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piningprecussionist · 3 months

Note

(Not an rp ask)

What is your opinion on chau x kim? I'm not a shipper of it myself but I heard it was a proship since knives is 17 but also I saw she was 18 in the comic so I'm not sure where to stand on it honestly. But I'd like to hear your opinion about it !! Sorry if this is a bit of a random ask (ーー;

You're completely fine!! Do not even worry about it.

So, yeah- When Scott first meets Knives, and I'm not entirely sure how much time passes between then and when they start dating, it was *literally* her seventeenth birthday, as I am reminding myself reading back over these panels presently. And then at the start of book six, the first time we see (real, non-dream,) Knives, she has apparently been eighteen for a week!

Now, I'm going to preface with a little something before I go further into this: I am totally fine answering this ask and others like it I think! but, I will note, I do get like a (not fun) physical sensation in my chest- partly anxiety (lol) but also something else I think- thinking about them like 95% of the time- it's gotta be like. Handled The Right Way, if that makes sense. Let's get into it.

So, first off, I'm just gonna re: some of the stuff relative to this I've posted here before- both nonrp and rp, since I use RP to develop my read on Kim and shed some light on how I see things I guess!

These clips come from this ask (and reblog) here!

This rp ask here, which is simply too difficult for me to get in a good screenshot I feel, so I recommend just checking it and the tags for it out- I will share my Bonus Commentary reply though:

This ask as well! Tags less pressing, but still provide a little insight.

And this is probably a dumb inclusion if I really want to make a pseudonym to post fics under, but. I have posted my (very early) thoughts on the SPTO sparks scene to AO3 before, so- (and before going into this- I did remember that Julie and Gideon have that sparks scene after the fact!)

And here's the Barely Anything Lines hinting at the ship that I had in that fic that I used to justify that blurb, while we're here:

I think I've gone over my feelings a little bit in the discord as well, and there might even be more rp stuff relative to it, but I'm not going to go back and get any of that honestly- at least, not right now, or unless requested, since I don't really feel like it's necessary, if it does exist. This gives a pretty good glimpse in I'd say- especially that second to last one there.

So. Yeah.

Used to ship it; have expanded my horizons since then. I don't really want to knock it because like... for some people this is a legitimate life experience for them- one that might have even turned out well, miraculously. And there also a lot of minors in this fandom evidently, so like, any other baby gays out there just wanting to Project for a minute? I feel that. Sincerely I do. It's not the wisest choice but better to read fanfiction about it than go out and actually make out with a 23 year old, Gods forbid. (Genuinely felt sick thinking about that; fucking gross. Any minors out there: Please Make Good Choices. Look out for yourselves. Begging you. There are too many freaks in this world- I promise you whoever you're thinking of probably isn't the magical exception.)

But there are definitely things to consider about them that are very interesting to me, still, so like. I'm in this weird state of conflict; I don't know if it's just me being like "it happened, you can't escape it" or having been desensitized/some sort of Brainwashed by how many times I had to use Knives in the game to quick heal- maybe something else but I just don't feel like flaying myself open like that unprompted for just anyone- but like. Oh man.

Sorry, gathering/writing this that feeling like went away but came circling back for this last bit, it seems. Which makes sense I guess. I feel like I'm setting myself up for a Pyre right now eugh shfsgkjfhjg

I dunno. I'm not gonna lie and pretend like I know it to be some big formative ship for me in my early teen years, but it was kind of important in finally coming around to realizing how queer I was, I think. My memories of the time are fuzzy, but it would have been one of the things- there were likely larger ones, my current obsession could be recoloring my past here so I'm trying to acknowledge that.

But there is like. A dynamic that is posited by them that is also one I'm a really big sucker for. More so now than I was then, so I find myself grinding my teeth about that a fair bit at times.

I definitely still really like it as something unrequited no matter what I think; I like the idea of Knives having a really big crush on Kim, genuinely. I think it's cute and funny as hell for how uncomfortable it would make Kim, who's just trying so hard not to be a fucking creep while this ray of sunshine hangs off her- something she absolutely does not deserve (in her eyes.)

I'm obviously more partial to Kim resisting any advances made at her, but I can understand so, so badly why someone might be attracted to the idea of Knives managing to thaw some of Kim's frigidity with that. Ugh.

If they work for me, I think they'd have to work for me after Knives is gone at college for a bit. Kim would need to know Knives for longer than she knew her as a minor- and they'd have to be FRIENDS in that time, quite strictly. Kim would need to not feel (intensely, because frankly, she would unavoidably feel this way at least a little no matter what,) like she was a fucking groomer going into it, basically. I don't know what I think past that.

You know, I'll put my feelings like this: with the exception of a fic I saw recommended to someone that intrigued me, I have managed to resist reading any/many fics featuring them, despite it being a large majority of the wlw Kim fics that exist, and also kinda just Kim fics generally. It's kind of Insane, especially considering how much Kimona SCREAM at you from the pages of the comic itself- but I digress....

I've been working on this for like over an hour now I think so I really should cut myself off. I am like,, too hungry and mildly stoned to be rambling off about this maybe. If you want more concise/specific thoughts, I recommend prompting! I can try and channel the responses easier with a bit more direction, maybe?

...

actually another thing real quick- I like. Do not know that I could ever feel comfortable, truly, consuming content for them, not knowing if the OP has good intentions. I just Do Not trust people, largely, so that's just like. A little thing. Idk. "Death to the author" or whatever but I am still allowed to feel personally uncomfortable ya know! I don't want them taking my silent observation as like,, passive acceptance in the event that they were. Idk if that makes sense, I need to go eat already, I'm hitting post before i drag this out to TWO hours

#w oof. that was a doozy. mostly just on account of how long ive been working at it #but yeah. they fuck me up in some sort of way idk man. i cannot stress enough how much i want to bite people that are freaks about knives +#+ btw. like Going For The Throat I Need You To Bleed Out And Die want to bite people. so even considering it casually i find myself feeling #+like i am a massive hypocrite with the word scrawled in blood across my back or something. but im just a starving gay sdfjkhjsd #and i love Kim So Much. Denying myself Kim content is Actual Hell. and I have persisted.#(i mean. i also probably read some of this stuff back when i was a teenager. so. idk how much im really denying myself. but it's the +#+ thought that counts right? right?? hh... i likely dont remember any of them anyway so. it should totally count.)#ooc #txt #glitterminionking12 #am i really gonna put these in the tags.... hhhh yeah i guess i am #if any of the people that know me read this and can see i am shooting myself in the foot here please slap me in the discord i'll understand #i might just be having a Moment #sp comic #spvtw #spto #kim pine #knives chau #possibly the only post- unless i get asked about it more- that is gonna get the ship tag for them i guess? what even is their ship name...#ship stuff #no seriously what is their ship name im sitting here blanking i dont know how to tag this for people that dont wanna see it. or do i guess #knikim #sounds kinda like knick-em in my mind so im doing that for now #since starting to type any of the ones i thought of doesnt make a suggested tag pop up or anything #if there is one someone please tell me maybe and ill tag it #long post #headcanons #i guess?#spvtwtg #forgot that one

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heesdreamer · 1 year

Text

YOUVE MADE ME

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ sequel to YOU MAKE ME (could maybe be read as a stand alone but i don’t recommend it)

WARNINGS ➩ this is straight up full on porn.. i don’t often write full smut but! heeseung is very obsessed w reader in an unhealthy way and he has a pain kink, rough sex but it’s consensual and wanted from both parties

WC ➩ 6k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ okay the point i made abt being anti part 2 comment still stands lol it just so happened im obsessed with this universe and these characters and i personally wanted smut for them so you guys get it as well lol! not proof read and i don’t rlly write smut much so idk if it’s any good lol but it’s 8am so i dont rlly care

“Are you sure she’s not going to care?” You were standing on a cracked cement porch, anxiously tugging on your bunny ears and hiding behind Heeseung’s tall frame as he messed with the lock on the door.

“Of course she won’t, she loves you.” He was shaking his head and trying to reassure you, swearing under his breath as he shook the handle with frustration.

He was referring to his grandmother that he lived with, a small frail woman who offered you kind smiles and slightly stale baked goods anytime her grandson brought you over for dinner or a sleepover.

She made the two of you sleep in the living room most the time, originally saying you had to sleep out there alone but eventually caving in when Heeseung really stressed the importance of sleeping beside you. You’d smiled softly when she had nudged you and called him clingy, knowing she didn’t even understand half of it.

You didn’t mind how clingy he was with you, always following close behind you throughout the school halls and draping himself onto your side in the library.

Heeseung had never been shy in his obsession with you, sometimes muttering things to you late in the night that caused a shiver to roll up your spine.

“Besides,” He was letting out a grunt as he finally managed to unstick the lock and shove forward into the old door with his shoulder. It flew open and he stumbled forward a bit before turning around to face you with a smile. “She won’t even know you were here.”

You frowned softly as you looked at his handsome face, adorned with two new piercings that weren’t there when you’d met him and a decorative black eye. He’d kissed you deeply when you first saw him with it, whispering into your mouth and requesting you didn’t ask him what happened.

You didn’t, because you rarely ever did, and simply kissed him back. The two of you carried a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ state of mind most of the time and it made things simple despite sometimes unnerving you with how little you still knew about him.

“Breaking in while she’s on vacation, you really are a delinquent.” You were retorting back to him and you took a few steps into the familiar house, not having been inside for a few weeks considering it was summer now and you and Heeseung spent most of your time together around different places, sleeping in his car or getting a cheap motel for the night.

You’d graduated not too long ago and Heeseung had attended the ceremony with a bright grin and a bouquet of flowers, not having gotten enough credits to actually walk himself.

It was easy for you to allow him to become your entire world, that feeling of familiarity and comfort never leaving despite how rocky your situations seemed sometimes. Throughout being low on money and having rough home lives, you never doubted what he felt about you and vice versa.

“You like me like this.” He was smirking down at you and leaning forward so he could close the front door, his arm going over your shoulder and trapping you against the wood for a few seconds. “Makes me interesting.”

“You’re interesting anyways.” You were frowning up at him, your hands coming up to hold his neck a few inches below his jaw and pull him down a bit so you could kiss him softly.

He was humming against your lips and immediately pushing himself forward so he could be pressed ontop of you, his hip coming up to your stomach due to the height difference. You could feel the bone and the thick metal of his belt pressing into your stomach uncomfortably and you shifted underneath him at the feeling.

“Does it hurt?” He was pulling back to whisper into your mouth when he noticed your movements and you nodded softly, wincing a bit at the feeling.

Heeseung was pausing for a few seconds before he was pressing himself harder against you, the studded spikes going deeper into your skin and you let out a small hiss into his open lips. He was kissing you again before pulling his hips back to avoid actually hurting you.

You’d realized pretty quickly that Heeseung had a particular taste when it came to pain, first noticing it in small things like the way he would bite down on your lip during heavy make out sessions. Then it transitioned to his breath hitching every time you’d pinch his arm for annoying you while you did homework, his habit of pushing you against the nearest surface and pinning you there.

The two of you had been taking it relatively slow, never surpassing long kissing sessions accompanied by rare heavy petting but he drove you crazy almost every time you were around him.

He’d get this certain look in his eye sometimes and your stomach would light up with want, taking in his large frame and the way he obsessed over you like you were the only thing he truly cared about. Sometimes you thought that you might be, as toxic as it sounds, Heeseung never applied any effort to anything or anybody outside of you.

“Tell me if it hurts.” He was whispering again and then kissing you before you could say anything, his hands going down to your hips to pull you tight against him at the same time he pressed his waist back into yours. You felt the sharp ends of the studs again and you gasped softly into his mouth.

“It hurts.” You whined and he let out a small hum, titling his head so the kiss kept getting deeper and messier every second. You could feel his tongue licking into your mouth and you stood on your tip toes so he could have better access.

“I bet it does.” He was retorting after a few seconds, his voice low and raspy now that he was out of breath and you felt your knees weaken when he was rolling his hips down into yours. The pleasure of feeling him against you was immediately followed by the pain of his belt. “You like it though, don’t you?”

He was asking but it wasn’t an actual question, already knowing the answer judging by the way you let out a small cry and wrapped your arms around his neck to keep yourself standing.

His big hands were leaving your hips, sliding down to hook under you thighs and you felt him lift one of your legs so it was wrapped around his waist. You whined again and he smiled darkly at the sound, glancing up at you before going back down to where your hips where fully meeting now.

After a few seconds of seeing if you were comfortable, he was rolling his lower half into yours again with more contact now that your legs were more spread. He was hard and pressing harshly against you, his cock tight in his ripped jeans and you let out a cry while gripping his neck tighter.

“Tell me you like it when it hurts.” He was demanding in a low voice, leaning forward to kiss your jaw softly and pet your hair back out of your face more. He gave you a look like he was waiting for permission for something and you nodded your head, melting at the smile he gave you when he slowly took off your favorite hat.

You didn’t say anything for a few beats, just letting out soft cries at the feeling of him practically dry humping into you against the door. You only managed to speak again when he was thrusting particularly hard and the spikes caught roughly on your skin.

“I like it.” You gasped out and ducked your face down into his neck, wrapping your leg tighter around his middle so he could have even more access to your aching core. “Fuck Hee, I like it.”

“I know baby.” He was quickly responding and you felt flushed at how calm he was managing to sound, meanwhile you don’t think you’d be able to stand on your own if he were to let you go. You tugged on his hair softly so he would move his head back to look at you and he paused for a second before doing so, watching you intensely.

You were leaning in to kiss him again, sloppy in your movements and you could feel spit running down your chin from the way you were trying to suck his tongue deep into your throat. He was groaning now finally and you felt a wave of pride at the fact you were affecting him too.

More than you realized, considering the squeal of surprise that was slipping from your mouth when he was reaching down to aggressively hoist your other leg up so you were completely being held up against him. You could feel how hard he was in his jeans, pressed into your middle as he stepped away from the door and swiftly carried you towards his bedroom.

You let out a small giggle when he was casually tossing you onto the mattress, bouncing slightly from the impact. It was immediately disappearing when you saw the look on his face, familiar and dark in a way that made your mouth part.

He was on top of you before you could say anything, kissing you deeply again and you tried to ignore the fact his knee was landing perfectly in between your legs. You were sure that if he moved up a few inches he would be able to feel you throbbing against him, feeling dizzy from how much you wanted him.

“My pretty bunny.” He was practically cooing at you now, resting on his elbows as he kissed down your jaw and neck. The difference between his sweet words and how roughly he handled you was making you head spin, your back arching off the bed so your chest could press against his. “Are you feeling needy baby?”

“Please.” You were whining out and reaching your shaky hands up to his hair, tugging at it and rolling your hips up to connect with his leg slightly. His eyes darkened and you felt one of his hands go back down to your legs, cupping under your knee and pulling you forward so your core was sat against his thigh. “Heeseung please.”

“Stop begging and fuck my leg.” He was cutting you off in your pathetic attempts to get him to touch you, slapping your hand away from where it was continuously pulling at the collar of his hoodie. You could feel your eyes watering from need but you tried to ignore it, rolling your hips like he told you too and letting out a long moan at the feeling of him.

He was watching you with amusement but his eyes kept darkening as you fucked yourself against his clothed thigh, arching your back and panting slightly. He was pressing it uncomfortably hard against you and you could feel him everywhere, so large in the way he was laying on top of you and moving your body around like a puppet.

“Look at my nasty girl.” His voice was low like he didn’t care if you heard him, mainly speaking to himself in an amazed tone at the way you were humping into him dumbly. “Using me to get off like this, my sweet bunny.”

“Hee.” You were crying out to try and get his attention back on you, the stimulation of his leg and voice driving you crazy with the lack of actual touching that was happening. He gave you a soft look like he was pitying you and your desperation, nodding softly and pushing your hair out of your face again before sitting up off your chest.

You watched him as he pulled his hoodie over his head, wearing nothing underneath and you let out another whine as you kept rubbing yourself against him. You’d seen Heeseung shirtless plenty of times, between cuddling with him in the mornings and wrapping his bruised rib cages when he’d come to find you late at night.

It still always made you feel insane, made you feel like the luckiest person on the planet to get to see him like this. He always would say he didn’t deserve you, preaching about how beautiful and otherworldly you are to him but you felt the exact same each and every time you got to see him, especially like this.

He was leaning back down to kiss you again after throwing his hoodie across the room and your arms immediately came up to wrap around him, rubbing your hands up his sides and tightening your hold on his skin until you knew it would leave a mark. You were moaning softly into the kiss and he seemed unsatisfied with the fact you were calming down, dropping off his knees so his hard on was pressed against you instead.

You didn’t process his movement until he was rolling his hips into yours again, pulling out of the kiss to gasp and look down to see where your bodies connected. He was rocking into you slowly and you kept your arms tight around him, digging your nails deep into his skin and drinking in the way he let out choked breaths into your neck.

He sat up again, just slightly this time and you watched him as he aggressively tugged your shirt over your head, nearly tearing it in the process. You felt shy immediately at the sudden air hitting your bare skin but he was stopping in his movements to stare down at you, pushing your hair behind your ear slowly and watching as you took deep breaths that made your chest rise and fall.

“Fuck.” He was eventually breathing out and he sounded completely transfixed, eyes shooting up to yours for a second before immediately going back down. “You’re so perfect.”

“Stop.” You were mumbling under your breath, reaching up to try and pull him back down on to you so you could have a bit more cover. He was shaking his head and furrowing his eyebrows at your insecure tone, although fulfilling your request and laying back on top of you. You gasped slightly at the feeling of his warm skin pressed against yours and he half smiled down at you.

“I mean it. I’d do anything for you.” His tone was serious as he said it and you stared into his eyes. The first few times he’d spoken like this you didn’t take him completely serious, thinking he was just flattering you or saying exaggerated things to try and express how much he cared for you.

You quickly realized that he meant exactly what he said every single time, especially in scenarios where he felt like you needed protection or that somebody had disrespected you in some way. You’d had to pull him out of restaurants for trying to go after men who stared at your ass for too long, whispering calming words in his ear every time he caught sight of your dad from the front window when he dropped you off.

“Anything?” You were whispering up to him, your eyes wide and faking innocence. As quickly as you realized he was serious, you also learned that you liked how he treated you. You liked to see how far he would go if it meant keeping you safe and happy.

“Anything.” He was repeating it firmly and you felt him rock his hips into yours again, your legs instinctively spreading to let him fuck himself into your clothed core as he kept speaking in that low tone. “Nobody could take you away from me, you’re mine now.”

“W-what if they tried?” You were trying to keep yourself collected enough to speak but your head was spinning from the constant feeling of his hard cock pressing into you so harshly. You’d never went this far with him but you thought about it every single time you were with him, just as obsessed with him when it came to touching and being together like this.

“I’d kill them.” He was shaking his head and his eyebrows were furrowing like the ideas was genuinely upsetting him, his hand sliding down to hoist your thigh back up so every thrust was directly hitting your throbbing clit. You let out a loud moan at the feeling and his eyes were shooting back up to yours, more wild now that you were egging him on. “It’s me and you forever, I’ll do everything to keep you with me I don’t care. Nobody can make you feel like I can.”

You couldn’t find the energy to agree with him but you were letting out small gasps of his name and clawing into his back every time he moved forward, one of your hands shakily coming down to tug at his large belt roughly until it caught his attention. His eyes shot down to where you were pulling and that half smirk was back on his face when he looked up again.

“Is that what you want?” His voice was teasing and you felt a dry sob wrack through you at how slow he was taking it, aching to feel him closer. “My baby wants me inside her?”

“Heeseung, please.” You were nearly fully crying now and you continued to tug at his belt in an attempt to undo it, successfully getting it out of the first latch and then whining in frustration when it got stuck on the second peg. He was laughing softly but his hands were smacking yours away as he quickly tugged it off and unbuttoned the top of his jeans. “I need it please, I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” He retorted back and his voice was mocking this time, clearly referring to the way you had antagonized him a few minutes earlier. Nonetheless he was sitting up off you slightly to tug down your own pants, getting them down under your thighs and watching as you shifted around to finish the rest.

Now that you were both fully undressed you felt a wave of nervousness again, avoiding looking at him but feeling the way his eyes were hungrily scanning up and down your body. The vulnerability of being laid out in front of him strangely made a chill run down your spine and you could feel yourself clenching around nothing, knowing he was only a few inches away from being able to push himself inside you.

He still wasn’t doing anything after a few second and you finally glanced over to him with a pout, impatience coursing through you and your hand came up to rest on his arm and try to tug him back down on top of you.

It didn’t surprise you that he was watching you with an amused look on his face, liking the way you struggled and squirmed around his bed as you body tried to find relief somewhere. His big hands where sliding up your legs to rest against your stomach, pressing down against your rib cage and you sucked in a tight breath at the feeling of him touching you.

“Would you let anybody else touch you like this?” He was asking in that same low tone and you let out another impatient cry, knowing he already knew the answer and just wanted to hear you say it. “Answer me or I’ll get myself off and make you watch.”

His words were making your eyes widen with shock and you met his gaze, seeing how dark and serious they were as he monitored you like he was hunting you. You frowned again and he bit his lip slightly, tugging the metal jewelry that was hugging the skin into his mouth for a few seconds.

“Only you.” You were gasping out and nodding so he understood how much you meant it, his hands instinctively flexing against your middle at your words. “I only want you Hee, I’m yours.”

“Yeah you’re mine.” He was repeating himself again and laying back on top of you so he could pull you in for another rough kiss, his hand cupping your chin to stop you from moving. You let out a moan when you felt him spitting against your tongue, immediately swiping over it with his own and he let out his own groan when you were twisting your head to try and suck it deeper into your throat.

When he shifted again, your entire body arched at the feeling of him pressed directly against your sensitive clit. He chuckled into the kiss before purposely directing his hips into the same position so you could feel it again, gasping into his mouth and slapping his side in warning.

“Be nice.” He was mumbling into your mouth and you frowned when he was kissing you again, ignoring your smack against his skin and rubbing against you more and more until your head was completely spinning. “That’s my good girl.”

“I need you.” You were crying out and he groaned softly at the desperation in your voice, rumbling against your chest as he laid his head into your neck again for a few seconds. You could feel him biting down on your collarbone and a shiver ran through you as you ran your hand through his hair to get his attention back on you.

“You need me?” He was whispering when he picked his head back up, watching you intensely with a slightly wild look in his eye and you knew your words were fueling that obsession he carried in his heart, on the borderline of unhealthy with how eager he was to hear you repeat the words to him. “Tell me you need me again Y/N, tell me you can’t live without me.”

“I can’t.” You were repeating the words multiple times in a dizzy mantra, not thinking clearly considering he was still rutting against you as he spoke calmly and slow. If you didn’t know any better, didn’t see his fucked out expression as he stared down at you, you would’ve thought he was completely unaffected by how steady his tone was compared to yours. “Please Heeseung, I can’t. I’m going to go crazy, I need you so bad.”

He was nodding his head finally, seemingly satisfied with your words and he watched you for a few more seconds before his hand was running back down towards your ribs, passing them and softly caressing over your stomach instead.

A shiver ran through you and you watched his lip curl up at your body’s reaction, stretching underneath his piercing and you looked away quickly, more and more overwhelmed the longer you watched him. His hand was stopping just below your hip and you felt him squeeze the bone tightly, studying your expression for a few breaths before he was dipping down to swiftly kiss you.

“I can prep you.” He was saying into your mouth but the way he trailed off led you to believe he had another idea and you nodded your head eagerly for him to continue, hanging onto his every word. “Or I can just fuck you.”

You breath caught at the direct words, something that would normally make you feel shy if you weren’t completely lust drunk and desperate for him to do whatever he wanted to you. You almost told him that, told him you didn’t care what he did and you allow him complete control over your body, but instead you paused and tried to collect yourself for a few seconds.

“It’ll hurt.” He was saying, noticing you hadn’t gathered your thoughts and he was kissing you deeply again for a few seconds after the statement.

You both knew that wasn’t a dealbreaker at all, if anything the thought excited you more and caused your heart rate to increase. He seemed to know this considering the way his lip curled back into a smirk, your expression at the statement giving you away completely. You were wrapping your hand around his bicep that was still supporting his weight above you, nodding your head swiftly.

“My perfect girl.” He was cooing at you but his tone was almost mean, mocking you as he kissed his teeth suddenly. You glanced down to find the reason for his noise, flushing at the fact he was using his hand to adjust himself so he was lined up with your entrance. “Look at you, clenching around nothing just from looking at my cock.”

You flushed bright red and your eyes were snapping back up to meet his, drinking in how dark they were as he glared down at you. They were softening suddenly and he was kissing you again slowly, his mood changes causing your head to spin as you happily accepted the contact.

You could feel him pressing against you as you kissed, heart racing so hard it almost hurt at the fact you were finally going to have him completely, in all the ways you’d been imagining since you’d met him. Despite how twisted you knew he could be, he was sweet in the way he was caressing your face as he started to push into you.

Your mouth was parting in a gasp, face pulling back in a wince of pain at the sudden intrusion and you could feel your breath catching in your throat at the feeling of him nearly tearing you open.

“Breathe baby, fuck.” He was cursing under his breath and for the first time today, he sounded just as fucked as you were. His words were tight and forced and you figured it was because how tightly you were squeezing against him to try and stop the pain. “Bunny, you’ve gotta loosen up.”

You were instinctively shaking your head at the suggestion, your body screaming in rejection from how thick he felt pushing into you. You figured he was barely even halfway in considering how big he looked when you glanced down and you suddenly felt worried you weren’t going to be able to take him.

He stayed still for a few moments, letting you take deep breaths as he guided them alongside his own and you could vaguely feel his big hands pushing your hair out of your sweaty face and rubbing up and down your sides until the wave of pain subsided.

Then it was quickly replaced with a burst of pleasure, a small whine slipping from your mouth and you heard him almost chuckle in relief at the realization you’d managed through it. The pain was still there but it felt euphoric now that it wasn’t unbearable, the perfect amount of uncomfortable that you learned you liked so much because of him.

Heeseung was kissing you again briefly before pushing further in without any warning, a loud cry ripping through you as your hands came around to grip tightly into his back. He was sweaty under your hands and your stomach pressed against his when your back instinctively arched off the bed to try and run away from the foreign feeling.

“Let me fuck you, let me take care of you.” You could hear him grunting the words in your ear and you were nodding swiftly, immediately breaking into a fit of moans when he bottomed out inside of you and rolled his hips slightly to get you used to the feeling of his entire length.

“Heeseung.” You were slurring out and he laughed softly into your skin, his hand scrunching tightly in your hair before sliding down to your hip to hold you in place as he started to pull out of you.

You didn’t have time to catch your breath before he was slamming back into you with his entire length, a sob of pleasure wracking through you at the feeling of him fucking into you so aggressively matched with his big head keeping you pinned against the mattress. He was sucking in tight breaths near your ear but your head was too dizzy to hear him completely, lost in the feeling of him repeatedly ramming himself inside of you.

“All mine.” His words were slowly filtering in and you gasped again at how fucked out he sounded, almost angry as he spat the words directly near your ear. “You’re all fucking mine, my perfect girl. Just made for me, only I get you like this.”

You were trying to nod at his words or show him form of agreement but you couldn’t bring yourself back to reality long enough, you didn’t think he was paying attention anyways considering the way he was relentlessly pushing himself into you at a pace that was nearly too painful.

Heeseung was slipping forward slightly off his elbow, losing his balance from how hard he was fucking into you and you could feel his chest slam against yours in a way that shoved the breath out of your lungs. You knew you probably looked completely wrecked, tears streaming down your face as you let out continuous cries of his name and slurred words that didn’t make any sense.

You could feel that slightly familiar intense feeling building in your stomach, scratching down his back to try and communicate that you were getting close and he luckily seemed to understand because you could feel him nodding his head against your shoulder, his hips sloppy in their assault now as he got closer too.

When you were coming undone, your vision went black for a second and you could feel his hand slipping off your hip and reaching up to cup under your chin roughly, pulling you in for a bruising kiss as he finished alongside you.

The kiss was messy and painful, teeth clashing together as he licked into your mouth and you could feel him slowly pushing into you a few more times, tingling in overstimulation at the feeling of him pressing against your sensitive clit before he was stopping and leaning against your chest more.

His room was silent outside of the sound of your heavy breathing, trying to gain the air back that had disappeared and not returned since he threw you onto his bed. That vulnerable feeling was creeping back up and you suddenly felt very exposed even though he was completely covering your body, even more so when he was slowly slipping himself out from inside of you and clearing his throat gently.

At first you thought he was feeling awkward too, sitting up slowly and shifting off the bed until he could cross the room into the connected bathroom. You laid there in silence, slightly hurt that he had walked away without saying anything before he was swiftly returning with something in his hand, bending down to grab his hoodie and a pair of sweatpants before he came back to the bed.

You watched him in silence, biting your lip anxiously, as he pulled the sweatpants over his legs and glanced down at you. His eyes had completely softened now, that dark edge missing as he gently helped you sit up against the pillows.

“My perfect girl.” He was pushing your hair back again and pressing a wet towel, what you now realized was what he had went to grab, against your forehead softly. He was wiping the sweat from your face and trailing it down your neck.

You still didn’t say anything when he helped you sit up more so he could slip his hoodie over your frame, flushing at the fact he was letting you wear his favorite one despite the fact you were still sweaty and gross.

He was climbing back up on the small bed, the two of you barely able to fit side by side on it but you leaned into his body when you felt his hip against yours and he tugged you closer so you were halfway in his lap and laying your head down on his shoulder.

“You okay? Did I hurt you?” His voice was gentle and you smiled softly although he couldn’t see it, liking the fact he could quickly go back to being so sweet despite how rough he just was with you.

“Not in any way I didn’t like.” You were telling him and you picked your head up so you could look at his face.

His hair was a lot longer now, completely covering his eyes when it was dry and fluffy and he didn’t style it. You’d memorized every mark or scar on his features, stared into his eyes for hours on end and watched how they changed and shifted with each emotion he felt or every story he told you.

He had a specific look that he only ever carried when he was looking in your direction or talking about you, something past love and adoration. Something so intense that you would be scared of it if you didn’t feel it too, that deep pull to him that didn’t go away no matter how many days you’d spent together trying to figure it out.

“Stay here tonight.” He was whispering to you and you heard a hint of that insecurity that he sometimes carried back when you’d first met him, not yet showing you all of him and his personality and unsure if you’d accept him for his faults.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You were shaking your head and reminding him, a deeper meaning behind your words other than just spending the night with him here in this house. You knew he worried about you leaving him eventually, telling you a few times late at night how insane it would make him if you ever did.

It was easier to reassure him that you wouldn’t go anywhere, tell him you didn’t have anywhere else you’d want to be and you loved to be with him. It was easier to say this and try to calm his wandering mind over having to admit that you felt the exact same way, your skin itching at the idea of going without him for an extended period of time. You knew it would be dangerous to admit that you were just as crazy as he was.

So instead you kissed him softly and pushed his bangs out of his sweaty face, letting him hold you tightly in his arms and check over your body for any bruises or marks he might’ve caused.

He didn’t need to know how much you craved his insanity.

So instead you kissed him softly and pushed his bangs out of his sweaty face, letting him hold you tightly in his arms and check over your body for any bruises or marks he might’ve caused.

He didn’t need to know how much you craved his insanity.

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