Heyyyy! I've loved all your fic recs so far but I was wondering if you had any where stiles is a struggling single dad or he has money problems and derek wants to help...?

Hi @webetterfly! @kevaaronday found these for you.

Bundle of Accidental Joy by tearsandholdme (21/21 | 69,901 | Mature | Sterek) Stiles is just trying to live a simple life. Have a job, pay his rent, and survive enough to eat his next meal. But then he's fired from his job, watches a mother abandon her baby, tries to stop her and picks the baby up, and now everyone thinks the baby is his. Even his very handsome and moody boss, Derek Hale, who forces the responsibility onto him at the cost of keeping his job or else. 

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Au of the 1956 film Bundle of Joy

Outrun The Stars by fairydustedtheory (9/9 | 56,151 | Mature  |Sterek) Derek never imagined what the universe had in store for him when he helped a little girl find her dad at the farmer's market.

featuring : worried Boyd and flirtatious Erica as Derek's best friends. Scott who has a bad habit of adopting people into his pack of friends. A lake where the magic in the stars aligns. and also a jar of fairy dust.

Baby and the Body by never_love_a_wild_thing (18/18 | 28,719 | Teen | Sterek) Stiles recreates models' Instagram photos with his baby. At a fashion show one day, he runs into the model who's pictures he uses most often (and most ironically). Somehow they work through the animosity and find a family.

Based on the Instagram @babyandthebody (which I do not own or have anything to do with, but it's super cute and you should take a peak if you like hot guys and/or babies, whether you read this fic or not)

little boy lost by crazyassmurderwall (1/1 | 14,862 | Teen | Sterek) If someone asked Stiles to write a parenting book, Stiles would say the best and most important rule is to love your kid. Just love the hell out of them, and make sure they know it. 

The second most important rule would be don’t turn your back on a curious three year old with supernatural speed.

Stiles is currently failing at the second rule. Badly.

i’ll stop the world and dance with you by im2old4thisotp (1/1 | 10,300 | Gen | Sterek) Stiles Stilinski is a widow and a single father, navigating the world the best he can with his 8-year-old daughter Emilie.

Parent's Night at her ballet school is the problem.

A rainbow tutu is the solution.

Dude, You’re Not Edward Cullen from Twilight by whentheywrite (1/1 | 2,192 | Gen | Sterek) Stiles is a tired!single dad with Twilight knowledge, Derek is the shirtless!hot dude who works out at the park, and their kids are too adorable to be real.

Thanks For Letting My Daughter Nom On Your Hand by Scotty1609 (1/1 | 1,469 | Gen | Sterek) Everyone was staring at him.

Scratch that, everyone was glaring at him.

Because the light of his life, the apple of his eye, his little pumpkin pie or cupcake or any other sweet thing he could compare his 2-year-old daughter to, was currently throwing the World’s Loudest Tantrum™.

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A.K.A., that one fic where Stiles is a Struggling Single Dad and Derek is the hot stranger who is great with kids?? Fluff and shenanigans ensue??

If there’s smoke there’s fire by trilliastra (11/ | 1,117 | Gen | Sterek) When Derek grabbed his shoulder once the fire was completely extinguished and guided him towards the firetruck, Jason thought he was safe. Derek is nice, he’s his godfather, he gave Jason his first beer, talked to him about safe sex after dad freaked out when Jason said he’d been watching porn since he was thirteen. Derek is cool.

Or he was because once they arrived at the station, he practically shoved Jason inside his car, saying he’d drive him home to help his dad kill him. Derek is not his favorite anymore.

I was tagged by the lovely @naranjapetrificada to share my Thoughts and Speculations for the timeline of OFMD S2, ie "eight predictions for eight episodes." Thank you, and sorry for the late response; I was facing The Horrors (derogatory). But now that the panic that is OFMD S2 being almost 3 weeks away is setting in, WHAT BETTER TIME TO RAMBLE ON AND ON ABOUT IT HSDJKS~

girlies (gn) there is honestly so much to account for. there are so many different elements that we've seen through promotional material and spoilers that i'm just like,,, how is this all going to Fit. BUT LET'S TRY OUR BEST SHALL WE LMAO-

((also hi hello this is ✨Jodi From the Future✨ coming in after typing up this entire thing, and realizing it was only supposed to be like,,, eight ideas for what's going to happen in the eight episodes. meanwhile my bitchass did a full blown prediction for what's going to go down timeline wise PFFF. BUT SURE YEAH THAT COUNTS AS ONLY EIGHT RIGHT? IT'S FINE,,,))

Episode 1. I think this is going to be more of an establishing episode. Establishing where the characters are, what they're up to, what challenges they're facing, etc etc. So, it'll likely focus on Stede's yearning, and Ed's heartbreak. I wouldn't be surprised if the "he's actually a good guy," the bottle kiss, and the wedding crash are all in this episode. And maybe it'll end off with the wedding topppersjfskfhsjklklbf,,,

Episode 2. An episode to build off of the motivations established in one, and also to move the characters a bit closer to each other. Maybe this is the episode where Stede tries to employ the help of the Red Flag Fleet, because they need a better mode of transportation to catch up with the Revenge. And maybe if that doesn't go too hot lol, maybe the storm will be towards the end of this episode to beach the Revenge somewhere. Though, I feel like that's quite a dramatic event, and would make more sense to occur a bit deeper in the season? But based on the rest of my thoughts/theories, it simply Does Not Fit SJKDS. So for now, I'm treating it as like, a divine intervention type beat where the crews are being beckoned closer together.

Episode 3. For SOME reason, be it just crossed fingies or the consideration of parallels or both, I have a feeling that Stede and Ed are going to reunite at the end of this episode. I think taking the episode release schedule into consideration also points to a reunion, because then we'd be left to sit with that for a week l m a o. I feel like we'll get to see all the intense emotions of them seeing each other for the first time in months, and their subsequent awe/reactions, before it abruptly cuts off as a cliffhanger. As for the actual BODY of the episode?? MAYBE the storm could also fit here in the middle somewhere, with the same sort of "the universe is wanting these people to be back together so lol STORM BE UPON YE."

Episode 4. The aftermath of the reunion. You get to see the proper reactions, ie Ed probably being dismissive and Stede trying to remain warm/enthusiastic. And then allllll the characterization that comes along with that, ie Stede's crew being like "I told you so" or Izzy being like "oh my FOOKIN god edward was throwing knives around and crying and making us crash weddings and now stede actually shows up and tHIS IS WHERE WE'RE AT???" So maybe, MAYBE, this is where Izzy steps in and tries to better things a bit by helping Stede, because he's Sick and Tired HSDJKLS. Like, this'll be the Fanfiction Episode™.

Episode 5. Wouldn't it be something if the party was in this episode to mirror the 5th episode in season 1 l m a o. And forgive me, because my theories towards Certain Events have seesawed ALL OVER THE PLACE HSDKJS. But hear me out hear me out. So episode 5 starts off as a sort of continuation from episode 4, and maybe Stede is trying to work himself up to better woo Ed. Like he's pulling out all the stops, which is why he's trying to train and better himself and do whatever he can.

But then MAYBE he has some sort of realization that like...Edward, his Ed, was so so excited to go to the Fancy Party Full of Hoity Toity People™. And was so so happy to dress up and be beautiful and feel himself. And so he decides to host a similar party on the Revenge for everyone, because not only would it be good for morale, but good for his beloved. So, they do, and everyone is Hype. Wee John gets to dress in drag, Roach gets to fire canons, etc etc. It's all so full of color and life and happiness again.

And, of course, maybe Ed and Stede have a Moment of some sort. I'm really really praying for a "Ed...May I have this dance?" type thing, followed by them having their first quiet and romantic moment of the season. And you can SEE some of Ed's walls coming down, even though he'd probably still be hesitant/tense. Maybe they even have an almost kiss type moment jUST LIKE IN THE PREVIOUS 5TH EPISODE. Or maybe the hhngfngmfngdmfd pearls,,,

...But then EVERYTHING CHANGED WHEN THE FIRE NATION ATTACKED SJDKSHKLDS. Because that ONE shot in the trailer where Wee John is shown in drag looks like a party, but also a party that was crashed by very unwelcome guests. So like, wouldn't it be something if the almost kiss moment was interrupted by some sort of enemy, and everything rapidly goes downhill.

Everyone gets bound, Stede gets tied to the mast, and...what if THIS is where Ed is thrown overboard. What if the enemy is someone who has it out for pirates, and very much has it out for Blackbeard in particular. So, they tie up Ed and throw him overboard in a murder/execution attempt, and Stede has to watch :))). Something something a parallel to Ed having to watch Stede get almost killed NUMEROUS times hskdjs. The turns have tabled.

And maybe there's a desperate moment between them right before Ed's thrown over. Maybe a desperate lock of their eyes, a desperate scream from Stede, a desperate declaration of feelings, even. And then the episode ends with Ed in the water.

Episode 6. The aftermath of episode 5 ofc. Stede and the crew have been captured, or maybe even just Stede has been captured. And Ed washes up on the beach alone.

I think this'll be where Ed sort of grounds himself and comes back into himself, because the gravity of the situation will hit him particularly hard. Like, he FELT things again. He felt BEAUTIFUL again. He felt DESIRED again. He felt like HIMSELF again. And didn't act upon it, and got separated from his sweetheart before he could. I wouldn't be surprised if he subsequently fights ghosts/demons of his own here, ie Hornigold or his father or individuals equivalent. So like, the barrel/clobbering shot is him fighting against his past type deal.

And then MEANWHILE, I think this is where Stede's going to get tortured. The darlings are both going to Go Through It in this episode.

AND, the more I look at that one shot of Ed in the woods with someone present with him, the more I'm like...IS that Wee John??? Or is that someone else? Because it would be something if the Revenge Crew was left alone, and only Stede was captured for his crimes against the Navy (murders and the escape from the academy). And then they somehow try and scramble/get help/link back up with the Red Fleet/find Ed themselves.

So, that one shot could have been them doing just that, and catching him up to speed after all that's happened. And maybe there's some sort of pivotal forgiveness moment/apology moment between Ed and the crew there too.

And then everyone's like...holy shit we need to go and KICK ASS ALL TOGETHER.

Episode 7. ✨The Battle Episode✨. Aka everyone kicking ass all together HSKDLS. Everyone uniting against a common enemy and battling it the hell out. There could be naval battles out at sea between the Red Flag Fleet, the Revenge, and the Navy, and then battles on foot on the black sand beach.

Something something wherever the enemy took Stede to torture him was also the same island Ed ended up on PFFFF. So, something something Stede somehow gets free, be it through his own devices or his crew, and they all start battling it out.

And ED is of course in the fray as well, especially pissed if he hears what they did to Stede.

Annnnd it leads to yet another reunion, ie them fighting to each other on the black sands. And I really, really, REALLY cannot express how badly I want them to fight to each other just to strongly kiss the moment they make it.

Annnnnndd then okay lol the CAVE. I'm thinking that one or both of them sustain injuries, or maybe just have to go and hide out somewhere since they're both VERY much wanted by the enemy. Something something them having to tend to each other and also having emotional conversations/talking it through, mixed in with more kisses.

Annnnnnnnnnd something something they all manage to fend off the enemy...*Buttons voice* FER NOW...

Episode 8. I think this episode would start off very unassuming. Like, the crews have won their battle, and go on to celebrate/recuperate. Maybe this is where they end up at Jackie's, and Ed gets to do those Soft Eyes, because he feels better and safe and IN LOVE. And so maybe things will be a bit easy-going and romantic to start off with.

Remember the friggin lighthouse. Something something "major romantic moment between two key characters." Something something WHAT IF ED AND STEDE HAVE A MAJOR ROMANTIC MOMENT IN THE LIGHTHOUSE HERE. would they be insane enough to do a proposal or something equivalent idk. i think i wouldn't make it to the other side if that was the case.

and if it's not a full proposal, even a deep declaration like stede going "i'll be by your side forever. if you'll have me" would just be hsfkshfskljkladhalkjhdfklgd.

But of course lol, OF COURSE, SILLY LITTLE PIRATE SHOW WILL PROBABLY END WITH SILLY LITTLE PIRATE PROBLEMS.

So, I would not be surprised if some SHIT goes down at the end of episode 8, maybe even leaving Ed and Stede separated again. Or at least putting them up against very very high stakes.

...

*GASPS FOR AIR* LMAO. I know I'm not even accounting for everything we've seen here. I know there are still elements like LUCIUS, the other couples, Anne and Mary, and some other little tidbits we've seen. But this is just what my brain Cooked. THIS IS WHERE WE ENDED UP SHDJKS.

And it'll be very very interesting to see what actually happens.

SEE Y'ALL IN LESS THAN A MONTH HSDJKS

My thoughts on The Kisses™

a OFMD/Good Omens crossover post

context: @msblueberrybi posted about how some people find the kisses from each show awkward and I responded from my main blog that I have at least 4 thoughts about it, to which msblueberrybi asked me to elaborate

this got long 😅 apparently I had more than 4 thoughts

Although people compare the two shows often, I find them extremely different in many ways so my thoughts will be separated by show. I've also watched OFMD more than GO so my thoughts will be more fleshed out for OFMD.

OFMD

So. First of all, I was so surprised when I found out people didn't like Ed and Stede's kiss. That kiss rocked my world. When I first saw that kiss, I started stimming and smiling and I rewatched it at least 5 times before finishing the episode. It was perfect to me.

I did notice it felt a bit "awkward" but that awkwardness felt like it came from the fact that Stede wasn't expecting the kiss, their mindsets at the time, and they were sitting beside each other on a rock.

Now I think Ed and Stede have kissed people before. Unless Calico Jack was completely lying (possible but I think unlikely), Ed and Jack had some sort of sexual relationship and I expect there was at least some sexy kissing involved.

Stede would have at least kissed Mary. They probably didn't kiss often, but as they had children together and both tried to make the marriage work in their own ways throughout their time, I imagine some uncomfortable kisses were exchanged in their marriage.

The beach kiss would have been the first time they kissed someone that they actually loved. WHICH brings me to my next thought, Stede hadn't accepted that he was in love with Ed yet and his guilt about his family was catching up with him. Ed makes Stede happy, but Stede hadn't accepted that he was even allowed to be happy. Stede gave up his whole life to be happy as a pirate and that got swept away, and his co-captain seems to have accepted defeat, his family thinks he's dead, and his found family is away at sea. Stede has a lot going on in his head when Ed finds him at the beach.

Then his co-captain softly declares that Stede makes Ed happy and kisses him just to be sure his meaning is felt.

Then there’s Ed. Ed says in episode 4 that he's tired of it all. He was so bored and sick of it all that when we first spend quality time with him as an audience, he's okay with dying because at least it's something new. That coupled with his PTSD and being trapped in these cycles of violence, he doesn't see a way out besides killing Stede and stealing his identity or dying himself. In episode 7, he declares that he's not the type to lay idle and he needs a new adventure. The loss of Izzy hit him hard, I think. He feels restless. Lucius calls him out on the fact that he likes Stede and that Stede likes him and if he doesn’t do something about it, he’ll die alone. Edward has been shown to be deeply lonely and yearning for closeness. He is devastated that he doesn’t have friends, he blames himself for it, and he has been shown to cling to closeness through his codependent relationship with Izzy (on full display in episode 10) and his relationship with Calico Jack. (and fair enough, the man’s been through significant trauma. I totally understand why he can’t disconnect from those relationships easily.)

Throughout the show, Ed sees another way in Stede, just as Stede sees another way within Ed. Ed's found a man who wants to do things in a gentler way but will also burn down a ship of assholes for him, and although Stede doesn't always understand the realities of being a pirate, he's shown he can handle himself on the sea in his own ways. (the lighthouse fuckery, burning down the party boat, knowing how to get stabbed, unhand me or bleed)

But in episode 8, he goes with Jack because he’s afraid Stede is “seeing him for who he is” and Edward thinks “who he is” is a monster. When they are reunited, Stede is so happy to see him and be with him, even in the face of death, it shifts something in their relationship, imo.

Once he finds a way to save Stede, he finally has a way out. He had been Blackbeard for so long. Them being somewhere relatively safe, where they are fed and clothed, is a new chance for Ed. He doesn’t have to worry about being mutinied, or Izzy’s opinions, or pirate culture (“we’re all at various stages of fucking each other over”) getting in the way. They don’t have appearances to keep up anymore or crews to manage. And to top it off, he's with Stede. Together. When Ed kisses Stede, he wants it to be clear that he is in love with him. The kiss is a film staple of romantic intention within the romcom/romance genre, so Ed kissing him was him unequivocally showing his love. But Ed is insecure. He doesn’t know 100% how Stede is feeling, so the kiss for Ed is a risk. He was probably nervous as all hell. Stede is the only person (in his mind, I have Further Thoughts about his possible connections with the Revenge crew but that’s for another post) who accepts him for who he is. Stede is his only friend, and that’s a heavy thing for Ed.

I think people are so used to Hollywood perfection in everything that seeing a more realistic first kiss, one that doesn't look as polished as they would expect, makes some people genuinely uncomfortable. They'll see these two middle aged men, who have never had a real friend or been in love with someone who sees them for who they are underneath their facades, kiss each other for the first time, and get uncomfortable with the awkwardness that those experiences could bring.

Good Omens

Now this kiss is different because it is a different genre, different story, different characters. I think the intention behind the kiss is similar from a character perspective. In part, Crowley wants to let Aziraphale know that what he is experiencing is love.

I think Crowley realized over the course of this season that(and how) he loves Aziraphale, and I think the show is making space for that to be another earthly pleasure that the two indulge in that Heaven and Hell don’t understand. There are no canon married couples or romantic partners in Heaven or Hell to my memory. (Gabriel and Beelzebub don’t count because they ran away). This could be another thing that Heaven or Hell could wield against them. Not just loving someone on the opposite side, but loving at all.

To rewind, Crowley is coming from a place of believing that Heaven cannot be changed. There is strong evidence in the show that Crowley has had his memory erased, and its unclear how much he has been able to recover. We know he remembers that he was only cast out for “asking a few questions” but we don’t know if he remembers where in the Holy Hierarchy he sat. I believe he was extremely high up, the Prince of Heaven that The Metatron mentions during Gabrial’s trial. I can’t imagine them telling us that for any other reason, and he was creating the Universe at the start of season 2 so he was obviously high up.

Aziraphale believes that he can fix it from the inside and he knows they can never outrun Heaven. They will always be on guard, and he thinks The Metatron is giving him a way out. I don’t know if Aziraphale actually trusts The Metatron, but Aziraphale is smart. He sees an opportunity, so he takes it.

During their fight, they both are trying to make the other see their side without actually explaining themselves. They are rushed, both of them are panicking, and they are talking past each other. Aziraphale wants to create a Heaven where they can be safe and happy, and yes, he has A Lot to unpack in regards to his attitudes towards angels and demons (Good Guys and Bad Guys). He also wants to avoid a war that will kill humanity, because isn’t that what they fought so hard to avoid in season 1?

Crowley knows Heaven can’t be fixed. (I tend to agree with him but I don’t blame Aziraphale for wanting to try, especially because I doubt they’ll be able to thwart Heaven without their time apart, but I digress) Crowley sees Aziraphale wanting to go to Heaven as a rejection of him and of them. Aziraphale sees Crowley not wanting to come with him the same way.

I think Crowley kissed Aziraphale in an act of desperation but also to ground his feelings in the Earthly realities of their lives. Our ineffable spouses spent much of their existence on Earth, falling in love with it and its inhabitants, they’ve sort culturally assimilated in ways. They both love doing some things “the human way”, Crowley drives his Bentley, they both eat food and drink, Aziraphale learns stage magic and language, and reads books.

Crowley has heard Aziraphale talk about books often, but I think Crowley watches more films than they show us. I may be extrapolating too much, but when Crowley wants to drive Nina and Maggie together, he uses a trope from popular romance movies that he says he saw in “a Richard Curtis film". I am not super educated on his movies, but I’m pretty sure Richard Curtis has made multiple movies where people get rained on and then kiss. I am choosing to believe that Crowley has watched more than one romance film and the big “kiss-to-show-your-love-grand-gesture-at-the-end” is very very common across the board. And he uses it to express feelings he can't seem to get across in a physical way.

This kiss would look terribly awkward, because not only is it coming from a place of anger and desperation, I am firmly of the opinion that neither of them have ever kissed anyone before. Iirc, there is no canon evidence of them having any sort of physical or romantic relationship with anyone, so this kiss would have been their first. Aziraphale is totally overwhelmed because he loves Crowley just as much as Crowley loves him, but he was no way expecting this sort of direct and jarring act. I don’t even think this kiss was fully about love so much as it was about Crowley’s need to express something he couldn’t find the words to express. (Not to mention the storytelling aspect of it, which is making us an an audience sad and uncomfortable so we can inhabit a similar emotional space as the characters are.)

Human life is messy and complicated and not always pleasant. The kiss was an extension of their human-like experiences and life on Earth. A life Crowley wanted to continue but Aziraphale knew was impossible to maintain, with Heaven and Hell keeping such a close watch on them.

I think there was more I could have said but I’ve been writing this post for like 5 hours and I think I’m done now. In short, both kisses were perfect for what they were showcasing within the characters journeys and I will not stand for slander of them thank you goodnight.

So. I am leaving my fic's big ass infodump here because A) having it in the comments is ugly and B) I am too busy and tired to try to make it hmtl pretty on the author notes or whatever. Plus, AO3’s character limit is ass.

Here's the fic: Tha koimithó ótan petháno.

Funnies

Akire: I trust that mister Delamer and mister Maitsu are doing well together :)

Damon: *screaming, traumatized*

Jean: *screaming, also traumatized*

Damon: Why tf are you calling me a kid I am 18

Jean:

Jean: I thought you were like 16

Jean: I am worried about you.

Damon: Hahaha.

Damon: Oh you're not joking?

Damon: HAHAHahaHAhA—

Scrapped content

In chapter 2 I forgot to add that Jean notices signs of Petechiae (Red dots on the skin/cheeks, usually present after crying) on Damon's face, which he points out in the narration and mentally ponders "maybe he is not holding on as well as we thought." I don't fucking KNOW how I did not add it because I remember writing it into the doc but I guess I accidentally deleted it???? What-fucking-ever man I am too tired to rewrite that scene. Also, this chapter would not work as well if Jean was a lot more aware about how badly Damon was holding on. Sooo, yeah. Good forethought past me question mark.

(Jean knows general medical stuff because of his job / he binge read about it after the Edward thing to avoid any other crewmates being ill / hurt. Kind of comes out of left field in this chapter sorry lol I kind of gave up mid-fic so the quality is kind of bad)

In the titanic argument I was planning for Damon to respond “The debate was so bad I regret doing it sober,” or something of the sort. To which Jean asks Holy Shit You Drink ? Ended up scrapped because Damon, even while sleep deprived, is way too secretive about his abuse personal life for his own good. Besides, the scene was getting too long.

Also, yes, he does drink (/hc). Not by own volition most of the time, but he does. Legal drinking age? What is that? The Maitsu family never heard of it. (Wolfgang would have a stroke if he knew nobody tell him)

I actually planned a bit where, when Damon bandages Jean's wound (it was planned to happen on the bed and not the floor btw), Jean explains the items™ to Damon after he points out the first aid kit being the debater's and Damon looks at the ship captain like he grew a third head. Hence, explanation.

It felt too forced and I ended up removing it. You probably can figure it out with the context I left (I HOPE), but here is the explanation just in case:

(This idea was based on a fic by the lovely Insqmniac. I don't remember the name rn, sorry ;; EDIT: Acting and Pretending!!! They deleted the work but it was very good!) Tozu left an item for all the killing game participants with deep emotional and / or medical significance in their room’s nightstands. Be it a family memento, a candy brand you liked as a kid, a perfume that isn't sold anymore, prescription pills or eye contacts: That kind of stuff. It is like an intimidation tactic or something??? Something to scare the participants with bcs of the amount of information they have about their personal lives. Or something. I don't know man, it is 4 pm I have not slept in like 30 hours I have reached a new plane of existence. It just sounds so creepy and it is definitely something Tozu would do. Maybe. I already had the canon divergence tag so might as well utilize it in a angst way while at it /shrug

Jean received Edward’s marine dog tag, Damon received a first aid kit (and he's the only person in the killing game that has first aid equipment, fun). You can probably imagine why Jean reacted like that to seeing Damon’s item and his subsequent realization. Let's just say that Maitsudad was not kind.

I had a very lovely idea very late into this fic of playing on the concept of Dragons and snakes being very similar (in mythology/religion, anyways) but I couldn't figure out a way to include it organically in this fic (considering that the themes/metaphors of the fic were already too wonk as is) so I MIGHT get another Jean & Damon fic just to get that symbolism out of my head???

Not likely. I feel horrible about my poor characterization of the dude in this fic already.

I butchered Jean's characterization so bad I made salami with it,,,

In the Damon panic attack from Jean’s POV, I had to scrap a small line where Jean notes that some of the nonsense Damon is spewing in his panic is actually Spanish. Another hc of mine, personally Damon looks like the kind of guy to throw Hispanic slang and insult all your family lineage in one breath (and yes I am biased because I am Hispanic how could you tell. But no, he is not Hispanic, it is actually kind of complicated to explain). I will probably delve into that hc and my general mental illness about the backstory I made up for the guy (yes I am very normal about Damon shut up) in another fic I have planned.

I had to scrap so many Damon lines y'all. He is just. So easy to write. This dude is like depressed 14 year old me trying to seem edgy and pretentious istg.

Info dumping

I don't think I am doing a fic of Jean alone to actually write this down so, here, have the whole Edward situation and my delusions about it: basically, back when Jean was just becoming a ship captain by himself (he probably started as a cadet/assistant of one of his relatives, who was the ship captain themselves. Jean then took the job from them later down the line, idk) at age 18ish, there was this regular crew he had. One of the people in said crew was Edward, an asshole with self-worth issues who made it everyone else's problem.

On one departure, they get news of a big-ass storm happening, and they are very much stuck in the middle of the sea trying to just survive it(tm). Luckily it was a cargo ship so the only people they had to look for were themselves, but still.

Edward decides to be the main man on everything to prove his worth, that he means something to the crew, that his life has meaning. Everyone was kind of ignoring Edward's self destructive behavior (not their issue, they said). Jean in turn decided to try to do something about it, so new into the position and wanting the best for his crew, so he went to talk to Edward so he hopefully realizes he is being a moron and stops playing the martyr.

Edward, as you can tell by this fic, does not heed Jean’s pleas to take care of himself and decides to spitefully double down on his self-destructiveness so hard he fell ass backwards and killed himself due to sleep deprivation and starvation the fucking idiot.

(His crew, who were in their late 20s to mid 50s and had already seen some shit™, took care of the corpse themselves. They didn't want Jean, as young as he was, to see the body. He saw it anyways, if only on passing. Which is also the reason why he was more inclined to believe Eva when seeing the dummy, but details)

Jean blames himself over pushing Edward “too hard” and causing his death. (While at the same time he feels like he could have done MORE to avoid his death back then, ain't guilt fun?) That's why he fears pushing Damon too much until there's nothing he can do but twist the debater's arm into actually resting after days of watching the younger consistently get worse. And, welp, we know how that ends.

At least he tried tho. 乁( •_• )ㄏ

Another thing. Was the buddy system actually chosen at random or was Damon right about it being rigged?

... Who knows! Lol

Logically speaking I think it would make more sense for it to either be rigged in the random pairings to get the most optimal-ish outcome (List of pairings in chapter 1 AAA), or like Akire actually bullshitted the random bit to try to get Damon to cooperate. But in the other hand it would be too fucking funny if it was actually made at random and Damon is just being unnecessarily hostile and antagonizing for no reason. So, I wrote it to be ambiguous! probably!! Go have your own interpretation idk!!

Other miscellaneous notes

Eva had the exact same "You are doing this to keep tabs on us" train of thought as Damon, but unlike the debater she decided to cooperate on the plan without whining about it. She and Ingrid have an amazing time playing Dos in their dorm.

Desmond is having a shit time because he wants to help Ulysses have a, at least, decent sleep schedule since they are partners. They have a similar ish arc to Damon and Jean funnily enough, except all the trauma and accidental PTSD triggering.

The Titanic bit is actually a thing that happened. A dude legit predicted the Titanic it is bonkers (I learned this thanks to 999 and thought it would be funny to add it because sleep deprived Damon likes to info dump (yes I am neurodivergent how could you tell) and Jean is the fucking Ultimate Ship Captain what better chance can you get?). Also yes ships back then were bonkers it is hilarious.

When Jean returns with food after this fic him and Damon sit down to explain to the latter all the things he missed in the class meetings so Damon is not running with fake facts again (and hopefully avoid other panic attacks about it in the future). They are forced to communicate about being partners and while they are both still very emotionally stunted because of their respective traumas they at least have a semi-honest conversation for once. Mostly because Damon is too tired and worn-down to be antagonistic.

The roommate system prooobably gets ruled out at the week two and a half(?) by a very frustrated Tozu, but by then he will need a very strong/kill or die motive to actually get a crack on the partner system itself (which is too broad a concept for him to actually rule out the game entirely).

(Realistically speaking he probably would deny the system from happening as quickly as it was brought up because he would notice it as a liability to his killing game plan, but then again. This is fic. I like my Tozu very stupid in fic)

Damon slowly starts reintegrating back into the group when he feels less like "Hi I just had 4 panic attacks in a week what is life at this point." Jean personally helps him in it.

Damon doesn't exactly remember what happened when he was triggered (bcs I hc him to forget trauma to cope, only vaguely remembering things when triggered / having intrusive thoughts). He remembers stabbing Jean because of a "overreaction" on his part and that's pretty much it. He feels like garbage about it but doesn't know how to apologize.

Thankfully, the wound was very minimal so nobody really noticed it after the bleeding stopped and Jean removed the bandages. It is their shared secret that nobody shall know about.

After chapter 1 Damon has a 10 minute panic attack, call himself cringe for it, and forces himself to go for the futon. You could hear him cursing out to all the gods throughout the living quarters. Like La Llorona but it is a dude swearing instead.

Jean brings Damon food. From things like granola bars to small portions of meals (to avoid any accidental refeeding syndrome), every time Jean goes out, he brings Damon something to eat. The others question it at first but Jean only gives vague explanations so they give up (they know, somewhat. But it is not their business so they don't push about it).

Damon has never had anyone offer comfort or food without a catch to it so he is very confused to the whole ordeal but too tired to actually complain (he still compulsively checks everything, afraid of poison, despite never being any).

after a bit he actually somewhat warms up to the ship captain !! Yaaay Damon getting comfort !!!! Finally !!!!!

Writing this my entire thought process of Damon's characterization was "abused stray cat that hisses / scratches you but all it wants is love and a stable living environment and once it has it and gets used to it, it is actually very cuddly." That's just him in a nutshell. Just add some asshole pretentious vibes into the mix & you're done

I made Edward up very late (writing session 8 out of 10) into chapter 2 because I needed a reason as to why Jean would physically force Damon to sleep. When I said the man is a plot device I meant it lol

Tozu had a Live Tozu Reaction to Jean's and Damon's fight thinking that fINAlLY SOMEONE IS DYING.. And then nobody did. Oop.

AND THEN Jean gets killed and Damon suffers horribly /jkjk

From the Book of Who Asked, I bring you

~Things I’m tired of in this fandom ~

1. Complaining about Anti’s.

Someone needs to be the heretical aunt at the family reunion and it’s me. Stop complaining about anti’s. Either ban them or fuck ‘em. Make up your mind and shut up about it. Yes, I’ve complained too, but if a blog is putting out more posts about anti’s than a ship, you’re not a ship blog. You’re a hate blog. Which makes you as bad as them. Let that sink in.

2. Complaining about Dacre’s Feet.

Millennials found out about fetishes fifteen years ago and proceeded to let NO ONE REST ever since. I’ve ranted about this before, but human beings are literally supposed to be barefoot. Shoes fuck up the muscles in your feet. The feet are stronger and healthiest when barefoot, with calluses. Actors who’ve done extensive physical training know this. You see it all the time in Dacre, Hugh Jackman, Chris Hemsworth, etc. etc. Ironically, they’re all Australian -> a place that is huge on outdoor activities.

All of you need to touch grass and soft dirt with your feet and calm the hell down. These men are right. You’re wrong. Go run around a baseball diamond barefoot and realize you’ve been wrong your whole life. Get dirty for god sake. You’ll be fine, I promise. The experience of running over a random pebble might build character too.

Preferring bare feet over shoes is normal and literally better for your health. Let the man live, good grief. If he had a fetish, he would be posting other people’s feet, not his own. And even so, foot fetishes are the most harmless fetish out there. Look up fisting gloves and maybe you’ll lighten up.

3. Numbers. Don’t. Matter.

Okay, yeah, being the #1 ship for years is pretty rad. It was the easiest defense against haters who went after a fictional character with more gusto than political elections.

And you know what? Numbers didn’t matter then, either.

Here’s a shout out to the rare-pair shippers and small fandom creators because you guys have your heads screwed on right. The point to all of this, is ~fun~. Not competition.

5 years from now, there’s going to be a ST renaissance and all of the teenage assholes are going to have the life experience to see this show entirely differently. Remember how everyone in the HP fandom went from mourning and uwu-ing over Snape, to utterly despising him and how he abused Harry? Yeah. That’s going to happen. How exciting.

4. Steddie vs Harringrove vs God

Look, even I’m tired to Edward Theodore Munson IV. His fandom is Too Much™. I’m a quiet fan, because I still enjoy watching him immensely. I hugely enjoy the Eddissy ship (I firmly believe that anyone against Eddissy is a misogynist against Chrissy, but that’s a separate rant). I enjoy Steddie, Harringroveson, & Mungrove because it’s another way of seeing Steve and Billy being soft and loved on. And it’s cool to see JQuinn go from a small role-nobody to being able to retire if he wanted to. That’s an actor’s dream.

But the difference between Billy/fandom and Eddie/fandom, is that they’re opposites of each other. Fandom makes Billy better. Fandom is making Eddie worse. And the hyper surge of fame, as much as it’s giving to JQuinn, is also super cruel and uncomfortable.

Let the train crash itself. Seek the artists, editors, writers, etc. who are chill, inclusive, and make delightful content. They’re worth finding. Fuck the rest.

5. TikTok

Get the hell off tiktok. Or watch Dylan B Hollis -> someone who actually matters.

Episode 10: "$25 Forbidden Pizza" (Show Notes)

listen along here

[00:00:47] Lilia’s fanart of G’s fic

[00:04:37] "Wingfic," also as defined by Fanlore

[00:04:50] Fansplaining's fanfiction trope survey

[00:07:28] The Twilight "Storytellers" films, including jalice origin story We've Met Before (starring the Totally Philadelphian LACMA lamps seen below:)

my favorite character is this LACMA security guard in the background

[00:07:59] Shannon and G in the Jalice Lamps™

[00:08:07] The famously Philadelphian "Rocky steps” G mentions

[00:08:17]

[00:08:29] Stay tuned for G’s dirty soda tiktok

[00:12:10] Shannon’s Midnight Sun summary:

Well. I’m tired. Edward does his Edward thing. He can’t touch her, he claims he loves her more than she loves him. He can’t fuck her cause he’ll, and I quote, “break her.” And godfor-fucking-bid he lets himself feel happiness without hating himself for daring to be so happy. This is what religious trauma does to people folks. Anyways, Edward creeps out all of his classmates and teachers, Jessica wants all the tea, Alice just wants to be allowed to talk to Bella, and Rosalie is currently working on her new book: 100 Ways To Eviscerate Your Brother, Mentally AND Physically. But at least we get two other things in this chapter that Edward hates: Bella’s green sweater, and eating pizza. Cheers brothers, I’ll drink to that!

[00:24:27] bet

[00:25:16] Dyspraxia

[00:37:00] What’s Edythe and Beau’s score on the Rice Purity Test?

[00:43:00] Rosacea

[00:45:15] Shannon is referencing this series of SNL skits (hi, Kristen Stewart!)

[00:47:46] Beau whenever Jeremy asks him a question

[00:52:11] American public school lunch is NOT THAT EXPENSIVE

[00:52:39] “It’s one slice of pizza, Michael”

[00:57:15] When you have to read “Edythe’s long eyes” for the third time

[01:03:23]

[01:20:47] Emmett in gym class, probably

[01:26:08] The original "Bella gets turned by pizza" tumblr post by @renegadepack

[01:28:11] We should probably have clarified that “I’m/you're ableist” is a running inside joke we employ whenever G opposes Lilia on any topic, not an actual declaration of bigotry

Thanks for listening along, friends!!

Hey darling, I hope you'll have amazing week! Could you write some sweet hc about Reddie where media are constantly calling Eddie Richie Tozier's F R I E N D and Richie is basically Tired Of Shit People Do Famous Comic™??

Missed this one somehow so I am SO SORRY for the late reply <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

You would think that when someone a.) walks down the street regularly holding your hand, b.) attends all of your comedy shows and kisses you good luck before every one, c.) drags you to the farmer's market every Saturday despite your 'incessant whining', but still promises you that you can get ice cream on the way home (that you then very romantically try to feed them with coos of "Come on, Eds, it's cute, this is supposed to be romantic!" even if they don't appreciate it like they should) and d.) lives with you that any outsiders looking in would probably not mistake you and that person for friends.

Richie is pretty sure that the outsiders that look in on them are fucking idiots.

Eddie swears he doesn't give a shit that the media insists on calling them 'good friends' (because what the fuck, Oprah and Gale are 'good friends', okay, he and Eddie have practically fucked in public before, 'good friends' don't do that!) but Richie is not so...forgiving. Half the time he considers getting up in front of a crowd and wearing a t-shirt that says "Property of Edward Kaspbrak" on the front with a picture of them making out on the back. It would really piss Eddie off, of course, which would just make it that much better. The other half of the time he just wants to scream. A lot. Eddie has to calm him down that half of the time, as only he can. Maybe it's because he spent so long pining after his best friend in the midst of, you know, fighting an evil monster bitch that liked to dress up like a fucking clown to kill kids, but Richie really, really can't stand the pictures of he and Eddie having lunch somewhere with the caption 'Comedian Richie Tozier enjoying a slice of pizza with buddy'. Buddy!?! They don't even put Eddie's name????

Eddie may not give a shit, but Richie does, and he's about ready to blow his fucking lid.

At dinner one night, Richie is in a particularly sulky mood, one that not even fancy chocolate cake can cure, though he does try. He's just imagining the headline tomorrow on some bullshit tabloid magazine that says he and his 'pal' had a lovely candlelit dinner together and oh what good chums they are. He is so deep down in his own self-pitying thoughts that he doesn't notice Eddie down on one knee until a very pointed cough draws his attention. And then, you know, there's a lot of crying and 'yes of course!'s and people stare but Richie couldn't give less of a damn.

Later that evening, sprawled out in bed and half-asleep, Richie feels Eddie kiss the top of his head and whisper, "It'll be really hard for them to call us 'friends' at our wedding, huh?"

And Richie finds that even if they do, he'll be too busy marrying the love of his life to give a fuck.

Emmett: is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?

Edward: does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

3 things I want to know about you:

1. Who is your favorite Twilight character?

2. Why are they your favorite character?

3. Is the Golden Onion solid gold or is it an onion that happens to be gold on the outside or something else?

1) mike newton is my fave character he is my poor little meow meow disaster trashcan and i love him with all my heart. angela is right up there with him too but she doesn’t give me brainworms like sir fig newton does ♡

2) mike is just so fucking hilarious i can’t help but love him skdbdjdj - ive spent so much time thinking about him over the years i know more about him than anyone else on this planet and one day i’ll actually post more of my fic and you will all get a chance to know the True Mike™ like i do. smeyer’s treatment of the human characters is boring and annoying and there’s so much more depth there than what she gave us. yes he’s a dumbass but he’s my dumbass and i love him so much skdhdjdjd

as for angela, she’s such an underrated character and like mike i’ve spent soooooo many years thinking so hard about her & have completely fleshed her out in ways that would send smeyer into the biggest tantrum ever akshdjdjd. angela is such a gentle soul and i love her so much, she was my favorite when i first read the books a bazillion years ago and she always will be. also yes i am extremely gay and christian serratos mf delivered. bless up. once again most of my hc for her etc will be revealed in the fic i’ve been working on for years and i’m too tired to type it all out here, but she’s extremely precious to me ♡

3) obviously the golden onion is made of layers upon layers pure gold and starlight and is the most precious/expensive/lavish thing in all of forks and is also sentient with mind control powers and is the one personally blocking all of bellas thoughts just to fuck with edward as much as possible.

sjdbdjdbdbd no but i love to think of mr molina desperately trying to figure out how to get his students to engage with his class more and waking up from a dream in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, Plagued By Visions, and just like manically spray painting an onion gold at 3am like “yes this is it. this is the answer to all my problems” before passing out again in all the fumes

A Very Descriptive Profile of Your Muse

Tagged by @lilbittymonster​ Thank you! 🌼

Tagging @st0nergh0ul​ @fiadhaisteach @ranaspkillnarieth @madangel19 @steamcaptain @the-desert-dancer @kenais-posts @madman-of-amargosa and anyone else who’d like to play. No pressure!

Oh dear... Do I use my most prolific character? Or do I use the one I really want to get started on? 🤔 How about my soon-to-be-written first and my most prolific under the cut? Yeah, that sounds good.

NAME.   Evelyn “Eve” Marion Trevelyan

AGE.   30-ish (haven’t decided exactly)

SPECIES.   Human

GENDER.   Female

ORIENTATION.   Bisexual 

INTERESTS.   Reading, history, swordplay, and horsemanship.

PROFESSION.   Warrior, (briefly) emissary, and Inquisitor. 

BODY TYPE.   Tall and muscular. (Dammit, Bioware, we need body-sliders.)

EYES.  Very light blue-grey with Fade green around the pupils. Formerly hazel blue. Slight squint and always with dark circles/bags. She’s Tired(tm), okay?

HAIR.   Ash-blonde, almost platinum. Formerly light brown. Kept short for practical reasons, but a rather unfortunate case of helmet-hair.

SKIN.   Extremely pale. Formerly more light brown/tanned (sienna? I headcanon all Free Marchers have darker skin tones compared to the southern peoples like Fereldans).

FACE.   Square-ish jaw, thick eyebrows, previously broken nose, high cheekbones, and somewhat full lips. More masculine than feminine. Aforementioned bags under her eyes, crow’s feet, and wrinkles around mouth. She did manage to keep her freckles after being “faded”.

HEIGHT.   6′

COMPANIONS.  All of the DA:I companions, but travels most often with Iron Bull, Dorian, Varric, and/or Solas. Has no major problems with any of the others, though Sera’s a bit too loud a times. Would rather not travel with Vivienne if she can help it and the feeling’s mutual; they’re both very strong-willed women with almost exact opposite viewpoints. 

ANTAGONISTS.   Coryphetits. The Chantry. Templars. Bears. So many bears. Why do the bears always come after her?

DRINKS.   Fresh, clean water is fine.

ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES ?   Doesn’t actually like alcohol, but will drink socially. Ale with Varric and Blackwall, wine with Cassandra and Dorian, and whatever Bull puts in front of her. That last one doesn’t often end well for her. And it never ends well when it’s with Sera.

SMOKES ?   Only when set on fire. Yes, it’s happened.

DRUGS ?   No thanks.

DRIVERS LICENSE ?   Not applicable, but is a very accomplished horse rider.

(No reason for it other than I just really like this picture of her.)

(I realize I don’t actually have that many shots of this character. Also, I’ve changed her up a bit over the years.)

NAME.   Honoria “Nora” Morris-Delaney

AGE.   Looks to be between 30 and 35 (I’ve forgotten exactly), but is actually around 240 years old. 

SPECIES.   Human

GENDER.   Female

ORIENTATION.   Bisexual

INTERESTS.   Tinkering, gardening, law, and reading.

PROFESSION.   Previously a lawyer (not her choice), now Minutemen General and resident fix-all.

BODY TYPE.   Tall, athletic, and fairly curvy due to having a baby.

EYES.  Very unusual and striking blue.

HAIR.   Red/auburn (dyed).

SKIN.   Sort of... rose beige? Not pale, but not very tanned.

FACE.   Very feminine, rounded, plucked eyebrows, slightly up-tipped nose, cupid’s bow mouth, and soft cheekbones. Could have been a model if she wanted, but she liked working with her hands more.

HEIGHT.   5′11″

COMPANIONS.  Nick Valentine (former lover, now just very good friend), Hancock (best friend), Preston Garvey (second-in-command, missed opportunity), and Edward Deegan (husband).

ANTAGONISTS.   The Brotherhood of Steel, specifically Maxson. Unfortunately wasn’t able to reason with the Institute, so had to eliminate it; she saved as many as she could. All the feckin’ BUGS.

DRINKS.   Nuka Cola, any flavor. Purified water.

ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES ?   Not enough to get drunk, but occasionally a beer or a shot bourbon. One very memorable night with vodka, nudge nudge wink wink.

SMOKES ?   No thanks.

DRUGS ?  Rad-X or Med-X when necessary. Very rarely berry Mentats. She doesn’t like being out of her head.

DRIVERS LICENSE ?  Pre-war, yes. The car was actually hers.

I hear a lot of smeyer is not a feminist as she claims stuff, but honestly, I know women with PhDs or women running companies, who have been in toxic codependent relationships like edward and bella. I know both men and women who had their mental health ruined and their personality grow toxic by getting sucked into unbalanced attachments with emotionally unavailable people like Jacob did. Hell, I have been in fair share of toxic relationships and I used to spit on twilight and bella as a teen. We live in a patriarchy and these power dynamics can sneak up on anyone. I mean, look at Bella, starts out writing essays on feminism, but can't put it into practice, mainly because of her disorganized upbringing and her environment. She's a product of those things no matter what theoritical concepts she subscribes to. That's a very real thing. You know why? Writing essays on feminism is easy. Examining your own psyche and issues and behavioral patterns is HARD! And this story is so self aware of its toxicity that even someone with zero reading comprehension would be able to grasp they are reading a toxic romance. Stalking, sexual assault, issues, insanity, and controlling toxic behavior are labelled as what they are in this story and the narrative or some character points that out from time to time. Unlike romcoms where characters stalk, and assault, and run across the town in the midst of a mental breakdown of manic episode, and that's painted by the narrative as "romantic wish fulfillment" because there was pretty pop music playing in the background. Not to mention, how there is a creepy atmosphere in the story created with the juxtaposition of the teenage epic romance high and all the experienced characters like charlie, renee, rosalie, esme, and jasper telling very different stories of their early relationships. Is this story "feminist" in the Hollywood Strong Female Character™ way where an effortlessly sexy woman, who is great with punching or swords or has every single superpower under the sun, and gets into fights with perfect hair and makeup and even heels, while scoffing at feminity and being "one of the guys" cool girl? No it's not feminist like that. But does it capture a formative aspect of many women's toxic experiences when they start dating and find themselves repeating deeply ingrained toxic patterns and make bad choices that go against everything they believe in, bringing shame and regret in the future for not being strong enough? Yes! These ugly aspects of feminity in a patriarchal world need to be explored in the safe space of fiction which isn't meant just for wish fulfillment. I used to be so self righteous in my hate of twilight, but honestly, now that I've read it I can see why so many teenage girls and women cling to it for comfort. There's something dark and messed up here that makes you feel heard. Makes you feel seen. Understood. It makes you feel deeply and evokes a visceral reaction whether you love it, hate it, or have a love-hate relationship with it. The why of that reaction is what should elicit effort for internal exploration. And I wish women didn't have to constantly keep justifying their enjoyment of messy media with "I like this but I'm a real feminist so I'll write several essays on why smeyer is problematic" disclaimers. Do you really have to? Aren't you tired of constantly justifying your taste for being stupid and girly and even problematic? Don't you want to just enjoy things with the same confidence with which men enjoy thir problematic trash that make them feel seen in terms of the toxic aspects of masculinity?

RELATIONSHIP WISHLIST / ACCEPTING.

🌦 (slight antagonist to close ally) 🌵 (bro roy will die for ed) ❌ (wrath!roy au possibilities, also just conflict of ideologies at Times) / @mustangif

hey lewis! usin’ a cos ed just for you because i watched it last night it was a mistake. the budget really went into edward’s entire wardrobe oiahogihweoehe and hair and face huh? i love how all the talented roys i see all are like ‘yeah this lil golden-hearted goblin’ but also ‘if you touch this tiny alchemist boy i will kill you’ and i just think that’s neat (TM). definitely there is some antagonist themes there with them. i mean roy even says in the manga ‘you still don’t like me huh’. so it isn’t some instant friendship and it’s more a you really have to read between the lines between him and edward. there’s a lot to unpack there. and yeah absolutely on ideology. edward, who you’d think would be prepared to kill, is so keen on mercy, like envy, and compassion and yet with his nature you don’t think you’re going to get that. 

edward, absolutely appalled by any kind of killing whereas roy knows that it is an unavoidable thing in their world and times, and edward in canon / manga really sticks with that. in 03...well he killed greed and sloth so he’s quite a bit different .... and i’ve actually seen some parallels of how ed, who already is quite a bit like roy imho, both arrogant but also just like ‘hi can i forget about myself tonight’ kind of people just... becoming jaded and tired too early and some people think he’s becoming like him by cos which...upsets me a lot as much as i care roy at that point let’s be honest, edward is humpty dumpty and an icarus who fell twice and won’t ever get up again imho. because the world did it in for them / the things they’ve done be it ishval or the ultimate alchemical taboo born of grief and maybe even a slight inkling of an icarus complex that whispers you could bring her back, she isn’t gone - you have the tools. ultimately it was borne of grief but a genius mind also dares to challenge god’s domain so uh -- yeah ed really led al into that huh? it’s both on them but i still feel ed is like. ‘nah this is my bad as the big brother i done screwed up ‘ .

but yeah me being sarcastic: let’s have 03 ed add roy to his kill count--- i mean what. honestly can you imagine how terrifying these two seriously facing off would be? obviously roy has the experience so ed would barely survive in my opinion. and ed’s just a feral genius all rounder who comes up with these INSANE checkmates. both willing to do what has to be done to achieve their goals but in such different ways. canon and 03 ed are so different and yet still have that same sacrificing nature / hidden benevolent or blatant side for their loved ones so i do think they can vibe on being genuinely wholesome people ...... and also again ideology conflict and viewpoints on politics, war, killing. on the ends justify the means or in ed’s case, it’s the journey and the pacing and not losing himself in the bed of thorns and remembering everything he’s done and never forgetting. hope i’m not making assumptions, you write a fantastic roy and you know this! but yeah i’m down for all of this. like i’m telling everyone, you honestly just have to im / dms me if you guys are comfortable and i’ll literally go at it.

thanks for sending this in lewis. as you know by all my likes and comments i think we vibe pretty well in our sphere of your roy portrayal, and while i am slow on things i do look forward to seeing how you spin a tale of roy mustang! just keep having fun. thanks for sending it! and never hesitate to  contact me if you want to write because i’m always down!

Traintober: “Early Days” (BoCo, Edward, Sidney Heaver)

Okay, given I only had a day to execute, I didn’t have the time to make this short. 1000 words almost exactly. 

For BoCo’s early days, I wanted to do something with the info that (attn: @princeluckybug13​: Torturing Your Characters™ Memo) many of the late 50s/early 60s B.R. diesel classes were left to idle all the time. Usually this was because the B.R. wasn’t replacing their batteries as often as they were supposed to, in order to cut costs. Then, of course, if the motor was faulty (like the Class 28’s), you would only have more incentive to not chance it failing to turn back over when it was next needed. So the drivers tended to leave the diesels running 24/7. This obviously led to even worse motor problems than they’d had to begin with, and certainly cost the B.R. more in the long run.   

And, of course, if you assume the diesels are sentient… well. That's just plain abusive. (Might help explain why some of them are such unpleasant jerkasses, too.) 

5702, who has only been on Sodor two days, and is not yet ‘BoCo’, is a bundle of nerves, not least of all because his motor failed approximately twenty-five minutes into his trial (sigh. but of course), and he’s only just returned from the Works a few hours ago, and because he takes engine etiquette very seriously, and it’s his first night shedding at Wellsworth, and he didn’t even have a chance to ask the resident engine’s permission to enter. Vapors! 

Okay, I would gently mock BoCo some more, but he does have a bit of a massive social liability…  

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- 

A light run and a mere half-day properly at work had not left 5702 nearly tired enough to fight the idle buzz of his motor. He decided it would be cowardly to pretend to be asleep when Edward returned to the shed after his late train, and so he didn't. The steam engine, as the cleaners had promised, was not offended by the new diesel’s presence. In fact, although tired, he seemed pleased of a chance to catch up with 5702… who tried to relax, despite wondering if this were an interrogation of sorts, and wishing for the inevitable to come and be done with. But, occupied with their chat, Edward did not seem to properly notice 5702’s motor until after his crew had finished the lengthy process of tending to him for the night. 

It was at that point, as the lights dimmed and they settled down to sleep, that Edward noticed the inescapable rumbling.   

“Are you going to—er—run all night?”   

5702 opened one cool eye. “You’ll get used to it. Much as it would be rude of me, to take any notice of how you steam engines hiss and cackle at all hours.”   

“Ah. Right. Well, good night.”   

5702 had already closed his eyes and did not respond.   

It was not a good night. 5702 could doze only fitfully, in and out and in again, and he couldn’t hardly blame his shedmate, whose banking fire and boiler he very seldom could hear over his own idling motor. He always took a while to feel comfortable in a new place, anyway, and it was still profoundly strange and lonely to be anywhere without a single one of his brothers.  

He seldom opened his eyes, precisely because he was aware that the other engine was having no better luck sleeping. Edward too often kept his eyes closed, but this might have been more out of politeness than anything, and by what must have been around three or four a.m. he seemed too exhausted to make any such effort, instead gazing dully and patiently at nothing.   

5702 was also too weary to keep up a defensive front. After all, the old steam engine had been nothing but friendly to him since he had arrived, and he was not snapping or grumbling about the disturbance now, as many others had done over his few years of life. So he gave up and opened his own eyes. “I am sorry,” he said stiffly, “to keep you awake.”   

“Mmm.” Edward blinked, and found the slightest of sleepy smiles. “As you say, I’ll get used to it. I suppose on the mainland it’s generally noisier than it is here. But…” He frowned, and considered 5702 through the darkness. “Can you sleep, when you’re idling like that?”   

“Normally I can doze. Just not tonight. I slept a lot at the Works.”   

“But today you’ve worked, and need a proper rest. When do they turn your motor off?”   

“They can’t. It’s faulty. If they turn it off, there’s no guarantee it will start again when I’m next wanted.” 

Edward blinked again, looking considerably more awake. “If it fails, they’ll just have to mend it, won’t they? You need to sleep sometime.”   

“We get on just fine.” 5702 felt himself blushing against his will, because as soon as he said it he knew how untrue the words were. They did not get on just fine. He grew archer and colder still. “Thank you for your input, but I was unaware that you were a diesel engineer.”   

Even 5702 thought he’d been unnecessarily icy, but the other locomotive only chuckled quietly, and subsided.   

They didn’t speak again, and both did manage to doze, a little, right at the hour of dawn, and even quite ignored the firelighter. Then 5702’s drivers arrived. 5702 was a little dismayed to find that Edward’s fireman arrived at the same time, and to remember that, although 5702 started his work day earlier, Edward would always wake right as he was leaving, needing the extra time to be prepared. The diesel had secretly taken a little comfort in knowing that the older engine would have a couple hours of peace and quiet without him.

“I, erm.” 5702 coughed slightly. “I hope you’ll be all right today.”   

Sleepy though he had been, Edward saw his keen embarrassment, and scoffed with some spirit. “Don’t be absurd! Young diesel, are you asking to be regaled with accounts of the shifts that we kept during the war? I saw both, you know, and you are a captive audience. Never you mind about me.”   

5702 felt better at the flippancy, and, truth be told, better still when Edward’s fireman snorted. “And according to your performance records, old boy, you didn’t exactly set the rails on fire during either.”   

Edward looked overly resigned. “Right. Thank you, fireman.”   

The fireman winked at both engines, and joked aside to 5702, “Unfortunately for him, I do up one of the best fires on the island, and he can’t help but love me.”   

His engine rolled his eyes but was unable to help smiling as he resolutely ignored this. “When you get to Brendam, will you stop by and see to Lillibet, please?”   

“Certainly,” said 5702. Then he added, with his typical realism, “Assuming I make it.”   

He really quite appreciated that they only chuckled idly, and did not shoot him any looks of pity or concern.   

He would have been less appreciative if he’d heard their conversation, once he rumbled out and about. But he did not. He was pleased to be on the rails so early, in such a nice place as this, with a full slate of jobs for the day… prepared, for an hour at least, to disregard the unlikelihood of him completing them all without incident, and to simply enjoy the sensation of feeling useful. Then, too, he liked being entrusted with the personal errand, and the way he’d been easily welcomed into the shed banter.   

None of this could undo the funny strange ache of homesickness, but it at least began to fill some of the empty spaces inside of him.

 lol believe me or not but I swear I just dreamed of a modern AU Edward as a school teacher with the university-sweater aesthetic but punk and his students were 6th graders or something. The kids were tired and didn’t want to study so he shrugged off the actual lesson and bought them sodas and made them play a game on the board instead (don’t remember which. I think it was some improvised poetry or something. Don’t ask why my 21yo ass was with 6th graders, but I was procrastinating the game and doodling a goth girl instead so I have no idea what the game was really about lol). He gave absolutly 0 fuck about the kids who were sleeping or talking or doing anything else instead. It was pure anarchy lol.

 One of the kid said something homophobic at some point and Edward just calmly said “In this house we’re LGBTQ+ friendly” and explained why homophobia is problematic which got chaotic and became a rant about social construction and how parents influence their kids. Before the class was over he gave back their previous test copies to the kids and one of them had a bad grade and started crying and said ‘Sir you hurted my feelings” and he immediatly went next to her to comfort her and cheer her up because man can brood all he wants he can’t resist kids. Especially crying kids. I think he gave her a piece of chocolate cake that was here for some reason, I guess. The dream cut not long after that Mom Edward™ scene. Oh. And he was a arachnophobic vampire. Yeah, you read that just fine.

 That’s it. That’s the dream. Thought I’d share some of the wtf inside of my brain with you guys so y’all are haunted with arachnophobic-SJW-Vampire-Edward-in-sweater image. You’re welcome for the curse lol