Living among the Federation has made you woke Garak

Visual Language Things in Improbable Cause/The Die Is Cast that are driving me INSANE

the stuff they do with light and shadow in these episodes is just. someone went 'I know artists who use subtlety and they're all cowards' and they were so right for that

are you telling me... that this man is caught between light and dark in this moment and hasn't yet decided which side his soul is going to come down on in the end. hm. interesting. (especially cool that when the shadows of his face are lit up in the runabout at the end, that's when you see the damage underneath. he's partially made that choice and he's illuminated, but not by a comforting light yet, those are danger colours. odo and garak bonding on a day trip to hell; the episode)

I think this shot is ultimately my touchpoint for the visual language set up in this episode -- julian bashir standing there in 'wherever you have to go, come home to this afterwards' light as garak walks into the shadows (and towards tain). where does the light in his life come from currently? we may have a clue before us folks

(This one is literally just because his expression here makes my chest feel weird and aching. oof. I feel like this is one of the rare times he lets himself be really openly soft because he must know there's a decent chance he's not coming back)

aaaand what's the very first thing that greets him once he 'returns to the light' so to speak? :) little bit of a moral and emotional horror show in the middle there admittedly but thanks to odo he did come home and no one like. died or anything. well. many many people died but that honestly wasn't his fault or responsibility. we'll call it a victory

some really cool odo shots too in this ep. I love you constable this was so fucking extra for no reason

fun little detail: when the defiant starts shaking upon taking fire, Julian immediately puts his hand on Garak's shoulder -- the same way and on the same side as Garak did to Tain minutes before, when Odo had to fucking. knock him out to make him let go. (again: odo I love you. a direct and decisive thinker above all)

if there was a "father and son duo who don't know how to talk about their feelings" competition they would win every time. with their stupid little beverages

ds9 + ask a manager titles

kate clanchy, love / 3x20 / elizabeth lindsey rogers, questions about the father / 2x22 / 3x20 / li-young lee, descended from dreamers / 3x20 / terrence hayes, american sonnet for my past and future assassin / 5x14 / phoebe bridgers, motion sickness / 5x14 / amatullah bourdon, and my father’s love is nothing next to god’s will / 5x14 / a text from my friend / 5x14 / warsan shire, teaching my mother how to give birth / 5x14 / margaret atwood, we are hard / tag on a sharon olds poem / frank o’hara, lisztiana

[id: 12 gifs from season 3, episode 20 “improbable cause” from the tv series “star trek: deep space nine”, the gifs show elim garak, odo, and enabran tain abroad a romulan warbird.

1st gif: garak is shown from the shoulders up, and enabran from the back. garak says "actually, i blew up my shop."

2nd gif: camera cuts to odo as he reacts to garak speaking off camera, "it was a way of piquing the interest of the good constable."

3rd and 4th gif: camera cuts to enabran, who walks away from garak. enabran turns to face him "you blew up your own shop? you, my friend, are a true original. if you hadn't betrayed me, things would have been very different."

5th and 6th gif: camera cuts to show garak and odo in the same frame, standing side by side. garak walks a couple of steps towards enabran, leaving odo in the background. garak says, "i never betrayed you!" he stops in front of enabran and amends, "at least, not in my heart."

7th gif: camera cuts to show enabran from the front and the back of garak, enabran is looking at garak from the corner of his eyes as garak continues, "why do you think i'm here?"

8th and 9th gif: camera cuts to show garak and odo in the background once more, "i came because i thought the romulans were trying to kill you. i came here to save you." garak leans forwards towards enabran as he speaks.

10th gif, 11th gif, and 12th gif: camera cuts to enabran who is once again walking away from garak. he steps away, he stops by his desk. he turns to face garak and says, "i never thought i'd hear myself say this, garak," enabran steps behind his desk and takes a seat, "but i believe you. you can go." /end id]

did garak get paid? like, when he was in the order? did he get a paycheck or. was he doing it For Cardassia.

Hi Mr. Wolfe! Piggybacking off the question about Mirror Garak, and sorry if you've answered it before: was it always the plan to make Tain Garak's dad, or did that come up later when planning for the Dominion Camp arc? It definitely makes sense with how their relationship was written and portrayed up until that point, but I've also read fanfiction from the 90s that predates the dad reveal where they thought he was Garak's ex, and that doesn't seem COMPLETELY implausible with how they interact in Improbable Cause. Haha. Or, you know, just his mean boss.

When I created Enabran Tain, I 100% thought he might be Garak's father, and eventually the rest of the writing staff agreed.

Julian going to see Tain in the Wire is insane.

In the episode it's like "oh ok he did this thing." but as you learn more later in the series it's like "Wait a minute bitch you should be DEAD."

#Trektober Day 17, "Survival Training". Enabran Tain demonstrating A+ parenting as per usual.

Star Trek imagines: imagine grilling some meats with Enabran Tain

my hot take cardassian headcanon is that they aren’t reptiles (as someone who has owned and cared for reptiles).

1) they don’t get impaired by heat or cold! sure, it’s canon that they prefer warmer temperatures, but reptile sensitivity to temperature is far greater than what we see in canon.

2) they can breed with Bajorans without medical intervention— that means bajorans, who are definitely mammals, have more genetic proximity to Cardassians than humans have to Vulcans.

3) natima lang’s boobs. need i say more?

so my theory is that cardassians are mammals with scales, like pangolins.

Ever since watching The Wire for the first time, my brain has doggedly kept working away at the Especially the lies of it all, and specifically at how much the structure beneath the different stories Garak tells contributes to the overall meaning of what he’s trying to say. While the contradicting narratives of course expertly obscure the factual circumstances of his getting exiled, using them also allows him to tell aspects and facets of the emotional truth I don’t think he ever could have, if he’d simply told the actual story of what happened. (It’s very Varric-core of him honestly.)

The first story — the ‘oh, you think you know me?’ story — says I have done things that would sicken you if you knew any detail of it. It’s clearly meant to scare Bashir away so he’ll leave him to die shamefully in peace already lol. But it’s also one of his (probably much-needed lbr) little lessons to Julian that are so frequent in the beginning, given while Garak still has some hold on himself — “Don’t be so quick to forgive me if you don’t even know what I’ve done; what would you do if this really were the sum total of what I am?” (And Julian seems to surprise him by going ‘Well, exactly the same thing, because no matter who you are I am a doctor. But I sort of take your point.’)

The second story — the letting the orphans go story — says I have failed to smother my soul in its cradle when it was required of me, and I regret that more than anything I’ve done. To my ears this is the one most shot through with active self-loathing too, which is interesting. He’s officially lost the control he’s been clinging to and it’s about to get ugly. His TL;DR is ‘Sentiment is the greatest weakness of all’, even all the way back here. (Which is the one lesson Julian steadfastly refuses to learn, which I think in turn does some serious rearrangement of Garak’s soul over the course of the show haha. Get uno reversed into the process of loving and being loved without shame asshole.)  This is also where he builds up to admitting to having any sort of need for companionship or closeness at all and — so much worse — that Julian’s role in his life actually has fulfilled some of that need, and he’s DRIPPING with defensive venom over it b/c well I get it Garak vulnerability is scary it can take a person like that. 

(I also feel there’s something honest and forbidden in ‘Suddenly the whole exercise seemed utterly meaningless’. I suspect ‘actually… why the fuck are we even doing this???’ is not a welcome sentiment in an Obsidian Order water cooler environment, no matter what you’re saying it about lmao. The very first seeds of him deconstructing the things he’s been taught about Cardassia and his work might be hinted at here, though they of course take a looong time to come to any real fruition.)   

The third story — the ‘Elim was my best friend’ story — says hey, remember that thing you said once, about how sometimes, you have to be loyal to yourself before you can be loyal to anything else? Well. guess what. I couldn’t even be that lmao. It also furthers that thread of being divided from yourself, split, that having ‘Elim’ as a separate person around in all versions of the story brings in. He’s in control of himself again, but he essentially hands his life and soul over to Julian to decide what should be done with them. 

I’ve done horrible things and it finally caught up with me, I’m getting what I deserve → I let sentiment master me and the fact that I’m too weak to do what’s needed of me shames me more than the evil I’ve done → I fucked up. I betrayed myself and everything I held to, all for nothing, and I have no one to blame for it but myself. But it’s very nice that you’re here anyway, Doctor. (Wow. I didn’t realize quite how isolated and lonely that last one was before right now. The way Tain has shaped him really has just… locked him completely into himself, huh.) We can also see a movement through from a completely professional context in the first story, to an intensely interpersonal and internal context in the last one — even his fake stories spiral in towards intimacy, which I think is what he longs for here even if he can’t quite like. Touch that without the stories as a buffer yet, it’s clearly like touching a hot stove for him to interact with it too directly. 

And you know what I find incredibly interesting the whole way through? Even on his deathbed, where he’s dying from the thing Tain had put in his head, he’s protecting Tain. He puts all the blame for where he is on himself (‘My future was limitless, until I threw it away’), even if he has to employ a strange twisty logic where he’s split himself into two to do it. Don’t get me wrong, Garak has done horrific things all on his own haha, but it’s notable that he almost isolates Tain from that. ‘Tain was the Obsidian Order. Not even the Central Command dared challenge him. And I was his right hand.’ Tain in Garak’s stories is this infallible implacable weirdly distant figure, even now. Indeed, as will make a lot of sense with the revelations further down the line, more than anything it seems the gaze of an abused child desperate for recognition looking up at an idealized (if not in any way nurturing) parent.‘He was retired at that point; he couldn't protect me’, Garak says, as if what he’d need protection from in the first place isn’t Tain himself lmao, as if Tain had no active part in any of this. He never lets blame touch Tain at all. At this stage he would rather consider himself a broken flawed tool than accept that the hands that have wrought and wielded him have ever had any fault in them. AND in the middle of it all, with plausible deniability, on death’s door and knocking meekly to be let in before he must finish the mortifying ordeal of being known and test the even more daunting possibility of being loved, Garak at the same time manages to drop the breadcrumb trail of clues to make it possible for Julian to find Tain if he so chooses and gets in the ‘sons of Tain’ thing too for future dramatic irony purposes. Truly he is the Michelangelo of lying. Every falsehood a multifaceted masterpiece. Elim ‘achieving a state of intertextuality in real life is possible if you work hard and believe in yourself’ Garak. I love him so much. 

I think all of this is why “I forgive you. For whatever it is you did,” works so well, because it too works on a structural level. It’s such a deceptively multilayered response — it has the syntax of a joke, in a way, and it is kind of funny even under the circumstances, but delivered with such earnest warmth and fondness. It’s both recognition and acceptance (forgiveness!). It’s saying ‘I finally understand enough of what you’re trying to tell me beneath and through all that, in whatever way you’re capable of, I see you’ and ‘my answer hasn’t changed (bitch)’. The forgiveness Julian offers here is complete — on principle, and out of personal feeling and empathy (only one of which Garak deigns to respond to during the second story, where he calls it ‘smug Federation sympathy’, placing it more completely on the principle side than it probably is. ‘Dude you’re my friend please don’t just lie down and die in a completely avoidable way on me, who else is going to not only tolerate but actually gleefully enjoy me being annoying as fuck over lunch’ seems to be the subtext that’s a lot harder to acknowledge and invite in for both of them. And yet Tain seems perfectly clear on the fact that Julian is Garak’s friend, which, y’know. Must be fun living with the knowledge that Tain has eyes everywhere looming over you every day haha guess you’d just have to tune that out.) 

Most of all — ’Don’t give up on me now, Doctor’... and he didn’t! He didn’t. Augh. Ow.

I really don’t know what "I love you" means

I think it means "don’t leave me here alone”

― Neil Gaiman

thinking about Garak asking Tain to acknowledge him as his son and thinking about Julian calling Richard his architect, not his father