#esp if the gay sex is real like where. where did you two do that. was it in the tubchunk. was it laggy
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cant stop thinking about tubbo being like oh you can come back to my place my house we can watch grays anatomy in my room WHAT HOUSE 😭😭😭😭?? WHAT ROOM .
#i doubt he would take fred to the rom. he said he lives in his warehouse did they go back there#im sure fred wouldnt gaf (give a fuck) but like none of tubbos gaf (house) options are . good. to bring a. lover. back home to 😭#esp if the gay sex is real like where. where did you two do that. was it in the tubchunk. was it laggy#mask mews#frubbo
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Aysha is homophobic but more so in the realm of being lesbophobic. Remember that she completely removed all Rosemary interactions from Pesterquest for more Davekat, decided to push for Yiffy the cuckhold child to be forced into the narrative during Lesbian Visibility Day and has made sure to demean any positive Rosemary interactions in lieu of Davekat which she is solely invested in. Her being transphobic more relates to her poor handling of Jade (dog dicked sex fiend isn't good transfem rep)
You do realize you sound fucking insane right???? This is literally what I’m fucking talking about when I mentioned people in my og post about hs2 pointing fingers and giving someone a really harsh label such as LESBOPHOBIC because they didnt quite handle a lesbian couple EXACTLY how you would have.
First of all i want to mention that Aysha is non-binary poc and is married to a woman. This doesnt exempt her from possibly writing some shitty things, but its good to have perspective here. Shes not some cishet white person writing these characters.
So are you going to ignore the literal thousands of pages of the original comic where we had a PLETHORA of Rosemary interactions??? And absolutely no davekat? And if you remember Kanaya was still having hang ups with Vriska, so it only made sense that that was explored a bit in Pesterquest rather than jumping straight to Rose and Kanaya cuddling on a couch and spewing gay poetics at each other. Like I genuinely dont know what you fucking want.
Also i would like to point out that romance wasnt even the fucking focus of Pesterquest. Dave and Karkat’s interactions were barely anything more than characters mentioning them and them being in the same place together for one single ending and mspar implying that they had a feeling they were supposed to be good friends. Tbh it sounds like you and the people who often have this complaint are way more fucking obsessed with what’s going on with Davekat than Aysha or the rest of the team will ever be. Maybe you should redirect your efforts into creating more wlw content for Homestuck since you think the new team is so lesbophobic for portraying two grown ass women having some marital problems (and acting like that cant happen in the real world with real people literally every day).
You and tons of other people fucking love to point to Kanaya and Rose’s issues in hs2 and preach that it’s suddenly lesbophobic that theyre not happy go lucky 24/7. Again, Davekat didnt even fucking happen in the og comic. We had one flash where Dave rests his head on Karkat’s lap and they’re playing hopscotch on a poorly drawn dick on the ground, meanwhile Rose and Kanaya had comfortably been together for Awhile at that point. I just don’t understand how Dave and Karkat finally having a semi-functional and happy relationship in hs2 is promoting lesbophobia. Also we didnt even get to see the comic FINISH!! We dont KNOW what exactly was going to happen with Rose and Kanaya, and we arent going to for a long fucking time because it’s people like you who are perpetuating this narrative of the team and that theyre horrible awful people because they did two fucking things you dont agree with. It’s honestly fucking exhausting. And you know I can throw this right back at you right? Like, pretty homophobic of you to only be focusing on wlw ships and invalidating Davekat, one of the only healthy relationships PERIOD in Homestuck, not just a healthy mlm relationship. Like, pretty shitty of you anon :/ kind of homophobic of you fr.
And this isnt even mentioning the genuinely nice interactions we have seen with Kanaya and Rose in Homestuck 2. Everyone’s really fucking eager to forget that in meat Kanaya was wistfully looking out at the stars missing her wife and told Dave she’d do anything to get her back, esp since it’s implied that Rose was being manipulated pretty heavily by Dirk. But no, according to yall that never happened and Aysha + the rest of the team are just spitting on all wlw folks.
Also again I feel like youre coming to insane conclusions. You think it was a purposeful move that Aysha and the team introduced Yiffy on lesbian visibility day??? Like???? Also pretty lesbophobic of you to invalidate a child born from two women. Like hm pretty shitty of you anon. Rose and Jade explained why they did what they did, and tbh, again, we could have had more information if people like you didnt indirectly harass the creators and cause it to go on indefinite hiatus.
As for the Jade dog dick thing, I have multiple friends who are trans women who have issues with people blowing it out of proportion. Its important to remember that every trans woman is going to have a different opinion on this, and we shouldnt invalidate any of them, but at the same time what one trans woman says about it isnt the end all be all of the situation. Some trans women think this portrayal is transphobic, while plenty others think it isnt, and that people are making way too big of a deal out of it. Therefore I’m going to leave it at that. Personally I dont know if how Aysha and the team wrote Jade is transphobic and its not for me to decide. However, my trans friend would like to be quoted saying this:
“People claiming that the writers intended for Jade’s dick to be the driving force in her emotional and sexul appetite shows someone’s willingness to ignore Jade’s actual reasons for doing these things that she STATES in the actual text. All in favor of projecting their own transmisogynist reading onto the writers.”
This probably ended up being longer than my og post lmfao but fr anon im sick of people like you. Even if you didnt directly contact the creators of hs2, you’re literally the problem here. I wish you and others would stop throwing around these terms like lesbophobic, homophobic, transphobic, etc, because it literally makes those words lose meaning. Someone writing a lesbian couple having marital problems, especially in the context of Homestuck, is not fucking lesbophobic. And i hope i helped you understand that by throwing the terms back at you because tbh, im sure youre a good person with good intentions, and I would never seriously call you homophobic for this. But i hope you can have some fucking perspective and stop targeting marginalized authors and creators moving forward. Its embarrassing fr.
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https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDBpb/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCTwq/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHUxHb/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDxww/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCtVm/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCvo3/
She's hilarious but there's two videos where she starts to speak more mumblingly
ok first of all these are brilliant and i'm losing my mind and i love you, thank you for curating these to me.
i will transcribe them in a bit but i just felt the need to leave this "little" (it's long sorry) note:
as someone who's been raised catholic i just want to say that she is pretty wrong about almost everything she said about catholics, and i say that as someone who hates catholicism with my whole mind body and soul and who's been traumatized by this stupid fucking faith to the point where i can't get into a church without breaking into sobs dauihdasiuh. the catholic guilt is real but catholics are absolutely allowed to divorce and use contraceptives, and also have sex before marriage. the first one is met with some guilt esp from women altho honestly i think it's more due to mysoginist reasons than religious reasons, and the second and third ones are commonpractice and if you say that it's wrong and bad everyone will think you're a fucking weirdo
and even with the divorce thing, while the guilt is there (im pretty sure half the reason my mom doesn't divorce is because she would feel guilty about it, although again, i feel like that's got very little to do with religion and way more with internalized mysoginy), i cannot stress enough that divorce is allowed, almost everyone i know has divorced parents and they're all catholics. the church's official position is kinda weird (as of now pope francis basically said that it's "morally necessary" in some cases but he also referred to ppl who divorced and remarried as "imperfect", but like, it hasn't been forbidden for years, so much so that people get second marriages at catholic churches literally all the time, and i kinda feel like ppl overestimate how much ppl care about what the pope says. at least here in latam, cuz we've always kind of freestyled religion since it was imposed on us anyway, but like... in my experience the average catholic practitioner is INCREDIBLY less conservative than the vatican and i feel like most people don't even know what the pope says or doesn't say. and i'm saying that as someone whose grandfather almost became a priest and only gave that up because he fell in love with my grandmother, and he's been a ferverent catholic his entire life. also two of his kids divorced, one married a divorced woman, one is gay and living together without marriage with his divorced boyfriend, one never married, and one had two kids before marriage which necessarily means that they fucked, and none of that was ever a problem to him. oh, also, my dad had divorced AND he was a buddhist when him and my mom married. currently he is a spiritist)
i think it might be possible that u technically have to ask for "permission" to the church to remarry in church, but in practice i think it's more of a ritualistic thing than actually asking for permission, cuz i've never met a single person who had them say no. it was pretty much "hey local bishop guy so my husband sucked and we divorced can i marry again" "sure lol". obviously it sucks that you even have to ask, but it's nowhere near as strict as people seem to think
the contraceptive thing is also absurd. like i cannot stress enough that my family would absolutely flip if they found out i DIDN'T use contraception. that was always something that my family reinforced very strongly, ESPECIALLY my grandpa. i've never met a single catholic who does not teach their kids to use contraceptives. my high school was catholic (literally named the Holy Cross, fun times, although they didn't impose the faith or anything. in fact almost half of the students in that school are jewish, but like, still, there was a priest in the school board) and we were taught to use contraceptives, put the condom in a banana and the whole pizzazz during biology class
like yeah the bible says not to but it also says not to mix different fabrics and that doesn't mean it's actually a thing that's reinforced in most catholic communities doaihdaj at least not here in latam. in here non-catholic christians are actually way more hardcore about the puritanism rules than catholics are, particularly evangelicals, which are kind of overtaken the catholics' traditional role of being colonialist fuckers as they are mostly from the US so they come to further US imperialism through religion here. watch out catholic church they're coming for ur crown
and even outside of puritanism, "non practicing catholics" are absolutely a thing like ppl who are catholic but don't even pray or go to church, much less care about that shit douahdsaohj so like the stereotype that all catholics are like the very small minority of hardcore catholics is like the stereotype that every muslim lives by the ultra-conservative muslim rules. it's not true and it's stereotypical and taking the minority ultra conservatives to be the rule when they are not
there's also the fact that there are many different currents of thought inside the catholic church (a little bit like with judaism although way less flexible than judaism is), some of which are very conservative, some of which are progressive. here in latam in particular the teology of liberation is extremely popular (it's the one my family subscribes to, and i'm pretty sure it was actually born here in latam) and it's pretty progressive. for catholics, that is
and like mandatory disclaimer that i am coming from my own experiences with latam catholicism, which i feel is different from other catholic countries - my polish friends for example have experiences with catholicism that are a lot closer to those stereotypes than mine ever were - but since most of the catholic population in the world is brazilian (like me), and second place goes to mexicans, i feel pretty comfortable taking it as a ruler to measure general catholic practices
with that being said, however, the catholic church can choke and die in a fire as it is a symbol of colonialism first and foremost, its proselitism is one of the worst things ever, and even the progressive currents are still way too damn conservative for my tastes. i just don't feel comfortable transcribing something that i know is incorrect and stereotypical (and that in some cases is used to further oppression like with the Irish in the UK or armenian catholics, and i've even had some US-diaspora latinos hear some incredible things from gringos who assumed they were catholic, or, in their beautiful words, "had latino religion". but obviously in most cases catholics are the oppressors, especially here in the third world)
also, her assessment in the third video is absolutely correct. A/B/O IS just conservative gender roles born of christian and catholic imposition transposed to a fictional world where the genders have slightly different names, which is why i, as a rule, hate it dauhdsaiuhdauhda and even though the assessment that catholicism is thaaat much more conservative than other christian religions (it's absolutely not, it's Exactly As Conservative) isn't true, catholicism is still where most if not all of western conservative rethoric is born of, and ugh, it's so refreshing to see someone understand this and put it into words so well
so yeah keep that note in mind but anyway, transcriptions:
[Video transcription #1: in reply to a tiktok question, which says, "now i'm thinking about the catholic guilt that would come with it oh my god". user @Omarsbigsister is saying, "good morning", she then covers her mouth as she starts to laugh, before continuing, "I guess I'm the religious omegaverse tiktoker now. I did not know catholic guilt was more than just sex, I thought it was just about sex, but nO. people who are catholic, if you don't know, they get guilt over every little thing, they get guilty when they eat, they have guilt when, like... [dismissive gesture] they have fun... it's messed up *cut* [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] in which you HAVE to be bonded before... *sticks tongue out* *cut* and catholics, from what i know, uhm, cannot get divorced, so you can't be unbonded, you're stuck for life with that alpha or omega, and then you can't use contraceptives so if you have a heat or rut, good luck, you cannot escape it, and on top of that, they preach abstinence, right, so if you're having a heat or rut in your teen years you just gotta deal with it alone like you are not allowed to be bonded, so, that would be really intense."
#2: in response to a question, which said, "follow up question: if in the real world hijabis are women, in ABO universe would hijabis be omegas of all genders?". the user is shown stroking her chin in contemplative silence for a long time, before she says, "actually, both men and women have to wear a hijab, it's just more visible on women, but men also have to cover from like, the neck all the way down... so like when you see them [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] that's their hijab. *cut* Islam is actually treating men and women, like, fairly somewhat equally, so, I feel like in omegaverse alphas, betas, and omegas would all be held to the same standards, and alphas and omegas would also be held by the same standards but then culture would ruin it, just like western culture has ruined it. for your other question. 'would muslim families prefer betas more, and would betas be spiritual leaders', i feel like everyone prefers betas more, but then also Islam came to like, uplift women [a written note then shows up, which says, "like girls are seen as a blessing to have as kids"], so like omegas would be seen as like, a blessing to have as a child.
#3: in response to another tiktok question, which says, "fun fact bestie you cannot get divorced in the catholic religion even if your spouse is abusive and horrible to you so in omegaverse how would that work?". she replies, "the reason that Abrahamic religions seemingly fit so well into the omegaverse universe is because catholicism specifically and christianity, uhm, all the gender norms and all the cultural norms especially in the west came from catholicism and christianity, they were forced on people, and then you know, people might not be religious, but the norms stay. but now you have omegaverse which is basically just a bunch of like youth exploring the youth through this, like, werewolf fanfiction trope, using all these gender roles that you have in society on their head, so, really, what i'm saying, is that... omegaverse is just catholicism fanfiction"
#4: she looks at the camera and says, "getting islamophobic comments is one thing, but getting islamophobic comments that say that muslims cannot be in the omegaverse".... she then breaks into laughter for a solid 30 seconds
#5: she is shown reading out loud, in a mock-outraged face, a tweet that says, "about to murder tiktok they try to make Ramadan a 'quirky' trend. it's a religious holiday. stop it, get some help. /srsly /g.", then a follow-up tweet, which says, "saw a tweet saying on tiktok they are asking questions about how ramadan would work in omegaverse. i'm done with y'all, just say you disrespect muslims and go". then another tweet by a different user, which says, "i tried to read, i got secondhand embarrassment-" they then break out of character and say, "oh, that's fair," before going back, "if it wasn't ramadan i'd be boxing those people right now. those people should be ashamed to even think that way wtf". then another, which replies, "well i'm not celebrating it, so as a non-muslim, i'll happily box them". then, back to her normal voice, she says, "i really was just making a silly little tiktok and seeing that stuff really hurts... i'm just kidding, i can't keep a straight face. you like minecraft youtubers, what are you gonna do to me? what are you gonna do to me?"
#6: in reply to a tiktok ask, which said, "prince philip was an omega". she slowly films herself as she takes a walk, finds the nearest trash bin, and tosses the phone there, before putting the lid over the box. end ID]
#i hope u dont take that as me being mad at u anon#honestly i could care less if ppl offended catholics#i just dont like spreading misinformation and once i started writing i couldnt stop#the videos are still amazing and spot on tho except for the first one#long post#discourse#catholicism tw
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/post/627205399610884096/about-brendon-urie-lana-jade on prettyoddfever tumblr
so i was on the outside looking in on fandom back then (was kind of into panic, kind of crushing on ryan, read some fandom goings on but didn’t participate in fandom i don’t think) but had thought lana kind of being with b was better known.
ok, yes, she was a drama queen back then. not super surprising. early 20s, involved with those scenes eg emo, “scene girls”, early on in the internet being used in those ways. i didn’t know about most of those screenshots, and most of my perception of her was her youtube channel and the shots of her talking about b before the break up and her disavowing the open letter to b, which she stands by not being her even now (it was a joke by a guy who knew them both, mostly untrue, with inside jokes).
i guess stuff from over a decade ago shouldn’t be held against her. we can only for sure go by what she’s said this month, although she latter realized the online stuff was a catfisher, likely chelsey, and she didn’t want to delve into details about 07. if she did talk about that time now, i would take her word for it, because why would she put her name out there after all these years and give details only to lie about it? based on everything i’ve come across, that time in 07 with him is the only thing that likely was him being unethical/inappropriate, maybe even abusive, although we can’t know for sure without her saying (she was actually with him casually for months, met with him irl, was sexually involved with him). it’s the only situation that gives me significant pause now. if some of the anon accusations came out with their real names/faces, i’d have to reevaluate that view eg i’d be inclined to believe someone who put their name and face out there about a specific experience with b. anyone can make drive by anon accusations and close their account a day later about anyone doing anything, takes serious guts to stand by it.
edit to add: cash cooligan and alex from the cab may also have experiences with b that are cause for concern, but at this point, it’s pretty cryptic and seems to blame b for how capitalism and the music industry works. if alex got specific, there might be something there, but as it is, it makes alex seem like the violent one, not b (eg that he’d smash b’s face in if he saw him)
also, some things she was saying about b back in 07 could actually indicate not abusiveness, being dominating, etc but being submissive, into gender nonconforming things sexually, as well as genuinely mutual roughness. she connects his being a “kinky mother fucker” with her thinking he was gay, but i don’t think she is connecting it with him treating women shittily, implying the two are different, and that she’s connecting sexual interests with her with his attraction to men. this more likely implies him wanting to be acted upon, submissive/pliant, get “rough” treatment, than the other way around. it could also imply things she thinks is weird and are weird in our culture eg men being genuinely “submissive” with women, and i have other readings to that are speculative eg tribadism, him being a tease with his bum, him being into other sex acts more than piv, some people consider focusing on oral or manual or frottage/tribadism to be weird. and some things were also said by audrey, indicating their likely truthfulness (that he was bi, smaller than average penis, into anal stimulation in some forms or others).
also important to note: “kinky” looked very different in 07 from what it does now, as i kind of get into above. a decade ago, even bdsmers were against things that are normalized as part of regular, vanilla sex now like strangulation and seen as “mild kink” at most now (eg ddlg). strangulation used to be a hell no, run for your life thing, even according to most bdsmers. what people got up to under the banner of rough sex without identifying with the bdsm scene or relying on porn, where the man wasn’t deep into sadism (which would be hell for anyone with such a man at any point), was generally a lot milder than today eg spanking, hair tugs, light bondage, scratching, light bites, sucking hard/hickeys, pining each other down, wanting to be taken, blindfolds, ice cubes, heat. even rough thrusting, genital stimulation, nipple stimulation, etc wasn’t as rough as now. “throat fucking” and “piledriving” were fringe things at most. it was also more likely to go both ways to at least some degree and not necessarily connected with clear male domination, female submission or humiliation or degradation like now. i feel like people will read about the lana situation, her dms to someone, the fake letter, etc and conclude things back then reflect what “kinky” “rough” sex looks like now.
i... uh... knew some people into rougher stuff back then that didn’t identify with the bdsm scene (which back then was usually really abusive to women too but it’s gotten worse now) and it wasn’t like it is now, even when it left some bruises (let’s just say it didn’t hurt to get said bruises). even the guy who was too rough and caused me pain (in 2006) would look really different (worse) now i think and i still waver on how intentional i think he was in his causing it (jesus who likes having their clitoris/vulva/vagina so roughly? pain for fucking days. i gave up on trying to show and tell him how and didn’t get myself out of the situation after he repeatedly went back to how he wanted to do it). i could go into some specific detail on this if anyone wants but i’ll leave that there for now.
the “shaves everywhere” accusation i just find hilarious and really unlikely esp for pre-2010 haha (today in wondering about bden’s bush XD... twtl era, i’d believe it because he did shave his pits and even groin area at times, and in the 00s shaving everything wasn’t that normalized for either sex and was often considered unusual still. and b likes pubes on others, has referenced having pubes himself. back in my day when dudes still dug bush... btw, having a bush is a great way to tell the guys you can work with/teach vs the pornbrained ones haha). i’m sure that’s one of the things that make her cringe now for saying back then (along with bringing gayness/bisexuality into it).
i also find it unlikely that he lied to her about the status of their situation eg told her they were monogamous, but maybe that’s my default assumption about guys in music not being monogamous generally (some are, but there’s a lot of nonmonogamy and cheating). he was 20 years old, new to fame, getting LOTS of interest and opportunities from gals and probably a few guys, such opportunity and interest was mostly new to him, he wanted to explore some of said opportunities...
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okay so i finished daybreak! heres my thots (spoilers)
under a cut because idk how to shut up
the bad (rep stuff first, story stuff second since those are two diff kinds of bad)
the black girl is aggressive and violent
the latina woman turns into a “crazy” gross witch after the apocalypse
anti-asian racism in a line or two
every line is eli’s dialogue is just aave but he’s not even black
the high schoolers have a weird amount of sex (it’s not shown on-screen aside from a couple shots of them making out, but yeah)
the r slur is used in one scene
one nameless bg character is said to identify their gender as a seahorse, which just sounds like annoying attack helicopter jokes
now for the story stuff. josh is a huge fucking dick. i don’t know why he’s the protagonist. the only aspect of his character i liked was his backstory with his father, but everything else was just him being a judgey hypocrite asshole
also, eli SUCKS. i took a quick look in the tag for this show, and he seems to be the fan favorite, and i have NO idea why because every word out of his mouth made me wanna strangle him. and then in the episode where he died, it started playing clips of him with sad piano music, as if every single clip they used wasn’t just him being insufferable. it made his death hilarious instead of tragic bc its like. wow they really expected me to care about this guy huh? when all he’s done is make lowkey bigoted remarks and call stuff gucci?
episode 8 sucked so bad. there wasn’t any apocalypse at all, it was just a 45 minute movie about josh treating sam like his manic pixie dream girl and her having sex with him anyway and then he calls her a slut
the grossout humor didn’t get to me too bad, even tho i usually hate grossout humor. but the uncensored shot of the mutant pug shitting in the first episode was way too much like come the fuck on
the good
most of the characters are really likable and well-written!! i loved almost all of the main ensemble, and the supporting characters were really great too. and the villain was fucking great, it was nice to just see a plain old cartoon villain, and a found family of kiddos + their weird aunt rising up to defeat him
actual gay couple! no gaybaiting here, for real this time! and it’s interracial too which is awesome. AND IT’S WELL-WRITTEN AND REALISTIC.
the concept/setting is GREAT. an apocalypse where only people under 18 survived, and the teens have all split off into tribes based on their cliques in high school?? that’s really cool and funny. i might read the graphic novel after this to see more of it bc i love an apocalypse and i love a high school movie and this is both of those
josh is the protagonist, but it doesn’t put all the focus on him: it gives the backstories of the other main charas and some of the ensemble, too, and shows what everyone was doing in the couple days that lead up to the apocalypse. it makes for some awesome character-building, and you feel like you know these characters very well in the span of only 10 episodes
a LOT of this show’s humor is built on jokes that are like “millennials are woke now”. ex. instead of homecoming king or queen, they have gender-neutral homecoming royalty. this is in the “good” folder because, instead of boomer political comics, these kinds of jokes in this show, most of the time (not every single time, but most of the time), don’t feel mean-spirited. like i said before, it feels like a young person doing a parody of those jokes made by boomers, and it’s mostly done with love for millennials/gen Z. it feels more like an inside joke than mocking.
speaking of the humor, when the jokes hit, they HIT
the sets were fucking amazing. it really did feel like post-apocalyptic california
none of the cliques/groups are demonized in the end? the jocks are the “villain” group for a bit, but in the end, they’re on good terms with the heroes.
going off the last point, the cheermazons don’t allow boys into their group, and they have a distaste for men, but there’s not that EXTREME unrealistic man-hate that makes them come across as a negative stereotype of feminists. and they help the heroes, too. i hate men, don’t get me wrong, but i roll my eyes when i see a group like the amazons from percy jackson that like have men as their slaves and shit like that. like sorry you hate feminism so much. anyway the only complaint i have is that, afaik, there aren’t any trans women in the cheermazons, and they should have shown some so that radfems dont get any fuckin ideas identifying w them. there aren’t any trans characters at all, besides the seahorse person mentioned earlier, so that’s a problem that needs fixed in general, but esp. in the cheermazons where there’s potential for a radfem to see them and be like :)
there was a deaf side character that used asl! there were also girls seen with hijabs, one of whom is a leader of the cheermazons along with the deaf girl
angelica is great i love this lil bitch. making weed slime.
mrs crumble has a lot of depth and i love her
im tired of typing now. all in all i give it maybe a 7.5/10. it’s a lot of fun but it does have its problems. give it a shot if you like apocalypse stories or found family, and you can stomach a few cringe-ass insensitive things in what claims to be a woke show
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january book round up
27 books this month! the most i’ve read in a month in quite some time, and a good start to the year. a couple days late because i’ve been feeling a bit meh. i doubt i’ll be able to read this much at any point this year. but it’s nice to get a good strong head-start on my yearly goal. a mix of audiobooks and e-books so far.
a land so wild - elyssa warkentin ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a really lovely epistolary/found media m/m romance story, set during the 1840s, about a ship captain and a naturalist trying to chart a northwest passage in the arctic, and find a ship that was lost five years ago trying to do the same thing. very beautifully told, with lots of emotion that you’d think would be lost because of the mode of storytelling.
how to bang a billionaire - alexis hall ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a re-read. i remember being very sceptical of this when i first read it, but now that i’ve finished the entire series there’s so much i appreciate about it.
trade me - courtney milan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ my first courtney milan book, after hearing a lot of good things about her. the hype was deserved! i like her writing a lot and this book (a romance between a poor chinese-am daughter of immigrants, and a billionaire heir with an eating disorder) touched on a lot of stuff that you don’t typically see in romance novels. particular what it mean and what it feels like to be poor. this was probably my favourite treatment of billionaires in a novel (at least, ones where they don’t get beheaded).
hold me - courtney milan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the second in the series, equally enjoyable. the hero of this novel has to confront and own up to his sexism in ways that a lot of romance novels would simply let men get away with! if i’d known that that’s part of what the book covered i might not have been enthused to read it, because while i genuinely believe bigoted people can change for the better, i’m not super interested in reading about it. but i really enjoyed how milan wrote it, and the romance was lovely. (also the heroine is trans, nice.)
my lady’s lover - nicola davidson ⭐️⭐️⭐️ not a lot of substance, but it’s historical lesbian romance, which is my eternal catnip. a lady’s maid who’s the member of a society for sexual freedom falls in love with her mistress, and happily discovers that the feelings are returned. there’s sex, some angst, and a happy ending,
a lady’s desire - lily maxton ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ another historical f/f romance. pretty low stakes, without much external conflict, but it had good writing and great characters, and i’ll always have a soft spot for childhood friends to lovers. and let’s be real: i mostly picked this up because of the cover. a woman with her head in another lady’s lap, gazing gayly at her? yes, thanks.
rebound remedy - christine d’abo ⭐️⭐️ eh! m/m holiday romance, about a guy who gets dumped before christmas, has a whirlwind rebound romance with his bartender, and then starts falling deeper for him. nothing bad about it, but i just wasn’t feeling the romance. i’ve read shorter stories that had more chemistry and character interaction.
don’t let go - cynthia dane ⭐️ another f/f romance that i got mostly because of the cover, but this one let me down hard. i liked that it was set in taiwan; had a lot of cultural nuance and tidbits that i enjoyed, but everything else, the writing, the editing, and characters, the chemistry... it was a bust. it also had a weird and baffling approach to mental illness, and managed to be yet another book that makes me hate rich people. also... the two authors credited are the pseudonyms of the same person skfjhdfkj ihni why she’s crediting herself twice.
alone - e.j. noyes ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ LOVED THIS. f/f mystery/thriller-ish romance, though the mystery aspect is admittedly light. noyes has lovely prose and a good sense of storytelling, but the romance is where this really shone for me. which... idk, i’m aware that it might not be for others who read this book. but something about the way olivia fell so helplessly in love with celeste, everything celeste does to hold on to olivia... it appealed to me on a visceral level.
boystown book 1 - marshall thornton ⭐️⭐️⭐️ three short stories about a gay private eye solving mysteries in the community in the early 1980s. it reminded me of how much i love short form mysteries; there’s just something about stories being told that way that i can’t resist. i was also kind of charmed by the way our main character tripped into bed with a cute twink like every 10 pages. :3
poems i sleep next to - shelby eileen ⭐️⭐️⭐️ a collection of contemporary poems. really enjoyable. nothing wowed me, but several poems moved me.
how to talk to nice english girls - gretchen evans ⭐️⭐️⭐️ early 20th century f/f romance between a spirited american heiress and a nice proper english girl. low stakes, character driven. not really character driven enough actually; i felt like they didn’t get to spend enough time knowing each other. and some more external conflict wouldn’t have hurt. but it was hot and fun and well-written.
by his rules - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️ an m/m romance that looks at abuse in bdsm communities, and spends a good long time on recovery, survival, and healthy relationships that involve kink. i really could not get into the discipline stuff, but i really liked that the main characters worked for their HEA; nothing clicked magically into placed for them, and aiden was given space and resources to work out his trauma.
the wolf and the girl - aster glenn gray ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a retelling of little red riding hood set in early 20th century russia and france that focuses on the friendship between two young women. simple story, very beautifully told.
the secret diaries of anne lister - anne lister ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ i started reading this in the middle of last year, after i finished gentleman jack, and i was basically reading snippets at a time until december, and then by january i was eating it all up. i LOVED this. i loved the diary of this at times manipulative, haughty, but kind-hearted and tender and clever woman, and all of her loves and struggles and observations. there’s just something... very good about knowing and seeing that lesbians have always existed, and hearing her first hand accounts is just... GREAT. really looking forward to the next volume.
oh, earthman! - berlynn wohl ⭐️⭐️⭐️ an anthology of short stories. weird, fun, scifi-flavoured m/m erotica.
emma - jane austen ⭐️⭐️⭐️ took me long enough, i know! but i really really thoroughly enjoyed my time with this book, especially the audiobook, whose narrator i loved. i loved emma: her cleverness and wit and finesse and all her terrible blunders. though i could tell where the story was going, the getting there was really fun, and i super duper enjoyed the romance (though at one point i got seriously squicked out haha). and fight me: i adored miss bates, i thought she was the best character in the book. LOVE a spinster who don’t know when to shut her trap but is earnest and kind and gentle-hearted and GOOD.
«légendaire.» - kai ashante wilson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ kaw, i’m begging you, PLEASE write another fell length novel. or novella. please! i love his writing and world-building so so so much, i flip out thinking about it. until he does, these short stories will have to suffice. this was great: everything i love about his writing, revisiting the world and concepts that we’ve seen in his other books, with mesmerising characters and a tragic, but soulful tale.
a conspiracy of truths - alexandra rowland ⭐️⭐️⭐️ i love stories about stories, and as far as that goes, this a pretty good one! the one way it failed to grasp me was on the character front; i just didn’t enjoy the main character as much as i could, or as much as i was meant to, and i felt at times he was too far removed from the plot. basically, chant is a master storyteller travelling in a foreign land, when he’s falsely accused of witchcraft and spying. the novel details how he uses storytelling to get himself out of the pickle, and all the consequences that follow. there are some amazing side characters in this (esp. his apprentice, who i will definitely read the nest book for).
animal farm - george orwell ⭐️⭐️⭐️ felt like rereading this, so i did. and i mean, it’s animal farm! it holds up.
the overdue life of any byler - kelly harms ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ like i said above, i like books about books, and i got this thinking it would be something like that? but it’s more about a single mother who gets the chance to take some time off from her kids and her life, have fun, find romance, and how she deals with managing that, and the guilt, and all the elements that are introduced/reintroduced to her life. i don’t think this is an amazing book, but it’s a lovely one, and i know there are middle aged mothers out there who would benefit from reading it. it’s not about romance (though there’s a cute romance in it); it’s about motherhood and being there for yourself as much as your kids.
the subs club 1&2 - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the first two books in an m/m romance series. a group of friends is still reeling after one of them dies at the hands of an irresponsible dom. they decide to form the subs club; a website to review and rate doms, with an eye towards making the community safer for subs, though it doesn’t really work out that way. the first book follows dave, who ends up getting involved with a guy who’s eerily like ron swanson from parks and rec, and the second follows miles, a masochist who gets involved with a guy who likes to pretend to be a vampire (lmao??). i have to tip my hat to j.a. rock, who seems to have a knack for getting me to read things i’d be otherwise sure i wouldn’t be interested in. and i mean, even after reading, i’m pretty sure i don’t want to read other books about domestic discipline or s&m or pretend draculas, but her characters and plots are well written and engaging and i had a really good time. although, i have to mention: the second book dealt with internalised racism in a way that... while well meaning, was definitely not very deftly done.
alice & jean - lily hammond ⭐️⭐️⭐️ post wwii f/f romance set in new zealand. a young widowed mother falls for the dashing woman who delivers her milk every morning. they have to contend with community scrutiny, an old friend of alice’s husband, and her bitter old mother to fight their way to happiness. i enjoyed it; it was simple and the romance was incredibly sweet, though the writing did drag at times.
american dreamer - adriana herrera ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ DELIGHTFUL. the very definition of feel good romance! a young dominican-american man moves to the outskirts of new york to start his food truck, and almost immediately meets a cute librarian who turns his head. i flipping love queer romances with characters from the caribbean; it just feels so good when slang is part of the language of love.
minotaur - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ i read four books by this author this month, and this is hands down my favourite. i don’t know man, combine girls and monsters and lesbian romance and i”M THERE. thera is a teen orphan sent to a home for girls at the edge of town. there, she makes friends, raises hell, falls in love with the mysterious new girl, and also becomes obsessed with stories of the minotaur, half woman half monster, locked the labyrinth in a cliff not far away. this story appealed to me in so many ways, and i really hope the author writes more f/f in the future.
two dads and three girls - nick (yu) he ⭐️⭐️⭐️ the autobiography of a gay man growing up in china, and the story of how he finds himself, finds love, and becomes a father. very sweet.
whew. that took me a while lol. that’s it for january. i probably (hopefully) will be too busy to read as much this month, but i have some interesting books on my plate. currently listening to an audiobook of beneath a scarlet sky, which is unfortunately underwhelming, and i’ll probably move on with some fun YA.
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What are the important bisexual characters that you said helped you? I am having a hard time finding good bi representation in which they aren’t considered promiscuous or unstable
Hiya anon ! What a quality question, thank you ! Here’s another mini essay about bi rep lmao. If there are some that I forgot please tell me ! And to everyone, tell me about the bi characters who made an impact on your life, I’d love to know !!!!
Okay so.
- When I answered the anon and talked about the characters that helped me come to terms with my sexuality, I talked about two in particular. Jack Harkness from Torchwood is depicted as very promiscuous, and somewhat instable. He still meant a lot to me because a) him sleeping around was never that much of a problem, it was because he was from the future, where things were different, which I thought was refreshing and b) his instability was because of the weight of being an immortal hero. Also fanon!Dean Winchester from SPN, as an older, more macho, emotionally witholding, badass dude written as bi meant a lot to me, but he doesn’t really avoid that stereotype either. But at least they were heroes. However, I can understand wanting bi characters that actually don’t fit that stereotype, because bi people irl aren’t all like that, even if there is nothing wrong per se about sleeping with a lot of different people, or having mental issues to struggle with. And that was a while ago and now we have more and more cool characters ! Such as :
- Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. One of the best portrayals of bisexuality on TV imho. She didn’t start out as bi, she was this tough, cool, scary but with a heart of gold cop who had a lot of other plotlines before. But then, since they saw that a lot of wlw got this vibe from her, were really into her, and the actress came out as bi herself, they decided to use this. So it was super organic, and the way they introduced the subject was true to Rosa herself ; she’s a super private person, she doesn’t like anybody knowing about her life (it’s actually a running joke and Rosa Diaz has been implied to not even be her real name). But then she is dating a woman, and struggles with her parents not understanding and her coworkers find out, help her and support her. Her gay captain is there for her in his typical stoic but hilarious way. They organize game night with her when her parents won’t anymore. We see her crushing on women and dating, but it is treated exactly as the other character’s love life, they never make a big deal out of it. She isn’t the token queer character. She says outright she is bisexual and there is a specific point about her mom not understanding it’s not a phase and thinking she’ll end up with a man anyway, which #relatable. The focus is on the team as found family. Also right now she’s dating a butch woman, which is awesome since they are so underrepresented on TV and I hope we see more of her. That show really is my comfort show, it’s still bloodly hilarious and it really transcends the format to say some really deep woke stuff too, but never in a way that feels on the nose. Everyone should watch it tbh.
- Korrasami ! Oh my god, I was so blown away when they got together. They’re two characters from the animated series Legend of Korra, they start out as rivals in love who have feelings for the same guy, but as they have to fight baddies together, they become bestest of friends, and both fall out of love with the guy. Then in season 3 and 4, their relationship becomes central to the show, as Asami stands by Korra through some really tough shit. Also, they’re both ultra badass and fight really well together. A lot of fans started reading their chemistry as romantic, but we’d never thought they’d actually go there. But the show ends with them walking into the ‘sunset’ (well, the spirit lands) together, holding hands. Now, it was never completely explicit on the show BUT they were dealing with a lot of censure from the networks and you have to be willingly obtuse not to read it as romantic. And after that the creators drew them on dates, and there is a comic series in which they are shown kissing, talking about their feelings, introducing each other to their families, etc. It made me feel so validated when it happened, and I just adore the whole ‘love triangle ditches the middle one and fall in gay love with each other’ trope. (is it a trope yet ? it should be.) It’s still a kids show at its core, but it has amazing depth and deals with some very deep shit. Korra starts off as a bit annoying but she has a really cool development, she’s a girl character we need more of - brave, dynamic but also brash and reckless and action driven in ways that are almost always exclusively shown for boys. And Asami is a more typical girly girl but she’s also a brilliant engineer and has a spine of steel and she’s also very slyly funny. They’re amazing. And the comics are super cute.
- Now there are a lot of characters who are bi/pan that I love, and are good characters in themselves, but their arcs do intersect in some ways with promiscuity and mental instability. I’m thinking about Even from Skam and all his remake variants, Magnus Bane from Shadowhunters, several characters from Black Sails, Sarah Lance and Constantine from Legends of Tomorrow, Eleanor Shellstrop from the Good Place, Bo from Lost Girl, Ilana from Broad City, Joe McMillan from Halt and Catch Fire, God/Chuck from Supernatural (lmaooooo), several characters on Penny Dreadful, or in a totally different category, Vilanelle from Killing Eve or Hannibal from the series (who are hella bad guys but it’s never linked to their sexuality, and are also incredibly compelling to watch.)
And even though these characters taken individually, I would argue, are good rep because they’re complex and layered and interesting and never one-dimensional (and watching them feels incredibly empowering at times)....it’s still a trend. I feel like when writing a character that is attracted to multiple genders, there is always this sort of...tangle of tropes that writers default to, unconsciously. Some negative and some positive. It used to be this trope of bis being villainous, instable, jealous, flaky, immature, perverted, manipulative, cheaters, amoral, greey, etc...and then it evolved into something of a reclaiming and subverting this trope. So now you feel like the Bi Character kind of has to be badass, glamorous, seductive, often superpowered or extraordinary in other ways.. And they also for multiple reasons (they’re immortal, they’re sensitive artist souls, they’re from the future, they’re psycho, they’re exccentric comic relief, they’re daring adventurers and pioneers) don’t care about social norms which allows them to sleep and fall in love with whomever. And so they tend to have those super busy romantic/sexual histories and very troubled backstories. In the past it was a bad thing, now it’s often presented as this positive, enlightened or at least fun and badass thing. They’re heroic, with big hearts, a tremendous lust for life and a cool rebellious attitude. They’re complex, dramatic, tortured. Which can be super cool, too.
But it would be nice to have more ‘normal’ bi characters. I mean, boring bisexuals need to see themselves represented too ! Our sexualities don’t give us super powers. At the same time, it is true that bisexual ppl have higher rates of mental illness, which deserves to be explored, but it would be nice if it was actually articulated and not just part of this trope. But still. We need rep, I think, that is more grounded and varied. So I think that’s also why I read a lot of fanfic. (I was really into the idea of bi Steve Rogers for a long time, partly also because he’s both very mentally resilient, kinda boring in a good way, and very unexperienced in terms of sex/romance, which is pretty much the opposite of the trope)
- I think books, and YA in general, are a good place to find these ‘normal bis’ characters. I’m thinking in particular of Leah from Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (from the same book series that gave us the ‘Love, Simon’ movie) which is a super sweet coming of age/romance story about a super normal teenager who just happens to be also into girls (esp her best friend) and is loud and funny and very lovable and has zero doubts about being bi. You also have Adam Parrish from the Raven Cycle, another one of my forever faves ; he has an abusive family so PTSD from that but it never feels tropey, and it’s completely detached from his sexuality. He has magic powers, too. But his character feels completely opposite to the trope. He’s hardworking, somewhat withholding, prickly (and sometimes awkward), ambitious, determined, down to earth, and has a beautiful love story with another boy. And also Jane, from Jane Unlimited by Kristin Cashore, also really cool ; she’s a nerdy, smart girl who is actually inspired by Jane Eyre who has cool adventures in a weird house where we can follow her on different paths depending on the choices she makes, several of which are love stories. And finally the main character from The Seven Husbands from Evelyn Hugo, kinda fits the trope yeahhh since she’s a super glam actress who well, has seven husbands but it’s a pretty clever deconstruction since it turns out (slight spoilers) that Evelyn is actually through most of her life faithful in heart to the same person and the rest is mostly out of necessity, and her story feels very real and raw and down to earth.
- I don’t go there yet but I really want to check out Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Schitt’s Creek which I have read have very good bi rep. And I want to catch up on Orphan Black (Cosima and Delphine both don’t have exact labels but they’re multi-gender attracted and they’re this cool couple of scientists in a relationship that gets a happy ending). I will never forgive what they did to Lexa so I stopped watching but I do think that Clarke Griffin from The 100 is very good bi rep. Alexia from Skam France, meanwhile, is a bit of a boundary case for me because, even though she’s presented as the ‘weird one’ from the group, very colorful and liberated and exccentric, she’s still a very normal teen who’s happy and comfortable in her own skin, which is awesome.
- Disclaimer, I included characters in here that are also pan/omnisexual or don’t have a label but are attracted to several genders, for the purpose of this discussion i don’t think the difference is all that relevant at least to me (i mostly identify as bi for the sake of simplicity but tbh i could also fit under pan so i feel represented by all those characters). But I understand the importance of characters that state their identities more clearly and with pride.
- So in conclusion : there is nothing wrong with having a sexually active life or struggling mentally (even tho that one is not fun). And I do love all my badass casanova time travelling super powered bis.
But we need more bi characters that don’t fit that trope. We need bi characters in children’s shows, or that don’t have more than one relationship, or that don’t have a relationship at all, to break the tendency to always show bisexual ppl as overly sexual. We need bi characters in committed relationships to break this idea that bi characters are bound to cheat or can’t be satisified with only one person. We need bi characters that are mentally stable and successful and happy, to show that it’s possible. We need bi characters that are boring, bookish, nerdy, ordinary, clumsy, not particularly seductive, socially awkward, rule-sticklers, etc...to show that bi people are not all party animals, or doing it for attention, or to be wild, rebellious and socially progressive. It’s just a sexuality, it doesn’t say anything about your personality. Even though there are some correlations with MI or being bi might bring you in contact with more progressive ideas and to see life a bit differently, there is nothing automatic about it.
- In conclusion, reading testimonies from real people also helped me a lot. It’s a very dated but I got the book “ Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out “ when I was struggling with my own sexuality and it helped a lot, to read that even back then (1991) you had all sorts of regular ppl claiming to be bi and that it was not a phase or a fad or whatever.
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Mood lightener ask, I am intrigued by book recs from you since you mentioned something about a dinosaur series a bit ago? Color me intrigued so top five books you'd recommend for people who enjoy ASoIaF?
OH GOD THANK YOU XDDD
okay so, I’m taking the dinosaurs out first because... well. hahah.
the dinosaur lords is ABSOLUTELY a thing you might wanna try out if you like asoiaf for reasons, BUT I’m warning you, the author died before finishing it (unless he wrote the last three but didn’t have publishing contract for the second part of the six-books plan but no one quite knows and no idea) so most likely you’ll never get a conclusion, warning you beforehand so that’s why I’m putting it outside the top five. BUT IF YOU LIKE ASOIAF YOU SHOULD STILL TRY IT because:
the author was a friend of grrm’s and it shows;
it’s literally asoiaf except people go around on dinosaurs;
NO, REALLY;
there’s at least a couple characters who are totally asoiaf homages (there’s a dude named jaume who’s basically jaime and loras’s lovechild I SWEAR HE IS HE’S EVEN THE HEAD OF THE LOCAL KINGSGUARD) but not in a way that makes it look like plagiarism;
admittedly it takes a bit to find its rhythm, but when it does it’s really good because the worldbuilding is amazing and like... it’s basically fictional medieval europe with dinosaurs but to a really good degree and the representation is a+++, in the sense that idk one of the main four is obv. irish romani (or what irish romani are in that universe), a few are def. catalan, the french guy is really so french you wanna die, the italian dude actually comes from the oldest university in the realm, there’s people from russia/greece and the protagonist is basically some three eastern europeans countries thrown in one character but not stereotypically, like the guy is obv. a mix of russian/polish/mongol and he’s really a good character in that sense, there’s germans too, spanish ofc, like it’s really good in that sense
DINOSAURS FIGHTING DINOSAURS WHILE THEIR KNIGHTS RIDE THEM
there’s an entire supernatural angle with ARCHANGELS WHO MIGHT BE ROBOTS which is honestly intriguing and a+ and I just wish the books hadn’t finished just before going deep into it
if you also want lgbt+ rep............. well, two out of the three supposedly straight characters are irish romani dude and the protagonist and I can 100% assure you that everyone I dragged into reading those books agreed with me that in each single scene they have together (ie: most of them) they’re gayer than Actual Gay People in these books, but other than them half of the cast is bi, the gay sex is better written than the straight sex (forreal there’s one of the few actually.... sexy m/m oral sex scenes I read in published fiction???), their sexuality is not the whole of their personality but it’s fairly stated that most of them are Really Not Straight and it’s really done well;
actually THE ENTIRE KINGSGUARD IS GUYS WHO FIGHT VERY WELL BUT LOVE ARTS AS WELL AND THEY ALL SLEEP WITH EACH OTHER EXCEPT THE TOKEN STRAIGHT FRENCH CHARACTER THAT THE JAIME AND LORAS LOVECHILD HAS A CRUSH ON and ngl I thought they would end up fucking at some point if the books went on so... XDDD anyway a+++ kingsguard >>> the one in asoiaf;
ngl at some points there’s some badly written sex scenes (the straight ones lmao I’m 99,9% sure milàn was not that straight himself) and it’s not half as complex as asoiaf and doesn’t have as many characters but it has the same scheme except with dinosaurs, archangels being robots and three people are straight and two of them are in love anyway;
so tldr I greatly recommend the dinosaur lords if you want something similar to asoiaf, don’t expect an ending, enjoy dinosaurs and a lot of nice rep for everyone. also Y’ALL HAVE TO SHIP ROB AND KARYL WITH ME BECAUSE THEY’RE RIDICULOUS.
.... wow, and you asked me the top five. lmaaaaao. anyway, given that the dinosaur lords will not be in the top five, I’ll go and advise you to read:
IAN TREGILLIS’S ALCHEMY WARS, which is not like **fantasy** but it’s alternate history where the netherlands win the colonial wars in the 16th century because they figure out how to make brass androids and they use it to basically destroy the british and drive the french to canada while they conquer the US instead of the british. it’s a trilogy, it’s completed, it’s flawless and features: FRENCH CATHOLICS VS DUTCH CALVINISTS WITH THE FRENCH WANTING TO TAKE BACK PARIS, PREDESTINATION VS FREE WILL IN THE ANDROIDS DISCOURSE, REHASH OF 16TH/17TH CENTURY PHILOSOPHY DONE GREATLY, the greatest female character of genre literature since grrm (berenice GUYS BERENICE IS THE BEST GOD I LOVE HER SFM), the evil antagonist who’s a gal cersei wishes she was (like she’s terrible but she’s competent), the davos-like french general who knits in his spare time and the protagonist is the cinnamon roll-est android ever I love him sfm OH and the one time I cried because of a catholic fictional priest. guys tregillis is an a+++ top notch writer who has no time to waste with fillers and knows how to write a story even if HE HATES ME AND HE WANTS ME TO SUFFER and like... alchemy wars is really really good give it a go k?1,5. tregillis also wrote another alternate history trilogy, the milkweed tryptich, which is basically ‘the nazis create the x-men to win the war and so the british counteract by evoking ctuhulu and it goes exactly as it promises’. now: I have a love-hate rship with that one because the last book is narratively working but I hate everything it chose to be for reasons also i wanna punch the protagonist in the face, but thesuperevilgirl is totes the cersei of the situation and her brother has.... some srs jaime moments lmao he’s also my favorite ofc god klaus ily so much, and it has... some... well... ENGAGING choices lol I mean i loved book one and two and the third I did reluctantly but it could be an option? anyway ian tregillis is amazing and y’all should read him bye
the curse of chalion by lois mcmaster bujold has, as the amazing soul who recommended it to me pointed out, a protagonist that manages to be jaime and theon and partially sandor put into one. IT AMAZINGLY WORKS. the plot is kiiiinda more straightforward if you know spanish history bc the moment you figure out it’s the fantasy version of how castille and aragona united you know where it heads, but it has a lot of nice twists, also some a+ lgbt+ rep tho not as much as the dinosaur lords and the protagonist is.... really great I love him XD also ngl the fact that it ends fairly nicely is a balm so I’d try it, there’s other books in the same verse but I haven’t gotten around to read them yet
... guys stephen king’s dark tower is my fantasy favorite series EVER like ever, I love asoiaf and brienne is in my heart and she’s my true rep but nothing will top TDT for me ever for reasons and while it’s a completely different thing I still recommend it. caveat: I hate the last book with a vengeance and I think king fucked up the last two thirds real bad, but..... hey, it’s finished and the rest is 100% worth it. also jaime is totally the lovechild of the male protagonist and the other male-coprotagonist who are also my #1 ship ever in history so I’d give it a go ;) ;) ;) also while eddie’s my fave roland deschain is honestly the kind of character that you can only bow in front of like if I ever made an oc one hundredth as good as roland is in conception and execution and everything I’d feel like I accomplished everything I need in life. IT’S WORTH IT. TRY IT.
terry pratchett’s discworld: yes, it’s 41 books. yes it’s a lot. but you can read them by cycle which makes it a lot easier, they’re fun (the first three are a bit meh but the rest is all top notch I swear), they’re sarcastic and witty and delightful and it’s a++++ fantasy and I’ve been wanting to do the asoiaf au for ages sigh but anyway if you don’t want dark and grim but also want a+++ narrative, good satire about how our world sucks and a lot of fun at the expense of our pop culture (guys the book about their version of australia is a hoot and there’s a leonardo da vinci!!) GO FOR IT. IT’S AMAZING. also your life isn’t complete until you read about sam vimes and the local version of death speaking in capslock and being a cat person. also charles dance plays one of the mains in one of the tv adaptations and he was delightful xD
this is going to gain me rotten tomatoes, but....... grrm’s shared series wild cards. that he has going on with fifteen other writers including the aforementioned tregillis and milàn.yes, it’s like 28 books by now. no, it’s not perfect by all means and certain arcs are a total wtf and you don’t even have to read all of it, but especially grrm’s characters in it are obvious templates for asoiaf people (the powerful and amazing turtle is dark sam tarly and jay ackroyd is basically jaime without the incest and the extra good looks while lohengrin is brienne’s spiritual twin except for the looks), the shared worldbuilding is great, the alternate history story where buddy holly didn’t die and some of the protagonists organized a concert for him bc he was poor as hell was genius, and while a lot of the older stuff is dated and most likely was progressive for the eighties and would read a bit wonky now they always were super-inclusive, it has a bunch of nonwhite/nonstraight characters (esp. in the last books but there were also in the old ones, and the longest-standing gay dude since the eighties got a husband in the last trilogy!!! it was so ;_;), the alternate history is really good imvho and if you enjoy asoiaf you probably would like most of wild cards. if you want a reading order I made one here. xD
here you go sorry it took me one hour to answer it but IT GOT LONG XDD
#the dinosaur lords#alchemy wars#wild cards#discworld for ts#the dark tower for ts#book recs#john-childerass#ask post
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Stan Figures It Out: Part 1 (or, Asmodeus’ Super Fun Beehive Poking Text Log) (or, Nobody)
((So a few days ago me and Sarah went through a lot of really cool character development, but it was all over discord. I’d really like to have a record of it over here and let ya’ll read cuz it was GR8.
Broke up it up into two parts since it’s so much, and this is part one. Basically Ash ( @ashenheartx ) decided to bother Stan about stealing his idea of making Merlin into a Hell puppet for a hot second, his previous relationship with God, and basically have a big old gay crush on Lucifer. Stan hates all these things and overreacts in true Stan theatrics fashion.
Warnings: NSFW descriptions and general lewd emojis. Ash being Ash. No other triggers far as I know.
Next part to come soon, probably tomorrow.))
Ash:
[txt] ps fuck you for stealing my idea and then failing it btw this is overdue
Stan:
[txt] OH CONGRATULATIONS
[txt] ITS BEEN HOW FUCKING LONG? AND YOU JUST GET THE BALLS TO FUCKING SAY SOMETHING TO ME?
[txt] WELL WELL WELL AT LEAST I KNOW YOU CAN DO MORE THAN FUCK
Ash:
[txt] well your butt was already spanked figured itd take this long for it to heal
Stan:
[txt] HARDY HAR HAR. YOURE REAL FUNNY YOU KNOW THAT? I SHOULD GIVE YOU A PROMOTION TO HEAD FUNNYMAN
[txt] GUESS WHAT THE CURRENT FUNNYMAN IS DOING?
Ash:
[txt] ruling hell for you
Stan:
[txt] WHA
[txt] NO
[txt]
[txt] I PUT HIM IN CHARGE OF THE WRITING TEAM FOR RICK AND MORTY
[txt] SO KEEP THAT IN FUCKING MIND
Ash:
[txt] you lied so hard and fast
[txt] you STUTTERED IN TEXT
Stan:
[txt] WELL I FIGURED THATS HOW YOU LIKED IT
Ash:
[txt] STUTTERED?
Stan:
[txt] I MEANT HARD AND FAST BUT FROM YOUR TRACK RECORD YOU DO SEEM TO LIKE SHRINKING VIOLETS SO
[txt] SHRINKING SHRIEKING NUNS
Ash:
[txt] that was ONE nun
[txt] well alright it was mORE than oNE nun but she was special circumstance
Stan:
[txt] MMMMHMMMMM. AND BY THE WAY THAT WAS TIME WELL SPENT GOOD JOB. THAT DIDNT TURN INTO AN INCREDIBLE FAILURE
[txt] WHILE WE'RE ON THE FUCKING TOPIC
Ash:
[txt] he is only a failure FOR NOW
[txt] he's still not a defective one like many others
[txt] and has actual power
Stan:
[txt] Yeah he does I'll give him that
[txt] Can you really blame me for trying to step in and speed things up?
Ash:
[txt] yes
Stan:
[txt] Nope not allowed
Ash:
[txt] it is allowed because now it will take TWICE AS LONG
[txt] because now he has sex and it's not as much of a pressure point
Stan:
[txt] im sorry im
[txt] IM FUCKING
[txt] gagGING BE RIGHT BACK
Ash:
[txt] ?????????? stop thinking about my son's dick
Stan:
[txt] YOU MENTIONED YOUR SONS DICK and please DON'T act like you DON'T think about it
Ash:
[txt] it's kind of my entire schtick to think about hidden treasure
Stan:
[txt] Isn't the real hidden treasure the dicks we sucked along the way though
Ash:
[txt] see now ive gone from mad to camaraderie and i dont appreciate that
[txt] some how i doubt you have sucked any dicks tho
Stan:
[txt] OH NO IM THE DEVIL OOOOOHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[txt] IVE SUCKED ONE DICK DONT @ ME
Ash:
[txt] 🤔
[txt] proof
Stan:
[txt] UH IM SORRY
[txt] THEY DIDNT REALLY HAVE KIK OR SNAPCHAT BACK AT THE BEGINNING OF THE UNIVERSE
Ash:
[txt] bitch you gave god a bj why isn't this FRONT PAGE news
Stan:
[txt] THERES SOME HIDDEN TREASURE FOR YOU NOW FUCK OFF
Ash:
[txt] GURL WE AIN'T DONE WHO ELSE YOU BLOWIN
Stan:
[txt] RIGHT NOW IM PRETTY SURE EVEN ENTERTAINING THIS CONVERSATION IS CONSIDERED SUCKING YOUR DICK SO YOU??????????
Ash:
[txt] pretty sure my poor dick is flacid and not in your mouth but okay
Stan:
[txt] THE LAST THING YOU WANT IN MY MOUTH IS YOUR DICK
[txt] I'LL SUCK YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING HEAD
[txt] ILL VORE YOU FUCKING TRY ME
Ash:
[txt] honey
[txt] darling
[txt] you've done worse to me please
[txt] oop kink shamed the devil
Stan:
[txt] If there's anything that can be said for me
[txt] It's that I don't have that as a kink
Ash:
[txt] shocking honestly
[txt] what with that mouth tum
[txt] but really not even luci? slacking
Stan:
[txt] YOUSHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT LUCIFERS ENTIRE DICK
Ash:
[txt] why the FUCK would i do that? it's a good dick
[txt] ESP WHEN IT'S CUTE AND SMALL
Stan:
[txt] LISTEN YOU OVER GLORIFIED FUCK BUDDY
[txt MAYBE I SHOULD TELL EVERYONE ABOUT YOUR LITTLE """""HIDDEN TREASURE""""""
Ash:
[txt] my cute butt because that's not hidden at all and you can ask luci
Stan:
[txt] Is it motherfucker????????????? Is it???? You're telling me you let Lucifer fuck you in the pussy????????????????????????? Because I'm calling bullshit on that. I'm calling bullshit that you ever allow anyone to get that fucking close to you anymore.
Ash:
[txt] well all of that is true, but he is aware of it i am sure. we didn't spontaneously know each other when we dropped out of the sky
[txt] besides you probably dont share treasure like that because then how do you get to roll around in it when you want to to feel special. you dont. that's like telling people where the candy stash is
Stan:
[txt] YOU REALLY HIDING THE CANDY FOR LIKE 6000 YEARS CHIEF?????[txt] AT THE VERY LEAST I SHOULD GET A TASTE
Ash:
[txt] oh wait did i let the cat out of the bag for you because wow??????????????????
[txt] didn't you already know i had a pussy like come on man you've probably found it already
[txt] it's pretty hard to remember some of that time when we first got down here though
Stan:
[txt] oh no bitch
[txt] i definitely knew
[txt] a shame you don't reMEMBER the fun we had
[txt] but it's been a WHILE AND A HALF
Ash:
[txt] must not have been all that good?????????????
[txt] dick wasn't bomb apparently
[txt] besides you alwyas had a thing for luci
Stan:
[txt] I'LL PUT A BOMB IN YOUR ACTUAL ASS I DID NOT ALWAYS HAVE A THING FOR HIM AND STOP CALLING HIM LUCI
Ash:
[txt] you had a THING for luci the first day we hit Hell don't even pretend you didn't
[txt] luci luci luci
[txt] how else am i supposed to say his name when he poppin that puss
Stan:
[txt] IM GONNA F CU KING PISSS
[txt] FUCK OFF
Ash:
[txt] 💄💯✨
[txt] and lemme remind you; it pOPS 💦
[txt] if you aren't saying 'luci' when you come im not sure what you're doing with your life
[txt] but it's the wrong thing, darling
[txt] i'll pray for you and your weird little obsessive love affair
Stan:
[If Ash is anywhere near the ninth level of Hell at that moment he might hear Stan literally screeching like a raccoon being rammed with a tennis racket. But then shortly after he wouldn't hear anything except for the illusion of Mitski's "Nobody" chorus playing on loop. It was sad and melancholy and repetitive and perfectly summed up the insult Stan WANTED to say about Ash's fucking life, but wasn't able to get past the screaming. Who the fuck cared about Ash's little opinion? Nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody....]
Ash:
[Look, Ash is a CACKLIN' instead of being offended because if Stan had meant to camouflage his feelings he had instead loudly broadcasted them. So, as a final goad, he gently hit send one final time.
[vid] it's grainy like ten years ago small cellphone quality with sound, but it sure is Lucifer getting railed from chest to between thighs. it's less than thirty seconds and includes orgasms that end with dick withdrawing with an aforementioned pop and leak of white fluid
[txt] ❤️ 🎵 ttyl ]
Stan:
[Stan was having a HARD TIME OKAY????? He sure as fuck didn't need to be called out by Ash, and he sure as fuck couldn't keep up the illusion as soon as the video came through. That song snapped right out of Ash's reality with the same kind of swiftness as Stan's surprisingly potent jealousy boiling up within him. The phone got thrown on the ground, stomped on, punched a few times, then kicked across the motel room.
THEN Stan got out a bat and beat the phone within an inch of it's digital life, manifested a hydraulic press and squished the phone with 12 tons of pressure per square inch, before finally mANIFESTING A GERMAN LEOPARD 2A6 TANK AND ROLLING IT THROUGH THE MOTEL LOBBY TO FINALLY DESTORY THE PHONE.
(And then blast it with the tank's fully traversing rotating gun turret but by then he'd realized he'd never get that image out of his head no matter how much damage he did the phone.)]
#ashenheartx#burningfeathersx#discord shenanigans#long post#tried to make this easy to read as possible but if you have any trouble let me know#TLDR: WHY YOU MAD??? CUZ LUCI'S PUSSY POPS SEVERELY AND YOURS DON'T?????))#ooc
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incomplete list of gay st episodes
happy pride here’s my contribution
season 1:
city on the edge of forever
domestic!au
spock’s Poorly Concealed Jealousy
the actual physical woman jim is supposed to be boning (to spock, on where they belong): “you? at his side, as if you’ve always been there and always will”
p l e a s e
the naked time
I'm choking just thinking about this ok
spock, inhibitions lost, fucking tackling jim about his feelings
h a n d h o l d i n g
canon dialogue: “when I feel friendship for you, I am ashamed”
shore leave
“push...push hard....d i g it I N T H E R E, MISTER SPO --
thankyouyeomanthat’ssufficient”
truly legendary
flirting in life-threatening situations(TM)
the planet gives them whatever they desire most & spock’s travel time is suspiciously fast
the devil in the dark
oh my god
standard Battle Power Couple bullshit
orders? don’t know her. we disobey orders to save each other like MEN
dramatic cave-ins
spock melds with an alien & jim is very close to losing his shit
as usual
operation: annihilate
okay listen basically any episode where spock gets sick/injured is fuckng...Too Much
McCoy: uh jim.......do you not mayhaps have a ship to run??
jim: do I look like i FUCKING care. my bf’s hurt just Do Something
errand of mercy
this episode is so fucking slow
do you know why?
because they can’t. stop flirting.
please y’all are trying to sneak into a compound can you tone it down and FOCUS for two (2) seconds
this side of paradise
this isn’t even that gay it’s just included on principle
did u kno star trek invented sex pollen?
yup.
spock hangs upside-down from a tree just watch it
season 2:
we getting real gay real fast kids
amok time
this is it. this is The Episode. this is the hallowed ground where it all began
seriously watch this Very First about 800000000 fanfic things will make sense
jim & spock Not Looking at each other and discussing Vulcan mating habits
spock about to challenge all Vulcan traditions bringing jim (and bonus bones) down to Vulcan
spock! smiling!
SPOCK! SMILING! AT! JIM!
spock, in full Vulcan mating throes, wrestling jim to the ground
later “huh my mating drive is gone now. fascinating”
spock, logically: ‘I can’t talk about this based on thousands of years of Vulcan privacy”
spock, gayly: “yeah ok jim i’ll tell u”
I can’t even list everything this ep is such bullshit just watch it
mirror mirror
‘if I read my Spocks correctly”
spock w a beard, jim w a cutoff tank. true gay fashion icons
sparkly eyeshadow
spock being ordered to kill jim for his own gain and Not Doing It
u just Kno that jim has to keep reminding himself not to flirt w mirror!spock
bread and circuses
this made me and @phoenixexploded SCREAM in my kitchen
flavius and his cutoff shorts? a Gay McFreakin Icon
u kno that post that’s like ‘gay people don’t know how to use chairs’ yeah
this ep is more mcspock than anything
flirting snark in inopportune situations, including but not limited to: during a fight for their lives, in a prison cell, in a prison cell AGAIN
spock saves bones’ life
bones: “why, you wouldn’t know what to do with a genuine, human emotion --” “really, doctor?” “yeah, i’m worried about jim too”
not mentioned above: the FUCKING sex eyebrows. bones keeps flicking his eyes to spock’s lips.
the sexual tension is eNormous. save them
the ultimate computer
when your bf gets jealous of a computer
bones: spock sure loves that computer
jim: yeah I Hate It. No Reason Why Just a Bad Feeling
Actual Canon Dialogue: “Computers make excellent and efficient servants, but I have no wish to serve under them. Captain, the starship also runs on loyalty to one man, and nothing can replace it, or him.”
friday’s child
jim & bones have a fight & when jim apologizes spock basically tells him off Vulcan-style
uh bones adopts a baby it’s fine
bones is holding hands w this warrior lady and when spock walks by he YANKS his hand out of hers like a guilty kid
spock makes an Angst Face and walks away
there is no context for any of this
bones: “you put one hand here to support its head -- “ spock: “I would rather - I would rather not”
the baby gets named “leonard james” and they’re like spock what a great name right? what do you think?
spock: I think the two of you will be insufferable for a week, captain
journey to babel
fucking. iconique
Worst Meet The Parents Ever
Amanda & Jim bond over being in love with Vulcans
Spock & Sarek bond over their illogical humans
jim pretends he’s not Literally Dying of a stab wound so spock can save his dad
the apple
can you maybe Stop Flirting before you’re all dead
handholding bc why not
spock Yeets Himself in front of a poison dart (for jim ofc) and then tries to say it was the logical course of action
bones calls spock the devil pt 1
a piece of the action
“spocko”
spock says jim’s driving alarms him
this episode is terrible. please watch it
the changeling
spock melds with a computer & gets hurt and jim LOSES IT
no platonic touches we cling to each other’s arms instead
catspaw
this ep is complete batshit
bones calls spock the devil pt 2
kinky dungeon adventures
the deadly years
this shit is ANGSTY
they all start aging really fast ig
jim: ‘i’m not pretty anymore’ spock: I love u anyway captain
spock displaces jim for his own good and jim’s like ‘how could u of all people betray me like this. I thought u LOVED me’
season 3:
and the children shall lead
turbolift makeouts
”my Vulcan friend”
can your bf bring you out of a full-blown, alien-induced panic attack by saying your name one (1) time? no? didn’t think so
need me a freak like THAT
this also made us start shrieking in the kitchen btw. my mom thought we were dying
the tholian web
this is The Angstiest Episode of TOS
they think jim’s dead & can’t stop arguing and it’s Sad
jim leaves them (just Spock and Bones btw) a message to listen to after his death & it’s like ‘trust each other. be strong. love, ur bf’
when they find him he’s like ‘what happened? how’d u get along without me? what did u think of my message”
& they’re like ‘haha what message. nah it was fine.’
jim: yeah sure I call bullshit
whom gods destroy
this megalomaniac captain gets a crush on jim & spock is Not Having It
at various points the bad guy impersonates both of them. both jim and spock can tell that it’s him.
like listen. as a viewer I have the benefit of dramatic timing and background music and I couldn’t even tell
in conclusion, it’s gay, lads. thanks for coming to my tedx talk.
i’ll be back soon with additions esp to season 3. u can’t stop me.
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before i get ready for bed im just gunna write a journal entry here:
yesterday when i was really drunk w a couple friends, i came out to my friend who ive jokingly mentioned as "my homophobic friend" in a couple previous posts as "liking women and being pissed off by men." and then he asked me what kinda girls i like. and after talking a bit about how much i love butch women but that femme women are really hot too.. he was like "i feel u" and thats how i ended homophobia...
but jokes aside, even though hes spoken unprompted several times about how gay relationships/sex are wrong and sinful, ive never been scared around him or of him finding out im a lesbian.. i just wasn't ready to tell him that, especially not unprompted. and a big part of my willingness to overlook that was (besides that he told me that a man attempted csa on him) that i have a connection with him that i don't have with many people anymore; the fact that we were both broward county foster care children. we never lived in the same group homes, but both coming out of that system creates a very specific type of thinking, and willingness to immediately tell certain people about your trauma in that tone that tells you theyve been at least 2 years in therapy. and now the new girl who moved into my building is sabrina! who i did live with for at least a year i think! honestly im extremely relieved to have someone ive lived with before back. she's also been openly bisexual since back then, which probably made it easier for me to be honest last night. this is honestly the life where i can connect to other mentally ill lgbtpoc without the tumblr drama
it also feels like a dramatic contrast to the two white girls ive hung out with after work.. the one i know better out of those two is also bisexual but she a southern raised white woman and the other girl is a white cuban.. and they started talking about politics when we were smoking and i was like girlll... these bitches scare me for real. but i still have to work with them and don't have my head screwed on straight enough yet to read and remember all those details and argue their bigotry without being treated like a joke, esp when they've already repeatedly misgendered me and sometimes laughed after doing it.
#ghostpost#call me beep me if you wanna keep me the more time i spend around people i can really be open with the more i get tired of the tumblr commu#ive met some really awesome people on here but it's like finding gold in a sewer#and im like woah.. i can have this gold AND leave the sewer!#also i think this is the last of me hanging out with white people unless they've REALLY earned my trust
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could you give me a rundown on what being gender critical is? i get the basics i think but if you don’t mind explaining your views?
oh boy anon i’ll sure try!! idk if im the best person to talk about it tbh and ive confused a lot of people trying to explain my views before ahfjkfh but ill try REALLY hard to keep my adhd ass in check lmfao. if theres anything i said thats confusing & you need cleared up feel free to @ me againi dont know how long gender critical has existed as a concept, but i wouldnt be surprised if it was developed as a reaction to a certain VERY vocal part of the trans movement/trans rights activists
(so when you talk to people (trans ppl) about gender i think people usually break it down into several a few categories: gender identity, gender roles, and gender expression. i think most trans people are aware of & separate their sex from their gender identity, the identity being something innately part of every person, the roles generally speaking the bullshit that society expects & should be rejected, and gender expression really just being the traditional “feminine” or “masculine” behaviors/dress you use regardless of your innate identity.in trans circles/lgbt (merch, lol) sites i’ve seen the phrase passed around “gender is a social construct.” i think trans people who do/used to say that meant it kind of like that since gender was created by societies so it doesn’t matter how you identify/why not expand the understanding of gender (ergo, non-binary genders getting popularized). i think this fell out of popularity because it was transppls attempt to validate ourselves and conservatives cant wrap their mind around social constructs are/the distinction between sex and gender and so it wasnt really working out lmfaobut now there’s been some scientific studies getting popularized that have Suggested the existences of male & female brains and that trans ppl have the brain of their identified gender, therefore the disconnect between their brain and their body manifests as gender dysphoria. (i think the transmed community has especially taken to this idea esp because of kalvin garrah discovering these studies & now kind of preaching them as facts & science. with this comes him, his friends, and all the transmed ppl who stan him ryan and london saying that Gender Isnt Socially Constructed)then theres the posts circling around here saying Transwomen Are Women/Real Women + when the women’s march happened in america after trump got elected, i saw quite a few things on facebook where ppl were saying that all the talk of vaginas and shit were transphobic and trans-exclusionary and they should keep in mind that not all women have vaginas, etc etcthen u have what i believe (or at least hope) are outliers in the trans community being dug up (usually transwomen) who say........ The Most ridiculous shit imo. like saying theyre more of a woman than ciswomen (i’ll use cis strictly to mean not-trans in the context of this post), transwomen claiming theyre having a period, and just in general perpetuating “cotton ceiling” stuff like lesbians just needing to get over their transphobia to be with a pre-op transwoman. (again i would like to reiterate i DO NOT believe this is what the majority of transpeople believe, its just a vocal minority thats gotten attention from receipt blogs IMO.))**sorry that this post is already becoming an essay and if its derailing from the question, but this is what i think gender critical stuff is meant to react toso kind of in opposition to mainstream ideas of what gender is, i think radfems/gender critical people dont really break down gender into the different things like identity, roles and expression. from my understanding, gender was socially constructed based on sex stereotypes. i think we can all agree that stereotypes are Bad, so why should we identify with some set stereotypes?
the gender critical beliefs is that there’s not right or wrong way to be male or female (male and female in this post meaning to strictly refer to biological sex). gender is holding us back by continuing to subscribe to sex stereotypes and is counterproductive to building a society where people are free to express themselves however they like. (a lot of gender critical ppl equate gender identity with personality, and while i think this can sometimes be the case w nondysphoric people & mogai genders, it isn’t always and usually isnt, because as i mentioned before, a lot of ppl know enough to say that gender expression is something independent of gender identity.)as for my personal take on it & how it plays a part of my life (apologies that this is going to get super anecdotal):this all is related to my own transition. since questioning being trans, i fluctuated between different non-binary identities. i didnt think i was Trans Enough to call myself a transmale because i didnt want to kill myself over not having a penis (or even trans enough to call myself trans at all lol), so i thought i needed to stay as being nb. then i realized they/them pronouns did...... nothing for me. the whole time i had she/they/he or they/he in a profile i was always secretly hoping someone would just call me he lol.
but i felt like i was an insult to REAL transmen. it took me a while to realize that i didnt care too much about the specifics, i just needed to do what made me happy. that happiness was being read as male & using he/him pronouns.
but even then id still struggle. id have moments of thinking that i was just copying my best friend (who had a similar nb -> binary transmale path as me), or that i didnt even feel like a boy, that i was STILL faking being trans, that i should feel more of x y & z, that id made a mistake with starting testosterone, etc. reading radfem/gender critical stuff used to trigger the fuck out of me lmfao.i think what i eventually realized for myself and the sentiment other gender critical transppl share is that i was setting up an expectation/standard for myself that was impossible to attain. with mainstream gender theory, a cisman and i share our gender identity, our gender is the same (”cis” as its used to “identifying with your biological sex”). the thing is though, in terms of sex/gender, theres nothing i find that i have comparable to a male. i dont act like a “man” because im not one, im a TRANSman. ive lived most of my life so far as female and being socialized that way has been significant to me. i relate a lot to women and its always felt wrong to me how suddenly because im transitioning it felt to me like i was expected to revoke my right to speak on feminism/womens experiences. way before i discovered gender critical things i was pissed off at people trying to be “allies” to transpeople saying shit like “all men are trash transmen are real men so theyre trash too uwu!” like. fuck that. and fuck you for insinuating i would EVER treat a woman the way that men do.
like i know there are transmen (and just transppl in general, for that matter), who try to overcompensate with misogyny/misogynistic ideas because they think itll help them pass better but fuck
anyway. im proud of being a natal female and being socialized that way. being trans isnt exactly a party but im glad i could get the insight i have into the treatment of women and so forth. and the thing is, this isnt a contradiction to me being trans at all. once i let go of whether or not i was “male enough” of “valid” as a boy, i could once again just focus on the very concrete evidence in my life: i was EXTREMELY dysphoric about my chest. i’ve been on hrt for almost two years now and ive had top surgery. my dysphoria is almost non-existent since ive had surgery. i dont mind & even get excited about all the changes coming from being on testosterone. (dont like that i cant sing like i used to and that i’ll probably end up balding at least by my 50s if my dads head is any indication, but cismen have this problem too so whatever)
also ive never felt quite right when i was calling myself gay (exclusively attracted to men). i share some issues that gay men might, i Can be affected by homophobia because i Do pass as male, but its still not 100% the same experience and i think that distinction is importantmy concerns & how being gender critical is important to me:
me coming out as trans was a process over time. using the usual trans rhetoric, i was having difficulties explaining myself to people. specifically im thinking about my mom. when i said i was uncomfortable with being seen as a girl, she said she was uncomfortable too. she liked dressing more like a boy. some other shit she said too that i dont remember, but my basic takeaway: cispeople, particularly ciswomen, arent necessarily enthusiastically identifying with their correlated gender to their sex, because..... no reasonable person likes gender roles.
and i get worried about people like my mom who might be encouraged to identify as nonbinary just because theyre gender non-conforming. the identity itself wouldnt be much of a problem except that it seems to me like its being pretty normalized for nonbinary people to just kind of....... experiment with medical transitioning to try to achieve some Ideal androgynous form that would be.... Very difficult to achieve. i worry about people not thinking medical transitioning is a big deal and just kind of.... disregarding all the potential health consequences, how powerful testosterone is as a hormone, and so on. with the permanent changes that come people THEN end up experiencing dysphoria and life is.... really pretty difficult for detransitioned women from what i can tell, and a lot of people talk about how theres been a spike of people detransitioning lately.
i think part of the problem is 1. transmed/truscum people harassing & bullying nondysphoric trans-identified people, so they feel the need to medically transition to Prove Themselves and 2. just in general the aforementioned idea that everyone has a gender identity. i think itd be very uncommon for people to “identify” as cis, and so you get this whole mess of people thinking they need an androgynous body to match their androgynous identity......... etc.
bonus: my mom crying on her birthday because she said she didnt think shed be able to ever see me as a guy. “nonbinary, maybe, but you dont act like a boy.” problem solved, i dont act like a guy, i act like a transguy!!
also again, need to reiterate that i cant relate to men. i can never Become Male, not with our current technology. i was not socialized as male and thats okay!! its okay because im just doing what i need to in order to be comfortable with my body and myself. i dont need to worry about my dating pool seeing me as a Real Man because they can see me fully as the transman i am and my relationship with being a natal woman and just, shit like that. ive gotten a lot more comfortable with even being called she when it does happen (by accident by family members). its not a swear word to me and ive let go of a lot of expectations i thought i had to meet with being uncomfortable talking about my female organs and my past as living as a woman etc etc. im not trying to Be anything anymore. im just trying to live as myself
some of my issues with the gender critical community just as a disclaimer:
i have a lot honestly and im not going to be able to name them all off the top of my head
makes sense that it would be, but i think the community is rampant with transphobia in the sense of flattening transpeople to the “transcult” stereotype where they just..... dont seem to think of us as individuals. they think we’re all genderists getting triggered by misgendering & demanding our pronouns. they think all of us are “delusional” about our natal sex. they think we’re all gender conforming. they dont take dysphoria seriously in general, ESPECIALLY males experiencing dysphoria (i get that your feminism doesnt have to be concerned with “men” but come on). misgendering is just disrespectful to me (idgaf about rapists, whatever use whatever pronouns you feel the need for those people.)
just in general some people dont get that trans people can still exist in a post-gender world? and you can still be critical of gender while respecting people’s pronouns? by their very nature i think the transmed, radfem, and especially gender critical communities are attractive to bullies so you have those flocking to it, and thats an issue but... yeah.
this answer has gone on long enough and im really sorry anon im sure you didnt sign up to read a 13 page essay. i just got lost in my thoughts and felt like i had a lot of explaining to do. i think my feelings are both simple and complicated so idk if i even really answered your questions, i hope i did..., ;;
#sorry in advance guys i literally never proofread#and i had family come over in the middle of me typing this so i lost my train of thought midway#i dont know where to put this but some last thoughts#the transpeople who insist they have nothing to do with their natal sex make us look like a fucking joke#like thats so easily exploitable by transphobic conservatives#and im tired of them having that leverage because theyre fucking idiots and dont deserve any sort of intellectual upperhand#gender theory has a lot of holes in it i think and its way too easy to poke at right now#also i think even more important than transmen its important for transwomen to acknowledge they arent the same as ciswomen#i know dysphorias a bitch i know it sucks i know it hurts#im trying not to let my privilege let me forget because i DO have a lot of privilege#but when we're talking about females as an oppressed social class#you dont neatly fit in & share that same experience#doesnt mean you dont have problems/face oppression! but its most likely because youre trans#not because of your identity#also my take on gender critical theory is that it just..... fits for me#i had that whole section about why its important to me#but i also dont really care that much about ppl still subscribing to gender theory#like you do you boo i just think it can be harmful sometimes#anyway#long post#radfem#gender critical#discourse#pine speaks
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for the "get to know" thing: what about either 1, 6, or 15? feel free to choose your own if if you'd prefer not to answer any of those! :D
1. What is your favorite ship to write?
okay so on the one hand this feels vaguely like a cop-out but technically the stuff I am writing for this is half-fanfiction because I didn’t invent the world or the plot or most of the characters but half-canon because they are acknowledged by the actual author as in-world documents, but goddamnit Iria Strell is going to goddamn marry Helena Lucan if it’s the last thing I do
6. Do any types of requests make you uncomfortable?
I’m just gonna assume this is about writing requests because in the real world, like, there are so many things I would never do, from, like, “eat certain foods” to “murder people” I wouldn’t even know where to start on that list. probably with the murder bit. life and dignity are hella important to me.
writing-wise, though, tbh I’ve never taken a request before? other than, like, helping friends write character sheets, but those have been for their stories, not anything I’d publish on my own. which is a bit funny now that I think about it considering how long I’ve been writing and how long I’ve been on tumblr. but I haven’t gotten them, which is nice, because I’m not sure if I would have written them, I write things that I am interested in when inspiration strikes and I have so many ideas in my head that I haven’t really needed or wanted more?
but to actually answer the question, I don’t think I’d be that comfortable writing explicit sex scenes of any sort. like, not even delving into rape/incest/pedophilia discourse because I think there are ways to handle horrific things while portraying them as horrific that can be educational or cathartic, but also I’m not so sure if I would ever want to personally be the person handling them. (I guess in general portraying something that I feel is deeply ethically wrong as “good” is something that I’d never want to write and is why ifmlam started becoming such a hangup the more and more I was doing historical research and just. dealing with the dichotomy of characters being good in the fiction based on people who did horrific things.)
but re explicit sex scenes, there is just a combination of utter apathy that I feel looking at sex as someone hella asexual and any plot or relationship thing that might happen I can just. have it happen non-explicitly. so why would I write something when fundamentally, all my writing has always been for me and that’s not something I care about. as well as I’ve worked/interacted with a summer camp for kids for nearly a decade? that includes a lot of writing and storytelling, and I’ve written a lot of things for it, it’s probably where at least half my writing experience has come from. which the fact that ifmlam is nearly 200k should tell you something. and while I think that our society should be a lot less stigmatic of sex and letting kids talk about and think about sex if they want to (especially what with the degree that violence is normalized so young and yet sex is Evil), I also really like the spaces that I interact with and that I form around me to be inclusive and safe for a wide range of people, esp younger teenagers like I’m used to working with and mentoring. so I’m really not interested personally in writing sex.
15. How would you describe your writing style?
I tend towards unreliable narrators (3rd person limited), intricate worldbuilding and oops I have the laws of physics written out whether or not the story ever needs it, plots driven by large casts of characters and messy intertangled character emotions, found family, and friendships being highly emphasized over anything romantic, although there are usually such messy romantic entanglements in there too. oh, and So Gay. there’s also a certain degree to which anything I ever do is going to be sci fi? or at least has the same worldbuilding elements and strategies I’d use for sci fi. right now there is also the hilarious aspect that two of the three things I’m working on (ifmlam, and trash novel; gay murder elf bachelorette being the third that isn’t well Book 2 of it was seers but that wasn’t my fault and besides, Book 4, the current book, is not) absolutely center around Seers. insert [I just think they’re really neat] gif. but I swear a bunch of other things I’ve written don’t!
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unaesthetic asks (anon edition)
i usually use a psd for asks to make them look nice and transparent and number them but tbh it’s just keeping me from answering asks quickly, having to shift layers around and stuff. so this is me literally cutting and pasting the text of some asks into a text post instead, sry.
if i did not answer yr thing here i lost/never got the ask, need a separate post to answer it (community lot anon), or worked myself into an anxious lather when i did not have an immediate response at the ready and fled into the woods to hide inside an old damp log and mutate slowly into a creature composed entirely of moss.
1) hey friend i think i can actually help with this one! slig did my poor lover for momma lisa, and has a few of my other skins linked to different body meshes in this tag here. @asimplevampire also did rehash for androgyny. those are the two i know off the top of my head but if anyone else knows any others pls reply to this post!
i don’t personally make showerproof skintones for body meshes because i a) am lazy and b) don’t usually take pics of my sims in the shower or naked in general so the occasional floating head just gives me a lil chortle when it does happen.
2) yis, it is the second to last one in this post by @magpieplayssims with a bunch of face masks piled on.
3) i use a personal edit of gunmod’s 3.1 A camera which alters the, like, central pivot axis so i can swing the camera underground into any basements i might be using. as a result, whenever i load the lot, it starts me off zoomed inside the floor, you just gotta zoom out with the scroll wheel to get above ground and it works normally from there. i haven’t figured out how to mitigate this while still being able to access underground rooms. which is why my edit never got its own post, but i did share it here.
4) nah, not really. i mean i have an outdated one at the back of my catalogue but my face is boring to me cuz i see it every day n stuff & i’m less and less interested in making human features now that custom sliders have let me go absolutely mad with power.
5) ye sorry i put that on my to-do list and promptly forgot about it cuz my brain seems to think that putting something on a list means it’s done forever now!!!! but now it’s actually done and i’m fixing the other links too.
6) yr phone is a craven liar and i will not stand for this libel. earlier today i was genuinely bewildered by a discussion about channing tatum cuz i thought his name was tatum channing. i sat there for minutes, convinced that there were two guys in hollywood one named channing tatum and the other named tatum channing and wondering if that ever got confusing for them.
7) u would be surprised, friend! my memory is a lawless wasteland but i do not end up chatting back and forth w/ many ppl b/c i am a seething pit of social anxiety. if we talked, like, more than twice, i probs remember u!
8) omg i was about to be like “nah i never made nosemasks for those” but that is a fucking lie of the highest caliber, i totally did make one (1) set and then forgot entirely about it. i will post them with the next batch of bodyshop content which should be Shortly (and if i don’t just yell @ me and i’ll just lazily put them on sfs and link them in a reply).
also thank u anon i am glad u like my content! :D
9) omg thank u so much anon that is so sweet of u to say!! truly i don’t feel like i have accomplished a whole lot beyond managing to snag @resurrection-failed but that is definitely the Best thing i could accomplish so i am 100% fine w/ that
10) oh ts4. i want to play it real bad but i have discovered that playing games that are still being updated and could break at any moment due to a new patch or ep gives me hives. esp when it’s sims games b/c those are held together exclusively w/ wishes and prayers as it is. they’re like the bottom panel of an expanding brain meme on spaghetti coding. at least when the game is Done there nothing else for EA to break (... right?). plus i only have base+pets and no money to throw at the other expansions so i could maybe download 1/10th of the cc available out there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
but i am excited to be late af to the party. lemme tell u. thank u for saying such nice things, anon!! i hope u have a good day also. like, lots of ‘em.
11) hey anon! it’s built into tumblr’s text editor. u type the text first, highlight it, and click on the fourth button that looks like a slouchy figure 8 to insert yr link. i’m not sure if it’s the same on mobile, tho, cuz the tumblr mobile app is self-elected torture.
12) i do not right now but i can make one. idk if it would interest you but i am also doing a big ol’ blend of the hq eyes and wifezaya’s favorite ephemera mist eyes and will make a default version of those too when they are done.
13) nah i am still using my v3 texture for straight hairs and for waves or natural hair i just use nouk’s originals. i’m old-fashioned and boring. if u need help w/ making yr own, tho, i would suggest checking out @furbyq’s tutorial here!
14) hey friend! i did have plans to do that, in that vague way where i have plans to do many things but most of the time end up taking a five-hour nap under a cat instead or watchin game grumps. luckily, @digitalangels is a doll and did it for me so consider this my official endorsement. i am pooklet and i approve this action.
15) hey anon. when did i call it that?? i think usually i just call it marriage or equal marriage if i need to specify (or gay marriage if i’m feelin Spicy cuz nonbinary-for-nonbinary is pretty gay). if i did say same-sex it was probs w/ implied air-quotes since that was the term du jour when we got married, which was 3+ years before the supreme court mandate, when it was only legal in some places and everyone was still ‘‘‘‘debating’’’’ the ‘‘‘‘issue’’’’ of queers gettin all married.
16) i been gatherin’ links for u anon but lemme look around a lil more. i will either give this its own post or add it as its own section in the resource post that is like .... five years overdue. meanwhile if anyone reading this has anything they either know is made for dark skin or works well universally or knows of a list like this that already exists, i would appreciate links!
17) I KNOW THAT’S YOU, AZAYA
#anonymous#pooklet replies#wcif#pazooka#pooklet irl#sims 2#ts2#also if u got cakebread wcifs plssss ask me on dreamwidth#in the post in question#with a link to the picture
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