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fansplaining · 4 years

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A Note from Fansplaining

If you’re subscribed to Fansplaining on iTunes or another podcatcher, you’ve probably seen that we put out a short statement this week in lieu of a new episode. Because we’re committed to making all audio we release fully accessible, we’ll transcribe the clip at the bottom of this post, below the cut. But fwiw, it’s mostly just explaining what’s in this post:

Black lives matter. We condemn white supremacy in all its forms. We believe the police should be defunded and dismantled. And we want to make sure everyone who listens to our podcast knows about ways they can contribute to this fight, and ways they can support the Black community (please note that these are U.S.-centric). We’ll be back with a new episode soon, but this is more important than anything we could say right now.

Places to donate

If you’re out of work or have lost hours in the past few months, you may not have money to spare. But even small donations—$5, $10—add up. A few organizations we recommend:

House of GG, a Black-led organization, is fundraising to build a permanent home in Little Rock, Arkansas where trans and gender-nonconforming people can both be housed and receive leadership training.

G.L.I.T.S. is fundraising to buy two buildings to create a permanent place to house and support Black trans people in New York City, as well as sign leases for space to use in the interim.

Sista Afya, a Chicago-based organization, is fundraising to keep its therapeutic services, social events, and wellness experiences under $15 and to hold large scale events like a free arts festival.

For a larger crowdsourced list, see suggestions here.

Ways to get involved if you can’t physically or monetarily participate

If, like us, you live in New York City, here’s a great resource for actionable things you can do from home. Here’s a national list, though for more granular detail for your town/city/region, you should search social media. Some great google doc action happening right now!!

As a reminder, when contacting elected officials:

Always write your own email, rather than use a form. People who work or have worked in these offices strongly advise this, and report that form emails are regularly filtered out, often directly into the trash.

Always write a postcard rather than a letter. Letters are scanned for things like anthrax and can get held up for days; postcards go straight through.

Ensure you know the official’s position on whatever you’re asking about before you call or write. If they’re already supporting or sponsoring a specific piece of legislation, call them anyway and thank them. They use constituent numbers to show that their positions have a lot of public support.

Particularly for white and non-BIPOC: reach out to your family members, as much as you feel safe doing so, and speak with them about Black Lives Matter and the issues of the day. If you have language barriers with your family members, or just need a place to start, Letters For Black Lives is a great resource that includes material in many languages.

Stream this video—all ad revenue will go to bail funds, families of victims of racist police brutality, and other Black-led organizations.

Resources on anti-Blackness and racism in fandom

Because we are a fandom podcast, we encourage white fans in particular to continue to listen to Black fans and other fans of color when it comes to racism in fandom. If you’re new to the podcast or haven’t dug into the full back catalogue, we recommend prioritizing:

Our pair of episodes on race and racism in fandom—especially anti-Blackness in fandom—featured eight different guests. Episodes 22A and B: “Race and Fandom Part 1” and “Race and Fandom Part 2.”

Ebony Elizabeth Thomas was one of our earliest and one of our most recent repeat guests. You can listen to her talk about race, children’s literature, and fandom in episode 7, “The Dark Fantastic” and episode 120, “Ebony Elizabeth Thomas.” Once you’ve listened to these episodes, buy or request that your library purchase a copy of her book, The Dark Fantastic.

Tanya DePass is the founder of I Need Diverse Games. In episode 42, “Fresh Out of Tokens,” she discussed fan/creator interaction and intersectionality in the context of games specifically.

Rukmini Pande is a well-known scholar of race and fandom. She first joined us in episode 29, “Shipping and Activism,” to talk about the ways that ships intersect with politics; then, she returned in episode 89, “Rukmini Pande,” and discussed her academic work. Once you’ve listened to these episodes, buy or request that your library purchase a copy of her book, Squee From the Margins.

In episode 48, “Con or Bust,” we interviewed Diana Pho and Mark Oshiro, two board members of Con or Bust, an organization that raises money to help fans of color attend conventions.

For further reading, Fan Studies Network North America has put together a great list of resources.

Transcript

[Intro music: “Awel” by stefsax]

Flourish Klink: Hi, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth Minkel: Hi, Flourish.

FK: Welcome to not an episode of Fansplaining. Um, we almost completely canceled recording at all, but we decided that we wanted to record a short thing, because we know some people only receive us through their podcatcher or whatever and don’t ever go to our website or our social media. So it felt important that we actually record something short today.

ELM: All right. So, just off the bat, at the risk of sounding like a terrible brand black .jpg with white letters, I think it should be obvious to everybody right now but it’s always worth restating—Black Lives Matter. We strongly support everything that is happening right now. We both strongly believe that the police should be…what word are we gonna use? Dismantled?

FK: Yes.

ELM: Dismantled. Like, we, like, you know—and like, strongly condemn white supremacy, which is the foundation of our country and much of the world.

FK: Right. So…

ELM: Very broad statement here, but like, you know, it’s definitely worth stating in explicit terms and not couching it around, you know, just to outright state support for Black people and the fight that is going on right now.

FK: Completely. And we really struggled with whether or not to record an episode because, on the one hand, there’s a lot of topics that we think would be really good to talk about that are within the purview of this podcast—stuff like the way people are using social media to organize, stuff like the entire conversation around K-pop fandom and the way that’s been going down. There’s like five things.

ELM: Spoiler, spoiler: It’s been going down poorly.

FK: Yeah.

ELM: Wait, side note: just anyone, please please please, cause I know a lot of people listen to this podcast and are in fandom but are not in K-pop fandom, if an article that you’re sharing about K-pop fans mobilizing doesn’t acknowledge the, like, rampant anti-Blackness happening within those spaces right now, they haven’t done enough research.

FK: Correct. And also, it’s both that and also if you see the narrative that K-pop fans are only bots, that’s also the other flip bad side of the coin.

ELM: Well, we should—now we’re gettin’ right into it. We’re not actually doing an episode. We’re not actually doing an episode. Yes.

FK: We’re actually gonna talk about this at some point in the future. Right now it feels like, you know, just being two white women talking about this stuff feels like not the thing to do right now? And we also don’t want to right now ask Black people to come on to our podcast and talk about things in a deeply traumatic and horrible moment. So we’re going to put a pin in the podcast and we’re gonna come back with all of those topics and a bunch of guests and basically begin to address this stuff, hopefully in a moment that’s less fraught. Is it ever gonna get less fraught? I don’t know if it’s gonna get less fraught.

ELM: That being said, let’s play it by ear! Because I could not tell you what’s gonna happen two weeks from now, but like…

FK: [sighs] Yeah, I really don’t know either.

ELM: Just, we’ll see. So in the meantime, we are going to put a post on Tumblr so it’ll be shareable, and we are going to include resources—places to donate, in particular places that aren’t getting as much attention. More grassroots stuff that we’re seeking out right now. And also ways to be active and involved for people who don’t have the money or physical ability to be protesting right now, because I am very aware of the narrative of “You should be in the streets! And if not then you should donate!” And it’s like, well, what happens if you are unemployed and also physically unable to get out there? There are so many ways that you can really be, actively lend your support right now.

So we’ll put those in there, and then also, we shared on Twitter a thread of great resources about anti-Blackness and racism in fandom, and since this is a fandom podcast we’ll be sharing some of those in that post as well, because it’s all connected.

FK: Absolutely. All right, everyone out there, stay safe, stay strong, if you’re in the streets stay in the streets, and we’ll be back when we can.

ELM: OK, bye Flourish!

FK: Bye, Elizabeth.

[Outro music: “Awel” by stefsax]

#fansplaining #fan culture #fan studies #fandom

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bookworm-blogs · 4 years

Note

Surprise Ask!: Some Kayama and Shirakumo headcannons?

I’M SORRY FOR NOT RESPONDING SOONER I’VE BEEN BUSY W/ WORK N SHIT FHFHFHH

But omg yes! HELL yess I do!!

Since you didn't specify whether their relationship would be platonic or romantic, I'll just do both because BY GOD THEIR FRIENDSHIP ITSELF IS HEAVILY OVERLOOKED. (I'm still salty about Kayama's lack of presence in the main magna regarding the Kurogiri reveal. She's just as much a friend to Shirakumo as Aizawa and Yamada, damn it! Then again Horikoshi could be holding off on us for a reason idk we'll just have to wait and see...)

Anyways! Platonic (ft. Rooftop Gang) headcannons!

1. Kayama and Shirakumo have a similar taste in music. I know our world and the BNHA world are different (apparently they haven't reached the moon yet in BNHA?? And Aizawa had a touch screen phone in Vigilantes so I'm assuming their generation and our millennials grew up a tad bit differently), but I can't help but think they would be complete nerds of 80's rock. Smashing Pumpkins, Fleetwood Mac, Red Hot Chili Peppers... These two would always contact each other on when the next album hits and be each other's first choice to concerts and would always blow all their money on band merch. Their all-time favorite song would probably be "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac, or "September” by Earth, Wind, and Fire. They always argue about which is better.

2. These two are the BIGGEST video game nerds. Every now and then, when they aren’t busy with school or work studies, Kayama would come over to Shirakumo’s house to play games with him. Aizawa isn’t too fond of video games, and Yamada prefers to listen to different types of podcasts, so that leaves Kayama to be Shirakumo’s gamer buddy, which isn’t bad at all since this girl loves all types of games. From Animal Crossing to the Halo franchise, Kayama has a surprisingly broad range, with her favorite genre of video games being horror shooter games like Resident Evil. Shirakumo isn’t a big fan of horror and is more a fan of free world games like Red Dead Redemption or The Last of Us, though he does make an exception for point and click horror games.

3. Kayama occasionally pops in on the boys’ study sessions. Usually, Yamada would be at the helm tutoring Shirakumo and Aizawa, though Kayama would pop in from time to time to help him with harder subjects like history since she’s smart. She used to host their sessions at her house, though that quickly stopped since she always dressed up as a sexy teacher and got a little too close to the boys while showing them how to solve equations.

4. They would regularly barge in each others’ homes. Shirakumo was especially guilty of this, as he would use his clouds to fly over to his friends’ room windows and sneak in through through them. It became such a common occurrence that Aizawa, Yamada, and Kayama all decided to just keep their windows open for the cloud boy to come in whenever. Usually Aizawa would be Shirakumo’s favorite victim (he loved watching Aizawa leap out of his skin every time he knocked on the window), though Yamada and Kayama were just as entertaining (Shirakumo once knocked on Yamada’s window and nearly went deaf after the blond screamed with his quirk on. Kayama was a bit more risky for obvious reasons). Kayama was the first one to return the favor, however, and when Shirakumo saw her sitting on his bed in the dark while petting Sushi like an evil mastermind, he let out a high pitched scream that Kayama still holds over his head to this day.

5. Kayama and Shirakumo "flirt" with each other all the time. You know Ayame and Shigure from Fruits Baskets? How they would say something incredibly corny to each other before suddenly being like, "haha cheers mate." That's these two. Since they hang out on a regular basis, people always make fun of them by calling them boyfriend/girlfriend. One day, they got so fed up with having to explain themselves that they decided, "fuck it, if they want a show we'll give them a show." When they made their first target pass out from a furious blush and a bloody nose, Shirakumo and Kayama made this their "how to keep hoes at bay" strategy. Yamada finds their antics hilarious, while Aizawa always thought it was weird. Every time they "flirt," Shirakumo and Kayama always make sure to say "no hetero" as soon as the other person is gone.

Now for the romantic headcannons!

1. Everything is the same, except Shirakumo forgot to say "no hetero." This made Shirakumo have an existential crisis for about a month. He would always ask himself, "Why didn't I say it that time? Was I being stupid? Or did I actually mean it? What if this changes our friendship forever? Oh God, what if she hates me?" Aizawa would always be the first person Shirakumo goes to to vent his woes, sometimes even coming to his room in the middle of the night. While Shirakumo would ramble about how bad it is to catch feelings for his gal pal, Aizawa would always listen until he's done before telling him to just confess. Shirakumo doesn't, and this routine lasts an entire month.

2. Kayama realizes Shirakumo's growing crush but doesn't say anything bc she wants to hear it from him. This man tries acting like nothing's bothering him, but he was as obvious as Dipper from Gravity Falls (muttering under his breath and hopping at the first opportunity to hang out with her). At first Kayama didn't think much of it, but when she caught him glaring at a couple gawking boys in the hallway, she realized what was also going on.

3. After 3 months of awkwardness, Kayama finally dragged him off on a date. Shirakumo was terrified the entire time, waiting for Kayama to tell him he's not her type, but was shocked when she bluntly told him, "we should start dating" after watching a movie. Everything fell into place afterwards.

4. These two became the hottest couple at UA. Up until the Tasomiya Incident, Shirakumo and Kayama acted a lot like how they did before, except they now had dinner dates, movie nights, and all the fun couple stuff like making out behind the school and genuinely flirting (much to their friends' disgust. Seriously, do these two have no shame?). Kayama loved going shopping, and Shirakumo was more than happy to carry around her stuff on his clouds. Once, they got caught sneaking out to the pier at night and made a brave escape on Shirakumo's clouds. As soon as they got back to his house, they were on the floor, laughing.

5. After Shirakumo's death, Kayama hadn't dated since. Sometimes she would go out whenever her friends would set her up, but Shirakumo was the last time she ever has a serious relationship. She protects Sushi with her life, even as he grows older. Sushi was the last living remnant of Shirakumo, and she wants to keep him for as long as possible.

Little does she know he may not be as dead as she thinks... (Dun, dun dun)

Anyways yeah, I’m a slut for this rarepair and it breaks my heart that there isn’t more content on it. Fear not, my fellow CloudNight stans, for I am making a fanfic on Ao3 rn and am also gonna make a one-shot in a few days! Thank you, Nightowl, for giving me the chance to scream for a bit! ;’)

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thisdreamplace · 3 years

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7 Days of ‘I Am the Creator’ Meditation

Guidelines:

- ‘I Am the Creator’ Meditation

- SATS

Why?

Why not? haha Nah, these days were a lot more relaxed than the previous challenge I did. The main goal here was to continue deepening my knowing of who I truly am (God) and I can say, I’ve had a helluva time.

Reflection:

This is gonna be a pretty long reflection. Compared to my last little challenge, this one ended up being extremely reflective. So, get cozy. You’re in for a ride.

Okay, so this was an interesting 7 days. I battled with anxiety, feeling like I am the exception to the law (read through a lot of my asks this week, EIYPO is no joke haha), and just overall wondering if there’s any point in continuing this journey. I’ll just be real honest with y’all about how I’ve felt. It’s been a little ugly.

But the is answer is... yes, it’s always worth it to be on this journey. Especially because I can stop consciously living by the law if I want to... but I will continue to live by the law regardless, with my subconscious mind. So there’s no point in stopping persisting. My issue tends to be, what am I persisting for? And well, I came to some hard to swallow pills of realization as well lots of good realizations too. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster. But I will say, despite it, I have been able to keep some bursts of feel good energy here and there. All is not lost... it’s just truly a journey. A real lifestyle change I’ll keep going at until I wake up from this dream world.

Now, reflecting back on the meditation specifically.. I absolutely adore it. And I will continue to do it when I feel like it, because I just really enjoyed the concept. When I meditate, I’ve been allowing myself to use the infinity timer so I can go for as long as I feel is natural to me. (I use the app Insight Timer if anyone is interested!) Anyway, I average between 10-20 minutes. That being said, whew, this meditation! On the longer days, I was able to use this meditation as a way to calm my anxiety. On other days, the meditation absolutely overwhelmed me! When I got to the step of allowing myself to really FEEL what I wanted to feel... I’d feel overwhelmed. Shortness of breath, the absolute need to move. It was interesting. Some of the sensations you get during meditation are weird sometimes. haha I appreciated this meditation regardless, because I love the practice of the outer world no longer existing and allowing myself to be consumed in my mind, where I am home, where I am safe. Where I AM the creator and can literally have anything I want without a reason, other than the fact I want it.

Best Manifestations:

Mainly lots of passive manifestations. These 7 days really showed me that um... everything you reap will be sowed. Neville didn’t lie.

For example, a coworker randomly brought me the gift of a state flag... Thing is, there’s a state I love and adore and I will be moving there when I’m done with the things I want to finish where I currently live. A few weeks ago, I was looking up little flags for that state but didn’t end up buying any. Then she randomly brings me one? She knows I love the state. But it’s not like I was walking around asking for flags hahaha so that was cool

Then, I’ve wanted to watch Casablanca for a while. But I haven’t watched it because it’s not on any streaming sites for free. Then, I bring it up at work and my coworker so happens to have it on DVD. She brings it within a couple days and I get to watch it and I loved it. Maybe not the most exciting thing ever, but for me it was just another confirmation that yep, I am always manifesting. I will always end up getting what I want.

People have been mirroring my thoughts a lot more. I posted about one incident here, but also, people bring up something I am thinking about within seconds. Sometimes, not going to lie, this pisses me off. Sometimes it’s cool, sometimes it’s like no... I wanted ACTION. Not for us to simply talk about it? But regardless, it still shows the world is mirroring me. So, in a way, it’s still a form of success. haha And of course, the only failure is thinking you have failed. I will persist. Oh, and I played around with the basics of EIYPO (people are always like, decide what someone will wear!) lol so I chose the shirts of both of my coworkers one day. One was specific down to the actual t-shirt, the other was a pattern (plaid). They both walked into working wearing what I wanted them to wear, haha.

Plus, the things I want to know/find always pop up. Like, a Neville story I once heard but can no longer find. Information that will help me better understand the law coming up a few days after I want it. I have full confidence now I will always find what I need.

Best Self-Concept Improvements:

Information downloads!!!!!!!!!!!!

While, yes, I was kind of not in the best place emotionally, it kind of lead to some deep shit I needed to acknowledge. Like, at one point I got upset because I realized, I really have been trying to apply the law. Meanwhile, I’ve been applying the law effortlessly since the day I was born. I can stop trying to apply the law and I’ll still be living by the law. All of this hit me and it just made me feel like, yo... what am I even doing? If I am God, no matter what, what am I even doing? If I am manifesting naturally, why in the world am I trying?

During one of my meditations, I decided I want to give myself freedom. That’s what I wanted in the little world of my mind and the response I got was, “there is freedom in I Am-ness.” It was like, wait. What. I am right! I AM RIGHT. (Of course I am... lol, being God jokes.) Anyway, that little information download changed the game for me. That little phrase suddenly was the key. Let me explain further.

I ended up going on an affirmation walk that really turned more into a walking meditation. All I could repeat was, “I AM I AM I AM I AM I AM I AM”... yeah, you get it. And like, it made sense. It actually made sense. “I am. And because I am, everything is.” This was the sentence that would come up during this meditation and it actually made sense.

Finally, the hardest pill the swallow:

Responsibility. Taking responsibility. How funny is it that this podcast was dropped on my last day of doing this challenge. During these 7 days, I definitely had some victim mentality thoughts I entertained a bit. Like the classic, I’ve been working so hard at this and it’s like nothing is changing. (Not even true, I literally posts my successes here and keep track of others one on my notes app.) Well, here’s the hardest pill. Did Neville not say, to see change you must first change yourself? How in the world can I say I have changed, if I am able to comfortably think the same victim thoughts that got me the old story? Ouch.

This is one thing I really had to look at and accept about myself. And EIYPO. I will be tackling this concept, because it’s time to. I have stayed away from it. I understand it intellectually, but I have barely allowed myself to go beyond that because honestly... it means taking ALL the responsibility for my life. Because, people have been my weakness. My old story includes lots of feeling like I could die and no one would attend my funeral. Literally. This is a thought that would loop in my mind damn near all of the time back when I was immersed in the old story. Need I say more? EIYPO is actually a more sensitive subject to me than I allowed myself to accept. And now, it’s time to take responsibility and face it head on. Sometimes, the concept feels suffocating. But I know as I persist, it’ll all lead to my freedom.

Conclusion:

My biggest question during these 7 days was, am I focusing on the right things? Is it even worth it to keep focusing on my specific manifestations at this point? I think I got my answer and of course, it’s hazy. The answer is, no. But also yes. I just want to shift my focus a bit.

To what, exactly? To me. I thought about my journey for the past 7 months that I’ve been on. And I can honestly say, I have failed to manifest for me. I will for a few hours. Then I find an excuse for why it’s okay to think about the other things I want because hey, I want them. It has to do with me. What’s the difference? Well, there is a difference. One keeps me using manifestation as a technique and the other allows me to step into who I really am, as God. Have I had successes? Yeah, tons. But there’s something in all those articles I have refused to listen to. The parts that constantly say, “IT IS YOU. IT IS ALL YOU. YOU MUST GO WITHIN.” Like I get it, and I thought just persisting in what I want would be enough. But when you are able to so easily slip back into the old story like it’s nothing, like I did this week, that shows the state you are truly operating from. And yeah, I’ve made tons of progress. I get things I want quicker now and I am able to get a lot of the things I want, but I want to take this to the next level. Not just so I am getting things here and there, but so my entire life is a constant stream of me getting what I want. Even on the off days.

On these 7 days, I came across a post someone made where they showed their affirmations. One of them that stuck out to me was:

“I am always chosen, because I always choose myself.” Something about it kind of stuck with me. Could I say this affirmation has been true for me? No. I’m good at choosing myself in the outer world. But in the inner world? Nah. And it’s time to change that.

How will I do that? By following Neville’s first principal.

Be still and know that I am God.

“There is nothing to change but our concept of self. As soon as we succeed in transforming self, our world will dissolve and reshape itself in harmony with that which our change affirms.” - Neville Goddard

#journey

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merflk · 4 years

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just to be quiet.

pairing: katie bell x angelina johnson words: 1827 link: ao3 soundtrack: quiet - lights

for the @hprarepairnet Quidditch Player Ships Challenge

At first, it was a choice.

When she first went back to her regular life, nothing was wrong with her speech. She didn’t like talking about the war, but it wasn’t hard to do, per se. It was just hard to find the right words. She wasn’t the only one with this problem, and the British wizard society practically exploded with initiatives in which people could express themselves and their trauma in different ways. Creative writing, arts… Some of her friends took up painting. Alicia was really into slam poetry for a while. Katie just kept giving her heart and soul to Quidditch.

Things were easier on the field. She felt more alive. She had no intention of going pro, or anything, but she loved playing. It was an outlet. When she was out there chasing those points, the war couldn’t hurt her for a little while. So every time someone tried to talk to her about it and she struggled to find her words, she went out to the field instead.

One day, she realised that she couldn’t… She couldn’t talk about the war anymore. When she tried, her throat seized up, and she couldn’t get her vocal cords to work. It was like the subject emptied her of words altogether.

It was scary, at first, but it was so easy to ignore… All she had to do was stop trying. She was far from the only person who was dealing with the war by trying to put it behind her. No one realised something else was happening. She didn’t realise it herself either.

She’d always been quiet, and working as a magical engineer meant that she didn’t have to communicate verbally at her work much. Before long, she just fell silent. By then, she knew it wasn’t a choice anymore. But it took her a little while longer to admit it.

Her parents freaked out. She complacently let them sign her up for all kinds of therapy, and bore it all for a few months. Nothing worked.

She started obsessing over words like a person with an eating disorder can obsess over calories. She hoarded them. She listened to people as much as she could – podcasts, audio books, videos… She wrote them down. She wrote so much down. Her third therapist thought that might be the key. It wasn’t.

She had a secret that she couldn’t tell anyone else.

She stopped going to therapy after a particularly bruising assessment by her fifth therapist. She refused to tell anyone what had been said, no matter how much her parents begged her to explain. She put her foot down. They were devastated, but they didn’t want to lose her, so they tried to make their peace with it, living for the hope that perhaps, in a few months, they could try again. When those months started adding up to a full year, they reluctantly started learning sign language. They still couldn’t accept that this was their new normal.

Katie’s obsession started dying down a little bit. She had started spending less time on the Quidditch fields over the months, and now she picked that up again. She felt the wind in her hair and the rain on her face and she felt a little more like herself again.

It was around that time that Angelina came back into her life.

Angelina had gone to study abroad after the war; her own way of dealing with the fall-out, Katie supposed. She needed distance from the scene of the crime to process it all. That was alright. She’d always said she’d return someday, and Katie had believed her.

They kept in touch, at first, but soon their communication was sparse. It wasn’t until Angelina came back to Britain that she realised the full extent of Katie’s speech impediment.

It had been partially deliberate from Katie’s side. It was nice to have someone not constantly worry about her. Being mute seemed to have turned into a sign on her forehead that said ‘seriously unstable’.

Letting Angelina see the full extent of it was hard, and she flinched when she caught her surprised and worried expression. She steeled herself for the inevitable questions – for the underlying current of awkwardness that most of her communication with other people now had.

The questions didn’t come. Angelina processed this new development quietly. After a few minutes, in which Katie was wildly trying not to let her eyes tear up, Angelina smiled at her and changed the subject. She leaned into yes-or-no questions. She paid close attention to Katie’s mannerisms and expressions. Fifteen minutes later, Katie was crying after all, from sheer relief. Angelina just laughed – that bright, loud, free laughter that Katie had adored so much at Hogwarts – and wiped away Katie’s tears.

She wasn’t the first person to show Katie some understanding – far from it. Some of her colleagues had been great about things (Michael Corner especially) and Alicia had definitely stumbled her way through learning to adapt to Katie’s new form of communicating. But, somehow, the fact that this was Angelina made things different. More important.

I’ve missed you so much, she realised in that moment, staring at her. It made her flush. She wasn’t ready to acknowledge that.

Still, she wasn’t surprised when she woke up from a nap one day, sprawled across Angelina’s lap in the summer sun, and realised that she was in love with her.

It seemed almost inevitable. The sky was blue, you had to wake up from every single nap, and Katie Bell was in love with Angelina Johnson.

They spent most of their time together at that point. After two consecutive months of sleeping on Katie’s couch (barring five or six nights where they’d crammed into Katie’s one-person bed), Angelina decided she might as well move in. Katie had no objections.

She was already in so deep when Angelina finally started asking questions.

“Why did you stop going to therapy?” she asked softly one night.

Katie froze and, in very quick succession, felt betrayed, stupid and then embarrassed. Had she really thought this moment wouldn’t come?

They were sitting on the couch together. Katie had her legs draped across Angelina’s lap, but she pulled them away at her question so she could pull them up and hide her face against her knees.

She shook her head.

Angelina sighed. “Katie. You haven’t talked to anyone about this. That’s not right.”

She shook her head again, a little frustrated, and lifted up her head to glare at Angelina.

Angelina didn’t budge. She just stared her down until Katie’s shoulders drooped.

Finally, Katie shifted on the couch, crossing her legs underneath her to free her arms so she could sign more easily.

It wasn’t working, she signed.

“Do you have any idea why?”

Katie’s secret stared her in the face. So big, so shameful. She couldn’t keep the tears from welling up. When Angelina saw, she scooted over to her and put a hand on her knee.

“It’s okay,” she said softly.

Angelina flinched when Katie pulled away from her, but she was just reaching over to the coffee table to grab a notepad and a pen. She sat up straight again and took a deep breath. Angelina didn’t put her hand back and Katie missed the heat immediately.

She stared at the paper. She wasn’t sure how to sign this properly. But she wasn’t sure how to phrase this properly either. But…

She looked up at Angelina, beautiful and sincere, waiting patiently for her answer. She had been waiting for months.

Katie took up the pen.

She said that no one would be able to help me talk again if I didn’t actually want to.

And there it was. The big secret.

Therapy didn’t work, because every single therapist she’d seen was trying to get her to open her mouth and speak. Katie played along, and she tried, but she couldn’t, because she didn’t really want to. Her obsession with words, her desperation, it wasn’t because she wanted to speak but couldn’t: it was because she didn’t want to speak ever again, and that scared her.

She handed Angelina the notepad.

Everyone was trying to heal her. First and foremost, their goal was to get her to speak again. It was what she should want, that much was clear. Being mute was a sign that something was seriously wrong with her. Being mute was a defect. She had to speak. She had to speak.

Angelina’s eyes widened as she read the sentence and Katie ripped the notepad out of her hands again, suddenly needing to tell her more. Angelina leaned over to watch her hand as she wrote.

I never wanted it enough. But I had to want it. That’s what they all said. That’s why I couldn’t. I tried to force myself to want it. It didn’t work. Nothing worked.

“Katie,” Angelina stammered.

She took Katie’s hands into her own, drawing her gaze back up to hers. She was still crying. One of her tears hit the paper.

Angelina took the notepad and put it back on the coffee table. Then she took Katie’s hands into her own once again. Softly, she caressed the back of her hands with her thumb.

“You don’t have to speak, Katie.”

Katie’s eyes widened when she heard the words. Something inside of her started to knit itself back together.

“Katie,” Angelina said again, her name an answer on her tongue instead of the endless question it had become, “You never have to speak again.”

Katie’s few tears turned into a torrent. She choked out a sob.

Angelina shook her head, astonished at the weight that her best friend had been carrying on her shoulders. She leaned over to pick Katie up, pulling her onto her lap and wrapping her in her embrace. Katie put her full weight into the hug, pressing her wet cheek against Angelina’s perfect collarbone.

How long had she wanted someone to tell her that? Since the start? Since before it even happened?

Why did she have to speak? Why did she have to want it so badly? Why wasn’t this okay too?

Of course she wanted it to be a choice. But she was pretty sure the only reason she was physically incapable of speaking is because people expected her to do it. And in this moment… In this moment…

She still didn’t want to speak. But she was pretty damn sure that right now, she could.

She brought up her hands to sign a clumsy thank you.

Angelina laughed and pressed a kiss against her crown. “You’re welcome.”

She hesitated for a moment, and then kissed her head again, more slowly this time. “You’re perfect, Katie,” she added softly.

Katie let out a whimper and reached up. She put her hand onto Angelina’s cheek and angled her head up.

This time, Angelina didn’t hesitate. She brought her face down and pressed her lips against Katie’s.

#katie x angelina #angelina x katie #angelina johnson #katie bell #hp fanfic #hp fanfiction #hp #original #hprarepairnet

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havethetimeofyourstyles · 5 years

Text

Happier

*gif not mine*

You can read part I here!

The sun was getting brighter and the air was getting warmer.

The air was more crisped and it felt like you could breathe again.

And you were happy.

It was always going to be a great day when nature decides to have great weather. Especially when it’s been gloomy and depressing. The weather resembled your mood. At least, London weather. You’ve been in some mood for most of the year, and the weather didn’t help whatsoever. You were cooped up in your bed with a blanket wrapped around your head, only making your face visible. Ever since that night, you’ve just been sad. You were sad because it was over. You were sad because you pushed away the only good thing in your life, and you couldn’t be more pissed with yourself. But you learned that it was for the best and that it needed to happen so you could move forward with yourself. You’ve learned to take responsibility for yourself and making yourself a priority.

And overall, you were content.

It wasn’t an easy process. It was definitely one of the hardest things to do. It took some time, but you feel like you’ve made huge progress. And for that you were content.

You weren’t fully happy. You knew something was missing, and that something or someone was the love of your life who had curly hair that is mostly wavy now, and a smile that makes you weak in the knees. You were missing Harry Styles.

You’ve felt on top of the world about him; like you were on a cloud. But you felt your lowest and below the ground about yourself.

It’s been quite a long time since you’ve seen him. 5 months can do a lot to a couple and people in general. You haven’t spoke to him nor seen him, and you hope he’s doing okay. What you have seen were pictures from fans or paps, when he was out and about. He looks so good, you would think. But he always looks so good.

You’ve missed him. A lot. When he left and closed the door, you were a mess. Sobbing violently and screaming at the universe. But you knew it had to be done.

Harry, on the other hand, made sure to get home safely before he could break down and cry. He slammed his front door shut, leaned against the wall before he loses his balance, and sobbed into his hands.

Both were a mess.

But a month later, you started trying. You started trying to love yourself; to take care of yourself. It was weird to do at first, but you started with writing in your journal. You jotting down things you admire about yourself and the things you didn’t, which you later worked on.

The second month, you wanted to change your wardrobe into something that makes you feel beautiful—sexy, even. So you went shopping, by yourself, and picked out many outfits to step up your style. Your style went from casual and safe to classy and chic. You were happy with the way your clothing played out.

The third month, you changed your diet and started working out. You didn’t feel good on the inside nor did you on the outside. So you started prepping your meals and you got a gym membership. It made you feel strong physically and mentally. It made you feel so much better mentally knowing that you’re putting good things in your body.

The fourth month, you decided you wanted a change. So what better way to do that is to get a haircut. Your hair was getting long anyway; practically to your hips. You decided to be bold and cut it to your shoulders. You were happy with it.

The fifth month, you wanted to go on vacation. You and Harry used to go on little getaways from time to time, and they were your favorite. You loved to explore, especially with Harry. You loved finding new food and learn more about the culture. So, you booked a vacation to Cuba. You’ve always wanted to go; your cousin telling you that it was absolutely beautiful and the culture is amazing.

You stroll through the city of Havana, passing by the colorful architecture Cuba has to offer. It feels like you’re at peace and you feel so content. You love going to different places because nobody knows you. There would be rare occasions where someone would walk up to you or recognize you, but they were rare and would only happen when Harry was with you. You were able to walk freely and you loved it.

You sit outside of a restaurant, people watching and writing in your journal. You’ve become accustomed to the fact that you have to write in a journal. You’ve come to the fact that you love it. It’s a nice mental break from the world with the only relationship between the pen and paper. Throughout the months, you learned so much about yourself that you love. The things you dislike about yourself is a work in progress, but you feel yourself getting better every single day.

“Excuse me?” You look up and see a man through your sunglasses. He wasn’t standing directly in front of the sun, making your eyes wince before raising your arm to block the sun.

And there he was. Standing in front of you; wearing light pink shorts, a white tank top, and a white, short-sleeved, button down over. He wore white vans, square sunglasses, and his hair clipped.

Harry took off his sunglasses to get a better look at you, and he couldn’t believe his eyes. He knew it was you, but it’s been so long that you’ve changed so much within the five months. And it was a good change.

“Hi.” He said nervously.

“Hi… Harry.”

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” His index and thumb get a hold of his lips as he pinches the skin between his fingers; something you would always admire him doing.

“It has. W-Would you like to sit?” You offered.

“I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“Harry, it’s me. You’re not imposing.” Harry gets flashbacks to when you said that five months ago when he wanted to leave, but you insisted he stay for one more night.

He nods and takes a seat across from you. You both don’t say anything, still trying to process that this is the first time you two are in each other’s presence for several months. It’s surreal, but he’s happy to be sitting in front of you.

“How have you been?” He’s genuinely asking, but he’s also curious because you broke up with him to figure yourself out.

“I’ve been… good. Yeah, I’ve been good.” Harry looks at you careful, making sure you’re not bullshitting him. But when you genuinely smile at him, he knows you’re okay.

“That’s great.”

“Yeah.” You smile. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been good as well. Just been writing a lot more, but the album… is a work in progress.” He says, trying not to say too much about it because he knows you love waiting until release day to listen to everything as a whole. He thinks you’re a bit weird for it, but respects your wishes anyways.

“That’s amazing, Harry! I’m proud of you.” You say with genuine. Harry smiles with appreciation.

“So, I have to ask… What are you doing here?”

You shrug your shoulders. “Just wanted a vacation. This was next on my list, so here I am. What are you doing here?”

“This was also next on my list.” It suddenly hit you that you and Harry made travel lists together; listing the places you’d want to go and some places were on the same number as the other, which was fortunate. And sure, Harry’s been all over the world and visited so many places, but come to think of it, he’s very truly browsed around. He never really saw the cities and towns. He would see everything from the balcony of his hotel as thousands of fans would wait outside of their hotel.

You nod at him and a waiter comes by to get Harry’s order. Once he’s done, Harry turns back to you, looking you in the eye, and smiling.

“What?”

“You cut your hair.”

“Yeah, I did.” You tuck your hair behind your ear.

“It looks great. You look beautiful.” He gives you a small smile, making his dimple pop out.

“Thank you, Harry.” He raises his eyebrows in amusement. He hasn’t heard you say a genuine thank you, when he would compliment you, for quite a while. You would either just blush and look away or whisper it out. And right then and there, he knows that this break did you good; he could see the progress you’ve made by the way you act and react to certain things. He’s so proud of you, he feels like he could cry.

While you both ate, you both talked about everything you’ve been up to. It didn’t seem like five months went by while talking, and you were glad for that. Harry has always been a great person to talk to, especially when it has to do with things you’re both passionate about. That’s what made you fall in love with him the first place; you admired his passionate side and how he could ramble for hours, even when he’s a quiet person to the outside world.

“Wait, you wore that exact same outfit and matched with Gemma?” Tears stay at the corner of your eye from all the laughing you two have done.

“Yeah! Exactly the same, besides the shoes. But everything was pretty spot on. Here, I have the picture.” He takes out his phone and shows the picture to you, making your heart flutter. You love Gemma. She was super down to earth and such a genuine person. You two have become close since fake dating and dating Harry.

“That is just gold!”

“When I arrived at the restaurant, Mum saw me first, from a distance, and just started busting out laughing. I was so confused until I got to the table.” He chuckles.

“Oh, wow.” You control your breathing from laughing. “How are they doing, by the way?”

“They’re great! Mum is busy with charity for Parkinson’s and Gems’ recently did a podcast regarding mental health, which is great.”

“I’m glad they’re doing well.”

“Yeah… they miss you.” You felt your heart sinking at that moment, and you knew that it was entirely your fault. “I miss you.” He admits.

“Harry-”

“And I know it’s not the best time to say it because you’re working on yourself, which is great! But this is the first time I’m seeing you in five months, and I’ve missed you so much that I couldn’t help-”

“I miss you too.” You interrupt his rambling. “Like, a lot.”

“You do?” He feels a sense of relief when he heard you say the words.

“Of course I do.”

“Well… okay. Thanks, I guess?” You chuckle at his response.

“Harry, I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. It was extremely selfish of me to just abruptly end it the way I did, but I just want you to know that I’m doing better—I am better.” Harry’s face softens.

“Love, you don’t need to apologize, for anything. I understand why you did it, and as much as I hated being apart from you for so many months, I’m glad you did it because I can see change on you. We’ve only been here for an hour and a half, and I can see change. I’m proud of you. Extremely proud of you.” You were definitely holding back tears, not wanting to cry in front of him just yet.

“Thank you, Harry. That means a lot coming from you. It makes me feel relieved to hear you say that because I still think about the way things went, and I thought you somewhat resented me because of it.”

“I could never. You did this for you. You didn’t do this for me or for anyone. All that matters is how you feel and how you look at yourself.” You nod in agreement, coming to terms that that’s truly all that mattered. No one else mattered. They can define and judge you all they want, but if you don’t feel that way about yourself, then that’s all that matters.

“The main reason that caused this was, not only was I insecure from the beginning, but because I’ve read stuff online and I let people get to me. I know you always told me to not look into it, but you know me, I can’t help it. They kept comparing me and calling me names; things that I’m not. Now, I know they’re not true, but then, they hurt. They were...just so mean to me.” Tears have now managed to release themselves from your eyes. Although they weren’t from laughing.

You’ve had a great time with Harry. He’s practically the only person he could make you cry from laughing, but as the tears now are from sadness and frustration, you knew it had to come out. You knew that you two had to talk about it eventually.

Harry reaches for your hand across the table and hold it gently, listening to you talk. “Love, you are a completely different person. You were way different from whatever they said about you, and you’re a different person now.” His thumb caresses the back of your hand, comforting you.

“I agree. I’ve learned now that I’m not the same. I’m much more stronger. I’m still a work in progress, but I’m doing so much better than I was before. I feel so much happier.” Harry smiles, leaning forward before bringing your hand to his mouth as he places soft kisses on it. The feeling of his lips on you makes you smile and giddy.

Happier. It was the word that you was afraid of using, just in case you would ever jinx yourself. But you felt content with yourself. You felt content doing things by yourself that you could finally depend on yourself. But now as you sit in front of Harry, all you can think about is how happy you are. And all you wanted to do was be happy with him.

“I know I’m somewhat on thin glass to ask this, and I understand why you would say no, but I just missed you so much so… do you want to, you know, start over? Maybe? I don’t even know if you still want to be with me-”

“Of course I still want to be with you.” He reassures with a smile.

“Okay, good. So, what do you say?” Wanting to hear him say it.

“Hi, I’m Harry Styles.” He reaches across the table for a hand shake.

“You dork.” You laugh.

“Can I kiss you now? Been waiting to do it for ages.” And you’ve been waiting for it too.

“Sorry, I don’t kiss people I just meet.” You tease, which makes him laugh.

“As much as that’s a relief to hear, just shut up and kiss me.”

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles one shot #1dff #one direction #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles writing

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silentauroriamthereal · 4 years

Text

A Meme

bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people

tagged by: @totallysilvergirl; therefore I consider it a command! Also, because you all know how verbose I am, I’m adding my own commentary at the bottom of each paragraph/section thingy.

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch small animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see dawn (not willingly, but since I have to get up then, anyway, one might as well enjoy it!)/ the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

No, I have big, strong hands with tiny, child-sized nails, and that’s fine. Lol. They’ve gotten very tendon-y and vein-y since I took up weight lifting and lost a lot of weight and I love that. I love the sky at any time of day. I drink all the teas, except for rooibus, which isn’t even tea, and can go to hell. Sorry, sorry. If you like it, good. Who likes the smell of dust???? Seriously. Wise? I’m not completely sure about that one. Intelligent, yes. Wise? I do strive for wisdom, and sometimes I think I achieve it. I prefer silence, honestly. Being a classical musician definitely gives one a love for having not-music on. Hence my name. I don’t really meditate, but I did briefly take up tai chi again during the three months of my shutdown. It’s over for me personally, since I had to go back to physical work a month ago. Barf. I’d rather be at home.

fire.

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

I have ridiculous hair. It’s very fine and would curl on a humid day if it’s behaving nicely, but if it doesn’t, it’s just frizz. In winter I typically dry it and straighten it, or it’s just lank and frizzy at the same time. Awful. I wore ripped things as a teen, but now I attempt to pass as an adult most of the time. I despise team sports but like doing sport-adjacent things on my own, like working out and swimming and such. I would love to learn to kiteboard, but it’s too expensive and I don’t have a way to get to a beach (no car, no money: classic). Dogs are Good. Unless they’re brainless morons (but really, even then!) I do like adventures, sometimes. I *can* talk to strangers and do it all the time. Professionally, even. About genocide. Lol. I don’t always want to, but I certainly can do it. New foods are fun. Road trips are pretty good, though I prefer planes and boats (but not cruises, gross). Fall is my favourite, especially in places that have maples. I don’t have a radio and loathe the sound of them. I haven’t heard a radio in ages, since, again, no car.

water.

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

I almost never wear bracelets, but if I do, I guess the wrist is the normal place to put them. I do love cities. I’m very much a city person. That said, I’m also quite happy to escape to a lake/ocean/wilderness now and then. I have two holes in each earlobe, a piercing in my upper left ear cartilage, and used to have an eyebrow piercing until it was pointed out that it would almost certainly be detrimental for my then-opera career (fledging though it was...) I don’t often read poetry, but I do sometimes. Thunderstorms are fantastic. I love travel, though maybe not just now. Plus, again, no money. I am naturally nocturnal, but the world doesn’t accommodate that. If I don’t set alarms, within 48 hours my sleep cycle shifts to 5am-12pm. Like clockwork. However, I get up at 6:30am for work, so... I aim for midnight. I’m constantly overtired because of this. I loathe “nostalgic” Americana with a passion. I also hate children’s TV shows, and they’re not nostalgic because I wasn’t allowed to watch any of those shows. Nothing that wasn’t deemed educational. I don’t even know what this last one means. (Too pragmatic, I guess...)

earth.

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love the chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

I wear glasses. I used to wear contacts, but one day - spring of 2009, specifically - my eyes very abruptly decided that they were not having contacts anymore, ever, period. So: glasses. I do actually like keeping my little apartment clean, but laundry is not my fave. I’m almost the opposite of a vegetarian/vegan: I’m keto/almost carnivore, lol. It’s what I need for my particular health/lifestyle goals. I eat mostly vegetables, meat, dairy, nuts/seeds, etc. Time? I’m half-German. Yeah: I’m punctual, and consider it highly rude not to be. My humour is sarcastic, silly, dry, dark - but not really “cheerful”, per se. People do come to me for advice. (”Dump his ass, girl!” Always. Lol.) I do believe in true love, though mostly for fictional characters. Lol. Mountain air: yes. Very good. I listen to music when I need to for music-themed work, or to walk or work out to. For me, listening to music is an active activity, not a background activity, ditto for podcasts, so I rarely do either, because it’s the only thing I can do. I work at being trustworthy, meanwhile.

aether.

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i can love unconditionally

I don’t wear much make-up, but I do wear some. Nothing on my face itself, just a bit of light eyeshadow and mascara. I’m pretty organized. Where I live, if I smiled at everyone, I’d get meth addicts following me home. History DOES repeat itself and not enough people fear that nearly enough. I think I do love unconditionally, but to love selflessly is always something we can work at doing more and better.

Tagging: @chained-to-the-mirror, @yaycoffee, @flannelsaurus, @inevitably-johnlocked, @cathykell, @bakingsherlycakes, @atisenia, @88thparallel, and @shiplocks-of-love. Just if you want to!

#memes and things

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heartofether · 3 years

Text

Episode 10 - Child TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Please state your message.

[THEME MUSIC AND INTRODUCTION PLAYS.]

VAL

Three-Eyed Frog Presents: The Heart of Ether.

[THEME CONTINUES BEFORE COMING TO A STOP.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S BEDROOM.]

IRENE

You’re not gonna believe this: I saw the meat lady at the grocery store again last night, and she was buying more raw meat. She was buying some other stuff this time too, like, normal groceries, but still a lot of meat. I didn’t want to bother her or make her feel bad or anything, but, I had to know. Why did she need that much meat?

She was in front of me in line, but luckily, I didn’t have much to buy. Just some chickpeas and coconut milk. I checked out as quickly as possible—the poor cashier looked like he got whiplash from how fast I swiped my card—and I ran out to the parking lot to meet her.

She had just finished loading her groceries into her car, but thankfully, she hadn’t left yet. She looked surprised when I ran up to her, but not afraid. She had this warm smile on her face, which eased my nerves, surprisingly. She asked if I needed anything.

[EMBARASSED] I probably should have introduced myself or said hello—that would have been the polite thing to do. All I said, though, was, “Why do you need that much meat?”

She didn’t get angry or upset. Somehow, she didn’t seem fazed at all. Maybe she had gotten the question before? That wouldn’t surprise me. She still had a small smile on her face when she answered, “It’s for my child.”

I was kind of surprised for some reason? I asked if she had multiple kids, and she said no, just the one.

“They’re on summer break,” she said, “and they start their junior year of high school next year. Isn’t that exciting? I remember being that age. Anyways, being a teenager and all, they’re growing a lot, so I have to make sure they’re well fed. Wouldn’t you want the best for your child?”

[STIFLED] I got kind of weirded out by that. I asked if they were getting fruits and vegetables, because those were all important, too. She said, “Well, protein is especially important for a growing teenager. Besides, they have special dietary needs.”

And there was that phrase again! “Special dietary needs!” I asked what exactly that meant, a, an iron deficiency, some sort of issue with their muscles. She looked at me with this—God, this almost tender look, as if she was my mother and I had just disappointed her.

She said, “I don’t want to speak for them. They get very embarrassed talking about it. I promise the meat won’t go to waste, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

[UNCOMFORTABLY] I apologized after that. She smiled wider, and said it was okay. Before I left, she gave me a mint from her bag. Even though I did nothing to deserve it but invade her and her kid’s privacy.

So, I guess that’s the end of the mystery of the meat lady? I still don’t know why she feeds her kid that much meat, but no way am I asking her again. Actually, after that experience, I kind of hope that’s the last time I see her.

[A PAUSE.]

IRENE

I should probably get ready. I just…I have a lot on my mind. Yeah.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[ANOTHER PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S CAR AS SHE’S DRIVING.]

[SHE IS HEARD DRIVING IN THE BACKGROUND.]

IRENE

The landlord is sending a mold inspector to my house today. He said he’ll call me and let me know as soon as possible what he thinks the best course of action is. I might have to spend a night in a motel room or something, but honestly, it will be well worth it to finally be rid of that yellow mold.

Also, I stopped by the library last night to look for any evidence about the Lorelei thing, or, that entire coven that went missing. Sure enough, there were articles about it in the local paper while it was happening, but I’m surprised it didn’t make national news. It definitely happened—I could even find the missing persons reports online—but hardly anyone outside of town covered it, let alone anywhere outside of Washington.

Some online conspiracy forums have talked about it, but no one ever came to a solid conclusion as to what happened.

[A FORCED CHUCKLE.] Didn’t realize how close to home the whole situation hit until I started researching it.

[A PAUSE.]

IRENE

[SINCERE] I hope you didn’t get kidnapped, Rose—or, killed by some weird cult, or whatever. Though, for a while, can I be honest? That possibility actually kind of made me feel better.

[SADDER, MORE DISTANT] I mean, the alternative is that you chose to leave. For a while, I thought that if I could just pretend it wasn’t your fault, then that meant you kept your promise. [QUIETER] To not leave without telling me.

[A BEAT, THEN, A SHAKY BREATH.] I’ve thought about it since then, though, and I think you probably did choose to. That was what you wanted, right? You wanted the spontaneity, the excitement, the leap of faith, whatever. I wouldn’t be surprised if one night, you just decided you were tired of waiting, and left.

Doesn’t make it hurt any less, though. Knowing that we had plans to leave together, and you just decided it would be better to go without me. No warning, no big talk, not even a letter.

I’m not angry anymore, don’t worry. I’m so indecisive all the time, I probably would have dragged you down.

[STRAINED] Still.

[a long pause.]

IRENE

Why do I still tell stories to you like this is a conversation? [SHE SCOFFS.] You don’t care, you—

[SHE TAKES A SHAKY BREATH BEFORE ENDING THE RECORDING.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[ANOTHER PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S OFFICE.]

IRENE

I’m about to go on my lunch break. [SUSPICOUS] Haven’t heard from the mold inspector, which is odd.

Look, I just wanted to talk because…I’ve been thinking a lot. Especially after looking through the newspaper reports for the coven incident. I think—I think whatever’s happening, it’s the whole town. That’s gotta be it, right?

Okay, I know it’s absolutely wild. I’m not saying that this is like, one of those mysterious little towns with some big supernatural secret that the whole town is hiding.

[A BEAT.] But that’s basically what I’m saying. Why else wouldn’t this place show up on a map? And, also, why else would an entire group of people go missing without hardly any news coverage?

[RAMBLING] It’s like there’s some big thing—and I’m not sure if everyone in town knows about it, or just a select few—but it’s like some big secret that everyone just knows not to talk about. Only, maybe, people don’t actually know the secret? Because Phoebe, who should know everything because of her grandmother, still knows close to nil.

Maybe—okay, maybe it’s not a secret that the townsfolk are keeping, but like, the actual town is keeping this secret from not only its own citizens, but the world. It’s like, some big thing is happening and nobody actually knows what it is. They just know it’s there.

[A PAUSE.]

IRENE

I have no idea what the fuck that means or why I said that.

[THERE’S A KNOCK AT HER DOOR.]

CAROL

[MUFFLED] Irene?

IRENE

[SURPRISED] Mm—Yeah?

CAROL

Can I come in?

IRENE

Um, sure.

[THE DOOR OPENS. CAROL STEPS INSIDE THE OFFICE.]

IRENE

What’s up?

CAROL

[NOW CLEAR] I, uh… How are you doin’?

IRENE

[CAUTIOUSLY] I’m...fine? How about you?

CAROL

Ah, I’m alright—say, uh, not to infringe on your privacy or anything like that, but I wanted to ask you about somethin’.

IRENE

[SLOWLY] Go ahead.

CAROL

[WARILY] So, I was talkin’ to Aden the other day in the breakroom, and he mentioned to me that you’ve been having this...issue. Somethin’ about a huh...jeez, how did he put it, eldritch dirt abomination?

IRENE

[DREADFUL] Oh, god, did he tell you about the dirt thing—?

CAROL

[OVERLAPPING] I’m worried ‘bout you, Irene. Alright? There, I said it.

IRENE

[SHE SCOFFS.] What, is this an, an intervention? I’m fine.

CAROL

[CONCERNED] You’ve been acting strange since...well, ever since the day we met, I reckon. Er, no offense.

[A BEAT.] Still, first it was these recordings you do, talkin’ to someone who you say is never gonna listen. Now you’re trying to hunt down some sort of mystical forest monster that nobody else has ever seen.

IRENE

[DEFENSIVE] That’s not true. Alright, Dorothy Wood had a notebook—

CAROL

You mean the woman who used to run the bookstore? Bless her heart, but, nobody ever knew what she was doing in her private time. Not even her poor granddaughter.

IRENE

That’s what we’re trying to figure out.

CAROL

I just—I don’t want you to get involved with somethin’ you can’t turn back from. Alright? I, I don’t ever want to see you or Aden put yourselves in danger, and all this stuff you’ve been doin’ is just…

IRENE

[A BEAT.] Just what?

CAROL

Just, well, you know.

IRENE

[GROWING GRADUALLY MORE UPSET] No, I don’t. Say it. Do you think I’m being delusional? I know what I saw was real—

CAROL

[OVERLAPPING] I never said that, Irene. I just want to make sure you’re doing okay.

IRENE

I am. Okay? Everything’s just peachy. I’m doing my job just fine, aren’t I? That should be your primary concern, not whatever I do when I get home each night.

CAROL

[SHE SIGHS.] No, you’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry for bein’ so invasive.

IRENE

[A BEAT.] It’s alright.

CAROL

Just let me know if you ever need anything, alright? I care about you, not just as an employee.

IRENE

[STRAINED] Appreciate it.

[A PAUSE.]

CAROL

Say, you headin’ to lunch soon?

IRENE

Uh, yup, I was thinking about going out to grab something. Do you—?

[THERE’S FOOTSTEPS IN THE BACKGROUND AS ADEN WALKS BY.]

ADEN

[CUTTING HER OFF] Irene, have you downloaded it yet?

IRENE

[SHE GIVES AN OVEREXAGGERATED SIGH.] Not yet.

[MORE FOOTSTEPS AS HE WALKS IN.]

ADEN

Do you still not have enough storage?

IRENE

I have the space, I just have better things to do.

And I’m not a total caveman, you know. [UNDER HER BREATH] had Tumblr back in high school for a bit.

ADEN

[HE LAUGHS, OVERLAPPING.] Tumblr? Are you joking? You were a Tumblr kid?

IRENE

For like, three months! I was fifteen, dude, give me a break.

CAROL

[SHE CHUCKLES.] Anyways, I was just wondering if y’all wanted me to grab somethin’ for you while I’m out? I’ll take a list, if you want to start writing down your orders. I’ll probably go to the café nearby, if that’s alright with y’all.

ADEN

Oh, sure! That’d be great! Thank you! Irene, do you have some paper?

IRENE

Yup. Thanks, Carol!

CAROL

Not a problem.

[A PEN IS HEARD CLICKING, AND WRITING ON A PAD OF PAPER IS HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND.

ADEN

Actually, Irene, I was hoping to get to talk to you. Do you have any plans tonight? Because you still haven’t come over to my house yet, and I think it’s a crime I haven’t gotten to show you my collection of knitted cats yet.

IRENE

[TEASING] And I think it’s weird that you’re so passionate about showing off your collection of knitted cats.

ADEN

[DEFENSIVE] I worked really hard on them, okay?

IRENE

[SHE LAUGHS.] Mm, in all seriousness, maybe? I actually have a mold inspector over at my house today, and I might have to call him soon, because he still hasn’t...

[HER TONE BECOMES MORE SERIOUS.] …gotten back to me.

[A BRIEF, EERIE INSTRUMENTAL NOISE ECHOES IN THE BACKGROUND.]

IRENE

Why are you guys looking at me like that?

CAROL

[SHE CLEARS HER THROAT.] You said you had a mold inspector?

[CAROL’S VOICE SOUNDS CALM, BUT THERE IS A GROWING PANIC UNDERNEATH.]

IRENE

[SLOWLY] Yes. This mold started growing in my house when I first moved in, and it kept getting worse, so I hired someone to take care of it.

CAROL

[HER BREATH HITCHES.] And what exactly does this mold look like?

IRENE

Um…it’s yellow?

[CAROL TAKES IN A SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH.]

IRENE

[CONT.] Like, puss yellow? Kind of smells like rotten meat?

CAROL

Alright. Irene, what’s most important right now is that you stay calm.

ADEN

[MUTTERING TO HIMSELF] This can’t be happening, this can not actually be happening.

IRENE

Okay, what’s going on? What are you guys not telling me?

CAROL

Look, I need to go grab something, but after that, I think we need to go to your house right now.

IRENE

Wait, what—?

CAROL

[OVERLAPPING] This next part is very important: have you touched it at all? The slightest touch—

[CREEPY, TENSE MUSIC BEGINS BUILDING IN THE BACKGROUND.]

CAROL

[CONT.] —even just your pinky toe?

IRENE

[GROWING FRUSTRATED] No, of course not! What the hell is happening? Aden?

ADEN

[PANICKING] Irene, I’m so sorry. I’ve never actually experienced this before, I—I don’t—oh, Jesus, oh, no.

CAROL

Aden, it’s okay. We’re gonna be okay.

ADEN

But she’s—

CAROL

[OVERLAPPING] It’s fine. You just stay on hold for us, okay? I’ll call you if anything happens.

IRENE

[SNAPPING] Okay, you know what? I’m getting really, really fed up with things happening and me never knowing what’s going on. That’s all I’ve gotten ever since I moved to this town. So, either one of you tells me what’s going on, or I’ll go home and find out myself.

CAROL

[PANICKED] You’re in some grave danger, Irene. That’s the best way I can describe it right now, ‘cause we don’t got time. Just, trust me. Please.

[A TENSE PAUSE.]

IRENE

Fine.

[THE MUSIC ENDS WITH THE CHIME OF A BELL.]

[THERE IS A PAUSE BEFORE AN AUDITORY GLITCHING NOISE PLAYS, WHICH IS FOLLOWED BY A FEW SECONDS OF CHOPPY STATIC. THERE IS A CLICK.]

UNKNOWN VOICE

—hoped the Foundation would have been a little more generous with their funds, but, also I’m not surprised they—

[THE SPEAKER IS CUT OFF BY ANOTHER AUDITORY GLITCH.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Today's quote is: “My soul is a black maelstrom, a great madness spinning about a vacuum, the swirling of a vast ocean around a hole in the void, and in the waters, more like whirlwinds than waters, float images of all I ever saw or heard in the world: houses, faces, books, boxes, snatches of music and fragments of voices, all caught up in a sinister, bottomless whirlpool.”

Fernando Pessoa, as published in The Book of Disquiet, 1982.

[OUTRO MUSIC AND CREDITS PLAY.]

#heart of ether transcripts

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amoveablejake · 3 years

Text

Well, Here We Are

It is time for the obligatory year in review piece, I know, try and contain your excitement.

Well, here we are. The end of another calendar year. 2020 is drawing to a close and so like many, if not all, journalistic outlets I too will be doing my year in review. Do I count as a journalistic outlet I hear you ask? Yes. I’ve decided that I do. This is my column and I’m going to to pretend that I am a columnist here. And I can’t hear your eye rolls because I’m busy hiding behind my clicking keyboard.

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about how I wanted to structure my year in review, for instance did I want to go through each category in a classic way and also would I also only speak about things that came out this year. The answer to both, is a no. Instead I am going to present to you my alternative awards for the year. There will still be runners up but the categories may be a little bit all over the place so if you were planning on counting on a sure thing award winner that might be out the window now. That being said, shall we dive into perhaps the most chaotic awards show you’re going to experience this year.

The album that I listened to literally on repeat for a week whilst I was working and as result now know ridiculously well. Perhaps too well - Winner: Pink Floyd ‘Dark Side of the Moon’

Right. So. Back in April one rainy Monday afternoon I put on ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ to listen to it through in its entirety for the first time. I had heard songs from it before and I was familiar with Pink Floyd’s music before this but this was what sent me down a spiral of their discography, so much so that Spotify have dubbed them my artist of the year based on playtime. Whilst I would not consider them to be my artist of the year, I can’t deny how deep I’ve gone into their library and in particular ‘Dark Side of the Moon’. I quite literally had it playing on repeat for the entirety of that week and now, now I simply don’t know if I ever truly existed before that album. Am I the album? Is the album me? I’m in too deep.

The best representation of Seattle in a post apocalyptic video game - Winner: ‘The Last of Us Part Two’

Honestly, I know that this category makes it pretty clear that Last of Us was always going to win but that is because if it wasn’t on this list somewhere I think it might have indeed been a federal crime. This year I played both editions of Joel and Ellie’s story pretty much back to back and boy oh boy was that quite the ride. Part Two is a gruesome, grueling, revenge fueled ride that in all honesty is some of the best storytelling I have ever experienced. In any medium. It’s narrative is phenomenal, its game design is unparalleled, the voice acting and soundtrack are both out of this world and the way it looks is breathtaking. It is a game that continuously left me speechless and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since I put it down. The fact that Joel looks like my Dad did and wears the same clothes only partly adds to the emotions it makes me feel. Although I won’t pretend the bit where Joel is talking to Ellie didn’t hit me quite hard. But hey, thats the game’s point. Its a story designed to make you feel and oh boy does it achieve that.

The football player who came out of nowhere to bring life back to my club - Winner: Bruno Fernandes

It has been a lot ol’ time since I’ve seen a player that I instantly fell for. Bruno Fernandes arrived in Manchester with an already strong reputation but he has completely transformed a team and shows no sign of slowing down. His first twelve months have been unparalleled and the comparisons drawn with a certain other Portuguese player who was worn that red shirt are not only warranted but deserved.

The band who I’ve been missing all my life: Winner - Niteflyte

Quite frankly, this is a very hard award to give. There were quite a few front runners however, it has to be Niteflyte. I got introduced to Niteflyte via a podcast about the CIA’s involvement with the soundtrack of the Berlin wall coming down (’Wind Of Change’, listen to it now. Well after you’ve finished reading this piece that is). The podcast only played Niteflyte because one of the figures it was investigating used to manage the band. It was a thirty second sound bite if that and it stopped me in my tracks. I was walking in my old city at the time and I had to stop on the street and find the album the song was from and put it on straight away. I have previously written about Niteflyte and their self titled album on the blog so go back and read that for a more in depth look however, if you take one thing from this it might be that if I was going to give an artist of the year award, lets just say I think I know who it would go to.

The best motion picture handling of a father that has passed away that I have seen. Ever - Winner: ‘Onward’

When I first heard what ‘Onward’ was about I was, hesitant. Any film where a parent particularly a father comes back to life always makes me filled with trepdiation and this was the case when I went to go and watch ‘Onward’ back in March (the last film I saw in the cinema before all of this). Instead, what I found was an incredibly moving and sensitive film about losing a parent that had at its end the best handling of a reunion between father and son that I have ever seen on the big screen. I have watched it a second time since and I still found it to be incredibly well done. ‘Onward’ might well be my film of the year because of it, I’m that impressed. It is also a great film in its own right but hey, I can’t deny why it sticks out in my head.

The show that keeps on getting better and better: Winner - ‘The Mandalorian’

Sigh. Everytime I think that that ‘The Mandalorian’ couldn’t possibly get any better it goes and proves me wrong. This year started off with the finale of series one and it has ended with the conclusion of the second series. It is a masterpiece and for that I don’t want to ruin its ending here. Instead I will say that it does get better and better each week and for this life long die hard Star Wars fan, hell, it might be my favourite Star Wars property. And I know that won’t mean anything to you, but to me, that is saying something.

Okay, so, I could keep going on and on with these awards however, its the festive period and I don’t want to keep you hanging around too much so instead I am going to include below some honourable mentions with a little sentence about each.

‘Anxious People’ - If I was to give a book of the year award winner this would be it. In fact its one of my top ten books ever. Its perfection. Read it. Now.

‘Animal Crossing: New Horizons’ - Released at the perfect time and all these months later it still captures my heart everytime I go on it.

‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ soundtrack - Look. I don’t need to make my feelings about this album any clearer. We know I love it and I hope that you’ve listened to it by now and you do too.

Diego Maradona - The greatest of all time. There’s nothing more to say.

‘The Prestige’ - Oh boy. I had heard about this film a lot from the IGN UK podcast over the years and it did not disappoint at all. Especially who plays a certain Mr Tesla. That reveal blew me away.

Joe Exotic - Watching ‘Tiger King’ really felt like event viewing and came along at the perfect time like Animal Crossing. Joe Exotic, I don’t know what to say but he has earned his place on this list thats for sure.

‘I’ve Got My Second Wind’ - I heard this on one of the early days in January, maybe the second or third and I’ve been listening to it ever since. My song of the year.

Philippe Auclair - Football journalist and singer. Auclair who features on the Guardian’s Football Weekly podcast regularly is an incredibly articulate speaker and is never afraid to hold the more questionable footballing authorities accountable. One of the writers and figures in football that I look up to the most. Oh and hes an excellent singer. What a man.

Napoli FC - This was the year that I fell in love with Napoli. Theres no looking back now, I finally found my own team.

‘Uncharted Four: A Thief’s End’ - The game that showed me, truly, how good games can be. I felt like it was a crime that this game is so perfect. It feels like the inside of my head and I never wanted it to end.

My brother, James - Look. I know you’re reading this and you more than deserve your place on this list. I was going to give you a proper award but I couldn’t quite get the wording right. Anyway, the point is you’re on the list as you always will be. (And yes, you’re in the same section as Joe Exotic, quite the compliment I know)

So there we have it. 2020. Hopefully the above gives you something to think about and some things to consume over this festive period before we go again for the new year. This won’t be the final piece for the year but all the same, I hope its a bright 2021 for you, see you in the future.

- Jake, a man who is immediately re assessing the awards, 27/12/2020

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csykora · 4 years

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https://slate.com/transcripts/c2JZaHhQeC9QMGlhdUFpUGEycnl0UnRnNUdJRmo5R0tCdG02ck5pTTRhTT0=

On this week’s Hang Up and Listen podcast, we talked to two members of the group, both from UCLA: Elisha Guidry, a rising sophomore defensive back from Long Beach, California, and Otito Ogbonnia, a rising junior defensive tackle from Houston. The following transcript of that conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity. The link to the full audio interview is at the bottom of this piece. —Joel Anderson

Joel Anderson: I guess the first question is: How did this group and the list of demands come together?

Otito Ogbonnia: It was something that we always knew, individually and teamwise, that this is a sentiment that most people felt. We were just waiting for an opportunity to get this whole thing going. And this started with some of the guys from Cal who used this as an opportunity to demand change and try to really get something done here. It was really Zoom that allowed us to do this whole thing, and being in a pandemic. It’d be very hard to coordinate a movement this big in normal times.

Elisha Guidry: Also, the social movement, or the civil rights movement really that’s going on in our country also inspired us. There’s a lot of inequalities that people are noticing. People are being awakened to seeing some of the things that go on in this world, and I feel like college football has many of them as well.

Josh Levin: Elisha, there are 17 demands on the list. What are the top line ones, as far as you’re concerned?

Guidry: For me personally, I feel like they’re all important. Definitely the players’ safety with the COVID, and ensuring that if a player decides to opt out, that his eligibility is honored, as well as getting insurance for players when they finish playing, because football takes a toll on the body and the mind. And I feel like once the player is done, they’re kind of just kicked out. They’re kind of just thrown in the world without a lot of guidance.

The image and likeness is very important because players deserve to be able to create wealth for themselves with this sport. I feel like a lot of players come from lower-income homes, a lot of players have struggles and football is kind of their way out. So just having an opportunity to be able to affect their families and affect their communities and people around them with their sport, even if they don’t make it to the NFL, is very important.

Stefan Fatsis: The demand that’s gotten a lot of attention is asking for 50 percent of revenue from the conference to be directed toward players. I mean, realistically, there’s no way that the Pac-12 leaders are going to agree to that immediately. So it does feel like by asking for it, you’re bringing this out into the open, the idea that athletes are aware of the inequities here and that we’ve got to move toward some system that helps compensate them in some way. Is that how you view it or are the ambitions higher among the group?

Ogbonnia: That’s exactly how we view it. I think when you exploit a group of people for this amount of time, it’s just kind of what you get. They had their opportunity to fix this, multiple opportunities. And one thing we, as a group, aren’t willing to accept is the idea that it’s not possible. This is a country which was brought up upon working hard and doing the impossible. And there are ways to get it done. Fifty percent of revenue is ambitious and it’s high and it’s asking a lot. But we live in this country, just like everybody else. And in regards to name, image, and likeness, why should we be the only citizens in this country who are denied making money off of who we are and our brand? And why is it that a kid at UCLA being a musician can go perform and make a couple hundred bucks off of their name, image, and likeness, but when it comes down to athletes, it’s a whole different story?

And I think that’s where that social justice kind of comes in, right? When you deny a group of people certain rights, you start to wonder why you’re doing it.

Anderson: A little more than a month ago, before even the We Are United movement, UCLA football players published their own list of demands related to coronavirus protections. So there was obviously an activist streak within the team already. And I just was curious to know, where is the team with that?

Ogbonnia: I forgot to mention about when you asked about the start of this movement, one thing those Cal guys told us is that they saw our letter to our university. They saw what we published and they kind of took that lead from us. So that was cool to see that.

And in regards to where we’re at now, for the most part, we’re doing well in terms of guaranteeing COVID protections. And we’re taking a very conservative approach to getting back to play in competition, if that’s even feasible.

[But] this is above UCLA. It’s above any one conference or any one school. It’s above any one person or any one culture or athletic department. It’s a conference thing. And the conference has the power to get some of these things done. As you’ve seen, the NCAA and the conference aren’t necessarily as conjoined as one may think. And a lot of times, they work separately in a lot of these matters.

Guidry: The Cal guys saw the things that we were asking for and they had to stop themselves—like, OK, we don’t have the same type of protection, and that’s something we want, because we feel like we’re taking this risk coming back to school and trying to participate in this game.

We all love football. We all spend so much time playing, since we were kids, and we want to do that as safely as possible, especially during this pandemic. Just asking around is what got everybody started and kind of got us all connected. And then we realized that there were more issues than just with the COVID-19 precautions.

Levin: I think it’s important for folks listening to this to understand how amazing and unusual it is what you guys are doing—even doing this interview. There was a story recently about the University of Iowa. They didn’t even let their players be on social media. The amount of control at these programs, about what they allow you guys to say, what they allow you guys to do in public, it’s so restrictive. And so the fact that you guys are talking to us about this, the fact that you put this message out, it’s an enormous deal. And we’ve already seen, there are varying reports about what’s going on at Washington State, in your conference, about potential repercussions for players there for joining this movement and for speaking out. [Editor’s note: According to a transcript published by the Dallas Morning News, Washington State coach Nick Rolovich told player Kassidy Woods that if Woods was a part of the Pac-12 unity movement, “that’s gonna be an issue.” Rolovich later said in a statement, “WSU football student-athletes who have expressed support for the #WeAreUnited group will continue to be welcome to all team-related activities.”] Are you guys at all concerned about potential repercussions from UCLA? And are you aware of the power imbalance? Your coach, Chip Kelly, was an NFL coach. He’s a multi-multimillionaire and you guys—you could have your scholarships taken away, potentially.

Ogbonnia: I think that’s something that a lot of people consider when they’re joining this movement. When you join something with this magnitude, you get the idea of what you’re getting yourself into and kind of make [peace] with that, with the consequences of what you’re doing. Of course, I would love to keep my scholarship and stay on the team. And our coach or our administration has never threatened us in that manner. And I don’t think they will. It’s been relatively positive and we haven’t seen any type of repercussion, retaliation from anybody from our school.

And it hurts to see that type of stuff being exemplified at Washington State, because you tell people to stand up for what they believe in in this world. When you want to support something, I think you should have the freedom to do it. And in regards to holding your tongue in a lot of these things, I think that’s where the conferences and the universities and college football as a whole gains their control over individuals. Because you start to feel a certain way after you’re done with football, when you’re in the system and you feel silenced, you feel like you can’t say anything, and that takes a toll on you. And it’s taken a toll on me until I kind of had a realization of who I am and who I want to be in this world. And that’s not somebody who’s silenced or who feels like they can’t be who they are because of what I’m doing.

I don’t think that’s what we sign up for. [It] doesn’t say that in our letter of intent. You shouldn’t bar anybody from freedom of speech. They should be able to say what they want without feeling like they may get cut or that they may get blackballed by their team or their coach. And that’s why that Washington State situation is very significant in our eyes in this movement. We’re well aware of what’s going on and we’re trying to do the best we can to help those guys out there.

Guidry: I feel like for real change to come, you’ve kind of got to put yourself out there. If I have to be sacrificed to have a greater movement come, then that’s something I’m OK with. If I got to sit out to help bring a change for my children or my friends’ children that are to come or the next generation, that’s something that, at the end of the day, it’s going to make things better. And if I have to be the one that has to be at expense for that, that’s something that I’m OK with.

#long post #ncaa #college football #the link is to the full transcript which has link to the audio

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missmentelle · 4 years

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TW: abortion mention. I'm foreign and in America. My husband is a US soldier. We've been married a short time, just shy of 3 years. But I'm ready to leave for a variety of reasons (found out about multiple affairs on his end, relationship changed after we had our daughter, he's increasingly getting violent and I'm scared, etc.) And I found out I'm 4wks along...I've slept on the decision for two days...(1 😔)

(3 😔)...I know it's going to be hard to overcome this. I'll be juggling the breakdown of a marriage and not wanting to take on another pregnancy alone (he was deployed 7/9 months and I had my mum travel from my home country to keep me company) or have to be a single mum to two children under two. Is there anything you'd recommend to take this off my mind? Thank you for listening x

Hey, I’m really sorry to hear that you’re in this situation. Unfortunately, the second part of this ask did not come through, but I think I get the gist of what you’re saying. This sounds like an extremely unhealthy and dangerous situation to be in, and my biggest priority here is you being able to leave the situation safely.

How you decide to proceed with this pregnancy is completely up to you. If you don’t want to continue with the pregnancy, you absolutely have the right to make that decision - it is your decision alone, and no one else gets to tell you what to do or how to feel about it. You are in an absolutely impossible situation right now, and no one has the right to judge your choices; you are the expert on your own life, and you are capable of making the right choice for you. You don’t owe anyone an explanation - if terminating the pregnancy is what you want to do or what you need to do right now, that’s okay, and it is your decision to make.

I also strongly advise you to get some legal advice at your first possible opportunity. There are a lot of really complicated things going on in your situation - domestic violence, the military, immigration, a child - and it’s important to get the advice you need to navigate this situation and walk away with the best possible outcome. As a military spouse, you are entitled to free and confidential legal advice from the US military legal assistance service; military legal assistance attorneys cannot actually represent you in court, but they can help you find a civilian family lawyer who is familiar with military issues, and they may be able to help you pay for some or all of the cost of retaining a civilian lawyer. Please talk to them as soon as it is safe for you to do so - abusers often use things like child custody as weapons in a divorce, and it’s extremely important to have someone on your side fighting for you, especially when your family and friends are overseas. Legal services can also help you find assistance with immigration law if you are worried that leaving your husband may complicate your immigration process or conditional green card status, and you intend to remain in the United States.

I also strongly encourage you to get in touch with a domestic violence agency to help you make a safe escape from your situation. Without having friends or family in the country to assist you, it’s especially important to turn to an agency for assistance in navigating this situation. Your best bet is probably the US military’s Family Advocacy Program - you can choose to make a restricted report to the FAP, meaning that the report will not be shared with law enforcement, military police or your husband’s command if you don’t want it to be. They can assign you an advocate who will help you with safety planning, resources, and connect you with mental health counselling. The FAP have a better understanding of the programs and benefits available to you as a military spouse, and they can help you utilize those options in escaping from the marriage. If you don’t feel comfortable turning to a resource that has ties to the military, there should also be civilian options in your area that can offer similar services.

As far as distractions go, at this point, anything goes. I wouldn’t recommend meditation or “soothing” music in your case - you are better off looking for things that are engaging and demand your full attention so that you don’t have room for any other thoughts in your head. Watch your favourite shows on Netflix, or watch new things that look interesting - watch Tiger King if you haven’t yet, it’s easily the most distracting thing I have ever seen. Listen to interesting podcasts or YouTube channels. Video games are a great distraction because they’re completely immersive - if you don’t have a Steam account, now is a great time to get one. Even playing games on your phone can be an escape - free phone games have come a long way in the last few years and there are some great ones out there that you can get lost in for a while. Putting on some loud music and exercising - whether in your home or outside, if social distancing guidelines in your area permit - can also be a great way to distract yourself.Whatever you find helpful for taking your mind off of things, even for a little while, is valid - do what you need to do to survive until you are able to get the help that you need to escape, and until you reach a safe place where you can start to unpack some of the things that you have experienced. Best of luck to you. Stay safe. Miss Mentelle

#Anonymous

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neshabeingchildish · 4 years

Text

Keep Char Distracted.

Share-a-Lair 4

Decided to split NYE into two chapters, trying not to make the chapter too long. Besides, we haven’t seen much of Henry and Jasper and I really wanted to dig more into Henry and Max’s conflict as housemates.

@adorkable-blackgirl @chenoahchantel @henryhearts @kiddangers

Keep Char Distracted.

Jasper and Henry were chatting about NYE plans whenever Max was TRYING to distract his mind from this past week’s thoughts of Charlotte and work on his latest invention. Sure - he selected to do so in the living room, and that was no place for science experiments… well… technically ANY place was a place for science experiments. But, he was still annoyed to hear their voices, despite the fact that he had not heard a single word that either of them were saying. Until one of them said, "What'll we do about Charlotte?" He hated that just the mere mention of her name demanded his attention, but there he was, unintentionally eavesdropping.

"She probably won't want to, anyway," Henry said. "Not really her thang."

"Yeah, but… she'll still wanna be included. What if she says YES, and we have to spend your first solo NYE hearing her talk about how bad every idea is! Henry… it's a party BOAT! Drunk young people on a boat, in the middle of the water, specifically to avoid the police..."

"When you're right, you're right. Maybe we can get her a distraction?" Henry suggested. "Like, get somebody else to hang out with her for New Year's Eve and let her be their party pooper!" And because they were sure he wasn't listening at all, then he heard both of them cheer, "MAX!"

He looked up as they headed over and he sighed. "Max, buddy, we need a HUGE favor and I will repay you in - doing whatever you say about the lair for the entire month of January!" Henry offered. Fool. Max would've did this for free. But there was no need to make himself appear too available.

"Whatever it is, I'm not remotely interested," Max lied. No other word for it. He just straight up lied about it right to those boys’ faces.

"Hear us out, first," Jasper said.

"Sounded like you two wanna be alone for New Year's Eve, so you want me to cart Charlotte around so you won't have to man up and admit that you don't want her around," Max said.

“I know it might sound bad, but it’s just that this is going to be a potentially excellent night, and as much as we both love Charlotte, she’s not really one to overlook potential danger, not even at the expense of potential excellence!”

"And I'm not some scapegoat. Just tell her you want a nice evening with your boyfriend and be done with it."

“My what?” Henry asked. Max walked away, with his experiment in hand, hiding a smirk. Henry gave chase, “Listen! Dude… I KNOW Char’s not fun and she’s kind of a super nerd and is pretty uptight.”

“You’re really selling her here, Hen,” Max said, deadpan.

“Two months!” Henry said. “January AND February.”

“You agree to make sure she’s not the one doing the chores in the community space and I’ll consider it,” Max said. Henry winced. Max shrugged and kept walking.

Jasper looked desperately at Henry, clasping his hands together, as though in prayer. “Fine! But, just so you know, she loves stuff like that. Cleaning up and being helpful and stuff. You’re taking away her potential joy by forcing my hand.”

“I’m sure,” Max said, rolling his eyes. “And just so you know… Charlotte’s not a nerd. You’re way more of a nerd than she is.” Max gave him a playful double slap on the cheek and Henry gasped at the suggestion.

“How do you figure?”

“I mean… Look at her and look at you,” Max said. Jasper looked like he was actually considering this. Max was the smartest man he had ever met, with the exception of Schwoz and to be honest, Jasper wasn’t actually smart enough to fully determine which of the two of them WAS the smarter man. Henry laughed uncomfortably and looked at Jasper, awaiting some type of backup in this conversation. Max expounded. “Okay, I get that she’s a straight A student, makes academic lists, spends her time working instead of having fun, BUT - she’s super hot, her hair is goals, has an amazing fashion sense, can skillfully do cool shit like beat everybody’s ass in video games and play musical instruments - SHE was in a band, Henry. Were YOU ever in a band?”

“What did you… have to like… write a report on her?” Henry asked, uncomfortably, laughing.

Jasper answered, “He WASN’T in a band! But I was!”

“JASPER is less of a nerd than you,” Max added, to twist the knife. He really didn’t like it whenever Henry said negative stuff about Charlotte. He actually agreed that Charlotte was a nerd… But, he also knew that he could make this argument in her favor, and just because she was a nerd didn’t mean that Henry had to keep repeating it out loud.

Henry gasped and Jasper nodded, very pleased, until Henry said, “Jasper had social media accounts for BUCKET collections AND a Bucketeer podcast!”

“Jasper ALSO had a podcast? Man, Henry, what do YOU bring to the cool kids’ table when you aren’t in uniform?”

“Wha… Well… I bring not being an uptight, straight A student who wears belly shirts or collects buckets…”

“HEY!” Jasper said and folded his arms.

“What’s wrong with belly shirts?” Max asked.

“Yeah, what is?” Jasper insisted, now, clearly in Max’s corner. Truthfully, Max could wear a belly shirt. Lord knows he had the abs for them… But he never would, because once again, he agreed with Henry that they were pretty lame, but once again, he wasn’t gonna give Henry the satisfaction. This was a battle, of sorts. Over Charlotte’s honor and good name. Max didn’t care what the facts were, as long as he won it.

Henry shook his head. “I’m just… Jasper. Come on. You think I’M the nerdiest in our trio? It’s obviously Charlotte, and if it’s not… I mean… It CAN’T be ME. I’m Kid Danger, for crying out loud.”

Jasper rolled his eyes, looked at Max and Max knew this was about to be sweet satisfaction. “I once had a birthday party that every kid in Swellview showed up to because Captain Man stopped in. Henry had a party a few years later that Piper couldn’t convince her cool friends to show up at, because they knew that it was Henry’s, even with her public figure status and vouching for him.” Max laughed. Henry stammered. Jasper wasn’t done. “Henry had the same pick up line for years - never worked. Two of his girlfriends left him to go to a reality show, meanwhile, I had an obsessive girl who had to be pushed out of a window to stay away from me.”

“I understand that,” Max said. “Mine used to sleep outside of my house. Well, it’s clear to me who’s the nerdiest nerd of your circle.” Jasper looked worried for a moment, so Max reassured him, “It’s Henry, Dude.” Jasper fist pumped.

Henry and he began to argue about their accomplishments versus failures, “Captain Man only showed up because I got him to! Use your brain, Man.”

“I had my own hero day because I can be brave WITHOUT a sidekick suit. You’re unofficially the Playground Pooper!”

“You were the one that was ACTUALLY considered bizarre enough to BE the Playground Pooper!” Max smirked and continued on his way out of the room.

“Hey! You never said that you agreed to distract her!” Henry said.

Max turned around and smiled at him, “Oh, right. Yeah, you had me at “get somebody else to hang out with her for New Year's Eve and let her be their party pooper.” It slowly dawned on Henry that Max had heard their entire conversation and played him for a fool. Why would someone do this? Like he could read his mind, Max said, “Charlotte deserves better friends.”

Jasper gasped. “I would fight a shark for Char! I just… don’t want her out there with us for New Year’s Eve.” Max rolled his eyes. “Is… Is Henry still the nerdiest, or was that ALL a game?”

“He definitely is. I mean, you strike me as a bisexual individual. Look at their curve records. Compare the quality of people that have turned him down or been interested in him verses hers.”

“What does THAT have to do with…”

“Hot people dig hot people,” Max said.

“Way more hot people have liked and been turned down by Charlotte!” Jasper said with realization.

“Joss Moss said that I was cute. That cancels out like… HALF of Charlotte’s list! Joss Moss is a wealthy socialite and the daughter of an infamous mob boss.” Henry fussed, flustered.

“I say that Charlotte’s cute,” Max said and folded his arms. “I’m a global superhero.”

“That wins,” Jasper whispered, very impressed with how hot Max was, especially right now, for some reason. Finally, Henry conceded and Max left the room. He really had to prep if he was gonna be hanging out with Charlotte tonight!

Charlotte came into the lair through the front entrance. Max had been a little less unbearable this week, so she decided to test it out and if she ran into a problem, she’d simply never come back to this house, ever again. She laughed. J/K, she thought. Her boys were here. Whenever she got inside, it was pretty quiet. She expected Henry and Jasper to be in the common area, but maybe they were in the tower. Ugh. Now, she’d have to walk to the tower…

“Hey!” Max cheered, suddenly and when she heard his voice, she turned to say it back, but she lost her ability to speak or move. He smiled brightly, with this look of accomplishment and while she realized that she probably had something to do with that; her body had nothing. “SO, long story short, you’re stuck with me tonight and Henry and Jasper are at the Man Cave getting ready to go to some kind of NYE thing.”

She scoffed, “WHAT? They let me drive all the way here and just stuck me with you???” It came out more harsh than she expected, and sounded like she was attacking him, when she meant for it to be directed at the boys. His smile was less confident, now and his eyebrows looked a little… bothered. “I mean… I’m sure that you have much better things to do than have to pretend to entertain me tonight.”

He perked up again and shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t have to pretend. You’ll be entertained. There’s a party in Metroburg or one in Hiddenville, Lady’s Choice.”

“Ummm… What are the pros and cons of each?” she asked. He hoped she’d loosen up before they hit any party.

“Pros are they’re parties. Cons are they’re not gonna abandon you to a guy that you barely know and hardly like?” He said, huffing a laugh.

“Hurtful,” she said.

“Well, we’re even, then.”

“Metroburg is full of open superpowers and probably has the greatest technology in daily life… But, I probably need to visit there on a day trip, not the night of a party, whenever people are going to be drinking. Drinking and DRIVING is bad enough. Drinking and suping?”

“OH MY GOD!” Max cried out to the sky, exasperated. “Let’s just go to Hiddenville! That’s where my friends will be, anyway.”

“Well… Why were you considering Metroburg, then?”

“Because that’s where the supes are and where I was born.”

“Well, do you want to go ahead and go there instead?” He was starting to see why her friends might want to ditch her on a party night. She was very preoccupied with making the right decision, when sometimes, all it took was just making ANY decision.

“Let’s go to Hiddenville,” he said, putting his foot down. She held up a finger and pulled out her party gumball dispenser. Was she supposed to have it? No. Did she deserve it, therefore take it? Well, she’d just pulled it out, so what does that tell you? She blew a bubble and transformed into a Black party dress, high heeled boots and a sparkly headband with the new year at the top of it. Even her flawless makeup had been designed into the gumball and she looked like… she was meant to be on his arm tonight. He was far more casual - in all black with a shirt, an overshirt, his jacket and a tight pair of pants with heavy boots. But… they matched… WELL! She held her hands out, a little bit self conscious and said, “This is fine for your party, right? I can’t tell if I’m overdressed or you just don’t give a shit, either way because any and everything looks good on you…” Her eyes widened at this unconscious admission.

“We look awesome,” he said, and pointed two fingers at the door to open it and used his other hand to make sure he was powering things down in the house.

#Share a Lair #henry danger #the thundermans #crossover #crossover fanfic #Nesha Crossover #Thundanger #Thunderbolt

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anagentinwriting · 5 years

Text

Subscribe - Part 5

Summary: (Modern AU) Peter was your college sweetheart until a certain event led to your break up. Seven years later another event brings you two back together, but this time a little girl is in the picture. Will listening to your podcasts be the reason you two get back together or be another reason to keep you apart?

Pairing: Peter Quill x Reader

Word Count: 3833

Warnings: Language, heights, fluff, angst

Subscribe Masterlist / Main Masterlist

AN: Don’t want this to get confusing, but the podcast is in italics and the flashback is indented and in italics. I am hoping the indention works on all platforms. Fingers crossed!

_______

Peter sat in the pickup zone waiting for Meredith to get out of school. Its been seven days since your accident, and you still haven’t woken up. It was making him anxious, and he started thinking about the worst what if situations. What if you didn’t wake up? What if Meredith lost her mother? What if you did wake up, but you didn’t want him around Meredith anymore? It was hard not to think about every worst-case scenario with each passing day. Peter’s thoughts were interrupted when Mer opened the back door and crawled inside.

“Hey, Twig. How was your spelling test?”

“Daddy, you won’t believe it!” She handed him the test in her hand. “I got 100%.”

“That’s my girl,” he grinned, giving her a high five. “This calls for a celebratory toy, what do you say?”

“Yeaaahhh,” she yelled, pumping her fist in the air.

Peter and Mer went to the toy shop near Walkman Records. It had all kinds of vintage toys as well as the new hottest toys. After much deliberation, Mer picked out an action figure made of rocks. Peter told her to call him Korg, and she was sold on the name and decided to get him. She hugged Korg to her chest as they check out and went back to the studio.

After dropping Mer off at Gamora’s, he didn’t feel like going home just yet. He didn’t want to go back to his empty, quiet apartment. He used to love the peace and quiet, but now it didn’t feel like home without Meredith. He drove around aimlessly before pulling into a local grocery store parking lot. He turned on his Bluetooth and clicked on Everyday's a Monday episode #29. He turned up the volume as he reclined his seat, staring at the roof of his jeep.

“Happy Valentine’s Day or to some Happy Singles Awareness Day! Yay! Today we have Steve Rogers in the studio. He’s a stay at home dad here to talk about his family life and how he manages it all. We will also hear about his Valentine’s Day plans and may hear a thing or two about the mysterious Star-lord if we’re lucky. Q the tunes.”

Peter clicked pause. “Wait, Steve Rogers? Steve Rogers as in Bucky’s best buddy? Did Bucky know about YN? Did he know YN had a child?” He shook his head, pressing play.

“Thank you for joining us today, Steve. How have you been doing?”

“I’ve been good. How are your twins?”

“Trouble makers if I’m being honest.” They both laughed.

“You have a son and daughter correct?”

“Yes. Grant is eight years old, and he wants his way all the time. But, Jamie, our 4 years old, is a complete sweetheart. Peggy says Jamie is like me while Grant is like her.”

“Isn’t that the truth.”

“It is. I feel like children always take after one of their parent's personalities.”

“I couldn’t agree more. Let's talk fatherhood, many fathers would rather work than stay at home all day, but how do you like it?” Wanda inquired.

“I love it. I never found a job that suited me as well as being a stay at home dad has. I ain't ashamed to admit that Peggy is the real breadwinner in our household. She’s a brilliant successful CEO of a mega-corporation, and I couldn’t be more proud of her.”

“Way to speak the truth, Steve. Not many men would ever say that so kudos to you,” Wanda praised. “What is your typical day like?”

“I wake up to work out at around 5 am, which helps me get ready for the day. By the time I get back home and freshen up, Peggy is up and helping the kids get ready. Jamie goes to morning preschool but likes to watch her big brother go to the big kid school as she calls it. She's excited to start kindergarten and go to the big kid school next year because she says all the kids at preschool are babies.”

"OMG, that’s adorable,” Wanda cooed.

“Peggy goes to work around 730 am, and I run the kids to school. I tend to run errands at this point or run home to clean up the house a bit if it’s needed. Around eleven, I pick up Jamie from preschool, and we go do a fun community event if there is one going on. If not, we hang out at home together. It must be where she leans towards my personality,” he chuckled. “Once 3 pm comes around, we pick up Grant from the big kid school. I help him with his homework and then get dinner ready for when Peggy gets home. She makes sure she gets time with the kids before bedtime, and once they're in bed, we spend time together.”

“What do you and Peggy do to get away from the kids?”

“We have a sitter who watches them a few times a week so we can go out and have ‘adult time’ as the parents like to call it. We go out to dinner, see a movie, or meet up with some friends.”

“Sounds like a great system because finding time to spend together is the toughest part,” Wanda added. “We decided to test out something new this week, which involved asking our listeners to give us questions to ask our upcoming guest, and you all didn’t disappoint. YN and I were able to narrow down the questions, and we're excited to hear the answers.”

“Hi everyone, it feels weird joining this early,” you commented. “Our first question comes from Mary Parker, who asks, how do you deal with your children’s bullies?”

“I don’t like bullies, and I’m the worst person to take bully advice from. When I was younger, I was the small sickly kid in class who got made fun of a lot. I always stood up for myself, which led to me getting the crap kicked out of me, but my best friend was always there to save my butt. Now, I get made fun of for being a stay at home dad. People accuse me of not being a real man, and I hate it. I love watching my kids grow up a little more each day and spending all day with them. It’s a rewarding experience.”

“You’re a real man, Steve Rogers. Not many men would admit they enjoy staying home and spending time with your kids,” Wanda applauded, and YN cheered along. "I, too, got bullied as a kid. When I first started school in America, I had his thick Sokovian accent, and I got made fun of for it. Both my brother and I did, but my brother was better at ignoring it than me. I wanted to blend in and be like everyone else, so I started talking without it, and eventually, my accent went away. Now it only comes out when I’m angry or frustrated.”

“I can relate to that, too. Not to get personal in my life, but I mean Mer has come home from school crying some days, especially when there's a father-daughter dance happening at school. Kids tell her things like her dad never loved her, doesn't like her, or that he left to get away from her. Shes come home crying more than once, and all I can tell her is to ignore them, but it takes a toll on her. Kids can be the worst.”

Peter paused the episode and reclines his seat back up. He rubbed his hands down his face, scratching at his growing scruff. This was hard to hear because Meredith seemed like such a happy little girl it was hard to imagine her this upset. It wasn’t his fault because he didn’t even know about her, but it still felt like he was to blame. If only he wasn’t the jackass that ruined everything, maybe things could have turned out different. Peter clicked play to resume the episode.

“It does take a toll, but as she gets older she’ll get to the point where their words won’t affect how she views herself or her family,” Steve reassured.

“Are you like an inspirational speaker or something?” You questioned, earning nothing but a breathy laugh from Steve. “I agree with you. Mer’s a tough girl, but it helps she has two great best friends in Wanda’s sons, Tommy and William.”

“I had a great friend growing up, too. He’s still my best friend to this day. You always know you have a real friend when they’ll be there with you till the end of the line.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself. How about we move on to the next question?” Wanda said. “Since YN has stepped out for a moment, this is from Maria Rambeau: As a guy, do you listen to this podcast?”

“Yes, I do,” he chuckled. “It's very educational. I’ve learned a lot, and I encourage more men to listen because they will get a better understanding of what happens to the female body during pregnancy. They also share helpful tips and tricks that could make raising your children a whole lot easier.”

“Perfect answer, Steve. Shout out to the guys listening to this podcast. It’s an educational experience, and your wife, husband, girlfriend, or partner will love you for it. Moving on, this question is from Laura Barton: With it being Valentine's Day, when was the first time you told your wife you loved her? Or who said it first?”

“I said it first, and we were dating for about two months at the time. I know it sounds soon but when you know...you know. I planned the perfect day, but nothing I planned was turning out right. I took her out horseback riding, planning on telling her but then it started raining, so we had to rush back in. Then when we went out to eat at this fancy restaurant, the fire alarm went off. I wanted the day to be over, but then Peggy pointed to the diner across the street. We got there and ordered our food; burger and fries. She was telling me a story, and an idea popped into my head. As she was talking, I used my fries to spell out an I, a heart, and the letter U. She was still talking, but when I turned the plate around she stopped and stared at the plate with a confused look on her face. Then I said, ‘I love you, Pegs.’ She smiled at me and said it right back. The waitress came over and offered us free dessert because they found it adorable. Now we go there every chance we get.”

"Steve is blushing hardcore right now. I think he may be getting even redder after I said that,” Wanda awed. “What an adorable story though my heart is sweating for you and Peggy. Wish I could say the same for YN, but she's rolling her eyes and talking on the phone. It’s like that work call is more important than her job. I mean, doesn’t our employer understand what the red ‘on air’ light means outside this room. Okay, that made no sense once I said it.” Steve let out a soft chuckled. “Oh, YN, listen to this one, it says I should interview you about your man one week. That's a great idea, Karen, but I don’t think she’d let that fly. She would rather hang out behind the glass, but one day, I may convince her. One day. Oh look, she is hanging up the phone and coming back into the room. I have my own question for you, Steve. What do you think of the Star-Lord series?”

"I do enjoy listening to it. From what you have mentioned about him, he did care about you. But, I don’t know the whole story, none of us do. I look forward to finding out more about him, but it's your call on what you share with us. Although, if I may, I do have a question for YN.”

“What is your question?” you asked with sarcasm dripping in your voice.

“I am taking this question for Laura Barton. With it being Valentine's Day, when was the first time you two said you loved each other? Or better yet, who said it first?”

“Thanks, Laura, I appreciate you helping the guests with questions. For all I know, Wanda prompted Steve to ask this.”

“You will never know,” Wanda said in a spooky voice, making Steve chuckle.

“Okay, um...funny story,” you laughed. “We went to the local winter carnival, which seems super cliche, but that’s how it happened. I mean, did you hear Steve’s story, super cheesy. No offense,” you paused, taking a deep breath. “We were dating for about six months…

“Come on, let's go on the ferris wheel,” you begged. “Then we’ll be able to see everything.”

“Do we have too?”

“What are you scared of heights?” You teased him, turning to him with a pouty lip.

“Sweetheart, I ain't scared of anything,” he smirked, pulling you into his arms.

“We both know that’s a lie.” You patted his chest. “Come on.” You grabbed his gloved hand, pulling him towards the ferris wheel to stand in line. Once it was their turn, they hopped onto the seat and put the safety bar across them. He grabbed your hand and squeezed it, flashing you his cocky smile. You watched the world below you get smaller as the ferris wheel took you higher and higher until it stopped at the top.

“Wow, this is amazing. I told you we could see everything from up here.” Your eyes scanned the horizon seeing the city and the carnival lights below you.

“Yeah, you’re amazing.” You nudged him in the side as you mouth spread into a warm smile. He seemed a little on edge. More than usual. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times like he wanted to add something, but couldn’t find the right words. He kept glancing at you and then would look away. His brow was sweating, and his leg was bouncing everywhere.

“Why do you look so nervous? Are you feeling okay?” You squeezed his hand, staring at him with furrowed brows. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I'm--I'm fine,” he stuttered, clearing his throat. “All good. Never better." He nodded as rubbed his lips together. "Actually--actually now that you mentioned it,” He gulped, wiping the sweat from his brow.

“What is it? You know you can tell me anything.”

“I know, it's just um I'm--I’m falling in love with you. You don't have to...” You leaned over, planting a kiss on his lips to shut him up.

You pulled away and rested your forehead against his. “I love you, too,” you whispered, bringing a childlike grin to his lips.

He pulled out his flip phone from his pocket. “Smile, sweetheart.” You lean closer into his side, smiling at each other as he snapped the picture. When he turned his phone around to get a better look at it. It slipped out of his gloved hand and fell to the ground.

“Dammit, I had a year contract left on that phone,” he whined, staring down at the ground.

“We'll look for it when we're done,” you chuckled, patting his leg. “Let's hope your case helped it survive the fall.”

“I don’t need it. You’re all I need right now.”

“We did end up finding the phone after looking for a half hour. It didn’t work, but luckily his SD card survived the fall. It saved all his pictures, including the one we took before it slipped from his hand. It’s actually one of my favorites.”

“I’m not surprised he said it first or that he was a nervous wreck to get the words out,” Steve confessed. “We tend to make fools of ourselves for those we really care about.”

“Aww…I have never met him, but he sure knows how to romance a lady. Wish my husband would do something like that,” Wanda sighed. “I’m kidding, Vis is a huge romantic.”

“According to this sheet in front of me,” Steve read. “Frigga says: She loves hearing your stories about Star-lord. It’s one of her favorite things about this podcast.”

“Thanks a lot, Frigga,” Wanda complained, feigning hurt in her voice. “Just kidding, it’s one of my favorite parts, too. YN never says anything about Star-Lord when we hang out together. Every time she shares something, it's my first time hearing it, too.”

“Do you think he ever wonders what you’re doing now?” Steve asked with a curious voice. “Or if he has ever looked you up and saw you have a daughter and wondered if she was his?”

“I don’t know, I guess it never crossed my mind. The last I looked him up, his company got this big break, and he was becoming successful in his career. Besides, he has more important things on his mind than the woman he used to date in college.”

“You might have a point there.”

“Whoa! Things just took a serious turn, but how about we lighten up our Valentine’s Day edition with one more question, even though YN is giving me the stink eye. This one comes from Ramonda: What are some ways your partner shows he/she loves you instead of saying it?"

“Hmmm…that’s a tough one. I don’t think I do anything, but maybe I do it and don’t notice it. Peggy always kisses me goodnight even if we're upset with one another. She never wants us to go to bed angry.”

“I can agree with that. Vis always wants to hold hands like we’re walking down the hall in high school,” Wanda giggled. “He also tries to make meals from Sokovia, but he always adds too much of one spice or adds the wrong spice. It’s like whenever he tries to make an effort to show he cares it makes me love him even more. How about you, YN? What did you and Star-Lord do?”

“We always did do this one thing. We started off saying I love you like every other couple, but then we started doing a motion, and the point got across without saying the words.”

“Of course, you two would have a secret love language. Why wouldn’t you!”

“Shut up, Wanda,” you scoffed. “I never noticed what we were doing until he pointed it out. I would always put my hand over his heart, and he would kiss my forehead. It became our way of saying I love you.”

“Awww...that is too stinkin' cute." Wanda paused. "Anyways, thank you to Pear Organic Pouches for sponsoring this week’s episode. And don’t forget to surprise your lover as one Star-Lord would do.”

“Good god,” you blurted out. “Shit, did I say that out loud.”

“You did,” Wanda giggled. “Thanks to the real man, Steve Rogers, and I hope you all can join us for our next episode on Everyday's a Monday. Don’t forget to subscribe and tell your friends about us. Have a good week!”

“Are….you...fucking….kidding…..me?” Peter hit his steering wheel between words. Why didn’t Steve tell him he went on your podcast two years ago? Why didn’t anyone tell him you had a kid? Did Bucky know about this? Did he know about Meredith before this all happened? Did Nat? Was he the only one that didn’t know the truth? Fed up with the unanswered questions, he drove to Bucky and Nat's house and banged on the door.

“Hey man, it’s late. What are you doing here? ” Bucky questioned, opening the front door and took in his appearance. “Whoa, you alright man?”

“Did you know?” Peter growled, clenching his jaw.

“Know what, man? What the hell are you talking about?”

“Did you know YN had a kid before I found out?” Peter poked him in the chest, glaring at him.

“Dude, why the hell would you think that?” Bucky snapped, narrowing his eyes at Peter.

“I listened to an episode on her podcast. Guess who was on it? Steve. As in Steve Rogers,” Peter shouted, shaking his head when Bucky didn’t answer. “Come on, man. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Bucky bit his lip as he tried to find the right words. “Okay…yes….fine, I knew she had a kid, but I didn’t know she was yours. Steve told me he was going on a podcast and mentioned YN’s name and about her having a kid. Dude, I thought she met a guy right after you, and I didn’t want to be the one to break your heart again because you’re still in love with her.”

“What! Don’t be ridiculous? It’s been--it’s been seven years, those feelings are long gone.”

“BULLSHIT, QUILL,” Bucky piped up, poking him in the shoulder. “You keep telling yourself that because we both know your lying. I bet when you walked into that hospital room and saw her everything you felt for her came rushing back.”

“Shut up, man. You don’t know what you're talking about.”

“Yes, I do. I saw how much that relationship took a toll on you after it ended.” Peter shook his head, staring hard at the ground. “It did, man. It hurt you. You can deny it all you want, but it’s the truth.”

“Shut up, Buck.”

“No, because you need to hear this,” Bucky shouted, forcing Peter's head to snap up at his words. “You have missed YN ever since the break-up. Sure, you tried to find what you had with her in other girls but you couldn’t. YN was the one for you, man,” Bucky added. “What I don’t understand is why you didn’t tell her the truth about what happened? I mean," Bucky sighed, shaking his head. "You didn’t--you didn't even chase after her or fight for her, man. You watched her walk away, and you regretted it. Of course, you’re too stubborn to admit it to me or yourself, but when she stepped out of your life you lost the best thing that has ever happened to you”

“You’re wrong.”

“Am I though?” Bucky countered, waiting for a smart ass reply from Peter but got nothing. “Ever since Mer has come into your life, I haven’t seen you this happy since you were dating YN. Ignore me, listen to me, I don’t care anymore, but I’ll see you tomorrow, Quill,” Bucky waved, closing the door between them.

Peter nodded, walking back to his jeep with his hands in his jacket pockets. He reached the driver's side door and stared at his reflection in the window. Peter hated how Bucky was right about everything. He let you slip through his fingers without even trying to explain what happened. He watched you walk away and disappear into a crowd of people heartbroken because of him. He fucked up, and he did it all to himself. It's like every breakup song he has ever heard, person A doesn't know what they have until person B is gone. He missed how happy you made him feel every day he was with you. He just hoped there was still enough time for him to fix all the mistakes he made.

______

AN: This was a fun podcast to write because I thought of taking it so many different ways with Steve before I settled on this one. I knew right away that Steve was going to be a stay at home dad because let's be honest Peggy wouldn't stay home. Haha! We got another glimpse into the reader and Peter’s life together. Any ideas about what might have caused their breakup? What did you all think about Bucky’s bluntness and honesty when Peter showed up at his house? I think you always need that one honest friend in your life that will tell straight up; you fucked up. That's is the kind of relationship I wanted to show Bucky and Peter having, or at least that is what I was going for. Talk about a long ramble!! Comments always welcome and thanks for reading. Have a good day!

#Star-Lord #star-lord x reader #star lord au #peter quill #peter quill au #peter quill x reader #peter quill reader insert #peter quill image #marvel #marvel fanfic #Marvel AU #marvel fanfiction #GotG #guardians of the galaxy vol 2 #Guardians of the Galaxy #chris pratt

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scouthearted · 5 years

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How To See Theatre Cheap!!

What’s the number one complaint I see about theatre from people both into it and who want to get into it but haven’t yet? It’s the price. I get a lot of friends who don’t understand how I can afford to see so much theatre, or who just assume I’m personally rich. Really, being a third year theatre student has just granted me a lot of knowledge about the tips and tricks on how to engage with this art form for cheap... and sometimes even free.

Bootlegs are the obvious choice that I know most people know about as far as cheap and accessible theatre goes. However, even if you wanna say “fuck you” to rich producers, know that bootlegs put the theater itself at risk, and can impose huge fines on them, which can bankrupt smaller theaters... just because they didn’t catch someone filming! Because of this, it’s not the most ethical choice and it’s especially bad if you want more theatre to be accessible. I’m choosing to keep this masterlist bootleg-free for that reason, and while I encourage people to add on their own tips and tricks, I ask that they also follow that rule!

Note for the super broke: tips and tricks that are 100% free are in bold for quick reference! Bolded but starred are those that may be free, or are free with caveats.

SEE THEATRE IN PERSON:

Usher. Contact your local community and small professional theatres and see if they are looking for volunteers. Many times, those that need volunteer ushers allow them to see the show for free! Ushering is easy and a good opportunity to get to know other theatre fans. Keep in mind: there may be a dress code or physical requirement for the job.

Shakespeare in the Park. TONS of cities across the world do this... if you don’t see your city on here, that’s not a dealbreaker either, as my city is going into its 26th year of SitP and still isn’t on the list. It’s a great chance to see Shakespeare performed, an absolutely different experience than reading Shakespeare in high school English.

High school productions. Often, these are a lot better than you might expect, especially if you are near a performing arts high school or just a school with a good theatre department. High schools often do big-name shows, usually for $10 or less per ticket!

College productions. They operate similarly to high schools, but with (usually) a larger budget and better talent pool. They may also be more experimental or obscure in their season selection. I recommend attending shows at schools that have a theatre major, as those productions often are classified as “pre-professional...” think professional theatre with lower prices, often under $15 a ticket.

Hamilton lottery. If you live in or relatively near NYC, London, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, or San Francisco, you can and should enter the lottery to win two $10 tickets. You can enter every single day, and I’ve personally known people who have won, so the chances may not be as small as you think!

Pay What You Want Theatre Nights*. Often, community and smaller professional theaters will have nights where you can contribute as much or as little as you choose (some theatres have lower limits, but not all). These nights are often ones that aren’t as popular for audiences, such as Wednesday or Thursday, but they’re a great way to see things cheap.

Improv class graduation performances. Improv classes are becoming a huge thing among people who want to socialize without drinking. Often, these classes will conclude with a performance that’s open to the public and super cheap (my local improv school has $6 shows). Check local improv theatres or acting schools for more details.

Local festivals. Some local festivals are home to children’s performances (such as are orchestrated by Missoula Children’s Theatre), local improv, free musicals, etcetera. They’re a great place to scope out a little bit of the scene.

Discounts! If you’re a student, a senior, active military, or a veteran, you are almost guaranteed to get a discount. Other discounts may be available... see the next point.

Call and ask! If you can’t find any ways to see cheap theatre on your local theater’s marketing or website, don’t be afraid to call and ask for deals, promotions, or opportunities not listed. Theatre professionals want butts in the seats, and we want people to be engaging in this art form! We’ll do our best to help.

Playwrights Welcome*. On the off-chance you’re a member of the Dramatists Guild, you can see shows at certain theaters for free. A full list of the participating theaters is at the link, as well as further details on the program. You do have to pay Dramatists Guild dues, so not very free... but if you’re already a member, take advantage of this!

LEGAL RECORDINGS

Movie musicals. Yes, I know, we hate them, but they’re readily available and easy to get for cheap on DVD, or streaming online legally. Check out The Phantom of the Opera, Hairspray, Into the Woods, West Side Story, Sweeney Todd, Les Miserables, and many more. Many are available on Netflix!

BroadwayHD. This streaming site is exclusively for high quality professional theatre. If you have $8.99 a month, you can watch SO MUCH theatre. They also do individual rentals, but it’s more expensive to do an individual rental than to just pay for the month. The selection used to be small, but is growing quickly, and showing your support might convince other productions to put legal recordings up!

National Theatre Live. Performances from an absolutely fantastic theatre, broadcast to movie theaters around the world. Tickets run a little more than a movie ticket, but less than a live theatre performance, and they’re INCREDIBLE.

DVD and Blu-ray selections. Often, shows are in fact recorded and available for purchase, usually older or closed shows. While the article is a little bit old, the linked article makes some suggestions, but more can be found with a little bit of looking (or check out this wikipedia article).

PBS Great Performances. Opera, musicals, concerts, plays, dance, and more... the complete theatrical experience, for free on PBS. You can watch some of them free no-strings-attached online, too, but others require a subscription service.

Starkid. This theatre company does parody and original comedic musicals (with surprising depth!), and they’re posted on Youtube for free. There’s a ton to choose from, and they’re a really good time and a great gateway if you’re intimidated by the PBS stuff.

AUDIO RECORDINGS

LA Theatre Works. Performing plays in the style of radio plays, you can stream some very good stuff if you’re interested in just listening. It’s a lot like a podcast! I also recommend poking around on their website to find more shows than on this page (and if you ever get a chance and have a little more money than this, they tour and you can see them live. It’s really cool!).

Off Book: The Improvised Musical. Think Starkid, but audio only, smaller casts, and also, completely improvised. Every week, the podcast weaves a brand new improvised musical, along with a guest or two (including people like Travis McElroy and Felicia Day).

Audio plays* (like what LA Theatre Works are doing) are a little tricky to find sometimes, but a little research can get you a long way. Here’s some that I found just in trying to dig more up, including Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead and the famous production of War of the Worlds. Audible is known to have a growing selection of audio plays, if you’re okay with using and paying for Amazon services.

THEATRE EDUCATION

Podcasts. Continuing on the audio theme, there’s a ton of amazing theatre podcasts that can teach a lot about the business and the art form alike. Here’s a list of twenty podcasts ranging from the explicitly educational to the news-oriented. Note, it’s about five years old.

Theatre classes*. These are often astronomically too expensive for this list, but there is a little trick (though your ethical mileage may vary). Many theatre schools offer a free first class, like a trial offer. This is meant to help the student and teachers alike determine if the class is a good fit, but it’s also a great chance to go and learn something for a couple hours. You may then decide not to pay for further lessons at that theater, or you may decide you like it so much you want to splurge!

Guest workshops and masterclasses. If you don’t want to do the above, or if you have exhausted your local theater options, be aware of guest workshops and masterclass opportunities near you. While proper classes often run in the hundreds of dollars for a six to eight week course, these one-off classes can be as cheap as $10 sometimes, with the majority I’ve seen where I live being around $25 or so (the upper limit I I placed on things that make this list). You may be surprised at who is leading your class, too (plenty of Broadway actors run classes), and if you want to pursue theatre as a career, a masterclass or workshop looks nice on a resume.

Playing Shakespeare. The entire series can be found on Youtube, and it’s a series one of my professors personally recommended for those who want to learn how to do Shakespearean roles better.

Youtube in general. Honestly, just looking up “theatre masterclass” brings up a ton of credible and amazing stuff.

Volunteer. Learning by experiencing is truly something you can do, and there’s plenty of community theatres that would die for a good volunteer. Even if you don’t want to be on stage, there’s plenty of technical positions that cater to any and all skill sets.

#please boost this I worked for three hours I'm dying #theatre #theater #masterlist

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purplesurveys · 5 years

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483

Is there a bus stop near your house?: No, buses don’t stop around my area and I only ever see them on EDSA, which is like the main highway of Metro Manila.

Do you prefer red wine or white wine?: I hate the shit out of wine but if I absolutely had to drink some, it has to be red. And it has to be more sweet than bitter.

What’s the last airport you were at? Why were you there?: NAIA. I’m literally at the Starbucks right across the airport right now because my mom is arriving from Hong Kong in an hour and I have to pick her up.

Who do you live with?: I live with my family. That’s a mom, a dad, a brother, a sister, a cat, and a dog.

Do you read reddit? If so, how often and what subreddits do you like?: Yessssss all the time. I always browse through the Popular filter since it already compiles the best recent posts, but I’m a huge fan of the r/AmITheAsshole subreddit. People who turn out to be the assholes are hilaaaaarious.

Have you recently broken up with a significant other or even just a friend?: No. I ‘broke up’ with Aya as a friend when she was being abusive to Jo, but she’s since started working on getting better and has apologized to our friend group, so she’s back on my good side.

What’s the weather like today? Is it nice enough to go outside?: It’s 29ºC. I’m glad we’re not in the 30s, but I don’t appreciate how warm it still is.

Do you know anyone who’s had a baby recently?: As far as I know, no.

Have you used a pen or pencil today? What did you write down?: [continued from earlier because I had to pick my mom up lmao] Yes, I used a pen today. It was to write my name on a requirement that I needed to submit to complete my class.

What does your last text message say and who is it from?: "Can I call?” from my girlfriend.

Can you count how many times you’ve seen your favourite film?: Must be near a hundred. I talked about this in a recent survey but there was a time I watched Two for the Road everyday for like 2-3 months. I still make it a point to watch it several times a year.

When was the last time you ate marshmallows?: I have no idea. I don’t like marshmallows; I’ve always hated the texture.

Do you listen to any podcasts? How do you listen to them?: Uhhh no, not really. If I REALLY REALLY like the guest, I’ll sometimes listen to Colt Cabana’s Art of Wrestling or Chris Jericho’s Talk is Jericho. But other than that, I’d rather watch YouTube videos.

How old will you be in the year 2030?: 32.

How often does the kettle in your house get used?: My mom never got one.

Does your skin bruise easily? Do you have any bruises right now? What from?: Yep, super. I don’t have a bruise right now but I do have a mysterious cut below my right knee. Have absolutely no idea where it came from, but apparently whatever cut it cut it deep and it hurts.

What was the last thing you spent $150 or more on?: I’ve never spent that amount of money on anything.

Do you prefer yes or no questions or more open-ended questions?: Open-ended. If I sense that a survey is becoming too yes-or-no I usually quit it halfway; it’s too boring.

What brand of toilet paper do you usually buy?: My mom buys the toiletries so I’m not aware of what brands she gets.

If I knocked on your door right now, would you be acceptable dressed?: Yes. I just got home and haven’t changed out of my jumpsuit.

Why did you leave your last job?: Never had one.

What colour were the last socks you wore?: It’s like a faded green.

Are you studying currently? What level of education and what do you study?: Yep! I’m an incoming senior in my BA in Journalism.

Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying?: No, that’s terrible.

What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?: Probably something from Buzzfeed Unsolved cause I’ve been rewatching it lately.

What’s your favourite scent of air freshener?: Meh, I prefer the natural car smell. Scents make me dizzy.

How many weddings have you ever been to?: Four, I think. All of those when I was a kid; I haven’t been to a wedding since 2007.

Do you know anyone named Nora?: I don’t think so.

Are your hands and feet in good condition or could you do with a mani-pedi? My fingernails can be trimmed, but it’s not like a mess or anything. When was the last time you played a board game? What did you play?: We played a math version of Scrabble when we stayed over at Laurice’s house. I’ve never seen a game like it before lmfaaaaao it was so intense.

Have you ever been to a festival for beer or other type of alcohol?: Nope. I don’t think that would be my kind of scene, either.

Do you own a record player and/or vinyls?: I don’t have a record player so I don’t have vinyls.

When was the last time you went out for drinks?: Third week of May. Have you ever been to a strip club?: NO I really want to go to one though.

What’s your favourite kind of smoothie?: I don’t take smoothies.

Do you know anyone with a ‘virtue name’? (Google it): Hmm I don’t think so, but I know someone who wants to name their kid Prudence.

Would you ever wear real authentic leather?: Never.

Have you taken out the trash today?: Nope, I don’t do that around the house. How often do you wear make-up?: Very seldom. I had my face made up several times over the last few months because Kate sometimes gets bored and she’d want to give me a makeover, but other than that, I rarely get my face done for events.

What’s your opinion on The Simpsons?: I have a very soft spot for that episode where Homer sits on the hood of his car and looks at the stars after he separated from his mom. I don’t keep track of the rest of the show.

Do you prefer horizontal or vertical stripes?: Horizontal. I don’t think I’ve ever worn vertical ones before.

What’s your favourite brand of deodorant/antiperspirant?: I don’t have a favorite.

Do you know anyone who has been through a divorce?: No. We don’t have divorce in the Philippines. So it’s not because all the couples I know are staying strong – it’s literally because no one is allowed to divorce by law.

If you had the money, would you take taxis everywhere instead of driving?: No, taxi drivers can be creepy. I’d rather drive by myself.

Have you ever done a juice cleanse?: Nope. I don’t need it.

Do you have any friends who you can’t decide if they’re attractive or not?: HAHAHAHAHA WTF, that’s so messed up and such a shitty thing to do. Is the inside of your fridge clean right now or does it need a clean out?: It’s always clean. My mom doesn’t let any spot in the house go messy for long.

When was the last time you washed the dishes?: This morning before I left the house.

Are there any magazines that you read on a regular basis?: Nope, I haven’t read one in months.

Do you have to pay for parking in most places in the town/city you live in?: No, not in Antipolo. That’s why I love it here. Once I get to the city though we do have to pay for everything, yes.

What’s the first thing you tend to do when you have a headache?: Take a Biogesic. Takes it out immediately.

Tell me about your responsibilities at work.: I don’t have a legit job yet, but at my latest internship I did news monitoring, press releases, research, and made briefing forms for the media.

Can you hear lots of traffic from your house? Does it bother you?: No. I live in a gated subdivision so it is very quiet here. Have you ever had proper Canadian poutine with the squeaky cheese?: I have never tried poutine, what a damn shame. I wish I can encounter a restaurant that serves it cause it looks SO GOOD. Canadian cuisine is not very prominent here though so idk when I can ever get an authentic serving of poutine :(

Do your parents know how to operate smartphones and/or computers?: My dad is very techy, more so than me. My mom uses her phone for her Facebook and camera and nothing else. She still asks me to Google stuff for her even if her Chrome app is right beside Facebook.

How old are your parents, anyway?: My mom and dad are both 1971 babies so they are turning 48 this year.

Are you allergic to anything? What do you have to do to prevent them?: No. My skin can get very allergic to the environment (especially if it’s humid), but it’s not an allergy or anything.

What song is stuck in your head at the moment?: I haven’t been thinking of a song.

Do you hate it when people try really hard, or do you kinda like it?: Idk how to feel about them...like sometimes I’d think it’s hilarious but other times I’d feel sorry and just cringe. But I’m certain I don’t hate it.

What’s your boss’ first name? Do you call him/her by that name?: My boss at internship is named Dessa. I call her that but I address her with Ms. before her name too so that it’s respectful.

When was the last time you wore a uniform of any kind? What colour was it? I wore my old school uniform last year for funsies because I spotted it in our storage closet and felt a little nostalgic. No reason to wear it, just wanted to mess around. The blouse ws white, the necktie and skirt are plaid.

Do you complete a survey before taking this one? Will you take one after?: No. After this, I’m torn among a) getting a midnight snack, b) taking another survey, and c) watching RuPaul’s Drag Race since I started getting into it last night, hahaha. Have you ever lost enough weight to drop a dress size?: I probably have, except I wasn’t actively trying to achieve that.

What’s your favourite kind of bread?: White and brioche.

When was the last time you got pizza? What toppings did you get?: Last Thursday. We got a cheese pizza and a barbecue chicken pizza.

Do you own Monopoly? Is it the original or a special version?: We don’t. I don’t know how to play Monopoly haha it always seemed just so boring to me.

What was the last thing you said out loud?: "Whatcha doing?”

You have to choose one: cats or dogs?: Dogs.

Would someone being either a cat or dog person affect you dating them?: It probably would. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who wants to own a cat with me. I love cats but I would never want them as a pet.

How do you travel to and from work?: I drive myself always. I don’t work yet, though.

Do you primarily use cash or card for your purchases? Why?: Cash, because I don’t have a card.

Have you ever been to a stadium concert?: I’ve been to arena concerts, if they mean the same thing lmao.

#survey #surveys

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theycallmebeccawrites · 5 years

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Adventures in Parenting - Chris & Nikki Q&A

With Tumblr holding my original writing blog @beccaheartschrisevans captive (aka flagged as explicit), I have made a secondary writing blog and may end up closing the other all together. In the meantime, I am reposting all of my stories on my new blog.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Nikki Evans (OFC) Rating: PG-13 Warnings: language? Summary: A “podcast transcript” of a Q&A with Chris & Nikki set in February 2021.

Adventures in Parenting (Chris & Nikki) Masterlist

Chris & Nikki Q&A (February 2021)

Please note this is written as if it were a blog post with a podcast transcript.

February 17, 2021

Hello my fellow mommies and daddies! I have an extra special treat for you all today! My best friend/sister-in-law, Nikki, and her husband, Chris, have agreed to take part in an extra special podcast right here on my parenting blog!

So what is so special about my fabulous sister- and brother-in-law? Well she is a hot momma of three of the cutest kids on planet earth (joined by my little ones, of course) and he is Captain America…. Or rather, he played Captain America in the Marvel Cinematic Universe for 8 years.

I have been trying to get Nikki to take part in a podcast since I started doing them last year and I finally convinced her to sit down with me this past weekend. Originally it was just going to be the two of us, but then our husbands caught wind of it and decided they wanted to take part as well.

So here is the link to the podcast as well as a link to the transcript in case you can’t download the podcast for whatever reason.

Love Always,

Dana

–Transcript–

Dana: Hello to all my returning listeners and to all my new listeners. Even those of you who are only listening to this podcast because of Chris Evans…

Chris: It’s their loss if they are. You’re awesome and you’re one of the best moms I’ve ever been around.

Mikey: Suck up. [Coughs]

Dana: Thank you Chris. You’re my favorite brother-in-law.

Nikki: [Laughing] Not even a minute into this podcast and we’re already off topic.

Dana: You’re right, Nikki. I meant to start this with introductions. So I will start with myself for those that aren’t familiar with my voice. I am Dana and this is my blog/podcast. Mikey is my husband, we’ve been married for nearly ten years. Say hi, Mikey.

Mikey: Hi Mikey [He and Chris snicker]

Dana: You two are predictable. Moving on… next we have my best friend and partner in crime, Nikki. Who also happens to be Mikey’s step-sister. Say hello to the beautiful listeners Nikki.

Nikki: Hello everyone!

Dana: Last, but certainly not least, I present Nikki’s husband, Chris Evans. Chris say hello.

Chris: [Chuckling] I’m not used to being introduced as Nikki’s husband, I like it…

Nikki: I do too. [Smooching sound]

Mikey: Really? Already with the kissing… you two are gross.

Dana: And this is why this was just supposed to be a podcast with me and Nikki only. I’m going to have so much stuff to edit out.

Nikki: [Laughing] Sorry… I just can’t help myself sometimes. He is just so darn cute!

Chris: Hot… so darn hot!

Dana: Anyway….. Thank you Chris and Nikki for agreeing to take part of this podcast. Mikey and I know how hard you two work to keep your relationship and, especially, your kids, out of the public eye.

Nikki: We love you and we trust you. We know you won’t publish anything too revealing about us and the kids.

Chris: That and we know where you live and we actually have a key to your house and the code to the alarm system… there really isn’t any place you can hide from us…

Mikey: Geez Evans, don’t make me embarrass you by beating you up again. My muscles are just as big as yours.

Chris: Only because I haven’t been busting my as- [clears throat] -er, I mean, only because I haven’t been training as hard as I did when I was playing Cap every six months.

Dana: I told you we should have locked them in the man cave before we started this.

Nikki: [Snickers] Maybe we should just move onto the questions you prepared for us before they start comparing the size of other things…

Chris & Mikey: Nikki!

Dana: Alright, this first question is about how the two of you met. Now, I know Mikey and I already know the answer to this, but our listeners don’t.

Nikki: We met in August 1997, right after my mom and Mikey’s dad got married. I was 12 at the time and Chris was 16.

Chris: Mikey and I have been best friends since we were like 5 years old and we grew up across the street from each other. Our parents actually still live in those same houses. Which makes it very convenient for holidays and such.

Dana: Nikki, you and I have spent a lot of time talking about this. Hell, I’ve known you since before Chris and even Mikey, since we were both the “new girl” at school in 1996. But I’ve never heard Chris’s thoughts about your first meeting.

Chris: Honestly? I didn’t have any. Like Nikki said, she was 12 and I was 16. She was just my best friend’s new kid sister.

Nikki: While I, on the other hand, thought he was the cutest guy I’d ever seen. And I suppose I should mention that I was a month shy of turning 13 when we met.

Dana: So it wasn’t really love at first sight for you guys then.

Mikey: Well Nikki thought she was in love for a while. I found a couple notebooks that had ‘Mrs. Chris Evans’ written in a heart…

Nikki: Chris was the first guy I ever had a crush on, so yeah, I thought I was in love with him. Then he graduated high school and I started liking and, eventually, dating other guys.

Dana: Which leads me directly to how you two got together. And I will start this by informing the listeners that you guys we reintroduced at mine and Mikey’s wedding nearly ten years ago. Nikki was my maid of honor and Chris was Mikey’s best man. So what was it about the other that caught your attention?

Chris: Well, naturally, the first thing I noticed about her was her beauty, especially her smile.

Nikki: And then you realized who I was and you went from flirt mode to protect the bro code mode.

Mikey: Not that he protected it for very long….

Chris: Says the one who married his sister’s best friend….

Dana: Guys… don’t make me put you in time out…

Chris & Mikey: Yes mom

Nikki: [Chuckling] As soon as Chris had a couple beers in him at the rehearsal dinner and found out that Dana and I were best friends, the bro code got tossed out the window

Chris: You’re making me sound like a pig, Nik… I also threw out the code because I saw you interacting with your younger half-sisters and then my family, especially my nephews and something just clicked in my head. I knew you were the one when my nephew put a chocolate hand print on that pink sundress you were wearing and instead of freaking out like girls I had dated in the past, you just laughed it off and gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Nikki: Oh, Chris! [Sniffles] You’ve never told me that before. I didn’t even know you’d witnessed that. Much less knew that night that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me.

Chris: I’ve meant to tell you for a while now, but I guess I never did. Especially, since I had to spend six weeks convincing you that I really wanted to be in a relationship with you.

Mikey: I remember those six weeks. Here I was a newlywed, expecting to get extra loving from my new wife only to find myself in bed alone while Dana was on the phone with Nikki for hours and hours.

Nikki: It was a lot to take in. Chris and I hadn’t seen each other for 13 years and he was a few weeks away from the release of the first Captain America. Plus I was attracted to him, but I wasn’t sure if what I was feeling for him was real and adult or just left over from my youth.

Chris: And she waited until I was in the middle of the promo tour to agree to a date with me. Then after the promo tour and premier was over for the movie, I had to report back to filming for Avengers. So we didn’t have our first date until the middle of August.

Dana: Tell us about your first date.

Nikki: I bought a great dress for it and he got to my apartment and told me to go change into pants because I couldn’t do what we were going to do in a dress.

Chris: I told you to change after I told you how gorgeous you looked and that I would happily change the plans I had made for us.

Nikki: That’s right, you did. But you’d been telling me for weeks over text messages and the phone that you’d planned a great first date for us and I didn’t want you to change anything.

Mikey: You guys went mini golfing right?

Chris: Yeah, I took her out for dinner and then we went mini golfing. She totally beat me.

Nikki: I still don’t believe I beat you without you throwing the game. You love golfing, I don’t. I’m good at sports that don’t require me to hold on to something.

Chris: I didn’t let you win. I was just distracted by your beauty and wishing I had kissed you the minute you’d opened your front door.

Nikki: [Laughing] You are so full of bs.

Mikey: [Groans] Again with the kissing?! Dana ask them another question!

Dana: So Chris said he knew the night you guys were reintroduced that you were the one he wanted to marry. When did you know you wanted to marry Chris, Nikki?

Nikki: I knew by my birthday, which was about a month after our first date. He was in Ohio for most of that time because of filming, but we spent just about every free moment we had talking on the phone or texting.

Chris: I wooed her.

Nikki: You did.

Dana: How long was it before you guys started talking about getting married? I mean, it couldn’t have been long because Chris proposed on New Year’s Eve.

Chris: I think our first conversation about marriage and kids happened when she came to visit me while I was filming in Ohio, which was in like mid to late September.

Nikki: It was just after the Patriot’s game ended. I was due to leave the next morning and I think we stayed up most of the night just talking about where we saw ourselves in ten years.

Chris: And look where we are now. It’s been nearly ten years and everything we dreamed about has come true. We have three amazing kids, two great dogs and a terrible cat.

Nikki: [Laughing] Oh don’t even say that. You love Sadie as much as the rest of us do.

Dana: So where do you guys see yourselves in ten years?

Mikey: Wait! You teased about the proposal, shouldn’t you ask them about that first before moving on to the future?

Dana: Oh, right. Quick recap of the proposal and wedding?

Chris: [Chuckling] Like you said, I proposed to her on New Year’s Eve in 2011. My mom was hosting a party at her house and, like always, Nikki and Mikey’s parents offered her use of their fridge for extra food. So my mom, who was totally in on the whole plan, sent Nikki and I across the street to get more food and I proposed to Nikki in the kitchen where we met back in 1997.

Dana: [Squeals] I know I knew about it ahead of time and I’ve known the story for ten years, but I just get excited whenever I hear one of you guys tell that story! Just gives me all the feels!

Mikey: The feels? Seriously? Are people still saying that? Wasn’t that like soooo five years ago?

Nikki: It gives me the feels too. Especially when you add the fact that we got married nearly 15 years to the day that we first met.

Dana: If only that venue had been available on the August 1st instead of August 4th.

Chris: I think it all worked out perfectly in the end, just the way we wanted it to.

Nikki: It really was perfect. We got married at this fully restored, 100 year old barn about thirty minutes from Sudbury. It was a gorgeous venue.

Chris: And a gorgeous bride.

Nikki: Don’t forget the hot groom who was rocking a sexy suit.

Chris: You know me, I won’t wear a suit that isn’t sexy.

Mikey: Ugh seriously! [Groans] Dana ask them the 10 year question so they stop making out over there

Dana: [Laughing] Alright, for real this time. Where do you two see yourselves in ten years. Both career and family wise.

Chris: Family wise, I think we’re both open to having more kids.

Nikki: I’d love more kids. Whether it be through us having more biological children or adopting from within the United States or even internationally.

Mikey: You’re almost 40, Chris [Grunts in pain] Hey! What was that for!

Chris: For reminding me I’m almost 40, but please continue…

Mikey: Promise not to hit me again?

Chris: You have thirty seconds to spit out whatever you were going to say.

Mikey: [Talks fast] How late into your 40s do you plan on having kids? Because Rachie is almost 4 and you’re going to be 54 when she graduates high school.

Chris: I haven’t really thought about it too much, if I’m being totally honest. I suppose I should though…

Nikki: I think that is totally ok, it’s not like we can change anything after the fact. Some people meet their significant other young and have kids young. We didn’t and that is totally ok, too. So we’ll be old when our youngest babies graduate high school… that’s perfectly fine with me as long as you’re by my side.

Mikey: [Groans] And they’re kissing again, honestly you two!

Dana: What about career wise? You just did your first animated film with Disney, didn’t you Chris?

Chris: I’m not technically allowed to talk about it just yet… but yes, I’m lending my voice to an animated character and it’s not what people would expect from me. But other than that, I’ve enjoyed taking some time off with Nikki and the kids, but I’ve also enjoyed doing some theater and getting behind the camera some more too.

Dana: I suppose we should move onto the parenting questions since this is a parenting blog. However, because we’ve already used up more than two-thirds of our podcast time, we’ll have to be quick with these questions so we can play ‘Who is’

Nikki: Sounds good to me.

Dana: Alright, since we are short on time, I will just inform the listeners that you two have three kids, a 7 year old, a 5 year old and a 3 year old. Do they have set bedtimes?

Chris: We try to keep them on the same schedule as much as possible, but life happens and sometimes you have to roll with the punches.

Nikki: On the weeks we do manage to have all the kids in bed by 8 and asleep by 8:30, we have a family movie night on Friday and we let the kids stay up an extra half hour.

Dana: What a perfect transition to my next question! We grew up without a lot of the technology that is a part of our everyday lives now. There are hundreds of studies about kids and their addictions to phones, iPads, computers and other things even as young as 2 or 3. How are you guys dealing with that?

Chris: Nikki and I both realized how attached we were to our phones when Josh was born and we kind of took a step back from things. Especially when he wanted to hold said phones. But we have set rules in place to help limit their use of technology.

Nikki: We have lots of timers and electronics that turn themselves off and remain off for certain amounts of time. We’ve had to adjust some of Josh’s computer time to allow for the homework assignments that require him to be on the computer, though.

Chris: Nikki and I are both outdoorsy people

Mikey: [Snorts with laughter]

Chris: Ok… so I’m an outdoorsy person and Nikki tolerates it as long as I don’t make her sleep in a tent without an air mattress, go more than two days without showering or using a flushing toilet, and or make her touch a fish.

[All four laughing]

Chris: But like I was saying, our kids love being outdoors as well. The boys love splashing around in the rain and mud in the spring and fall as much as they door running through the sprinkler in the summer. And they love playing outside in the snow.

Nikki: Like father, like sons.

Chris: Exactly. So yes, we try to limit the amount of time they spend using technology, but we understand that it is a part of their future, we just want them to find a happy medium.

MIkey: So we’re all in agreement that our kids and your kids aren’t getting cell phones until they’re teenagers.

Chris: I was thinking more like sixteen. If they prove that they’re responsible enough for one.

Nikki: We really are ancient aren’t we? I’m pretty sure mom and dad got the twins cellphones for their 10th birthday.

Dana: I don’t want to think about how old we are. [Whines] Let’s play ‘Who Is’ instead!

Dana: So I’ll ask a question and you guys either answer with your own name or the other’s name.

Mikey: Am I playing?

Dana: No, just Nik and Chris.

Mikey: I’ll go get another drink then. Chris you want one?

Chris: Sounds good.

Dana: Alright, first question. Who is the cuddle bug?

Nikki: Depends on the situation, we both can be cuddly

Chris: But it’s usually her

Dana: Who is more affectionate?

Chris: This is another ‘depends on the situation’ question

Nikki: What he said

Dana: Who is more protective?

Nikki: Chris

Chris: I don’t know about that one babe, I’ve seen you go momma bear on some people…

Dana: Who reaches for the other’s hand first

Nikki: Depends on the situation. But I like holding his hand…

Chris: And I like holding hers.

Dana: You two are totally cheating in this game, by the way. Though, I’m pretty sure we all know the answer to this next tone. Who gives the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other.

Chris: Nikki

Nikki: [Laughing] Definitely me

Dana: Called it! Alright, how about this one who sneaks into the shower with the other in the morning?

Mikey: [Groans] I don’t want to hear this answer… I came back at the wrong time…

Nikki: [Laughing] I’m up with the sun and he likes to sleep in, so it’s definitely not him

Chris: You’ve snuck into the shower with me a time or two…

Nikki: That’s cause you’re hot and I can’t help myself.

Dana: Alright, well who initiates sexy times the most

Nikki: I’ve never really thought about it…

Chris: Me either…

Dana: Here’s another one that I’m pretty sure I know the answer to. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear at inappropriate times?

Chris: I won’t even attempt to deny this one… though Nikki has said some pretty dirty things to me on red carpets…

Nikki: Only to help you relax…

Dana: I am very proud of you Nik! Alright who sings in the shower?

Nikki: That would be both of us.

Dana: Who takes the longest to get ready?

Nikki: [Snickering] Do you want to answer this one Chris?

Chris: Shut up. It’s not my fault you wake up so beautiful you don’t need to do much…

Nikki: You’re so full of it! [Laughing] But seriously, I’ve just perfect the mom has five minutes to get herself ready for the day look for my everyday life. But when it comes to getting ready for events, I do take much longer than he does… usually because it includes some sort of spa-like pampering.

Chris: It’s cause you deserve it.

Dana: Aww you guys are too cute! Speaking of events, who drags the other out to the dancer floor?

Nikki: I can usually coax him out there for a dance or two..

Chris: She is my weakness…

Dana: Alright, slight shift here to questions about being pregnant or rather when you were pregnant. Who suggested the most ridiculous names?

Chris: That would be me.

Nikki: And your friends. Chris Hemsworth suggested we name our eldest son Thor.

Dana: [Laughing] I had forgotten about that! Alright, who read the most ‘What to Expect’ books?

Chris: That would probably be me, too.

Nikki: Though it probably should have been me. But there were some nights that Chris would read it aloud to me.

Dana: Awwww!!! Gah, I want another baby…

Mikey: I think we’re done with the baby questions…

Dana: Spoil sport. [Clears throat] Alright, here are some travel themed ones. Who always gets the window seat on the planes?

Chris: Me, Nikki doesn’t like sitting by the window

Dana: Who is in charge of the radio during road trips?

Nikki: The driver

Chris: Unless his co-pilot convinces him to let her pick the music during the drive from Boston to Georgia…

Nikki: Oh hush, you loved the mix I put together and you know it.

Dana: Who over packs?

Nikki: That would be me. I overpack for myself and the kids.

Chris: And then she packs extra stuff for me, too.

Nikki: And I’ve saved his butt a couple times for doing so.

Dana: Who, without fail, accidentally leaves something important at home?

Chris: Guilty. I’m pretty sure we have a drawer full of extra phone chargers cause I always forget mine.

Dana: Who’s the most spontaneous?

Chris: Probably me, but only because Nikki can be a bit slow at making decisions

Nikki: True story.

Dana: Who is more likely to bring home a new pet

Nikki: Well we have a golden retriever named Boston that Chris found at a shelter while filming the second Captain America movie in Washington D.C.

Chris: His name was Boston! I couldn’t just leave him in D.C., it just wasn’t right! Plus, he is like the sweetest dog ever. But don’t tell Max, our other golden retriever, that, because I don’t want him to get jealous.

Nikki: Speaking of Max, he was a surprise present from Santa for our eldest son’s first Christmas

Chris: That was Mikey’s idea, because they had one puppy left from their dog’s liter

Mikey: Oh no, don’t drag me into this.

Dana: On to the next question!! Who kills the bugs?

Chris: As long as they aren’t spiders, I’ve got it.

Nikki: Though, you have started killing spiders for Rachie

Chris: That’s because she looks at me with her big blue eyes and suddenly the spiders aren’t so scary anymore because I need to protect her…

Dana: Be still my heart. [Sighs happily] Last question, who starts getting into the holidays way before they should?

Nikki: Both of us.

Chris: We never host Thanksgiving so we start decorating for Christmas the day after Halloween

Nikki: Bring on the Christmas carols

Chris: We like Christmas. We do Christmas good.

Mikey: And loud… and bright… how many lights did you have on your house last year, neighbor?

Chris: I don’t even know. But it made the kids smile and that’s all that matters.

Dana: Thank you guys so much for joining me for this podcast. It has been so much fun.

Nikki: Thank you for having us. Or rather, thanks for recording us? We do this all the time in real life.

Chris: Best of all, Mikey and I kept our potty mouths clean! That means we get beers!

Mikey: We get all the beer!

Dana: And on that lovely note, we will say goodbye for this podcast. I will be back again next week.

All Four: Night!

Want to find me off tumblr? I’m @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3 and Wattpad.

My tag list is always open, just let me know if you’d like to be added!

#chris evans #theycallmebecca #beccaheartschrisevans #theycallmebeccawrites #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fan fiction #adventures in parenting #chris and nikki #chris evans x ofc #chris evans as a dad #chris evans x original female character

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