What I really want in the d&d movie is random references to modern life that either everyone ignores or one of them goes: what's a bus? which makes the other character glare but not explain.
Still in awe of how well the D&D movie mimicked the feeling of D&D without doing anything as tediously literal as a "sitting around the table" framing device. The way some characters have names that sound like names a DM improvised on the spot, the sudden appearance and disappearance of a overpowered DM NPC for a single dungeon, the way they used the fact that characters can plausibly just mess up for no clear reason to escalate action scenes...that was cinema
A man and a woman platonically raising a child together and not falling in love has to be the biggest plotwist in the Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves movie AND my favorite part
the dungeons and dragons movie is good bc some silly gay person WOULD make a bard named EDGING and go “noooo it’s pronounced ED-GIN” and their depressed gay little friend would go “this is my sorcerer. he’s cringefail and his name is simon”, and some fucking dm would go “this is my super mega paladin npc xenk with a sad backstory who fights good that i made to help you guys not die in the next encounter” and everyone at the table goes “ok but can i fuck him though”
The thing about the D&D movie which is absolutely genius is that the game mechanics basically insulate them against any of the most frustratingly fun sucking movie criticisms. “But why were the guards looking the wrong way?” Failed their perception check. “Why did the spell stop RIGHT before they would have died” Dropped concentration. It gets to be dumb and fun anyone that TRIES to be the plot hole police gets ever increasingly obscure D&D rulebooks thrown down in front of them and called a fake nerd. There's NOTHING those type of guys hate more than being a fake nerd. This movie is untouchable.
I love you goofy looking aarakocra, dragonborn and tabaxi. I love you hiring bridgerton guy just to be hot and untouchable and having his first major scene staged so that one tiddy is always artfully exposed. I love you well choreographed fight scenes and a beautifully chaotic representation of six seconds of combat. I love you compelling plot point of attunement requiring a successful role with your spellcasting modifier. I love you solving puzzles by shoving round p(ainting)egs into square holes. I love you forcing Justice Smith to do a British accent for no reason. I love you level 20 NPCs who can’t help the party against the big bad for ambiguous reasons. I love you bigby’s hand slap fights. I love you Nat 20s on potato attacks. I love you owlbears, mimics and gelatinous cubes. I love you dragons, I love you dungeons. I love you dnd movies that love dnd.
hello new D&D movie fans who are writing fic! we’re glad you’re here. as a semi experienced D&D player I feel the need to make a PSA. to wit: while they may appear to be viable options, the Grease spell, and by extension the Oil of Slipperiness, generate enough grease to cover ten square feet or an entire humanoid. this is too much grease! unmanageable and unsexy quantities of grease. “can’t get anything done because we’re sliding around too much” quantities of grease. please opt for mundane lubricants. thank you for your time