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sortofanobsession · 3 months

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Beyond Frustration (Buddie AU)

I was going through old works and drafts and this idea wasn't exactly requested but it jumped out at me. And figured I hadn't done an Alpha Beta Omega in a while. May do a part 2 if anyone wants it.

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Summary: Lawsuit Era A/B/Ω AU where Alpha Eddie marks and bonds Omega Buck after Buck was trapped under the truck. The lawsuit puts their bond, and unknowingly to Eddie, their unborn child, at risk. Eddie learns how big of a mistake he has made in almost the worst way possible. Almost.

Paring: Alpha!Eddie Diaz/Omega!Evan "Buck" Buckley

Word count: 2k+

Content Warning: Anger, Neglect, Hospitalization, A/B/Ω mpreg, Fear, physical violence (Eddie gets slapped), Fear of Miscarriage, High Risk Pregnancy.

Eddie's inner alpha clawed at him as they left the deposition. And all it did was piss him off further. Buck had told that asshole things he'd sworn to keep to himself. The alpha had seen the way his omega's betrayal hurt the whole team. The team that was also very much their pack. Their family. But his alpha clawed at him. He didn't understand why it was acting like that. His mate had betrayed them and their pack. The mate he had taken care of and protected after the omega was injured in the bombing. The one he had bared his soul to and bonded with. No, his inner alpha may be driven by the baser instinct to be with his mate at any cost, but Eddie wasn't going to give in. He should have known better, especially after what happened with Shannon. Shannon had been the mother of his pup. And then came back just to ruin his life again. He had tried to make it work for his secondary nature. To have a real family, a true pack. And that had gone to shit. He'd let his alpha nature trick him again. But fool him once and all that bs. He wasn't going to give in a third time. No.

Buck was struggling. It wasn't unheard of for an omega to be a single parent. But it was well known that a strong bond and loving relationship for a mated omega was ideal. A bonded omega, separated from their mate, especially an alpha mate, under great stress, and being a somewhat rare male omega, was a high risk pregnancy in the making.

During a shift Eddie's inner alpha goes damn near feral. Something is wrong and he knows it. But Eddie had been suppressing his secondary nature for so long, even using medication to further subdue it, his alpha isn't strong enough to make Eddie's more stubborn and supposedly logical side understand. And Eddie does not realize how big a mistake he has made until he gets a terrifying call from Christopher. Carla had gotten a call from the hospital. Buck was not well. And since Carla was the only contact Buck had allowed them to reach out to. Eddie finally realizes what his alpha had been trying to tell him over the last few hours. His alpha nature has been reacting to the bond the shared with his mate. Eddie was just too numb to feel it. And that was a terrifying thought. As mad as he and the others were with the no contact order because of the lawsuit, they still had the slight comfort that Eddie would know if something happened to Buck. When Eddie tells them about the phone call they rush to the hospital.

The second Eddie steps into the hospital he is met with a hard slap. He recoils at first and nearly lashes out when he realizes it’s Maddie. His mate’s beta sister.

“You were supposed to protect him!” She shouts at the alpha. Before Eddie can say anything she has turned her ire on the captain. “You too!” She looks from face to face, every member of the 118. “All of you! You told him he was family! That you would be there for him!”

“Maddie,” Chimney starts but she turns on her heels and disappears behind a set of doors.

The receptionist stone walls them when they try to get any information. Eddie can feel his inner alpha suffering. Eddie was so close to his mate he could just start to feel him. His omega's scent had clung to Maddie. And it tore at the alpha’s heart.

“Eddie,” Carla says as she meets them.

“If you're here, where is Christopher?” Bobby asks. As upset as the captain and his inner alpha was he knew it was nothing compared to what Eddie was feeling. Guilt and fear clouded Eddie's usual scent. Bobby could understand that. The captain had lost a mate before. He knew the panic not knowing created. Eddie wasn't in his right mind now.

“He's with Buck, since they had a sort of bond they hoped it would help. Maddie too.”

“Did it?” Hen asks.

“He's stable, but there is something I need to tell you…”

Eddie hates himself. He would never forgive himself for what he had done. He would grovel and beg Buck to forgive him. He prays to any higher power that would listen to let him fix this. To not take his family from him. He couldn't lose his mate. It would destroy him. He'd spend the rest of his life begging his pups to forgive him. He'd be there for every major milestone for both Christopher and their unborn miracle, if they let him. He was a mess by the time they reached Buck’s room. Maddie glared at the alpha as he entered.

Christopher made his way over to Eddie and buried his face in his father's shirt. Eddie drops to his knees.

“I'm sorry, buddy, I'm so sorry,” the alpha begs. “This never should have happened.”

Once Christopher had calmed down, Carla took him out into the hall to go see the rest of the team.

Maddie leaves to call her parents. She glares at the alpha as she does. The alpha goes over and carefully takes the omega's hand in his. The barely there curve of his pregnant mate’s stomach breaks something in the alpha. It wasn’t prominent, but he had known Buck's body as well as he knew his own. And he could see it now. He doesn't know how he could have missed it at the deposition. Even the omega's scent smelled sweeter. Had his anger clouded his senses that much? He now understands why his inner alpha had been so distressed that day. His pregnant mate was just a few feet from him and he couldn't go to him. The omega had looked so tired and sad, but Eddie had been too bitter to see what the entire situation had been doing to his mate. And Eddie could see it now. Buck was too thin, too pale, for a pregnant omega. He looks fragile and broken. And Eddie just wanted to crawl in the bed beside him. He wanted to scent his mate. Hold him. Do whatever he needed to repair their fragile bond. But before he can do anything but take a shattered breath a woman in a lab coat walks in. She's a beta that smells overly sterile.

“He's sedated,” she says before she even introduces herself. Once she has she levels the alpha with a weary look. “You are his mate, correct? His alpha?”

Eddie nods, barely trusting his voice. “Y-yeah, yes, I am.”

“His sister said you two are bonded, correct?”

“Yes,” Eddie answers, his hand gripping Buck's a bit tighter as he does.

The doctor nods and after making a note in the omega's file she checks Buck’s vitals and compares them to his chart and updates it. Eddie watches her carefully. Only when she is done does she give the alpha any attention again.

“How are they?” Eddie manages to ask.

“He is stable and his condition is slowly improving.”

“So they're okay?”

“As a medically trained first responder, I'm sure you can understand the gravity of the situation at hand,” the doctor starts.

Eddie nods but hopes that by saying nothing the doctor will actually answer his question.

“Did you know about your mate's condition?”

“No,” Eddie half sobs. “I had no idea.”

“Okay,” the doctor says and seems to be considering something before she speaks again. “In cases of neglect like this there is a full investigation,” she says and the alpha has to sit down because to have it put so bluntly was jarring.

“Whatever needs to happen, just please, don't make me leave.”

“Oh as his bonded mate you need to stay, it may be the only thing that keeps his condition from worsening. But I have to legally inform you that your behavior will be heavily monitored and any signs of distress will be dealt with in whatever manner we deem necessary, which may include asking you to leave, and getting the authorities involved if necessary. And if your mate or his family wish to seek legal action, we are obligated to assist them.”

“I don't care what you have to do, I’ll do anything,” Eddie insists. “I just want him to be okay.”

The doctor seems to study the alpha for a full minute.

“I believe you, Mr. Diaz,” she finally says. “And I trust that you being here will not worsen the situation. And if it does that you will act accordingly. I understand that there have been some strenuating circumstances in this particular case. I hope for your sake, and your mate's, that things only get better from here. We will be keeping a close eye on him.”

The doctor excuses herself after that. And what little control Eddie has on his emotions fails. He buries his face in his mate's neck and sobs. He is nothing without Buck. He isn't even a good dad these days without him. He's been trying, but Christopher is still suffering from the after effects of the tsunami and not having his Buck there has made it all the more difficult. The omega had been with him during the terrible experience. It had made the bond the two already had stronger. And Eddie had denied both of them that much needed connection. He was a failure as an alpha. He was a failure as a father. Worst of all, he was a failure as a mate. He neglected his bond and his bonded mate and it nearly cost him everything. He could have lost both his mate and the unborn pup he didn't even know existed. Now that he knows he can't possibly let go. The only reason he would ever leave now was if Buck wanted him to. If his mate couldn't forgive him, the alpha would understand. Eddie sure as hell wasn't ever going to forgive himself.

Eddie wakes up to fingers in his hair and he almost doesn't want to move, but as he inhales the chemically tainted smell of his mate he remembers where he is and why he is there. His head snaps up and he looks into the tired blue eyes of his mate.

“Buck,” is all the alpha manages to say in a broken tone. The numbness that he had felt the past few days gone as the wave of emotions hit him. He can feel their bond again. And it shatters something in him. “I'm sorry.” It's half sobbed and shaken.

Buck had woken up to a weight on his arm that hadn't been there before. The more he thinks, the more he realizes it was a familiar weight. Paired with a feeling he had longed for. His eyes tear up as he inhales and takes in the familiar scent of his mate, but there is something off about it. It has the omega opening his eyes. His alpha is distressed. And yeah, that tracks. The omega blinks tears away as he looks around the hospital room. He has no idea how long he has been there, but by the way Eddie is passed out curled against him it had been a while. And he let his tears fall because Eddie was there. His mate had not only come to his bedside, but was pressed against his side like any distance between was unbearable. After so long without his mate, and now his senses were flooded with him, the omega finally felt some semblance of home. He felt complete again. His hands itched to feel that electricity he always felt when they touched. His hands card through the alpha's unkempt mess of hair.

The omega’s heart clenches at the the sheer level of pain and devastation in the alpha’s voice. Buck gets a real good look at his partner’s face and he looks so raw and broken that the omega wants nothing more than to make things better. But Buck can't forget the reason they are there. His eyes move to his own stomach. Before he can even voice his fears, fears Eddie must feel through their bond, the alpha’s hand rubs along the sheet covered swell.

“Pup’s all right,” Eddie says, his voice now filled with conviction. The alpha's voice is in Buck's ear. The omega can feel the heat of his mate's hand through the fabric on his stomach. The combined sensation and the renewed feelings coursing through him sends a shiver down his spine and sends his heart soaring. It must show in his heart monitor at the way the alpha beside him chuckles. It nearly doubled when he feels Eddie's lips gently brush across the bonding mark on the omega's neck. The feeling of love and safety he has missed for weeks is damn near overwhelming.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie tells him again. And between the look on the alpha's face and the feeling of guilt that flows through their bond has Buck believing him. Combined with the omega's heightened emotions and hormones, Buck couldn't imagine holding any of it against the alpha. Not really.

“I know,” Buck tells him, his own tone a little sad. It's sad, because this whole situation could have been avoided if they had just tried to talk. And he thinks Eddie must feel the same way at the way the alpha’s hand shifts from rubbing the omega's swollen belly to pulling Buck closer to him. And Buck goes willing shifting until his back is flush against the alpha's chest. The alpha protectively curled around him.

“I love you, you know that right? More than anything in the world,” Eddie says.

“Except Christopher,” Buck corrects.

“I love him and this little one,” Eddie states, his hand gently pressing against the swell of the unborn pup. “But that's a different kind of love,” the alpha insists.

The omega swoons a bit at that. He had spent the last few weeks terrified of Eddie rejecting not just him but the pup as well. The relief that Eddie still loved him and wanted him, but that he wanted their pup too was amazing. That the alpha was happy to not just claim the pup as his but say he already loved them. It was like having a large weight removed from the omega's shoulders. That fear had been like an albatross around his neck. And Eddie must feel it all through the bond because, again, Eddie holds him tighter. The alpha’s lips press against the skin behind the omega's ear.

“I'm here now. Not going anywhere.”

The alpha holds the omega as he cries but it doesn't last long. Because Buck is still exhausted and Eddie is warm. The omega is more comfortable and feels better than he has in weeks, maybe months. Buck falls asleep sheltered in his mate's arms.

The alpha tenses as the door opens. The former army medic might hate having his back to the door but the alpha was protectively curled around his pregnant mate. That was way more important than his own comfort.

“Well, don't you two look cozy,” the nurse, a lovely middle aged omega, says as she comes in.

“He woke up for a bit, but fell back asleep,” Eddie tells her as she goes to check the machines. The alpha goes to move to get up so she can check Buck’s vitals but she waves him off.

“You're fine,” she smiles. “The closer you stay the quicker the bond can help him feel better.” She gently checks Buck's pulse and nods.

“I’ll let the doctor know he was awake for a bit,” she says before leaving. Once she is gone he looks over at the clock. It early, but not too early that his pack would be mad at him texting them. As much as he hates the idea of moving from his comfortable spot, he needs his phone which is charging on the table next to the bed. Eddie gets up, stretching as he does. Buck whines in his sleep at the loss and rolls over as if to chase the alpha's fading warmth. It makes the alpha’s heart flutter. He quickly grabs his phone and returns to the bed. Buck now curled into his side with his face tucked in the alpha's neck. Eddie's inner alpha was happier than it had been since the pair bonded at the feel of the omega's bump against his side. And the feeling was heady. The alpha just wants to sit there and bask in the feeling of home that came from watching his vulnerable and trusting mate sleeping in his arms. But he knows he has a number of unanswered messages to deal with. So he silently, and slowly only having one hand to type with, lets Maddie, Carla, and the team know that Buck was doing better. He had woken up for a bit, but was resting now.

They had a lot they needed to sort out, but they would do it together. Lawsuit be damned. His mate and their family was now Eddie's primary focus. And he wasn't willingly going anywhere any time soon. Not unless Buck wanted him to. Even then the alpha wouldn't like it. He loved Buck too much to walk away now. He loved the family they had made. He was sure the others would understand.

When he was done with the messages he settled back down beside his mate and closed his eyes. He would dream of the life they were only just starting as a family, as a pack.

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currantlee · 8 months

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A Few Words on Unsolicited Criticism

Came across this and yeah... I wanna talk about it. (I know not reblogging is kinda rude, but I don't want any harrassment directed towards this person, and the best way to contribute to that is by not disclosing their identity. It doesn't matter for the point I'm gonna make anyway)

The mindset I can see in the post screenshotted above is, in my opinion, an extremely damaging one - both for the people receiving unsolicited criticism from people like this, as well as for these self-proclaimed critics themselves. How do I know? Well, because I used to be one of these kinds of people, and I'm so glad I got over that, both for the people I have hurt with this kind of behavior (if any of you are reading this, I'm still sorry) and those I would potentially have hurt if I kept going like this, as well as for my own wellbeing.

You see, this "criticism is always valid"-attitude stems from one mindset in my opinion (and that is if I'm being nice and disregard the entitlement-option): the mentality that everyone is (and should be) always trying to improve - which is not a great mentality to have, both for the people you are criticizing and your own work (if you engage in creative endeavours), as it can lead to perfectionism, which can, in turn, damage your ability to create.

The truth is, whether people are actively trying to improve or not is situational. You do not know what another person is going through or why they are even creating. They could be trying to improve their skills, but they could also be creating to vent. Or, you know, purely to have fun, see their ideas come to life or to distract themselves from the stress that is everyday life - which also constantly pushes us to get better. There are lots of reasons to create, and not everyone is trying to get better at all times - and that is completely valid! It doesn't make one any less of an artist, a writer, a videograph, ... if they're not actively trying to improve!

Also, for all you creatives out there: I don't actually think you should take criticism from anyone. First of all, not everyone is actually qualified to give constructive criticism which is a skillset of its own (though I do want to point out that pretty much everyone can point out things and / or make suggestions regarding your work, which can also be extremely helpful), and secondly, there is no ultimate recipe for helpful criticism. It varies from person to person. Some are better off taking criticism from people they're close with (for example folks with trust issues), while others fare better taking criticism from people they barely know (for example folks who persue a creative career and are working with / for people they barely know). Some are better off with criticism that includes a lot of jokes (for example folks who love to have fun while editing and can laugh about themselves without feeling bad), while others fare better with kindly worded criticism (for example folks who are currently working on self-esteem-issues).

Last but not least, I wanna talk about "don't like (it), don't read (it)" (and its variations such as "don't like, don't watch") a bit.

Fanwork is free entertainment, meaning no one wastes any money on it. Yes, there are some people who are actively trying to improve their skills, but a lot of us are just trying to have fun. Unless a fanwork (usually a fanfic or ongoing AUs) is held up like the second coming of Jesus by (parts of) a fandom (and therefore has a big impact) and / or taken very serious by its creator and / or the criticism is tied into the discussion of a bigger topic, for example pretty much every -ism-issue (including in fandom itself), queerphobia or misogny, meaning that the discussion revolves more around these issues than the actual work itself, unsolicited criticism is not only unwanted, but unnecessary. "Dont like (it), don't read (it)" also ties into audience entitlement, meaning the attitude that everything must be made for everyone (think: Penjamin Shapiebro reacting to the Barbie Movie) which is especially common in people that are privileged and don't acknowledge it, when the reality is that you can never please everyone. Therefore not every creative work can or must be made for everyone. If you don't like a work, more often than not it's not because that work is actually bad, but because it's just not for you. That's what "don't like it, don't read it" means: it's okay to dislike something and move on from it, even if it's for no obvious reason. It's a statement that's both empowering to creators and to audiences if you take like this.

In other words: the only thing in this conversation that's "idiotic" in my opinion is unsolicited criticism because it usually helps absolutely no one.

#Art Advice #Writing Advice #Creative Advice #Fandom #Don't like don't read #Don't like it don't read it #Unsolicited Criticism #Unwanted Criticism #You are valid #Currantlee here

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mons-immortalium-if · 11 months

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Now this is horrid. The way there’s only m*n as RO options when yk everyone isn’t into those ppl. I’m severely disappointed in you and hope you do better in the future.

This is a joke right? :)) This almost didn't warrant an answer, but here we go... You can also choose not to read it.

I've stated it quite clearly in the master post that the ROs are all male, I don't think I'm springing the dirty men onto any unsuspecting minds :))

#why is “men” censored??? :))#“those people” :))) I'm dying :))))#men are bad #men are evil #part of me still believes this is a joke :))#I know this story won't be for everyone #duh #don't like it don't read it #chronically online

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zelda7999 · 1 year

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Feelings on the new Ruin DLC?

Meeehhh I guess? Excited for more content with the boys and more to learn about them, more context and lore essentially... but uh, from a gaming standpoint? I am not excited at all.

See, I play a lot of games in my spare time, I have a custom-built gaming PC for that reason so I can play all the games at top settings... and yet, even with that Security breach runs like ass and that's just the base game. Not to mention all of the glitches and generally broken mechanics of the base game as well... So my hopes for the DLC to be any good are very very low.

UNLESS they went back and fixed all of the errors that are already existing or they started from scratch/remade a shit tonne of the game, there are going to be way too many errors and glitches for it to truly be enjoyable. I personally could barely play the base game to get to the Daycare because I kept running into glitches and bugs. The number of times I died because Chica teleported or she got spawned in directly beside me thanks to a S.T.A.F.F. bot are way too many...

I also just personally don't see why they would go ahead and make a DLC if they haven't even gone back and fixed their EXISTING game. If they truly think SB is a full and finished game, they are damn wrong... and yet they have not fixed errors, they have not optimized the game, they haven't done bug improvements... but they're doing a DLC? Yeah, no. I do not have high hopes for it being good, let alone playable...

and tbh if they make the DLC work and playable... that would be wonderful and great! but uh, that also means they left the base game in a nearly unplayable state and deemed it "fine." Which is really really sad and pathetic :\

TLDR: I do not have high hopes for it gameplay-wise, but story/lore-wise I do have high hopes.

#ask zelda #anon asks #Zelda's Opinions #don't like it don't read it #tbh don't like it feel free to block me #I have strong opinions when it comes to games #especially when it comes to well... this #they could have done well #but they did not #and now they're coming out with a DLC?#trust me I am excited for the boys #but so disappointed in them at the same time #hope the story and lore is worth it #because my hopes for the game itself are so low

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nihiladditaenihilperdidi · 1 year

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Random Facts: A Particular Kink

Rhys over here giving multiple muses and muns Daddy vibes. After some thought, I believe Rhys wouldn't judge the kink if confessed or eluded to him. In the back of his mind, he might be a twinge concerned, but he wouldn't alter his behavior. Especially if that behavior made one of his lovers happy.

#don't like it don't read it #random facts #random facts: rhys

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ay0nha · 2 years

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"She always had her headphones on as she worked. Billy spent most of his time in the library guessing what he'd think she'd listen to. He was sure she felt his eyes on her for most of her shift. She was plain-looking, pretty of course but simple. Even her clothes were neutrals and a size too big but she carried them well, the style intentional. Sure she seemed confident but she held a different air; she seemed comfortable with herself, which far and few could say the same. "

speak for yourself and your own white ass bitch, im beautiful 😂 no black woman is simple looking bc we are all gorgeous unlike jealous white bitches like you

Hate to break it to you, but I'm black...and the word simple doesn't implicate race, good try though.

#personal #ask #anon #fuck off really #don't like it don't read it

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roninkairi · 1 year

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You can only reblog this today.*

*PLEASE READ THE TAGS

#adventure time #finn the human #if you are reading this #please be aware this is a joke #this was a random thing tound on Facebook #and no finn really didn't say that #so go ahead and reblog it #just don't take it seriously #some of the people who reblogged this overreacted #so I feel compelled to add these tags to call them out on it #like seriously #chill out dudes #maybe eat a taco or two #tacos are life #so are burritos #ok this is running its course #david zaslav can suck it #i just felt like adding that because he is a douche

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elucubrare · 4 months

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i firmly hold that it's my duty as a reader to believe it when an author tells me at the beginning of the series that the dragons are gone forever and never coming back. but god it's a struggle sometimes.

#that is: i don't think it's fair to hold that kind of genre knowledge against a specific instance of it #not even because while i've read hundreds of bad fantasy novels someone else might not have read any #but because hm. 'the dragons are gone' is the foundation of a kind of feeling - discovery; renewal; awakening -#there's not a way to get the feeling later on without laying the foundation #so even if the foundation feels like busywork for me the reader #it has to be there in some form or other

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inkskinned · 10 months

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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

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