#erin speaks
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Yesterday I made a post in which I shared that I believe Community is the answer to the struggles we currently face. I'm not really sure how to put that into action, but I want to try an experiment.
I am not the only person in need, but I have art and you have charities you are passionate about. If you purchase anything from my shop between now and the end of the month (April 2024), I will donate a portion of the order to the charity of your choosing.
To do this: leave a comment in the notes section of the order to tell me the amount you want donated and what charity you want it sent to. I will screenshot a confirmation of the donation and email it to you.
Let's do some good in the world.
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bitches on here see a character that’s been dead from the beginning and go crazy. im bitches.
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the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, finals are done, you know what that means!!
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when you want to answer asks, but you don’t have the energy for it…
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Hi all,
I had some stuff happen in my personal life over the last couple days, and I wanted to just ask for a favor.. I honestly would just want some good vibes, thoughts, prayers, whatever you believe in.. I’d appreciate it a lot. This is insanely tough & I can’t really put it into words.. Thank you..
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Normally I don’t think SNL is remotely interesting, funny, or entertaining but you’d be right if you thought I’d at least consider watching it with Pedro Pascal.
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tumblr glitched and took my blog header and i was like NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN THEY BETTER NOT HAVE
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tinker bell and terence are actually wlw and mlm solidarity and no one can tell me otherwise
#yes i’m watching the lost treasure#are they supposed to be love interests??#yes#do i care?#nope#disney fairies#erin speaks
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after. YEARS. i have rebranded. thesinisstronginthisone is dead. long live jasontoddsreanimatedcorpse!!!
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thinking of that nomura quote where he basically said he hated sora and like.... buddy.... if you start to hate the main character of the thing youve been working on for a few decades..... i think it’s time to hand over the reins to someone else
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here’s to seeing how many drafts i’m allowed to hoard before finally just switching back to a writeblr as my main again and actually reblogging them.
#erin speaks#i’m up to 160 and counting#which actually isn’t as many as i thought#also my bad for disappearing for a long while but i live
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I feel like I should be panicking more. My rent is due in one week, my landlord isn't friendly, and I have no one to ask for help. And yet? I have an eerie sense of calm about it.
I know the calm that happens when you are not actually calm but panicking and your body is helping you survive. This isn't that kind of fake calm. I am sleeping at night. I'm not snaping at my kids. I am *at peace.*
(Read more for musings about the economy, my spiritual mindset in the midst of it all, and some Mary Oliver poetry.)
Five years ago? I would be panicking and staying up late working long hours and burning myself out. But now? These days I'm working full days, then stepping back and cooking meals or working on projects for my kids. It feels more stable this time. I feel like I've matured.
I got a report in my email yesterday which showed that retail sales in January plunged 0.8% from December, far worse than the consensus forecast for a decline of just 0.2%, and the largest monthly loss since March 2023. On the one hand, it made me feel better that it's not just me. On the other hand, it sucks that lots of other people are struggling, as well.
Still, I make the time to meditate every morning. Still, I pull out my poetry books and take my life advice from Mary Oliver. In the poem One or Two Things she wrote:
One or two things are all you need
to travel over the blue pond, over the deep
roughage of trees and through the stiff
flowers of lightning--some deep
memory of pleasure, some cutting
knowledge of pain.
You don't need to have all the answers. You just need to put one step in front of the other.
Last year when I launched my wholesale business, I drummed up over 1000 leads. I'd pick a city and use google maps or yelp to search for gift shops, stationary stores, coffee shops... anywhere that I thought might want my work... and I took the time to write a personal note to each and every one of these businesses. This month I decided to check back in with them again, and so many of the businesses are now closed or their email addresses no longer work.
Having exhausted these leads, I sat at my computer yesterday with the knowledge that I needed to wait on people to get back to me, that the wholesale leads were out of my hands. And that I still did not have money to pay my landlord. Not once did I fear I would join the list of closed businesses. I did not despair.
Instead, I turned to my first joy. I went back to the sales history on my website and found my very first customers from back in 2016 when I launched my web shop. I emailed them, each of those first customers, sending personal emails. I did not ask them to buy anything. That wasn't what I needed. I asked how they were, what they have been up to, where their lives have taken them.
I was searching for that deep memory of pleasure, that cutting
knowledge of pain. One or two things is all we need, after all.
And I got one email back.
This woman was the first person to ever buy an art print in my online shop--a honeybee boy painting--and it is still hanging in her stepson's room, nearly 8 years later. She shared pictures of her new baby, and I shared the pictures with my kids. This woman had sent me many emails over the years, asking for life advice or encouraging me on a hard day. She shared that she didn't realize her emails had made such an impact on me.
Funny how none of us truly sees how impactful we are to those around us. Funny how life keeps going on, whether we worry about it or not.
In One or Two Things, Mary Oliver also wrote:
For years and years I struggled
just to love my life. And then
the butterfly
rose, weightless, in the wind.
"Don't love your life
too much," it said,
and vanished
into the world.
I want my character to be defined not by what I do when things are easy but by how I carry myself when things are hard. And I do believe things happen for a reason. Maybe the line between delusion and faith is very thin, but the universe has shown me time and again that it's had my back. I've been in worse scrapes and still came out ok.
If you've read this far and you want to help me get through the next week, you can buy something from my shop or support me on Patreon.
And if you've read this far but you are in a similar boat, don't fret. We will find our way through the fires. one. step. at. a. time.
#mary oliver#capitalism#queer artist#support queer artists#patreon artist#darling illustrations#erin speaks
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wow it was really tragic that twitter died the day before scarlet and violet drops, AND when chap 194 of kuro drops spoilers, anyways hi
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ik the clone wars stuff has been recognized and all but damn just hearing EWAN MCGREGOR say “quinlan was here?” literally had me on the floor sobbing
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#erin speaks#these are the ocs i’ve been thinking about lately#but feel free to list someone i didn’t mention!#i probably won’t be able to get around to this for some time btw
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i think i’m gonna wait until October starts to post season two. because that season takes place in October, also it gives me about three weeks to try and finish all of season two. so the last in between is gonna come out friday as usual. i’m already doing good with staying ahead, but i want to really make sure i’m ahead cause work makes me tired pretty much everyday.
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