#drew from a ton of different movies here but John did end up looking like No-Name though whoops | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mattzerella-sticks · 4 years

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Fixing It (a Dean/Cas 15x08 inspired coda)

Dean Winchester walked a long & difficult road. House burning down when he was 4, constantly being on the move until his father lost a fight with demons at the age of 25. Reunited with his mother only to lose her again. Have a son only to lose him, too. Of all the shadows that have crossed his path, he thought one of the main sources of light was his husband Castiel.

But he had to ruin that, too.

Can he ever have that shine again? Or are there things that are too good for him to hold? Will they mend what was broken?

“We met in an office like this, actually… or, outside of one.”

“Really? Why don’t you expand on that Dean.”

Dean shifts, glancing over at where Cas waits perched on the other end of the crimson couch. It drew Dean’s attention upon walking in, the sweat around his collar doubling imagining how hot it must be to sit on it. Like roasting over a pit. The image grew stronger when he glimpsed how the therapist’s hair matched her furniture.

“Well,” he squeezes his wrist, staring at his feet, “I was going to this place for a few weeks now as part of… recovery, for this thing that happened to me.” Nails bite at his skin while skimming the surface of his memory pool. “All the physical scars healed, but there was still something not clicking up in the head department -”

“Dean,” she says, halting his descent into the deep end, “You don’t have to dredge up past trauma. I didn’t ask for that. I asked about when you first met Castiel.”

His vision, once blurry, now refocuses on the rivulets of blood trickling from where his nails broke skin. “Right,” Dean coughs, “Yeah… yeah, thanks… anyway -”

Five minutes. Traffic on the highway made him late by five minutes. Dean hurried out of his car and over to the small storefront Dr. Richings rented. Not the most promising places for help in navigating his mental health, nestled between a hair salon and a Pizza Hut, but it accepted his very threadbare insurance. Plus, after getting to know him, Richings earned his respect and vice versa.

Except, with now six minutes past when he should have been there, Dean threw all his hard work away. “If you’re going to be late,” John’s voice in his head echoed, “why bother showing up at all.”

He paused, hand on the door. Breathing deeply, Dean mumbled, “Because if it matters… you have to show up.” The bile simmers and sinks into the bog it rose from, beaten back by one of the mantras Richings taught him. Waiting another beat to calm his rapid heartbeat and remind himself the other man won’t be too mad, Dean finally entered.

“Look, I know what Dr. Richings said but-but I don’t think it’s enough to warrant giving away my appointment!”

Someone with a voice like scuffed leather blocked the path to Tessa’s desk. Broad shoulders, either from actual muscles or extra padding given by the rumpled trench coat. Dark hair sticking up like he stuck a finger in an electrical socket seconds before.

“Sorry Mr. Shurley,” Tessa said, “but as I’ve been trying to tell you, we didn’t give your spot away. The doctor decided last time that you needed to have your session another day.”

“But… but it’s me !” Shurley guy continued, “Dr. Richings always reserves Thursday appointments for me at this time! I mean…” he gestures to the empty row of seats shoved against the wall, “there’s no one else here! No one comes in on Thursdays!”

“Be that as it may, this Thursday is different . The doctor is backed up and has been running over with each session as it is. He’s almost done with his one o’clock, and then he’ll see -”

“Me,” Shurley demanded, “Come on, who else could it be?”

Dean cleared his throat, finally making his presence known. Shurley whirls around, eyes wide at the interruption. Cheeks twinged pink from being caught in the act. Adorable if he didn’t see how much of an asshole he was being. As it was, Dean tamped down the urge to gasp at how the blue of his eyes contrasted with his heated, tanned skin. “Actually,” he said, “Dr. Richings is supposed to be with me for the next hour.” Glancing behind the other man, he nodded at Tessa. “Hey.”

“Dean,” she sighed, smiling, “I was wondering where you were?”

“Traffic.”

Tessa nodded, shuffling papers around on her desk. “Like I was saying, Richings should be finishing up any moment. You can sit anywhere to wait…”

He winked, “Thanks.” Dean smirked, making sure to connect with Shurley’s gaze before striding towards the chairs. Collapsing at the one closest to the magazine pile on a nearby end table, he picked a random gossip rag and began reading.

A shadow fell overhead, blocking the pictures of Michael Jackson’s doctor as he was hounded by paparazzi. “Dude,” he scoffed, squirming under Shurley’s intense stare, “ever heard of personal space.” Their knees knocked together, denim brushing against paper-thin slacks.

“Give me your appointment.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’ll pay you,” Castiel said, grabbing his wallet, “A hundred dollars. Two hundred. Please .”

“Look,” he said, slapping the magazine closed onto his lap. “I get you’ve got your problems, you’re in therapy. But so am I. Understand that I need this just as much as you, maybe more so?”

Owlishly, Shurly blinked at him. “Three hundred?”

“Jesus!” Dean barked, “No amount of money is going to get me to move.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“...What’s that supposed to mean?”

“From my experience, people will always compromise given the right amount.”

Dean bristled, feathers finally ruffled. He stood chest-to-chest with the other man. More aware of how different their outfits were. His streaked with faded oil stains and grease marks, having come from work. If Shurley were worried about dirt getting on his clean white shirt or blue silk tie, he didn’t show it. “In my experience, smart mouths lead to fat lips .”

“Was that,” he spluttered, “what that a threat?”

“Yeah it was. Problem?”

Shurley glared, leaning closer. An impossible feat given how thin the space between them was. Electricity crackled underneath, Dean’s ears roaring from an elevated heartbeat. “It may shock you,” Shurley growled, stoking flames in his belly from the low timbre, “but I am no stranger to violence.”

A line pulled from the movies that, in any other context, would have Dean creaming his shorts. Instead, tethered to the aggravating man, the pleasure felt bittersweet. “Actually, I’m not,” Dean told him, “everyone you ever met has probably wanted to knock you upside the head.”

Silence washed over them, then. Tension leaking into every empty crevice until they were wound up tighter than toys. Quickly, in the blink of an eye, it all faded. Sucked away by the sound of a door opening.

“...you did really good today, Ms. Rosen. Next week I wouldn’t mind reading some of these stories you’ve written. Maybe… try your hand at writing something pulled from life instead of TV?”

“But a good story isn’t going to come out of nowhere…” her eyes dipped towards them, a nervous smile twitching to life. “Actually… scratch that. Inspiration has been struck.”

Dr. Richings looked at them, too, cursing under breath. “Why don’t you schedule your next appointment with Tessa, I have to deal with this.”

“Ugh, fine…”

He stalked over, lightning creasing his brows. Imposing in his stoicism. Dean tried to keep his cool, but broke immediately when Richings crushed his wrist in a strong vice. His almost-opponent flinched as well. “No fighting,” he said, “ ever .” Assured they were thoroughly chastised, he let go. Dean rubbed his wrist, wincing. The doctor ignored him in favor of Shurley. “What are you doing here Castiel?”

Shurley tried answering, except- “Castiel?”

Castiel glared at him, “It’s a family name.”

“I bet,” Dean huffed, “people are only named like that out of obligation.”

“Why you -”

“Dean,” Richings hushed him, “quiet. Castiel… your appointment Is not until tomorrow.”

Finally, Castiel seemed uncomfortable. He fidgeted, fingers playing with the ties of his coat. “I know,” he said, “I know we agreed to try stepping… outside my comfort zone . But a whole day? It’s… couldn’t we have done baby steps?”

“Baby steps,” Richings frowned, “you mean like having you order a different coffee from your usual cafe?”

“Well -”

“Or having you pair your suit with a different color tie.”

“Blue with white stripes felt weird -”

“Castiel,” Richings sighed, “we’ve been doing a ton of baby steps. A Friday appointment is still a baby step. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” He reached over and laid a hand of Castiel’s shoulder, “That’s what brought you here, right? Fear?”

Nodding, Castiel said, “Yes, I -”

“No,” Richings cut him off, “hold onto that fear. Write it down. Bring it to me tomorrow and we can sort it then. This is Dean’s time.”

Castiel, affronted, glanced between the good doctor and Dean. Dean smiled, a friendly gesture of de-escalation. “An invitation to punch you in the face,” Castiel called it whenever they told the story to friends.

When he left the building, Dean immediately turned to Dr. Richings. “Wow,” he muttered, “what a piece of work…”

“Don’t do that.”

“Huh?”

“Castiel’s a very good man,” Richings told him, “albeit somewhat… peculiar . But aren’t we all?” He scratched at his chin, staring at the door. “He’s been a patient of mine for some time now, and what you saw today was a vast improvement. I’m asking a lot of him, and he’s trusting me. Don’t judge him on an almost bad day.” Brow raised, he trailed his gaze across Dean’s body. “Actually… you two would get along really well, given the right circumstances.”

Dean blushed, “What? Him? No way doc…” Clearing his throat, he pushed past him and towards his room. “C’mon, we’re here to analyze my sucky brain not my sucky love life.”

“I didn’t say anything about love , Dean…”

“Shut up.”

Castiel chuckles, rubbing his thumb across his threadbare jeans. “You were an awful assbutt -”

“Can’t believe you still use that word…”

The woman across from them, perched on her chair, hums through plum lips. “An eventful first meeting,” she says, “Real hell. And that was when cupid struck?”

“No, not really,” Castiel says, “a few weeks later, I brought my car into the shop where Dean works. He fixed my car up while I waited, and we didn’t know who the other was until it came time to assess for payment.”

“Figured the guy who owned the truck was a messy dork,” Dean chuckles, “at least three different books in the passenger seat footwell… empty containers of tea with the bags inside them… and tons of loose pages with so much highlighting -”

“All my students’ tests and papers flew everywhere after the crash,” he says, Dean not needing to look to know his nose scrunched high on his face. Lines criss-crossing over themselves adorably. “Forgive me if I was more concerned with my car.”

“Super concerned,” Dean smiles, “Bothering Bobby every half-hour, asking about your car -”

“Bobby? Oh… your boss, Mr. Singer?”

“Correct Dr. MacLeod -”

“Rowena, dearie,” she coos, “call me Rowena.”

Castiel flushes, squirming. “Right, sorry… Rowena. Bobby was Dean’s boss. And I wasn’t bothering him, I was concerned. I’d had my truck since my dad bought it for me in high school and I… I was a touch too sentimental in the past. I didn’t want to have to get a new car… so Bobby placated me, telling me how his best mechanic was making it better than new.”

“Ol’ bastard did love to exaggerate…”

Rowena smiles, checking through her notes. “Now Castiel, this isn’t the first time you’ve mentioned your… sentimentality . From your files it looked like you were going to Dr. Richings for a number of years about this. Why did you stop going?”

“I started getting better,” he says, “doing what the doctor suggested and… and meeting Dean helped me overcome many of the obstacles I normally struggled with. I’m sure you can see in my files the day I came to Richings without wearing my usual trench coat.”

“Probably next to ‘thank God for Dean’s clumsy fingers and open cans of motor oil’.”

“ Dean ,” Castiel hushes, the name ripped from his lips. A rush of quiet follows, and the warmth normally following his name hurts. Sobers any levity. “Anyway, weekly appointments became bi-weekly… which became monthly and bi-montly until, well… until he passed away.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Rowena says, squeezing the arms of her chair in lieu of their knees. Dean accepts the sentiment, meaning well-sourced in her thick accent. “And thank you both for telling me all this… I must admit when you two first started coming to me, I was wondering why. Mainly because of the lengthy history you two had with another doctor. Wasn’t sure if there was a falling out or anything…”

“No,” Dean tells her, “nothing like that. Me, I stopped going when I needed to. Went back whenever I got a bit overwhelmed with life and… spiralled .”

“Do you think that’s what happened then, Dean?” Rowena asks, “Did you spiral too much without Richings’ help until you crashed?”

A storm cloud rolled overhead, thundering. Shadows flashed over Dean’s eyes, vision blackening briefly and exploding with the colors of the room. He mulls Rowena’s words in his head. Uncaring to how they sound when it’s Richings saying them. Or Sam.

“I’m not going to let you give up like this,” Sam said, standing over the guest bed. Blanket held high over Dean so he couldn’t hide under it. Pillow long kicked to the floor. “We’re all worried about you. Bobby keeps asking me when you’re going back to work.”

Dean gurgled, rolling away so he wouldn’t face his brother. Squishing the empty bags of chips, turning crumbs into dust.

“She’s highly recommended,” Sam continued, “I met her through a client. Prosecution wanted us to give a detailed history of her mental health, and MacLeod was her therapist. She helped me with my case and even took the stand when the time came to strengthen our defense.”

“So?” Dean asked, “Good for you. Don’t see how that affects me.”

“Because she’s smart, kind, and won’t take any of your shit,” he tells him, “and you need that right now.”

“I don’t know Sam. That sounds like you, yet I’m still here…”

“Because you don’t want to listen to me. You don’t want to listen to anyone . There are only two other people who might help but you’re not speaking to one and the other is dead .” Sam sat on the bed, mattress dipping. “Dean… Richings can’t help you anymore. You need to see someone… talk about what happened -”

“What’s there to talk about?”

“So much Dean!” Sam yelled, “I might not know all the pain you’re going through but I understand a lot of it. I know what it’s like to feel loss . And now… she was my mom, too, Dean. Jack was my nephew. We’ve already lost enough people… stop giving them away.”

Anger flared inside Dean, and he clawed through Sam’s bedspread. “You think I’m giving him away? No, Sam. Cas can make his own choices. He don’t seem too keen on stopping by anytime soon for a chat.”

“He’s willing to go.”

Faster than the spark breathed to life it was snuffed. “What…?”

“Cas?” Sam said, “I already tossed the idea his way. If you agreed to go… he would too. He still believes you two can fix this.”

Dean let Sam leave without another word. Wouldn’t speak to his brother the following morning, not even attempting to sign his disparate malice to his sister-in-law. Kept to his vow until Sam dropped him off for the first session at the high rise. Made it all the way to the fifteenth floor, stewing in his aggravation. Until the elevator doors opened and he caught sight of a familiar trench coat.

“Cas.”

Barely a whisper, his name echoed in the empty waiting room. His husband looked up from his lap, dropping the strips of his ratty security blanket. Hurt welled in his too-blue eyes until he shut it down. Caged by purplish bags and new wrinkles. He retreated to his trench coat, pulling it over his t-shirt.

Like it didn’t make him any less ridiculous.

Dean signed in with the receptionist, finding the furthest chair away from Castiel and setting up camp until their names were called.

Neither were too keen to do anything in those first sessions.

Four months in, there’s been progress. But no light at the end of the tunnel.

“Tell me Dean,” Rowena carries on, “do you think Dr. Richings could have helped you process the recent tragedies that blew up your life?”

Dean scoffs, “I wouldn’t say blew up -”

“You lost your son to a horrible illness days and your mother to a careless drunk driver,” she speaks over him, tone smooth and sharp like a thumbtack piercing a corkboard. “Burying both within a matter of days of each other. You’ve lost your job. You’re no longer living in your house. And you’re here, in my office, because you’re inches away from your separation turning into a divorce . Tell me again how your life isn’t in complete shambles?”

He glared at her, arms crossed. “When you put it like that…”

She sighed, pinching her brow. “I didn’t mean to get cross with you, dearie, I just…” Rowena sets her notes aside and stands. “We’ve been at this awhile. You’re both good people who’ve been dealt unlucky cards. I wish neither of you had to go through what you did.”

“But we had to,” Dean growls, “I’ve always had to. Mom, Jack… I don’t know why I thought it would be different…”

Mary Winchester nearly died once. The Winchester brothers thought she did, perishing in a fire that consumed their childhood home. John spirited them away before they saw it fully collapse. Too early. For if they stayed a bit longer, they would have seen a fireman carry a somewhat charred, unresponsive woman to a nearby ambulance.

Maybe their family would have been whole. Maybe Dean could have grown up at a normal pace. Maybe their home wouldn’t have been a sleek, black muscle car from the past.

Maybe John Winchester wouldn’t have lost his battle with the demons goading him to drink every night until he couldn’t take it anymore and blew his brains out. Not telling either of his children until they received a call from a motel owner south of nowhere telling them how they found his body.

At least in John’s death, they found a new beginning.

Mary attended like a vision, almost too good for reality. They were right, when Dean approached her and a heavy fog clouded her vision. “Dean?” she said, “It… sounds familiar.”

After the fire, Mary woke with no memory past one of meeting a man with his foot glued to the accelerator and a taste for classic rock. Her parents filled her in on nothing. Keeping her in the dark about her sons, the ones named after them.

It took years for her memories of them to return, to create new ones. And they were for nothing.

Almost as pointless as taking in the child of a dear, late friend.

“He is technically my nephew,” Castiel said, watching Jack play with other kids his age. Arm wrapped over Dean’s shoulder. “And we both know Nick won’t have anything to do with the boy. Kelly wouldn’t want him shuttled off to some foster system, to be forgotten.”

Jack tripped over the basketball, landing on his knee. Dean jumped. An urge to run over and check on the boy awoke in that moment, seemingly from nowhere. He ignored it, instead watching what happened next.

Rolling over, Jack pulled his knee close and checked it. From how exposed the skin was to wear and tear by wearing shorts, Dean guessed he must have scraped it. Except there were no tears.

Jack stared at his knee for a long time, enough that the kids around him picked the ball up and continued playing without him. Then, after a minute that felt like hours, he turned to where Dean and Cas were standing. Looked at them, silently asking ‘Can you believe this?’

Dean chuckled, leaning into Cas’s embrace. “Yeah… yeah, okay. Let’s do it.”

“You’re sure?”

“Sure sure,” Dean said, “We’ll be good for him… and him, us.”

They were wrong then, too. Jack’s father struck with a vengeance, taking them to court for custody over their boy. With Sam’s help Dean and Castiel barely managed to keep guardianship of him.

It wasn’t a long duty. Almost as soon as their legal troubles were over the medical crisis began. Cancer too far along, Jack’s candle flickered dangerously in the wind.

“Dean,” Castiel says, closer than he was before, “Dean it’s not like we could have known any of this was going to happen.”

“But we should have!” he yells, “My life’s been nothing but some big cosmic joke. Some-some show that a cruddy audience jerks it to whenever I’m in pain.”

“That isn’t true.”

“It is Cas,” Dean says, blinking through tears, “Why can’t you see I’m just a lousy screw-up, huh? Your dad was right about me…”

“Hold on a minute,” Rowena stops him, hovering nearby, “what did you say?”

Dean rolls his eyes, wiping at the stray watermarks. “That I’m a screw-up -”

“No,” she waves him off, “about Castiel’s father?”

He scowls. “Yeah. What about it? He’s not the first person to call me a screw-up…”

“But you mentioned him , specifically,” she continues, walking back to her seat. Notes in hand, Rowena asks, “Has your father been a sore spot for a long time, Castiel?”

Castiel startles, glancing away from Dean. “What? I… uh, yes. I guess? Ever since Dean and I started dating he hasn’t been the-ah… the most supportive .”

Something bitter roils in Dean’s chest when he laughs. “It took your brother and sister locking him in a bathroom to keep him from interrupting our wedding.”

“He has this… idea of what me and my siblings should be doing with our lives,” Castiel explains, “Some of us followed in his footsteps and joined the family company. While others… rebelled. My brother Nick went into politics. Gabriel is a producer in Hollywood and Hannah… they teach sculpture at a community college in Maine.” “So your profession as a professor -”

“Was not well received,” Castiel sighs, “Every decision I made that he didn’t agree with, he saw it as me not achieving all I could do. That I was limiting myself. He pushes people very hard. As you can see me attest to in my files many of my neuroses were not aided by his parenting.”

Rowena scribbles on her notepad, tone lilting when she connects a few dots Dean cannot see. Too busy trying to figure out what she’s doing, he doesn’t see her turn to him. “Dean, my boy,” she starts, “why did you bring up Chuck just then?”

“What?”

“When you were talking to Castiel, you mentioned Chuck. Why was he on your mind?”

Dean shrugs, slumping in his seat until his knees hit the coffee table. “I don’t know. Sometimes when I’m in a funk my brain plays a mixtape of all the people who’ve said bad things about me and the dashboard buttons stick, so there’s no stopping it. Like I said, he wasn’t the first to call me a screw-up, definitely not the last.”

Rowena nods, mirroring his too-wide smile. “Of course,” she says, “you’re not telling me the whole truth, are you?”

He pinches his thigh. “I’ve told you enough.”

“What aren’t you telling me, Dean?”

“I know that if I’m not ready to talk about things, I don’t have to.”

“This isn’t about being ready, Dean. This is about not wanting to face whatever happened -”

“Who said anything happened!” he yells, leaning forward, “I didn’t say that! It’s not like there was anything to happen. Nothing happened! I made sure of it when Chuck -” Dean bites his lip, cheeks heating under the victorious leer Rowena shoots his way. He avoids meeting Castiel’s curious stare when he returns to his earlier position. “You’re awful.”

“Awfully amazing,” she says, “Now… you and Chuck. Was it a recent altercation?”

Dean checks the clock, aware of how little time is left of their appointment. Waiting her out is preferable to dredging up that memory.

But then, “Dean…”

Looking at Castiel was a mistake. At his soft eyes, his parted lips, his overgrown stubble. Make him hoist the white flag and resign to mortifying ideals.

“It was a day or two after Jack’s funeral,” Dean begins, talking to his hands, “Cas… you’d gone with Gabriel to pay for the service. I was putting casserole after casserole away…”

“Coming!” Dean yelled, dropping Donna’s plastic Tupperware onto the counter in his haste to answer the door. He hurried when the incessant knocking grew louder. “I said I was coming,” he grumbled, “what’s so important that you’re… oh .”

Chuck stood on the other side, an air of casualness wafting from him. Dressed casually in a fitted Henley, dark-wash jeans, leather boots and a jacket. A total sum of more than what Dean made in a month. “What?” he asked, “Not gonna invite me in?”

“Finally admitting you’re a bloodsucker then?”

He pursed his lips. “Cute.” Chuck strode past him, “Where’s my son?”

“Cas isn’t here,” Dean told him, door still open, “If that’s all?”

Chuck glanced back, smirking. “Not that easy. I didn’t come here for him.”

Dean frowned, slamming the door shut. “What Chuck? What do you want?”

“I came here to talk to you.”

“Sure,” he huffed, “because you couldn’t have done that when you were at the funeral.” They barely shared a glance, Dean only knowing Chuck came by a whispered warning from Hannah and a peek at the back row when going up for Jack’s eulogy. “If you’ve come by to say you’re ‘sorry for our loss’ or some other bullshit… I don’t need to hear it.”

“Well… now that hurts Dean,” Chuck said, “Jack was as much my grandson as he was your son… actually, he was more . Biological factors considered -”

“ God !” Dean groaned, pinching his nose, “Haven’t I already suffered enough ?” Sagging against a nearby wall, he waves at his father-in-law. “Come on. Out with it so we can get this over with.”

Contempt flashed to life on Chuck’s face, quickly smothered by a self-satisfied smirk. “All right. Fine . I’ll skip the appetizers and present the main course.” The metaphor knocks his eyes so far back in his head they roll forward again without help. “I’m here to offer my help.”

“Help? What kind of help do you think we need?”

“The kind of help I can provide,” he explained, “ Money .”

Dean tensed, gaze flicking to the other man. “Money?” Five letters that made every nerve left in his body join their brothers, when one by one they turn to ash. Stoked to burn by memories, time after time of Chuck’s snide comments about their lifestyle. Being forced to listen, to bury his anger, with each insinuation he made from ‘concern’.

“Money,” Chuck said, fiddling with the jacket zipper, “You know… you could make a higher salary if you applied yourself more.”

He scoffed. “If I applied myself any more I’d be pushing Bobby’s wheelchair down a staircase.”

“Then maybe it’s time to consider a change?”

A chill rushed down Dean’s spine. Before he could comment, Chuck rushed into his spiel. About how Michael decided to leave the company after falling for some vagabond during a corporate retreat. “Adam’s a nice boy,” Castiel tells Rowena, “and very charming. I mean, he got my brother to pick up yoga .”

“Anyway,” Dean says, a fierce itch tingling behind his eyes, “instead of promoting from within, he got the idea to rely on old-fashioned nepotism.”

“From how you describe your father-in-law,” Rowena says, “It doesn’t seem like he’d be pretty keen on doing such a thing. What drove him to make such an ask?”

Dean sneaks a peek at Castiel, frowning.

“I know neither of you two are in a good place right now,” Chuck said, “financially, I mean.”

“How would you know that?”

Chuck switched to an even more irritating expression. Lips stretching in plastic sympathy. “Because of something I overheard after the service.”

“Castiel and Gabriel were talking,” Dean says, “About how, with both Jack’s and my mom’s… a huge chunk of our savings was gone. Not taking into account the money we funnelled towards medical bills until we found a St. Jude’s we’re still paying off. We were scraping by each month as it was… after all that…”

“It is to be expected,” Rowena says, “after such traumatic events for money to be a sore subject.”

“But,” Dean sighs, wiping at his nose, “I had to… I had to hear it from hum .” He shifts, turning to face his husband, “Cas, I had to hear it from Chuck and not you .”

He heard a lot from Chuck. When Dean rejected the offer, repeated with shaky confidence how they were doing fine with where they were, his father-in-law went livid. “You really are a fool,” he spat, barreling past him towards the door, “every day my son spends married to a buffoon like you is another he subjects himself to torture. Because you, Dean Winchester, are poison . You take so much from Castiel and push all your problems onto him and give him nothing . It’s no surprise all of this happened, because you wreck everything you touch. I hope you enjoy the gutters when the bank evicts you from your home in a month. Not like they’d be able to turn a profit on this shitty thing…”

“And then he left,” Dean shrugs, numb to the gentle caress of Castiel’s hand on his back.

“After all that?” Rowena asked, “He shouted at you and you did… what?”

“I did nothing,” he said, “I couldn’t do anything when he was right.”

“Dean -”

“He was, Cas,” Dean cries, “I mean, look at us! We’re in freaking therapy because I couldn’t lose just my mom, or my son… I had to lose you, too and I couldn’t handle it.”

Castiel readies another dismissal, but keeps his finger on the trigger. Tongue pressed against teeth, only part of him moving his brows furrowing above. He loads another, more deadly bullet into the barrel and fires at his heart. “Is this why, Dean? Why you pushed me away? Why you… you became so cold ? Why you said all those hurtful things at me?”

Dean wrings his hands, copper all he can taste. “I blew up,” he admits, “You were just… there. Being so kind… so caring, and I - I was so mad that I couldn’t be the same. Too full of my own bullshit that I couldn’t stick to my vows and be there for you.” Choking back a sob, he rocks into Castiel. “I never meant what I said… I… everything I said, were things I thought about myself.”

Rowena hums, scribbling in her notepad. “Dean, is this something you’ve done before?”

He nods. “I… yeah. I’ve had a history of being unable to process my anger in a healthy way. Or… at least that was how Dr. Richings described it.” Dean attempts a smile, lips twisting into a grimace. “After he helped me through that… dark period, I’d still go back to him from time to time-”

“When life started spiralling?”

“Yeah…” Sighing, he pulls from Castiel’s embrace, unable to rely on his husband as a shield. “I’ve… it’s always been a problem, since I was young. This anger. I don’t know why it’s there but it’s like it… it never goes away. And when everything becomes too much, and the voices in my head get too loud I… I…”

“You blow up?” Rowena finishes, glancing at Castiel, “Hurting those caught in the crossfire?” She adjusts in her seat, crossing her legs. “Has he ever blown up at you like this?”

“A few times,” Castiel admits, “But usually, with some time and space, we come back together. Normally only a few days, but…”

“But this was going on for much longer.” Rowena taps her pen, staring at Dean. “Why didn’t you seek to resolve this? If the pattern is blow up, space, reunion… why break the cycle?” He won’t answer her. Chews on his tongue so he can’t answer. It doesn’t matter. “Did you think you were doing Castiel a service by staying out of his life?”

“Shit,” he breathes. A nail pierces his heart, hammered in expertly by Rowena. “How are you this good?”

“Because I am dearie… so if you will?”

His mouth flaps for a beat, only no sound accompanies it. Throat stopped up by fear, thick and watery and not enough to truly choke on. Dean looks at Castiel, studies the infinite sadness rippling across his eyes. The only part of him that dare show how he’s feeling. “Because of this,” he growls, “because you’re holding back from me.”

“What -”

“Here I am having a breakdown and you look like it’s another fucking Saturday!” Dean yells, “Like you… you checked out, and were just waiting for an excuse to leave. At least… at least that’s what I believe, after talking with Chuck.” He gasps, tugging at his hair. “Christ, Cas, if you were worried about money why didn’t you bring it up with me? Why don’t you tell me how you’re feeling? I want to help but it’s like… it’s like you won’t let me .”

“Dean,” Castiel says, “I… I don’t know what to - to… I’m not waiting for an excuse to leave you -”

“Well how was the poor boy supposed to know that, Castiel?”

Castiel whips around towards Rowena. “Excuse me?”

She sighs, flipping through her notes. “In every session, you’ve been a willing participant. Moresoe than your husband. However… everything you ever said was about him or in relation to him… we never hear any ‘I’ statements from you.”

“I highly doubt that,” he says, lips twitching into a nervous smile, “I just said ‘I’... and I did it again!”

Rowena arches a brow. “In fact,” she continues, “didn’t you mention how, the day after Dean left you, you were ‘chugging coffee to stay awake in class’.”

“It was a very important week for me, most of my students’ grades were calculated from these presentations -”

“An average person in this kind of situation would not be too keen to go back to class,” she says, “in fact, you didn’t miss a single class since. Did Dean’s absence really affect you?”

“...Of course it did!” Castiel snarls, cool facade entirely shattered under the implication, “My love for Dean is as infinite as the stars in the sky or-or… or the amount of fucking purple you have in your office. But I know when to put my own troubles aside for others -”

“That you do, Castiel,” Rowena agrees, “In fact… it said in your file you have a tendency to absorb others’ burdens at the expense of dealing with your own?”

Dean watches Castiel barely contain his ire. Fingers twitching against his knee, scraping the denim. Eyes almost shut from how tightly they squint across the table, like he could smite her with a thought.

“You spend all your energy trying to fix things,” she says, “that there’s no time to hone in on what you’re feeling -”

“Because I know what I’m feeling!” “Good! What is it, then?”

“I… It’s... “ Castiel sighs, sagging into the couch now, “I’m tired, I’m… I’m empty . Like there’s been this darkness inside of me, chipping away until I’m nothing but a husk. And I figured maybe… maybe if I didn’t give it any attention, it would go away.”

“That’s no way to beat a beast like that, Castiel,” Rowena tells him, “You should know. Your history with depression -”

“Was a fucking nightmare,” he cuts her off, “some days I couldn’t get up from my bed I didn’t think it was worth it. Once… once, it was so bad, I nearly lost my job because I kept missing classes. All because I allowed myself to stare into the abyss and was foolish enough to blink.”

Rowena won’t quit. “You’re scared.”

“Damn right I’m scared.”

“And because of this fear,” she says, “you shut yourself off. Kept things bottled up.”

“Not… not entirely,” Castiel says, looking to Dean. “I… all your life, you’ve had other people’s shit dumped on you. Your dad’s… your mom’s… grandparents, co-workers, former partners… I didn’t want to be that. Didn’t want to put you through anymore of it. You had your own problems, and I wanted to be there for you .”

“Cas,” Dean sighs, reaching across to curl his arm around his husband’s shoulders, “When we stood across from each other all those years ago… I wasn’t accepting just the good parts. It was all of you.”

“But -”

“Everyone else dumped on me without my consent,” he says, “You… I want to be there for you. To help. Be equal… not treated with fucking kid’s gloves.”

“I know, Dean,” Castiel says, a tear traversing the planes of his cheeks, “I’m sorry.”

“We lost so much already,” Dean sniffs, “and we almost lost this… I’m sorry, too.”

They hold each other. Reacquaint themselves with parts they kept themselves from sharing because of their own stubborn beliefs. Dean breaths in the scent of laundry detergent around Castiel’s neck, heart aching because he missed it. Because Sam makes his own instead of buying Tide like a normal person.

“Now this is really lovely, boys,” Rowena says, clapping. Drawing them from the embrace, “Truly. But… we’re not out of the woods yet.”

“Yeah,” Dean says, “too easy, right?”

“You’ve made a lot of progress already,” she winks, “so I doubt the rest will be hard. That being said… our time is officially over.”

“It is?” Castiel asks, “That was all an hour?”

“An hour and five minutes but… who am I to rush healing,” she shrugs, “Besides, my next patient is a total narcissist and making him wait will be good for him.” Rowena stands, beckoning them to do the same so she can shake their hands. “I think you two are finally ready for some homework.”

“Homework?” Dean winces, “C’mon, Rowena…”

“Nothing too serious,” she laughs, walking them towards the door, “The two of you have taken so many hits, that it’s definitely bruised your relationship. So I want you two to take it back to where it all began.”

“Meaning?”

“Recreate your first date,” she tells them, “Reflect on what drew you two to each other and remind yourself of all the happiness that existed because of your union. And write it all down, because come our next meeting I want to hear all about it!"

“We will, Rowena,” Dean says, smile more genuine than ever, “Thank you.”

“All in a day’s work, dearie…”

They leave her office, walking side by side to the elevator banks. When it opens up, someone rushes out and between Dean, uncoupling their joined hands. Dean only notices they were glued together when forced apart, and quickly fixes that mistake.

“I’ve missed being able to hold your hand,” he says.

“I missed having your hand hold mine.”

Dean looks at his husband, calm with very obvious tear-stains on his face. “Do you think we’ll ever get back to where we were?” he asks under the delightful mediocrity of elevator music.

Castiel meets his gaze. “I’m not sure,” he says, “I don’t believe we can ever be the same as we were yesterday but… I hope we can be better.”

“So do I…” A breath. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Dean.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

Rowena walks to her car, fixing her hair into a ponytail. “Fucking naturalists,” she huffs, “Not everything can be cured with fucking crystals… if you’re gonna get into witchcraft at least make it interesting .”

At her car, she moves to enter. Only her phone chirps with a new message, drawing her focus. “Please don’t let it be a patient,” she says, checking.

She reads the texts, and smiles.

It was a patient. Rather, patients. Dean and Castiel sent her a photo - a selfie. From years ago, by the looks of it. Followed by another picture. A recreation of the first, with the same table, same candle, and same bottle of wine. Same all-consuming love for each other.

Thanks, doc .

“These are the moments that make it worth it Rowena,” she says, “make it all worth it…”

#Supernatural #Spn #Spn15 #15x08 #Castiel #Dean Winchester #Rowena MacLeod #destiel #deancas #destiel fanfic #deancas fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic

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officialthiamlibrary · 5 years

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Meet The Mods - iftheskyisthelimit

We’ve had a few requests to do something similar to our “Behind The Screens” features in order to introduce ourselves, and we felt that after around a year of running this blog, and having another few people come on board along the way that now would probably be a good time to do it!

The idea is that we’ll each take a turn at filling out and posting one of these so that you guys can to know us all a little better including our own personal tastes/preferences and get a little bit more of an idea of how we all work and what we each bring to the team etc…

About You

Username/Name:

iftheskyisthelimit / Lisa

AO3/Tumblr:

https://archiveofourown.org/users/iftheskyisthelimit / http://iftheskyisthelimit.tumblr.com/

How did you find your way to the Thiam fandom? What about them drew you in?

I’d lurked in the Teen Wolf fandom for a while on Tumblr, and became really interested in Theo’s character and his story since he’d shown up in Season 5 (okay at first it was his looks that got me interested… let’s be honest), which evolved into being interested in his backstory when we found out a bit more about him. It wasn’t until his return in Season 6 that I enjoyed watching their characters together and their interactions and started looking around more on Tumblr for their characters that I discovered it wasn’t just me... then I randomly came across the Thiam ship through seeing some fics on Tumblr and found the Official Thiam Library as result of that...

Using a sentence, where the word count is either equal to or less than the number of letters in your two favorite Teen Wolf episode names, tell us about yourself. (ex, Motel California + Werewolves of London = 33 ; Raving + Galvanize =15)

Memory Found + Apotheosis = 21 - I’m slightly quirky but serious, love music, reading and travelling... kinda funny and always overly organised. Can’t ever cut something short...

What’s one thing about you or your life that we’d be surprised to know about?

Do you want serious, interesting or fun facts? I’ll do both as they might surprise people. Serious/boring: I have at least 3 chronic illnesses which tend to floor me, hence my long absences between writing & updating what I’m working on. Interesting: I can speak/read/understand around 5 languages and I’m a bit of a different cultures & sociology nerd.

One other thing I guess is when I get interested in a topic I get interested and have to know aallllll the ins and outs of it and thoroughly research it, so I’m probably full of boring random facts about a bunch of things that come in handy on general knowledge quizzes, but which no-one has any interest in knowing...

Other Shows/Movies You Follow:

Does too many to mention count as an answer? No? Okay… In no particular order *deep breath*

Shows: The Handmaids Tale, Animal Kingdom, The 100, Vikings, Stranger Things, All American, Riverdale, Scream, Supernatural, Parks and Rec, Vampire Diaries, Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, Twelve Monkeys, Shadow Hunters, Game Of Thrones, Reign, American Horror Story, Buffy… There are literally a ton more but I really can’t think on them at the moment….

Movies: I can’t really say that I follow movies per-se… if I had to choose I’d say Marvel movies though if that counts as an answer? Umm… genre wise I like a wide range but mainly gravitate towards comedy, action and thriller movies. Or something with a good twist in the story where it either throws what you thought you were watching on its head, or you get an “aaahhhhh that’s was happening” moment. To watch a horror, it has to have that something that makes me want to watch it or get invested in it… whether it’s a character I really relate to or can get invested in, or a really good story. My favourite horror is probably Haunting In Connecticut, and I saw Midsommar recently and thought it was really amazingly done!

Other Fandoms You Follow:

I don’t really follow a lot of fandoms if I’m honest. I would probably say after Teen Wolf I follow the Marvel, The 100 and Supernatural fandoms more. Mainly the Captain America/Steve/Bucky fandoms. I love a good discussion about Animal Kingdom too!

Other Favourite Characters from shows/movies?

Uuuuhhhh…. Okay you asked for it, I was going to explain my reasons for why I love each but I’d be here all day and this part alone would end up turning into an essay.

Steve Harrington (Stranger Things), April Ludgate (Parks and Rec) , Sam Winchester (Supernatural), Craig Middlebrooks (Parks and Rec), Mickey Milkovich (Shameless US), Bucky Barnes (Marvel), James Cole (Twelve Monkeys), Jack Kline (Supernatural), Michael Langon (American Horror Story), Catherine de Medici (Reign), Constance Langdon (American Horror Story), Dean Winchester (Supernatural), Alec Lightwood (Shadow Hunters), Anya Jenkins (Buffy), Raphael Santiago (Shadow Hunters), Stephane Narcisse (Reign), Kai Parker (Vampire Diaries), John Murphy (The 100)

What do you like to create (writing/art/videos)?

I’d really love to be creative enough to make art or videos, but I’m really not! I’m far more comfortable with writing… I find it a lot easier to plan a story, or just to start writing and let the words flow that way and see where it goes. It’s a good way for me to express myself and to work through feelings or to just switch off for a while and create words on a page.

Do you only create for Teen Wolf/Thiam?

I have written for Supernatural in the past and I’m planning to write a Raphael fic for Shadow Hunters at some point and maybe a John Murphy one because I’ve not found many for him that cater to my angsty tastes when there’s so much that can be explored... But at the moment yes it’s only for Teen Wolf. I’ve also posted one Sceo fic which I would like to continue as well!

Which genres do you prefer reading and creating for?

Angst, angst, angst… did I mention angst?? It just feels right to me to write angstier fics, the words and ideas just seem to flow really well, which is a surprise as I’m not really an angsty person in life. It’s just what I’ve always gravitated towards writing and I find a lot better to express myself in that way. I have a humour/angst WIP which I decided to attempt a while ago and I did quite enjoy writing something a little different from what I normally do and people seemed to enjoy it.

If your creative process was a person, what type would they be? What would they do? Wear? Listen to? How do they handle conflict?

Quite probably the most disorganised messiest person alive… No not really… just sorta… kinda… maybe… In all seriousness, they’d be half organised and half “ lets see where this road takes us”. They would probably wear all black all day every day, and be a half emo kid who listens to punk pop and emo music from their teens with a healthy mix of dance and sad songs. Handling conflict? We don’t do that here… we bottle up our feelings and hide them away until they come out in the wrong ways. No really… I think they’d express themselves pretty clearly with 1000 words instead of 100.

Official Thiam Library

How did you find the Official Thiam Library?

I found the Official Thiam Library through searching the Theo Raeken tags on Tumblr and seen the page name pop up a few times, I had a look at the page not long after and followed pretty quickly, I needed my Theo/Thiam fix and this page covered it very well!

First impressions?

“Woah, they’re on the ball!” and then when I saw a few of the events the page done I was really impressed at how often they posted recommendations and how they could organise it all.

How did you come to be involved on the mod team?

I filled in the form for Beta Readers and Helpers for the Thiam Big Bang, I’d have loved to have participated but I didn’t know if I’d have been able to commit to having such a large work completed on a deadline, so I thought I’d offer to help in another way, having helped to run the Supernatural SummerGen for a few years. Tiffany got back to me pretty quickly about it and I came on board at that point.

What do you feel that you bring to the team?

Uuuhhh… I hate these types of questions haha! I really feel like I mostly bring my organisational skills, along with the way that like to try and help out where I can in the background with writing/explaining things or getting back to people with asks/emails etc... With the Big Bang I brought my experience of things I’d learned from the Supernatural events I’d worked on too which I think/hope was of use?

How do you help out?

Mainly what I’ve answered above applies to this question too I think?

What would you like to see for the Official Thiam Library over the next year?

I’d really love to see the page continue… continue on as is, doing a few more fandom events, grow as a page and fandom... also to help keeping the fandom going which is important right now I think… we’ve managed it so far though! We were just speaking about how thrilled we are that the fandom is still going strong. I also think it’s important to give older and newer fandom creators the recognition & cheer that they deserve too, which can be done through reblogging/recommendations and different events too.

Cute BTS Questions

Let’s imagine you’ve landed in a Zombie apocalypse, Walking Dead/Zombieland style. You’re among seven survivors–yourself and six characters from Teen Wolf. Which five would be your first choice for survival, entertainment, etc? And who would be the sixth character, the one you’d willingly push in front of a rage-filled zombie mob given the first chance?

I can’t help but feel that my choice for the last part will be unpopular but here goes:

Theo and Chris for survival… they seem like they’d both be good to have around in this sort of situation, Stiles for entertainment because he had his funny moments and would keep everyone going I think. Melissa because we all need a mother figure who knows when to be tough but can also provide you with the loving support you need. Scott because… well… he’s a the alpha and we’d need someone to lead our small group and take charge when needed.

Who would I willingly throw to the zombie mob given the first chance? Allison and Kira are both a tie here. Can’t I throw them both?? I never really liked Allison as a character… I don’t even really know why I just never gelled with her as a character I would like or could even get behind. Kira… ugh… just ugh… I feel like she was quite a forced character, they tried too hard to make her this cooky/funny character who could also kick ass and it just came off wrong to me… I never really warmed to her as she just felt forced.

If you could read only 5 fanfictions for an entire year, which would you choose? Thiam or another fandom, if not Thiam, which fandom?

In no order at all because I never tire of reading any of them:

1 - Airplanes by Captainmintyfresh - Teen Wolf - Thiam fanfiction

2 - Despite The Threatening Sky And Shuddering Earth (They Remained) by praximeter (Zimario) - Captain America - Steve/Bucky fanfiction

3 - The Call by DemonzDust - Teen Wolf - Sceo fanfiction

4 - The Crow On The Cradle by Refur - Supernatural fanfiction

5 - Gotta Have Faith by arxiver - Captain America - Steve/Bucky fanfiction

You are our sensei and us your pupils, can you impart any life/writing wisdom?

Life wisdom: Don’t sweat the small stuff... seriously… it wastes so much time and energy that you could be using for other things. If you can’t control it or you don’t feel it’ll be bothering you this time next year, then don’t let it bog you down. People will come and go, that’s a part of life, take the lessons that they taught you from their time in your life (whether positively or negatively) and use them wisely.

Writing wisdom: Don’t force yourself. If you’re having an hour, a day, or a week where the words or ideas won’t come then don’t force it to happen, you’ll only feel worse. Step back, put on some music which suits the tone of whatever you’re writing and try to get in the mood of your story that way, it’s amazing the words that can come or the complete change in direction you can go from doing that.

Finally, what’s next for you?

Hopefully getting back into the swing of things with the Official Thiam Library and writing more again, getting ready for the Reverse Big Bang, and planning a few things in my personal life, like a few trips, my wedding and a house move (yes… I’m becoming a boring adult and it’s a scary new world!)

#officialthiamlibrary #meet the mods #behind the screens #bts #mod: lisa

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rebelmeg · 6 years

Text

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

(I know, it’s an ask meme, but... I just kinda want to do them all. I LOVE this kinda stuff, it’s like writing a nifty journal entry for people that suck at journals, like me.)

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Um, no... they’re right there.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? 1. I’m very comfortable in the dark.

3. The person you would never want to meet? Donald Trump was the first to spring to mind.

4. What is your favorite word? Popcorn. (Because it visually appeals to me, and it feels nice to say. I know, that made literally zero sense. I know.)

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? I always fancied myself a weeping willow, but there is literally nothing willowy about me. Ooh, ooh, can I be a fruitless pear tree?! They turn every color from yellow to purple in autumn and they’re so pretty!

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? Probably something like, “Ew,” or “I need to shower,”.

7. What shirt are you wearing? It’s cute! It’s a gray tunic with a deep V in the front with lacing, and the words, “I’d Rather Not.”

8. What do you label yourself as? Writer.

9. Bright room or dark room? Bright when I’m working, dim when things are winding down, dark as sin when sleeping.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Same thing I’m doing now, screwing around on Tumblr when I should be finishing up and going to bed.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? 17 was a good year for me, I found the other half of my heart. Everything before and after was basically a crap shoot.

12. Who told you they loved you last? My daughters.

13. Your worst enemy? Probably myself.

14. What is your current desktop picture? It’s doing a slideshow through my saved file of New Years pictures.

15. Do you like someone? Romantically, just my hubby. He’s awfully cute.

16. The last song you listened to? Listening to “U and Ur Hand” by P!nk right now.

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? No one wants me to have this responsibility.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I could prepare a list...

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Oh geez, I have no idea. Who wants to be my slave and clean my house?

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) My eyes! I have pretty eyes.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? I’ve got no idea what I’d look like, I’ve got too much boob and hip going on. I’ll be honest, I’d have to have at least one orgasm, because I’ve always wondered what the difference is.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Secret? Not really, I’m pretty open with all my talents.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Family members dying. I’ve never had a close family member die, and I’m like... ridiculously afraid of that (especially my husband and kids), especially since I’m deeply religious.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. The #11 at Jimmy Johns, plus bacon.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Probably on something stupid. Discount Christmas shirts (I only have one), stuff on my wish.com list and Amazon list, that kind of thing. Takeout from Arby’s.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Europe!

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? Um... yeah, I don’t drink so... maybe the rarest, most expensive liquor known to man. I’ll sell it and be rich.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? No littering.

29. What is your favorite expletive? I can’t say, I’m trying to quit. (And it’s a bad one.) If we’re doing PG rated expletives, I’ve taken to using “son of a nutcracker” and “oh my honk” pretty frequently...

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? LAPTOP.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? I know what it is. But I’m not telling all y’all because it’s horrifically embarrassing.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! SCOTLAND. It only gets, like, into the 70′s there in the summer. I can dig that. I’m a freaking polar bear. (Do I get to pick the celebrities I get to fictionally sleep with, because I’ve prepared a list...)

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Like, for a visit, or for permanent? Because that’s different. If it was for a visit, I’d bring back one of my two grandparents that have died. I have QUESTIONS. If it was for permanent... if an early term, miscarried baby counts, I’d bring back mine.

34. What was your last dream about? I only get dreams when I’m in that weird “not 100% sleep” state, and man are they bizarre.... and I rarely remember them, but you can trust me that it was weird.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? Yes. Yes I am. Exceptionally.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Several times, yeah. Most of them for baby things. (I had the baby, I was not the baby.)

37. Have you ever built a snowman? Oh yes. Not yet this year though, not a really awesome snowfall yet, just a few inches.

38. What is the color of your socks? I’m wearing neon pink and navy blue Black Widow socks that I got from my hubby for Christmas!

39. What type of music do you like? Most of it. Seriously. Country, rock, pop, oldies, alternative, instrumental, show tunes, classical, movie scores, Disney, Celtic and Irish.... seriously. Most of it.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets, sunrises are full of tiredness.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Depends on my mood, really.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) I... don’t. I’m not a sports person unless the Olympics are involved.

43. Do you have any scars? Lots, yeah. Biggest is my c-section scar(s), my favorite is the one on my middle finger from when I sliced it open trying to set up a trampoline. Pro tip, wear gloves, because those springs can slice your finger open when pulled back and loosed.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I’ve already graduated (high school, never went to college and I don’t regret it), I wanted to be married and happy. I’ve mostly succeeded. Still chasing happiness, but I get the golden moments enough that I can call it successful.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Probably body size, mostly because they don’t have a lot of cute clothes in my size and I have no power to change that sad standard.

46. Are you reliable? Almost 100%, yes.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? How does Infinity War and Avengers 4 end?

48. Do you hold grudges? Big ones, yes. Little ones, not so much.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? Panda peacock. Because a cute, cuddly panda with peacock colors? Best.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Someone trying to goad me into participating in one of their infantilization fantasies that made me feel extremely uncomfortable.

51. Are you a good liar? I’m an excellent liar. I shouldn’t be proud of that. I am.

52. How long could you go without talking? Does talking to myself count, because I do that a lot...

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? The awkward between-phase after I did a shoulder-length bob and needed to grow it out again after my perm started to lose strength too. Poof.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? Tons of times. I made my own birthday cake this year.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? I do a pretty decent British (a few dialects), I can pull of Australian, Irish, Scottish, New Zealand, French, and occasionally Russian or German, as long as I get a good audio clip first to jump off of.

56. What do you like on your toast? Butter, or butter with jam/jelly or cinnamon sugar.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? A terrible sketch of Marty the zebra from Madagascar for my three year old.

58. What would be you dream car? A big honking pick-up truck with the full backseat and excellent gas mileage and fuel efficiency.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Okay, the way that is worded is hilarious. I do sing sometimes, when I’ve got music going, but I am pretty quiet since neighbors. I don’t usually do anything unusual, except sticking my loose hairs to the wall so I can wad them up and throw it all away rather than it going down the drain and clogging it.

60. Do you believe in aliens? Not in the traditional sense, but I know we’re not alone. It’s based in religion.

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Rarely. When it pops up in magazines from last year or whatever.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? M, probably, for my name. And, fun trivia, M is the 13th letter of the alphabet, which puts it smack in the middle.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? DRAGONS. I’d have a dragon as a pet if I could. Hagrid and Charlie Weasley would be over all the time.

64. What do you think about babies? They’re cuuuute. Most of the time. Mine were cutest.

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. If anyone thinks of something, do ask me. I seriously love this stuff!

#65 questions #about me

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televisor-reviews · 4 years

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Top 10 BEST Films Of 2018

Taking this extra year to look at the film market of 2018 has given me the space to really look at the year as a whole as, what I’d describe as, really extreme. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t awful, and I wouldn’t really say it was mediocre either. There were lots of movies I loved but just as many I hated with surprisingly few I thought were just okay. Both the best and worst lists were pretty hard to put together because there were so many movies I really wanted to put on them. Cutting Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom from my worst list was a serious heartbreaker for me. But that only means that I’m particularly quite happy with how both turned out, there’s some seriously game changing films on this list. And keep in mind that, despite how much I tried, I still couldn’t watch every movie from the year: so as amazing as I’m sure A Star Is Born and Best F(r)iends are, I just didn’t get around to them. If you’d like a list of every movie from 2018 I have seen (in order from best to worst), it can be found on my Letterboxd here: https://letterboxd.com/animatorreviewa/list/every-2018-movie-ive-seen/

#10. Searching Back in 2014, the world was introduced to a new form of filmmaking that told a story via the screen of the main protagonist’s computer in Blumhouse’s Unfriended. Kind of like a modern day found footage film. And while I was one of five people who really liked Unfriended and its 2018 followup Unfriended: Dark Web, I think Searching is the penultimate of what this newfound sub-genre is able to accomplish. Similar to what Cloverfield was able to do for found footage, Searching was able to use the computer screen film style to heighten the tension and breaks down a part of the audience’s suspension of disbelief to create a horrific experience for anyone who witnesses it. Which also puts a ton of pressure on the lead, John Cho, as even a moment of bad acting can break this fragile fourth wall. Pressure that Cho overcomes like it was nothing. All of this combines into an incredible experience that keeps its audience on the edge of their seats and constantly on the brink of a heart attack. I’m almost certain that Searching will be considered an important piece of 2010′s film history. #9. Bad Times At The El Royale In 2011, Drew Goddard set himself apart as a director with a very unique and interesting vision with his landmark piece A Cabin In The Woods. In 2018, he did it again with, in my opinion, an even better film, Bad Times At The El Royale with a fascinatingly put together and complicated story featuring some of the best acting from such a star studded cast I’ve seen in years. From Jeff Bridges playing against the Big Lebowski type most are familiar with to Jon Hamm definitely playing towards his Richard Jewell typecast to Dakota Johnson making up for all three Fifty Shades Of Grey movies with quite possibly her best performance. Bad Times At The El Royale is one of the most uniquely made mainstream movies I’ve seen in a while with several scenes told several times from different perspectives and each character breathed life into them with such interesting backstories. My only real problem is that the whole thing with half the place is in Nevada and the other half is in California doesn’t really go anywhere but it’s made up for as soon as Chris Hemsworth shows up to ham the hotel up. Incredibly entertaining and amazingly fascinating, this is a movie that threatens you with a good time. #8. The Favourite I appreciate that powdered wig period pieces are coming back into style with shit such as Beauty And The Beast (2017), The Age Of Adaline, and Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales. But among the failures of this once well respected sub-genre are good stuff too, for instance, The Favourite, a movie that actually remembers that British people spell some words with a “u”. One of my personal Favourite cliches of films nowadays is having a cast in which literally everybody is an asshole, see #9 and #1. And what I really like particularly with this is that old time-y movies about royalty can be really intimidating to hurdle, even now I have to hype myself up to watch something like Downton Abbey. But this overcomes it by being really entertaining with some great performances from the entire cast, especially Emma Stone showing once again why she deserves an Oscar! And the directing from Yorgos Lanthimos is so good, it actually makes me want to check out The Killing Of A Sacred Deer. The Favourite is a magnificently smartly fun picture that can satisfy both the most bored audience member and the most pretentious film critic. #7. Love, Simon Look, we all have biases. Some lead people to rave about how BlacKkKlansman is the best movie of the year because of how well it portrays black culture and their relationship with the police and evangelical racists. Some lead people raving about Crazy Rich Asians because it had the balls to fill its cast with Asians and Asian Americans. For me, an (at the time) openly bisexual 18 year old who masks most of my anxiety and fears with a very thin facade of comedy, Love, Simon really spoke to me while also entertaining the hell out of me. The script knew exactly when to be funny and when to be serious, when it should have a heartfelt scene and when it should go on a random tangent, and even when it’s trying to be funny or go on a tangent, it gives incredible insight into the main protagonist’s psyche. And for those moments, the context is everything. I remember cringing pretty hard at the whole “coming out as straight” bit in the trailer, but laughing my ass off when it showed up in the film. And Nick Robinson, who plays the titular character, kills it and I think he’s going to go places very soon. All of this culminates at the end, when the emotion is high and I (along with the rest of the theater) are on the edge of our seats, and Love, Simon got me to shed some tears. #6. Ralph Breaks The Internet Of the two million Disney movies released in 2018, this sequel is the highest one ranking on my list. And of the one million animated films released in 2018, this is actually the lowest one ranking on my list. Which kind of surprises me because you wouldn’t think so on the surface. On one hand, it’s just a sequel to a video game movie that lost Best Animated Picture to Brave, how is Wreck It Ralph 2 doing better than the emotional rollercoaster that was Christopher Robin or the long awaited and ton of fun that was The Incredibles 2. But then again, anyone who knows me knows that Wreck It Ralph is one of my favorite Disney cartoons, so how does it barely creep above the smart while not being funny at all Smallfoot or the only surface level hilarity that is Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation? Well, in some sense it’s much better than the original: with superior animation, a cooler concept, and finally realizing that the focus should be entirely on the real star, Princess Vanellope Von Schweetz. On the other hand, it doesn’t even come close to matching up: the humor is a tad sub par, too much is really going on, and considering the very cool concept, it should’ve done more with it. But did I still watch it a ton as soon as I could: absolutely. So who really won here: me for being a little disappointed or Disney who made a very entertaining film? The sixth spot feels about right to me. #5. Annihilation Between J.J. Abrams’s batshit crazy Nazi-zombie experiment Overlord, Steven Spielberg bringing his amazing talent to Ready Player One, Netflix throwing their hat into the “ripping off Big Hero 6″ ring with Next Gen, and do I even need to mention Marvel, 2018 was a damn good year for sci-fi in the middle of a decade that was, as a whole, great for the genre. And while Annihilation isn’t the last we’ll see from science fiction on the list, it is the one that’s here largely because of that. Flatly, I love how the science in this movie works; in general, I tend to prefer my sci-fi very grounded and that is how Annihilation works. I could kind of see how something like this bubble can exist and everything inside it really working this way. But what I really love about this film’s science is that it is a borderline horror flick. Once Natalie Portman walks through into the anti-Wizard Of Oz, the shit that goes down is horrifying. All of a sudden: up is down, left is right, and nobody knows what time it is and I loved it! This kind of gaslighting horror that I don’t see a whole lot of lately really throws the audience through a loop because for once, we don’t know what’s going on either. And for a film to really go so far just to confuse people, I have to at least respect. And to do it so well with some amazing acting on just about everybody’s part, I must love! Annihilation is a serious experience that I wished I was able to catch on the big screen. #4. Sorry To Bother You In 2018, Donald “Childish “Lando Calrissian” Gambino” Glover released his major #1 single, This Is America. Whether you love it or you hate it, you have to admit that it was saying a lot in such a unique way. The world that music video took place in was a nonsensical cartoon to somehow represent the plight of African Americans in the United States. I’m not gonna pretend like I totally understand because I definitely don’t; the point is that the portrayal struck a nerve with a lot of people and, personally, it did feel like a proper way of showing it. And Sorry To Bother You does something very similar, portraying the African American plight in a humorous, cartoonish, and unrealistic way to counteract the very serious, down to earth, and realistic parts. Do black people need to completely show themselves as white to get anything done; maybe not but we all know that people in general are much friendlier and nicer to those who sound like their ideals, usually meaning white. Are we, as a nation, (spoilers) turning poor (and considering how blacks are predisposed to being lower middle class because of reasons relating to how capitalism works, most of the blacks of the world) people into horses; I sure hope not but big companies and better off citizens do tend to think of the working class as just objects to do shit for them. Sorry To Bother You brings up a lot of the problems prevalent in modern society, especially those that directly relate to African Americans, in a palpable and entertaining way is ingenious and amazingly well done thanks to the overwhelming talent of Boots Riley and I cannot wait for his next big project. It’s definitely the best racial relations film of the year, beating out other great films like Monsters And Men, If Beale Street Could Talk, and The Oath. #3. Isle Of Dogs 2018 is a year that really threw me through a loop as far as films went. When I went to see Isle Of Dogs, I was certain that it’ll be the best movie of the year, absolutely no competition. Then, later on, when the #1 film came out, I was certain that would be it. Then the #2 spot came out and made me question everything all over again. Anyway, Isle Of Dogs is Wes Anderson being very Wes Anderson-y while combining it with the same kind of claymation he used in the fantastic Fantastic Mr. Fox and the traditional culture of Japan that’s oh so lovable. And as much as I love the Anderson style, the animation used here, and how Japanese culture is portrayed, involving my favorite animal brings my appreciation over the top. I am so down to get a million more films in which the theme of the picture is that dogs rule. This really is the kind of film that I love just about every aspect of, and though it might mostly be on a surface level way, I really don’t have anything bad to say about this film. It’s almost boring how much I enjoy this, I don’t have much to say except please watch it. It’s so good! #2. Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse Back in 2012, the world as a whole was introduced to a pair of directors mostly known for animation named Phil Lord and Chris Miller when they directed the surprise hit 21 Jump Street and its followup 22 Jump Street. The world then got to know them a little bit better when they seemingly single-handedly jumpstarted the beloved The Lego Movie franchise. Then in 2018, everyone learned that no matter how crazy, Lord and Miller know what they’re doing when their firing spelled doom for the financial flop that was Solo: A Star Wars Story. So when the pair brought their producing and writing talent to a Sony Animation made Spider-Man movie just a year after The Emoji Movie, I think most people were expecting to enjoy it if only because that snippet at the end of Venom was really well animated. But I don’t think anyone was expecting an Academy Award winning film. Whenever I went onto my Twitter for a solid month, all I saw were people exclaiming how Into The Spider-Verse was their favorite movie of the year and then again for another month after the Oscars took place. All of a sudden, Disney Marvel, Warner Bros. DC, and Fox X-Men (rest in peace), have a brand new and major competitor... and for good reason, this movie is incredible. I immediately accepted it as easily the best Spider-Man movie ever, but took a few watchings for me to accept it as the second best film of the year and a few more to accept it as my Phil Lord and savior. It is so much fun, so entertaining, so enjoyable with such great characters, amazing writing, and hilarious comedy all wrapped with a brilliantly animated bow. Another film I really have nothing bad to say about, this is just a fantastic film through and through. Before we get to #1, here’s some Runners Up:

Black Panther This was the year I got a little spent on superhero movies. Considering how I still put Into The Spider-Verse as my #2, clearly not that much, but I just wasn't super amazed by what Marvel, DC, or X-Men had to offer. But I don’t think I even disliked any: Avengers: Infinity War was fun but incredibly unfocused, Teen Titans Go! To The Movies was hilarious but was still just a poor child’s version of Teen Titans, and Deadpool 2 had some great action but not nearly as entertaining as its predecessor. Black Panther was the only one that really left a real mark on me, but even still, it’s not the best film of the year to handle black culture. Even as far as Ryan Coogler films go, I think I’d rather watch Creed or its sequel Creed 2. It’s good but I don’t think it deserved a best picture nomination. Instant Family Hear me out, the movie in which Mark Wahlberg and Rose Byrne adopt Dora The Explorer and her two bratty siblings directed and written by the same guys behind Daddy’s Home 2 and Horrible Bosses 2 is the feel good movie of the year, is incredibly hilarious and underrated, and even got me to shed a tear by the end. There is no excuse to let Daddy’s Home flourish and this beauty and die, I implore you to please watch it. You will not regret it, let it get big on home media, get more of these made! Vice I get that not everybody gets the Adan McKay style of making a dramedy like in The Big Short or Bombshell, but I do and I love both Christian Bale and Amy Adams so Vice was really up my alley! I just thought of it as a really enjoyable movie with a message I was predisposed to agree with. What really throws this into being a great movie to me is that Christian Bale really is that good in this, maybe one of the best performances in his career. I don’t know, I thought it was funny so I enjoyed it well enough. Won’t You Be My Neighbor? I think most people agree that this was easily the best documentary of the year. As much love as I have for Fahrenheit 11/9 for being my first theatrical documentary and Behind The Curve for being one of few docs that are incredibly entertaining, I had to eventually break down and admit that Won’t You Be My Neighbor (once again) made me cry because I grew up loving Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood that much. Especially now that we’re past A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood leaving not nearly as big of a mark as people were expecting and we’re still watching and talking about this documentary, I think this actually has the lasting impact it earned. Green Book It won best picture, I guess I’ll talk about it. As a movie, Green Book is fine. It’s well made with some good acting, I’ll allow it being considered good. Is it racist? I’d say probably not but it does definitely feel racist. Kinda like that scene from The Office where Michael Scott does his Chris Rock impression; you know he’s not racist and he doesn’t mean for it to come across as it but it still absolutely does. Considering the message of the story is “don’t be racist/homophobic,” I’m pretty sure that it’s not racist/homophobic, it just doesn’t know how to say it without coming across as such. My real big issue is with it winning the same year that had Roma and Can You Ever Forgive Me?, it had no business even being nominated. But outside of all of that, Green Book is an okay movie. Mid90s The 2010s owes a ton to Jonah Hill and I don’t think most people realized that. He told studios how to translate old properties to a modern audience with 21 Jump Street, showed how comedians can combine their sense of humor with the serious setting around them in The Wolf Of Wall Street, and most importantly to this entry, showed how coming of age stories should be told in this day and age with Superbad. Ever since, for better or worse, coming of age films have been trying to recreate that magic. The closest to get it right, in my opinion, is The Edge Of Seventeen but still goes wrong by being much much better, but Mid90s does some really great stuff as well. I appreciate any theatrical film that’s willing to be filmed in a way that doesn’t look theatrical at all. And I also appreciate the likable but very flawed characters portrayed. Mid90s really left a mark in my mind and is a great start to Jonah Hills directorial career. Aggretsuko: We Wish You A Metal Christmas And for my pick of short film of the year, let’s talk about what might be my favorite Netflix series, Aggretsuko! As a cradle between season one to season two, this does a great job at portraying these super relatable characters in a very entertaining scenario all set during Christmas! Maybe it’d make more sense to give this honor to something more impactful like A Sister or clever like I’m Poppy: The Film or even a nice surprise like Harvey Birdman, Attorney General, but no. I refuse. I enjoyed A Very Merry Aggretsuko Christmas much more. Book Club Considering how I’ve spent literally every Worst Of list talking about how awful Fifty Shades Of Grey is, even that year it took off I ended up watching and bitching about Fifty Shades Of Black, I’d like to talk about what is easily the best film to come out of this franchise. Book Club is basically a bunch of old lady celebrities getting together, reading the Fifty Shades books, and talking about their sex lives. It’s like a feature length Gilmore Girls movie and I loved not only the idea, but the film itself was hilarious. I enjoyed the hell out of it. Black Mirror: Bandersnatch As a die hard Black Mirror fanatic, of course I was excited for a full Black Mirror movie with, from what I’ve heard, five hours worth of footage. Especially since its story was told in such a fascinating and unique way, I was interested as hell into this and I loved it! I’ve loved select your own adventure books and games for a long time now, from Detroit: Become Human to Gravity Falls: Dipper and Mabel and the Curse of the Time Pirates' Treasure!: A "Select Your Own Choose-Venture!". So one set in the well established and amazingly well put together world of Netflix’s British Twilight Zone, sounds incredible and it was! It’s just so cool! Bumblebee Laika didn’t have a movie in 2018, but I feel like we still did with Bumblebee. Getting Travis Knight, the director of Kubo And The Two Strings, objectively their best picture, to do a Transformers entry is ingenious! If anyone should know how a creature like this would move and how to differentiate any one robot from another robot, it’s an acclaimed director from Laika. Now that we’ve finally pried this franchise from Michael Bay’s claws and Paramount playing it smart with their directors, maybe we’ll finally get a series of good Transformers films... or maybe Transformers 7 is cancelled and all hope is lost. #1. Hereditary I think the 2010s get a bad wrap when it comes to horror. All too often I hear Gen X-ers proclaiming how, “there’s no good scary movies anymore!” Completely forgetting hits like The Cloverfield Paradox, A Quiet Place, and The First Purge. Every new trend of a certain genre can usually be traced back to one major film: 1930s had Frankenstein, 1980s had Halloween (BTW, the 2018 one is also great), 2000s had The Blair Witch Project, etc. I think this new trend of mixing slow and suspenseful with big jump scares and everything is dark can be thanks largely to The Conjuring. While that franchise might have started the trend, I feel pretty certain that Hereditary perfected it. Every scare is at least mildly horrifying, the loops it throws you through is abundant, at no point are you sure what’s going on, and by the end, you find yourself breathing much heavier than you remember doing. Hereditary is a trip and a half that I loved going through again and again. I think when people think back to what was the best horror film of each decade: 1930s Dracula, 1980s The Shining, 2000s The Ring, 2010s Hereditary. I loved this movie in all its horrific glory.

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celticheartedfangirl · 7 years

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It’s Bobby Sunday! Are you ready to dance????

Yes, today’s Bobby Sunday we are watching Marilyn Hotchkiss’ Ballroom Dancing and Charm School.

You know . . . . . after watching this today, I have to say I didn’t pay much attention to many of the details the other umpteen times I watched. Or maybe I just watched Bobby dancing and having sex in the bakery?

(gif originally posted by fairytaleasoldastime)

Put your pants on Frank! (Or not. Not is good too.)

You know . . . . before I get into this . . . . this movie is just fuck ton FULL of hard core talent. Of course there’s BAFTA winning Bobby, but it’s also loaded up with Golden Globe nominees and winners, Emmy nominees and winners (Bobby is also an Emmy nominee), and three . . . . yes THREE . . . Academy Award winning actresses (Mary Steenburgen, Marisa Tomei, and Octavia Spencer). I mean, look at this freaking cast list:

So why the hell did this movie tank at the box office????

The story itself I guess is -- I don’t know -- kinda cheesy? No, really -- how do you market this one? I think that was the problem. But I realize it’s very sweet now that I’ve watched it again. I mean, not the part in the end where we find out that John Goodman’s character actually just got out of jail and was driving a stolen car that he hotwired, but . . . . . it’s really a story about learning to live -- and love again. And it’s one of Bobby’s few romantic leading men roles. (He needs more of those! No seriously -- he needs more of those!)

Frank Keane is a depressed man who is basically sleepwalking through life. He is a baker, his wife committed suicide, and for the first half of the film, Frank is practically catatonic, keeping his distance from others and speaking barely two words at a time. (By the way, what accent is Bobby going for in this one? Irish, maybe? I could never pinpoint it. It just doesn’t sound American, he still has a brogue, but it’s definitely not Scottish.)

He meets Steve, played by John Goodman, who is the victim of a fatal car crash. As Steve is dying, he asks Frank to go to the Marilyn Hotchkiss Ballroom Dancing and Charm School that night to meet a girl he was supposed to meet there, a promise he made decades earlier.

At the dance school, Frank confronts his own demons and a douchebag bully played by Donnie Wahlberg. (Who even gets a redemption of sorts in the end. Everyone does. Except for Steve. He’s dead. Or maybe his leading Frank to his redemption was Steve’s redemption???? Hmmmm . . . . . .)

Frank connects with Meredith, played by Marisa Tomei, who appears to be an abused girlfriend but actually she’s an abused stepsister. (Nope, not making that up. Again -- how the hell do you market this???) I really would have liked to have seen more of them but you know -- them having sex on the bread table was pretty awesome so I’ll just be happy with that.

I couldn’t find or make a gif of this scene so just watch the thing here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGirHdbF-x0

The dialogue is dubbed in either Spanish or Italian but let’s be real -- you’re not watching this scene for conversation.

I’ll admit . . . . . the fact that Bobby took this role puzzles me to this day. I mean . . . other than “I need a paycheck” . . . . . what drew him to this one? Not that I’m disappointed, and it IS a sweet story but -- just not his typical fare? Maybe that’s why? Trying something different?

This was the first movie of Bobby’s that I watched once I got into him as an actor and wanted to see what else he had done. I’m not sure why I picked this one either. But I’m glad I did. Frank is just so sweet and woobie and you just want to hug him. I’m not sure I’d have wanted to investigate deeper into his film repertoire if I had started with, say, Col. Ives or Hitler or Sergei. So this one was a good starting point for me, and it was nice to revisit this film.

One thing I didn’t notice before that I noticed this time around -- Frank not only had a dead wife, he had a DEAD DOG named Baguette! Every morning when he woke up, he’d say good morning to his wife’s urn, then to his dog’s urn. And when he finally spread his wife’s ashes, he still kept the dog’s urn and said good morning to the dog. How the hell did I miss that???? And did the wife kill the dog too? Man, that’s a downer of a thought. Sorry about that. Here, have a Woobie Frank to cheer you up . . . . .

Okay that probably didn’t help. How about this?

Much better.

So, anyone have any thoughts to share? Feel free to reblog and share or create your own post!

Next weekend, I’ll be doing something radical . . . . . . . I’ll be watching something of Bobby’s that I have not yet watched! I’ve made quite an effort over the past several years to pour through this man’s catalog, but I have many things still left. I’m going to tick one of those boxes next Sunday, and I hope you’ll join me! Stay tuned on for the reveal of next weekend’s Bobby Sunday watch later this week! Until then . . . . keep dancing!

#bobby sunday #robert carlyle

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mundaneapocalypse · 7 years

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The Wedding Story

Most of Mark’s friends in Latvia could not come to the wedding, but his best friend, Aleksandr, was the best man. Mark borrowed from my side, like Mom to be his mom at the dance, and some of his friends were groomsmen. Erik was another groomsman. Mark has tons of friends, for an introvert, and many of them came. Because he is already family, neither of us had sides of the church. People just sat down where they wanted.

Ruth was my maid-of-honor, my cousins Amanda and Natalie bridesmaids, and best friend Madison a bridesmaid. They had really pretty floor-length pink dresses. Ruth’s was a different style and the same color, but fancier. We did our own make-up and painted our nails (theirs were pink and mine were rose gold), and I did their hair, but Mom and I had to get our hair done because I could do it, but not as well as it should have been done.

I organized everything and Ruth enforced that it actually happened when it was supposed to.

Mark built the pavilion and tables (pretty rough ones covered up with tablecloths), found the chairs to rent, spraypainted the vases and things, and sewed the tablecloths and bunting. He also took care of the music, photographer, and almost went to Latvia to help Aleksandr figure out how to get here. Latvia does not like people to leave, but thankfully Mark only had to spend about twenty hours on the phone with three different departments with Aleksandr on another line to get his passport and things.

The poles were the “twinkle skeleton”— round wooden posts connected at the top and set into the ground spray-painted rose gold and draped with white gauze and strung with white Christmas lights, and set the walkway down to the bottom of the hill (concrete slabs spray-painted rose gold). There were hydrangeas around the tops of the poles and the upswoops of the gauze with pink ribbon.

By “Mark built,” I do mean he built. He drew the plans (and this man does not plan), built a foundation that is apparently not technically a foundation, but more like the thing wooden sidewalks are built on, by himself. Then he got our cousins and uncles over with promises of beer and hamburgers and convinced them to help nail down the floorboards. Then he figured out how to keep the poles from swaying in the wind or from people leaning on them.

Also, now my parents have a completely useless wooden structure in their yard that can’t be burned because of the pinewood and varnish.

Mom and I decorated, and we spent about three hours the day of the ceremony arranging the church flowers. The church had white hydrangeas tied with pink ribbon to the pews and there were some copper vases with hydrangeas and pink peonies for the altar and steps. Then after the service, the copper vases moved to the reception to be in front of the poles. The church music was on the organ by Janice or from a CD: Appalachian Spring for the prelude, the processional “St. Anthony Chorale” by Haydn, the bridal march “Canon in D” by Pachebel, the hymns “Great is Thy Faithfulness” and “Morning Has Broken” and at the signing, “One Hand, One Heart” from West Side Story, the recessional “Wedding March” from The Marriage of Figaro, and for the postlude, “Sinfonia” by Bach, “Spring” by Vivaldi, and “Bridal Chorus” from Lohengrin. The readings were Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Genesis 2:18-24, and John 17:20-26. And, I said, “serve, honor, and obey” and Mark said, “love, cherish, and provide for.”

Mark and I did not see each other before the wedding, so the photographer took most of the pictures before the ceremony, and the rest after. Everybody also had to drive half an hour from the church to the reception, which gave us a little more time.

For the reception, we used plenty of candlewick dishes that Mark and I kept afterwards for our nice dishes and we were collecting for a couple years. Weddings tend to have a lot of silver, but Mark and I can’t use silver and neither could some of the guests or our future guests, so the serving utensils were plated rose gold, and the silverware was plastic pretending to look like fancy rose gold.

We could not use silver for anything because Fae were coming to the wedding and it is polite not to burn your guests.

Because peonies and hydrangeas wilt quickly, the ones in the reception that were not in water could not be arranged until the ceremony, and we had to get a florist to do it. Tables had glasses of ice water, and assorted nuts in little pink bags for favors, and guests could also take the peonies on their napkins home. Also, the compost looks spectacular. I had not thought about the wilting before hand. They looked a little brown in the end, but by the end, it was dark.

My aunts cooked, but because it was early afternoon and supper would be later, we had some cheese, dips, crackers, fruits, and vegetables, all made and arranged on Friday, except for the crackers, which they opened that day. We had no alcohol, but soda (individual bottles of raspberry, strawberry, sprite), coffee (decaf or caffeinated), hot tea (decaf English Breakfast, Earl Grey, and green tea), and iced tea (sweet or unsweetened).

Then there were more dips, crackers, fruits, and vegetables on the buffet, and non-alcoholic cranberry cuties, Shirley Temples, sparkling white grape juice, and punch I invented with white grape juice, Sprite, and strawberry juice. For supper, we had sandwiches people made themselves (white buns, roast beef, chicken salad, pulled pork, egg salad, American cheese, Swiss cheese, mustard, mayonnaise, shredded lettuce, sliced tomatoes, sliced onions, dill pickles) and finger foods (cream cheese olive pinwheels, meat balls, devilled eggs, prosciutto, mini crab cakes (packaged), and crostini). I ate without caring that I was worried. Everything except the drinks, crostini, meat balls, and crab cakes were ready the day before, but all the ingredients were prepared on Friday.

Aleksandr’s English is basic and he has a very thick accent. Because of those, he did not want to give a best man’s speech, but apparently Ruth scared him, and Mark helped him translate from Latvian to English ahead of time. He did a good job and it was sweet.

Then I gave the veil away. This is a Latvian tradition, mičošana, where the bride gives the veil away and officially she and the groom become husband and wife. Mark and I did not want to stay up until midnight, and Ruth explained that was the usual way, but we would pretend 5:30 was midnight. We also did not sit on Mom and Dad’s laps. Mom took off my veil and put it in a box and tied an apron around me. Dad gave Mark a pipe. This means we are officially not children living at home and have our own households. Then Mark and I read what our roles would be and they were roughly the same as they have been.

Instead of throwing the bouquet, I gave it away to the longest-married couple. Ruth asked the married guests, “Who has been married for more than twenty-five years?” then increased the number gradually to, “More than sixty?” They were Harold and Florence Metzger, family friends from church, at sixty-two years.

The cake and, because Mark wanted cookies, the cookies, were from a bakery, and the ice cream from Kroger because that obviously goes with cake and for some reason weddings completely miss that basic fact of life. At Mom’s pushing, the cake was four layers, and it was worth it. The first layer was pink champagne, which I had once and loved, the second vanilla, the third strawberry, and the fourth white chocolate. Ice cream was rocky road, vanilla, or strawberry, and Mark’s cookies were chocolate macarons, lemon cookies, and chocolate chip cookies. I mean, every party you attend since you are conceived has cake and ice cream, but at a wedding, you just leave it in the freezer? It makes no sense.

Last was the dancing and Mark and I were almost peopled out. Mark and I danced to “At Last I See the Light” from Tangled, which confused some of our kid friends, one of whom said, “Grown-ups don’t like Disney movies!” We do. Mark and Mom danced to “Try to Remember” from The Fantasticks, and the dance with Dad was, “Sunrise, Sunset”. Then Mark and I hung out a little longer, changed inside, and went off in the VW to the Grand Canyon.

Mark and I wanted the wedding to be elegant and fancy without spending more than $5,000, and we failed, but tried, and achieved the first two goals pretty reasonably. Having lots of the dishes before hand, using a playlist instead of a band, having the reception in the back yard, arranging the flowers, and making the food helped a lot. The biggest expenses were the rings and other jewelry (including bridesmaids), clothing, and food (drinks, ingredients, cake, cookies, ice cream), and then decorations (including flowers), photography, and invitations. It ended up being about $8,000, but Mom and Dad said that they expected that.

We actually spent the night in a hotel in Ashland and are driving late today. We have a week for the honeymoon and are moseying around to parks and sights along the way.

And we are not working. If anything weird happens, we are not investigating.

#VW Travels #wedding #Lucy posts

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photolover82 · 4 years

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The Masked Singer Season 3 Episode 10: It’s Super 9 Time! (April Fools Episode Commentary and Guesses)

Hi my fellow Masked Singer peeps! It’s finally Super 9 time! Nick Cannon has been talking about this for forever and everyone wants to be here... so here we are! Half of the contestants are gone and now we have 9 left (well after this post it’s 8, but you get the picture). So, since I have so many to cover (9 is way harder than 5 or 6 when it comes to detail), I am going to follow a tighter format with me only mentioning the Super Clue and April Fool’s clue after the performance. I will also mention judges’ guesses just bc most of my guesses haven’t changed (except 1, you’ll see). Ok, so let’s get started...

Disclaimer: There will be a ton of spoilers so don’t read if you haven’t caught up on the show. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.

So, how the Super 9 works was that each group (A,B, and C) performs and of the 3 contestants, the ones who were in the bottom 3 were: White Tiger for Group A, Banana for Group B, and Rhino for Group C.

Of those bottom 3, the one with the least votes who went home/got unmasked was:

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

White Tiger

Ya, so is anyone really surprised at this point? His performance was um, ya, um... let’s just say my thought after watching was wtf man. I was a bit uncomfortable and hoping for it to end. He sang “I’m too Sexy” by Right Said Fred and let’s just say it was the strangest (and not in a good way) performance I have ever seen. Having said that, I have known for weeks who he is....

So White Tiger was revealed to be...

ROB GRONKOWSKI (AKA GRONK)

Super Clue: He was doing the floss dance and shooting a basketball while saying “Swish Swish.” Gronk appeared in Katy Perry’s Swish Swish music video, which also featured the Backpack Kid who popularized the floss dance. April Fools Clue: “I’m just not bronze, I’m brains. I even wrote a best selling book.” Gronk wrote a book called “It’s Good to be Gronk.”

Judges’ Guesses:

Jenny and Robin: Rob Gronkowski (they were right yay, thank God, finally the judges got it... well at least some of them)

Ken: J.J. Watt (sigh... Ken is always wrong... not shocked)

Nichole: Joe Maginello/John Cena (both wrong... sigh... Nichole is turning into Ken with the terrible guesses)

Alrighty, now that we are done with that, let’s talk about the remaining 8 contestants in the order they performed:

1. Turtle

Performance: Omg you guys know how in love I am with the Turtle and I was so happy and excited to see him perform once more, I really want him to win. In this performance, he sang Higher Love by Steve Winwood. I honestly loved it, it was amazing! He looked so cool and effortless maneuvering the stage. Also, it showed a lot of his vocal potential and I want to see more of what he can do with his falsetto and hitting the high notes, because he just gets better and better. Can’t you tell I just love him?

Anyways, having said that, my guess still stands as:

JESSE MCCARTNEY

Super Clue: Shown was a comic book titled “The Amazing Adventures of Shellboy” and it was priced at $10.13. He voices Robin in the animated series based on the comic book “Young Justice,” and it aired from 2010-2013, but it got renewed again in 2019.

April Fools Clue: “I am not just known for one thing.” This one is too easy, he is not just a musician but is also an actor in various roles in both film and TV.

Judges’ Guesses:

Robin: Drew Lachey (ya, wtf, no)

Ken: Brian Littrell (again, no... too simple to go the boy band route)

Nichole: Nick Lachey (ok, Nichole, that was just lazy, going off of Robin and picking the sibling, again I say wtf no)

Jenny: Chris Evans (woah, that one was way off of left field Jenny, almost a Ken guess)

2. Kangaroo

Performance: Ok, she isn’t my favorite ngl, but I can’t deny she is really good in terms of voice. However, this performance was not her best. Her voice was pretty shaky. The song, which was Not Ready to Make Nice by the Dixie Chicks, didn’t really show her entire vocal range I feel, but honestly if it is who I think it is, that’s a low key shady song choice, but I get the shade so I'm not mad.

The person that I am referring to as my guess is:

JORDYN WOODS

Super Clue: Inflatable Kangaroo came out of her pouch and she said “alright dolls” = the inflatable kangaroo could be a reference to her younger sister who she refers to as her “mini-me” and the dolls reference is when she played a doll in Justin Roberts’s music video

April Fools Clue: “I may be a kangaroo but I have never lived in Australia.” yup, self explanatory, the girl ain’t from Australia, and has never lived there.

Judges’ Guesses:

Jenny: Amber Rose (holy crap, that was painfully close, especially with the Kardashian drama and connection she mentioned as her reasoning for her guess)

Nichole: Leann Rimes (yikes, another really bad guess)

Robin: India Arie (idk who she is, but seems like an ok guess)

3. Kitty

Performance: Ok, ok, this is the one that I changed my mind about and it was such a hard pill to swallow to suck it up and say I am wrong and the Internet is right about this one. Every time I put my old guess on YT, (Lucy Hale) I always get “NO, IT’S *insert person I am about to mention in a moment*” and a bunch of people trying to convince me and I finally caved and agreed but that was because of one specific clue in particular, but we will get into that later. Her performance of Celine Dion’s “It's all coming back to me now” was so powerful and strong as are every Celine Dion song ever but to me it was her best performance to date and now I am clear on this new guess...

The new guess I have for Kitty that the Internet has nagged me about is:

JACKIE EVANCHO (she’s from AGT, she sang opera as a like 7-year-old, well that’s how I remember her)

Super Clue: The Tree from Season 2 and her saying “Christmas is the most wonderful time of year” = she has 3 Christmas albums

April Fools Clue: “I wasn’t dreaming when Robert Redford helped me get my first role.” = he got her the role in The Company You Keep when she was 12 years old.

Judges’ Guesses:

Robin: Emma Roberts (no... that doesn’t sound like Emma’s voice)

Jenny: Vanessa Hudgens (Vanessa can’t sing like that either)

Nichole: Nichole Richie (Really? Ya, I don’t think so.)

Ken: Avril Lavigne (You’re kidding, right?)

4. Banana

Performance: Ok, so this performance was much different from his previous ones. I feel like he is starting to show more of his true self and not hiding his voice as much. With the song “Sweet Home Alabama” by Lynyrd Skynyrd, he showed more rasp in his voice than he did before which kind of made it more obvious to who it could be.

That ever so obvious guess for Banana is...

BRET MICHAELS

Super Clue: A mullet was shown and Bret Michaels isn’t a stranger to the mullet, it’s a signature to his image

April Fools Clue: “Blue collar means many things. I’m a funny guy, but not stand-up funny.” Ya, easy again, Bret Michaels is the lead singer of Poison and he does have a sense of humor, but he isn’t a comedian nor has he done stand-up at all.

Judges’ Guesses:

Ken & Nichole: Brad Paisley (not their worst guess, but it’s too country of a singer... Banana fuses the country with a bit of rock)

Jenny: Bret Michaels (she’s getting it... yay Jenny is catching on)

Robin: Billy Ray Cyrus (see, this would have been a good guess, if he hadn’t have sung a Billy Ray Cyrus song in a previous round)

5. Frog

Performance: He sang “Jump” by Kris Kross and again he isn’t my favorite but he is pretty entertaining. For some reason, he is my mom and my friend’s favorite, which I don’t get. Whatever, anyways, this performance was fun and energetic and he is a great rapper/dancer what can I say? I feel the same way about him as I did about Kangaroo. Anyways, he is to easy to figure out...

My guess for Frog is still...

BOW WOW (aka Chad Moss)

Super Clue: Knight Armor= he was in a movie where he was a basketball player for the LA Knights

April Fools Clue: “I am actually not a trained dancer at all.” = ya, duh, he’s never been known for being one either.

Judges’ Guesses:

Ken: Sisqo (what? just because of one irrelevant clue, you choose that Ken... le sigh)

Jenny: Lil Romeo (meh... I guess that’s kinda close but no)

Robin: Omarion (again, like Jenny’s guess... kinda close but not there yet)

6. Night Angel

Performance: With her performance of Rise Up by Andrea Day (which is A+ song choice), she proves that she is one of the strongest vocally in the competition. However, that's it, she doesn't dance or entertain as much as some of the other contestants do. Nevertheless, she has an insane vocal range and I still am sticking with my gut on this one...

I am convinced Night Angel is....

Kandi Burruss

Super Clue: Tricycle= reference to either her 3 kids or her high school, Tri-Cities High School (or both who knows?)

April Fools Clue: “I am not just a voice, I am a mogul.” yup, self-explanatory, this lady does it all. She has a restaurant, a makeup line, a line of adult toys (let’s say that to keep it clean and PG) and has done multiple spin-offs of RHOA following her life, so mogul indeed.

Judges’ Guesses:

Ken: Tiesha Campbell (not the worst guess from Ken but still it’s a no from me)

Jenny: Brandi (idk man.... idk who that is)

Robin: Tamar Braxton (omg so close yet so far)

7. Rhino

Performance: Ok, so he was trying to be upbeat with What a Man Gotta Do by Jonas Brothers and I appreciate the effort, it wasn’t bad by any means. He does have a fantastic voice, but this was not his strongest performance. He did do a little dance move there and it was kind of everything ngl, but his strength is ballads. They just fit his tone so much better, but having said that, he took me a while to figure out but I feel good about my guess...

I feel like the Rhino is...

BARRY ZITO

Super Clue: A Slot Machine= he was born in Las Vegas (and he also got a baseball move called the three-quarter slot or something like that but I don't know sports so I am not good at these kind of things)

April Fools Clue: “I am not nearly as tall as you think I am.” The Rhino mask is as tall as White Tiger (Gronk is 6 feet 6 inches for comparison) but the mask adds more height to Barry Zito, who is only 6′ 2″

Judges’ Guesses:

Nichole: Vince Gill (meh... that’s a pretty ok guess but ya not there yet)

Jenny: Derek Jeter (what?! I get baseball referencing but he can’t sing, he has no albums, come on Jenny do better)

Robin: Duff McKavin from Guns N’ Roses (pretty ok of a guess too, but think less rock, more country... this would have been a more suitable guess for Banana)

8. Astronaut

Performance: Last but not least, another favorite of mine, we are starting off with a favorite and ending with another one. He freaking Rick rolled everyone (Google it if you don’t get the whole Rick Roll thing.. too long of a post to explain) with “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Ashely, but it was the best Rick Roll ever like I can listen to his voice sing anything (objectively it’s a pretty darn good song if you remove the meme aspect to it). Damn, bro, like his falsetto in the song was amazing. Like I said for Turtle, I wanna see more of his range. Also, like he freaking spoke in his performance unfiltered voice and everything and it was so obvious who it is like how are the judges not getting this?

The lovely guy I think the Astronaut is (yes I have a soft spot for the Astronaut, don’t make fun of me)...

Hunter Hayes (and mind you, I also have a soft spot for him too)

Super Clue: Holding a record with a world on it breaking (breaking a world record)= we already spoke about this earlier but refresher this guy right here Mr. Hunter Hayes, ya him, broke the Guinness World Record for playing the most shows in most cities in 24 hours, with 10 being the number of cities he played

April Fools Clue: “I’ve never had traditional voice training” = easy, Hunter has said this in many interviews in the past and recently had issues with his voice so he got a vocal coach to fix it

Judges’ Guesses:

Ken: JC Chasez from NSYNC (really Ken? Boy Bands again? Are you really that basic and that clueless?)

Jenny: David Archuleta (not bad of a guess, pretty ok, but the voices don’t really match up)

Nichole: Ryan Tedder (again, not bad, but it is too obvious that it is like mind blowing they aren’t getting it)

Ok, so ya wow that was a lot! I did it tho! This was my recap, sorry for the length, but I hope you enjoyed. See you in the next one! So excited to see what they will be doing next!

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aion-rsa · 7 years

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Johnston & Perkins Prepare For Atomic Blonde’s Coldest Winter

Antony Johnston has written more than thirty comics-slash-graphic novels, including “Wasteland,” “The Fuse” and “Codename Baboushka.” He’s also written video games like “Dead Space” and “Shadow of Mordor,” and hosts the podcast Unjustly Maligned. Steven Perkins is the artist of many comics including “Se7en,” “Heresy” and various “CSI” projects. He also wrote and drew the graphic novel “Pacify,” which was published by Image Comics. Their latest project, out now from Oni Press, is “The Coldest Winter.”

Johnston and artist Sam Hart’s 2012 graphic novel “The Coldest City” was a realistic spy thriller set in Berlin. This year, the film adaptation – titled “Atomic Blonde” – will be released, starring Charlize Theron, James McAvoy, John Goodman and directed by David Leitch (“John Wick”). Before that, Oni Press is releasing a prequel to the book. “The Coldest Winter,” written by Johnston and illustrated by Steven Perkins, set in 1981 Berlin, during one of the most brutal winters on record and featuring one of the key characters from the first book.

Antony, could you talk about “The Coldest City” for people who are coming to it for the first time

Antony Johnston: Sure. “The Coldest City” is a Cold War spy thriller set in 1989, just two weeks before the Berlin Wall came down. A British spy is killed crossing from East to West Berlin, while carrying a list of spies in the city. Now the list is missing, and MI6 don’t know who they can trust — so they send in Lorraine Broughton, a veteran officer with no ties to Berlin, to find out the truth in the social powder keg of the divided city. Things get – messy.

I’m a big fan of classic Cold War spy fiction, especially the more realistic writers like John Le Carré, Len Deighton, and Ian Mackintosh. “The Coldest City” was my attempt to revitalize that area using the medium I know best — graphic novels.

So what is “The Coldest Winter?”

Johnston: “The Coldest Winter” is the second book in the “Coldest series,” but takes place eight years before the first and focuses on David Perceval — who in “The Coldest City” is the shadowy MI6 chief in Berlin, but here is a newly-arrived spy in the city. And he’s not making a very good job of it; in fact, he’s about to be sent back to England after one too many botched jobs.

But before he goes, there’s the small matter of a high-ranking Soviet scientist who wants to defect — during a winter so severe that travel in or out of the city is impossible. So now Perceval has to keep the scientist safe from the KGB, improvising a game of cat and mouse through a frozen city, all the while plotting revenge. With this book, I really wanted to give some context to Perceval’s character, and his personality in “The Coldest City.” Frankly, in that book he’s a fairly unpleasant man. “The Coldest Winter” helps explain why.

Steven at what stage of things did you come onto the project?

Steven Perkins: When Oni asked me if I would like to work on the book, the script was finished and the project was ready to go. I loved “The Coldest City” and the script for “The Coldest Winter” was fantastic, so I was really excited about the opportunity to work with Antony and with the fine folks at Oni. It’s a big book — 184 pages — and a period-specific story, so it seemed like a real challenge artistically which made it even more exciting to work on.

How much of the time and energy on a book like this is spent on research and getting the details right?

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Johnston: Quite a bit, because it’s both a mystery and historical fiction, and both of those things rely on verisimilitude and an attention to detail to keep the reader immersed, to not accidentally jolt them out of the story. What I try to do is use those historical details, and the interlocked nature of a mystery plot, to my advantage; probably the biggest example in “The Coldest Winter” is the entire setting for the book, the heavy blizzard-filled winter that descended on Europe at the end of 1981. That really happened, and it really did shut down roads, trains, and airlines. So I made it the foundation of the whole story. If you can make those details overt, deliberate parts of the story, and rely on people paying attention, it makes for a better book and a better experience for the reader.

Perkins: Getting the details right was very important to me, too. I was still in diapers in 1981, so I had to rely on a lot of research and reference to avoid any anachronisms – particularly with the cars, military uniforms, and technology. Also, “1980’s Cold War History” would definitely not be my strong suit on Jeopardy, but luckily right before I was invited to work on the project, I had been helping an artist friend with backgrounds for his book which also took place in 1980’s Berlin – so coincidentally, I had just finished doing tons of research on the exact time and place needed for “The Coldest Winter” right before I started.

Johnston: Ha! I didn’t know that. What a crazy stroke of good luck.

When working on a prequel like this, are you thinking that it has to look or feel like the original, that it should be separate and have its own identity. Steven you didn’t draw the first book so I’m sure you have a different sort of answer than Antony, but how did both of you approach the book?

Johnston: Well, “look” and “feel” are two separate things. Steven’s art is very different to Sam Hart’s, but they both have that lovely stark, noir-ish quality to them; and of course the story itself, the pacing and dialogue, definitely has the same kind of feel as “The Coldest City,” because that to me is the style of the series. But the stories are quite different, and each book retains its own identity; you don’t need to have read either of them to enjoy the other, and the same will be true of the third book.

Perkins: I think Sam Hart’s work on “The Coldest City” is outstanding, so I felt like I had a lot to live up to with “The Coldest Winter.” I’ve always wanted to do a full book in straight black and white — in the past, all of my black and white work had gray tones, which makes it much easier to render objects and people. Working with only black and white is a challenge, but it also serves to make an artist need to be more creative — it’s like having only two tools instead of a full tool set to accomplish the same result. You end up learning more and, in my opinion, doing better and more rewarding work. Plus, it opens the door to doing very minimal, graphic work which can achieve results, particularly with snow, that are much more striking than when rendered with tones or color. Also, some of my favorite comic book artists — Mike Mignola, Frank Miller, Alberto Breccia — are well known for their mastery of black and white minimalism, so I studied their work obsessively and learned a lot in the process.

Was it hard to get 1981-82 right?

Johnston: Not that hard for me, but I have the unfair advantage of growing up in 1970s Europe!

Perkins: I hope I did get it right! The internet is a Godsend for artistic and historical reference, and so it was very helpful to be able to watch footage from 1980’s Germany on YouTube, or find thousands of photos of the Berlin Wall with a Google search.

Antony, rereading “The Coldest City,” there was a line that jumped out at me when characters are discussing the end of the Cold War – “Russia will always be Russia.”

Johnston: And how prophetic that turned out to be!

I have to ask about the movie version of “The Coldest City,” which is coming out soon. Do you want to say anything about “Atomic Blonde,” Antony?

Johnston: “Atomic Blonde” is based on the first graphic novel in the series, starring Charlize Theron, James McAvoy, John Goodman, Sophia Boutella, Toby Jones and more. The screenplay was adapted by Kurt Johnstad, and for director we landed David Leitch, who co-directed “John Wick” and recently signed on to “Deadpool 2.” I mean, the talent list is kind of ridiculous, just packed with great people.

It opens July 28, and there’ll be a lot more news coming over the next few months. I can’t wait.

I recently finished a new novel, hopefully the first in a series, and I’ll have more to say about that soon; I’m halfway through scripting the next series of “Codename Baboushka” for Image; I’m planning a new fantasy project with an old friend; an indie videogame I worked on, “Blackwood Crossing,” is set to debut imminently; and there are more screen projects, both movies and TV, that are sort of bubbling under. I like to keep busy.

Perkins: I have a handful of creator-owned comic book projects of my own and with other writers that I am trying to get off the ground, so whichever one lifts off first will be my next project. In the meantime, I’ve been busy with motion comics and comic book work, but am not allowed to mention any specifics just yet. I’ve also been filling in gaps with some storyboard and visual effects work for film as well.

Antony, do you still have plans for a third book – or more – in the Coldest series?

Johnston: Absolutely, and I’ve already begun preliminary work. It’ll bring the focus back to Lorraine Broughton again, but beyond that my lips are sealed. Walls have ears, you know.

The post Johnston & Perkins Prepare For Atomic Blonde’s Coldest Winter appeared first on CBR.com.

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movietvtechgeeks · 7 years

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Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/steve-young-say-49ers-john-lynch/

Steve Young has his say on 49ers and John Lynch

San Francisco 49ers Step Outside the Norm Hiring John Lynch as General Manager, Plan to Pair him with Kyle Shanahan

The San Francisco 49ers have struggled since head coach Jim Harbaugh left after the 2014 NFL season. The Niners played in three NFC Championship Games and Super Bowl XLVII under Harbaugh; however, the team has managed only seven wins in the two years since under coaches Jim Tomsula and Chip Kelly.

49ers CEO Jed York grew accustomed to winning under Harbaugh, and the poor performances over the past two seasons have both led to firings. Now, York is reaching outside of the box in an effort to get back to winning, hiring former NFL safety and FOX analyst John Lynch as general manager.

Lynch, a finalist for the Pro Football Hall of Fame Class of 2017, helped lead the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to a Super Bowl championship back in 2002. Though he has never held a front office position with a professional football team, Lynch received a six-year deal. York plans to pair him with Atlanta Falcons offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan, who is expected to be announced as the 49ers’ next head coach as early as Monday after Super Bowl LI.

“Nothing is guaranteed,” said York of the unprecedented hiring of Lynch. “But so many opportunities are missed in the NFL because people don’t want to do something different. We’re okay with that because I am confident in Kyle and John. John has watched John Elway and how he’s built a team in Denver. As easy as it is to say he hasn’t built a team yet—I get that—I talk to Kyle, and he says John is the most prepared of all the TV [people] he meets in the production meeting before games. We understand we’ll have to live with growing pains, but I’m willing to do that because I believe the upside with both of them is so great.”

While Lynch may be qualified, there are plenty of more experienced candidates available. York may be reaching too much on this one, but we’ll have to wait and see.

I also closely watched Elway assemble on of the best teams in history. Maybe the Jacksonville Jaguars will hire me.

Steve Young, not shy with words or speaking up and out, had this say about the 49ers bringing on John Lynch.

Bear with me. So the 49ers from ‘81 to ’98 or however you want to say it, people always say those were the glory years, great things happened, great players and Super Bowls and everything else. But fundamentally what happened, what came out of in light, I call it the enlightenment era. For football in general, especially the 49ers, 10, 15 years ahead of everyone else, it’s not just on the field, because we know what the west coast did, we know what Bill [former 49ers head coach Bill Walsh] did, but it was also an era of enlightenment on how we treat players. How we train them. We actually have them drink water. We don’t try to put them in the heat. We travel well, watch out for them.

I’ve said this on the show before, but the first meeting Bill ever had in the fall training camp was, “We’re going to integrate this team.”

And everyone thinks, well that’s racial, I’m sure that’s what he’s talking about.

And he said, “No, I’m going to integrate in every way that keeps people apart. The little cliques that people form where there’s social-economics, geographic, language, religion, what school you went to, what position you play. Everybody hangs out in their group, and if you’re not careful, you’re going to have groups of people that are the team, that don’t know each other. And I’m going to integrate you guys. I’m going to integrate you in the locker room. There’s not going to be putting people in certain places; on the buses, on the planes, or in the lunchroom.”

Long before Marc Benioff made himself famous at salesforce.com for going to the lunchroom and shooing everybody off and going to meet others to integrate, Bill was doing it back in the late eighties. So in many ways, we were forced to get to know each other. You come in as a quarterback between two-a-days, and you’re having lunch and you’re just tired, and Bill would come in and say “Look, you guys gotta…” and you knew what you had to do—you picked up your tray, go over and talk to somebody else, and go meeting them.

Now, it’s not just a number or a name on the back of a jersey. You got to know them, and his feeling was, if everybody is cross-fertilized, then when you’re at Lambeau Field, and it’s down by four in the 4th quarter on 3rd and 10 and you got a 1:25 left, you get in that huddle, and you look at each other. Because football really is unnatural and we talk about this all the time: Why do we play? We play for each other. Ride or die, you know we heard that a lot. So if you’re more integrated, there’s more connective tissue between us? You’ll play better. You’ll be better in those moments. Bill was ahead of the game, well ahead. And what the 49ers did for many many years was well ahead. It was that period of enlightenment.

So what happened was when it ended, people picked up on it. People left with that toolkit. Mike Holmgren goes to Green Bay, Andy Reid gets that toolkit, he understands intuitively what that says and what that means, he goes to Philadelphia now is in Kansas City. Pete Carroll kinda wanders around, he has the toolkit and picks up a little holistic approach in Seattle. It goes on and on. Denver: Mike leaves, takes the toolkit and immediately makes the difference for a team that was really good and wins multiple Super Bowls. As people went out and did this, we in 2000, tended to start to go away from it. We would hire Dennis Erikson. People didn’t have that rootedness in this period of enlightenment. We just didn’t. Mike Singletary epitomized it, the famous player, a linebacker from Chicago. There’s no connectedness at all. It was hard to watch; it was hard to be a part of. Mike Nolan?

Again it’s not about the Super Bowls or even the guys. Stop saying “Ah Steve or Joe or Jerry or anyone else” It’s not about the people. It’s about what was rooted in it. Why it happened. It’s been proven to me since the last 15 years, the teams that took it and really have embraced it have been on the upper echelon for the whole period of time.

Then Jim Harbaugh comes, and Jim Harbaugh is like, I don’t want to say the bastard son, but he’s associated, he knows it, around it, he’s like a distant cousin. He’s around it enough; Stanford, Bill, you could see he understood it intuitively. He had his own take on it. And that’s why, I remember you guys telling me on the air, I was like Hallelujah. So that gets us here. Thanks for letting me build that bridge:

Because John Lynch is one of the best guys I know. Great human being. Fundamentally as a communicator, as a person, really a phenomenal guy. We’re going to make him an honorary Niner. He’s not a Niner, but it’s kind of like me at Stanford. I’ve been on the Stanford Hospital board for 10 years. I go there all the time because I think if I’m over there long enough they’ll think I replaced John Elway. They’ll actually believe I was a part of it. We’re going to bring the same thing for John [Lynch]. He’s now an honorary Niner, because John really does epitomize, and I think he learned a ton of what fell out, came out and rooted out of what the Niners did in those years, that affected what happened in Denver. And I think John Elway takes advantage of that. It feels the same way when I’m in Denver; it feels the same when I’m in Philadelphia especially in Kansas City and Green Bay and Seattle, it feels the same. It feels very much the same in New England. It comes from a different, that’s a whole interesting thing we’ll talk about some day, but it also feels very much like what they do in New England.

So to me, John is a guy, it feels like we’re getting back to that rootedness. And Kyle again, one generation away from Mike who definitely understands that and gets that rootedness as well. That’s why the fans, probably don’t realize this, but that’s why it’s been so hard. Especially people that were around him in that time period. You’re talking about a magical time, it wasn’t necessarily about the guys or the coaches. It was about what we were doing and how unique, and again enlightened it was. It drew people in; the fans were involved we were great communicators. All that works together.

So you’ve got to hope now, that despite it not being a direct relationship — but enough that you’ve got honorary members that understand winning in the league. That rootedness is still dominant wherever it took root. And now, I feel like with this, we can replant it, and see that success.

There’s things I fear because I know people say, “control doesn’t necessarily mean total control.” I think they are going to work together, hopefully, but that’s how it worked out in the past. We hope that does work. I think John will find connections. He’ll figure out ways to make it work, collaborate. Everybody will try to make everybody successful. The truth is, neither guy has had the job, neither guy has a clue on how to be a coach or a general manager. They’ve never done it. So there’s no way to analyze, there’s no way to say “I have an opinion.” You can’t have an opinion; they’re just warming up. They have no idea. Again, I’m sorry to talk so much, but I harken back, what makes me, I’m not going to say emotional, but emotions on what I experienced and how much I wanted to be a part of what we’re doing here. And this is as much as I’ve seen of doing that.

So there you have it, Steve Young summed it all up for both the San Francisco 49ers and John Lynch.

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