#especially not on tumblr where everyone has made up their mind about everything already
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can i ask what yr thoughts on endo discourse are? i dont want to follow antis accidentally
my take on that is that i can't literally reach into someone's brain and see what the hell is going on in there and neither can you, so maybe get the hell out of there and stop trying to tell people what their experiences are based on what you think they should be.
okay look.
i get this ask once in a while, usually after rb'ing something about trauma and dissociation on my sideblog and that's fine but like... me just talking about trauma and dissociation is not the same thing as saying your experiences are invalid because it's not the same. which is kind of the vibe of these questions sometimes so i'm just gonna use yours as a springboard.
i have no fucking idea about you. or anyone, endo or not, or your life. or what happened in it. or what you think about it. or what you've been through. and frankly i am not invested enough in every single person on this website's feelings to add paragraphs of disclaimers about validating everyone else just so i can vent for ten minutes about my own shit.
i'm gonna post stuff about trauma and DID and how they're linked. because they are for me. that's gonna include the neuroscience behind it because learning that aspect of it has been immensely helpful in my own healing and communication efforts with my system. me talking about that does not automatically mean your own experiences as a system, or the presence of trauma, must conform to that. it's not like subtext in every post or reblog.
i'm not gonna talk about endos because that's not me, those discussions really don't involve me because i don't want to be part of them, and the one line i draw is that if you're not a survivor then get out of those spaces and at the very least, regardless of your personal opinions, leave room for discussions about being a system that don't actually relate to you. you don't have to relate or understand something to make space for it.
you can't see in my brain. fuck, i can't even see in my own brain. i also can't see in yours to say definitively what is going on in there. i can have opinions, and i can choose whether or not to air them, and there is so much complexity to a lot of this stuff that i am absolutely not getting into it on tumblr more than that.
…also, like, there are a lot of conflicting opinions between system members about a lot of this stuff. we don't all agree. there's at least one anti-endo member who just bites his tongue because the drama's not worth it here, and there's also a member who's in such denial about the trauma that she's like "well we're clearly endo, or were endo first, or--"
which is a different can of worms but i mostly mention to be like. you know. opinions vary somewhat and we have to apply that whole, trying to make room for experiences you can't relate to and finding ways to connect regardless to tumblr and my own system. that is where i'm coming from. i'm not anti-anything except anti-annoy me.
#i am trying to be as nice about this as i can#but i am sick and have not had coffee#the bottom line is i try not to be a dick about things that are not my business#and regardless of my own opinions on anything i am not gonna change anyone's mind#especially not on tumblr where everyone has made up their mind about everything already#you know?#like the discourse is not why i am here#i just want like. help and community and to not feel like i'm losing my mind alone sometimes#and i will blog about stuff around that#and if that's not for you#i mean i wish it wasn't for me either so lmao i understand#anyway#pls feel free to DM me if you want anything clarified but also#maybe not anon because i am already fighting the urge to add 100 caveats to cover my ass all over this and i hate that#and i don't bite or anything my tldr here is really i try not to be a dick and also this is tumblr lmao#I HATE ADDING PARAGRAPHS OF DISCLAIMERS I SAY#ADDING PARAGRAPHS OF DISCLAIMERS#the problem with a humanities degree and a peanut gallery in my head is my ability to anticipate every possible counterargument
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Can you tell us about your other fics if you already have an established plot?
I'd love to! So there's quite a number of them I won't lie. I tend to get inspired by the randomest things. These are all in various stages of plotted out and written.
A/B/O fic (technically turning into 3 fics) that follows Bucky & Buck through the war, described below.
Courting Arc (top of my list to finish writing) - Bucky POV as he is anonymously courted during his time in the states just before he gets sent over to England (there's a post I'm basing my writing around I'll link it in a moment) <- published
England Arc- a quick look into their lives as they run missions with A/B/O elements (this will be pretty short I think) mostly snippets of scenes from the show just now with Omega Bucky and Alpha Buck <- published
Stalag Arc - Omega Bucky and his awful time in Germany. Here is where we see what being an Omega in war is really like in my omegaverse. Bucky is the highest ranked Omega in the camp meaning he's technically 'in charge' of keeping those Omegas in line. He's tested by his heats, keeping his pack together, and finally by a German order that could tear Buck and Bucky apart. This is a big fic for me to prepare for, and I'm building up to it by writing the Courting Arc first <- next on deck
Biker Gale AU (my beloved, genuinely obsessed with this AU) - this was inspired by one of hogans-heroes AUs. So, Gale leads an outlaw-esque biker club, and Bucky used to be his right hand (and lover) except one day out of the blue he just disappeared. Gale does everything he can to find Bucky, but there's no trail to follow, no clues to put together, nothing. Fast forward about two years, Bucky arrives on Curt's doorstep holding a small baby with the brightest blue eyes and prettiest blonde curls and begs Curt to watch his baby for 5 days. 5 days later Bucky comes back in town bruised to all hell with the FBI on his tail with their own nefarious reasons for tracking Bucky down. Bucky has nowhere else to turn especially since when he comes back to Curt's he finds Gale holding his little baby. (This could be A/B/O I haven't decided, but it's definitely at least mpreg)
Amnesia fic - this is based off of a post I made about the effects of Bucky getting hit over the head like 3 times in the span of two days, its... somewhere (edit: here). But its about Bucky waking up with no memory of who he is just before he gets interrogated by the Germans and sent to Stalag Luft III where he meets a man that his heart rejoices at seeing but his mind doesn't recognize. Buck of course has to deal with the love of his life forgetting him.
Magic AU - Bucky is a Scamander and its now everyone's problem to deal with it. The tag to find all of my ramblings for it is magic au (not that Tumblr's tag system works), and @getinthefuckingjaeger just wrote the best ever fic of Bucky and Theseus so go read that.
I've also got a few paragraphs written of Foster Kid Bucky somewhere but that might never see the light of day (that's also from a hogans-heroes AU) where Bucky is a jaded teenager just trying to make it to 18 to get out of his shitty foster placement when in comes Buck whose mother finally divorced his dad, got custody of her kids, and moved to her hometown to escape. It's about a Bright Buck meeting a Jaded Bucky (a flip on their usual dynamics)
Blonde Bucky AU - I wrote a blurb on the Twin Cleven AU post, and the idea of Bucky bleaching his hair on a drunken night out with Curt and Bubbles has haunted me since <- published as well
There might be more? But these are the only ones I can remember off the top of my head right now that are plotted out beyond oh that'd be a good fic. I have a lot of time spent sitting and waiting right now, so I have the ability to write a multitude of fics. I'm happy to talk about any of these fics if you want to come into my inbox or my messages.
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Hi, Green!!! I noticed in your bio you said you're a post-hiatus phannie and I'm curious, what got you to start watching them? Do you remember your first impressions?
(Sorry if this has been asked before! I hope you're having a wonderful day and also just wanted to add I lovedddd your phasquerade art, it's hilarious and adorable 💚)
-Ser :)
hi ser!! this is actually my first ask on this blog, so i was really excited to see something in my inbox 🥹 and thank you!! posting art is SCARY but everyone is being so nice… thank you so much for organizing the phasquerade!!!
i am incredibly sorry for the Length of what is to come now. my feelings aren’t easy to sum up + i doth yap
the main reason i started watching them is probably the dapg revival itself, since my friends started watching their new videos together in our server, and i got curious and asked to tag along. before then though i’d also heard of dnp from them, and as a long-time (12 years) tumblr user i have felt their influence without realizing they were the source? i now know where the whiskers and “protip” come from…
before starting to watch dnp myself i remember seeing my friends react to the phouse reveal (i remember i was like “huh wait at their age that might actually be gay”), basically i’m gay, why i quit youtube, and dan and phil tell the truth (i didn’t know what a girl in prague was and i WAS afraid to ask). those made me curious! but not curious enough to sit through the videos themselves. i felt really bad for dan from all that though! he really sounded like he suffered more than jesus from the contents of both BIG and WIQYT 😭 i remember feeling parasocially protective of him. this is all to say my impressions weren’t COMPLETELY fresh when i started watching and especially for dan i already had one
now back to late 2023! i’d made some really massive changes in my life, like actual leap of faith, the course of my life has been altered kinda massive, so youtube become a comfort space for me. enter these two nerds! the first impression i had of both of them together kind of related to where i was in life at the moment: the realization that you can just live with a fellow nerd who loves you and you don’t have to follow the path the adult world expects from you. seeing them act silly and embrace everything they love and be so carefree and happy to be themselves, sharing a domestic life that doesn’t follow what heteronormative society demands… i know this is all obvious to so many people, but i really needed it at the time.
they became a reminder that i could have this life, that i have something to look forward to and my life isn’t over or doomed to be what society wants it yo be. their chemistry is something very pure and very real and especially now that they’re both open about their sexualities you can really feel how connected they are and how much fun they have together. it just makes me so happy to see two people adore each other so much after all these years!! god!!!
as i’ve said before i knew about dan from his yearly videos in the hiatus era, but i knew almost nothing about phil! the first thing that stood out to me was his accent, since i am very bad at recognizing accents BUT i watch plumbella so i was like whoa is he northern!! and that was kind of an instant comfort factor.
phil is an underrated comfort video genius like seriously... i was facing the horrors of being stuck at home for christmas with a thousand thoughts on my mind and his silly videos were like a nice patch of sunshine. i absolutely agree with dan on phil’s kind energy; he is like those nice people who come talk to you and actually try to make you laugh and feel more at ease if they notice you’re feeling shy. he kept me a LOT of company and i genuinely owe him for that. i can also tell he’s incredibly smart and creative even though his videos now are more casual; he definitely does a lot behind the scenes and he’s an excellent storyteller. i’ve later come to learn that he has also repressed a lot of things for the sake of his audience and probably dan as well, he really has a good heart. also, he resonates a lot with the autistic experience, and regardless of the reason that does make me feel happy and seen
as for dan. well! once i actually started watching his videos firsthand, dan felt like looking at a mirror, which has Impacted Me psychologically. a lot. BUT let’s get the silly stuff out of the way first i immediately understood why my friend has a crush on him 😭😭😭 like i get it!!! i can never bully them for having a crush again because i fucking get it he’s hot he knows it he carries it well! fuck!
but more than that… he immediately made me reflect on myself. i can’t get into my impressions on dan from dapg without saying first that i have had a similar journey with depression and homophobia and repressing everything and he forced me to face that i still have a lot of work to do. i didn’t realize that just knowing i’m queer and acting on it doesn’t automatically mean that i accept myself being queer. that is something that only BIG and hearing dan talk about queerness and mental health made me realize. so right after the omg funny hot nun, i had to kind of reconsider my whole life for a bit… and i’m still in the process of doing that…
more than anything, i think what i’ve felt and keep feeling watching both his older and newer videos is “god i’m so glad he’s out” and “god i’m so glad he can make art”. i just feel so proud of him, so happy he can experience life as himself, so happy that he can laugh and joke about being gay so freely, so happy he can make the art he wants and feel accepted, and so happy that he can proudly smile at his audience now, after i first heard of him as someone who was isolated and scared. again, i projected on him a lot, and i knew about his struggles beforehand, so my impressions are mostly sentimental 😭
all in all they’ve helped me immensely and made my life so much better, both as themselves with their comment and through the community they created over the years. i’ve been a lurker for the past couple of months and what made me come forward and make my own blog is the way their kindness and acceptance extends to their audience and vice versa :)
hopefully that answers your questions and i hope this wasn’t too much oversharing!! i feel like my current place in life influences how i see them and relate to them, and they also influenced me a lot and that contributes to how i perceive them, and so on. putting all these thoughts into words in one place and realizing things about myself bit by bit was really interesting; hopefully the formatting won’t kill those who try to read it. i’m sorry. i wrote this in my notes app 🫡
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I have a request please!
Could you write about Eddie dear and Frank frankly taking care of a regressed reader?
(Headcannon or fanfic I don’t mind!)
Sorry I didn’t notice I got an ask !! Im still getting used to Tumblrs interface, especially since it’s so different on my phone than my laptop (╯‿╰,)
Absolutely ! I’ll do headcanons since everything is so new, but I hope you enjoy it anon ! Hope you don’t mind that I like writing reader as a fellow puppet of the Neighborhood.
Synopsis : Frank and Eddie take care of you during dinner time and tuck you in for bed
✿ ⌂ ✿ ⌂ ✿ ⌂
✿ Just like Julie, you would consider yourself pretty good friends with Frank. You trusted him more than anyone else in the Neighborhood. So when he finally made it official with Eddie, you were over the moon for him! Now you had two besties to hang out with
✿ Most everyone knew you age regressed occasionally, heck, some of your fellow neighbors did as well ! Sally, for example, regressed like you do and made for wonderful playdates
✿ When Frank had suggested that both him and Eddie act as your caregivers, you hesitated. On one hand, it would be awesome having not one but TWO caregivers. On the other hand, you felt rather shy opening up to Eddie in such a vulnerable state.
✿ In the end though, you agreed. Frank had said that he spoke with Eddie before approaching you about it, and that the mailman was more than excited to partake. “I think it would be fun!” He had said
✿ Franks home is a nice little two bedroom house with a little office he kept for all his insect stuff. Especially his display of butterfly shadow boxes. The spare bedroom was originally a guest bedroom but doubled as the space where you and Frank would hang when regressed
✿ As the afternoon turned into evening and Eddie’s shift ended, little you and Frank waited patiently (albeit excitedly) for the mailman to come home. Dinner was around the corner and Frank had already set the table, your own colorful plastic plate and cutlery set out as well.
✿ “I’m home!” Eddie announced loudly as he entered the house. He set his satchel and hat off to the side. “Sorry if I’m a little late, I got lost delivering some of the last packages.”
✿ “Welcome Home.” Frank greeted him as well and went to give his hello kisses. You giggled at their interaction from your place at the table. “Dinners ready whenever you are.”
✿ You couldn’t help the giggles that seemed to spill out of you as you watch the two dot over eachother. It was enough to catch Eddie’s attention. “Now what this over here? Looks like someone has a case of the giggles.”
✿ “Papa gave Daddy kisses.” You said gleefully behind your hands. Eddie left Frank’s side to come over to you as he enveloped you in a hug.
✿ “And Papa gives kisses to littles too!” He said giving you quick smooches to both your cheeks. His hands found their way to your sides and before you could register what he was doing, he began to tickle you. This sent you into a raging fit of laughter, absolutely shrieking before Eddie took mercy and took his place at the table.
✿ Dinner went by normally. Frank put your food on your plastic plate, with dividers, and poured your favorite juice in a sippy cup. Eddie talked about his day and how it went and in turn ask you and Frank how yours was.
✿ “We played with Sally at her house and for lunch we had sandwiches that Miss Poppy made. It was really yummy. Then we had nap time and daddy read me the hungry caterpillar, it’s my favorite bug book.” You rambled off when it your turn to talk about your day. It was like that as everyone finished their food as Frank and Eddie started taking plates and washing them.
✿ Frank had been to worried in the past that you might accidentally cut yourself with something sharp while helping with the dishes, so he asked instead if you didn’t mind getting into your pajamas for the night. “I’m sure papa would love to see your new jammies we got from Howdys.”
✿ The idea of being able to show off your new pjs was more than enough motivation to leave to two in the kitchen as they cleaned. When you came back, they were finished and had put most of everything away.
✿ “Papa!” You had practically shouted as you came into the living room. “Look at my pjs! The stars glow in the dark!” They were indeed cute pajamas. They had a solid blue background with white stars scattered about in various sizes.
✿ “Come here,” Eddie patted the space between him and Frank on the couch. You gladly wiggled in between them to cuddle. “Why, these look spectacular! You’ll have to show me them glowing when it’s bedtime.”
✿ As you snuggled between your caretakers you felt sleep slowly but surely creep its way up as you began to yawn. Surely closing your eyes just to rest them won’t make you go to sleep. Besides, papa is telling a real interesting story (that you aren’t following) to daddy so of course you’ll stay awake.
✿ In all honesty, you only lasted for roughly half an hour, and that’s being generous. The sun had set long ago and the hour was late. “Oh dear,” Eddie said, suddenly dropping his voice to a whisper. “I believe they’ve fallen asleep.”
✿ “So they have.” Frank whispered. “Here, why don’t we take ‘em to bed.” He gently pried himself away from you, moving ever so slowly in order not to wake you. Eddie scooped you up in his strong arms, trying his best not to stir you, and carried you to the guest room.
✿ While Eddie tucked you into bed, Frank grabbed one of your stuffed animals and expertly slid it between your arms. You moved a little but it was to grasp the toy and hold it dearly. Frank plugged in a nightlight on the opposite side of the room before tiptoeing out, Eddie leaving right behind.
✿ Even though Frank had left you a nightlight, he flipped the hallway light on and left the door open a creek. He knew that you hated wondering around in the dark in case you needed something in the middle of the night.
✿ “Goodnight sleepy bug.” Eddie whispered to your sleeping form before finally taking his leave and following Frank upstairs and to their bedroom.
#wally darling#welcome home arg#frank frankly#julie joyful#sally starlet#barnaby b beagle#eddie dear#howdy pillar#poppy partridge#welcome home#welcome home agere#caregiver Frank Frankly#caregiver Eddie Dear#age regressor reader#age regressor#sfw little community#sfw caregiver#i hope you like this#I wasn’t too sure what to write tbh#but I had fun writing it regardless
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I have never asked on tumblr before, but I love all the writing, so I’ll give it my shot.
I was wondering if you could write how the companions (+ advisors if possible) reacts to The inquisitor losing their arm, either right after or when returning.
Would be a + if it’s a young inquisitor but that isn’t necessary(close to Varric) It’s kinda specific but you can do what you want, I’ll be happy either way☺️
“Companions react to Inquisitor losing their arm”
So I know most people headcannon that Solas took the Inquisitor’s arm. BUT there is also the headcanon that the LI or close friend helps cut it off, either by doing the actual chopping or helping to hold down the Inquisitor. So we gonna roll with that, except Solas who will still be stealing your arm. Here you go @i-do-love-to-kvile !
-Lord Lex
Cullen
Upon being given his position, he had made one promise that he meant to up keep: Protect the Inquisitor at all cost. Now, standing near you as you breathe heavily, the stump that once was your arm being cared for, he felt as if he had broken this promise. Later he’d look back on this moment and realize that there was nothing else he could’ve done but at the moment, he felt the weakest. He’d stay by your side, getting whatever you need and discussing with you ways to replace the arm. If anyone from the council tries to disturb you while you’re healing, they’re going to have a very angry Commander on their hands, telling them in a icy tone to “Leave. You. Be.”
Josephine
Her hands are shaking and, somewhere in the back of her mind, she realizes this is the most blood she’s ever had on her hands in her life. But she doesn’t care. She’d try to staunch the blood, calling for a healer, for anyone, just someone to help you. Josey spent so long trying to research ways to help you and prepare you for the worst but this? It was an idea which was saved only as a last resort. Even when they do get a healer, she’s still shaking and only realizing now that she’s crying. They can’t lose you. Especially with everything going on. She’s trying to keep it together and take over your duties so that there is less off of you. Anything to help you.
Leliana
As your spy master, she is seething and demanding for her people to keep an eye on you while also trying to find where Solas is. She’d be the main reason Josephine is pulled away, trying her best to keep her composure and calm down her friend while a healer attends to you. If Divine, she receives this news and rushes to your side, demanding the talks be put on hold. They’re trying to destroy the Inquisition while the Inquisitor lays bleeding out? They can go to the far reaches of the Fade. When you do heal, she tries to be comforting but also tries to get information to understand what happened (and to hunt down who caused this).
Vivienne
One of two options: either she is furious or she is shaken to her core. Either way, it’s a first for everyone seeing this side of Madam Vivienne. As soon as the word healer reaches her ears, she’s there and already putting as many healing spells into you as possible without harming you. She’s unable to save your arm but at least she’s able to stop the blood. At least she’s useful. It’s the first time in forever since the passing of her love that she’s thought that way. But even then you were there to reassure her. Now, you lay there, weak and missing a limb. She stays by your side to comfort you, talking about anything and everything other than what had just occured.
Varric
Varric always has a joke, even for the worst of events. He knew when it was a good time to tell them and when it wasn’t. This is one of those times where he doesn’t know if it’ll help. He’s seen a lot of violence in his life but it never gets easier. He’s one of the people who’d be on your opposite side, trying his damndest to distract you while the others take off your arm. He’s trying to distract you from the pain as they’re trying to heal you. Instead of looking at the worst of it, he’s trying to turn your eyes to the bright side. Maybe he can see about getting a friend of his to make a prostetic for you. Eventually it just turns to him trying to soothe it and making one more promise, the same promise he made for Hawke. He’d never let anyone hurt you again, not on his watch.
Cole
He knows you’re in pain and has tried his hardest, but can’t make it go away. He wants to help so badly, to make it all better, but it’s become more difficult now that he’s starting to be alive again. He’s trying to help where he can, whether it be staunching the blood or trying to distract you from what was about to happen. Why would Solas…? He doesn’t understand and wants to but right now, all that matters is to make you right even if you are missing a piece. Wonders why they don’t want to keep the arm. Can’t they put it back on? Or is it broken, like the original Cole?
Solas
He is full of regret. Everything. What happened to his people, what happened to the orb, his plans, the events that have happened…but you? He doesn’t know. He knows the power within the orb would be too great for you to handle, eventually overcoming you. Had he expected to grow close? He didn’t mean to and yet he did. Now, here you were in front of him, in pain and asking him to come back, saying you’d either help him or look for a peaceful option. He wants to let go, he wants to forget you…but he can’t. He can’t let his friend die now, at least not to this. Maybe one day, he’ll find you. And maybe, just maybe, he’ll ask you to forgive him.
Cassandra
One of the ones to be given the option to cut off your arm. As the Divine, it may be suggested against letting her but it comes down to her decision. You are one of her only close friends, she’d do anything to make sure you were safe and to help you in any way. Cassandra may hesitate but, in the end, she’d do it knowing how much pain you were in. As soon as the job’s done, her weapon is dropped and she’s trying to help the healer. She’s so worried, begging the Maker to let you live. It’s a first time for everything, including seeing Seeker Cassandra shed some tears as she asks you to hold on.
The Iron Bull
It’s one of those times that Bull has to separate himself from his duties. But knowing the person he’s about to chop a limb off of makes it a bit more difficult. He knows he has to do it or the stupid fade magic will kill you. He has someone near prepared to heal you and another (maybe two) to hold you down. And in one fell swoop, your arm is disconnected and he’s already checking to see if it’s stopped the progress. Probably be one of the only people who suggests against more magic being used to close your wounds and would even take it upon himself to try and patch you. Only after you’re fine does he finally let out his breath that he’d been holding.
Dorian
Like hell he was going to let you suffer. He’s ready, by your side, trying his own magic to separate the arm in the least painful way possible. As soon as it’s off, he’s using the last bit of his magic to heal you. Dorian was not about to lose someone so close to him, who had been with him through more than anyone else had. He owed you his life and he was going to make sure your help didn't go to waste. He’s trying so hard to soothe you, petting your head and trying to calm you down so that you can relax. He doesn’t want you to be in pain and it hurts to see you like this. Tires himself out putting all his magic into you, but it was worth it.
Sera
For the first time in a long time, Sera’s afraid. She’s worried. Worried for you. She’s not supposed to care about anyone but herself, yet you changed her mind. No, they can’t lose you. Not now, not after everything you’ve done for her. She still needs to pay you back. She’s trying to distract you, pointing out stupid things but immediately panics when your arm is chopped off. Your screaming causes her to scream, mainly saying “Stop panicking! It’s fine! You're fine!” Someone has to calm you both down. As soon as you're patched up and both of you are fine, she simply says “...At least you still got the right, yeah?”
Blackwall
Another one to be asked to remove it, but oh is he suffering. In no way whatsoever did he want to do anything that would hurt you nor did he want you to struggle. And one option was starting to overshadow the other. It takes him three tries to have the courage and on the third try does he slice completely through it, cringing at your screams, knowing he caused them. That was not a noise that he wanted to ever hear, having promised himself that he would never hurt the innocent again. He had to put that promise to the side to help save you. By the time you come to, he’s crying and trying to patch up your wound, asking you to forgive him.
Also, just finished this at midnight so please excuse any grammar mistakes or wonky lines. Have a good night/morning!
#dai#dragon age inquisition#inquisitor#cullen rutherford#dragon age josephine#josephine montilyet#lelianna#leliana#madame vivienne#vivienne#varric dai#varric tethras#dai cole#cole#dai solas#fenharel#cassandra#cassandra pentaghast#the iron bull#iron bull#dorian pavus#dorian#dai sera#sera#blackwall#thom rainier#angst
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Hidden Gem Friday
Hey guys! It's time for our second Hidden Gem Friday. If you don't already know the drill, here's how it works. You guys send me fics you like that have less than 2k hits on ao3 or less than 200 notes here on Tumblr, and I read them and put them out as reccs on Fridays. I also like to add in my own reccs, because there's some stuff I've read that just really needs more engagement. I really like doing this, but I have a few asks. If you read these fics, please leave a comment! Comments are the lifeblood of keeping authors invested in writing for a lot of us, and it makes us feel super happy to know people enjoyed the fics. Secondly, if you comment, let the author know where you got it from! I always love to hear I was added to a recc list. Okay Reccs under read more as always. If you want to see the others look at the tag #Hidden Gem Friday
Still So Much To Learn by BonitaBreezy recced by me. @bonitabreezy on here! 4k words (Complete)- Steddie
Summary:
Steve Harrington knows he’s stupid. Everyone has made that very clear to him. But sometimes it hurts to hear, especially from the people you love.
My Thoughts:
Ough you guysssss. Okay so I watched this being written, and I got it in bits and pieces slowly over the course of four(? maybe five) hours. It was so fucking intenseeeeeeee. This fic is really well written, and it deals with one of my favorite headcanons, and I really like that it didn't pull the usual route of 'Eddie is the only one who never calls him stupid'. I love that sm but like this is so much more realistic? These kinds of miscommunications happen allllllll the time, and we do things and say things we don't mean, and I just yeah everyone should read this one!!!!!
Go At Your Own Pace by Cardigains recced by @andrea-csenge 17k words (Complete)- Gen El focused
Summary:
“Write down three things,” Hopper says, ducking his head to catch her eye. “Three things you want to make happen this year, and we’ll do everything in our power to help you. How about that?”
or
New place, new school, not new but new-together parents—after last year, El is more than happy to let the world pass her by from the safety inside of their home, but her friends and family have different ideas. How they work to prove to El she is not alone and can succeed at anything she sets her mind to.
My Thoughts
This one is really really good. It's canon to season four ending, and I didn't even have time to doubt, because this El is so good. This is an El who is past the traumatic events, but still impacted by them. She feels older but still El? I love it. All of the characters are super realistic, amazing jopper, WONDERTWINS, it's all jsut really well written, and it floooooows god does this flow. It is awesome
uh-oh, love comes to town by 96 tears recced by @daysarestranger 13k words (Complete)- Steddie w side of Robin/Vickie
Summary:
It’s not like Steve thought Eddie would stay single forever, but he figured he’d have a girlfriend by the time Eddie got a boyfriend. So, when Vickie and Robin set Eddie up on a blind date with Vickie’s cousin, Steve figures he feels weird about it because he’s the only one without a date.But an annoying little voice starts telling him maybe there’s more to it than that. He just has to figure out what it is.
My Thoughts:
This one is so fricken sweet!! I love the way Vickie is characterized in this one, we don't see her a lot (except for people saying her and Robin didn't work) but this person took the time to think about it. There's also a good dollop of QPR stobin which I always love, and a badass little granny for Steve, but the main thing here is the awesome Steddie! It's really well written, you an see them doing this complicated little dance around each other and the ending is so so sweet. It's also really funny I laughed at least three times
down on the timeline by annabeeus recced by @silverysnake 6k words (Complete)- Steddie with Ronance and a little Jargyle
Summary:
In a slightly altered universe where the Demogorgon never became more than a D&D character - The Party are semi-famous Youtubers. Steve, one-half of movie commentary channel BLOCKBUSTERS, and Eddie, the leader of D&D channel THE HELLFIRE SOCIETY, can't help but start falling for each other after meeting through a mutual friend.
My thoughts:
I always wanna try to be honest with my thoughts here- I did not think I was going to like this story. The way it was formatted isn't something I'm used to and it threw me off, but I stuck with it and I'm glad I did! It's really funny, and I love the little references thrown in everywhere. You know when you can feel an author probably worked harder on something then they initially planned, and the result is fucking awesome? Yeah that's this fic. It's super cute, it's told in this really unique kind of outsider perspective, and I so so enjoyed it.
i wish i knew how (your eyes are like starlight now) by MacksDramaticShenanigans aka @stevethehairington this one is also a me recc bc it's my list! I can do as I please haha. 10k words (Complete)- Steddie
Summary:
“Mistletoe!” Robin cheers, and Steve’s heart stutters so hard in his chest that he thinks it might crack his ribcage and drop right out the bottom of his stomach.
His eyes fly up, and, sure enough, there hangs one of the many sprigs hung all around the apartment. Small and inconspicuous, but unmistakable. That ridiculous little plant has no idea that it’s just turned Steve’s entire world on its axis.
Across from him, Eddie’s eyes are trained up too, big and round and wide where they stick on the mistletoe. His lips are parted in surprise, and Steve can’t help but stare and think am I going to kiss those now?
When Eddie finally tears his gaze from the plant and lets it flicker down to Steve, a pretty pink dusting blooms across the bridge of his nose and spreads into the apples of his cheeks when he finds Steve already looking back.
Steve spares the mistletoe one last quick peek before he takes a deep breath and steels himself. This is it. He sticks his hands on his hips, aiming for casual, and asks, “What do you say, Munson?”
Or, Steve makes a promise, Robin likes to meddle, and the spirit of Christmas strikes (out) again. And again. And again.
(Until it doesn’t.)
My Thoughts:
Okay I'm going to be frank I may be biased bc I betad this fic, except I'm not because it's so goddman spectacular. I'll start with how funny it is. I reread it today to have it fresh in my mind, and it's hilarious. Secondly the reveal and the moment where Steve thinks Eddie doesn't want him is so quietly heartbreaking, but perfectly written. Characterization is awesome, I watched every iteration of this as it grew and grew into something absolutely magnificent, and I'm so lucky to have gotten to beta for it!!
#hidden gem friday#fic rec#steddie fic recs#steddie fic#stranger things fic rec#Steve harrington#Eddie munson#steddie#Jonathan byers#Nancy wheeler#eleven hopper#eleven st#robin buckley#ronance#QPR stobin#platonic soulmates steve and robin#platonic soulmates stobin#Liam speaks up
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Life/Blog(??) Update:
hello again my darlings💕💕
i know it's been a couple weeks since you guys heard from me(i keep doing a disappearing act on you fjsks sorry about that) and i know i've worried a few people. i finally felt like i had enough mental/emotional space to address everyone again - however long or short this period of activity ends up being - so i'm here to say i've been dealing with some stuff in my personal life that's kept me from being present on this blog. my hopes are that i'm coming to the tail end of The Current Life Mess™ but if that doesn't end up happening, i wanted to at least leave some sort of 'official' explanation here.
regarding CTF, i'm still very much working on it so there are no worries on that front. obviously the next chapter/s update is gonna come later than what i'd originally planned (april-may? who was i kidding omggg) but hey, that's life🙃🤷🏻♀️ trust me i'm not happy about it either (very cringe behavior from me being this late ugh) but i wanted to be transparent abt the delays bc this community has been nothing but kind and generous and patient and i didn't want to leave you guys hanging dry just completely clueless about everything🥹
in the couple weeks i've been inactive my askbox has filled up again and i'll try to get to answering those very soon. thank you again to everyone for being so patient with me, i appreciate every single question/comment/rant very Very Much😭💕
on a final note, and perhaps the most important thing out of this whole post - there's a good possibility that i'll be privating Fire Made Flesh and Courting the Flame in the next few days. all this stuff around AI/ChatGPT has been making me anxious for a while. the amount of entitlement that's been increasingly pervading creative and/or fandom spaces is very concerning to me and it should be concerning to everyone else if it isn't already. i haven't encountered any problems (that i know of) with my own works or from any one of you lovelies(💕💕) but all the same, i've come to a point where i don't feel comfortable risking it. i know making my fics available to only registered ao3 users doesn't completely prevent this from happening, but i'll take any stopgap i can right now until the OTW does smth about what's happening. i might change my mind in the future and make FMF/CTF publicly available again for a short time (ultimately that is how they can get the most visibility) especially when i update CTF but, for now, that won't be the case. i'm mentioning this for transparency but also bc i know not everyone has an account and i wanted to give you guys the time to take whatever measures you need to have access to the fics, whether that's making an account or just downloading them. i also wanted to mention it bc i know not all of my readers has a tumblr/knows i'm on here so i thought you guys could help spread the word. (i'll be adding a short mention of this to the ending author's note of CTF ch 2 as well don't worry)
wanted to say thank you to everyone again, i love all of you and i hope you're healthy and happy♥️💖 stay amazing my darlings💕
sincerely, your wife😚❤️🔥
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not sure if i already did this before here, but consider this a formal introduction to the transfer of my twitter media thread to tumblr. and im starting it with a really special one!!!
Tonight............. i finished Super Lesbian Animal RPG by Bobby Schroeder (@ponett / @slarpg) with my friends. I shared the experience with two who had played the game already, and another who was as blind as me.
i will say without going into at all, but if you are a gay furry (especially trans) and love stuff like sonic, or MLP:FiM, or just gay fantasy in general, go play this game. It's REALLY GOOD! going in blind was a treat. That being said, here's my thots.................. theres a LOT!!!!!
i didn't actually find out about SLARPG until i began reading the sonic archie comics a year or so back. i needed a reading order and by GOD did I find one. not to start this post about slarpg with a ramble about sonic archie, but it was genuinely such a great read, and all the stuff on Thanks, Ken Penders ( @thankskenpenders ), made it all the more enjoyable! that ASIDE it's also how i saw the author of the blog, who i realized i was following already for awhile, was making her own game! and one so shamelessly gay and furry as well! i was INSTANTLY interested...
after the game came out, it took me awhile to get around to it. it wasn't until someone very close to me got really into it that i decided i'd commit the time. it took 20 hours of gay activity, but i started it having silly fun voice acting a bunch of animals with my friends, and ended with tears in my eyes and love in my heart.
the game is written in a way that just gels perfectly with me. everything is both very casual feeling, but also genuine. it's never really ashamed of what it is, and that's all i can ask for from a game with a name like Super Lesbian Animal RPG.
The characters are easily the highlight of the game, never once feeling like simple cutouts or stereotypes. Everyone is just a delight to read. My favorites were easily Melody, Allison, and the man himself Javis. Being a gay ADHD filled bunny with a love for hitting things with sticks and hammers, Allison especially spoke to me.
The world of SLARPG is only seen through a small vertical slice, with the vastness left to your mind, which works very well in its favor. Slowly as you explore the areas your presented, you learn more and more about the world just through your own intuition. Discover the races that live on the planet, where the characters all came from to get here, the power structures put into place, how magic has effected such a modernized world. It makes you want to learn so much more, really. I found myself really interested in the vague lore we get of the supposed Gods that make up the powers of the world, which I hope can be further expanded on one day.
As a Video Game(tm), id say it does exactly what it sets out to do. I'm an RPG Girl, i love Figuring Shit Out in them. I play them headfirst and love to make strategies for silly bosses especially. SLARPG is a RPGM VX Ace game that doesn't exactly do anything CRAZY, as much as it does use its platform incredibly well. It is a SOLID RPG, it sets out to have a concise and simple battle system, with a lot of fun tools to play with. Even if I recognize all the scripts being used, how they get used always felt great. There were very few slipups in the way the game was put together when i played too, which as an RPGM dev, is always impressive to see. I think my only point of contention while playing was the random encounters getting a bit monotonous near the final stretch of the game, and the bosses being a bit too easy for my liking, but otherwise, mwah great rpg!!
one of the BIGGEST highlights, outside of the writing, is the amazing art, and i really mean it!! EVERY character has an amazingly cute character portrait, and every single sprite is so full of life! the backgrounds/tilesets tend to take the cake though, some of the best I've seen in a game like this personally. The dungeons are incredibly visually striking, and every single character design sticks in my head as memorable. MAJOR props to Javis and all his boys too. god bless those freaks.
and finally, i can talk about the writing in specific. it is... special. and i mean that in the best way i can. the story is pretty simple. Melody Amaranth and her girlfriend Allison Goleta join their friends guild to go on adventures, and are granted magic by their mage using a forbidden ritual. From there, hijinks ensue, involving a sociopathic VHS headed cipher-like individual, the worlds most jerkish butch, and a proclaimed Goddess of Magic coming for YOU!!! Despite all that though, the story to me felt focused much more on the relationship between the protagonists. Especially Melody and Allison.
I'm not sure how much I could go into specifics from memory alone, but it is... really good, what they do with the two main girls. Exploring the ways relationships blossom and mend. It's never all drama, nor is it all flowers. It's very real feeling. I connected to it a lot, in ways I never thought I could. Recently, I've been re-exploring my sexuality, what I want in romance, if I can even FEEL romance. This game helped a lot. It helped me be a lot more honest about my feelings, and let myself open up a lot more.
It wasn't just Melody and Allison either, there's multiple other great relationships in the games story. They're ALL adorable, and ALL amazingly written. We see a perfect mix of childhood love, new love, and trained love, each one shown with both strain, and triumph. As a girl who longingly read countless yuri manga and scoured plenty of garbage yuri anime as a kid desperately looking for something I could see myself in... and then this game comes along not only with that amazing representation, but two of the main characters are like VOCALLY transgender!! they don't play around SHTI!! This game is like a cup of cold, refreshing, root beer. god BLESS!!!!!
im about done rambling now though. if you got this far reading and still havent played slarp, WHATRE U WAITING FOR!!! GO KISS SOME GIRLS!!! GOD BLESS!!!!!!!
ADDENDUM: THE MUSIC FUCKS HARD AND CRAZY STYLE I ALMOST FORGOT EVEN AS THE TUNES PLAY IN MY HEAD!! THIS SHIT IS SOME REAL VGM CLASSICS OF ALL TIME
#bunny media bin#one of many to come#please play this game#sorry the next one of these will probably be about one piece netflix. i will be watching
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Thanks for sharing and confirming that my instincts were right. I always tend to trust my gut feelings about people but sometimes I wonder if I should. Well, once again, it seems that I, indeed, should. Now I have to be honest, I never gave much credit to wsj, I ended up unfollowing cause I wasn’t interested in her posts anymore at some point, I really don’t trust people claiming they know stuff about celebrities and posting it on the internet, everybody can pretend to be xyz, unless there’s some solid proof I chose to remain skeptical (I did see a few stuff, tough nothing groundbreaking, from the k-side that I trust though, so maybe she was right). That being said, it’s Tumblr, it’s more private that Twitter, we’re a smaller community, so I don’t see any harm in people sharing what they want to share on their own blog. Just move on and ignore if you don’t like. The campaign against her and other bloggers was disgusting. Let ppl speak on their own tiny corner ffs, if don’t agree you can expose your arguments, have a discussion or unfollow and block. As long as they don’t cross a line I don’t see the problem. I’m seriously done with the holier than thou woke bs attitude. It’s all about virtue signaling these days, showing how you’re so much better and morally pure, and you know everything better than the rest of the plague… give me a break. Also the discussion around jealousy and constant dismissing of k-army and korean dating culture was quite something… because as someone who comes from a country where the dating culture differs a lot with the American/western perspective, where a drop of jealousy and possessivity is considered as a normal display of affection - I’m not talking about excessive and toxic behavior obviously!! - the blatant ignorance and constant undermining of korean dating culture that is quite similar to mine in that regard really annoyed. me. so. freaking. much. It’s deemed as a big no-no in your culture, okay, I get it, but you’re not better than us who thinks that in many cases it’s not that big of deal and, in Jikook case, was quite revealing in the past. Sorry I’m going all over the place, I’ll shut up now!
Ha ha haaa... no, dont even worry about it. Its fine. Thing is though, the Jeonlous/Jimlous thing IS indeed quite exergerrated. Most of the compilations are rubbish. And I can see why most people hate it. Including Regina George. I get that. But it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Especially in the case of other people who are not members. My mind immediately goes to the Sean Mendez interaction. 🤭🤭🤭
(TT is accurate has not been manipulated in any way)
JK almost bulldozed RM and downright ignored him in his rush to get to Jimin. It's actually hilarious 😂😂 Now this can be classified as jealousy. But when it comes to members I don't think that's what that is at all. Annoyance, Irritation, maybe? because he can't do to Jimin what others can. But definitely not jealousy. Either way whatever it is, it happens and denying it is stupid.
As for WSJ I don't see why the notion that an Army personally knows BTS is so hard to believe. Normal people know celebrities all the time. That being said, my issue with everyone who went after her was the hypocrisy. WSJ was very careful not to tell us anything incriminating. And everything else she ever said were things we already knew.
-Jikook is real
-Jikook live together
-Vminkook have issues
Etcetera, Etcetera. These are things we already know. She was just confirming. And she wasn't even worse than us Jikookers. And i said as much to Stormie when she made that shady post. We are the ones talking about Jikook 18+ moments and posting about them. So anyone thinking they have a leg to stand on are being hypocrites. 🖕🏽
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My top BL-Series Of 2022
Hello my fellow Bl-fans. The girls/ gays and theys obviously won this year, so let’s look back on our blessings 😃
I’m not spoiling anything or I’m trying not to, let’s go 🚶🏻♀️
1. KinnPorsche
This doesn‘t come surprising, does it? I remember how I lived week to week back then and the mafia topic was still kind of new and oh so exciting. Enough sexyness, earnestness and humour gave this series a well rounded outcome. There were still holes in the plot here and there but where weren‘t any this year? Let‘s move on. (Waiting for season 2)
2. Semantic Error
My god, these two held me by my throat in the beginning of this year, you couldn‘t help but immediately fall in love with them. It was a successful series and I hope Jaechan and Seoham will do another project in the future, but I don’t think so as of now.
3. Young Royals 2
Another Wilmon gold piece produced, which plot went smooth and showed progress over the episodes. It’s still very short for such an amazing piece and I miss Wilmon almost all of the time, but I‘ll gladly wait for season 3.
4. The Eclipse
The portraying of strong queers went WILD with this one. How Akk got weak in the knees because of Ayan had me gushing over them every week. The plot is lacking a little tho since some points weren’t finished/ worked on properly and Thua..no, just no. Neo looked so dann handsome in his role though and did such a good job with Louis!
5. Between Us
It‘s not finished yet and the plot seems to move too slow atm, but boy, Win is the consent king of this year and is doing the work for every bl character this year that couldn’t do the bare minimum. *COUGH*LITA*COUGH*
We also got a P‘Deeaan~ and the UWMA throwback is nice and so well done from this perspective.
6. Cutie Pie
Nunew and Zee feeding the sub bottom/ dom top fetish/ height difference fetish well 😂 I didn’t like the bff side couple that much and sometimes the corny plot was too much, but the acting was well done.
7. My School President
I can’t believe either that this is in my list already BUT IT IS MAKING ME FEEL THINGS THAT COME CLOSE TO THE THINGS I FELT WHILE WATCHING BAD BUDDY. It is super cute now, not like you think at the beginning and I can’t wait for a new episode. The fandom posts here on Tumblr are also 😘👌🏻
8. Never Let Me Go
This one is also here already. Can’t say much except for the acting that has improved for both Pond and especially Phuwin, my little guy grew up.
9. Blueming
One of the best k-bls this year, hands down. Story, aesthetics, just everything.
10. 180 Degrees Longitude Passes Through Us
"You ask me what I‘m thinking about, I tell you that I’m thinking about whatever you’re thinking about“ it’s DADDY ISSUES, everyone! We all needed a series like this. It was slow-paced and kind of clickbait, but the aesthetic shots made up for that. Nothing made up for the one of a hell annoying mother tho. I also didn’t know any of the actors before even though they seem quite famous.
Very honorable mentions:
Plus And Minus (best Taiwanese bl, still not over the cameo)
Star In My Mind (the Joong-flavour)
My Only 12% (good worked out plot, good acting, angsty season)
Enchanté (the end omg 🤦🏻♀️, Force is one handsome dude)
Old Fashion Cupcake & Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice (best of Japan this year)
My Secret Love (preferred the second couple)
Cherry Magic The Movie (😍 I missed them and WEDDIIIIING)
Big Dragon (…they could improve the plot for season 2)
Love Mechanics (the kinda non-con at the end turned me off and it wasn’t my favourite story to begin with)
Eternal Yesterday (I should‘ve watched the trailer, I didn’t expect THAT 😂 but it was still good)
To My Star 2 (at first I thought we didn’t need the angst, but we kind of did)
Vice Versa (good story, mediocre acting, not my favorite couple except for the lesbians 😏)
Cupid’s Last Wish (…we didn’t need that, but EarthMix we did)
Kissable lips (I’m happy that the actors still work together, but it was mediocre)
About Youth (can’t remember anything, but it was good 😶)
My Tooth Your Love (cute and the couples slayed)
Magic Of Zero (🥹 EarthMix and MilkLove)
Secret Crush On You (super corny and mediocre acting, but the topics they handled and how they handled them!! Rare occasion)
The Tuxedo (pretty actors and an okay plot)
The Miracle Of Teddy Bear (not my cup of tea, but I’m happy it was kinda famous in Thailand)
Not so honorable mentions:
Minato’s Laundromat (did turn me off and also non-con)
A Man Who Defies The World Of BL 2 (it was probably decent, but I can’t remember one second of it 😫, I’m getting old)
Ocean Likes Me (cute and HOLLAND💓💓💓💓💗 but we didn’t need that)
Cherry Blossoms After Winter (the non-con destroyed it)
Our Days (I don’t know what the person ate that made the plot go this way)
Check Out (we all know why this is here, I can watch porn instead, thanks)
Close Friend 2 (oh we didn’t need that as well)
Love In The Air (kinda non-con and Mame can’t live without rape in a plot, sorry not sorry)
Oh!My Sunshine Night ( I started this series and stopped after two episodes since it was boring, sorry OhmFluke)
War Of Y (started off good, but went downhill pretty fast. Been skipping the last few weeks through the episodes)
Love Victor 3 (not sure where to put this honestly. I loved 1&2, but this was a back and forth, which is normal for teenagers, but I think this wasn’t it for me)
Mr. Cinderella (finally a Vietnamese bl, but not my cup of tea)
Heartstopper (kinda overhyped, plot didn’t get me, boring 😶)
Note at the end: Look how far we’ve come! It’s sad bl’s with lots of sex scenes get the most attention, I recommend everyone to just watch porn if you’re thinking a series/ movie is bad/ not enough because there is not enough bed sports displayed. If you’re an adult, you must know there are relationships that aren’t only in for the sex. (Since I’ve seen enough people saying you’re not a couple when you’re not having sex, BULLSHIT YOU F***ING CHILDREN)
Thanks for coming to my rant. Let’s hope for a better 2023!
#kinnporsche#semantic error#the eclipse#young royals#between us#cutie pie#my school president#never let me go#blueming#180degreelongitudepassesthroughus#thai bl
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was wondering if u have any dabi / touya fic recs i want to tell u i really enjoy ur works “nice to meet u” makes my heart drop down to my stomach nd i can feel my heartbeat thrum throughout my whole body ..i love your writing i visit it every night thank yiu for everything ^_^
ah — you're so sweet !! 🥺 i'm so thankful that you enjoy it, i really appreciate you reading my things and for stopping by !!
i don't have too many but !! here are some, in no particular order !!
viewfinder by rotpeach on ao3
i've already gone off on this fic before, but i genuinely think about it all the time. all the time. i will never get over how the first line made me feel, how awestruck i was at the concept of the story, and then how moved i was at the end, with the reveal. this fic makes me so — hmm — i really felt present in the reader. like i felt like i was going through life and these different stages of a relationship with dabi, idk ! definitely recommend !
kingdom of ashes by shibaraki on tumblr
i just recently found this fic and was so — uh, what ! bc i have thought to myself, what would a royal au look like with dabi ? bc i love to write royal au's and have considered them with, like, just about everyone LOL but could not picture one for dabi ! and this fic was so true to his character, i think, which i really appreciate. there's such a — idk, his personality is written so well here and it really carries throughout the story and setting. i also love arranged marriage au's so akfhkahfau the pining the angst the payoff woof.
take care by missmeinyourbones on tumblr
this fic is actually so cute ! i am such a softie for, like, dabi taking care of us. bc so many fics have us taking care of him — which, no hate, bc it is such a perfect position to put him in — and it was so nice to see it flipped ! he's trying so hard 🥺 and it's so sweet to see him attempting 🥺 especially bc — how long has it been since someone has taken care of him like this ? how much of this is he just kind of wading through, unsure of where to go or how to help or what to do next ? ah — so sweet !
heaven for nonbelievers by hawnks on tumblr
this is another fic that i have droned on and on about and also a fic i have thought about over and over again LOL one thing that i really love about this fic is something that i think is so rarely conveyed correctly ? by me especially, but: despite dabi and everything that he is and everything that he stands for and everything that he's done — at the core of it all, who is there to take care of you when you can't take care of yourself ? (just now realizing this is another care fic LOL) it just makes me feel so, idk, conflicted. bc you can believe in the heroes or you can believe in the villains, but at the end of the day, this is the person that makes sure you're fed, you know what i mean ? see, even i can't convey what is being conveyed here LOL but it's so good !
higher than the mountain, deeper than the sea by phen0l on ao3
oooohhh my god, i do not know where to begin. first of all — you need to seriously consider the warning tags for this fic, and if it is not your cup of tea, then please move on.
i am feral over this. i am studying it as if it were a holy text — which is kind of funny to say, given the tags LOL but no seriously, i. how do i say this. if if he's a serial killer was my tiny garden that i had grown in my backyard, then this fic is the entire field in the valley that is producing the best crops in the state. does that make sense as a metaphor ? idk ! but what i'm trying to say is that — this fic is everything that i wish if he's a serial killer could have been, and i kind of hate to say that bc i hate to keep bringing myself up LOL but it's bc of mao and her talent that this fic has such a special place inside my heart. i just think it is such an incredible deep dive into dabi's character and how love would make sense in his mind, and i think his relationship with the reader is very important and — sad to say — so fitting, maybe ? bc of the way they grew up, and it's just so well written and the depth of meaning and emotion and metaphor and symbolism that is woven so gracefully into the bones of the story. like. insanity. talent on another level. this isn't even half of what i could say about this fic, but it will definitely be in my compiled '22 rec list, so prepare for the novel that i will write at that time LOL
#thank you for checking in on me — how lovely of you !#your message is so sweet !#i hate to keep bringing myself up when i write these out but it's like#this is why they mean so much to me ! — if that makes sense LOL#✿ ask willow#✿ recs
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I don’t want this to take away from the current discussion on my blog and will be reblogging my other two posts again after this is posted but I just needed to expose this clown before I left for my hiatus (post on that will be up soon!)
It's also a good laugh and a good way for me to decompress after the last two days we've had on this blog so that I would be able to be more present to answer future incoming asks. So enjoy me clowning on this hater [also ya non-binary pal has logged off for the time being - enjoying their lunch and watching Barbie so this post, my next post and reblogs are queued!]:
Here is the text for everyone (I know the pic is quite tiny sorry!):
For someone who spends there days writing essays about how much they hate everything and everyone except Simone you can’t write fanfic can you? 😂 so not only are you a bully who now has some sort of fetish for hating strangers especially if they’re white you also can’t write fanfic 😬 yikes. I mean I didn’t expect anything less from you
Let’s unpack this, shall we?
“They hate everything and everyone except Simone”
Also first off, actually even though this is hate, I’m so glad you used the correct pronouns I appreciate that but now that’s cleared up, back to clowning on you.
UM WHERE??? I literally love the whole cast, the only one I dislike and have since lost respect for is Nicola and I’ve never been quiet about why - she has committed and fuelled microaggressions against her co-stars of colour and as a person of colour myself, I CANNOT in good conscious still support and admire someone like that. I am allowed to dislike celebrities who have a big platform if I don’t agree with their beliefs and the way they treat people right? We’re still in a time where we hold celebrities accountable, yes???
you can’t write fanfic can you?
That’s YOUR opinion, my AO3 numbers - which you have prolly seen, stalker - and my other fanfic’s numbers say otherwise.
This is 499K (give or take for rereads) number of people who disagree with you and numbers don’t lie anon. Also if you didn’t like my fic, then don’t read it??? It’s clearly not for you??
so not only are you a bully who now has some sort of fetish for hating strangers especially if they’re white
WHOOO am I bullying?? Nicola Coughlan?? She doesn’t even know I exist!! Also here’s a mirror, dear anon. Read back your comment, who’s the one doing the bullying? Also “especially if they are white” I’m sorry most of the racists and bloggers I’ve encountered who have used microaggressions have happened to be white, is that my fault?? Did I birth them??
Also ewwww I do not sexually get off on hating people, that’s gross. Please go get a dictionary and look up the word fetish please.
We already covered you saying I can’t write fanfic, again the 499K number of people disagree. My my, you are repetitive, aren’t you.
I mean I didn’t expect anything less from you
Cool story and I said what I said bro. You seemed to have already have made up your mind about me, so just block me and move on. Why go find my AO3 to leave a message there when you can just drop a good ole hate anon on Tumblr. Like you really took time out of your day, found a way to leave anon messages (I don’t use AO3 a lot so if this is common knowledge oop) and then left that on my fic in an attempt to hurt me.
You really thought you did something huh, when in fact if everyone will look at the timestamp on the pic (would have taken a bigger close up of a screenie but I had to report that comment as spam asap), it says: 28th Jul 2022, 11:27PM UTC which was at 7am for me who even is up at that time? Not me. Anyways yes, this person thought they knew me sooo well to be able to read me for filth (which they also failed to do so) but didn’t realise I’m barely on AO3 so I only saw this only A WHOLE MONTH LATER which makes me laugh harder.
Anyways anon whoever you are, you titled your comment as “Sanji Is A Bully Who Can Dish It But Can’t Take It”, well you’re a -10 but can’t come off anon to tell me all of this to my face so,,,
After all is said and done, thank you for the month old laugh before I leave and again I really do appreciate you not misgendering me and using the wrong pronouns! That’s exactly how hate should be, “Imma disrespect them as a person and their writing but not their pronouns!!”
[Btw that above sentence is not an invite to send more hate, anything else moving forward will be reported, blocked and deleted. This was just funny to respond to and helped me refocus my mind from burnout so I can be more present for the upcoming conversations!]
Oh and I made a meme for this occasion, while a month late it still works:
Nonsense being anon hate of course but I'm pretty surprised I went unscathed this long. It's been 34 days without any, so thanks anon you broke the streak sigh shame on you.
[Though if we count when they sent it, it's only 9 days but nah they don't count in the famous words of Colin so 34 days it is! It's funnier too nsjdksk]
Anyways back to the usual programming and reblogging my last few asks before I head off to my hiatus! Hope yall had a laugh too from this 😂
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Cecil wasn't entirely a joke and uh... Dashcon? Like a running scam? I don't know that either (let me introduce you to someone who lived under a rock in the early 10s
To be fair with you, yeah, those were like, ten years ago, it's obscure knowledge from this website's weird culture ten years ago and it's difficult to really hold you up against that. It was just so. So surprising to me DLKFJDFKL
and oooh boy. Dashcon has been pretty infamous even outside of tumblr so i thought at least this would help situate it but man.
So it was in 2014 or something? a group started to express the idea of making a Tumblr Convention, which would be called Dashcon. This con was supposed to happen in a grand venue, with an hotel nearby, and was supposed to invite a lot of what made tumblr famous at the time. Teenagers from tumblr were encouraged to come to the convention, promised a lot of activities and being able to meet up with a lot of the stars we were talking about a lot.
This... dashcon was a complete catastrophe. Further down the line we learnt that into the organization group, most of them had given up all the management to the youngest of its members who got easily overwhelmed, which eventually led to everything at this con going incredibly wrong.
None of the people invited to the con showed up, wtnv especially after their fees were left unpaid. Only the tumblrian folks that came to it.
There was no activity. The venues were mostly empty. But hey, there was a ballpit!
... yeaaah so, huh, that wasn't so great. (someone peed in the ballpit too, we learnt. The people who went to dashcon liveblogged it and those of us who stayed at home saw the horror unfold for them, and the "guys be careful someone peed in the ballpit" was one of those horrors that is still circulating on this website today)
At some point during the first day of the convention, "the hotel" they were staying at asked them additional fees of 70k $ that had to be paid under an hour or else everyone would be kicked out. As i remind you, a lot of the people who came to Dashcon were teenagers. Not exactly people who had a lot of $$$ in hand.
Mind you, they needed this money raised for the next days of the conventions, where they were still promising a wtnv liveshow to happen, while at this point the wtnv cast were already no longer involved with the project.
But don't worry, it was promptly replaced as the day went on with conference about why Bullying Was Wrong and How To Deal With Cyberbullying, and all that jazz.
This con was a complete disaster and went down in history as "this is what happens when tumblr gets too high with their own importance" or something. I think that's pretty unfair imo, because it was clearly more made from people who tried to exploit all of this and basically destroyed any sense of community that were at the time.
Ofc it's not that simple but it was one of the big moment of this website with like, the Mishapocalypse from 2012 (do you know about it. Or am i just doing a One Thousand Nights thing of teasing you tumblr history each post at this point.)
I think if you want to look deeply into it, Sarah Z made a decent video kinda digging into the details of this mess while also keeping it far less scattered than i did.
This is one of the pillar of the history of this website and i still see people talking about it everytime there's a failed convention somewhere. Like when the Frye Festival happened (some type of music festival on an island mainly targetting rich people that was extremely mismanaged, empty, and had people left to their own device), i've seen a hundred of memes about how it was "Dashcon for instagram and rich people". You will regularly see a ballpit edited into the pictures of such events.
So yeah.... history. I guess.
#you have to realize though that it's making me feel so old suddenly ALKDJFLKDJFLD#like godspeed you can't know those stuff i totally get it#but also man i've been long enough to have been here when it happened#wild as hell#ichareply#anonymous
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hi!! I just read the new chapter of sleep awake and I'm just like, photosynthesizing?? Because it was so good and it kept me on edge the whole time?? /pos
like I'm in love with how you write the reader because they're so unique and the way they've grown is just incredible. You see them go from not living for themselves *to* finally living for themselves, if that makes sense. It was just so obvious that the reader just needed a certain "push" so that they can grow into their own person and so many people has helped them do that and it's just so sweet to see the reader like make friends with everyone and start living for themselves y'know. I love the reader's friendships with everyone and most importantly Kokichi and the reader's relationship. I love how everyone around them just kinda like sees that something is going on between them especially that one scene where Shuichi finds the reader in the library after the whole korekiyo trial. (sorry just tryna make this spoiler free as best as I can-) I just adore this book sm. The lastest chapter was so nerve racking because I was just like "oh god what if kokichi comes back and sees reader-" but Luckily that didn't happen- I love that the reader also came up with a plan on their own because that's just so girlboss of them. I will admit though that I am very scared about the upcoming trials especially with chapter 4, 5, and 6 because there's just gonna be so much happening and I'm excited to see how the reader is gonna react to it all, especially chapter 4 but man let me tell you how pumped I am for chapter 5 for obvious reasons. I don't know if you plan on changing that trial up but it doesn't matter because it's gonna be so fucking good and like I said before, seeing the reader react to it all is always gonna be on my mind and I can't wait to see how it all ends. I always remember you saying you were gonna change up chapter 6 which is also gonna be in my mind too because that's something that's obviously gonna make me on the edge of my seat. Oh and I can't forget about the aftermath of the game too, that's gonna be fucking exciting to see as well. Anyways this book has made me love Kokichi even more than I already do and now I'm kinda starting to like Kaito more too. Oh and I can't help but think about how Kokichi is feeling as well, especially after korekiyo's trial, we all know Kokichi hates killing but since *Spoilers* the reader did it in self defense you can't exactly blame them, and im sure Kokichi knows that. If the reader didn't fight back they would've been killed and I'm sure that Kokichi wouldn't want that either, which is why his feelings are probably all like "jsjsjfjsjdjcndb" if that makes sense- and the reader is to conflicted about their feelings, not only for Kokichi but also for their whole plan and stuff. My theory is that if everything stays the same in chapter 5, they're gonna finally realize their feelings for Kokichi. (which is ansgty but yolo-) because in the story they get asked if they like Kokichi but you don't see the reader really giving a yes or no answer, which is why I think they're confused, and they also mentioned that they never liked anyone in that way before which is also gonna make you confused once you actually do start catching feelings for a person. I just can't get over how amazingly written they're dynamic is and I can't wait to see more of them together. And writing this while listening to "I won't say I'm in love" is giving me a bit of kokichi x reader vibes-
Anwyays again I'm sorry for ranting again, I'm the one who asked if kokichi was the love interest in the story and that was also the night I spent reading it all which was a very fun way to spend my night. I don't really feel comfortable with turning off anonymous so I was wondering if you do things like *insert emoji* anon like I've seen other blogs do-? I'm still a bit new to Tumblr-
oh wow, thank u so so much. i just. wow. this comment is os long n in depth im gna try to respond to everything u have said!!
the reader in this story is like. unspeakably important to me because in a lot of ways they represent myself and the kind of journey i wish that i could realistically go through. i dont wanna get too deep into it or make it angsty but i will say that a lot of the stuff they struggle w reflects my own state of mind a lot of the time n i justttt. find it very comforting n overwhelming that their struggle resonates with u too. im very glad their journey seemed somewhat poignant to you, because i rly did put a lot of work into make it realistic and cathartic.
im super super excited for the second half of this story!! i have a fuckton of ideas bouncing around that i really need to nail down and start making a plan that isn't just a skeleton plot but im mainly focused on chapter four for now? i will definitely say that the end of chapter four will be a major turning point for the story, in terms of the reader and their relationships with everybody. and without spoiling anything the end of chapter four and chapter five has the potential to be the darkest the story has ever gone imo? idk if i'm decided on what EXACTLY is going to happen but yeah, it'll be pretty messed up im sure.
you're pretty spot on with kokichi's feelings for the reader regarding after korekiyo's trial. he's basically in the midst of a major conflict and i guess undergoing the kind of ephiphany he never really had to face in the game? we know that he detests killing and sees it pretty unanimously as indefensible, which IS a fairly naive mindset in the grand scheme of things (which is why i love kaito calling kokichi naive in chapter two and kokichi just being. fucking flabbergasted. because as much as he is smart and perceptive he IS kind of naive in the sense of moral compass). it's also theorised that kokichi let himself die in chapter 5 because he couldn't rly cope with the guilt of what he did to gonta and miu which is maybe something i'm going to touch on a little? idk, some of the brilliance of his character relies on the ambiguity of it. so we will see.
but pretty much, there was nobody kokichi truly trusted in the real game. shuichi was the closest but even then it couldn't have been worth much, kokichi never went to him for help or told him any of his real plan, his ultimate hamartia and cause of his downfall. BUT of course the reader has become that for him, they are probably the closest he has gotten to trusting anybody in this game and he's shown his hand to them a lot and grown to genuinely care for them, and now they have in his eyes done the worst thing imaginable. so he's in a place of trying to reconcile that i think. i know he's been fairly absent for a couple of chapters but this storyline of how he's feeling will get a lot of clarity pretty soon, i pinky promise!
obviously i will not comment on chapter five in the interest of spoilers but i can also confirm that reader is also super confused about their own feelings. personally a symptom (???) of my own autism is conflating platonic and romantic feelings. on top of that, it's probably the furthest thing from their mind, plus with how much kokichi puzzles them, PLUS the fact that they have nothing to really compare it to having never liked anybody romantically? yeah it's not looking good brev.
PLEASE don't apologise for rambling!! i rly thoroughly enjoyed reading this n i've been thinking abt it a lot for the past few days trying to write up an answer to do it justice. i rly hope ur seeing this and that ur having a lovely lovely day!! and also yeah i do emoji anons, the only taken ones I THINK are 🦋 and 🐇 so u can pick anything u like my lovely <33 i hope to see u in my inbox again sometime soon!!
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idk if you looked into the notes of the post (because a couple people explain it there), but that Sebastian portrait mod is from the Diverse Stardew Valley mod which is a collab by a bunch of people who wanted to make edits for more representation. there's very little diversity in SV so a bunch of strangers set out to try to change that for people who were uncomfortable with the implications of vanilla Pelican Town.
Sebastian in particular is Vietnamese, and I think his sprite reads that he's Asian pretty obviously. pokkopanna's and your own comments come off pretty racist when y'all say he's ugly or his nose/face is "too wide". you might wanna reconsider choosing facial features as a target to make fun of in the future, since there's people IRL who probably have those features. you could've pointed out other things about the sprite that you have issue with if you wanted to back OP up (though I personally find the art fine, and an interesting redesign).
if you're interested i'd also recommend looking into the DSV mod to see why people made it, and the character changes they've made and why. it's honestly (IMO) a very thoughtful project and while i don't know any of the creators personally, it sucks to see random people shit on it because it's already been the target of racism for years. Linus has a service dog, some characters are trans, and it even recently updated to include an option for AroAce Gus but everyone always focuses on the ethnicity changes. the mod is highly customizable so you can turn on literally 1 option if you want to, or every option. it even has a vanilla option where everything is vanilla but characters have seasonal outfits and sleepwear, etc.
also as a last note, there's plenty of amazing Sebastian mods besides DSV's so pokkopanna is just being dramatic. idk if they hate Sebastian like you (for reasons I do understand), but shitting on other people's art in general- especially a diversity mod- is a dick move. i doubt OP or you knew, but DSV does have a tumblr and possibly saw that post. anyway, bye thatboredaroace, have a nice day/night.
Okay, I'll bear that in mind. I had no idea that existed and I'm honestly sorry I said that. I just generally hate Sebastian normally and all his mods by extension so I just thought it was a weird portrait. Sorry everyone.
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Upcoming Patreon/General Art Plans
Hi all! I posted a public Patreon post going over some things I have in store for my art in the foreseeable future. I know Tumblr isn't kind to links, so I'll be copy+pasting the article under a cut.
The post goes over things relating to commissions, Patreon, a future online shop, and my art direction in general. So if any of that interests you, I'd suggest checking it out! Thanks in advance ^^
(Though the Patreon post has an exclusive WIP comic at the end, so check it out there if you wanna see it!)
Commission Pricing:
A couple of months ago, I announced that I would be increasing my commission prices in July. July has come and gone and I have yet to do so simply because I've been preoccupied with other work. I still intend to increase my prices but will do so sometime later this month instead. In the previous post I made, I attached a new commission sheet with the proposed price increase. The pricing on this sheet is NOT finalized. Unfortunately, with the cost of pretty much everything increasing, I may need to increase the prices a little more than what was stated in the sheet. Not by too much, of course, but it's still worth noting. It's important for me to be open and transparent about this decision to not catch anyone off guard. With me delaying the price increase, hopefully, it will give folks a chance to commission me with the current prices before I officially implement this change. Thank you for understanding!
TL;DR: Commission prices were supposed to increase in July but have been delayed to later this month.
New Patreon tiers/rewards coming soon!
For those who are already pledged to my Patreon or are considering doing so, I have some exciting news for you! I'm currently working on introducing some new tiers to my Patreon. In addition to this, I also intend to implement new rewards for those who are in certain tiers or higher. This includes physical rewards! I am still figuring out the specifics, but my goal is to have these new features implemented sometime within the next month or so (September-October.) One last thing: It's been a long while since I've done a Monthly Patreon Poll piece. I'm happy to announce that starting this month, I will be starting them up again. Expect a poll sometime this week ~ (For patrons only!)
TL;DR: I will introduce new Patreon tiers/rewards for current and new patrons. I will also be resuming my Patreon-exclusive monthly polls this month.
Online shop coming Fall 2023:
After years of wishing to do so, I'm at a place where I can finally start planning on reopening an online shop to sell merch! I'm gonna start off with a soft launch featuring a small selection of products at first to test the waters. I'm thinking I have a limited number of goods sold via Ko-Fi. If that goes well, then I could look into opening on Storenvy or Shopify with more products. I'd like to offer both fan work and original designs, so hopefully I can offer a little something for everyone ^^ I don't have an exact date in mind but my goal is to get this going sometime in the fall.
TL;DR: I am hoping to do a soft launch for a new online shop sometime this coming fall. It will feature original designs and fan art.
General Art Ideas:
The last thing I'd like to touch upon is some ideas I have in mind for my general art direction. Something I'd really like to do is develop my existing characters further, especially my personas. Just something to bring out me and my character's personalities more so that my pieces have more depth than just visual appeal. Comics, animations, and other experimental pieces come to mind. In general, I'd like to step out of my comfort zone more and make some more meaningful connections with other like-minded folks (while still maintaining boundaries.) One way I would especially like to do this is by streaming art and video games. I don't have a time frame on this stuff like the other sections mentioned but I'd love to get these things going sooner rather than later.
TL;DR: I'm aiming to develop my art and characters even further. I also want to step out of my comfort zone and put myself out there more with activities such as streaming. No date for these things yet but hopefully soon!
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If you've managed to make it this far into the post, I'd like to thank you! Moving to my new living environment has opened up some opportunities for me that I'd like to take advantage of. I've been stuck in a rut for quite a while but am hoping to finally take a much-needed leap. This will hopefully bring me to even further heights. I hope you'll come along on this journey with me ^^ I'll do whatever I can to make sure it's worth it.
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