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kiwikiwiandkiwi · 10 months

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HARRY BEING HARRY ON TOUR — Love on Tour: UK + Europe Leg, 2023

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luck-of-the-drawings · 22 days

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"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #jrwi suckening spoilers #jrwi the suckening #arthur bennett #HEY SO THE REALLY FUNNY THING THAT THE CHARACTER DID THAT SEEMED RLY SILLY N GOOFY IN THE MOMENT?#LIKE THE WHIPLASH BETWEEN SERIOUS N SILLY ALMOST PISSED YOU OFF? WHAT IF I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SAD ABOUT IT #this was meant to be a scribble that would be a bigger part of a bigger page.might leave it on that page.#but still. bc o that i nearly posted it onto my wacky side blog.BUT NAYY I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME N ENERGY N YOU GOTTA SEE IT #ARTHUR BENNETT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I FEEL LIKE ITS ODD FOR HIM TO BE SO TECHNOLOGICALLY OUT OF TOUCH #WHERE HAS HE BEEN. HAS HE BEEN IN WAR? IS THAT WHERE MAGNUS CAME FROM? WHERE WAS HE WHEN HE WAS WITH EDWARDS CREW?#ARTHURRR I HAVE QUESTIONS ARTTHUUURR!! HEY CAN I ALSO ASK; WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BECOME #DO YOU THINK HE HAD ANY IDEA HE WOULD VEER CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MONSTER HE DESPISES. ALL BC HE DESERVES IT. OR WATEVER #HE FASCINATES ME SO MUCH. TO LOOK AT THE STONE COLD STOIC FOOL FROM THE START OF THE SHOW #AND TO FIND OUT THAT HE USED TO BE A BAD BOY.. A DELINQUENT... A LIL PRANKSTER.... MY GODDD THATS ADORABLE #I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE.... BUT I DOUBT THE LAST EPISODE IS GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS..i love arthur bennett so much....#AS FOR THE ART!! i mostly used the fire alpaca watercolor brush. tbh im not a brush guy. anti aliased default pen tends to be my main game #but LATELY IM SQQQUIRMIN OUT OF AN ARTBLOCK so expirimenting like this is helping #DONT LOOK TOO HARD AT IT!! im still proud tho. colors are fun :3 im also very proud of the backgrounds #I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors #what else can i ramble abt. OH YEAH. i looked up the bikes to make sure they were time accurate tehehehe. 1913 to 2012.#almost a century apart!! isnt that neat? ALSO FUUUCK CAN I JUST MAKE A QUICK CONFESSION. DOWN HERE IN MY TAGS.#only the strongest can read my tags anwyay. SO I REALIZED WHY I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH. TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE #while arthur is a Stoic and Cool vampire w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORs #THERE HAPPENS TO BE A ROBOT FROM A BAND W A TITANIUM ALLOY SPINAL COLLUMN #WHOS A Stoic and Cool ROBOT w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORS #the fuckkkiiinnngggnn The Spine from steam powered giraffe. WHATEVER. i cant escape from my heart. i guess.#i think The Spine and Arthur could be friends. Arthur saw the band perform back when they were the Steam Man Band #EDIT: WOOPS I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WOULD END UP IN THE SPG TAG. HI GUYS DIDNT KNOW U WERE STILL ALIVE SORREE 4 THE CROSS CONTAMINATION

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dungeons-and-dragon-age · 1 month

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Hiii everyone, say, how do your Hawkes go go about sharing their estate? If they do it at all? Is everyone free to come and go or are they more private? Or do they only invite their LI to stay? I'm curious!! :)

#lay rambles #my ocs #oc: liam hawke #oc: lilian hawke #both my hawkes are very social w their friends but i love comparing their boundaries around it #theres variation in rules for specific ppl with both of them ofc but theres still general differences #with liam its all very open and everyone can p much come and go whenever #they dont get extra keys (theyll get lost and he doesnt want randos finding them lol) but they know where to find the spare key #and bodhan and sandal and orana know to let them in whenever #hes very lenient in this this regard but he does have rules abt what he does and doesnt want them to do #mostly its about not making too much of a mess lol bc liam prefers to clean himself #(he doesnt trust the crew with his household and also he has particular ways of doing things and Hates when theyre done differently)#so things like keep your dirty garb at the entrance dont cook by yourselves (this was banned after they did it one (1) time lol) etc #also no fucking allowed. do that somewhere else for the love of the maker he does NOT want to walk into that in his own house #(and it also comes back to liam not trusting them with cleaning but also Not wanting to clean that up lol)#also he is not fond of them going into his room uninvited. most of the house is chill but that is *his* space #he accommodates these rules by e.g. having spare slippers and a little washing basin in the entrance hall for dirty shoes/feet #always makes sure to have snacks in stock that he knows they like #food will have notes abt what to leave for leandra/orana/etc but otherwise food is prepared with his friends in mind #and in general he'll make sure to adjust the space/routine in little ways to accommodate them #(air out when fen isnt there cus he doesnt like drafts; keep curtains open cus anders prefers open spaces; etc)#lilian on the other hand doesnt like when her friends come into the estate without a heads up (cept for emergencies)#but once they have her 'ok' its basically mi casa es su casa #dont yknow. overdo it and get too rowdy but otherwise do whatever #however. she also expects everyone to clean up after themselves. she aint here to play maid and youre all adults #also liam has a general 'please try to not be too wild when leandra is here' and lilian doesnt #not cos she doesnt care but cos leandra is bothered by sth she can speak up herself #oh and lilian uses the basement space as temporary refuge for anyone who needs it (mostly escaped mages)#also side note: both offered gamlen to stay but he refused (out of pride/remorse)#...this got long and i ran out of tag space lmfao so this is it for now xD

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spacedlexi · 6 months

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when u want to like a character so so bad but theyre a cop so its impossible

#sorry even if theyre hot my first thought will always be 'cop' and it kills all desire #slams head thru wall #vi arcane i want to love u so bad......but i look at u and see COP and its over for me 😐#and her cop gf 😐😔#before anybody gets mad at me im just sad 😔 shes great otherwise like she fits my fave types but this wall is insurmountable #she grew up in the SLUMS and they make her an ENFORCER??? die #she was wrongfully imprisoned for like a decade and they make her an enforcer 😐😐😐😐#after finishing arcane i went to read her lore 😐#felt so Liberal 😐😔 weh weh both sides bad type beat #girl its not too late please dont be a cop and cait pls leave the force PLEASE i cant defend you like this #anybody else trapped in this torture prison abt her or is it just me please tell me im not alone in this #every time i see her on my dash it pains me so much like physically mentally....#its ok at least i have my other vi who fights ex military with her gf to avoid becoming soldiers in a pointless war :) blink blink #it speaks #only posting this bc i need to know who else is suffering over this.............. it cant just be me

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agentark · 1 year

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R Verner, opening their mouth: 😎😏😉

S Dorran, milliseconds later: 🤨😑🤔

exhibit a

exhibit b sofia, we're all about to die can you roast ruby later

#sibling behavior #i was making a post about how S is quietly the funniest person in all of Fernweh #and then I realized all my best screenshots were of S and R's back and forth #if S wasn't so polite and courteous no one would be safe #it's tough being the smartest and funniest in town but someone's got to do it 😔#i love both R's obvious sarcasm and S's dry wit - theyre so funny together #and also #i love how they feel like they still interacted after MC leaves fernweh and before the story starts #sometimes you get stories like these where it feels like the main characters stop existing to each other in the between times #like im not under the impression that they had weekly lunch outings or anything but it also doesn't feel like--#--they conveniently started talking again two days before MC and B show up #the way that you talk to friends you've had since you were a kid/teen is so....like you know me in a way no one else does #and that creates a certain familiarity even if you dont interact as often as adults #it also gives you special privileges to mercilessly tease them #fernweh saga #fernweh saga spoilers #if snippets #i started a folder of these moments bc they crack me up so much

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tradingjack · 8 months

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The $$60 Billion Double Dollar Man

#lmao i forgor #listen. i have been drawing. i promise i have #i just uhhh also have a full time job and also have to like. keep myself alive around that somehow #dont leave much time for much else :(#trigun #trimax #vash the stampede #manga panel redraw #drawing #artists on tumblr #illustration #my art #comic #noticed nightow forgets to draw vash's earring and mole a ton just in this first chapter. it's inspiring how inconsistent he is tbh #im gonna try and draw at least one panel of vash for every chapter on one of these little cards. hopefully i have enough i can #hand them out at the next con i go to if i cosplay ww again lol. whenever i get stopped for a pic or something i can offer em

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my-thoughts-and-junk · 8 months

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Anyway prohibitedwish dark medieval mystery drama au. The story is interjected every so often by prismo and scarab arguing over what should happen next

#random thoughts #adventure time #over time scarab learns to accept when things dont go his way (especially when prismo has a very good idea)#and prismo gets help working through his depression through the beauty of creating with another person (euphamism for gay sex lol)#hey prismo why do you want to collab with scarab hmm? to create life with another man? pretty gay it does seem #anyway in the beginning they argue because scarab wants stuff to go his way #and prismo keeps bringing up bad ideas and wanting to put jake-esque characters in everything #prismo is. not very creative #anyway their universe ends up following a sheriff and a self-declared wizard in the late-12th century (so around robin hood times)#as the sheriff hunts down a group of bandits #(prismo ends up really liking the bandits and thinking the sheriff sucks balls for hunting them down and scarab's like you just dont get it)#the self-declared wizard is very much a conman hawking snake oil (i do NOT sound like that is. very commonly interjected by prismo)#there is no magic. prismo keeps trying to put magic in there. scarab keeps shutting him down #scarab ends up trying to kill off the wizard for a dramatic moment and prismo gets upset about it #'it's a tragedy! it's supposed to be sad!' 'but WHAT IS THE POINT??? it's just tragedy for the sake of tragedy!'#'if your plan this whole time was to make me upset then congrats!!! you made everyone's friend prismo upset. im gonna do something else now'#prismo disappears and scarab feels. bad. it doesn't feel good.#eventually prismo comes back in to apologize for getting too into the story and leaving in a huff and shit and surprise!!!#the wizard is still alive! scarab LISTENED and he CONCEDED and CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BABEY!!!#now the ending of the story they were trying to tell is more bittersweet instead of a full-on 'everyone's dead or sad' thing #btw the sheriff and the wizard end up kissing and prismo and scarab are both VERY awkward about it #scarab still likes dark edgy stuff but he recognizes the universe he created with prismo is a SHARED project and he's been kind of a pill

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craycraybluejay · 4 months

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How many great artists and scientists and iventors dyou think died in slave plantations, concentration camps, and meaningless bullshit wars and genocides?

#i think about it every now and then and feel like crying #you know?#someone who died to the cruelty of humanity could have cured cancer #and their lives matter either way but #it causes me anxiety to think that even with whatever value I have it can only mean so much #people are irrational and cruel. i could invent fucking time travel and in some spaces it simply would not matter #how do you play at stocks and mind games with someone who does not Think in that way #a smart play for power or play for anything else is only useful so long as other involved parties arent insane or stupid #how frustrating is that?#irresponsible stupid people in power make my blood boil more than just the power itself #you cant even concede to someone like that either bc they wont understand compromise or surrender #but also its like telling a bully you'll tell his mom that his dad cheated #but the bully is stupid and beats you up anyway and now you both lose because youre definitely going to tell now #you could have come out both winners if he understood your leverage and backed off #but now youre both losers cause you are still all bruised and bloody and he gets to deal with his parents messy divorce #don't negotiate with stupid people. recognize when they arent understanding and just try something else like running #dont fret sometimes an appeal to emotion will kick em into gear #'ill tell your mom' vs 'your mom will be so devastated and sad when she finds out :('#obv dont do that unless someones abusing their power over you/hurting you in a situation you cant just run from #because the best solution if possible is almost always run. leave. get away.#but if you have to fight you want to get at any angle you can #you want to corner the other person so they go from being offense to defense #and if youre just digging/prepping for a bigger thing you want to get them frazzled enough to make a mistake #again. this is for self defense especially in long term abusive/toxic situations #people who abuse using their power usually have ego problems. sometimes you can take a gamble and go for the ego #they do this to you. do it BACK.#and preferably have a weapon on hand if they are liable to violence and unpredictability #better to look for a lawyer than check on the status of your life and health insurances #it is never too late to fight back. some people will tell you helplines but they have not helped me or anyone i know #so i'm telling you how to fight back and protect yourself by any means necessary

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scattered-winter · 5 days

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anyone else up feeling utterly overwhelmed or nah

#not to overshare on the internet but.#idk there's just So Much to untangle and So Many mental habits to break and it feels impossible. how can i undo 20 years of this.#like yeah ive already made some progress just in the last few years but thats just the very tip of the proverbial iceberg!!!!#every single day i find something else buried deep that i have to try and root out!!!!!!!!!!! literally every day!!!!!!!!!!!#im just. hrghhgh #i dont want to be fighting this for the rest of my life man. im so tired.#i think. the worst thing about this is. it feels like they still have a hold on me.#which is genuinely the most bone-chilling horrifying thought i have ever had.#i DONT regret leaving but man. if i fall back in. because everything familiar is there. i dont think i could rip myself away again.#because leaving the first time was hard enough. i don't think im strong enough to do it again.#genuinely terrifying. i hate living like this #getting the fuck out of this state canNOT happen soon enough. i swear to god #winter speaks #personal #<- sorry its very late at night <///3 im getting introspective and feeling frustrated

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carcarrot · 8 days

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scrolling back through my liveblogging of the day of the nyc concert because of recent notifications and its such a fun mixed bag of emotions to relive it all again

#helloooooo pineapple in my notes i do not mind the likes and reblogs <3 #but it was such a crazy day that day of the show. so much happened #i also didn't remember that the day before the concert is when my bus got messed up and was taking me back to ny #and i had to get a car service home and everything #and then there was the concert the next day!#and what i had done was worked monday. took all of tuesday off for the concert. got like maybe 4 hour of sleep if that #and then went back to work wednesday. stupid #it worked out fine lol but i dont think id do it that way again idk #other remembrances of the day:#my biggest regret is getting all worked up abt my stupid letter that never got to them anyway like jeez. obviously i still enjoyed the show #but still. OH and i missed out on getting the latte pinback buttons #not the biggest deal but i did want those. i was just awkwardly standing around before the nyc show #and the merch line was always super long anyway #what else. oh i wish i could have met those of you that were there. but next time! im cooler now so next time.#the show itself was crazyyyy. again so fun and surreal #one of the tags on my original review was something along the lines of me having not been this excited since i was a kid #and it was really like that. like it really was that absolute pure overjoyed excitement that i haven't felt for a long time #i felt the same at the hollywood bowl. just having so much fun (missing it now lol 🥲)#cant remember if i mentioned this before but when i was standing outside the stage door i saw both spike lee and adam driver leave backstage #adam driver is Tall. i didnt even recognize him at first fdhgkgkg #anyway. some thoughts almost a year later wow!

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softshuji · 15 days

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Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.

#my mom gave me a really really lonf lecture and upset me because her and my dad want me to start thinking about settling down ans getting #married. again. cos this comes up all the time. ans I reiterated that i do wanna marry and have kids. i know im 26 years old why do they'#think im also not aware of this??? like i suddenly forgot my own age and have my head in the clouds all the time. and i got so heated cos i #said they only believe in that in theory. in reality neither of them have accepted the idea od my leaving home or the idea of mw being with #a man. and they start freaking out if they even find out i talk to them so to say they want me to get married is so fucking naive #ans when i mentioned this and that they're more than ok w mt brothers talking tp women she said that if i wanted to settle down she could #talk to dad and they could “go about finding someone for me” and I've never been so pissed #i got so upset. why does everyone keep saying this to me. as if anyone my dad knows could ever be a half decent man #and the truth is they don't care if im in a happy marriage they've accepted that i won't be they only care that im gone and saving face in #front of family. that's all. it's always reputation it's always “what will people say?”#not once did love come up. not once did shw even imply that i should marryfor love #or that they hope i love someone and marry them. because they're more happy with the idea of me marrying for the sake of it than #they are at the idea of me finding genuine lovw #im not a fucking broodmare im not here to push out babies for the sake od reputation.#and then i said nor being married isn't the end of the world and she said “it's important that you settle down”#and i said im unwavering in my principles. she can call mw high maintenance like she loves doing but I'm not wavering on the #kind of man i want to be with and when i do marry him i want it to bw genuine. because be loves me and vice versa not because im ticking off #somethin from a damn checklist to appease them. and if being unwavering on my principles means staying unmarried then so be it.#my obligations are to god and myself and that's it #and y'know what??? i am in love with a boy already #and yet they don't care that i wanna be in love at all. no im just a puppet to follow a certain narrative in life live according to evergone #else has and that's it.#im done.#and then she tried to apologise by getting me a slice of cake and that somehow made me feel worse.#i dont want an apology. i want to be heard and actually listened to for once. i want someone to ask what i want. to actually give a shit #and love me cos it's me. not cos im some thing to further an agenda. or some toy or puppet that does your bidding.#is it so much??? to just want to be loved in return? to marry and live according to how i want to?? ans not want anyone to make these #decision's for me?#ruined my whole day.

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lobotomyladylives · 1 month

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people often assume when we all go out together that I'm my half brothers mom (I'm 20 years older than him) & that his parents are his grandparents & it's so funny bc I know it bothers them. old ass idiots

#my dad was 49 & his wife was 45 when they had him #the story behind his birth is actually extremely fucked up like everything else about their relationship #so my dad left her like a million times to try to go back to my mom (who kept telling him no unless he sorted out his issues) then he #would always run right back to her & she always took him back. anyways i guess he said smth along the lines of #''my wife (he was still married to my mom) will always be the love of my life bc shes the mother of my kids''#and...she went off bc & on fertility treatments without telling him. then shes pregnant & he is still saying he wants to come back to us #so she said he will never see their kid & her son from a previous marraige THREATENED MY DAD AT GUNPOINT #and said if you ever leave my mom again ill fucking kill yoi #so then the divorce was finalized & they got married & my half brother was born. rest is history #for the record i dont feel sorry for my dad at all it was his fault too. the fucking hypocrite was having sex before marriage #and he knew she was nuts & far too attached to her #what a fucking idiot. all he had to do was get on meds & in therapy & admit he was wrong & he could have stayed with us #but he needed constant validation & to be in charge of everything & thats what his new wife gives him. she converted to his cult & now they #raise my brother in it. and she just does whatever my dad wants & lets him treat her like shit. i would actually feel sorry for her if sh #if she werent such a fucking awful person. and she tries to be all nicey nice w/us despite being a literal homewrecker.#and doing things like telling my dad he cant spend more than 50 dollars per year on each of us #while having him buy her a third car & a 1500 dollar fur coat. lol #theyre so much better off financially than us that its unreal. my mom doesnt get a penny despite how much we are struggling #but if i want a relationship with my half brother i just have to pretend none of this is weird or wrong.#anyways i just hope he never finds out the circumstances of his birth bc god can you fucking imagine

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orcelito · 3 months

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Today's the day of the funeral. I haven't finished my eulogy yet.

#speculation nation #i wrote down some thoughts as they came to me but i need to put them in a cohesive order now #i am... rather unenthusiastic.#more than anything else. i am so tired.#as the children of the deceased me and my sister will be at the center of all of it #we dont know how many people are going to show up. and theyll all be socially obligated to give us their condolences.#im tired just thinking about it. this past week has been one of the most exhausting in my entire life.#i have Never cried this much before & thats With me emotionally numbing myself majority of the time.#my sister's friend is going to braid my hair. id like to paint my nails. we are leaving in about 3 hours.#negative/

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the-jam-to-the-unicorn · 7 months

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Jam, have you read the new Time article about Ze and the war?! I'm so fucking angry about it!!!!!!!!!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 Never thought Simon Shuster, of all people, would become a traitor! 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

I have and it is, indeed, a bullshit article.

If anyone had planned to read the new TIME article - don't. Use your time for something more useful (it has one, maybe two good parts but not really anything new or what I would say is worth a read). The article is full of bullshit, pro-Russian propaganda (to a point were you could play bingo and actually get one - think of any Russian Propaganda point and you'll most likely find it in the article) and basically a backstab from Simon Shuster.

Very sad to see that Shuster is now a pro-Russian Propaganda mouthpiece (again).

The article is awful in so many ways and he throws Ze under the bus, portraying him in an unfair, unjustified and very wrong light. Truly despictable article, not worth anyone's time.

The article is actually in fact so awful, I'm going to cancel my pre-order of Shuster's book about Ze. Because now I assume the book (who's title and summary changed in the past, btw) will now be written in the same style and I'm certainly not going to throw money into an awful Russian Propaganda mouth. I'll wait for reviews, maybe I'll get my hands on a copy in book store and I can glimpse into it.

Very sad to see that Shuster had this change in attitude and support regarding Ukraine (especially after his pro-Ukraine stance last year and his insightful and good reports about Ze), but given his history maybe it shouldn't be such a surprise (he wrote several pro-Russian and Propaganda articles in the past, mainly 2014 - I always assumed last year his case is one of the typical "didn't know it better, fell for Propaganda, learnt my lesson, now I support" ... well, looks like a "no").

#btw i would absolutely question his “sources”#because so many times in the article his “sources” say something completely different than what people actually say in public #and several things dont add up to reality or what we know / saw or what other journalists reported about #also i would bet money that the “close advisor” who shuster trusts so much is asshole #asshole as in arestovych #its also very fishy that ze and andriy get quoted directly and everyone else is just anon #also not a good sign of journalism (or the article) that shuster leaves out facts and explanations so it fits his views and article #and the propaganda #also the conclusions he sometimes makes are just ?????????#have nothing to do with real life???????#yeah bad article #i could write pages and rant about so many parts of the article but its not worth the time or energy #if you have questions or want opinion on certain parts feel free to ask but im not gonna write an essay about it

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pastelskrulls · 3 months

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percabeth yuri brain rot ahoy

au where everything is the same except poseidon and sally jackson have a daughter named ariadne (depending on the version u choose she got a happy ending with dionysus which is canon in the books) she probably goes by ari idk idk

anyways ari doesnt realize shes a lesbian, shes just like ‘oh yes my best friend annabeth who i have completely platonic feelings for’ and annabeth realizes shes bi but shes stuck in yearning hell not wanting to risk their friendship or creep ari out

most story beats would stay the same (tho titans curse would probably need a serious overhaul so good thing im not talking about that x) and they do still mess up circes island tho im not sure why yet, but in botl annabeth does NOT kiss ari, and only figures out after ari is missing that shes bi

(meanwhile on calypsos island ari is like ‘ohh sorry im not into girls like that’ and calypso is like yeah the gods always send heroes who cant love me)

anyways they dont get together after the last olympian, instead ari wakes up amnesiac in the woods with only the memory of annabeth and shes like ‘ohhh that must be my girlfriend’ and doesnt question it again

now this is my hc for just regular canon percy too that even after the gorgons blood the old memories and the new ones formed in the in between would get a little mixed up so the argo II arrives in new rome and annabeth runs up to ari to go in for a hug when ari just starts kissing her (annabeth is so shocked she forgets to even judoflip her) n e ways they make it official that night in the stables and that would make the rome date their first real date

#percy jackson #percabeth #annabeth chase #genderbend #percabeth yuri #jic i add something else to this au i want a tag #also dont ask me about nico i spent a solid 30 minutes thinking about it at work yesterday and i could not figure it out #cus i like the dynamic nico and percy have in canon especially regarding nico once percabeth fell into tartarus #but if i swap nico to a girl then its like why didnt she join the hunters #and i was like maybe shes trans and didnt realise she was a girl when she met the hunters the first time #but idk how that would affect the whole cupid thing #and idk whether nico in canon wouldve had the confidence and support to come out between ttc and hoh #i could see her being trans and bianca helping her in the time after leaving the lotus #but then i loop back to the same problem of the hunters #i dont even like nico this much idk why im thinking so much about this #another thing to consider would be the fact that shes from the 30s #i havent read the cupid scene in a while but i think i remember that being part of why nico struggled with his identity #so im not sure she would have that same issue if she were already out as a trans girl #ig it doesnt matter that much overall #maybe nico stays the same in this au without a crush on the jackson child #what i should really figure out is the circe thing #mywriting

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ditttiii · 3 months

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it's every single time i give myself a minute to breathe. a minute away from people, places, distractions, running away from my reality--when the heartbreak catches up and hits me. knocks my fucking breath out.

#as someone who's default has been for the longest time to love love love not being able to give it all the time actually makes me feel #like i am missing a part of me #its the weirdest most incredibly frustrating feeling to feel just slightly off kilter every single minute of the day and knowing u have #no choice but to ignore the oddness bcoz if u poke it its gonna all come crashing down #i hate having loved someone to the point where it was more than how much i loved myself coz now i m left #picking up the pieces they chose to leave behind and not knowing how to piece it all together #and it hurtshurtshurtshurts and never lessens and i can kiss someone else and still feel like a corpse inside #bcoz theres pieces missing that i gave away and that feeling of being incomplete just wont go away #trusting someone to love me forever might have been the stupidest thing i will ever do #and on bad days i think i deserved being left for the sheer stupidity of my life choices #istfg i m never loving again until a man puts a damn ring on my finger #so unbelievably fucking done with this shit #i wanna hate him but i cant and i wanna stop loving but i wont and i wanna feel full again but i dont #tw breakup #tw heartbreak

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