are my bowling trophies" "oh well then by all means please leave that filthy box in my kitchen" I LOOOOVE MAY AND BEN

ben is such a fun father figure for peter. like he says he doesnt know how to parent and take care of him well enough but honestly? he does a pretty good job

THIS. GODDAMN BRIEFCASE. THIS BRIEFCASE RUINS SO MUCH.

"guess who sold it to him? your mother, thats how they met" AGHHHH THATS SOOOO CUTE anyway whatever back to peter

oh yeah the photo of richard and curt. the start of it all. KGJHSKJGH this causes so many issues for everyone now

peter parker in glasses. i wanna be him.

im genuine peter parker is like prime gender envy for me i wanna be him soooo bad

THE DOOR LOCK he managed to build his own remote controlled door lock its so fun

ben is suchhh a good character to compare to richard. bens not even blood to peter but he treated him so incredibly well. and ik richard was in danger and thats why he left but he also just left his son. its more complicated than that for sure but at this point chronologically thats all we know

curt and richard working together is soooo interesting bc richard was just out here working for everyone JGHSKJHG

"youll find your badge to the left" [peter looks for two seconds] "are you having trouble finding yourself?" MAAM GIVE HIM TIME KJGJKSHF

like yes he snuck into this very important building and stole an internship slot from someone else but still!! let the man find a fake name!!!

GWEN oh yeah gwen is dr connors head intern she is so incredibly smart JKGHJSKHGKJ like u see her intelligence a lot more in the second film but shes so smart and i love her so much im a gwen stacy fan

each of the spiderman villains (or marvel in general) either want revenge or to make the world perfect. or both. gimme somethin new. /LHLH ITS FUN I ENJOY THE LIZARD PLOT

"hes second in his class" "second?" "yeah" "are you sure about that?" "im pretty sure" peter and gwen my beloveds <333

they have such a fun relationship and it drives me crazy theyre so cute jhafkjhskj even when theyre not together theyre still like. friends. (dont think abt the second movie we're not there yet)

i wish i was watching this with someone so i wouldnt have to explain whats happening on screen while also giving thoughts abt it. whos gonna step up and watch spiderman with me.

PETER. HE JUST BROKE INTO THE BIG SECRET SCIENCE LAB> U CANT JUST.

hes a little stupid

this might go without saying but if ur arachnophobic i do not recommend watching the first movie bc this whole lab sequence is just a shit ton of spiders. the second movie should be good but this one is. not.

anyway peters touching things and its not going well for him

OH YEAH CURTS TALKING ABT NORMAN okay so dr connors work is strictly to work on curing norman osborn bc he has retroviral hyperplasia (the osborn curse) hes not actually working to help ppl, thats not what he was hired for, hes here to help cure norman so that he doesnt die from this disease that no ones cured yet

so what theyre essentially doing is trying cross species genetics to see if some animal with like. self healing abilities. (like a spider) would cure norman if used in the correct way. thats also what richard was working on with him but we dont learn abt that for a while.

ANYWAY MY FRIEND IS DOING STUFF SO IM GONNA PAUSE HERE. ILL PICK BACK UP ON THIS LATER TONIGHT <3

sweetheart,

i love ya, but I'm not doing that for the rest of my life, no sir,

everyone knows not to marry into that, and its kinda common sense not to date someone with your type of addiction and just walk away, like we all know its never gonna work if youre constantly making your partner feel like shit because youre always lusting of the things you so desperately want, and yeah you may say that 'your're better, real, youre my love theyre just pictures, theyre just videos, ect) but we all know you wish it was them you could have when your gazing longingly and thirstly at those pictures, you create relationships with all these women, i just happen to be in person version added to the collection, its nasty, and its horrible knowing this will likely never change, cause its 'not that bad' its 'a comfort thing' 'i was alone for so long' and i have to live feeling like im always competing with them, i cant escape them, im so fucking tired of being paranoid that the person i love is going to always be looking at something more appealing, its awful, that constant pit in your stomach everytime hes lookin at a female character a little too closely, or when the girls are everywhere for him, camera roll, most social media, even his wallpapers on all devices, sure theres a photo of you two, sure as a homescreen but its really just a sunset photo and we're hidden in a low corner hidden by apps, and the never paying that close attention to you, you learn as much as you can about him listen to every word he says but doesnt care to know about you, with the exception of major plot points he knows nothing about what you like and why you like it, its either you rarely get a chance to speak, or youre perpetually cut off, or just simply ignored when speaking about yourself, but, he knows everything they say, knows every little detail, their backstories are phenominal and look how hot they are, he wont really say that to you anymore youve shown you dislike, but you know, you always know, so you try your best to be pretty and good enough to be wanted like he wants them, but you never get wanted like that, to be fair you never did, this was the first time someone is showing they love you and want you, but of course if i wasnt wantable before him what makes me wantable now? yknow all his needs are met by them and his ablilty to do so much with them that he feels no need to pay any mind to you beyond the physical and guidance, yeah he loves you, you know that hes shown that, but is it worth the mental and emotional exhaustion it takes to fight for a normal relationship? one where we both feel happy? i know theres no way he isnt miserable too, the contant bickering the anxiety of fucking up, but c'mon man, if you cope properly, like by speaking (without lashing out) to someone when things are too much, not falling further into an obsessive chemical pick-me-up addiction and honestly this sex obsession, youd do so much better, but you wont because its one of them hidden addictions that no one but your friends and people youre close to know about, by your choice, and you think that means its totally fine, because I'll stick around regardless right? cause i have this long and im making life plans with you and i love you more than youll ever know and as long as i dont see it' or notice it its fine, it wont kill me, youll keep going until im about to cut my losses and you promise and youll try you really will, but itll creep back and we'll be back at square one, or youll get better at hiding it from me, youre already pretty good at it now, ill bet money that if i got 3 hours and all your passwords id find cia sized files everywhere and id puke and cry myself to sleep for months, and i know youll only get better at it, and i dont want to be paranoid that your girls are still around my whole life, what kind of example am i setting for my daughters if i just let myself live like that, god id kill my son-in-law if he made her feel like that, honestly id kill him for most of the things youve done, so why am i letting it happen to me???

soap for the eyes and cold, cold cold water

For the skin

Droozy all across my room,

Is it even mine, for when oil spills

All my brain is pushed to the outsides

I’d like to spin with lace and ribbons within the sun and unfortunately I’d imagine it with someone like you

And i keep my locket empty but with oxygen and nitrogen

As if something was there to fill a space that was never empty

And yet i look through the glass and see someone just as broken as the mirror

And i wonder if that love is even worth anything

Knowing how much love is worth in the world these days you’d think i’d take it but With the fear of a strong beast as I place my flag on the mound

The mound that is still a locket, but opens and seeps, and i guess my feet just have to stay muddy, my trench foot growing worse

I dont know if your love is worth it.

I want it so, but is it even yours that i want, or maybe the character ive assigned for you, which you kindly do not play the role

If your role is a challenge, I do not know why I see it fit for a life as uncomplicated as this

I don’t even think im bored

I just want a mans hand although i know i rlly do not want it because i have analyzed this and know it is not even a fit at all

I want someone who will do these things for me.

And yet when the door is held or a second longer is waited I feel so immensely cared for

But these small gestures mean nothing without big ones as well, and that, you fail to offer

I love my little life I have built and the cruelty of love threatens every last brick in my castle

So much so that I think insane things, like I better glue the bricks together so they never move, but failing to allow space just destroys more in the end, so I must be patient, I must look you in the eye and see nothing more, just a human, just a person, just a guy, you’re not venus, because I am.

Yearning is the worst for my mind but best for my dopamine, adrenaline, I swear there is no better thing, but thats the catch, it holds up so well like a net with many holes, and i am so many drinks in, and i fell in a hole and I’m spiraling down, down, down, I try to cling to my net, but made of my fantasy and now all I have done is bring myself lower without even having a substance, a reason, to it.

Why do I want so bad a life that calls a threat and sadness instead of a peaceful happy one. I know he is a threat. And yet im enthralled. Why, what is going on, and why does his kindness hurt me so deep, why do I wish to hold his skin, and wish we could rot away together into nothing, I know I have bigger goals and yet I feel quick to drop them at the opportunity of a soul fabric chance, when I know its not even that and just a dumb fucking fantasy land my mind has thrown me into, instead of fucking math and electrons I have to become a biological creature, intense so intense desire to mate and bond and bond and bond and attach and attach and love. Unfortunately love is the law. I dont even love him. I just want the best for him, i want him to heal, oh god please im putting this into the universe that i want him to heal not even for me but for himself, he deserves it, and if he never speaks to me again after he heals thats okay with me. He will heal eventually and so will I too. And our separate ways we go and I will barely remember these feelings until the next person who comes around.

i seem to sometimes forget others hadn’t had interactions as a child like i did, hence why my discussion of childhood during lunch today was somewhat awkward.. because of my own faults, it seems. i had forgotten to realize my subject matter was socially inappropriate for the area. i, uh.. feel really bad about this. like, i am so fucking sorry bad. im still thinking about it, both the memories from young age & the cafeteria interaction, although primarily the memories..

i will, uh, separate this, because it’s definitely needed. don’t read this, it isn’t worth it. move along now, unless you crave to know about my adolescence and its awful properties

a wooden house, wooden bedroom. big bed, body pillow with various emotions on it. glow in the dark star stickers, various planets in the solar system hung from the ceiling. various items. a computer, colored pencils, comic of choice being worked on. most of them…. uhm… very.. explicit in nature.

i remember a character of theirs. a little girl. sunflower dress, horrible family. sent to an orphanage. feel sick at saying anything more. cute characters i liked, all eviscerated. its not their fault, inherently; they had a lot of things going on. definite abuse, at some point. still, the memories make me somewhat sick.

this was a person i cared about, swam at the beach with, drew art with. grew up with. we would play the recorder & be grimy & silly together.

yet, this person simultaneously showed me a jarring amount of sexual topics, nothing a young child should see to that extent— neither them, or me. they were two years or so older. we played on the playground and roleplayed about a fucking sex shop, for gods sake. i just now resurfaced the memory of [being shown something that should not be shown at age ten]. it makes me deeply, deeply uncomfortable.

i still remember sharing a cold miniature pizza & chicken tenders as a lunch with them. juice with water added to lessen the sweetness. adventure time in the background on the television. the fact their door lock got broken once because of our stupidity. an old dog they had.

i wonder if, by any extent, this friendship caused me to subconsciously be revulsed and uncomfortable by so many of these things. it probably did.. ever since knowing them, i haven’t looked at certain childhood objects the same. a certain pillow pet comes to mind, so do pillows in general…. would explain my distain for the items, when they aren’t the ones i know. would also explain the long time discomfort in the following things: taking a shower at someone elses place, changing at someone elses place, staying overnight in general at a friends house, sharing any kind of clothes, feeling as if in my sleep i’d be….

….oh.

……..oh.

...damn it. having this realization as of writing this makes it all the more horrible. it seems to explain my distinct hatred of touch with those who discomfort me, my lack of touch even with close friends unless its a hug, my distain for… so many things. my stunted growth in regards to relationships. ive been afraid, so afraid, terrified of the concept, not wanting to be hurt and to be helpless again; subconsciously, without even realizing it

it would also explain why i am so preferable to the concept of plushies instead of human people as things to hold. inanimate objects can’t hurt me, they can’t reach out of the shadows and hold you in a way you don’t want. would explain my dislike of quote, cuddling.

god, i’m… hahaha, [nervous laughter, not that of amusement.. i am very much not amused.] i did not realize id be having this epiphany today. or anytime soon. At all. god damn it.

well… if someone did read this, then they experienced a cruel read. im sorry. why am i sorry? i put a ‘dont read this’ sign! doesn’t matter, i’m sorry regardless.

[WHAT NOW? do i just go on with my day? i can’t, that feels odd. i need to make my friend their birthday piece.. i need to do so many things. i have so much to do, but i just got the biggest epiphany dropped like an anvil on my head… maybe thinking of people who were once nice to me will make me feel better…. think of friends & acquaintances & old friends & whatnot, to make me feel safe… peruse the archive i have of photos…]

[edit: i just did that. i feel significantly better. thank you, uhm… um…. what do i say….. ah, i will say friend, i like saying friend… even if its quite foolish, its trivial anyway…]

li am legitimately on 3 hours of sleep and I just had the wildest healing experience lmao

>am AST, qued for leveling, end up in Halatali

> tank is buck-ass naked, dont think much of it

> notice him HP keeps dropping like a fly, think ‘that’s weird!’ and press on

>just before the first boss, rational thoughts and a hint of beginning-to-care wiggles itself through the fog of sleep-depravity, and i check his gear.

> nothing zilch nada. i think, well maybe its the “emperor’s new clothes” glam? but no, hovering gives me zero pop-ups. i’m mildly confused. i ask in chat.

and he’s been doing (i think) decently big-boy pulls the entire time, and so at this point the mobs all overwhelm him quicker than my 2.45 second cast time -

I’m not even mad. like, i felt annoyed at first? but then just bemusement settled in, and i was intrigued. i wanted to study him under a microscope like some kinda fungus i found on a tree in the backyard. so i check his character info just to see what i’d find.

wow, (/tired incredulity)

but now i have an excuse to just hit one button for 90% of the run, and if he dies we all know why :) like i am absolved from all responsibility so this is an ez run and i actually felt less like, stressed/worried about playing right ig? bc already it doesnt matter lmao so like idk keeping tank alive is no longer a pressing priority in a self-motivating sense. i’m still gonna heal him but if he dies, you best not give me lip abt it, mr tighty-whities xDDD (no but fr today i am guaranteed to bite heads off at the slightest hint of whatever towards me. today is not a social day. today is a ‘begrudgingly acknowledge the fact that other people exist but i’m going to go off on my own adventure waaay tf away from civilization’ kinda day

he dies again at some point ofc bc nakey + i am trying to do my rotation whenever i find a safe moment. got 3 comms at the end, pretty chill run. prefer not to do it but that wasnt so bad, on a lvl 20 dungeon. /shrug

cocnutty up in that head damn. no one talk smack about my gear no more, bc i could definitely be worse - i could be this guy. at least im not subjecting people to those kinda shenanigans lmfao like holy shit? xD

also like at best. this’ll be over in 15 minutes (with the way our pace was going) and at worst, it’s ragebait and not worth holding a convo b/c what is it going to change. i dont have unlimited amounts of energy and attention, why would i donate it to this guy lmao. im here for exp and if we can do that then im set bb

march 16th, 2023

from faith

ashlyn,

i’ve written and rewritten this letter 7 times. this will be the 8th. 

it use to be much easier to express myself to you through letters than in person, but it seems that’s changed. no boundary or words seem to capture all my emotions enough.

i’ve been listening to collide with the sky a lot, and i think of you. how it feels like you, how the chords and melodies sound like us. i think you’ll understand what i mean. when im with you, it feels differently than it use to. but not in a bad way- it feels new, like rebirth. like we aren’t the same plant from a seed planted 10 years ago, but perhaps a seed from that plant. the offspring. there’s a latin phrase by rudolf virchow to describe cell division, “omnis cellula e cellua” and it means that every cell comes from another. i feel like the phrase itself exceeds that- that there is not one if not from another and that all things are connected, the old and the new. like the seed we have now. 

im going to water it, give it sun and re-pot it into the ground when its strong enough. this will be the plant i won’t kill. 

there’s so much we don’t know about each other now and sometimes it feels a bit intimidating, but it soothes me to know that even with all the space that’s grown between us, you still know who i am. details, characters, milestones have come and gone but it above it all, you know me. you think words before i say them, know my stance before i take one, know my breath before my chest rises. and you aren’t trying to, maybe don’t even realize it. but you’ve known me for many lives, i suppose the atoms in your body have always recognized mine. it’s nice to know that when i find myself wondering if who i am to people is truly authentic, if anyone truly sees through whatever facade im playing, there will always be one person who always has.  

you said i dont remind you of people, people remind you of me. i feel the same way- in fact i find myself chasing after those people the most so that there will always be pieces of you with me. none quite as smart, none quite as witty, definitely none as dear, but all wonderful. i hope that when you find people that remind you of me, they only harness the good parts that love and treat you kindly. 

i didnt tell you, but i had played the strangers game the day before. a different version than the one we played, but still. i wanted to play with you because i felt it was a way for me to tell you about me and hear about you without the pressure of asking the questions myself. shoutout to whoever made that game- that shit was really well made. there’s still a long way to go for us but im grateful for that journey. as i’ve gotten older and in a way, more adult, i’ve realized how different friendships are now. this sounds bad, but they require more effort. when you’re not surrounded by them constantly, when you’re in different cities with different objectives, its easy to let them fade. not because you want them to, or because the input isn’t worth it, but because nothing can be maintained the same way forever, if at all. i’ve realized this even with family- when they move away your relationship with them changes even though the love doesn’t. its a sad part of growing up, a part we can adjust to but never change. that’s partially why i wanted to come see you. i realized how fate has already done its part by bringing us back to each other but its my job to make sure it stays that way. 

one thing i wanted you to know when we were together, and also just in general is that you don’t have to be so cautious around me. you don’t have to be scared to ask me anything, you don’t have to hold back or wonder about how im feeling. dont have to wonder about my actions and dont have to hold onto any guilt or past things. honestly, i cant seem to rid of the guilt that lingers within me for my own actions and maybe i’ll be able to when we’re finally ready to discuss everything that’s happened, but in the meantime im trying to not let it affect the way i am with you in ways that are not productive. i want you to be yourself, fully, with me. i want you to ask me uncomfortable questions and i want you to feel free to ask about my actions. ill try my best to be transparent even when you dont, though.

for example: why it takes me so long to write. why i go through phases where i dont check this account but cant get it off my mind the entire time. i’ve always been this way with this account and i think its because im scared. i do this with lots of things; dont do homework assignments when i know the topic isn’t one i grasp, avoid my parents when i know they’ll confront me about something, hide my mess under the bed when i know i need to clean it. it doesn’t make it disappear, and most definitely is NOT out of mind regardless of how far i put it out of sight. but i think its because i’ve been scared of saying the wrong thing, or of being reminded of everything that’s happened- everything i’ve done. so if i pretend neither of us are acknowledging it, i can pretend im not failing to communicate everything i feel. even when we first made the account and i’d have these phases, it was because i was scared of the new distance college brought us and thought if i avoided telling you about all the new ways my life had changed, maybe time could freeze where i left it. even when i knew things were getting worse the longer i neglected it, thought constantly about how unfair that was to you, i told myself that maybe the more i denied it the less true it would be. but not all confrontations are bad, and most are necessary. that’s something i need to work on, something i will work on. 

i wasn’t sure what day this would be ready for you, but isn’t it ironic that its a thursday? 

“i was scared to say love, what was i so afraid of?

future looking so bright, head be feeling so light”

- angel by lexa gates