#especially now that I don't know what to think of canon and what's going on with Fyodor's character in canon
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it’s so interesting that with previous love interests, it was normal and fine to not ship them and to still want buddie in the future, but now, we have to sit down and shut up and accept that it’s never happening and B/T are forever
oh no wait, it’s not interesting, it’s annoying and confusing and frankly just weird. misogynistic and borderline fetishistic
shipping non-canon couples, especially ones with 6 years of history and love and shared experiences, is the norm in literally every fandom, but now suddenly it’s wrong and how dare we
a fair few of the people saying this are also, conveniently, the ones implying that B’s bisexuality is tied to T and T alone and if we don’t ship them, we don’t support bi!B
how. very. interesting! /annoying/confusing/weird
So interesting. Dude, I got called homophobic because I didn't immediately look at them in 703 and decided they were true love. In 703. Because I didn't look at the shoulder touch and immediately started shipping them. Homophobic with all the letters. I got yelled at. After 703. Legit almost deleted this whole blog over some of the things that got sent. I was legitimately crying with friends who are not in the fandom if I was being unreasonable or insane or whatever else I got called for not jumping in instantly and to ask if I was actually doing something wrong. People were saying we were being weird about queer storylines. That we needed to shut the fuck up and enjoy the way Oliver Stark was gonna make out with a hot guy. That not being on board the ship meant that we had an unreasonable and ridiculous necessity of making sure Eddie was the only guy for Buck. Literally every single person in this fandom hc Buck 1.0 also hooked up with guys. Most people never acted as if Buck needs to be guided through his queerness by this hot older guy. Oh, wait, no, they did. With T. People automatically decided that Buck needed a queer Yoda. That he needed someone to hold his hand and be a guide. They added a fucked up power dynamic from the get go. With no information, Buck was already a baby that needed his hand held through his own sexuality. And let me tell you one thing, I know for a FACT that if it was Eddie, the automatic reaction wouldn't be putting T in this idealized experienced gay guide position when that would've made more sense (not that I think any of them needs a guide) because Eddie is the one with the body count you can count with one hand and a weird relationship with sex. But somehow I'm the one who's weird about Buck's sexuality. I don't want Buck to explore. I need Buck to only have loved Eddie. Sure. Look, I don't wanna multiship. The same way everyone is allowed to ship whatever the fuck they want, I'm allowed to not ship whatever the fuck I want. If it was a woman no one would've been in my inbox basically demanding I make the same level of analysis I make for buddie for them (let me tell you one thing too, if I made the level of analysis I do with buddie with bt, no one would like what I have to say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) but I'm still getting asked for it for some reason when I never indicated I ship the two.
But I'm not allowed to have any critical thoughts about anything involving bt or else I'm being weird and that's the mild term that's being used. I can't point out the fact that T left Buck in a curb and failed to communicate shit properly even though it happened in canon. I can't say that I think it felt kinda callous for him to say "they had henleys in the 80s" to Buck being upset T didn't dress on theme (also, the job requires them to change into a uniform by nature, he could've put a colorful shirt and indulged Buck a little bit there without it interfering with the way he was on standby but I can't say that or else I'm a hater). There is no criticism allowed in the ship but somehow I'm the one being weird. I don't think Buck should be in a relationship. I think Buck is still exhibiting the same patterns when it comes to love interests. And yes, I would feel the same way if it was Eddie. Buck doesn't know how to be happy alone and he will never be happy in a relationship until he learns that. I was saying that when it was Natalia and getting praised for my understanding of Buck's character. Now I'm locking Buck onto Eddie. Buck's bisexuality is only valid if he's actively kissing a guy for some people but I'm the one being weird. BT have so many visual parallels to bucktaylor, but if I say that's a bad sign I'm being a hater. I need to sit my ass down, ignore six seasons of buildup, accept that it's over, and that now making Eddie queer and getting buddie together would suck because it would destroy the friendship they built so bt are endgame and gonna get married and somehow I'm the one who's being weird about queer relationships and attaching Buck bisexuality to a person. The fandom lost its fucking mind when they saw Oliver kiss a guy and, yeah, it does feel misogynistic and borderline fetishizing. But somehow I'm the one getting blocked by half the fandom when I'm not even pointing everything I want out. I lose at least one mutual every time I even suggest maybe we should look at things a bit more critically. I have to sit here and justify things to an insane degree while people's reaction to any of the criticism is "uH BuT T Is hOt aNd hE Is a gUy sO It iS DiFfErEnT oKaY?" Critical thinking skills went out the window because now there's a guy involved and that's fucking weird. People are straight up erasing Eddie, the actual main character of the show, Buck's established partner of years, Buck's best friend, the only person in canon who never left Buck in any capacity, because some guy kissed Buck and, he, uh *check notes* treats Buck as an actual human being? so that means he's perfect. It's nuts. The bar is hell.
Yes, I know this is not everyone in the fandom and I know this is not everyone who ships them but if what I'm saying feels like a personal attack to you maybe you should do some thinking. Anyone can ship anything, you want to ship them go off, power to you, the weird part here is the way some people are demanding other people ship it too. We could all be coexisting if people didn't get weirdly comfortable demanding shit from other people in the fandom and deciding their opinion is the only one that matters so they need to call out anyone who thinks differently, but alas, that's too much to ask.
#i went off on this one sorry#kalaakapakaoakoaa#cant wait to get blocked by more people#anyway#i guess im really done being civil#unhinged anna is being unhinger#anti bucktommy#911#i really need a tag for asks#anon 😌
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Rain to his Fire (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon 80s Au) (18+)
Read chapter 2 here // Series Masterlist
Chapter 3
Summary: You found yourself caught up in the mystery surrounding the patient in room 393.
Warning: 18+, discussion of mental health (it's a fic based in a mental health facility), mention of physical assault, the fic would contain several mentions of several disorders like mpd, did etc, if something triggers you don't read, smoking.
Note : Daemon has the same length of hair in this fic
You couldn't really tell what you were feeling. You felt angry but then you denied to yourself that you felt angry because why would you be angry? He wasn't your boyfriend and he was allowed to kiss and fuck whoever he wanted. But then he wasn't allowed to do those things because he was a patient and that was against the rules, yes that's why you were angry. You were angry because he broke the rules. That's all.
“Ummm how did she get caught..what happened?” You asked Mona, prying for the details of the encounter between Daemon and Shyla so she rolled her eyes,
“You know how she gets, Dr. Vis caught her in his room giving him a handjob or something” your face contorted into disgust as you heard that.
Did you really believe you were the only woman around here he was sweet talking to? Nuhuh, not with that face.
“So she's fired for real? They're not going to let her off the hook with a warning?” You asked her so she crossed her arms in response, firing her seemed unnecessary especially when there was a shortage of staff and you didn't think the act between them was non consensual, Shyla was a free spirited woman and Daemon definitely seemed the type to sleep his way around town.
“I don't know, she's in his office right now and he'll decide her fate but we all know how strict he is”
You nodded as she said that before you grabbed your cart to resume your duty for the day. You didn't want to think about it, it was none of your business. You started from room 390 and made way to 393, all while maintaining a calm and composed demeanor, masking any underlying feelings that you may have had about the situation, you knew you had to stay calm and pretend as if this thing between Daemon and Shyla hadn't affected you in the slightest which it hadn't.
As you stepped inside his room with your cart dragging in front of you, from your peripheral vision you could see that he was sprawled out on the bed, of course he didn't have clothes on. He was stretched out comfortably, with his hands resting under his head, exposing his bare chest and other things to the view of anyone who entered the room.
“Put your clothes on or I'd have to report you” you mumbled sternly as you looked around the room, it was unfathomably dirty, it hadn't been cleaned in a week because you weren't allowed to do so during his isolation. You couldn't help but wonder if this stunt he had pulled will finally lend him to the lone ward..
“Report me, see if I care” you heard his smug voice and your jaw clenched but you didn't want to feed into his attitude. You knew that if you were to succumb to the temptation of getting dragged into a verbal spat, it would only lead to further revelation of the annoyance you felt regarding this situation.
Daemon was not oblivious to the fact that you were feeling irritated, you must have heard about him and the woman he didn't even know the name of. He saw that your mood had shifted, and he reveled in the feeling of having the power to affect you emotionally because he was affected by you as well. But then he also didn't want to make you uncomfortable so he got up and pulled his pants on,
As he got up, you approached the bed and went through the routine process of pulling back the sheets, only to notice that something had fallen to the floor in the process. Curious to see what it was, you went down to take a closer look and discovered a feather that caught your attention. It was bigger than your palm, a striking shade of black, with intricate patterns and streaks weaving through the feather,
“Where did you get this from?” You asked him as you finally made eye contact with him but instead of answering you with words he grabbed the feather from between your fingers and crumpled between his palm to throw it away.
“You should go down, it's almost lunch time” you told him sternly “and take a shower, you reek” you glared at him and he couldn't help but chuckle. You had been putting up with his antics for far too long, and it was evident that your patience was wearing thin.
“I don't think so” he mumbled as he approached you and the closer he got the more nervous you became, he didn't actually stink, he smelled really good, woody and earthy, like mahogany.
As Daemon placed his nose dangerously close to the crook of your neck to take a sniff, you immediately pushed him away with a sense of urgency, pressing your hands firmly against his shoulders in an attempt to create some distance between the two of you. However, despite your best efforts he didn't even budge an inch, he was strong, very strong.
“You're going to start your cycle in an hour or so” he mumbled as he stepped away and you looked at him all perplexed. He was good at messing with you, but how did he know you were closer to your date? His ability to predict such an intimate detail made you feel vulnerable and exposed,
“What do you use? Definitely not a tampon considering you're an untouched maiden” he whispered in your ear and your ears felt hot with anger you were feeling at the moment. Why did he enjoy riling you up like this?
“You're pathetic you know, whatever happens to you today, you will deserve it”
His smirk disappeared as he heard your venomous words but before you could feel any sort of pity for him you walked past him, grabbed your cart and got the fuck out of his room.
As you walked away, a sense of shame washed over you. You knew that your behavior had been unprofessional and that you had allowed your emotions to get the better of you. You also knew that allowing a patient to affect you in such a manner was unacceptable, and that you had to learn to maintain your composure.
You went to your supervisor Mona and informed her that you were feeling lightheaded all of a sudden and room 393 was left uncleaned. Luckily for you she didn't pry or ask many questions and you were grateful for that.
About half an hour later you sat down on the toilet to stick a pad into your underwear as you felt the familiar churning in your stomach. How did he know? Even if he was messing with you, the timing of his statement seemed almost eerie, as if he had some sort of supernatural insight into your bodily functions.
You couldn't afford the privilege of resting so you popped two painkillers at once and stepped out of your room to grab lunch. As you entered the canteen, you were surprised to see Shyla there. So she didn't get fired huh? You assumed so because she had her work uniform on.
“Shyla? Are you alright?” You asked her and she immediately broke down in tears which left you feeling concerned. As you got closer, you noticed the marks on her neck and it worried you.
“I'm fine I'm fine..” she mumbled between her tears so you caressed her shoulder to comfort her. Despite her words, she didn't seem fine at all. What had transpired in Dr. Vis’s office and how come he hadn't canned her after she was caught fondling a patient?
Later in the day, Dr. Vis called for a meeting and summoned all female employees, including Dr. Lisa, to attend. As you walked into the meeting room, you saw Shyla standing next to Dr. Vis, she looked embarrassed, nervous but also terrified..
“Look at this girl, look at the suffering she has endured because she couldn't suppress her curiosity” Dr. Vis stood before the group, his eyes fixed on Shyla as he spoke. The mark on her neck seemed much darker now, making it apparent even from a distance now.
“Who did this to you child? Tell them” Dr. Vis asked Shyla and you could see her shaking with fear.
“Daemon– the new patient..he did this”
Your eyes widened as she revealed that. That couldn't be right? You knew he was unpredictable with his behavior but you couldn't see him hurting anyone like that but then you had known him for two weeks and he was a patient. A part of you didn't want to believe her words though, it left you feeling confused.
“Take this as a lesson, do not interact with him when you're on your respective duties. Isolation may be the best way to handle him, and his ego must not be fed. Shyla's actions have shown us that his aggression is only fueled by the attention he receives. Shyla here has been a good employee so I'm granting her one more chance but consider this is an official warning, anyone who disregards my instructions will be met with severe consequences” Everyone in the room nodded in understanding, fully aware of the gravity of Dr. Vis's words.
“Go on now, do your jobs” Dr. Vis asked the group so everyone turned around to leave. Except you.
“Why is he free to roam around if he's so dangerous?”
You knew you should have stayed quiet, you knew you shouldn't have intervened for your own good but you couldn't help yourself.
“Oh dear, are you questioning my authority and my treatment plan for the patient?” He asked smugly so you shook your head in response. You didn't want to piss him off and you definitely didn't want to be on his radar.
“No I'm just.. worried about my safety, I'm assigned to his room so I just-”
“You come to me if you feel threatened by him all right?” He told you sternly so you nodded and didn't stretch the conversation.
As you all stepped out of the room you noticed that Shyla hadn't joined the group. You couldn't help but wonder what Dr. Vis was saying to her in private, and if Daemon truly did hurt her the way she claimed. A part of you found it difficult to believe that he was capable of such a thing but that day in his room he had told you something about losing control. What did he mean? You had a plethora of questions and none of the answers..
During tea time you watched him sitting in the corner of the room all alone, you noticed how nobody was even looking his way, not even the patients, perhaps Dr. Vis had a separate meeting with them as well where he had asked them to not interact with him.
Dina gave you a tray of snacks and tea so you looked at her confused,
“You go give this to him..he scares me, he should be in an asylum and not here”
You gulped as she said that so you walked towards his table and placed the tray down. His eyes met with yours and he seemed so utterly sad that your heart clenched immediately for him. Keeping your anger aside, all you wanted to do was hug him so he wouldn't look so sad.
“Have your tea, dinner will be served late tonight” you spoke to him so he nodded, you had to maintain distance from him like you had done with all patients before but something kept pulling you towards him.
Maybe it was his unique charisma, or perhaps his eyes with their intense gaze. You couldn't quite put your finger on it, but there was an aura of intrigue surrounding him that you couldn't ignore. Despite your best efforts to maintain your professionalism, you found yourself drawn to him like a moth to a flame, a sense of mystery surrounded him and you wanted to figure him out, you wanted to read him like a book, find out everything he was hiding between those pages.
The next morning when you woke up you found a feather lying near your door that someone must have slipped in from the outside and there was a note as well
“I'm sorry :( ”
That's all it said on the note and it made you smile. Where did he get these feathers from you wondered?
As you wheeled your cart in his room you found him on the bed reading.
He didn't say anything to you but as you approached the bedside drawer to clean it, you felt his eyes on you.
“I'm sorry for what I said yesterday, it was out of line and insensitive” you mumbled softly so he brought his hand forward and grabbed your hand.
The sudden touch surprised you, and you froze for a second, unsure of how to react.
“I deserved it”
You were surprised by the soft tone of his voice, perhaps he was truly apologetic, perhaps he cared a bit as well.
“Why did you hurt her like that?” You asked him as you turned to him finally to gaze into his eyes but your question only caused him confusion..
“What?” he asked
“Shyla” you responded, making his confusion grow.
“What are you talking about?”
“What happened here yesterday between you and her?” He looked away as you questioned him as if he was ashamed.
“I heard a knock on my door, at first i thought it was you” he mumbled so you looked away. Why would you go see him first thing in the morning as if he was your lover? You would never.
“I didn't even know who she was, next thing I know she had her hands all over my cock so I -” you crossed your arms as he said that “I'm a man being deprived of sexual release..what I was supposed to do?”
You bit on your cheeks as he said all that so unabashedly, you could never be so forward about the matters of sex as he was.
“That is all that happened?” You asked him so he sighed.
“I didn't even get to finish, the cunt doctor stormed in and took her away”
You looked him in the eye for a hint of lie or deceit but he seemed genuine and you didn't know who to believe anymore. Why would Shyla lie though? Why would she tell Dr. Vis that he had attacked her? To save her job? Perhaps that could have been a possibility.
“Why don't you use your own capable hands the next time? She could have gotten fired-”
“I didn't invite her. She came onto me and you think I was thinking with my brain at the time?” he asked you with furrowed brows and scowl apparent on his face.
“You should.. especially around here where you are a patient admitted for mental instability, i don't know what's going on here but you need to be careful”
He looked at you confused as you said that but you didn't have time to clear his confusion, you resumed your work before it would get suspicious.
“What kind of bird is that?” You asked him after a while so he gave you a smile.
“What bird?”
“The feathers”
“It's not a bird, it's me, it's from my wings” you sighed as he said that. Every time he said something like that, you were instantly transported back to reality where he was a man who believed that he had the ability to turn into a dragon.
“Okay sure it's yours, ”
“Smile” he mumbled softly so you looked at him.
“What?”
“Please smile, i feel better when you're smiling” your face flushed as he said that and your mouth curved into a smile on its own.
Didn't even have to force it.
Later that night as you laid in bed, you felt confused out of your mind, how did he know you were going to bleed? That was such a random and wild guess, not to mention something very inappropriate to say to a woman he didn't know that well.
You heard a knock on your door so you sat up on the bed, in last two years the only time you had been awakened from the sleep was when a patient was out of control so you were already assuming the worst, but as you finally opened the door, standing in front of you was Daemon, looking as calm and relaxed as ever. For a moment, you were lost for words, wondering why he had come to see you in the middle of the night and that's when you began to freak out.
You'd lose your job if you were caught with him at such late hours.
“What the fuck are you doing?” You asked him as you peaked your head out the door and looked around to see if someone had followed him, when you didn't see anyone you grabbed his arm to usher him inside, closed the door and then you shoved him against it, this was the first time you had truly observed how tall he was as compared to you, you had to crane your neck up to have a conversation with him.
“What are you doing?” You asked him worriedly, why was he so adamant on being sent to the lone ward? He didn't answer you as you questioned him but he suddenly swept you off your feet and flipped you around until you were cornered against the door. His hands wrapped around your waist, trapping you in his embrace, and you could feel the heat of his body against yours.
You couldn't comprehend how he could have such a high body temperature if he wasn't sick. As he placed his nose between the crook of your neck to sniff you like an animal again you tensed up, your instinct told you to fight him, to push him away, but something in his touch made you hesitate. He wasn't hurting you, he has never hurt you physically,
“It calms me down” he mumbled as he pressed a kiss on the side of your neck before he pulled away, the look of confusion visible on your face.
“What?”
“This..your scent, it calms me down”
His fingers curled around hair and you stifled the moan that was threatening to spill out of your throat.
“You need to leave, please, this is not safe for you, it's not good for you” your voice came out in hushed whispers and it only turned him on further,
“Safe for me?” He snickered, “Silly girl, didn't you witness what I did to that poor servant?”
You looked him in the eye as his hand wrapped around your throat, a part of you felt terrified of him but another stayed calm, there was something about him that made it so easy for you to believe that he won't harm you.
“Did you do it?” You asked him so he grabbed your chin between his thumb and forefingers.
“What do you think huh?”
“You don't hurt me, why would you hurt a girl for pleasuring you?” you asked him as you built the courage to place your arm on his shoulders, your thumb ran over his collarbone and you could see his breath wavering at the touch.
“Because I'm unstable and unpredictable” he smirked as he noticed your lips trembling slightly, it didn't bother him that perhaps he terrified you a little, you would have been screaming your lungs out if you were actually scared of him.
“You didn't believe him did you? His lies” he asked you so you gave him a small smile,
“So he was lying?”
“You'd believe my words against his? A patient's word as opposed to a doctor's?” he asked you curiously,
“I know i shouldn't”
As Daemon stepped away from you, your eyes were drawn to the chiseled muscles beneath his skin. The sight was almost mesmerizing, and for a moment you found yourself caught up in his physical attractiveness. But you snapped out of it quickly, your senses on high alert as his hand reached into his pocket, extracting something you couldn't see from this distance. When he stepped back toward you with a feather in hand, your heart raced,
He placed one of his arms over your head while he used the feather with another to caress your cheeks, you closed your eyes again as your breath shuddered like a wave, you had never been touched this way, never been made to feel this way,
The sensation of being touched in such a way was completely new to you, and you found yourself wondering if this was what romance was supposed to feel like.
Were you supposed to feel so scared but so aroused at the same time?
As the feather brushed over your lips, the scent of mahogany filled your senses and this time you didn't care about stifling your moan. It smelled like him, the feather smelled like him, he slowly trailed down the feather from your chin to your neck. The nightie you had on gave him enough exposure to your skin to play around with.
You were so easily ruffled, he thought, never been touched, never been pleasured, never allowed a man to touch you like this and the knowledge brought him a great deal of satisfaction but also a strong feeling of protectiveness.
The realization that you had never experienced such intimacy before filled him with a sense of accomplishment, but at the same time, a need to shield you from the cruelties of the world. He knew that he had the power to influence you, to make you feel things that you never thought possible, but he also knew that he must use that power wisely. He felt responsible for you.
When he lowered the feather into your palm, you looked up at him, your eyes hazy with desire. A sense of confusion swept over you, wondering what he expected you to do with the feather.
“Good night” he mumbled softly even though you were frozen in your spot , still reeling into his touch, but then you collected yourself and stepped away from the door so he could leave. He had to before he got caught.
You closed and locked the door immediately as he was gone and then you stood there right against the door to calm down. Your mind still not believing the encounter, knees still felt wobbly, his touch was still afresh on your skin, it reminded you of the dream you had.
Once you were finally broken out of the trance you looked down at the feather properly and your eyes widened in surprise.
It was soft to the touch but it was the shade of the feather that piqued your curiosity all over again. It only intensified the mystery he had surrounding him and it pulled you deeper into his charm.
"Who are you?" You mumbled under your breath as you inspected the feather. It was the same shade of silver as his hair.
🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Taglist
@anukulee @ammo23 @littledark11 @stupidthoughtsinwriting
@daenny-t
#daemon targaryen x female reader#daemon targaryen#daemon targaryen x reader smut#daemon targaryen x reader fluff#non canon au#modern daemon targaryen#daemon targaryen x reader angst#modern day au
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hiii idk if uve ever talked about this trope or if its an established thing BUT ive been thinking about post nwh peter becoming an emt for weeks now and i want to hear your thoughts on it
like i think it would make so much sense you know? if nobody remembers him and all he HAS is spider-man. wouldn’t he want to maximize the amount of people he helps??? especially if he needs a way to make money???idk i hope this was coherent and would love to hear what u think
So we are going to breifly take a vacation from canon and we will live in a world in which post-NWH Peter has the necessary paperwork to work as an EMT.
HELL YEAH! so i think post-nwh peter will be desperate for human connection. He will want SO badly to help people, and for the people he helps to KNOW him. I believe he will quickly realize that the only way he was able to stay masked as Spider-Man before NWH was because there were people who knew him and cared about him outside the mask. Being absolutely anonymous in your most difficult moments is tough, but made easier when you go home to people who recognize you and your experience, even if they don't know what you just went through.
After NWH, Peter won't have anyone to go home to and keep him grounded after his hardest patrols. His only recognizable identity will be his most traumatic one, and he will not be recognized unless it is by the name who has no identity outside of his nightmare fuel. It'll be like if everyone around you, all the time, looked at you and only saw the events that haunt you. Theres no publicly known "everyday life" for Spider-Man. Nobody knows what music he listens to, what time he goes to bed, his fav foods, his friends... nobody knows details about his life outside the details revealed when he isnt the most important being there, people only knows details revealed when he's a secondary character focused on helping whatever primary character needs help.
He's going to want to form an identity.
He's going to want to be a primary character at some point.
So. I think he would want to have a job in which he helps people, and works with others who help people. EMT is a great example: he gets to help people, he gets to use some of his powers (discreetly), but he also gets to be known. He would have co-workers who care about him, who care about his fav color and his birthday. He would have co-workers and patients who care about HIS being, as well as the person he's saving.
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Hello! Been reading your twilight posts recentlt and was wondering what you think might have happened if James had killed Emmett in the ballet studio, particularly how it would have affected Rosalie/her dynamic with the Cullens?
Bella feels horribly guilty to learn that her stupid plan to save her mother (who had not been kidnapped) as well as the fact that she drew James's attention in the first place (which would not have happened had she not intruded in the Cullen's world where she feels she doesn't belong) got someone killed. Not just someone, either, but one of the Cullens, Edward's beloved brother, and Emmett who seemed so nice for all she didn't know him that well.
Bella is devastated and feels increadibly guilty and horrible.
This is made worse by Rosalie's (understandable if not ideal) reaction where I imagine she blames Bella to her face. This never would have happened if Bella had not been involved in their lives, not come to that baseball game, or if they hadn't saved her from that stupid van/killed her the night after like Rosalie wanted to. Rosalie feels as if she's traded Emmett for Bella and she hates that.
Edward of course blames Rosalie for having the worst reaction possible and actively driving Bella into a depression.
I imagine Rosalie leaves, Edward clearly isn't leaving Bella (as I imagine he'd want to hold on a little longer/this wouldn't be the New Moon wakeup call for him) and she wants time on her own to grieve/not get into fights with Edward over whose fault it is that Emmett died. No doubt Rosalie also blames the family somewhat as if they had sided with her and chosen not to protect Bella, Emmett would be alive. It's understandable why they wanted to protect Bella but it also was dangerous and risked someone dying for what. Rosalie needs some time to process alone.
Bella now feels she's driven Rosalie out of the family, this makes her guilt even worse.
I imagine Bella actively tries to avoid the Cullen household that summer (unlike canon) as being there reminds Bella of what happened/she believes it reminds the Cullens of what happened...
Honestly, I think Bella dumps Edward. She tries to hang on to him but as the weeks go by and his family is clearly falling apart, and it's all her fault, and he's sitting there being so sweet when she just effectively murdered his brother...
I don't think Bella could do it, it'd be too much and she'd double down on "Edward deserves better than me". Especially when she can justify that Edward can't read her thoughts, he's clearly too good to ever blame her when she deserves it, and she can say to herself "Edward doesn't realize how awful of a person I am."
So, Bella breaks up with him so that he can have someone better, his family can move, and they can heal. Edward is shocked and horrified but in the midst of his despair and depression remembers that this was what he wanted, he wanted to leave Bella eventually and her doing it versus him might be better. So, Edward leaves immediately and steals all her pictures/every gift he ever gave her.
Bella sinks into her New Moon depression immediately (made worse by Emmett's death and the fact that Bella did this herself and now is weak for wanting to take back her decision and oh god she's the worst person on the planet).
The Hallucination Edward times are even more fraught as Bella feels doubly guilty in that she shouldn't want to summon Edward and yet she can't live without him. I imagine this results in even riskier behavior as Bella genuinely thinks she should die and gets closer and closer to actively wanting it.
Bella probably succeeds in killing herself.
(The Jacob thing here... I don't know if he could help because the thing is Bella despises herself so much/feels so guilty and Jacob has no context for understanding this even if he becomes a wolf (added that Bella now is responsible for people dying because Victoria is actively hunting her) that I don't think Bella can use her friendship with him to claw her way out of depression.
He'd probably just make her feel worse given he shifted because of Victoria which is because of her and have we mentioned Emmett is dead?)
I imagine Alice does not tell Rosalie in part because Rosalie's not near her when it happens also because... well... bad history and Alice blames Rosalie for this mess.
This means no one tells Edward.
Edward's suicide is thus put off for as long as he feels he can live without Bella. When he breaks and goes to check on her, he discovers she's died and goes to Volterra to kill himself where no one is able to stop him from breaking the law.
#twilight#twilight meta#twilight headcanon#twilight renaissance#bella swan#edward cullen#rosalie hale#emmett cullen#meta#headcanon#opinion#gen-kenobi
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Super Sankta 2 Exu sounds like an excellent idea Zerav. For maximum meme, she's a John Wick style Guard- just uses guns to bash in people's skulls.
Super Sankta 2 Exu whose going John Wick style on people is funny but my concept for Exia Alter was always based on like, the concept that Skadi Alter first introduced that we all thought at the time was gonna be the standard fare for alters
My Ultimate Sankta vs Exia 3 concept was based around the idea of a "Bad End" Exia the way Skadi Alter is, where Exia would be further mechanized ala Executor and become an emotionless seraphim-type unit who would essentially be the ultimate Sankta weapon. This would happen as the result of Laterano having some kind of big event that would cause them to pull all remaining Sankta from all corners of Terra for their promised day of ascension where they would leave Terra and all its problems behind, with certain Sankta (Like Exia) essentially being the vanguards and protectors of these people (I essentially just took the idea of the Rapture and assigned it to the Sankta), with the event concept in question being Penguin Logistics invading this holy land to save their girl.
So like. you can imagine how hard ive been popping off with all the new lore reveals we've gotten over the past 2 years. That said, this concept is a little outdated, and just leaving it at that would be no fun
So here's my pitch for how Exia Alter 4: The Quest For Peace would go with modern foresight (added read more because reasons)
The Popes basement computer in Zwillingsturme just let out a directive that they need to gather their best Sankta to fight against the end of the world. This is in conjunction with the last few events squarely tying together Iberia's Seaborn plotline with both Laterano and Siracusa and their dividing faiths. Now, all of this is in conjunction with the hints we've been getting that Penguin Logistics is going to split up (Lappland and Mostima have already flown the coop, and currently the rest are in Siracusa helping Texas the Amogus, but that will likely not last especially bc Exia's own anniversary line all but majorly hints at this split happening because they all got different stuff going on)
If Penguin Logistics splits, Exia will well and truly be left without a support system.
Now, Exia has always been kind of off as far as Sankta go, because for all intents and purposes she shouldn't be out of place: We see just how Sankta tend to act in Guide Ahead, and Exia didn't really seem all that different. Yet, when we look at her history and actions (she was basically kicked out, she was super accident prone which made other Sankta hate her, as part of Penguin Logistics shes constantly drunk, Texas herself says that Exia being an optimist makes her different, etc), she's actually Really different.
Almost like she has an abnormality compared to other Sankta. Me and a few others (check out @annierosaart post here) have speculated on her being different, but we also don't really know WHY: Even if she was suddenly disconnected from the Sankta empathy powers, we don't see any indication of how, and unlike Ezell we don't have any sort of 'wake-up' moment for her.
But given the weirdness about her and her lines, I think I know what the exact nature of her abnormality may be (and heres my pitch) when looking at the most relevant characters who have abnormalities, namely Executor and Arturia, because I think she falls in line with them (shameless plug to my old exia/executor buddies post):
Executor's abnormality is that his emotions are incredibly muted compared to others. He isn't heartless or emotionless, but more that his heart and mind runs on rationale and logic first and foremost, which almost disqualified him from being canonized had he also not been Laternos single most competent man because saint fedex is entirely disconnected from caring about petty things like being racist.
Arturia's abnormality is that she is receptively empathetic to the point she has nothing within her. She can remove the inhibitions of people, and this is in service to understanding them, because she lacks an understanding of herself: She has a grand dream of an empathy for the world even beyond the Sankta Empathy power, and to accomplish this she draws out the emotions that people hide. As a result, she reflects the emotions of others within herself and thus is incredibly empathetic to the point she's also lacking in emotions and a self.
Exia? I think that her abnormality is that she's too emotional, that the emotions she feels are far more amplified compared to others.
I believe this for a couple of reasons: All the weirdness surrounding her aside, whats the one thing that's always defined Exia? Her Rapid Casting EX. It's always been memed about, but simply firing a single bullet from a gun is akin to casting an Arts attack, with guns serving as a type of wand in these cases. Exia is the only character within the series whose been noted to be so fast with her arts and casting.
This post here does a phenomenal job expanding on this point, but Arts are an expression of the soul, they're influenced by emotions and become stronger with them because they are ultimately expressions of the self, which all characters in and of themselves having a "unique" arts inherent to them. Hell, all of Leithaniens arts are based around using musical expression, while Sarkaz are noted for their arts based on souls and memory, with the literal main heroine of Arknights having an empathy based arts superpower.
Exia, having Super Emotion as her Sankta halo abnormality, could explain why shes so good at gun, even without Oripathy, because said emotions are boosting her casting ability. Remember, anyone can use originum arts, it's just that oripathy is needed for them to be able to do it without a casting device.
This heightened emotion could also possibly explain her crush on Mostima, and even why Mostima is so weird/cruel about her: Mostima was simply a childhood friend alongside her and her sister, and yet when she left for Lungmen, Exia was hot on her trails and then waited 4 YEARS to be beside her and meet her again. She joined Penguin Logistics specifically because of Mostima. It's incredibly likely that Exia might have just had a small crush on her that then spiraled heavily because of this, and Mostima (with her chronic backstory-itis letting her find out that the whole Sankta and halo thing is a scam from her op files and events) might even be aware of this aspect of Exia, and may have wanted her to get over it, always leaving to try and make Exia move on but also always coming back because she needs to look after Exia. After all, if Exia had heightened extreme emotions, what are the chances she could die of grief? She already gets drunks regularly, and despite being cheerful and optimistic, Exia is wearing a mask hiding an incredibly depressed individual.
It could also be possible that the reason why Exia never noticed this is because while it doesn't let other Sankta feel her emotions, she can still feel that of others. She's always confused as to why back in Laterano people always accused her of being disingenuous, because can't they feel her emotions? Well, if she has Super Emotions, it could potentially be overloading her halo, so while she can receive signals, they can't be felt by others. Moreover, this mechanical aspect blends in well with her E2 art, where she is the single operator in the game without an animal/living motiff
Even other Sankta have birds and/or human statues and robotic elements (funnily enough, Executor Sniper only has crosses but even then he is clearly being themed as specifically an angel), but Exia? She has her guns, becoming wings as a ring forms with them. She's literally ascending while her wings become darker.
So what does all this mean?
Well, the Pope's basement bonzi buddy just sent out a directive for the Pope to gather the best Sankta to fight against the end of the world, and who else to recruit but a vulnerable, lonely Sankta who was kicked out for being TOO destructive? Exia's profile does make mention that despite appearances, she is also incredibly pious just like other Sankta, and if the Pope himself came knocking, wanting to give Exia a place back in Laterano, and in a high ranking, respected position no less?
She would jump at the chance, not only to be beside her sister (and possibly Mostima), but also to be accepted back into Laterano society.
Executors own halo has a mechanized element to it, where he also gains more parts to it when he goes from normalest man to saint fedex, so he likely underwent some kind of modification to go along with his promotion, especially because he also now carries an Nier Automata companion cube with him straight from the machine
If Exia is to be canonized, she might be adjusted in a similar way by The Law.
She might even be fully altered into becoming Laterano's perfect weapon to fight against the end of the world. The Witch King himself describes this approaching threat as a void of infinite knowledge which seeks to eliminate them, an unshakeable truth of existence that drives people insane.
The Creator must perish.
What better weapon to fight against such a thing than one who feels her own emotions so strongly she cannot be swayed? Or better yet, an equally as unshakeable, emotionless machine?
#forgive this humble blogger for the late reply he had simply forgor#zerav meta#arknights#this post became waaaaaaaaaay longer than intended but IM LETTIN IT ALL OUT
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Greetings, I really want to know your opinion about this topic I saw. Something about metrics, so my friend was saying there's is a shift big enough in the fandom favorite characters because the buck/tommy ship is the most popular pairing now than buddie is and abc was waiting to see the fans reaction to decide the future story of buddie and the possiblity of buck tommy is bigger now. Are tv studios really measuring this data? I knew they did this with ratings but not this, how exactly fans get this kinda info and statistics? And shows like this one usually listen to the audience this way? I just thought it was interesting but don't know if is true.
If networks only went by what fans trend then buddie would've gone canon back in season 2b/3. That's when they had their first big surge in numbers like right now. Buddie was so popular it was beating out seasoned pairings like Destiel!
And yet...the networks did what they wanted and buddie stayed just platonic friends. Regardless of how popular and profitable buddie was/is.
And I don't believe bucktommy is more popular than buddie. There's a surge in popularity, yes, because they're brand new and Buck is confirmed queer for the first time, so of course there's gonna be a lot of new and excited eyes on it. It's the shiny new thing everyone's curious about. They're almost ENTIRELY a blank slate that people can project all of their desires for a canon pairing to have. It's far easier to trust a pairing that has two confirmed queer characters than it is to hope that the show will do the same for Eddie. There's a lot of factors that go into it, that make it seem like bucktommy would suddenly be the new fan favorite, but you also gotta keep in mind....it's only been a month. It's still fresh in people's heads. Buddie has survived seven years. It all goes down to infatuation vs. love. A crush vs. commitment. You'll see.
And yes, some cynical buddie people or people who just want Buck to get with a guy period and don't care about a love story will jump ship easily. But they are NOT the majority. They're just being super loud right now (which makes sense again it's huge news!) so it FEELS like there's a lot of them.
Myth: eVeRyOnE'S jUmPiNg sHiP to bUCktOmmY
Reality: Most bucktommy shippers are also buddie shippers and are just enjoying a new cute ship while it lasts and multi-shippers are allowed to exist. Just because one ships something doesn't always mean they want it to happen in canon. Two things can exist at the same time.
I've said it before, I'll say it again: I don't think they would've taken the leap to make Buck queer in the first place if they weren't AT LEAST strongly (and I mean strongly) leaning towards making buddie canon down the line. Majority of fans are going to EXPECT it now, and as Tim said, he tries not to let fans dictate what happens in the story, but he IS aware of what fans want. If he's making a decision like this, he is committing to being hounded literally non-stop about buddie until they actually become canon. I don't think he would do that unless that was the end goal, even if it's not for another x amount of seasons.
Yes, networks do keep track of fan metrics because it directly correlates to views which earns them money. BUT just because they know something is popular RIGHT NOW doesn't mean they're gonna just jump and immediately do it or scrap other plans. Especially when those other plans might be something that earns them MORE money down the line. I've talked extensively already about how buddie would be extremely profitable (more profitable than bucktommy sorry).
Fact of the matter is Tim and Co. know how loyal and dedicated most of the buddie fans are. They know they can weather any storm and still come out of it annoying as hell badgering them for the same thing.
Finally, despite Tim Minears many many flaws, I do have faith in him as a writer that he at least TRIES to do right by these characters. He's flawed, he has bosses that he has to adhere to. The same goes for the Kristen Riedel seasons as well. BUT, I think that Tim knows his characters well, and at least has SOME kind of vision of where they need to end up. I trust that Tim is going to be true to his word and is not going to let fandom trends dictate where he takes his story. I hope Tim knows what he wants, and with the approval of the networks, does it.
Edit: You can also think of the Bucktommy vs. Buddie popularity like Spotify monthly listeners. Just because a new popular artist with a trending song suddenly has more monthly listeners than someone established, like say Beyonce, doesn't necessarily mean this new artist is more popular than Beyonce or has more dedicated fans than Beyonce, it just means that person is the hot new thing and is trending so they have more listeners than Beyonce AT THE MOMENT, but not long term. Does that make sense?
#911 abc#buddie#bucktommy#discourse#I almost wasn't gonna answer this but I did#I don't really wanna answer more like this#I don't have any more insider knowledge than y'all do
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Matrixbearer's Ranting Time:
Referenced Post is here. Fair word of warning- the original post does have a fair share of mature themes. But you don't have to read it to get context since I do explain anyway.
Just a gentle reminder for the ladies, gentlemen and everybody in between- but please please for the love of god be careful about how you word your reposts.
I want to give @claudethecrabdemoness the benefit of the doubt and say they had well meaning intention thinking that @bindeds wrote a drabble that was very oc x canon coded which they really enjoyed. But please pay attention to how things were worded in their tags.
"Not my writing but it might as well be."
Excuse me my dear but that is genuinely quite an entitled thing to say! How unbecoming of you to go ahead and so blatantly undermine another creator's efforts! It isn't your writing and please highlight that fact instead of trying to pass off someone else's work as your own.
This isn't me being protective of Beck, I just hate hate hate content thieves and liars. We appreciate the reblogs guys, especially when it gives us more exposure; but not when you try and brush off that we created for you all to appreciate simply because you want the credit to a similar idea you have.
A gentle reminder that it actually takes our time, energy and effort to post things for you all to enjoy. We don't even know if you enjoy it as much as we do but we shoot it out anyway with the hope that you will. So please, please be considerate enough next time to not do this.
As writers and creators it hurts to see this, especially when there's such an obvious disregard for the effort and time we've put into honing our craft just for someone to go: "I like this! It's mine now!" That's not how the world works hun. Grow up.
Lastly, please don't go and attack the person who did this. I just wanted to make my stance and opinion clear on the matter as a fellow writer and friend. Again, they possibly mean well or the words carried the wrong intention- which is why I'll say it again.
Be careful about what you post online, how you word your posts, and who you affect. Anonymity and social media presence can often make us forget that there are in fact other people who we make happy or sad depending on what we do on here. So be mindful, be kind, and be considerate. We just want to all have fun here like you do.
#Okay I'm fucking tired.#Nawalan talaga ako ng gana dahil dito guys.#I always feared this would happen to my series btw#And I'm glad it never did which I'm thankful for#Hell I'm extremely thankful to the people who support me that you all have never done this even to the offshoot drabbles I write-#and you all appreciate my work anyway in sometimes very entertaining ways#but to see it happen to others is a genuine reality check that this problem was always and possibly will forever be there.#please spread the message about this guys#just so we can be aware and foster a happier community#and that people won't be deterred from sharing their created content soley because they fear it being taken/stolen#x reader#hazbinhotel#hazbin#hazbin fandom#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel 2024#hazbin hotel fandom#hazbin hotel imagine#hazbin vox x reader#hazbin vox#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel vox x reader
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can I ask why you ship dazai x fyodor? just curious! I feel like not a lot of people do
Hi, anon! Not enough people ship fyozai, that's for sure :/
Why do I ship them? Because of this:
And this:
And this:
And they're canon, actually:
And just, like, whatever they had going on in Dead Apple:
They are just so interesting together. I went into depth on my view of the two of them in this post (an older post now, but it still sums it up pretty well), but it really comes down to how fascinating it is how their characters play off of one another. They are the perfect enemies-to-lovers ship, if you ask me.
They can predict what moves the other one will make and they can predict that the other one will predict that they’re predicting each other, and they can predict that the other one will predict that the other one will predict - on and on into infinity sdfghjghj (although according to the anime Fyodor couldn't predict that Dazai would stick Chuuya in a Halloween costume...but I'm not going to rant about The Season Finale That Shall Not Be Acknowledged here). They're ridiculous. Completely and utterly ridiculous. They play mental chess together.
THEY HAVE THEIR OWN SECRET LANGUAGE.
THEY ARE SOULMATES.
I love their dynamic and how they stand opposed to each other. It's not that one of them is "good" and the other is "evil." Dazai is not good. Fyodor believes that humanity is sinful and foolish. Dazai does not disagree with him. He does not think humanity is good or that the world is a good place. Dazai is amoral; he is not Kunikida, an idealist pursuing justice, and he is not kind-hearted Atsushi.
Really the difference between Dazai and Fyodor is their opposing views of how the world works and should work. Fyodor wants order, perfect justice. Dazai does not believe such a thing exists. It's not that Dazai has hope where Fyodor does not; it's just that Dazai has accepted the world for all its darkness, and Fyodor has not.
And Fyodor does not believe there is any value to life. Dazai is starting to believe there is.
That's such an interesting and multilayered conflict that could be explored in so many different ways...especially if you do what I do and headcanon a redemption arc for Fyodor, haha. They are a lot of fun to write fics of! 😆
Two superhuman geniuses that are so evenly matched they could rule the world together if they wanted. What's not to love about that? I absolutely adore them 😌💖💖
Honestly, I've been a lot more into fyosig lately (talk about a rarepair SDFGHFGH), but fyozai is still my main otp. It's a shame more people don't ship them! I just think they're neat (´꒳`)♡
Thanks a lot for asking, anon! Do you ship Dazai and/or Fyodor with anyone? If you don't mind me asking :3
#asks#fyozai#otp: cat and mouse#it's honestly so hard to put into words how I feel about them#especially now that I don't know what to think of canon and what's going on with Fyodor's character in canon#it's all just so confusing right now
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hhelp wait this is so funny. didnt you follow me forever ago after a scott themed october song analysis . sorry if you dont remember that and this ask doesnt make sense but this is still funny to me
hi!!!! yeah. it was the cherri crane lives art i think and also where you made your flower husbands tag! I have never really interacted with fh outside of you (and like, seeing pretty fanart) but i am nonetheless deeply invested in your interpretation specifically!!! I honestly haven't watched jimmy outside of rats and the beginning of empires2 either i genuinely have no clue what they get up to you just seem to have a lot of fun with it
#asks#<-omg i can make that a tag now#i also am a year behind on the life series. i think the most recent one i've seen is double#like from any pov. i am a year behind. however that goes for everything on youtube#my poor watch later playlist hit the 5000 video limit forever ago and so did the second one i made to replace it. i am on my third#but seriously i don't know what goes on in fh canon but i like their blue/yellow thing they have going on. idk if that's like? intentional?#but like scott blue and canary yellow are really pretty colors together#and they are also SO close to being complimentary colors and yet. they aren't. just a little bit off#they don't quite fit quite how they should. i made that up on the spot i mostly think yellow and blue are nice colors#i think my biggest exposure to scott before you was literally the deal with destiny song in empires1#and i don't even think i acknowledged him as like a real guy ykwim.#like oh yeah. scott smajor. he's like. in that song lizzie made or something. he can sing alright i guess (plays it on loop)(plays it on lo#whisp whispers#seeing u post about Discourse(tm) is always really funny to me because i didn't realize for a while that u did not have like#the 'normal' interpretation? like i didn't realize you had a different view than other people#i was like oh yeah the relationship held in the death games is toxic. that makes sense yeah and is not surprising#and then suddenly there would be a post where you mention discourse and i went. Ohhhhh wait they're supposed to be HAPPY!!!#but i feel like this is infinitely more enjoyable i love Flawed Characters#and especially now after watching his rats. i get it. i get it i get it i see what you are saying#he doesn't interact much with jimmy hes mostly with owen and. i mean#'i've never heard someone apologize so much while putting the blame on the other person'???? i see exactly what you mean#r!scott accidentally hurting r!owen and then apologizing profusely while insisting it's because owen stood in his way. and then immediately#isolating himself in a room for like 20 minutes and refusing to interact with anyone feels like. idk#it reminds me of ur rambles and i understand them more now i think. kind of#to be clear by 'with' i mean like. in proximity of. those rats are AROMANTIC!!!!! (to me)#i'm so sorry these tags are a mess. but alas#i also think it's really funny to follow Flower Husbands guy and know nothing abt them. invested by proxy. whenever i hear abt scott giving#jimmy a flower i get excited not because like i know what's going on but because omg! that's like that thing bree talks about sometimes!!#i hope that like. any of this makes sense shdbfjk
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More progress being made. I finished re-reading The Illusion of Living this past Friday. It's a nice book. 👍
This was the last of the Bendy books in this "marathon" that I'm doing which I had already read previously and now I'm rereading, meaning that I'm kind of up to date when it comes to rereading all the books that were released until December 2021. But the race is not over yet. Soon I'll start Fade To Black, and (technically) I'll finally be up to date.
Just to continue my chain of posting about the books I finished (at least, the main ones that I really wanted to read) here it is…something I did at the beginning of March, on the night when shit went down. (I hope you know what I'm talking about).
I saw the tweets first hand, I was there! Right at the damn moment. And it was..something reading those tweets alright. If the image above doesn't show it, my mood that night and the next 1-2 days wasn't so… great. You might read this and think I'm exaggerating, but that night especially I, uuhhh, I didn't feel good! And this image (and maybe 2 more posts I made that night) are the results of that. (And to think that a week before this happened, I had finished rereading DCTL after a long time. Talk about better/worse timing than this)
At least, if you want the bright side of this, it's that even after that day, I decided to continue with my book marathon, and I don't regret it. I was down that day, but I wasn't out yet damn it!! and I'm still not. (I don't know if this sentence makes a lot of sense, but you get my point)
As a bonus, here's something I did the night I got to the part where Henry is first mentioned in the book (you can consider this as a representation of my reaction when he's first mentioned, both for when I read TIOL for the first time in 2021, as now in this rereading)
Feat. canon Henry design and my fanon design for him (I wanted to include him here + I still read this book with my fan-designs in mind)
#bendy and the ink machine#batim#crookedsmile open his mouth#crookedsmile open his mouth;bendy#ABBY LAMBERT; IN MY HEART YOU ALWAYS BE CANON TO THE GAMES; I DON'T CARE WHAT THE OTHERS SAY#also;i'm a Henry Stein fan;could you tell#re-looking at the first image and realizing that I will probably have to change my Abby design eventually;specifically; the hair.#I'm sure this hair doesn't match with what was described in DCTL or TIOL;#It's going to be a little strange; I'm so used to drawing her like this; but hey; every now and then we have to make sacrifices#To summarize my thoughts on TIOL: it's a nice book! Although it is not my favorite among the other Bendy books written by Kress#It's great to see more of Joey; delving deeper into his character and seeing how he thinks and seeing more of his life before the studio#is an interesting read! but I still prefer stories like DCTL and TLO; you know;especially because these two also have the horror factor in#which;considering what TIOL is; it doesn't have it. It's still a good book tho. It's just not my favorite#and re: the whole book canonity thing: I was not happy! Wow; what a surprising thing to say#as someone who enjoyed the books;I was disappointed with what I thought was expanding the games universe;In the end;just wasn't doing it#like;ok;sure;that doesn't mean the books aren't worth reading; I'd say they are! but still;*points to the last tag*#Maybe; one day; in the future; I can even accept this decision and move on with life; you know. understand the why of this.#but in the current present? yeah;no. I will continue to ask myself why#I would say more; but Tumblr has a tag limit apparently so I'm running out of time. as a last message: read the books#regardless of what the devs say; I still think these things should be recognized.#that's all; peace
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ideal scenario is that i like thinking about this like, essential short story adventure where winston and tuk hook up w/a couple [that bachelorette party] members, and as a foursome/quartet because they have these parallel stories of two pairs of friends who are like "sure i'd have sex with you if things aligned for that" and now are living that short story about expanding a dynamic & becoming closer friends for the end of it (of course billions only wrote winston as standing next to tuk next episode, instead of rian as he's often written to be standing with incl in a previous finale, to shove him out of the path of getting material and let taylor have confusing nonresolution w/rian based on this proximity and coincidence instead. but who can't say that that, And winston next not even trying to sit with tmc in the last finale appearance which at this point is probably for the best and instead again hanging out with tuk and then ben, isn't about having been closer for whatever all happened there in obtaining casual sex together)
and they can have perpendicular stories of also just having some nice chats and enjoying other interactions together such that maybe it's just fun for this one night of crossing paths, maybe anyone stays in touch at all, who even knows, if winston or tuk are dating anyone it's probably only going to come up again in how they were last dumped for being too much effort for how unepic they are, so godspeed to offscreen unmentioned dating. but just friendly acquaintanceship, or again this one-time spontaneously crossed paths night's acquaintanceship, is also a lot of fun. and why not imagine that winston "he's not allowed to not feel self-loathing or, by doing basic things like talking or initiating Or oppositng anything, Not operating as though he's too low in a social hierarchy here to be allowed thusly" type of material where his spontaneity, vivacity to bon vivantocity, self-assurance that is apparently arrogance/aggression to every who thinks he ought to be self-effacing instead, etc, is actually just a social success in other less wretched non-work situations, and his personality is taken as a contribution to the proceedings even before anyone takes up his proffered contribution of himself as a potential sexual partner. and lending confidence to tuk as like one person who won't, at any given time, go into hostile mode with him or even like take up the position of issuing this criticism, which is an inherently elevated (over tuk) one when it's a unilateral thing. such that tuk's personality can be a potential contribution as well. and winston and tuk's Friendship Developing Moments can be happening then, too, b/c Maybe they've hung out outside work on their own aleady, but also maybe they've never really been interacting with a larger group outside work, such that that group is less likely to include some people, or entirely people, who will suddenly go sicko mode on either or both of them. and then meanwhile, who knows anything abt this bachelorette party, could be already a cohesive friend group who all see each other all the time, or people who see each other more infrequently meeting up on this trip, or a mix; could be fun and chill or something so scheduled/demanding it's kind of like a work trip, or fluctuate....and of course zero info abt the individuals such that imagining anything abt them is entire OC territory, and i'm bad at that, or at coming up with stories, so not exactly a lot of details here from me but godspeed if two of them unlock another tier of friendship here b/c like parallel to winston and tuk, they're like hmm okay so we're mutually down re: potentially having a foursome here, and spending some time away from the larger group
(or of course the scenario that tuk and winston can also have that moment but just as putting "and/or: a threesome?" as an option, and that tips the scales for someone who might've otherwise felt more indecisive like "hmmmm casual convenient hookup, or spending more time out & about like this / whatever other activity...." but then is like oho Well, if it's a threesome, i'll seize that opportunity, sure....such that then maybe afterwards [winston and tuk hanging out together] happens sooner, if the third member feels more third wheel about things lol, since now they'd be the only two who already know each other. like ooh who knows, round n+1 in the aftermath just one on one (and/or i mean, maybe another thing the third party's still around for, re: further casual sex opportunities that don't just fall into your lap every day), and/or talk, watch tron together, go back out on the town even. where the conclusion of this truly is the essence of "it Is easy to imagine that winston and tuk are real Genuine Friends for the implicit further offscreen time spent together outside work / interactions between them here. and fun" and with that flair of "and give that a juxtaposed parallel in it being the same for a couple bachelorette attendees, why not, good for them"
#winston billions#not even overt winstuk ideas. at least not in the sense that this or other ideas i have in that realm would necessarily be distinct from#the realm of ideas abt their being actual regular friends. even when it's like ''ooh & what if they kissed'' ideas.#it's [aroace] it's [relationship anarchy] it's [for the most part if i use ''romance/romantic'' as a term it's a shorthand for convenience]#not the most interesting dynamic i'm working towards here. like even w/the world of [many Tayston ideas that involve their both extensively#navigating this world of What Are We] most fun ideas aren't that they Just want to say ''i love you(tm)'' especially not wherein that in#turn is supposed to be a shorthand for Romance; Huh? that itself elides everything else w/more Meaning that can be discussed or organically#figured out by further navigation when what's more honestly going on is that they want more options in how they interact w/each other#which is included in fun ideas that they do enjoy & go ''jk unless??'' when ppl assume they Are dating / together romantically(tm) lol....#all that to really take a long tangential way around to ''and i don't even think much abt what billions canon could offer re tuk & winston#being friends beyond further very occasional very isolated very peripheral glances outside of knowing a) it'll be a joke on both of them#and/or b) it'll be a joke on just winston; in that tuk is the one who must Transcend this genuine friendship'' and i certainly don't expect#much in general given that i'm not even presuming winston's not written out early in season 7 or anything#to even write some nebulous Positive Enough / Genuine Enough riawin dynamic material for my tayriawin wip sure is essentially equivalent w/#writing this What If Their Friendship Was Positive/Genuine Enough. and tbh taking it back to pre 5x08 rian of the short hair & busy desk#when there was still that potential re being a character b/c whoops weren't yet cast into being taylor's mirror & only plot Device vs Drive#great times out here. could get actual character material if she's actually criticized vs w/e taylor says abt her is [their mood ring]#evidently hypocritical in how she treats winston; which is to say: uses him; most often by bullying him; & seems to have interacted w/his#ever indeed having a crush on her by consciously taking advantage of that for....only more bullying. so based on That canon precedence it's#like....considerations of how they could interact now that might be more romance(tm) proximate are. certainly not Good lol.#the one true This Could Be Good And Enjoyable billions canon has proven to yield: Put It All On Taylip Baby. As Personal All/Anythings 🙏🙏#hilariously similar Seeming premise w/riawin like wow they're rivals when feeling petty but can & want to work together. they're peers.#they're foily. they're offbeat enough. they're a duo of somethings. they're Aware of the language & the rules & the behaviors. they're#crucially unusually cooperative in general but esp. with each other....and yet. apparently At All Costs winston must be a joke and rian mus#be correct; other characters insisting on thusly so much that there's no indication the writers are even aware of any other possibilities#when perhaps core themes of analyzing perceived intrinsic vs extrinsic incongruity fails to apply this to Autistic Ppl Are Real....shrugh!#i have no idea if the fact rian has no clue she also ever uses people to her benefit & will keep at it b/c she can get away with it is also#aligned thusly like. writers think pwning winston is A Neutral; Unquestionably Correct simple fact of human interactions/relations.#still nonzero suspicion that [no; rian isn't meant to simply be correct] but if you write him off / nobody's said shit to her except for#winston himself (ignored by characters & potentially viewers) or even blinked; as has been the case so far....then where are we exactly.
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do you think Falin's chimerism would affect her lifespan and behaviors? or just her body? maybe she can make more animalistic noises or has vague dragon-like instincts?
that’s a really good question! I think we could probably figure this out by taking a look at what we know about Falin, what we know about red dragons, whether these things would apply to Falin, and go from there.
The obvious external changes Falin has are: her eyes, her teeth, and her feathers.
It’s hard to pin down what Falin is like! Throughout the duration of the manga, she wasn’t really a character so much as a plot device. We have almost nothing told from her point of view, and the majority of her unbiased (as in, we’re seeing her through a neutral lens and not another character’s perception of her) characterization is from the post-canon omake.
Even Falin believes that her wanderlust might come from her dragon side, but she's not sure. Personally, I think it’d make a lot of sense if it kind of does, in the sense that she has 20/20 vision now, haha! For most of her life, she could probably only see clearly within a relatively small sphere surrounding her, and now she can see everything. She can look up and around freely in a way she couldn’t before. Fuck man, if I had magic lasik I’d probably go out more too.
Some other quirks that are really unclear whether it’s typical for Falin or chimera-influenced:
she enters rooms through windows, sometimes. And given the leaves in her hair, I think it’s reasonable to assume this is not the first floor 💀 But who knows! Maybe that’s not new for Falin.
She points out that Laios’s scent could deter monsters. Maybe she has enhanced smell. But again, it isn’t unreasonable to think this is something she would have said before. (I think even Chilchuck and Izutsumi, whose senses of smell are enhanced, can’t identify scents well. Kuro, however, can.)
VIOLENCE! But again, we’ve seen her beat shit with her staff before, and she also used to wield a flail. It IS a trait for red dragons to fight any large threat, so if anything, she’s got even better monster fighting instincts than before. I don't think this would carry over to people. Falin has always been better with people, and I'm personally not a fan of seeing her depicted as territorial or possessive. Marcille is already the possessive one, and didn't need dragon blood to be like that.
Ultimately, I don't think her dragon traits extend much farther beyond this. Especially when you consider How Little the dragon is represented as in her conscience.
it's not like it's a 50/50 split. She's like a person with a dragon ratatouille. I don't think she'd be able to make dragon noises. I don't think her body is built for that. I know there's like, a set list of tropey characteristics that are given to almost every non-human character in fiction. and sure that's FINE but they tend not to be especially personalized to the character, and tend to just be an excuse to write them OOC. Like, sure, dragons may have instincts regarding sleep habits, hunting, courting, raising young, etc etc, but so do humans! And we don't compulsively act on every instinctual whim we have. I don't see why it'd be any harder for her new dragon instincts.
If anything, I think she'd feel more affected by the fact that she has part of the demon in her.
I don't think Falin's in any sort of trouble. All the demon was was a way to communicate with people. Here, it's representing Falin's tether to the infinite realm, to mana itself. The winged lion no longer has the desire to consume anymore because, yknow, Laios has that now. This is very likely why she no longer needs to chant to cast magic.
But what else does this mean for her? She already had unusually high reserves of mana + an innate connection with spirits, but is her mana essentially limitless now? How would that affect her lifespan? I'm leaning towards, it wouldn't really?? But is she immune to mana sickness now? Is it more like her magic is just sort of amplified like it would be in a dungeon?
We can infer that having more mana doesn't increase your lifespan, because-- while elves and gnomes have both naturally high levels of mana and longer lifespans-- dwarves live longer but have lowest levels of mana of all.
So to answer your question! Maybe a little bit?? But I don't think she'd change a whole lot.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#long post#falin touden#laios touden#chilchuck tims#marcille donato#my art#comic
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Figuring out I'm on the ace spectrum was so difficult because I have always been a horny bitch. I knew what sex was at a fairly young age, because I'd asked my mom and she's one of those good parents who'll answer questions like those, and as I grew older and would ask more complex questions, her answers would evolve along with my curiosity and understanding of the world. And I remember having fantasies as young as 9 or 10 years old, even if they were hella vague and nothing close to what sex actually is lol
So as I became a teenager, and all my friends' focus turned from playing with dolls to flirting with boys, I automatically thought I was attracted to boys. And I paid more attention to Cute Boys than I did to Cute Girls, because girls were just nice to look at while boys were People To Have Crushes On. Because of heteronormativity. Looking back on it now, I know there were girls I liked to stare at just as intently as boys, although less often because I wasn't trying to pay attention. And I certainly didn't fantasize about girls because I started reading romance novels in 5th grade, so I was fantasizing about male romantic partners because that was the fiction I was consuming. I didn't even realize fantasizing about girls was possible until I was 17, and I had a few "am I a lesbian" internal crises for years because of it.
So when I did start having sex, I had A LOT OF IT with SO MANY different guys, and eventually a couple of women once I started accepting that bisexuality was real. But it was never really fulfilling. Not like my fantasies were. Not like my books were. I was slutty because sex was fun, I was horny, there were plenty of options so I kept searching for that satisfaction I was craving.
Getting married was a relief (even though it turns out I'm aro-spec too lol) because I was tired of hunting, and even if sex with my husband was meh, at least I had someone around to scratch that itch if I had it, and he didn't mind if I occasionally took care of things on my own because I'd read an especially hot scene in a romance.
I learned about asexuality in my early 20s, but I brushed it off. Couldn't be me, I'm far too horny for that. But I think that comes from the fact that everything you hear about Aces is attached to sex-repulsion or sex-indifference. I wasn't either of those things. I was horny all the dang time. I was fantasizing about sex all the dang time. I figured actual sex was meh because my imagination was so vivid that real life could never match up. Which could be true to an extent, but I think not as much as popular opinion would have us believe. If fantasy was really that much better for everyone, then I think we'd have less incels and unplanned pregnancies than we do.
In my 30s I finally saw people talking about The Spectrum, and I started examining my past, and I figured out I wasn't really attracted to anyone I had sex with. I do occasionally find someone attractive; there are men and women and enbies who make my skin feel tight and give me a little wave of lightheadedness lol... but it's always always the fantasy that gets me really going. If given the opportunity I wouldn't have sex with any of those people. Thank you, but no thank you, I'd rather just imagine it than physically participate in the act with them.
(Ok I might go down on them, but that's less about wanting sex, and more about being able to add them to my Tally. Hell yeah I want to brag about making *insert hot person* have an orgasm. There's PRIDE in that kind of accomplishment lol)
I have a lot of respect for aces that are not horny. I understand it even if I don't share the sentiment. And I feel like most of them understand me even if they don't share the sentiment. There's a solidarity between us.
Until I go into a fandom tag for a character that the aces have glommed onto because they're canonically ace or headcanoned as ace. Good lord, the non-horny aces can turn into downright vicious bastards if a horny ace sexualizes their blorbo.
This post is for them.
Horny aces exist. Please look up "autochorissexual, lithosexual, and aegosexual."
Refer to those definitions in regards to romantic attraction as well as sexual attraction.
Some aces may not fall into one of those definitions, because asexuality is a spectrum, but they may still be horny.
Horny aces are not disrespecting you by enjoying being horny on main. We promise we'll wash the stickiness off our hands before we hold your hands in queer solidarity.
And most importantly: Your blorbo is fictional and does not need to be defended from icky sexuality. They exist in an infinite multiverse, so your blorbo and my blorbo are not the same, even if they appear to be on the surface.
AND:
This post is also for the people who are confused about themselves because they're horny but don't actually feel attraction. You're not crazy, you're not wishy washy, you're not "waiting for the right person to come along" (unless you are, in which case I hope you find them). You're just a thin strip of color on a massive rainbow that holds more unique shades than anyone can perceive at a glance.
You're valid. You're one of us too.
And don't be mean to the non-horny aces. Tag your smut so they can avoid it. (But actually so I can find it lol)
#ltleramblings#queer stuff#seriously the fandom fights are so exhausting#thank goodness for the block button#asexuality
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been seeing some stuff on blue eye samurai and big yikes to nearly everyone pushing extremely western ideals onto these characters.
this is early edo period. 1600s. the japan you know now did not exist yet.
yall. please. there was NO concept of sexuality in pre-modern japan. that came with both the influx of christianity and western influence very very late in history. like, mid-1800s. (yes, there was christianity pre-1800s but it was not a widespread idea yet and wouldn't be until about the 1800s since, y'know, missionaries were routinely murdered before then)
"so and so is either bi and hasn't figured it out yet or..." no. that isn't how it worked then. nobody gave a shit what was between your legs. anyone could be attracted to anyone else. it was a little more common for male homosexual relationships to be between an adult and younger male - like many other places around the world - but two adult men could bang and love each other just as easily. relationships between women were quite common - especially since so many men were often away at war. there's tons of pornographic prints from the time depicting all manner of fun queer relationships. sex itself had absolutely no moral assignment to it. good sex was good health. it didn't matter who with. (well, social class/caste mattered more than anything else tbh but that didn't stop upper and lower class from fucking.)
that isn't to say people didn't have preferences. of course they did. that is human nature. preferences arose more from physical appearance, caste, and circumstances with gender being about the last thing one would look for in a partner - romantic, casual, or otherwise. the only role in sex where gender actually mattered was for procreation.
there would be no queer awakening moment, no sudden switch flipped, no stigma to have internal conflicts about because it simply did not exist as a concept whatsoever. you were either attracted to a person or you weren't, it was that simple. gender played no role when it came to sex and sexual attraction. the japanese were lightyears ahead of western cultures in this particular area - like most cultures were before christianity came in and ruined everything with its backwards morals and strict good/evil dichotomy.
yall have got to realize queer rep will not and should not always adhere by modern western standards.
there was no straight, gay, bi, or anything else of the sort. the closest they ever got was referring to roles during sex - as in who is giving and who is receiving.
i know this is mostly a made up story but it is still set within a very specific time period and culture, which should be honored and respected by not making it fit into our box. tons of research went into making this show historically accurate (albeit with some discrepancies but tbh they aren't really that huge) right down to the calligraphy writing. please please please don't whitewash the culture from these characters.
i say this mainly because without this knowledge, so many of you are going to build these characters up on a foundation they aren't meant to be on and then you'll rage about queerbaiting and bad queer rep if it isn't somehow super explicitly stated, if it doesn't match your very modern, very western ideal of what queer looks like. don't try to force this plot and narrative and characters into something they canonically and historically aren't. headcanons are a thing, AUs are a thing, fanfiction is a thing - leave your western thinking for those and let these characters simply exist as they should otherwise. this is one of those times where the queerness really does not need to be examined at all beyond what we get.
i know it can be hard to wrap your head around - sexuality is such a huge part of our identity in the western world and has slowly started to spread amongst other parts of the world in importance. but just keep in mind with these particular characters, that concept would be so very alien to them.
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Alastor in a relationship with a pure hearted s/o
a/n. the relationship can be interpreted as queerplatonic or even romantic if you wish, but not sexual in any nature. hope Alastor is not ooc!
tw! canon typical violence
"cuddled up with a heart condemned, I should love you and I swear I do"
it's true that Alastor is touch averse, but this doesn't apply if it's you we're talking about.
also, we saw that Alastor dislikes physical touch only when it's someone else getting handsy with him. he can be pretty touchy if he wants to and likes to be close to you.
sneaking an arm around your waist, putting his hands on your shoulders, pecking your forehead. also, arms intertwined while walking around the city.
hand holding is more occasional, but not excluded at all.
he likes the sound of your laugh, and has a soft spot for your smile. he thinks that it suits you so well like a perfect-chosen accessory.
veeery protective. he knows you can be naïve and that Hell loves to take advantage of more innocent inhabitants.
he prefers to go with you when you have to leave the Hotel and strikes deathly smiles to anyone who dares to look at you with any kind of intention.
you're the only person who can see him drop his smile sometimes. he doesn't have to use it as a tool when you're around so there's no reason for him to always keep it. he doesn't feel vulnerable around your presence.
sometimes he comes back to the Hotel covered in blood. you don't approve his ways, and he knows, but he's just like this.
you shrug your shoulders, sigh, and then take some towels to clean him up.
"you'll end up ruining your coat and your pretty face like this"
loooves to dance with you. swing dancing specifically. maybe to the rhythm of an upbeat jazz tune in your room.
you were completely wack at dancing the Charleston, but he taught you well since he's an absolute beast at it.
you occasionally slow dance, it's a really intimate moment for you and Alastor and makes you both feel closer to each other. your favourite spot to slow dance is the forest in his room, especially at night under a clear and starry sky.
you like to drink together, he's a classy type of drunk and you make the best conversations while sharing a glass together.
sometimes, he'll start ruminating about the possibility of you redeeming yourself and leaving the Hotel.
he doesn't like ruminating, it makes him feel weird because he doesn't believe in redemption in the first place. so case closed...right?
he says to himself that even if you were to be, he would find a way to let you stay.
but he immediately tells himself that he doesn't want to force you. but he also starts to get concerned because it's not like him to contain himself and his cold heart. more ruminating, more concerned Alastor.
he's aware that he cares about you, and that you're special to him and that he feels a deep rooted love. but he never thought it would affect his evilness and now he's confused.
you like to cook for him, since you're aware that he's a huge foodie. and he loves to do the same for you! he likes to share his mom's recipes.
loves to call you "my darling"
you like to hang out at his radio tower, just listening to him intently while he hosts a program.
sometimes even asks you to join in to talk about jazz!
very occasionally sleeping together, just holding your hands with fingers intertwined.
honestly Alastor doesn't even know what love is, but he just knows that he feels it for you.
#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel#vivziepop#alastor x reader#alastor#radio demon#alastor the radio demon#radio demon x reader#queerplatonic#hazbin hotel fanfiction#writers on tumblr#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor x you#alastor x reader headcanons#headcanons
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Oh my GOD oh my for okay though that new fic you wrote with Carmy? 12/10 chefs kiss mwah mwah MWAH!! 💕💕💕 That part with Carmy going ballistic and beating the shit out of that asshole customer I LOVED it!! Now it’s got me thinking of Carmen going absolutely feral, just insane if he’s in the kitchen cooking and calling orders, while you’re out front taking orders from customers. He and the rest of the kitchen just go silent and stop in their tracks when they hear a guy just screaming at the top of his lungs at you, using the absolute most vile words against you and Carmen just sees red, especially if whoever it is ups and yells something along the lines of “You stupid fucking whore-“ and Carmen’s just a blur as he POUNCES on this guy. (Richie’s either cheering him on or trying with all his strength to claw Carmen off before he straight up kills the guy)
Office Doors
Oooh you guys are spoiling me rotten with these requests…I love a good feral fic every once in a while and this one was..well you'll know what i'm talking about once you've read it ;) I haven't written Carmen in a day and I miss him already, school has been up my ass so if you have sent me a request, don't worry it's being written, and re-written and-. Thank you anon for getting my gears going and your lovely messages 🥰🥺 ur support means the world
warnings: swearing, objectification and misogyny, angst, oral (f recieving), smut, thigh riding (?), porn with plot, feral!carmen
carmen berzatto x reader!
(This is totally and completely canon btw)
You stretch your body across the diner tables, dipping a dirty cloth into lukewarm soapy water before rinsing it out. The lunch rush had just slowed to a even pace, the sound of Carmen yelling out dishes from his line finally quieting down.
You have just a little time to spare, and you spent that time quickly wiping down the Beef’s tables that had begun to accumulate a few too many stains and unfinished crumbs of bread.
You had grown up in a home that was always messy, all the time. And no matter how much times you had asked, and no matter how much times you had just done the chores themselves, the clutter of dirty dishes and old wet clothes in the laundry had permanently been embedded into your family home.
It’s partially why you had loved the sterile laboratory of you culinary kitchens. Clutter caused your skin to itch with anxiety, it made you feel dirty, and with the way you scrub the diner tables a little too hard you wonder if it's another one of the many joy’s your family had given you.
And whilst the Beef was so different from your environment back in culinary school, it wasn’t necessarily worse. In fact, you had grown to fall in love with the quirks of the kitchen, the ‘fuck you carmen’ napkin holder, the too small walkway, the framed pictures of beloved regulars and the staff’s families. Most of all, however, was the family you had built here, the kind you couldn't find working under a domineering CDC.
The kind that had always been waiting for you, been planted deep into the earth like roots.
Besides, you and Carmen had bonded together during the late nights after most of the family had gone home. Were you both were left, scrubbing the floor together in a rhythmic silence that seemed to be more therapeutic than work.
You’ve nearly finished wiping down the last of the stools perched against the counter top of the front when a loud guffawing causes you to break your trance-like state.
Jovial yelling breaks into the rarely quiet restaurant as the door swings open, and a stream of rowdy men dressed in pullovers and fleece jackets, with scarves and basketball hats of distinct sport team colours wrapped around their necks.
One man is fully decked out, sporting the jersey and beanie of what seemed to be a hockey team. The boom of his voice indicates he was the loudest too, unaware of the grumble of patrons around the restaurant that had grown annoyed at the man's violent rambling.
You breath out a sigh, finishing off wiping down the bar stools and putting the bucket of dirty water under the front counter. Before ironing out any creases in your apron and preparing yourself for the absolute headache this would cause.
They were a familiar bunch, usually coming in after games late after the dinner rush. It seemed there was a game during the early morning, as they grumble about not having anything to eat the entire day.
Their loud and annoying and swear too much and Carmen hates the way one of them looks at you but they order a shit ton of food and fuck if the bear needs money, what can you say.
Your eyes glance at a cup of coffee Richie had accidently left under the register, and you suddenly crave your afternoon pick me up well after the afternoon. The men begin walking up to the register, ignoring your polite greeting and going straight into listing off items from the menu as if you were a machine. You nod along all the words they were saying, and soon enough you give up on writing it down as they’ve practically ordered the entire menu safe for a few appetiser's.
“Make it quick, yeah? We’re bloody starving '' One of the men calls out from his seated position in one of the booths and you give them a tight lipped smile, resisting the urge to throw that coffee mug at him.
Carmen peeks his head from the entryway leading to the kitchen, his unruly ashy blonde curls falling to the sides as he shares a look with you, as if to say ‘you alright? And you nod in that unspoken way the two of you have and tell him that you can handle it. Working in a kitchen didn't have to teach you how to deal with assholes, you had your family to thank for that one again.
You hear the familiar sound of Carmen shouting out orders, and the sizzle of pans and boiling pots increase in order to push out the lengthy order before more foot traffic would pour in.
You’re trying to fix the register when it happens, something gets caught in the old janky machine, causing the cash drawer to get stuck as you have to hit its sides at a certain angle to get it to open up again. Years and Carmen refuses to get it fixed, or buy a new one all together, resorting to having it taped up and banged every couple hours to get it working again.
You almost don’t see him, until he is leaning against the counter, into the space between the cash register and you, a greasy smile pulling at his features and he watches you. You bite back a grimace at the way his eyes trail down your apron, fixated on the dip of skin that peeks from the top of your shirt.
“Something you need Sir?” You ask politely, taking a tentative step back, your hand gripping the edge of the counter.
The man smiles strangely at your comment, cocking his head to the side before replying suggestively
“I definitely want something”
You cough, biting back your knee-jerk response to hurl at him, you can feel the burn of embarrassment against your cheeks and you swallow as you try to reply with a steady response.
“You’re food will be out in a short-while-”
“You know, I think I’ve seen you around here, are you new to town?” The man tries to strike up a conversation
“Came here a few years ago and haven’t left since” You reply with a tight smile
“Ah! I know where you're from exactly now” The man replies with a grin that pulls his face upwards, it's eerie, his smile, like he knows something he shouldn't.
“There’s this porn star online, looks exactly like you, it’s kind of insane” The man replies with a smile that deepens as you stammer
You feel humiliated as you stare back at him, you don’t know what to say, and his eyes continue trailing down your body in a way that makes you feel disgustingly objectified. He’s reduced you to an object for him to gawk at, and you see the way the men behind him jeer and laugh that this is all a play to intimidate you.
You want to run straight home and scrub yourself clean, wash away the feeling of his imprinted gaze down the drain.
“You think we can recreate one of her videos when you get off work here?” The man replies, a glint in his eyes.
“What? You- you” You stammer and he breaks out into a laugh
“Awh, look at her, fucking shaking. Don’t tell me this is your first time?” The man eggs on to his friends, who have begun laughing and cheering him on.
You grit your teeth, trying to get the words out as you glance towards the kitchen, where was he? He leg twitches in want, wanting to get Carmen, wanting to run from the restaurants, wanting to run from the embarrassment and disgust you felt.
The flashes of Richie and Syd passing by is all you can see, the booming voice of Carmen being too wrapped up in the orders to notice what was happening.
“C'mon, just give me your number” The man presses on, leaning in so that only you can hear “It isn't like I don't know where you work” Before he leans back, muttering a halfhearted kidding under his breath
“You are disgusting” You spit out, trying to sound as confident as you can, and the mans eyebrow twitches, and he cocks his head like he was confused.
“What? I’m doing you a favour here, I'm actually a nice guy you know? Not one of those assholes on the street” The man scoffs, moving closer towards you and you have a feeling the man is waiting for a reason to lunge at you.
“Just, just take your food and your buddies and go alright? There doesn’t have to be a fight or-or” You continue, trying to de-escalate the situation and get him to just leave you the fuck alone.
“Are you fucking kidding me? I’m doing you a fucking favour and now your kicking me out?” The man begins to get heated, and his friends behind him watch on in silence, you can notice other customers begin to look your way, sensing the rising anger filling the room. You slowly step back, looking for something to shield yourself in case he comes at you.
“What, you think because you work you have some- some what, control? I don't think you know how this works doll, you give me your number, and I dump my load in you because your nothing but a stupid fucking whore” The man bellow, it’s so loud that it echoes through the Beef, that it reaches even the kitchen sinks where Manny is washing up.
The man’s face grows red as the veins near his neck begin to pop out, he emphasises the last word, spitting it out like that was all you were.
The restaurant goes silent as the man heaves in exertion, the sound of Carmen shooting out orders is mute now, the slice of steel against bamboo stops, and the bear is fucking quite for the first time since it opened.
Your body is pushed against the wall, near the swinging doors into the Kitchen, and you can see Carmen back to you, he has stopped cutting at his station, and the outline of muscle contracts under his white shirt.
Carmen turns, slowly, he turns to the family, as they all momentarily stop their tasks in shock at what they had just heard. He begins to chuckle a little to himself, as he replies in a quiet voice you and the man can still hear.
“What did he just say?”
“Did he really say that? Did he really?” Carmen laughs to himself, nodding and gripping his hands into tight fists as the restaurant air gets thin. The man who had been screaming at you looks towards Carmen in confused fear, not knowing why this man was laughing and yet understanding he had completely fucked up.
The rest of the patrons can hear Carmen’s words, eyes widening, as they realise they were about to be collateral to a very one sided beat down. The crew looked at Carmen in silence, they had been used to Carmen's hot-headed temper, his bursts of anger that was more passion than rage. But this? This quiet silence of Carmen’s words, the way his chest heaves as you glances at your frightened position against the wall? They genuinely feared what he would do next, a silent rage like no other begins to envelop the restaurant, the air thin and suffocating as Carmen begins to walk through the kitchen and into the front counter.
“Don’t call an ambulance this time” Carmen mutters to Richie as he passes him by, Carmen’s eyes are fixed on you, trailing down your body before fixating on the shake of your hands. Carmen knows you well, and it’s the clench of your throat, like you're suffocating, like you can’t breath that snaps something in Carmen.
A malevolence Carmen has never felt spills into his gut, the burn of anger spreading against his chest until hes practically shaking with it, he is filled with this heart ache, like his heart is split in two and gushing as he realises his been cutting fucking chives whilst you nearly died.
And something predatory fills Carmen, like he must prove to himself he can protect you, and in one swift move, like muscle memory etched into his bones, Carmen jumps over the front counter and swings his fist in one clean motion, knocking the man across the room.
The man’s body crumbles as he slams into the hardwood floor of the Beef, the immediate groan of twisted pain and pleads leave the man's mouth and Carmen is just so sick of his goddamn voice.
It all went quiet then, the noise of Sydney yelling, of his friends, of the man’s heaving wet coughs, the air conditioner, all white noise. Carmen’s hand reaches for his ankle, dragging him back from his crawling escape.
“Oh, no no no, we’re not escaping now are we?” Carmen grunts, his voice lower than it usually is.
Carmen wraps an arm around his throat, holding him there as he brings down his fist across his face. The wet sound of bones crunching into muscle and skin go on forever, bouncing across the room until the throaty heave of the man is all that is left of him. Carmen cannot stop the swing of his fists, something possesses him and as one of the men in hockey colours tries to grab Carmen arm he throws him back into the stack of barstool's piled near the tables. He is facing his back to you again, and you state, fixated on how his body moves to support him, the contracts and outline of his strong back, his large forearms that break bone with a mere swing.
His face swollen beyond recognition, piss and blood leaking from him, eyes bloodshot and awry.
Carmen picks him up by his collar, the smudge of blood dripping down and staining his vest, whispering into his ear as the man’s eyes widen in harrowed fear.
“Apologise”
“..Whatnhn?” The man mumbles, the feel of his tongue swelling up and going numb, Carmen presses a hand against the man's bruised stomach, pushing against the broken bone of his ribs until the Man wails in agony.
“Apologise to her or I swear to god I’m breaking your fucking legs”
The man spits out an apology, but you’re not looking at him, staring transfixed at Carmen, at the way he’s golden curls fall across his eyebrows, at the way his muscles flex against his white shirt, at the way droplets of blood are splattered across the skin of his jaw. Carmen looks towards you, and something dark takes over his cerulean blues, blowing them out.
“Do you accept? Huh honey?”
You nod, letting an exhale out and Carmen tosses the man to a pile on the floor, reaching for your hand and dragging you to the office, you can hear the scatter of shoes as the men drag their friend out of the beef, and the crew looks towards each other in satisfaction, but also in knowing, in knowing they wouldn't dare open those office doors.
The soft glow of the office is a stark difference to the bright light of the front counter, and you have to blink a couple times for your eyes to adjust, and when you do Carmen’s face is inches from you, leaning you against the office doors, his arm above your head.
The soft glow of the office is a stark difference to the bright light of the front counter, and you have to blink a couple times for your eyes to adjust, and when you do Carmen’s face is inches from you, leaning you against the office doors, his arm above your head.
“You didn't- didn’t have to” You mumble, your voice caught in your throat for a different reason.
Carmen looks down at you, shaking his head in amusement
“Don’t lie to me, you enjoyed that more than I did” Carmen whispers, leaning down near your ear, pressing his nose against the curve of your neck.
You let out a breathless sigh, and Carmen groans as he smells that familiar vanilla always hinted on your skin Carmen could smell when you passed by you. Now, now, he can practically taste it right on his tongue.
The truth was, you did enjoy it, despite being non confrontational and cringing every time Richie would show you a fight where the crunch of bone on gravel makes you shudder, you were transfixed by Carmen.
By the way he broke the man to a heaving mess with just his fuckinf fists, those same arms that are edging closer and closer to you, how would they feel between your thighs? The thought wraps itself tight in your belly, and you have to squeeze your thighs for friction.
No one had done that to you, no one had done that for you, and in a strange way it felt nice to be protected. To be wanted, and it causes a need to start building deep within you.
Carmen's eyes fall to you, and his eyebrow twitches as a look of guilt washes over his features.
“I should’ve been there, I- fuck, did he do anything? Let me get a look at you” Carmen replies softly, grabbing your wrists to look for any bruises he feared you had.
“I’m fine, just a little, uhm, shaken up you know? Said some pretty horrible things” You reply, scratching at your neck as your mind replays the way he had reduced you to a thing.
Carmen shakes his head, his teeth grinding as he grips his fists, his biceps flexing.
“You shouldn’t have to deal with that, deal with people like fucking him, I swear to god if I find him on the street I’m gonna-“
“Gonna what? Finish off the job? There is always going to be guys like him, that isn’t going to change, and it’s something I have to deal with. But what I can’t deal with is if you get yourself thrown into a jail cell because of-of me” You reply, shaking your head and Carmen looks at you like he’s in love.
Gripping a hand to your chin, Carmen raises it so that you catch the burn of his cerulean blues as you can see.
“And That would be an honourable death for me” Carmen mutters, and you can’t take your eyes off him, until you're gripping his blood stain shirt tight against your chest until the suppression groans leaving his mouth are kissed into your neck.
You want him, want to taste him on your tongue, want to feel his weight against it.
“Fuckin come here” Carmen groans out, reaching to wrap his hand around your jaw as he presses his lips against your own. The muffled of your moans escape your lips and Carmen slips his tongue between them.
His pillowy soft lips wrap around your own, his nose bumping into your cheek as he wraps an arm around your back, pushing you against the office doors. It’s all teeth and tongue, the clash of teeth and muffled groans leaving the both of you.
The suppression of both your desires falling between you two until you don’t stop to come up for air.
It’s addicting the way he kisses you, and you have to grip his shoulder as an anchor as he begins to trail his lips down your neck, sucking and nibbling at the skin there before dipping down to your clavicle.
You let out a moan as he blows cold air against the dip of your breasts, and Carmen looks down at you, his eyes heavy as he watches the way you shiver, waiting for him to give you what you want.
Carmen rips open your shirt, his eyes trailing across the curve and dip of your breasts, he mutters something under his breath, something like “beautiful” as his finger trailing the lace before unclipping it and tossing it behind him.
Carmen cups one of your breasts, circling your nipple before wrapping his lips around it and sucking, you arch your back to him, and he follows it until he rests and your hip, squeezing the skin there as his eyes roll back at the taste of you.
“Please..” You groan out, your eyes watching the way Carmen pressing soft circles into your skin, he looks up at you in confusion, the hint of a smile curving at his lips.
“Please what?” Carmen replies, sucking bruises beneath your tits, drawing it out on purpose, having too much fun watching you suffer.
“Nmfha” You mumble incoherently when Carmen flicks his tongue around your nipple, whilst squeezing the other in his cold hands.
“I can’t hear you, what do you want?” Carmen replies with a hint of a moan, he’s having trouble himself, bucking his hips up into you as he watches the way you shake from his lips
“Wanna feel you Carm, wanna taste you” You groan out with a moan, Carmen grunts at your response, his eyes growing dark and heavy, and in one swift move, he hoist you up and swipes the coffee mugs and papers left scattered across his desk before placing you on the edge.
You spread your thighs, making room for him and he steps between them.
“You wanna feel me sweet girl? You want me to take care of you? Please let me take care of you” Carmen pleads, rutting up against you as he tries to suppress the want pressing tight against his jeans.
“Carm” you groan out as Carmen tugs your jeans down leaving you in your lace underwear that Carmen grinds his jaw at, you don’t realise it but Carmen blue apron is discarded somewhere in the room, and as he carries you towards the coach you tug at his white shirt.
He rips it off him in one move, and you drag your fingers across the deep of defined muscle that flexes under your touch.
Carmen moves your thighs so that you're pushed towards the edge of the couch, and he kneels between you, pressing a soft kiss to your knee, before trailing up your thighs. Carmen had been teasing you before but now there is a frantic eagerness in the way he touches you, like if he doesn’t taste you on his tongue he might combust.
Carmen hooks a finger into your underwear,pulling them down until you were bare for him. Carmen’s eyes glisten as he states at you, naked under him and sweating. God the image imprints in his mind and he wishes he can stay here forever.
Carmen presses a soft kiss to the inside of your thigh, and your thighs shake in need, Carmen flicks his eyes up to you, and keeps eye contact, as he licks one long strip across your folds, closing his eyes and he groans at the taste of you. You contort you back at the pleasure the waves through you, eyes rolling back at the pressure of his tongue sucking your clit.
“Fucking- taste so” Carmen mumbles, before dipping his tongue between your folds, dragging it up and down, the sound of your heightened moans ripping through him.
Dipping his tongue in your hole, Carmen pushes a finger between your thighs, presses soft circles around your clit as his tongue works your folds. Your thighs shake around the curls of his head and he pushes a hand down at your stomach to stop you from moving, making you take every wave of pleasure he pulls from you.
“Carm, please, they’re going to hear us” You groan out, and Carmen shakes his head, causing his tongue to drive deeper into you, before looking up at you,
“Let them”
Carmen stretches you out with his tongue, pushing it into you and out until your heaving, his thumb is pressed against your clit, and he pushes a finger into you before sucking onto your bud.
You begin to see flashes of stars, as he thrusts a finger into your hole whilst sucking you, he scissors you open, curving his finger in a way that hits a particular spot that has you raising your hips, trying to pull yourself off of him, the white hot burn of pleasure getting too much.
“There baby? Right there?” Carmen groans out, thrusting his finger to hit that spot over and over
Carmen grips your hips, pushing you down, deeper, harder onto his mouth and fingers, pressing a second digit into you as he curves it to pull that sweet moan from your lips.
Carmen had many names, but his favourite was the broken syllabus of his own between your lips when you fell apart on his tongue.
“S’ close, so close Carmy, please” You babble out, before resigning yourself to the burn of pleasure the feels like fucking nirvana, it’s all around you, Carmen, this pleasure, it’s all you can taste.
“I know baby, I know, I’m going to take care of you okay, sweet girl?” Carmen groans, thrusting his hips into the floor, searching for friction as he watches the way your eyes roll back.
Carmen laps at your core, pushing the digits deeper, curving them upwards until you were screaming, he pushes your face down to look at him, he wants to see your face as you fall apart, and the coil that has begun to wrap itself tight snaps when he nibbles at your over sensitive clit and you see the way his dark eyes watch you, his eyebrows furrowed and your slick coats his chin.
You can’t feel anything but the white hot pleasure that rocks through you, you aren’t in your body, floating away in the pure saccharine pleasure of Carmen’s tongue and he laps at the pleasure dripping between your folds.
You mumble incoherent words, the only thing leaving your lips is Carmen’s name as you babble, spit dripping from your open mouth as you're left in a heap, Carmen leaving you dumb.
Carmen works you through your release, licking and sucking at your sweet slick that he gathers on his tongue. You see the way he thrusts into the carpet, trying to find friction as the scene in front of him becomes too much.
The thought splits something within you, seeing how Carmen got off to getting you off was out of this world, causing the pleasure to start building in your core again.
You drag Carmen up to meet your lips, and then push his tongue between your lips, causing you to taste him on your tongue. Carmen pushes his finger between his lips, sucking on the shine of slick coated there, his eyes heavy as he watches the way you grind your hips against him.
He pushes his digits into your mouth, groaning at the way you suck on them eagerly. You push him to lean his back against the coach, before manoeuvring your hips to straddle him.
You rock your hips against his jeans, feeling the way the indent pushes and bumps against your core, Carmen throws his head back, his curls falling over his forehead and he grabs your hips, pushing you deeper, down down down until he is thrusting up into you.
You grip his shoulders raising your hips before pulling his jeans and boxers down in one swift motion. Carmen forces himself to look down at you, his gaze watching the way you tug at his length, swiping a thumb across the red tip, dragging pre cum down the thick girth of him.
Carmen groans out, gripping your hips tight, and you raise up, lining yourself perfectly before sinking down on him.
Carmen’s groans are beautiful, rumbling from his chests as he squeezes his eyes shut, you fit so perfectly around him, the heat and warmth and slick of you wrapped tight around his cock. His length is thick and girth, and you have to adjust to his size, moaning at the way he fills you up just right.
As you begin to move, Carmen presses a hand, begging for you to wait
“Just, one second, fuck you feel so good I might cum from one thrust”
“Who says this is a one time thing?” You reply with a wicked smile, and Carmen groans loud at that.
You raise your hips, dragging your self on him before sliding down, your grind against him and he heaves in the pleasure of your tightness around him.
It had been so long, and the feeling of you is almost too much.
You struggle to raise your hips high enough, and Carmen wraps his hands tight around your hips before raising you himself, driving himself up into you and thrusting hard.
This new angle allows him to go deeper, and you meet his upward thrusts, groaning out as he fucks you dumb. You look gorgeous above him, the way your tits bounce with every thrust up has him hard all over again.
“Just like that baby girl, keep going, doing so fucking well, my baby” Carmen groans out, and you begin to shake at the combination of his praise the the feeling of his cock driving into you impossibly deep.
You want to make him feel good and you say this to him, causing his eyes to roll back when you squeeze yourself around him, hard, until his thrusts have to drive into you even harder.
The coach freaks loudly from Carmen’s pace, and he slams you down, positioning his cock deep into you, causing you to press half circles into your shoulder, scratching at his biceps and gripping the nape of his hair that causes him to rumble out your moaned name.
You can feel him getting close, his thrust growing sloppy and deep, you tighten around him, and his eyes are in a trance, watching the way you fit around him so perfectly.
Carmen moves to fold himself upright against you, and your eyes roll back to your head as you feel yourself climb up a familiar peak.
Carmen presses a hard kiss against your lips as you groan out, and as he slips a hand into your conjoined bodies, circling your clit you have to shove your fist into your hand to stop from screaming.
The feel of Carmen’s length driving into you and the sound of his ragged moans, mixed with the over stimulation against your clit, you can’t help but fall apart around his cock.
You squeeze yourself tight around Carmen, and he cries out, his thrusts growing slow as he joins you over the cliff, his cock thrusting up into you with spasms. His cheeks are a blush red, his tongue poking out as he follows both of your orgasms.
You fall against his chest, exhausted, pressing your cheek so that it rested against the hard muscle of his pecs. You swallow back a breath, gripping your hand around Carmen’s, as he brings it up to place a soft kiss.
Your thighs are still shaking from stimulation, and Carmen caresses a hand across them, rubbing soft circles and you lay across his chest.
You stay like this for a moment, basking in the bliss of pleasure and sex and the soft curves and dips of your bodies.
After a bit, Carmen has to slip his out cock from your thighs, eyes fixated on the way your ecstasy mixed with his one drips down your thighs.
“Fucking gorgeous” Carmen replies, and you look up at him in surprise
“What? You don’t think I'll find you gorgeous after this?” Carmen smiles down at your flustered state, he brushes back the sweat and tears dripping down your cheeks.
“That was..you are. Well fuck, Carmen, why didn’t this happen sooner?” You reply, he manoeuvres you so that your legs lay across his thighs.
“Yeah, uh, we’ll I’ve got a whole bucket of shit you don’t want dragging you down” Carmen replies scratching his neck, suddenly more shy as he lay his heart bare to you.
“Yeah, we’ll you gave me no choice when you practically murdered that man” You reply, biting back a smile, as you press soft circles around his thumb.
“Should’ve fucking murdered him…”
“What happens now?” Carmen replies, looking at you nervous that this was you just scratching an itch, because he was head over heels in love with you and he would never recover
“God Carmen, you didn’t realise I’m in love with you already?” You reply with a smile, “Practically the entire restaurant does”
Carmen looks up at you in wonder, his eyebrows furrowing as your words hit him hard. You loved him? You loved him. He wants you to repeat it a hundred times, he wants to hear your tongue say those words to him again.
“You are incomparable” Carmen mutters under his breath, before wrapping you tight against his chest, pressing a kiss that feels different now, less crazed and rushed and fueled by heated passion. It was new, it felt like a start of something.
“You think they’re okay out there?” You reply with a start.
“Hell no” Carmen replies, and you can’t help but laugh as you push your head through a shirt Carmen had passed to you.
You and Carm may have just confessed your love to one another, but you still had a goddamn restaurant to run.
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