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eupheme · 1 year

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Watch What Happens | Day 29: Candles

carlisle cullen x f!reader x charlie swan

Rated E | 5k

Tags: soft filth, est. open relationship, threesome, voyeurism, implied mutual attraction, brief mention of alcohol, sub/dom elements, fingering, oral, unprotected PiV

There’s moments Carlisle can’t share with you, as soft and human as you are. Luckily for you, he finds out he likes to watch. And even more fortuitously - you both find out that Charlie likes to give.

He’s hard to resist.

It could be what he is - so much about him calls to you, makes you starry-eyed. Inhibitions and the filter on your mouth disappearing - leaving your mind as foggy as a chilly winter’s morning.

But you think maybe it’s just him. The silk of his voice, the cool slide of his fingers raising goosebumps in their wake. Trailing down between your breasts, his chest pressed against your back as you knees open between his.

The little shiver when his lips press against your neck. A sharp inhale, the brush of his tongue against the spot where your pulse thuds - a balm against your burning skin.

Your breath comes out a shudder, how he’s so close. His sweet cologne has you sinking against him, his fingers pausing at your mound, sliding over soft skin.

“Carlisle.” You breath his name, and he can feel the gasp in your throat, a hum coming from low in his throat as he indulges you.

Fingers dipping lower as your thighs nudge wider. Feeling where you’re slick and hot and oh - he wants to bury himself in you. Feel that warmth wrapped around him, so soft and so yielding.

Instead, the tip of his finger drags up. Slipping against your clit, first a slow, small circle, and then another. Until your head is tipped back against his solid shoulder, your hips bucking into his touch.

“Please.” You whine, and Carlisle makes a comforting sound, his other hand splayed across your belly, thumb stroking the valley between your breasts.

“You know I can’t.” He admonishes, but it’s soft edge tempers the rejection - your teeth clicking together as they clench.

Lips parting as you pant, close enough to the edge that you’re not above begging, “But you’re - you can handle it. I know you can.”

A mess for him, and he’s still so composed. Not a hair out of place, the only signs are the wrinkles in the clothes where you’ve clung to him, and the hunger that burns in his eyes.

“I don’t think I could hold back.” He admits, though he says it without shame.

Just the truth - why he keeps you at arms length in some ways. Giving you his fingers and his mouth, but no more - even in spite of your sweet pleas.

You’re protesting again, something about how he manages just fine as a doctor - that if he can handle that then certainly this has to be easy - and his kiss is sweet against your temple.

The softest tsk as he chides you.

“It’s easy not to want what you’ve never had.”

And then an intake of breath, the sound sharp against your ear as he inhales you, your scent. Fingers sliding down until they’re slipping into you, unable to resist giving you just a tiny bit more.

But no more than that.

“And you must remember… I’ve tasted you, darling.”

———

An idea forms, just a small bud of a thing. Slowly growing, blooming - unfurling at each meeting.

It hadn’t been hard. Carlisle had seen the way he looked at you both, the lingering glances. A curiosity, your eyes flicking Charlie’s way when you think no one is looking. When he looks to Carlisle, and then you when he makes a some sort of jest or snarky comment, waiting for a soft smile.

A loop, ebbing and flowing.

Carlisle brings the idea to you when you’re in the car, after picking you up for the evening. Broaching the topic just as you pass the Police Station, the neat flick of his eyes towards the parking lot, automatically checking to see if he’s still there.

He’s not, and the car keeps going.

“What do you think about Charlie?” Carlisle asks you, as if he’s asking about your weekend plans, what you’d like to have for dinner.

You frown, “As a person?”

“Yes.” He hums, “More than that, but yes.”

It takes a second to form words, the thoughts tumbling around. Not sure where he’s going with his question, but you try to answer honestly - there were few secrets between you. Many things laid bare, expectations discussed.

Even if you poked at them, sometimes, in the heat of the moment.

“He’s been a good friend.” You settle on something vague, though a heat rises to your cheeks as you glance out the window, “I like him.”

A thumb taps against the steering wheel, once, twice. His gaze always has a weight that settles over you, a gravity that always pulls to back to him.

So you glance, where he’s smiling.

“I like him, too.”

You blink, “Yeah?”

“Mhmm.” He watching, gauging your reaction. If you understand, or if he’ll have to leave more breadcrumbs.

But he doesn’t need to worry. It’s something you’ve discussed - just whispers in the dark, cozy with the afterglow. Sometimes, you think it’s just a dream, the memory of some unconscious thought.

How he imagines, sometimes, you with someone else. Wanting to see just how much you could take in the hands of someone who didn’t have to be careful like he did.

How well you might listen to them, under his instruction. How you might look, pinned between them, each of his movements so measured and careful as he finds his own end.

How you’ve thought about that, too.

“Do…” You hesitate, before surging forward, “What makes you think he’d say yes?”

There’s the slightest curve of his lips, the hint of a dimple.

“He’ll say yes.” His voice is certain - the same tone he uses in the office. A hand reaching, cool to the touch as his fingers fit between yours.

“I wouldn’t bring it up if I wasn’t certain, love.”

———

It’s on a chilly December night when Carlisle asks him.

The subject broached after an evening of pizza and beer, a game on Charlie’s television half-watched in quiet companionship. Bellies filled with drink and food - sitting cozy on the couch, before Carlisle finds the perfect segue. His pitch clean and effortless, much like everything he does.

Charlie’s brow pinched and furrowed as he listens to the solicitation - not sure if he’s heard correctly.

A quick darting of eyes after, as he glances your way. Over the years in Forks he’s gotten used to not asking questions too many - taking opportunities at face value.

If anything he looks like he’s not sure why you’re asking him, and it makes you smile at his obliviousness. Fingers passing over and smoothing the edge of his mustache as he processes.

For a long moment, you wonder what he’s thinking about - if the two of you have gotten this all wrong. Not too worried about discretion, both of their jobs made keeping knowledge quiet second nature. But you didn’t want to mess up the friendship that had formed, over the past few years.

But Carlisle is right - as he always is.

“I don’t like… “ His hand waves in the air, discomfort evident, “Complications. So as long as it not-”

“No complications, I assure you.” Carlisle smiles warmly, “Just the occasional favor, if you’d prefer to think about it that way.”

“Hell of a favor.” Charlie huffs, his mustache twitching with a bemused smile - but he’s intrigued, leaning back against the worn couch.

A beat, before he nods slowly - a sense of finality to his answer.

“Fine with me.”

———

He’s warm beneath you.

You’ve forgotten what it’s like - too used to the feeling of carved marble in human form. Sculpted by the gods and shaped in their image.

But Charlie, he gives. Your hand flat against his chest, sliding up to his shoulders. Fingers digging into the thick muscle as his own grip at your waist.

Hot-blooded, with the way those hands squeeze, tug. Rocking your hips against his as you straddle him, his back bumping against the headboard.

The room dark with the wintry, evening light. Ending up at your place together - an almost tangible tension in the room after the conversation. A mutual agreement that there was no sense in waiting until another night, not with all possibilities so beautifully ripe and swirling in your mind.

Candles illuminate the cozy space - one on your dresser, another on your bedside table. Carlisle thought it would soften him, make him blend in.

He was right - about more than just that, tonight.

If you turned your head you could see him from his seat in the cozy, overstuffed armchair you liked to read in. Looking like he’s been bathed in gold, achingly beautiful. As close to human as you’ve seen him.

You can feel the weight of his gaze, where he watches - still as stone. But another shift of your hips brings you back, rocking you where Charlie is thick in his jeans. A low breath of a moan as you push the flannel from his shoulders, your lips dragging around a stubble-lined cheek as he tugs his arms from the sleeves.

The shirt and bra you’re wearing goes next, disappearing over the edge of the bed to join your pants - discarded before he had pulled you onto his lap moments before. Fingers roaming over newly-bared flesh, his touch greedy as he palms your breast, eyes dropping to see how they look in his hands.

“Christ, you’re beautiful.” He’s murmuring, as your fingers slip around the buckle of his belt, “You sure you want this?”

Charlie’s gaze flickers over your shoulder, just to the side. A careful confirmation, and you use this distraction to palm him, your hand curling and cupping.

“God, yes.” You breath, as he groans, a small thrust of his hips into your touch. Fingers pressing and teasing and stroking him over his jeans, as he finishes loosening his belt, popping open the buckle.

“Be good for Chief Swan, sweetheart.” A soft voice chides, capturing your attention. Your head turns, meeting his gaze as the edge of his lips tilt in a knowing smile, “Can you do that for us?”

It has you nodding, turning back to Charlie, so he can see too. Easing back off him, kneeling on the bed as you wait for him to work the zipper - lift his hips. Helping him tug the fabric down his thighs, before settling between them.

His t-shirt pushed up to his abdomen, the thick curve of his cock resting just below against a dusting of coarse hair. Legs spread across the top of your thick, soft comforter, one still bent at the knee, foot flat against the bed.

His leg straightens, muscles flexing, when you take him in your mouth. Nose brushing against his abdomen as your head dips, lips parting to wrap around the flushed tip, enveloping him.

You can be good. Make him moan with your mouth, your hands. More - if he still wants that, if he hasn’t changed his mind.

But you don’t think he has, not when his fingers are brushing over your shoulders - wide hands coming to cup your jaw as your head bobs.

Seeing the way he sinks into your pillow, the small, unconscious thrust of his hips as you meet his eyes, something you’re sure Carlisle catches.

Eyes closing as your tongue swirls, over velvet-soft skin, taking him as deep as you can into your throat. Pleased when you hear the broken moan in response, his breath harsh.

You like this. It’s different, how responsive he his. Soaking in the rising of his chest with each breath, the throb of his cock against your tongue. Words you don’t quite catch as your thighs press together, trying to relieve an ache of your own.

It’s not as subtle as you thought, not from where your lover sits, near the end of the bed. Fingers curled underneath his chin, his elbow resting on the padded arm as he watches beneath sharp, half-lidded eyes.

“Touch yourself, kitten.” Carlisle tells you, “I can see how wet you are. I want you messy when he fucks you.”

His words make you clench, the hand on Charlie’s thigh gripping on a little tighter as you moan. Your lazy pace slowing as your eyes glance up unconsciously, where he’s watching you, too.

“You let him call the shots like that?” Charlie asks - a thumb swiping over your cheek, as he rests heavy on your tongue.

His question is amusing to you, you’d smile if your mouth wasn’t so full - an answer coming as your fingers slide between your thighs, feeling just how soft and soaked you really are.

Fluttering shut as you suck on him, as your fingertips circle, pressing at your clit. Basking in relief as your own throbbing is answered and eased.

Shifting your weight for balance, leaning more onto his sturdy thighs. It’s hard to do this much at once, your brain fuzzy with desire, your own pleasure now at war with the need to make him come with your mouth.

Charlie’s voice breaks through your thoughts, the words rasped out, “You like being told what to do, baby?”

You nod automatically, in between the slow bobs of your head, the sharp exhale of breath through your nose as you concentrate.

There’s a rumbling groan in his throat, as he pieces more things together. What you like, what he likes, what all three of you do.

“Fuck. Can you make yourself come for me?” His voice lowers, gaining a hint of an edge, “I won’t fuck you until you do.”

There’s a low hum of amusement and approval from the corner, a curving smile as you melt with Charlie’s words. Leaning into his permission, as your attention shifts. The teasing touches becoming more focused, knowing that you don’t have to keep yourself on the edge anymore.

Almost making you forget keep moving, an apologetic look thrown Charlie’s way as you take him deep again. Not that he seems to mind, his gaze fixed fully on the movement of your wrist, eyes watchful and greedy.

“I know it’s hard, darling.” Carlisle’s soft voice chimes in, a balm and an accelerant to the building ache, “Just hold him in your mouth, okay? Keep him nice and warm.”

There’s a hiss of breath at his words, Charlie’s hips rocking into your mouth. They make you tremble too, a tightening in your belly as your fingers slide over soaked skin.

Closer, closer closer - getting lost as he fills your mouth. As you bring yourself to edge, and then plummeting over.

A muffled whimper buzzes in your throat before you’re releasing him, your face pressed against the curve of his hip as you ride out the pleasure with your fingers. Moaning senselessly as your thighs flex, as the pulsing relief grows and spreads throughout your body. Leaving you to catch your breath, panting through kiss and cock-swollen lips.

Limbs pliant as Charlie moves you with a gentle, “Turn around for me, baby.”

Propping yourself up on your knees, letting your back curve down so your head can rest on the bed - until the thudding in your chest wanes, a sigh of contentment leaving your lips.

Only then does he move, pushing himself up as well. Hands tugging the shirt from his shoulders, before palming the curve of your ass - the slightest tug as his movement bares you.

“God, just look at you.”

The words are no more than a rasp, fingers tracing slick skin, down to where your thighs are damp with your release. Tracing up to puffy lips, your thighs tensing when his thumb nudges your clit, where it’s still tender.

Fingers moving to press at your opening, until the tip of one sinks into the first knuckle, and then deeper. Pumping slowly, working you open before the second notches at your entrance.

“So fucking tight.” He growls out, “Need to get you ready for me.”

You had been expecting him to take you, to fill you. His tenderness is something that makes you warm, as you peek over your shoulder at him. Where he’s backlit by the candlelight, his features becoming softened and movements fluid.

A gentleman, though in a much more different and gruff kind of way than Carlisle. Not for the first time, but certainly the most realistic, you imagine both sets of hands on you - the contrast making you shiver.

Your fingers curl in the blanket, holding on as Charlie nudges at a spot that sends up sparks in your belly. A soft moan as he pauses for a second, before doing it again. Feeling how you clench, imaging himself how you’ll feel wrapped around other parts of him.

Scissoring you open, the briefest pause before there’s the sound of his body shifting, then a soft and warm exhale of breath against your thigh. Followed by the wet brush of his tongue as he tastes you around his fingers, making your sleepy eyes snap open.

“Fuck.” You groan the word through clenched teeth, an arch to your back as his tongue sweeps against your clit.

Fingers withdrawing to grasp your thighs, holding you steady and open against his mouth. Dipping inside to taste your release, the sound of skin against skin as a hand leaves your hip to wrap around his cock.

“Taste so good, honey.” He murmurs the words against your skin, pulling back to press a kiss against the sensitive skin of your thigh, “So fucking sweet.”

Your eyes lift, to where Carlisle sits - seeing how he’s watching, the hand propped under his chin now moving. Ghosting over the front of his trousers, gently palming where his cock strains against the woolen fabric.

It does something to you, his look hungry when your slow sweep meets his. Knowing what he wants to see, wanting to give that to him.

“I want you.” You beg, your eyes on him, a two-edged meaning to your words. His eyes drop to your lips as Charlie groans behind you, a hand pressing down against your back for leverage as he pushes himself up until he’s kneeling.

The kiss of his cock as it presses against you, the head just nudging against your slit. Holding himself there, one last confirmation, “Is this what you want?”

You shift against him, trying to press him into you - voice clipped with the effort, “Yes.”

“Oh darling, I know you can do better than that. Ask him nicely.” Carlisle’s soft tone cuts in - it’s almost annoying how easily he finds the words to fluster you.

The hand on your back curls, biting into your skin as there’s a sharp exhale of breath. Your eyes hold for a second longer before your head tilts, your ear pressed into the mattress.

If he wants to watch you beg, you will.

“Please fuck me, Charlie.” You whine, fingers curling into the blanket, rocking back towards him. Feeling the head of his cock just starting to press into you, as he makes no effort to hold himself back or move away.

Too far gone himself, to actually deny you of anything. It fuels the heat in your belly, making you want him even more, for him to take you, “Oh, I want your cock so bad.”

You’re the one watching as his jaw clenches, the way his eyes darken. The hand on his cock leaving to curl around your hip, tugging you back onto him. Splitting you open as your plead turns into a long, high moan - filling you with a single, sharp thrust.

“Christ, sweetheart.” He grits out, feeling the way you clench around him. Ages since he’s had someone like this - so soft and sweet and begging.

Hands still gripping on as he pulls back, no more than half-way, a grunt as he buries himself again.

“Is she warm, Charlie?”

When you finally move your head, you see how Carlisle has shifted. Thighs spread open, his elbow pressing into his knee as he leans closer. Almost on the edge of his seat, no more than a few feet from you now.

There’s a huff of breath, the slow slide of Charlie’s cock as he thrusts. Once, and then again, grinding himself deep until you’re moaning.

“Yes, your girl is gripping my cock. So fucking tight and warm.” His voice is close to a growl, coaxing your hips into a rhythm.

Watching the way your ass bounces against his hips, the peek of his wet cock when you rock forward. Disappearing into your cunt as you arch into him, using your grip on the bed for leverage.

You don’t know how to interpret the look Carlisle gives you. Almost wistful, his lips parted with the memory of a breath he no longer has, soaking in the bliss on your face.

“And how does he feel, love?” He asks you,

“God,” You gasp, “You feel so fucking good, Charlie.”

There’s a flush on his cheeks behind you, a groan in his chest as his hips slap against your thighs. The wet squelch each time you take him, slick from desire and your release and his hot, warm mouth.

His strokes nudging where his fingers had been, your mind going fuzzier with each stroke. Eyes focusing on where the fabric pulls tight against Carlisle’s crotch, a question you are just barely able to voice.

“You want me to take care of you?”

Carlisle has said he preferred to just watch. Something that had been discussed, something that Charlie agreed to, but had almost seemed almost surprised about. Like he had assumed otherwise, when he had agreed.

His eyes flicker above you, a glance at the other man. Lips curling with a knowing look that you’re not sure you understand, a flash of white teeth that only you can see.

“Next time.” He promises, “Okay, kitten?”

The nod comes quickly and eagerly, but he’s not done with you yet. His hand lifting, his first finger curling under your chin. Shifting you, the angle making you groan, as his thumb presses against your lower lip.

You open for him, lips wrapping around and sucking - his thumb cool when it presses down against your tongue. Giving you something else to keep your mouth busy, letting his own mind wander to stolen moments together.

Feeling each muffled moan as it buzzes in your throat, the warm suction of your mouth as you feel the pressure building again. Letting your teeth scrape over the pad of his thumb when a thrust pushes it deeper into your mouth, knowing you can’t hurt him.

Already close from Charlie’s fingers and his mouth - a throbbing bloom of pleasure that feels close to bursting. The sounds becoming more rhythmic, drunk on the feeling of being so full - content to let it build until it becomes overwhelming.

When your eyes start to go hazy is when he pulls back, smearing the string of spit over your lower lip, leaving it glossy. Surprising you as his mouth presses to yours, a low, pleased hum in his throat when your lips brush.

“What do you need?” Carlisle coos, stealing one more kiss before leaning back. Knowing that it won’t take much for you to shatter - content to watch from his seat so that he doesn’t miss anything.

The answer is easy, the answer is on the tip of your tongue when Charlie beats you to it.

“I know just what she needs.”

He had slowed to a grind when Carlisle teased you, but now he man-handles you. An arm curling around your waist, pinning you in place against him. His thrusts sharp and shallow, shifting until he hears you gasp, feeling you clench down hard around him.

“Christ, that’s it. Good girl.” Charlie croons, fingers reaching to pet the bud of your clit, touching you like he had watched you do before.

“I want you to come for me. Want you to cream on my cock, sweetheart. I know you can do it.”

His voice is soft and low, an edge like before - circling and pressing, his cock pounding into you - you’re so close that you can hardly breathe.

“Oh god,” You murmur, toes curling, muscles stringing tight in anticipation, “Oh my god, please-“

“That’s it, come on.” Charlie urges, the words sounding fuzzy in your ears - drowned out by the thud of your heartbeat.

A cool hand nudging at your chin, tilting your face from where it dips between your shoulders.

“Show me.” Carlisle murmurs, just for you.

And so, you do.

Letting him watch the way your brows pinch, the stiff arch of your back as you come. Eyes focused on his, the light of the candles dancing off dark pupils, until stars are exploding behind yours as they flutter shut.

Your release torn from you, leaving you gasping and moaning, half-formed words as his cock makes you gush. Soaking him like he wanted, each thrust slicker and louder in your small bedroom.

Another low whisper, just for you, “Good girl.”

It’s only his centuries of self-control that prevents you from seeing just how far gone Carlisle is. Watching you take and take - the bliss crossing your features as you came undone.

So much more carnal than the gentle lovemaking that he’s limited himself too - worried about getting too lost in the moment, unable to forgive himself if he ever injured you.

Never wanting to test the limits of his abilities as much as he did right now. If it were possible to feel pain, he thinks he’d be throbbing right now with need.

But the evening is not over - even as your wanton cries turn into contented moans. The sharp pulses turning into waves that leave you relaxed and euphoric.

Letting Charlie set his own pace, hands grasping at your hips, tugging you to meet each thrust. Not far behind, not after the way your pussy clenched around him, as he heard the way you sighed his name.

The grind of his hips turning shorter, faster. His voice matching his need, low and rasping, “I’m close, sweetheart. Where do you want me?”

“You can come in her, Charlie.” Carlisle answers for you, his eyes glittering in the dim of the room, “I assure you, it’s safe.”

Charlie’s groan is strangled, a stutter to his hips, “Fuck. You hear that baby? Is that what you want?”

You clench down around him, murmuring a dreamy, “mhmm” as he groans.

Only lasting a few more sharp thrusts before he’s there - chest pressing against your back as he bends over you. Shoving himself deep as his cock throbs, spilling into your heat.

You take him, every last drop, until he’s easing himself out - until his release threatens to drip from you. Waiting until he’s collapsing back on your pillows before you join him. Suddenly shy, in spite of everything.

The bed dips with added weight a moment later, as Carlisle finally moves from the armchair. Fitting himself on your other side, pushing you closer to Charlie. Hips bumping against yours as his hand slides up your thigh, to where your legs are still parted as you catch your breath.

Fingertips trail over the sensitive skin - down to where you’re puffy and slick. Watching you with golden eyes as the tips of two of them press into you - as you’re unable to stifle a gasp of surprise, and then a moan.

Nudging deep, where you’re wet and filled. The sound lewd as his fingers pump, and then curl.

Your head tilts fractionally, as your eyes slide to where Charlie is stretched out beside you. The arm he had thrown across his face has lowered, moving behind his head. His own gaze focused on the careful movements between your thighs.

“So warm.” Carlisle hums, his lips curving as he finds a spot that makes you to jolt, clench around him. The flash of pretty teeth as he smiles.

A hand drifts to rest on your hip, moving slowly. A very warm, very human hand - sliding over skin as it moves up to your waist.

Charlie’s bare chest pressing against your shoulder as he curls onto his side. His thumb brushing the underside of your breast, a soft back-and-forth. Flatting his palm when you arch into his touch, and you can feel the exhale of his breath against your ear.

Their touches, the attention, feels overwhelming. Your breath coming in short pants, a sharp “ah” with half-lidded eyes as a thumb slides across your clit.

As Carlisle dips down to steal a kiss, a swipe of his tongue against yours. A noise almost like a growl - the flickering light dancing across the arch of his sculpted cheekbones, almost making him glow.

The press of a hip against yours, as Charlie shifts against you. Trapping the taut peak of your nipple between his knuckles, the breath you’re holding dragged out in a moan.

“You got one more, honey?” He murmurs, his eyes dragging from where Carlisle leans over you, his gaze heavy and curious and wanting.

Your lips brush his next as you nod, and you wonder if he can taste Carlisle on your tongue. If he’s thinking about him, wondering - though the thought is quickly slipping from your mind.

Sliding through your fingers like smoke as his thumb presses just a little harder, as Charlie’s fingers pinch and tug and it’s all too much.

Your back bowing against the bed they bring you over the edge - fingers slowing, pressing deep. Keeping you full so the spend doesn’t leak from you, not yet.

Enjoying the tight clench of your cunt as you pulse around his fingers, listening to each gasping breath, the sound of your moans. Committing your pretty, human, reactions to memory - the thudding of your pulse, the way you gaze at him so reverently.

Until gently, his fingers slide from you. Slick and shining with you - with Charlie. The flash of his pink tongue appearing between parted lips as he sucks the tip of one clean, before taking both into his mouth.

Slowly sliding them out - licked clean - before his head is dipping to kissing you again. His tongue already seeking yours before your lips fully meet.

“Shit.” Charlie hisses next to you, carefully watching every moment.

Carlisle’s laugh as soft as his voice, when he pulls back. His thumb running over your lip, as his eyes find Charlie’s.

“Thank you.” He tells him, and you think only Carlisle could sound so composed after such an evening.

Charlie’s ears and cheeks flushed pink - a huff of an incredulous, pleased breath.

“Uh, sure.” He manages, a hand brushing through his hair, yet not making any attempt to move. Still uncertain that this wasn’t a dream, a fantasy.

“Anytime.”

(No pressure tags: @andrewrussgarfield, @luxuryberzatto, @jedicouncilmember)

#wwdilfcember #charlie swan x reader #charlie swan x you #carlisle cullen x you #carlisle cullen x reader

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writertitan · 4 months

Text

Perennial // Part 3

a/n: i hope everyone's new year has been so lovely! 2024 has got a lil kick to it.

pairing: levi x fem!reader

overall themes: fantasy AU, strangers to lovers, traveling through realms, explicit content

part 3 themes: mental breakdown from reader, hange introduction, some hurt/comfort

read part one here

read part two here

Hange wasted no time in stepping away and kept the door wide open for the two of you to step inside, and you immediately took in your surroundings.

Hange’s house was a disaster. Papers, shoes, empty cartons, and other items were scattered all over the floor. Clothes and quilts were draped over every possible piece of furniture, and candles were everywhere. They’d been lit so many times that pools of hardened wax surrounded the candlesticks, and the wax clung to various things, whatever the candle had been set on, really.

“This place is a mess,” you muttered, and Levi seemed to have the same sentiments.

“Your pigsty is as disgusting as I’ve ever seen it, Four Eyes,” Levi quipped, his monotone voice holding an edge to it. “Don’t you ever clean?”

“I haven’t really had the time. You know I’ve had much bigger fish to fry,” Hange answered, voice bubbly despite Levi’s cutting words.

Then, Hange turned to you, glasses gleaming as they scanned you from head to toe.

“She’s Embla,” Levi said, and Hange’s eyes glittered behind their glasses.

“That’s right,” they breathed, eyes wide like saucers. Then, under their breath, asked, “And how the heck did you get your butt over here?”

“I have no idea how I got here,” you admitted, standing a little straighter under Hange’s scrutiny. “That’s why we’re here. Levi said you might be able to help get me home.”

“Hmm, did he? I don’t know how much help I’ll be. This may be something more up Erwin’s alley,” they said, though they looked completely saddened to have to admit it.

“You’re the goddamned scientist, Hange. Are you really telling me you’re willing to pass this up to Erwin?” Levi said, grey eyes hard as ice. Clearly, there was a lot of complicated history there that was going unspoken between the two of them.

At that, Hange tilted their head, considering. Outside, you could hear the first waves of families coming back to their homes. Young children were laughing, and the adults were chatting animatedly, though you couldn’t make out specifics.

“On second thought, I call dibs! Erwin’s got a brilliant mind, but you won’t have half as much fun with him as you will with me, Embla! It’ll be nice to drop everything and focus on you,” Hange declared.

Levi seemed to loosen up a little, and then he turned to you, arms folded over his chest.

“Any more questions you want to ask, direct them to Hange. Four Eyes is the only person I can think of who asks more questions than you do, and they’ll be happy to be on the receiving end for once.”

You glared at him, not appreciating the little dig, but you did light up a little bit at the thought of someone finally being excited to offer insight into this realm and quell your curiosities.

While Levi went to make some tea, Hange guided you to their study, which was even messier than the living space of their home. Hange merely shoved some stacks of papers and books off a chair for you to sit in, and they immediately grabbed a very big, very old book off a bookshelf behind you, sitting at the desk that sat in the study and opening up to flick through some pages.

“Do you really have the power to send me home? Like, a spell or something?” you asked, hands in your lap.

At that, Hange let out a wild, loud laugh, going as far as slapping their knee.

“Oh, you kill me. I don’t have the power to do anything like that – it’s a wonder you’re even here! You really are our own little Embla. I can certainly try and figure out how to get you back, though. You’ll just have to share your story. Spare me no details, please!”

You were about to, but then you stopped, giving Hange a curious look.

“How come you both refer to me as Embla?” you asked. “I’ve pretty much gotten used to being called that by Levi, but I don’t understand why you both seem to like referring to me as that name so much. I feel like I’m missing out on some inside joke.”

Hange gave a small smile, leaning back in their seat.

“Embla isn’t exactly a name…it’s more of a very old term.”

You suddenly remembered when you’d originally asked Levi, and he’d given that strange response.

It’s what you are.

“What does it mean?” you pressed.

“Despite an entire war happening between humans and Eldians, only a handful of human men ever crossed into our realm. There’s no record of a regular human woman crossing over. That’s what you are. You’re the first woman to step into our realm, the Embla. It’s significant to us, but I promise to tell you more about it some other time, if you’re interested,” Hange explained. “For now, let’s get back to you. Tell me everything. Remember, spare me no details!”

And so you did.

You let it all out, starting with the fact that you were very sad prior to the gas station, and how much your life was changing, and how you’d felt compelled to open that door, and how terrifying it was to suddenly be in a different world and not knowing, and how Levi had helped you and was constantly teetering from being so gentle to entirely made of stone.

It was therapeutic, spilling your guts like this. And Hange was a great listener, despite Levi warning you that they loved asking questions. Not once did they interrupt, and they even seemed completely enraptured in your story.

“Wow,” Hange breathed when you finished. “Quite a journey so far indeed. But I would love for you to go back a little bit. You told me about your friend who was helping you with your move. What was her name again?”

“Oh, Pieck? What about her?” you questioned.

Hange’s eyes flashed, as if recognizing the name.

“How long have you known her?” they asked.

“For a few years now. I met her when I first moved into my apartment. She’s one of my closest friends now,” you answered. “I’m confused on why you’re so curious about her.”

You were starting to feel defensive again, even a little cagey. It was one thing to spill your guts about yourself, it was another thing entirely to speak about someone else, especially a close friend.

Before Hange could even give you an answer, you spoke up again.

“Pieck doesn’t have anything to do with this. I just mentioned her because you said not to spare any details. I don’t want to involve her in this,” you said, trying to keep your voice firm.

“On the contrary, my new friend. She has more to do with this than you think,” Hange said, their tone light despite saying such a controversial thing. “Let’s go meet up with Levi again. I think he needs to hear this, if he hasn’t already. Which I don’t think he has, otherwise he would have brought you over to me a lot sooner.”

Your heart raced in your chest as you followed Hange out of the study and into the living room, where Levi had cleaned up a little bit and was sipping on some tea on a couch you could now see. He looked up from under his lashes when the two of you appeared again, though he didn’t move.

“The Marleyans are good on their word, Levi. Sounds like they made it over to the human realm. Our friend Embla here told me that Pieck Finger is apparently a very good friend,” Hange announced, slumping down into an armchair that had also been cleared of Hange’s mess.

Levi froze then, and you could see that his grip tightened on his mug as he processed the news. His eyes flashed to you, scrutinizing you for a long moment, before he eventually moved to set his mug down on the coffee table in front of the couch, also recently cleaned. Damn, he worked fast. You hadn’t realized he was something of a neat freak.

But Levi’s cleaning abilities weren’t really at the front of your brain.

You were starting to tremble as you struggled to process the possibility of Pieck being involved with Eldians somehow. From the little you managed to gather, it didn’t sound like Levi or Hange were very fond of her.

“Do you know Pieck?” you asked feebly, struggling to keep upright.

Did she really have something to do with your sudden arrival in Eldia? It seemed so impossible. Then again, nothing was impossible anymore.

Instead of Hange answering you, it was Levi.

“She belongs to a faction of Eldians that we call Marleyans,” he said, his eyes trained on you. “About a hundred years ago, some Eldians split off into their own territory, called Marley. They’re a dangerous lot with very dangerous beliefs. I can’t believe they’re actually trying to pull their mission off.”

Mission? What mission? Why were they dangerous? What was so dangerous about your sweet friend Pieck?

You wanted to ask these questions so badly, but they simply wouldn’t come out. You were frozen in place, much like yesterday, but this time without the risk of your very soul ripping itself out of your physical body.

Pieck was Eldian?

You thought back to all your memories with her. She’d never really brought up the myths at all during the time you’d known her. You had to be fair, though; there’d never been an occasion to bring stories of Eldia up. Nowadays, in the human world, Eldia was hardly talked about, save for some podcasts and college essays.

But the most frightening possibility of all was weighing heavy on your heart. Were Hange and Levi insinuating that Pieck had befriended you for a reason? Had your years of friendship been a lie, a farce?

But why? You weren’t Eldian. Why was this happening to you?

“You look a little green,” Hange noted, and you had no response.

Your bottom lip quivered and your knees finally buckled under your weight, sending you to the floor. You curled up into a ball, leaning against a wall for support. Here it was, the mental breakdown you’d been anticipating.

You hid your face in your hands, ashamed at the fact you were acting like this in front of Hange and Levi, but you couldn’t stop even if you tried. A sob escaped and you allowed yourself to let go and let your emotions take over, the sadness unbearable.

Your surroundings disappeared and it was just you in a void, no company other than your fear and misery. It felt like there was no coming back from this. You felt so untethered and couldn’t find it within yourself to cope with all these changes.

All the loss you faced back home had nearly been too much. You’d been hanging by a thread, and nobody was there for you except for Pieck. She’d been the one holding you together.

Those problems had seemed so far away when you’d crossed into the Eldian realm, like a fog had settled in your brain. It had made you focus on the here and now, with only one goal: get back home.

Now, it was like the fog had lifted. You had to deal with your problems in the human realm, as well as your problems in this realm. Maybe they were more enmeshed than you realized.

Pieck wasn’t here to hold you together. Nobody was going to be there for you now. You were alone.

You were all alone.

“Hey.”

You jumped when you heard Levi’s voice and felt a hand on your shoulder, and you were surprised at how quick his actions made the void around you disappear.

You lifted your head and opened your eyes, taking in your surroundings between your ragged breaths.

No vast emptiness or darkness.

Right. You were in Hange’s home, in the living room.

But you were far away from home.

You looked at Levi, expecting to see steely grey eyes and a set jaw, but your heart thudded when you were met with a gentle gaze underneath thin brows that were knit together in concern.

“Just take a deep breath,” he whispered, his hand still on your shoulder. He even gave it a small rub, which admittedly did help loosen you up.

You did as he said, taking a deep but incredibly shaky breath.

“Hold it for a second,” Levi instructed, and you again did as told, holding your breath until Levi eventually instructed to exhale.

The air whooshed out of you, and some of your fears did as well.

“Can you stand?” Levi asked. “Let’s get you to the couch where it’s more comfortable.”

But you were still a trembling mess. You tried to stand but to no avail, eventually dropping back to the ground as another shameful sob left you.

“I can’t,” you choked out, not daring to look at Levi.

“Can’t what? Can’t stand? That’s fine. We’ll just sit here until you can,” Levi said.

True to his word, he got himself situated next to you on the floor, his shoulder bumping against yours.

“Not just about standing,” you eventually said, trying again to express how you felt. “I just…can’t. I can’t deal. I can’t do anything. I think my mind is finally breaking.”

Levi was quiet but stayed where he was, and it meant more to you than you could express to him in your state. You still felt like you were spiraling and there was no one to catch you, but you felt a little better knowing you weren’t totally alone, even if Levi didn’t consider you a friend.

Hange, as you’d come to find out, had gone to the kitchen to make you some supper and some tea, which you ate on the floor with Levi never leaving your side.

“I’ll be in my study,” they said softly, offering a little smile. “I’m going to look through some old texts that may point us in the right direction. I think to figure out how you crossed over to Eldia, we’ll need to figure out how the Marleyans could have crossed over to the human realm. You should rest for the night. You can help me out tomorrow.”

You merely nodded in response and sighed deeply when the door to the study opened and closed, leaving you alone with Levi in the living room. He cleaned up after you were done with supper, the only time he left your side, but he was back in no time.

If you were being honest with yourself, his presence was very calming. Despite him sometimes being a complete dick, he also just felt…safe. And that was something you hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

“Hange has a guest room. It was filthy, but I did my best to clean it up. You can use it and I’ll take the couch,” Levi said. “Think you can stand now that you’ve had some food in you?”

“I think so,” you whispered through the knot in your throat, but your wobbly legs barely worked as you tried to stand on them.

Instead of making a snide remark or getting angry with you, Levi wordlessly took it upon himself to scoop you into his arms, saving you the trouble of having to walk.

The suddenness of it and his gracefulness in lifting you up and carrying you left you breathless. You watched him with wide eyes, lips slightly parted, and you clung to him for dear life.

The window in the guest room was big, silvery moonlight pouring in and illuminating the room. It was a simple room, not much in it but a bed and a wardrobe. As Levi gently set you down on the bed, panic shot through you the moment he tried to pull away.

Your hand shot out to grip his wrist as hard as you could, your eyes pleading as they met Levi’s inquisitive grey ones.

“Please don’t go,” you pleaded with him, voice just above a whisper. “Will you stay?”

“You want me to stay?” he asked, as if not fully comprehending.

“I want you to stay,” you breathed out. To further confirm it, you shifted until there was enough room on the bed for the both of you, an invitation for Levi to lie down with you. It may have been a trick of the moonlight, but you were certain that he looked a little nervous.

“Are you afraid I’m gonna compromise your purity or something?” you joked, offering a weak smile.

Levi gave you a deadpan stare but was more confident as he moved to lie down next to you on the bed.

“Seems like you’re feeling better if you’ve got jokes,” he remarked, his eyes staring pointedly at the ceiling.

But you were looking at him and you didn’t take your eyes off him.

“Thank you for staying,” you whispered. “Thank you for helping me.”

At that, Levi turned to look at you, scanning over your face.

“I’m sorry about Pieck,” he said.

Your heart sank at the thought of her, but you shook your head lightly, pushing her to the back of your mind once more.

“I’m sorry you’re stuck with me,” you sighed, tears welling in your eyes. When you felt them sting at your eyes, you turned your head away from Levi, staring at the ceiling like he had been doing before.

“Emb. Look at me.”

You turned your head again to look at him, a little embarrassed.

“It’s okay to cry and to be upset,” Levi reminded you. “Don’t try and hide it from me. Don’t hide it from anyone.”

“I’m weak,” you lamented, but Levi gave you a stern look.

“That isn’t weakness,” he said.

“I bet you never get emotional like this,” you countered, but Levi’s face remained composed.

“Stop comparing yourself. Just let yourself be who you are,” he said.

The words struck a chord in you.

It was true, you were constantly comparing yourself, looking for yourself in other people. Nobody had ever clocked that about you so fast, and what’s more, called you out on it. The urge to cry had left you, tears drying up, and you even felt a little elated.

You couldn’t help yourself. In one quick motion, you were nestled up against Levi’s side, smiling a little at how it had made him tense up. But he didn’t pull away.

That feeling of safety overwhelmed you now. The closer you were to Levi, the safer you felt.

You shifted a bit to get comfortable and some hair fell over your eyes, but you didn’t mind. Fed and exhausted from the day’s events, you felt sleep coming quick.

“Good night, Levi,” you yawned, eyes closing.

The last thing you registered was the sensation of Levi’s fingertips brushing the hair from your eyes.

----------

You awoke the next morning to the sound of people outside, pieces of your dream still flitting through your mind.

With a big yawn and an even bigger stretch of your limbs, you felt a little more awake. Turning to the window, you could see that sunrise was imminent, but only tiny rays of sunlight had begun to peak over the horizon. Crowds of villagers were hurrying along the streets, most likely to get to their temple where they’d be resting for the day.

As you stretched again, it was then that you realized Levi wasn’t around. Strange, the way your heart sank. Part of you really believed he would stay the whole night with you.

You shook those thoughts out of your head and straightened yourself out, making a mental note to ask Hange where you could clean yourself up. As you left the guestroom, the smell of eggs and toasted bread filled the air, and your stomach twisted with hunger.

“Smells good,” you complimented to no one in particular, heading over to the kitchen to see none other than Levi in the kitchen, frying up another batch of eggs.

“Levi?” you asked incredulously.

“Good morning,” he said flatly, his eyes on the pan full of eggs. “Hange’s still asleep. How many eggs do you want?”

“Two. No, three!” you said, excited at the prospect of real food. Your snack stash was getting low, and you hadn’t really been fond of the food Levi had given you in his little mountain hideout.

Levi slid some eggs onto a plate for you, and before you could thank him, you jumped at a loud screech that filled the air. Moments later, Hange was racing into the kitchen, hair a mess and glasses half off their face, like you’d seen yesterday.

“Man, oh man, do I smell eggs?!” they exclaimed.

Levi clicked his tongue in dismay as Hange barreled into him and scooped up most of the eggs to pile onto their plate, only leaving a couple left.

“You’re so disgusting,” Levi sneered, but he didn’t retaliate any further. He took the remaining eggs and some toast, sitting across from you at the table while Hange chose to sit right next to you.

“How’d you sleep?” Hange asked you between bites of their breakfast, and you gave a polite smile, sneaking a glance at Levi.

“Very well, thanks,” you answered, tearing a piece of toast to munch on. “Hange, do you not celebrate the Three Nights?”

“I see Levi’s been telling you about our customs! Very moving,” Hange cackled, fixing their glasses before turning to look at you. “Most Eldians celebrate the Three Nights, it’s true, but us Scouts have too much on our plate right now to be able to take the time to alter our schedules like that.”

Scouts.

Levi had mentioned something about Scouts before, when you’d moved through the verse mirror together.

It can be taxing to move through the verse mirror for even the most experienced Scout.

“Scouts?” you asked, but you caught the way Levi was glaring at Hange as you asked, like they’d divulged too much information.

Why did he want to keep you in the dark so badly?

Hange looked like they wanted to say more, but one look at Levi told them not to.

“We’ll talk about it another time,” they told you dismissively, then strategically changed the subject. “I may as well have been partaking in the celebration last night, though. I hardly got any sleep while I was looking through all my textbooks to figure out how you could have gotten here. My hypothesis of the Marleyan Warriors targeting you specifically in the human realm is getting stronger and stronger the more I research.”

Marleyan Warriors.

Warriors and Scouts. There had to be some correlation.

Was Levi a Scout?

You tried to sneak a glance at him, briefly watching as he took a sip of his tea, and you looked away before he could catch you watching him.

Your thoughts made their way to Pieck, and it made your heart hurt. Was she a Warrior?

And why would she be targeting you?

You were slowly losing your appetite the more you danced around these thoughts. You shook your head slightly, brows furrowed, as if the physical shaking would remove the thoughts from your head.

You could also feel Levi’s eyes on you as you did so, but this time you chose to ignore him and forced yourself to take another bite of food.

Hange didn’t wait for anyone else to speak up and continued talking.

“After breakfast let’s go back to my study, Embla. I want as much background on your history with Pieck as you can give me. I’m almost sure that there’s going to be pieces to the puzzle sprinkled in, things that you, as a human, probably didn’t think twice about.”

The thought of hashing out your past, knowing you’d be bringing up so much of your pain, made you physically ill.

“Okay,” you whispered, eyes cast down at your eggs.

You swallowed thickly, pushing those dark thoughts back, and focused on the now uncomfortable task of finishing your plate.

Again, you felt those piercing grey eyes on you, but you didn’t meet his gaze. As you finished your breakfast and brought your plate to the kitchen sink, you turned to Hange, who was doing the same.

“Do you have a bathroom I could use? I really need to take a bath and get cleaned up,” you said, tugging at your clothes. “And maybe I could get some laundry done so I can wash these clothes?”

“Let me show you to the bathroom!” Hange said, tugging you along.

You walked past the guestroom and study, all the way down the hall until you reached the door to the bathroom, which Hange swung open.

“Go ahead and get cleaned up in there. There are already some charms in place to keep the water hot and whatnot. Set your clothes outside the door and I’ll work on those for you!” they said. “They’ll be spotless by the time you’re done.”

“Oh, Hange, no, you don’t have to wash my clothes—” you started, but Hange let out a cackle, head thrown back as they laughed.

“I forget how hard things can be for humans sometimes. You guys really don’t have a speck of magic left in your realm, huh? Clean clothes are a simple charm, too. Most cleaning can be done that way,” they explained.

From behind Hange, Levi appeared, his brow raised in annoyance.

“Exactly. Which is why it boggles the mind that you choose to live like a pig,” he said to Hange, arms folded over his chest. “Maybe take a bath after Embla is done.”

Hange rolled their eyes and waved their hand in Levi’s face, clearly so used to his moods that they never once looked perturbed at his attitude.

“Have fun in there!” they told you, slamming the door in your face.

You sighed and peeled off your clothes, catching a glance of yourself in the mirror as you did so.

“Boy, I look rough,” you complained quietly, leaning in closer to inspect yourself even more.

Your hair was a mess, almost as messy as Hange’s, and your skin was dull and clearly in need of moisturizing. A whiff under your armpit made you scrunch up your nose, and you hurriedly folded up your clothes and opened the door just enough to slide the pile outside before closing it again and locking it.

The pipes were very old school, but you figured them out soon enough and watched the water fill up the tub, steam rising from the tub and soothing you.

Eventually it was filled enough to get in, and you fiddled with the pipes again until the water stopped spouting from the spigot.

An audible moan escaped you as you lowered yourself into the bath, your body relaxing with the warm water. Hange had a nice collection of soaps and bath salts and oils, and you helped yourself to them, dropping some salts and oils in while you decided which soap you were going to use. You used a small, rolled up towel as a guard between your neck and the edge of the tub so you could get comfortable, and as soon as you got situated, you closed your eyes and let yourself relax. There were no thoughts allowed – you just wanted to let yourself feel the warmth of the bathwater, feel the way the salts moved in the bath, smell the lovely scents of the bath oils, and forego everything else.

You’d put in a few drops of lavender oil, and it calmed you down heavily, nearly lulling you back to sleep. Snippets of the dream you’d had came back, and you allowed yourself to indulge in those false memories, mostly because Levi had been the center character in your dream.

You’d fallen asleep easily last night, comforted by his warmth and firm body next to yours. The scent of him had permeated your dreams, and you’d dreamed of him in a forest of fir trees as it rained down on the two of you. Such a lush, fresh scent. In your dream, he’d looked sad, and he was standing far away from you. And you remembered calling out to him, hand outstretched, unable to touch him. It all felt so familiar.

A knock on the door made you slowly open your eyes, half expecting it to be Levi. The thought made your heart skip a beat and your body heat up despite the already warm bath. Just the image of him coming in and raking his eyes over your bare body was enough to make you squirm a little.

You smiled a little when you heard Hange’s voice on the other side of the door, ignoring the disappointment that overtook your heart.

“Your clothes are clean!” they announced, and that was that.

Charms worked fast and well, it seemed. You remembered yesterday, how much cleaner the house looked after spending just a little bit of time in Hange’s study. You’d surmised that Levi was just a quick and diligent cleaner, but you had failed to remember just how different this realm was compared to yours.

There was magic and sorcery and lush landscapes and strange but delightful people. It surprised you just how wrong the myths were. Eldians looked just like humans. They had their own customs and their own stories and their own lives. Many stories said they were shifters and could shift into Titan form at will, but those same stories made it sound like Eldians were constantly in Titan form, just waiting for the opportunity to catch a lost human and eat them for supper. The entire time you’d been in this world which, granted, hadn’t been that long, you hadn’t felt the immobilizing fear that human myths often talked about. There was nothing sinister here. How ironic. The place where you should have felt cruelty and loss and fear was not at all what it seemed, and the place you should have felt safe and at peace was the place that held all that cruelty and malice. The human world had a lot of work to do.

Maybe it was a mistake to go back.

No.

You couldn’t think like that. There was still so much to do at home. There was still so much grief to process and so many situations to resolve. There was still so much life to live there.

And one thing seemed to ring true. In your world, there was no magic. In this world, magic was rampant. Eldians had surely taken it all and never given any back.

The thought soured your mood a little bit. But hell, it kept your bath warm while you sulked.

-----

By the time you got out, got dressed, and made yourself presentable, it was late morning. Levi was nowhere to be found and Hange was in their study, perusing through books.

“Where’s Levi?” you asked, sitting in the chair you’d sat in last time.

“He took off to get something is what he said,” Hange said distractedly, their eyes never leaving the page they were reading. “He’s always so vague. Getting him to reveal details about anything is like pulling teeth.”

“I thought it was just me,” you grumbled, but felt relief at the thought Levi was like this with everyone.

Hange bookmarked their page and shut their book, which closed with a heavy thud, and then their attention was on you at once.

“I’m sorry to have to ask this of you, but we need to delve into your human life in more detail, especially around Pieck. It sounds like a sore subject, but we can take breaks,” Hange said.

You thought back to yesterday, the way you were spiraling, and the thought of risking it again today was horrific. But Hange was right, it needed to be done. If you wanted to go home, it needed to be done. You couldn’t be scared of things anymore.

“I’ll guide you through it,” Hange promised. “Let’s start with how you met. You mentioned it was a few years back? At your…what did you call it?”

“Apartment,” you clarified, your gaze on the wall, but staring at nothing. In your mind’s eye, you were looking at the drawing of the flower on the top of your door. “I was just barely moving in, and she was thinking about moving into that same building. We became fast friends and she joked that meeting me that day sealed the deal for her. She moved in with…she had – she had a roommate.”

This was where it was going to get really hard.

You swallowed thickly, feeling that knot start to form in your throat.

Would you even be able to get all of this out? It was still so fresh. Even just the thought of having to say it all out loud had your heart sputtering and your mind spinning. Tears stung at your eyes as you tried to think of the best way to say everything.

“We can take a break, Embla…,” Hange offered, their eyes full of concern, but you shook your head firmly, your hands gripping the edge of your seat.

“No,” you breathed out, “I have to admit it eventually. I have to remind myself that it’s real.”

Hange waited patiently, still as a statue as you collected yourself.

“Pieck moved in with a roommate. One of her closest friends she’s known since childhood. His name was Porco, but he went by Pock. I became friends with him, too, and then we started hanging out with one of his best friends…Reiner.”

The knot in your throat was loosening up. Suddenly, it felt like you couldn’t get it out fast enough. You were so terrified that you wouldn’t physically be able to even say the words, but now it was like you had to say it all, and tell someone, anyone, about your anguish.

“Reiner and I started dating,” you revealed. “We were all inseparable. Reiner and I were actually going to move in together. I lived alone, so he was going to move in with me, I should say. We were always all hanging out at my apartment…”

You took in a shaky breath, feeling that void start to form around you again. You tried to push it back.

“He died, Hange. Reiner died.”

You didn’t know if you’d ever actually said it out loud.

Reiner was dead.

Tears were coming in full force now. Squeezing your eyes shut, you struggled to piece together the rest of the story for her.

“I lost everything when he died. I just couldn’t function anymore. I couldn’t go to work anymore, and I had to move out of that apartment because it held too much of him in there. I had to leave. I just moved out of that place, right before I got here. I was going to start fresh, somewhere new. It’s been nearly eight months and I just feel…lost,” you finished, hanging your head.

It was quiet for a few minutes. As much as it had hurt to reveal such a painful recent history, it also felt strangely good.

Finally, you opened your eyes to meet Hange’s gaze. They held a very gentle look in their eyes and gave you a small smile when you looked at them, but there was something beyond that gentleness.

Hange knew you had noticed it and spoke up before you could ask any questions.

“Emb…I know all of them. Pieck, Pock, Reiner…they’re all Marleyans,” they revealed. “They’ve all been missing for over three years now.”

At first, it was hard to process what Hange was saying. It didn’t sound real.

“All of them?” you choked out, your entire body slowly filling with dread.

“Yes. All of them. Even Reiner,” Hange whispered, though it sounded as though they really didn’t want to say it. “And we believe they all hold the Power of the Titan.”

There it was again, that strange phrase. Power of the Titan. Try as you might, you couldn’t recall ever hearing that in your human myths.

But that wasn’t what was concerning you right now.

All you could think about was Reiner.

Reiner had been Eldian. Marleyan. He wasn’t human. He had lied to you, and Pieck and Pock had lied, too. They were liars and they had picked you for whatever reason. They were all a part of something that you hadn’t been privy to. It all felt like some big joke suddenly.

“Why?” you asked, mostly to yourself, but Hange hummed and shook their head.

“I hate to say it, I really do, because I know they’re your friends. But they sought you out for a reason. And we have to get to the bottom of it,” they said.

You knew Hange was right. Logically, it was a solid point of reasoning. Still, those feelings of denial dredged up in you, and you almost wanted to get angry.

Hange was wrong. They had to be wrong. Your friends wouldn’t betray you like this.

You thought back to all your memories together. They had all been there for you in ways nobody else ever had been.

You thought back to Pieck making you spill your wine on your carpet when she hugged you too hard.

And Pock, drawing that stupid flower on your doorframe because he didn’t know how to draw mistletoe and he was hellbent on making you and Reiner finally kiss each other, before you got together.

And Reiner.

Your bottom lip trembled.

Reiner, buying your groceries for you whenever you were too tired.

Reiner, orchestrating your first ever surprise birthday party. Nobody had ever done that for you before.

Reiner, the man who died two weeks before moving in with you.

Reiner, the man who had been lying to you.

“I think I need a break,” you admitted, wiping furiously at your eyes.

“I’ll go make you some smokeroot tea,” Hange offered, but you were out of the study before they could even finish their sentence.

You stalked back to the guestroom, throwing the door open and immediately sinking into the bed. Your entire body was trembling and you feared you were on the verge of another breakdown.

“I’m so weak,” you mumbled to yourself, crossing your arms over your torso, as if hugging yourself.

You hated being like this. It often seemed like you felt all these emotions and there was nowhere to put them. You just had to feel them and juggle them all at once.

You didn’t even notice when the door opened. Only when you heard the footsteps did you tense up, thinking it was Hange with some tea.

But when someone sat at the edge of the bed, you finally lifted your head to take a peek, surprised to see Levi there.

“Hange told me,” was all he said, and you let your tears flow again.

“I don’t want it to be true,” you confessed, peering at Levi through your tear-soaked lashes.

He said nothing, but he kept his gaze on you, a mask of calm over his face.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said, and you just shrugged, sitting up a bit.

You remembered how safe you’d felt with him last night, the closer you were to him.

And again, without thinking it through, you pressed yourself into his side, your arms wrapping around him.

You thought it would be strange, allowing yourself to be close to another man after Reiner’s death, even in a non-romantic sense, but that hadn’t really been the case with Levi. He had helped you so much, and you had never felt like you were in danger with him around. Plus, you were just so drawn to him. You had been since the moment you’d met him. You weren’t expecting Levi to offer any sort of comfort, other than letting you cry on him, but you were pleasantly surprised to feel his arm wrap around your shoulders, keeping you close to him.

The tears dried up a little quicker after that, but even after, you stayed like that with Levi. You listened to the steady beat of his heart, basked in his surprising warmth, and let yourself bask in the smell of him, that soothing scent of rainy pines and tea leaves.

Part of you felt it was wrong to be like this with Levi, for many reasons. He wasn’t even human, for starters, he was Eldian. You were still distraught over the death of the man you’d loved. The two of you hardly knew each other. So why did it feel so natural?

But it couldn’t be romantic feelings. That would be insanity.

Yet, the thought of it not being romantic also made you sad.

“I’m a mess,” you muttered under your breath, not really thinking Levi could hear you.

“You’re not,” he murmured back.

In a bout of courage, you reached up to grab his hand that dangled off your shoulder. He didn’t pull away.

------------

Hange hadn’t needed any more information from you after you’d spilled your guts about what had been happening to you back in the human world.

After Levi had comforted you, the two of you had left the guestroom to have some tea and let Hange do some digging.

“Where did you go off to today?” you asked Levi, outstretched on Hange’s sofa.

“Had to get something,” was his reply, which made you a little upset. Always so cagey.

“Get what?”

Levi shot you an annoyed look over his mug, and you could tell he was debating whether or not to even answer you.

“Will you ever stop asking questions?” he grumbled.

“Will you ever start answering them?” you shot back.

His mood swings were starting to give you whiplash. He was so caring and helpful, but also a complete dick sometimes.

Levi gave you a hard stare and you met it as best as you can, lifting your chin a little, and he finally grunted and put his mug down.

“I went to grab some things to work a new charm,” he revealed. “And before you ask, I’m not going to tell you what the charm is. Hange’s got their suspicions about something, and so I went and grabbed things I knew we would need.”

You pouted a little but made do with his half-answer, taking another sip of your tea.

“Is it going to take me home?” you asked. “Today?”

Levi couldn’t answer, however. Hange was bounding into the living room before you could really process their quickness, interrupting you and Levi, and you could see a glint in their eyes.

“I think I’m finally getting somewhere!” they exclaimed, hands in the air.

“Care to share?” Levi asked, an eyebrow raised.

Hange took their sweet time, though, choosing to pour themselves a mug of tea and plop down on a chair before answering.

“I believe they’re using a very old conjuring technique,” they said, the steam of their tea fogging up their glasses. “This won’t make much sense to you, Emb, but Levi, follow along. The Marleyans are practicing sigillary.”

Si-what-ary?

You honed in on Levi’s reaction, the way he tensed up, a storm cloud rolling over his eyes.

You were honestly getting frustrated. Here you were, divulging all sorts of information, and you weren’t getting any back. It was very kind of Hange and Levi to be helping you, a strange human in their realm, but you were getting a little fed up with being so in the dark.

“Damn it,” Levi sighed. “I guess we should have guessed that.”

“Can someone please fill me in?” you cut in, nearly slamming your mug down on the coffee table. “I don’t know if you guys are trying to protect me from something or what, but I need to know what this is all about. What exactly did I accidentally get involved in?”

Levi and Hange exchanged glances, but you sighed impatiently, looking between the two of them.

“Please tell me,” you begged, sitting up straight. “I need to know what’s going on.”

“Alright,” Hange conceded. “I guess that’s fair. You’ll need to know as much as you can, just in case.”

You nodded once, indicating that you were ready, all while ignoring the glare Levi shot Hange's way.

“We mentioned that some Eldians created their own sect, the Marleyans. Well, Marley was founded upon a very specific belief, that belief being that Ymir, and especially her daughters, should not have sealed the gates to the human world. This is because they believe that we not only left behind some magic in the human realm, but also that…” Hange took a breath before continuing. “Marleyans believe that Eldians can turn into mortals, and mortals can turn into Eldians. It’s very powerful magic and Eldians believe it is impossible. Really, the only human to have ever become Eldian is Ymir, and that was purely an accident. The reason all of this is important background is because that was also around the last time sigillary was practiced.”

You blinked a few times, trying to absorb what Hange had just said.

Ymir becoming an Eldian, the first Titan, was an accident?

“W-what’s sigillary?” you stammered out. It was better to push through and get as much insight as possible before beginning your real questions.

“Sigillary is what humans used to harness their magic. It’s what turned Ymir into the first Titan and Eldian,” Hange said.

Levi’s eyes were on you, and it felt like they were boring a hole into you.

“Levi mentioned that humans have been…retelling our history,” Hange spoke up after a minute, cocking their head to the side. “I would love to know just how skewed it’s gotten, but that will be for another time. Right now, we need to focus on just how the hell the Warriors were able to find the ancient sigils and master them. I’m really doubting that they have that type of power, even with all of them combined.”

“You forget how many of them stole the Power of the Titan,” Levi reminded them, and you furrowed your brows.

“What do you mean the Marleyans stole the Power of the Titan?” you asked. “And what is the Power of the Titan? You two have said it before, but I don’t understand. I thought that all Eldians were Titans.”

At that, Hange burst into laughter, grabbing their sides as they threw their head back and cackled.

“Sounds like our history is really skewed for the humans!” they snickered. “Oh, Emb. Thanks. I needed that.”

To your surprise, Levi spoke up.

“All Eldians have the…necessary genetics, I suppose, to turn into Titans,” he said. “However, not all Eldians have the Power of the Titan.

“The Power is passed down. Do you remember what I said about the Three Nights, how we celebrate Ymir’s daughters? That’s because they all inherited Ymir’s Titan power, and they inherited it in gruesome ways. You can only inherit Titan abilities in certain ways, and they’re not pretty. In total, there are nine Eldians with inherited Titans. The only way to inherit those powers is for the one possessing the Titan to die and pass it on to their successor. When the Marleyans rebelled, they took six Eldians with the Power of the Titan and they killed them and took the Power for themselves.”

“How do those powers get inherited?” you asked, though you dreaded the answer. From the dark looks in Hange and Levi’s eyes, you knew you would likely regret asking.

“That’s where your stories ring a little true,” Levi said solemnly. “Ymir’s daughters had to eat her. Their mother died right before the height of the war began between humans and Eldians, and Ymir was the only one with the Power of the Titan. They knew that the true advantage would be becoming Titans themselves. The eldest, Maria, went first. She spent the first night with her dead mother. On the second night, it was Rose who took over. Then, on the final night, it was Sina, the youngest, who finished Ymir off.”

You felt sick to your stomach.

“But why?” you choked out, afraid you might gag. “How did they know that eating their own mother was going to let them inherit the Power of the Titan?”

“Because of sigillary,” Levi answered plainly. The story didn’t faze him at all. It was just part of his history. “When Ymir was made into a Titan, it was done by humans who performed a type of magic that would etch sigils into her bones and her blood. By consuming her body, her daughters were able to have those sigils in their bodies. Once you have them in you, you can’t reverse the process. It’s a kind of magic that is so intense, it has spanned millennia.”

“And now people have to eat each other to get those powers?” you breathed out, horrified.

“Thankfully that barbaric practice started and ended with the daughters of Ymir,” Levi said. “We’ll never forget their sacrifice, of course, but we’re not going to grind up bones and drink blood and chew on ligaments.”

Now you were really feeling queasy. Why did he have to be so blunt about it?

“You look green, Embla,” Hange commented. “Not a fan of cannibalism?”

“Is anyone?” you countered, but there was no bite in your tone. You were just trying to keep yourself from throwing up.

You shut your eyes to stop the room from spinning, referencing what Levi and Hange were telling you to compare with what you thought you knew.

“I thought Ymir made a deal with the devil,” you squeaked. “That’s what we’ve always been told. And we were told there were originally 10 Titans.”

“Humans are all imbeciles,” Levi snapped.

“Levi,” Hange chided.

You took deep breaths, the nausea slowly fading, and when you felt better, you opened your eyes again.

The room wasn’t spinning anymore, and both Levi and Hange had their eyes on you. It was then that you saw how Eldian they were. So used to their history, so much older than you. Though they looked young, appearing only a little older than you, you remembered that Levi was at least a couple hundred years old. And now, you could almost see it. You saw it behind his eyes, how he’d seen so much and had been through so much. Now, even with lively Hange, you could see the years in their eyes as well. You wondered briefly if they’d been there when this story had begun.

It was strange, knowing that the myths you’d been told were really just myths, not founded on much truth at all, other than the fact that the Eldian realm existed and some of the characters were right. But Hange was correct in that you couldn’t dwell on that too much right now. It would have to wait.

“I’m guessing sigillary isn’t just used to turn people into Titans. What have you been able to figure out?” you asked.

“For one thing, I’m not sure Eldians even have the resources to master it. Well, I wasn’t sure, until we had our little chat. Sigillary was often used to transform things, or create things, like with Ymir. There is much speculation even in Eldia how the portals between the human realm and the Eldian realm came to be. Maybe it was due to sigils? And many of the texts referencing sigillary suggest that it can only be done in the human realm. Though it’s our realm that has all the magic, the sigillary performed on Ymir happened in the human realm and has lasted for two thousand years here in our world. I’m guessing the fact that these sigils exist within Eldians with inherited Titans, in the Eldian realm, give those sigils even more longevity than, say, the human realm.”

That made some sense. You nodded to show that you were following along.

“Some portals to the human realm still exist, though, right?” you asked, and Hange nodded.

“Yes. In Eldia, there’s really only one portal and it’s heavily guarded and warded. Eldians don’t really visit humans anymore and it’s extremely difficult to get approval to cross into your realm anyway. However, I have a hunch that Marleyans founded Marley where they did because there was a portal there, too,” they said.

There was so much history to wrap your brain around.

“When was Marley founded?” you asked.

“It was over two hundred years ago now,” Hange answered. “They had a rebellion and took six of our Titans, then retreated to some unused land. Marley is heavily guarded and warded as well, it may as well be a separate realm entirely. Not even the Scouts can push through. There’s been a lot of unrest ever since.”

The Scouts.

“Are you a Scout, Hange?” you asked, eyes lighting up as you turned to Levi. “Are you, Levi?”

“We are! The Scout Regiment is one of our military factions. I’m a section commander,” Hange said proudly.

Levi kept quiet, but your curiosity outweighed your slight intimidation.

“Are you a commander, Levi?” you pressed, but he glowered at you.

It would make sense. He held authority, and you felt that he could take control of any situation. Plus, he was kind of scary sometimes.

“He’s a captain,” Hange answered for him.

“Captain Levi,” you said with a grin. You expected him to double down on his glaring but, to your delight, he merely rolled his eyes and looked away.

“He must like you,” Hange continued, a sly grin on their face. “When people get on his nerves, he whacks ‘em.”

As if to show the sincerity of their words, you watched as Levi, quick as a cat, swatted Hange over the head and elicited a yelp from them. You pursed your lips together to hide your laugh, hoping to escape Hange’s fate.

But, as Levi left the room, grumbling to himself, Hange hanging off their armchair and whining, you let out a little snicker.

***

The rest of the day passed you by, with Levi working on something with whatever he’d gotten today, and Hange back in their study.

You were largely left to your own devices, unless Hange had a question for you, but you filled the day looking at some history books that Hange let you borrow.

What you uncovered was gruesome and fascinating.

There had definitely been a time when magic was rampant in the human realm, but it was hard to harness, and most humans didn’t have what it took to handle and control it. However, eventually certain humans were able to learn how to use magic and passed that knowledge down to their descendants. They found that magic had its own language, and thus sigillary was born. Entire lineages were born to be dedicated to witchcraft, mostly using magic to become healers or alchemists, but their all-encompassing term was “witches”.

Eventually, the humans who didn’t have these capabilities grew wary of those who did, and some even sought that power for themselves. One in particular, a King Fritz, eagerly and brutally captured witches, and tried to take their magic from them. Ymir was among one of those witches.

King Fritz wasn’t a name you were familiar with, so it was safe to say that he had been lost to time or that humans had purposely rewritten the stories to exclude the evildoings of a particular human being. Even in Eldian texts, there wasn’t a lot of background on him. There wasn’t much history available on Ymir’s early life anymore either, but it was heavily assumed that she was a “runt” in her family, the weakest of her lineage. Her own family passed her up to King Fritz when he attacked her village. She had been abandoned – betrayed – by everyone she’d ever loved.

That part struck you hard, and you felt a heaviness in your heart as you learned about Ymir’s cruel fate. You had to stop reading for a while, choosing instead to sit with your sympathy. It was strange, feeling bad for a character that had been humanity’s antagonist for so long. But now, knowing her story, about to uncover the whole truth, you had never related to a person more.

Images of Pieck, Pock, and Reiner filled your head, and you clenched your jaw as your heart clenched in your chest. Had they really betrayed you like this? What was it about you that made them target you? That was the biggest mystery of all. You weren’t anything special. You were just some anxiety-ridden girl who spooked too easy and couldn’t even kill a spider on her own.

There was something you were missing, some piece of the puzzle you hadn’t found yet. It felt like it was at the tip of your tongue, right in your peripheral vision, but it was escaping you, always just out of reach. If you could just get to the bottom of the reason they’d found you and latched onto you, part of you just knew that you could get the whole picture.

***

Before the sun started to set, you decided to go for a walk. It wasn’t fun being cooped up in a house all day, and you were starting to get antsy. The idea of taking a little stroll and exploring didn’t seem so scary, not when you knew the village would still be empty and that the likelihood of running into a Titan was apparently slimmer than you had originally been made to believe.

Not wanting to disturb Hange and Levi, you left the house as quietly as you could, walking down the street and making mental notes so you wouldn’t get lost. You also needed to remember to start heading back before nightfall, as to not attract unwanted attention. That seemed like a far off worry, though.

Ragako was small but peaceful and well-structured; much of the architecture reminded you of Germanic influences. The streets were desolate and it was exceedingly quiet, but it wasn’t eerie or lonely at all. Maybe there was some sort of charm over the village, but it felt full of love.

You did a lot of window shopping, peering into bakery shops and clothing boutiques, enthralled by what you saw. The style of clothing was old-fashioned, so different from what you were used to. You looked down at your outfit, noting how plain and modern it was, just jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, and you frowned a little bit. Maybe this was why Eldians were able to clock you as a human right away. Maybe Hange and Levi could score you some new clothes, if it came down to it and you’d be here for a while.

You stopped for a moment, mulling over the thought. What if you were here for a while? What if you couldn’t make it back ever? Surprisingly, the idea wasn’t as anxiety-inducing as you would have thought it’d be. It still wasn’t lost on you that you hadn’t gone fully insane upon learning where you were; really, the only time you’d lost your mind was having to think about your painful past, and the fears associated with that. Traveling across realms was apparently easier than dealing with your normal human experiences. And, before all this, you’d been on the cusp of starting fresh back home anyway. Perhaps this was the universe’s funny way of granting you that wish.

Definitely something to think about. But you’d have shove those thoughts back for later and let yourself just be right now.

Looking up to the sky, you admired the deep blue of it, only some wisps of clouds blotting it, then caught how low the sun was. It was going to dip into the horizon soon, which meant you needed to start heading back.

As you turned around, however, you jumped a little when you realized you weren’t alone. Levi was making his way towards you, his eyes hard as steel and his stride purposeful.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he called out to you.

“I just wanted to get out of the house and stretch my legs,” you said, shrinking back. Was it really so bad to do that?

“You should have at least let me know before you snuck out, you little shit. You have Hange freaked out thinking you somehow transported back to your own world. Don’t you ever use your brain?” Levi scolded.

“Nobody’s even in town! I thought it’d be the safest time to go for a walk,” you argued, walking towards him. As the two of you met in the middle, Levi’s hand shot out at you to grab your elbow. He was going to actually drag you back to Hange’s place.

You struggled in his grip, but he was exceptionally strong, and you eventually relented and let him guide you back, both of you clearly angry.

As soon as you crossed the threshold into Hange’s house, you tore away from him and took a breath as Hange rushed to you, eyes wild.

“Emb! I was so scared we’d lost you! Not to be selfish, but I didn’t want you going home without solving this crazy mystery of ours!” they exclaimed.

As angry at Levi as you were, you did feel bad for making Hange worry.

“Sorry, Hange. I just wanted to go outside for a while,” you apologized, then turned to glare at Levi over your shoulder. “I didn’t realize I would be reprimanded for it.”

“Insolent brat,” Levi grunted, his grey eyes hard as metal.

You clenched your hands into fists and turned back to Hange, giving them a nod.

“Excuse me, Hange,” you said hurredly, skirting past them to head to the guestroom.

You slammed the door shut behind you, heart pounding. Angry tears welled up in your eyes as you sat by the window, the world outside blurry as you cried.

Stupid Levi. He didn’t need to be so mean like that and make you feel like some bratty kid. You wiped your eyes, clearing your vision so you could take a look outside and calm yourself.

The sun was setting quickly, that golden glow of sunset drenching the village. The sky that had once been a deep blue was now bleeding with rich hues of orange, scarlet, and rose. It was beautiful, but you could hardly admire it.

Again, you thought of Ymir and related strongly to her, going so far as to equate your situation with being trapped and imprisoned like she had been. It wasn’t nearly the same, you knew that deep down, but you had little to no control over your situation, just like Ymir. You were powerless right now. At least Levi was no King Fritz.

To distract yourself and make yourself calm down, you thought back to the other things you’d learned, especially about King Fritz and Ymir’s transformation.

King Fritz had learned a lot about sigillary from his brutal conquest for magic and believed that he could etch some very powerful sigils into Ymir’s deepest parts, her blood and her bones, and then consume those parts of her. He hadn’t killed every witch that had crossed his path – he had actually enslaved some of them in order to help him understand and practice sigils and ordered them to be the ones to cast this powerful spell on Ymir. It surprised you and disgusted you to think of how far he would go for power, but humans were still like that to this day. The lengths a person would go for even the tiniest possibility of gaining power made you sick.

But you were snapped out of your thoughts when the door to the guestroom opened. You kept your face neutral, expecting to see Hange, but you did a double take when you saw who it really was.

Levi.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman fic #levi fanfiction #attack on titan fanfiction #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction

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mana-jjk · 2 months

Text

i have the flu right now y’all so um sick inuokko xoxo gossip girl (i’ve never seen gossip girl don’t correct me)

yuuta

• yuuta has no idea how to take care of himself when he’s sick, i kind of headcanon that rika’s cursed energy kept him semi-healthy so i don’t think he was sick very often

• when he was little, his mom used to make him okayu, but it’s been a long time since he’s even seen her

• so in a word, sick yuuta is a little pathetic lol

• he gets confused and a little delirious, which translates to being majorly clingy and forgetting that most of the time he’s contagious

• maki does not play about getting sick, she needs to be at peak 24/7 so she’ll literally get a ruler to keep him 6 feet apart, but she will throw some medicine at his face

• panda can’t get sick, but he does find sick humans pretty gross. so he’ll let yuuta cling to him, pat his back, but as soon as the mocos comes out, he’s nudging him away to go spray Clorox on himself

• toge probably gives in the most to him, he has no life preservation instincts when it comes to his friends. as soon as yuuta sniffled pathetically, looked at him with lost, wet eyes, he was a goner

• he forces him into blankets, bundling up and letting him lean on him. at some point, yuuta always ends up laying his head on his lap, toge’s fingers brushing through his slightly gross, sweaty hair.

• he panics a little when yuuta bursts into tears at the first taste of his okayu, he thinks it tastes even better than his mom’s.

• yuuta gets extremely weepy when he’s sick, sometimes he’ll just sit there and suddenly he’s the embodiment of T^T

• toge patiently wipes the tears from his face with his thumb, putting a hot towel on his head to fight the ensuing headache with a fond if not exasperated noise, trying not to blush at the way yuuta looks at him with round eyes as if he came down from the heavens

• when yuuta feels better, he’s always mortified of how he clung to his friends, and apologizes profusely afterwards. secretly though, he’s so relieved to have not been alone, to not have his desperate hands starving for affection brushed away again

toge

• toge is kind of the opposite when he’s sick

• having anemia and tearing his throat open so often leaves him a little more susceptible to colds and infections, he’s usually stocked up on medicine but they’re always a little worse than he expects

• he’s already afraid of little noises escaping him, so the moment his throat starts getting scratchy, he locks himself in his room in a self-imposed quarantine

• maki and panda are used to this, know how this little bit of control is essential to him, so they leave him be for the most part. dropping off snacks and soup they heated on the stove outside his door

• he’s never really had anyone take care of him when he was sick, so he doesn’t really know any better to feel the loneliness of it

• so he was entirely befuddled at how insistent yuuta was that he not be alone

• unlike maki and panda, yuuta stands outside his door with a tray of steaming food that he coerced them into helping him with. slightly falling apart onigiri, a little watery okayu, and perfect honey chamomile tea

• toge tries to shoo him away, but yuuta is so insistent and he’s so tired that he eventually just gives up

• part of why toge is hit so hard by sickness, is because he never allows himself to actually go through it. he’s always stifling himself, always hiding in some way or another and it’s enough to push yuuta into being a little more forceful than usual

• toge refuses to let him on the bed since it’s full of his germs, so yuuta sits on the floor right next to it. toge ends up glaring at him half heartedly, hiding under the covers to try and keep his sickness in a bubble

• but yuuta just smiles at him sheepishly, and sneaks the food into his hands, talking quietly about the endeavors it took to make

• eventually, toge falls asleep listening to him talk, but something even he doesn’t know is that eventually, silently, tears escape behind his closed eyes.

• yuuta holds his hand through it, doing what little he remembers from his parents, and everything toge does for him

• toge scolds him when he’s better, worried that he passed his illness on to him, but yuuta never promises to not do it again, not when he has full intention

anyway, forgive the typos because i literally cannot see right now, being sick and living alone sucks absolute ass

#inumaki toge #inuokko #yuuta okkotsu #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #ottoge #oh to be a gay little person with a doting partner

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liquorisce · 1 year

Note

What’s do u think of friends with benefits EreMika? They both think the other wants no strings attached and keep denying their feelings despite the chemistry and jealousy (and poor Armin is just there like… Besties please just be hOnest)

I wonder if armin would be devious enough to try something to rile them up 😈😈 like ask Mikasa out as a plus one to one of his phd social events. Maybe drop some vague comments to Eren, like, “well I’d always wanted someone like her to accompany me to these events. You know, someone smart.”

“You’ve thought of about taking her out before?”

“I mean,” Armin shrugs, “I’ve always thought she was pretty.”

All the while knowing perfectly well how crazy this makes Eren. 🤭 Mikasa has no idea, she thinks she’s just going with him as a friend (which is true). Makes fun of him when he stares at the small blonde girl in his undergraduate class a bit too long.

Mikasa probably goes home to Eren, anyway, thinking they could probably have a good fuck before bed, but Eren’s agitated as shit and a little bit drunk, throwing one too many mean comments her way.

“Did you have a good time, Mikasa?”

“Well the food was quite average. There was ice cream though. You know how I feel about ice cream.”

“Right, of course. That’s why you went. For the ice cream.”

She looks at him, confused. “No that’s not why I went to this. Obviously I went for Armin. I wouldn’t spend an hour getting ready just for kwality walls ice cream.” She’s taking her clothes off already. “It would have to be Häagen-Dazs at minimum.”

He’s distracted the entire time he fucks her, agitated and upset about something she can’t tell what, but it’s hard to think about when he slings his leg over her shoulder and fucks her so hard she can’t really think about anything at all. After he’s made her cum twice, and he’s still fired up, eyes wild with something she doesn’t understand, he says, “Clung to his arm all evening, but still came back to me didn’tcha? He doesn’t make you feel like this.” He reaches down to rub at her overstimulated clit, pulling out a choked sob from her lips. “He never will.”

The words feel distant as he pants it against her neck, breath wet and hot against her skin. But after he pulls out and spills all over her back, the words linger, seeping into her stream of consciousness slowly.

Eren pulls at some tissues, wiping her back gingerly, strangely quiet. “Sorry if I was too rough with you,” he says thickly.

As he’s about to turn and head to the bathroom to wash up, she pulls on his wrist, turning him back to face her. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“Eren,” she says, trying to be gentle. “You’re always rough with me. And you never apologise for it.”

“Well here’s your damn apology, sorry if it’s a few months too late.”

Mikasa is unprepared for the anger that clouds his features. “I don’t need an apology, Eren. I like it. You like it. I thought we knew that already.”

He turns away, irritated. “What’s going on with you?”

“What’s going on with me?”

“Yes! Why are you behaving like a fucking asshole literally two minutes after being inside of me?? And you know what, while we’re at it, what the fuck were you saying back there? Who doesn’t make me feel like this?”

“Forget it, Mikasa—“

“No, I won’t. You know I’m not sleeping with else. That’s what we agreed—“

“You went to a fucking gala with him, for fuck’s sake. As his date—“

“As a plus one—“

“You never go anywhere with me. Just sneak into my room after midnight and into my bed. Guess that’s all I’m good for, huh?”

Mikasa’s eyes widen. The room is deadly silent. “Are you using me, Mikasa? Is that it?”

Shaking, she murmurs. “Are you hearing yourself, Eren—“

“Answer the question.”

Mikasa scrambles for her clothes, sick of this entire scene. She’d stomped over her own heart for months, telling herself it didn’t matter if her own feelings got caught up in this, Eren wasn’t looking for anything serious. This was a nice thing. She didn’t want to ruin it.

And now here he is accusing her of using him??

“And now you’re leaving. Classic—“

“You never ASK ME TO GO ANYWHERE! He did! And as a friend, if you ever bothered to ask for the details.”

“Right.” He sneers. “And you would come with me if I asked you—“

“I WOULD,” she yells. “And I know it’s shocking because you’re a dick, but I would go anywhere you ask me to, if you’d just fucking ask. But you never do.”

She lets that hang in the air, cheeks hot with her confession, eyes filled with unshed angry tears.

Eren’s gaze softens, his brows furrow, he looks at her confused. “You would?”

She nods, half dressed, half insane because she didn’t know why this even came up. But the way he looked at her right now made her feel something fuzzy in her chest, something like hope.

“Im an idiot,” Eren murmurs, sounding a little bit awestruck.

“You are,” Mikasa confirms, sounding mostly relieved that they aren’t yelling at each other anymore.

He looks at her sheepishly. “Don’t put your clothes on, Mikasa. Please.”

“Are you fucking for real, Eren?”

“I want to hear you say that again. That you’ll go anywhere I ask you to.” He crowds her against the wall, his nose nudging hers playfully. “But when you’re not angry with me.”

“Maybe if you ask me out properly I might consider it.”

#eremika #fwb au #anonymous conversations

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glwstic · 1 year

Text

Rec List 2: Teen Wolf

- For Varying Degrees of Tired by alocalband

“Please, Derek, please, I–“ Stiles chokes back the beginnings of tears and clutches harder at the sleeve of Derek’s jacket. He’s on his knees, having tripped in his scramble to get to Derek from the other side of the loft. “I love you, okay? And I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, I’ve been a coward about this whole thing, but I love you. And I know you love me too. I know you do, and I need you not to leave like this, fuck, Derek, please don’t do this.”

Derek stares down at him for a long time, heart clenched in his throat.

And then he looks up at where the other Stiles is pursing his lips in a hard frown as he watches the scene.

“It isn’t real?” Derek asks for the hundredth time since the other Stiles, the real Stiles, showed up in this apparent dreamscape.

Oneshot, 2,363 words

- The Wolves Who Cried Boy by adara, Swlfangirl

In which almost none of the wolves know the true meaning of the word emergency and Stiles just wants to relax.

Oneshot, 5,008 words

- Awake by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

He wished he could say he was surprised by the scowl, but considering he was positive Derek’s face was actually hard-set that way, he couldn’t be surprised. Why he was scowling at him now, though, he had no idea. He didn’t remember doing anything to piss him off lately.

Well, this week…

Today?

It was Derek, he probably got angry at Stiles when he breathed, so it was hard to really think on it too much.

Oneshot, 3,640 words

- Illegal by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

“Scotty. I told you. Mountain Ash barrier is still up. If you need to talk to me, that’s what cell phones are for.” He reached the window and wrenched it open, leaning out so he could stare down at the pile of limbs on his front lawn, where the werewolf had fallen after his failed attempt at entering Stiles’ house. “Besides, if dad’s on the night shift, the doorbell works, too. You don’t need to—”

The words died in his throat when the face that looked up at him did not belong to Scott.

Derek Hale.

Derek Hale was standing in his front yard.

Oneshot, 3,143 words

- Model by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

“What the hell is going on in here?!”

Stiles’ screaming stopped abruptly and he twisted to look over his shoulder. Derek had frozen, one hand half down Stiles’ sweats, the other pinning his wrists to his pillow.

Both of them stared at the sheriff, who looked crossed between horrified and furious.

Oneshot, 1,612 words

- Sing by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

Sputtering with his vision swimming and head throbbing where he’d hit it against the wall, Stiles struggled to shove the shower curtain out of his face and stared up at the person looking to startle him to death.

Derek. Figured. Who else would it be? Nobody else tried to kill Stiles when he was tending to his hygiene.

Oneshot, 1,071 words

- Vulnerable by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

Scott answered him, but Stiles didn’t hear him. He bowed his head, breathing hard, feeling a panic attack threatening. Why had Scott asked him if he was himself? Why would he be asking him something like that unless...

Unless...

“Stiles!”

Derek was too close. He was way too close. He had both hands on Stiles’ cheeks, forcing him to look up at him. He looked worried, which was a weird expression to see on his face. Not that it didn’t happen, just that it was rarely directed towards Stiles.

“Stiles, breathe.”

Oneshot, 1,245 words

- SuperWolf by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

“Who are you? What are you doing? How are you doing? What is going on? Put me down!”

The man holding him let out a small chuckle, but didn’t release him until they were back on the cliff.

Where the Kappas were.

And he did, in fact, try and put Stiles down.

Stiles clung to the man tightly, arms around his neck and legs twisted so he could keep himself raised off the ground.

“Ah, not now, not now! Put me down where there aren’t any Kappas!”

(SNYE - January 5th - Crossover)

Oneshot, 4,816 words

- I Broke a Rule by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

They hadn’t ever spoken about rules, but they seemed pretty clear-cut and black and white.

No kissing, no talking about it, no feelings. Just fucking, and the occasional discussion before and after, and that was it.

Stiles knew the unspoken rules, and Derek knew the unspoken rules.

And yet somehow, they’d both broken them at almost the same time.

(SNYE - January 12th - Friends With Benefits)

Oneshot, 2,250 words

- Follow the Code by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

“I had that,” Stiles informed him, still on his ass on the hard ground.

“I could see that,” Derek said. He was still wolfed out, eyes glowing red, staring down at Stiles like he didn’t know what to make of him.

When Derek took a step forward, hand outstretched to help him up, Stiles raised his crossbow and fired. Derek leapt back a step, looking down at himself, then turned when he heard a thump, the second Omega in the area flat on its face with an arrow in its head.

Turning back to Stiles slowly, Derek frowned down at him. “You saved me.”

“I saved myself,” Stiles insisted, getting to his feet on his own.

(SNYE - January 8th - Enemies to Friends to Lovers)

Oneshot, 26,010 words

#fic rec #Sterek #sterek fanfic #teen wolf #teen wolf fanfic #stiles stilinski #derek hale #smut #fluff #angst #oneshot #supergirl #crossover

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pastelwitchling · 2 years

Text

If you're still doing prompts...

Kyle: Don't flatter yourself, Guerin. I'm a surgeon. Do you know how many dicks I've seen? Seen, touched, cleaned, shaved, catheterized, cut open, get over yourself.

***

Michael hung his head back on his pillow, the white hospital walls driving him to the brink of his nerves. Alex’s hand was on his hip and Michael clung to his naked wrist, using the touch to tether himself to his sanity.

Why was he here?

Alex brushed a thumb against Michael’s hipbone, accidentally slipping under his shirt and grazing his skin, and Michael was sure he was going to lose his mind. All he could think of was pulling Alex in until they were on top of each other, stripping Alex of all his clothes, and having him ride his cock. That had been, more or less, the bulk of his thoughts since their honeymoon.

Why am I here?

“I really don’t need this, Manes,” Michael said. That wasn’t Alex’s name anymore, but it was what he would always be to Michael.

Alex raised a brow. “Really? Because your hand’s been inching towards my crotch for the last minute.”

Michael realized what he was doing, but made no move to pull his hand away. “So?” he scoffed, grinning. “I’ve always loved your body, you know that.”

“Yeah, but . . .” Alex trailed off, looking not so amused. “It’s not just love lately, Guerin, it’s obsession.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Which would be fine, if I can just make sure there’s nothing wrong first.”

“Come on,” Michael whined, hugging Alex’s waist and pressing his nose to Alex’s hip. He nuzzled the hem of Alex’s shirt, eager to reach the skin underneath. He was pretty sure he was hard already. “What could be wrong?”

“You entered a pocket dimension that was specifically designed to keep your DNA out,” Alex said, taking Michael’s hands from his hips to hold in both of his. “We can’t be sure you didn’t suffer any side-effects. Please just humor me.”

Michael faltered. Alex had been in the military for too long for the habits to break, and where anybody else might’ve panicked, Alex set to work fixing things. He didn’t worry, not over anyone. At least, not anyone but Michael. And even as part of Michael soared that he had Alex’s attention and care like nobody else did, the other part of him couldn’t stand seeing Alex worried like this for anything.

So despite every muscle in his body aching to tear Alex’s shirt off, suck bruises onto his chest, feel Alex’s naked thighs on his aching cock, he brought Alex’s hands to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of his fingers.

“Only for you,” he said, then glanced down at Alex’s crotch, and added, “Can I just get a peek at it?”

Alex huffed, yanking his hands out of Michael’s, but he failed to hide his smile and blush.

“No,” Kyle answered instead, coming in with a clipboard, “but I’d like to see yours.” He stopped at Michael’s bedside, stared expectantly, and said, “No, really, Guerin, pants off.”

Michael smirked humorlessly. “That’s funny.”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself, cowboy, I’m a surgeon, remember? You have any idea how many dicks I’ve seen? You’re not special. Now, pants off.”

Alex took Michael’s arm in both hands. “You think there’s something wrong?”

“I have a theory,” he conceded. “Isobel actually gave me the idea.”

“How are the wedding plans going, by the way?” Michael asked.

“Fine, and stop stalling,” Kyle said, unable to help but smile at the mention of the impending party.

Alex squeezed Michael’s arm, and just for his sake—just for Alex—Michael swallowed his pride and undid his belt buckle.

“Your bedside manner sucks, by the way,” he said, staring adamantly at the ceiling.

“I’m nice to my human patients,” he said mildly, lowering himself to examine Michael’s body, pressing two fingers to his abdomen, then his hip, as if looking for something. Michael wouldn’t have been so uncomfortable if his cock hadn’t sprung up against his belly, rock hard and glistening already. “You usually this hot?”

“Yes,” Alex said grimly, then with half a smile, murmured, “and his body temperature’s always been high.”

Michael’s smile and self-satisfaction prevailed despite his annoyance with Kyle, and Kyle shut his eyes. “I really did walk right into that one, didn’t I?” He straightened. “Okay, pants up, Guerin, I think I know the problem.” He waited for Alex and Michael to give him his full attention, and said, without the slightest shred of humor, “He’s in heat.”

They stared at him a moment, then Alex’s shoulders fell. “Come on, Kyle, seriously.”

“I am being serious, Manes,” he said, like he couldn’t believe this was actually his life. “Look, Isobel said she was starting to feel the same way since we got engaged. Don’t forget, Michael’s the first alien we know of to get married, and that changes a person. In your case, that means literal change. Your hormones are all over the place right now, the blood results we had Liz take prove that, and look at you! He’s standing two feet away from you, and you’re . . . like this!”

Michael sat up. “This is stupid, I’m not some animal, I can’t be in heat!”

“Uh—Michael?”

Michael looked to Alex to find his hand had instinctively made its way up the back of his shirt. He started to pull away, blushing, but Alex gripped his wrist, keeping Michael’s hand against his lower back. He must’ve known how much Michael needed his touch right now.

Ever the soldier, Alex faced Kyle and said, “How long will it last? Will he be okay?”

“He’ll be fine,” Kyle dismissed. “This is just an overwhelmed thing, and nothing overwhelms Guerin like marriage.”

“In the best way, I promise,” Michael mumbled against Alex’s naked hip. Then Alex put a hand in his hair and he shut his eyes, groaning under his breath. He felt like he was about to jump out of his skin.

“As for how long it’ll last,” Kyle said, pinching the bridge of his nose as if he really didn’t want to say this next part. “That depends on . . . how often you guys . . .” he waved his hand around. “You know.”

“Seriously?” Alex blinked.

“First smart thing you’ve said all day,” Michael grinned, pressing a kiss to Alex’s hipbone.

“I’m not getting into the medical terms with you guys right now,” Kyle huffed, “but basically, you gotta wear him out. Only way to kick it out of his system.”

“I really don’t think you understand how Michael’s lust works,” Alex said matter-of-factly. And he was right. Sex with Alex didn’t slow Michael down, it drove him crazier.

“Yeah, whatever,” Kyle shut his eyes, making his way to the door. “In this case, it should wear him out. That’s it, I’m not talking about this anymore, I really don’t need to know this much about my best friend’s sex life. I gave you my diagnosis, now leave my hospital!”

He left them alone, and Michael thoughtlessly reached further up Alex’s shirt until he could feel his hairy chest. “That feels good. You have any idea how good you feel?”

Alex put his hands in Michael’s hair, holding him against him. He looked stunned. “Wow, you really are in heat, aren’t you? This is like all my wildest werewolf fantasies come to life.”

Michael chuckled low and pressed another kiss to Alex’s hip, pulling him in closer to kiss the trail of hair down his bellybutton.

“Get onto this bed and I can make those fantasies real right now.”

“Are you out of your mind?” Alex whispered, checking the door. “We’re in a hospital!”

“So?” Michael hooked his fingers under Alex’s belt, reveling at the feel of Alex’s wiry hair against his skin. “You heard the doctor.”

“Since when do you listen to Kyle?”

“Since he prescribed sex as a cure,” Michael grinned. “Come on, hubby,” he murmured, undoing Alex’s belt. “Don’t you want me to get better?”

“S-Stop enjoying this,” Alex said, breathless, and Michael was going to lose his mind with how much he loved him.

“No,” he smiled, and pulled Alex in, undoing Alex’s zipper and kissing the spot he’d just unraveled. “Now get on this damn bed and ride me.”

Alex twisted his wrists away half-heartedly. “I-In the truck.”

“Here.”

“Bathroom!”

“Get on top of me!”

“Guerin, I am not going to have sex with you on a hospital bed!”

***

Happy Malex Monday 🌻 This one was so much fun to do.

#alex manes #michael guerin #malex #malex fic #roswell new mexico #roswell nm #tyler blackburn #michael vlamis

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royallyprincesslilly · 1 year

Text

Sneak Peek of your next treat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Another Lewis denial?"

"You know it!”

You rolled your eyes. When these two decided to gang up on you, you didn't stand a chance. Rolling off the bed, you scurried into the ensuite to grab the rest of your beauty items to pack. Though you knew where each item was, you took your sweet time, not wanting to hurry back into the bedroom for your friends to continue the current conversation.

The vibration of your phone tucked into your front tie top buzzed against your breast. You knew it wasn’t a good thing to keep your phone against your breast, but it was usually always the most convenient place for you.

MSG Lewis: Wheels up at 8 no if, ands, or buts, I’m not even playing, kitten.

You rolled your eyes then tapped out a reply. Before you sent yours another text from him came in.

MSG Lewis: I’m not afraid to leave your ass behind.

“Ha,” you said to yourself.

Opting for a voice reply, you went off.

“Listen you may be a fucking eight-time championship holder and feeling yourself hard over this newly long awaited and much deserved title but don’t get it twisted. I am the life of this party, have always been the life of this party, and will always be the life of this party. Just sit there looking pretty and expect me when you see me.”

You made sure all your sass and attitude dripped from every single word, then hit send with a smile on your face as you waited for his no doubt equally sass filled response. Sure enough about half a minute later you got his reply, a voice one.

“Put some respect on my name and run me my respect. I am an eight-time title holder, and I don’t take anyone’s shit no matter how beautiful they are. Get your fine ass here on time or else, kitten.”

You heard the words he emphasized and the way his voice oozed of authority and control and your belly clenched. Your head went back to the rumors of his dom kink, and you slumped against the bathroom sink with a sigh. It was just another bit of evidence you had to lock away in the untouchable, unspeakable box of things pretraining to Lewis. The man himself was in this box and definitely classified under untouchable. You listened to the message again and clung to him calling you beautiful and pointing out your fine ass. You sighed again knowing that he would see you taking this long to reply as his victory. The man was competitive in everything.

“Or else what? You know damn well that I’ve got you wrapped around my pinky finger. You ain’t goin nowhere without me and that’s that on that!”

You giggled as you send the voice reply. When you turned there stood Gisella and Nikki both with snarky “I told you so, you’re caught” looks on their faces.

“Oh the foreplay is very telling,” Nikki said.

You rolled your eyes, grabbing your things and walking back into the bedroom.

“Ugh, whatever. He says he’ll leave us if we’re not on time. So let’s try not to get left ladies.”

You disappeared across the way into your closet determined to finish up everything you still had to do. Thirty minutes you were both in the SUV that had been sent for you with your bags loaded in the back finally on your way to the airfield.

On the drive you replied to the last emails from your agent and editor ensuring they knew you weren’t going to be too attached to your emails. Their reminders to have the rest of the chapters for your book completed by the time your returned from this trip made you roll your eyes to the back of your head.

They’d been hounding you for these chapters for three months now. Three months of daily “friendly” email remainders, three months of weekly drop ins to check on” your wellbeing, and monthly sit down meetings that stretched for hours for mapping and plans all centered around this second book that apparently everyone was anticipating. Maybe the anticipation was the reason why you were so reluctant to write it. maybe your stroke of luck with the pen had fizzled, maybe you just weren’t into the idea anymore.

Those were the reasons you gave them when they asked what was taking so long. Those were the PC reasons. You couldn’t very well tell them that your well of inspiration for sex, smut and sultry human connections had dried and caved into the center of the Earth. You couldn’t tell them that you were dry in more ways than one. So instead of exposing yourself in that unfavorable way, you tapped out a very professional response.

Consider it done.

#a long time coming duo 1 #a long time coming one shot #lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton #sneak peek

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ainyan · 1 year

Text

Excerpt - Drowning (WIP)

When the knock sounded at the door, Ardbert broke off mid-sentence, lifting his head to peer over Kal’istae’s. “Oh,” he said. “I remember him from Ravana, and from when we - when I…” He trailed off. “He does enjoy interrupting, doesn’t he?”

It wasn’t hard for her to infer of whom he was speaking. “He’s rather fond of making an entrance,” she agreed as she rose.

The ghost grunted. “I’ll leave you to it, then.” He paused briefly. “You’re lucky, you know. To have such devoted friends.”

(Slightly NSFW under the cut. Just a smidge.)

Turning towards him as she placed her hand on the door’s handle, she smiled sadly at him. “I know. And so do you,” she murmured. He closed his eyes, then faded away without a word, and she turned back, opening the door even as the knocking started again. “Good evening, Thancred.”

On the other side of the door, the silver-haired hyur gazed down at her. “Good evening, Kal’istae. Have you some time to spare for an old friend?”

Stepping back, she gestured for him to enter. “I always have time for an old friend. And I always will make time for you.”

He stepped past her, glancing around the room. “I see the Exarch ensured you got one of the nicer rooms,” he murmured, smirking slightly. “I’m not surprised. He seems rather… fond of you.”

Her eyes narrowed as she watched him walk around, studying the furnishings. “What?” she asked sweetly, taking perverse pleasure in needling him slightly. “Jealous?”

She’d expected him to laugh it off, but he paused mid-step, then turned to look at her across the distance between them. “Should I be?”

The unexpected question made her stumble. “I don’t think so,” she said in confusion. “I mean - I barely know the man, and he’s altogether too secretive for my liking. Anyway, why would you be jealous?”

He strode forward swiftly and she was unprepared to find herself swept up and pinned against the wall, gazing up into a pair of intense citrine eyes. “Why wouldn’t I be jealous, Kali?” She swallowed, her eyes wide as she gazed up at him. “I’ve spent five years having no idea how long it had been for you. He said time moved differently, but he couldn’t tell me how long. When Y’shtola and Urianger came two years after I did, they said it had only been a day. But when Alphinaud appeared two years after that, it had been three weeks on the Source, and later Alisaie said it had been another week, but she was barely a day behind her brother for us. And you came a year after them,” he whispered.

“Thancred,” she murmured, stunned.

His hands were impatient on her hips and she finally gained enough control over her body to swing her legs up and over them, locking them loosely about his waist. Once she was settled, he adjusted his grip and leaned down until he could rest his forehead on hers. “How was I to know how long?” he repeated. “How was I to know if you’d given up on me coming back.”

“Never!” The word burst out fiercely and her arms wrapped tightly around his neck as she clung to him. “I would never give up,” she rasped into his throat as he stared at the wall, stunned. “A day, a week, a year, a thousand years, I would have spent each and every hour looking for a way to cure you. To bring you back to me,” she whispered.

His arms wrapped around her, one hand fisting in her hair as he held her tightly in his embrace. “I missed you.” His voice broke on the last word and he buried his face in her hair.

“Oh gods,” she murmured, “I missed you too. Thancred,” she whimpered, and he felt her barriers break down, shattering all at once in a torrent of sobs. He bit back his own response and gathered her into his arms, then swung around and carried her across the room to the bed.

As she continued to weep, he lay down upon the bed and curled around her, holding her tightly as she cried with abandon, all of the pain and fear and loss she’d kept bottled up since the moment of his collapse pouring forth.

And as her tears faded, as she went limp in his arms, crying herself into an exhausted sleep, he left her long enough to strip off the heavy fending jacket and his boots, then crawled back into bed with her. She immediately turned into his embrace and he let the warmth of her presence and the scent of wild roses and rich, fresh churned earth lull him to sleep with her.

~*~

She awoke to warmth and a heavy weight she’d not felt for far too long. Coming to all at once, she shoved herself up, then whirled, meeting Thancred’s sleepy citrine eyes as he pulled himself out of his slumber. “What is it?” he asked, knuckling his eyes. “Is something wrong - oof!”

She flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around him and covering his mouth with hers. He grunted in shock, but before she could pull away he’d caught her up and rolled, bearing her into the mattress. His mouth was as hungry as hers, his kisses and caresses almost desperate as he ran his hands over her body, impatiently shoving clothing aside to get at the soft skin beneath. “Here,” she gasped. “Let me-”

He solved the problem by hooking his fingers inside the button-down shirt she’d changed into for sleeping and yanking. Buttons popped, spitting everywhere, and she gave an indignant squeak. “I’ll give you another,” he growled, and she quieted, staring at him with wide eyes. “Five years, Kali.”

Oh gods.

He saw the words in her eyes and smiled. It was a feral curve of lips, a flash of white teeth as his hands closed over her breasts, gripping almost painfully before he could control himself. Closing his eyes, he took several deep breaths. “Don’t,” he murmured as she reached for him. “I need - you can’t. I’m sorry,” he whispered. “But what I’m feeling; just let me…”

It was disjointed, his voice hoarse and hungry, but she understood. Affection softened the shock and she smiled up at him, stretching her arms above her head as she nestled against the mattress. “Take me,” she invited, and his eyes flashed up to hers. “Take all of me, my Thancred.”

How could he resist? He tried to take his time, tried to be gentle, to be generous - but the hunger inside him would not be denied. The third time he pulled back, trembling, Kal’istae reached for him. He growled, but she would not be denied. “Enough!” she demanded, spreading her thighs wide and arching her hips towards him. “Please!”

She knew exactly what to say. Exactly what to do. With a cry of relief, he released his control and yanked down his pants just far enough to bare himself, then thrust into her with all the finesse of a rutting stag. She cried out in triumph, her hips jackknifing up to meet his, and as he thrust into her with animalistic passion, she met him with equal drive.

The wet sound of damp, smacking flesh filled the air, competing with the soft growls and groans that escaped their throats. When he finally let himself go, thrusting in hard enough to bury himself completely, she locked her legs around him with a yell and came with him, her hoarse cries bouncing from the walls.

~*~

“I’m sorry.”

“Well, I’m not.”

Thancred dragged himself out of the haze that had enveloped his brain, blinking at the lazily smiling Au Ra beside him. “I just ravished you, with no finesse, no style…”

She laughed, a deep, throaty sound, and rolled over to curl against him. “I know, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.” She inhaled, drawing in deep of the scent of oil and leather and steel - and a new odor, a sharp, acrid tang that her mind identified as gunpowder. “Don’t worry, darling. When we get our stamina back, you can give me a proper greeting.”

#ffxiv fanfiction #wip #kal'istae miurani #thancred waters #wolcred #wol x thancred waters #shadowbringers spoilers #post-heavensward au

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jimblejamblewritings · 2 years

Text

changes hurt | part 1.

Summary: (Y/N) has always been one of the stronger Alphas. Which is saying something when the Avengers is a team overrun with Alphas. A mission gone wrong changes her entire world and when everyone starts treating her different, she doesn’t know if she can cope. Change hurts and (Y/N)’s not sure it’s a pain she cant bear.

Warnings for the Series: strong language, angst, fluff, assault, a/b/o dynamics, sexual content (not sure if there will be smut or just talks, leaning more to just talks but since I don’t know, let’s just say 18+ readers only)

Pairing: Steve x black!reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Notes: Hello, we are surprisingly back. I’ve never done a/b/o before but something about this premise seems really fun. You have to thank @the-mighty-jellybean for the idea!! I’ve reblogged their fic Fallen From Grace already but you must seriously read it because it’s so good and inspired this one!

(Series Masterlist)

“Tony, stand down!”

Your voice rose past its normal speaking tone, verging on the authoritative Alpha command. The young Beta, Peter, clung to the back of your shirt after you yelled.

“(Y/N), he—”

“No, Tony! You brought the kid in to fight on your side at the airport. You don’t get to turn your back on him now. He just wants to help.”

“Peter is in over his head.”

“You should have thought of that. The Beta is yours so step up like an Alpha.”

You and him were engaged in a stare-off, both slightly growling and neither moving. Tony relented first like you knew he would. At the end of the day, he had respect for you. One of the few female Alphas that chose to fight and work in SHIELD. Most female Alphas took the chance to live the most lavish and relaxed lifestyles they could, their nature affording them that luxury. Especially since the patriarchy throughout history had tried to deny them their Alpha nature because the past saw more female Omegas and Betas until more modern times.

But not you, Nat, or Sharon. It was that respect for choosing the hard, macho life that made Tony and Steve eventually sit down and work out their differences with the Accords— everyone came back to live in the compound only a few months later. Tony snorted but finally lowered the Iron Man suit to stand on the ground with you and Peter.

“You know having a pack isn’t my style, (Y/N).”

“That’s a lie, what do you call the Avengers?”

“A team with more Alphas than it knows what to do with. None of us are the leader of that pack.”

“Then what about Happy?”

“Happy is my bodygu—”

“A bodyguard you stopped paying three years ago yet he still manages to afford everything and lives with us? You already have one member, take another damn Beta and get it over with.”

“Why don’t you take him?”

“I didn’t recruit him to a dangerous life in the first place. Peter’s on the team, he’s an Avenger, and he’s your responsibility.”

Tony closed his mouth, knowing he would never win the argument, and nodded. Peter’s grip on your shirt relaxed and he finally moved to be beside you instead of behind you. You gave the awkward boy a smile and pat on the head. He just wanted to help and whether Tony liked it or not, Peter was a superhero not some helpless high schooler. You put a hand on Tony’s shoulder.

“And if he threatens to take away your suit again, Peter, just let this Alpha know. I’ll set him straight.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, kid. Now, go drop him off at home Tony so he can finish his homework. And inform Aunt May of a few changes.”

You looked at Peter behind you. “You want her to live in the tower too? You two can take my duplex level, I’ll move into one of the smaller suites.”

Peter shook his head. He rather keep Aunt May as far away from the physical fighting as he could. She might have been an Alpha but after his Uncle Ben had died, she had always been a little off. He just wanted her safe in their little apartment while he took down the bad guys. Diffusing any tension that might have still been there, you gave Tony and Peter hugs before jumping into your car to race back to the tower— Tony finally renamed it from Stark Tower to Avengers Tower after several months of persuading.

The team gagged when you walked in and you gave them a look of confusion. T’Challa and Okoye, both Alphas, just chuckled and patted your shoulder as they left the compound having only come to discuss a mission before heading back to Wakanda. Sam— the Beta with an Alpha mouth— decided to speak up.

“Tony? Really, you hooked up with Tony? Thought that was the only line you wouldn’t cross.”

If it was any other person, Beta or Omega dynamic, that spoke to you or other team members like that they would face death stares. But Sam was Sam. And his words were never a challenge but always jokes and quick jabs— he was never invested in challenging an Alpha to try and become a pseudo one by force.

“Take another sniff geniuses.”

You walked further into the room with your arms purposefully open wide. The team grimaced but did as you said. Everyone could smell the hint of Peter that had been hidden underneath. If Peter was there, it wasn’t possible in any way that you and Tony would be hooking up at the moment.

“You really thought I’d sleep with Tony?”

You propped your feet up on Bucky’s lap. The stoic Alpha pushed your feet off of him as Natasha snarled. Without missing a beat, you propped your feet up on Bruce— the Omega scientist taking a lunch break before going back to the lab— earning a second snarl.

“Relax, Nat, you’re so uptight today. I don’t want your men. Would’ve taken Brucey a while ago if I did.”

You leaned back to lay your head in Bucky’s lap. “But… we can still have a go, Buck.”

You chuckled, not getting a laugh back but instead the sound of Natasha’s fist slamming the table. Steve walked away from where he and Sam were cooking for everyone and tapped Bruce on the shoulder. The scientist sighed in relief as he took the seat closest to Nat and Steve replaced him.

“Stop threatening her,” he said as he put your feet back to rest on his lap.

“Threatening? I’m just messing wi—”

You stopped as the smell finally hit you. You turned your head, earning a third snarl as your face was too close to Bucky’s stomach and crotch for Nat’s comfort. His scent was more musky than usual, and then Nat and Bruce’s smells hit you. They were about to be in their ruts and heat, respectively. You immediately sat up from Bucky’s lap with your hands up in surrender.

“I swear the only stink I could smell was Stark and Peter. I was joking, not a real threat. Buck and Bruce are all yours.”

Everyone relaxed. Nat and Bucky muttered a quiet sorry for assuming you were declaring a real threat to separate them, blaming it on the upcoming ruts having them on edge. Everyone knew you would never take Bruce from them or try to separate Bucky and Nat. But even rational Alphas like them found it hard to take your jokes when ruts were involved. Steve pulled you fully into his lap so Sam could have a seat at the table— some of the chairs were still missing from Tony’s last party, probably on the deck. You gave him a snarl, more playful than anything, to which he just rolled his eyes.

“Can’t just manhandle me like that. I’m not one your little weak Omegas, Captain.”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “Thank God for that. You’d be one goddamn stubborn one.”

“She’d be getting punished every other damn day,” Bucky finally teased and everyone laughed.

The rest of dinner was rather calm. The team actually enjoyed your jokes after it was verbally put out that everything was just a joke, you were just your usual obnoxious Alpha self. It was nice to have Clint home for the weekend, he was usually at the farm with Laura especially since their third child was born. It would have been nice to have Thor as well but Asgard requested him home for something so you only had Clint.

Wanda was enjoying messing with him. When it came to Wanda, and Pietro when he was alive, Clint was such a weak Alpha. They were his adopted kids for all intents and purposes and found themselves in his pack with no difficulty— well one. Vision struggled to accept Wanda being his Omega but also in Clint’s mini pack even if it was purely familial. He almost commanded Wanda to leave the pack but was soon talked to and brought to an understanding.

The elevator doors dinged and instead of being greeted by Tony and potentially Peter, a smell you didn’t like rolled out. It wasn’t hard to miss the lavender, ocean breeze, and cranberry scent of Sharon Carter. Not many people that weren’t officially on the Avengers had access to the residential floors of the tower, but Sharon was one of the few since she was a high level SHIELD agent. Sharon had files in her hand, you assumed for the next mission that was due any minute now. She stopped dead in her tracks, growling viciously at the sight before her. It wasn’t hard to miss that she was in a rut like Nat and Bucky and you were currently sitting on her property.

Steve and Sharon weren’t together, they didn’t make a claim on each other like Bucky and Nat. Steve didn’t feel drawn to other Alphas in a bonding way— only seeing them as there for a good time. And he wasn’t like Nat or Bucky, it wasn’t in his specific nature to hold an Alpha and an Omega. But he hadn’t found an Omega he was willing to bond to by pure choice or felt inclined to bond with on instinct alone. So he slept around to solve his ruts, switching between Alphas, Betas, and Omegas. Usually going to Sharon if he was choosing an Alpha. And she did the same with him. Sharon glared and you had half a mind to wiggle around on Steve’s lap just to mess with her.

As if he could read your mind and knew what you were about to do, Steve gripped your upper arm tightly to stop you. Just like with Tony, the two of you were in a stare-off with gentle snarls at each other. If Sharon wasn’t right there, Sam would have joked that you two should get a room. But no one was joking, only watching the tense scene in front of them. Tony submitted to you, Nat tended to submit to you, Clint and Thor submitted to you. Hell even Bucky and Vision. But not Steve. Ever the Captain, he was the most dominant Alpha on the whole team— not using Alpha command very often and rejecting becoming leader of a pack, instead choosing to just be the best captain he could be of a team. And not once did he lose a stare-off to you.

“Stand down, (Y/N).”

“Make me,” you said with a smirk.

Any other moment, Steve would have laughed or snarled more but with his eyes playful. Not now though because you weren’t toying with him. You might have been staring at him but your words were purely to set off Sharon and right at the moment, during her rut, it wasn’t funny to him. He preferred if the team was a family or at least cordial with each other. Steve’s grip on your arm loosened as he growled, no longer settling on quiet snarls. You relented and jumped off of him with a quickness.

“Do you want me now?” Steve asked Sharon.

The blonde nodded and he stood up to follow her. He took the files from her hand and shoved them towards you, knowing you were as thorough as he was with reading them and informing the team. Steve’s hand found Sharon’s waist. It slowly snaked down to her butt as they walked off.

“We’ll be back later,” he said as they entered the elevator, not really caring if you guys had heard.

The tension settled as the elevator went up to his suite. You sat back down and began to flip through the files, sipping the beer Steve left.

“You’re going to get your ass beat one day,” Clint said with a shake of his head and a smile.

“Sharon could learn to back off of (Y/N) a little,” Wanda said, feeling free to speak without the other Alpha in the room.

“I agree,” Nat sat back in her chair. “She’s had it out for you for no damn reason. Just mad you made the team and not her. I love her but she’s got to get over it, you were the better one.”

“Probably mad about that time Steve helped you out too,” Sam chimed in and you choked on the beer.

“I’m sorry who helped me with what?”

“Steve. Was a while ago, right before Germany, remember?”

You shook your head. The only thing you remember about Germany, aside from the fight, was you, Sam, and Bucky averting your eyes when the two blond Alphas felt the need to have one last go in the parking lot and had their hands down each others’ pants in front of the car.

“Well I remember damn well, she came storming in talking about you could mess with anyone in SHIELD but picked the one teammate no one touched.”

“I’ve never asked Steve to help me with a rut.” You set the beer down and the whole team looked in surprise.

“Really?” Bruce asked. “Right after she stormed in, you came out a few minutes later in his shirt and he wasn’t wearing another one.”

You tried to recollect an inkling of a memory of what they might be talking about. You started to laugh, making the others more confused.

“Our mini mission. My fault, totally missed the drop off and got myself stabbed. Steve was giving me stitches.”

“Oh.”

You took a swig of the beer, finishing it. “I’ve never gone to Steve for help or anyone for that matter.”

“You haven’t?” Sam prodded, knowing he’s heard noises from your room a few times before.

You fished the little pill bottle refill out of your pocket— the reason you had been out and able to respond to Peter’s frantic call about Tony forcing him to quit earlier that day. With a quick toss, you threw them across to Vision who caught it with no problem. He read off the little label stating the dosage and instructions of your suppressants.

“You use those?” Nat asked.

“Unclaimed Alpha, not taking a chance going into a real rut and riling up some Beta or Omega while I’m sleeping with them. Don’t need kids right now.”

“Women?”

“Sometimes just don’t work for me in a rut.”

“Just sleep with an Alpha then,” Bucky suggested. “Not like you can’t feel that one coming and stop it before it’s too late.”

“Two headasses in the bedroom,” you said with a shrug.

Everyone nodded and chuckled in agreement. At least you knew yourself. You were as stubborn as they came when it dealt with dynamics and being an Alpha. You had your fair share of fun with a few of them but never in a rut. Even with suppressants, you were too headstrong to want to deal with another Alpha’s rut in the bedroom.

Vision tossed the pill bottle back to you and you stashed it back in your pocket. Done with talking about your sex life, you picked up the files Steve had given you before he and Sharon left. The team became alert as you did a casual debriefing and began to organize the mission.

“FRIDAY!” You called out while everyone read the papers you handed out.

“Yes, (Y/N)?”

“When Tony gets back, tell him I need a new bo staff before the mission. The other burnt to a crisp.”

“Of course, (Y/N). Mr. Stark has been working on that problem for you.”

It was the fourth bo staff in a month that you had gone through. The collapsible staff was your main weapon because of your powers. You had heating abilities but had not learned to fully master them. The most you could do was heat up yourself, not able to shoot the laser like heat from your body. However it was enough that just like normal heat, whatever you were touching would eventually conduct that heat. To keep yourself at a safer distance rather than hand to hand combat, you used a bo staff and heated up like a makeshift lightsaber— giving enemies third degree burns.

“Thank you, FRIDAY.”

The AI said something but you missed it as the alarm on your phone rang, reminding you there was only one hour left you had to take your suppressant for the day before it was considered a missed day. The team, who had been staring at the new mission notes, looked up at the sound. They all watched you pop open the pill bottle and toss a pill in your mouth. Your face scrunched up in disgust as you bit down on the pill and chewed it until it was dust.

A second alarm rang. Your rut, much to your gratefulness, had a pretty routine schedule. It rarely varied. You stood up, taking Steve’s jacket from the back of the chair. You walked backwards to the elevators, facing the team as you talked and shrugged on the big leather jacket.

“Duty calls, rut’s about to start. If you need me. I’ll be at that one bar downtown and then some little Omega’s bed. Do me a favor… try not to need me till at least two am, mmm no scratch that, four am.”

The doors closed with various snorts and guffaws from your teammates. Your nose upturned now that you were by yourself, the scent of Sharon and Steve overwhelming. You leaned your head down and sniffed the jacket. It smelled too strongly of him— would be hard to get someone at the bar. The doors opened and you entered the lobby, taking off the jacket.

“Roseanne?” you called the Beta receptionist who was almost always working night shifts.

Her head popped up from where it was hunched over the keyboard. You tossed her the jacket. Without missing a beat, she reached down and grabbed a different jacket— black leather instead of brown but the same size and style as the one she was just given. Roseanne threw the jacket to you.

“Captain Rogers is going to wonder where these are eventually,” she said with what you couldn’t determine if it was worriedness for you or nervousness just because.

You laughed and fixed the jacket collar.

“He knows these are my favorite to steal, needs to learn to stop stinking them so much and I’ll stop hiding them from him. Catch you later. Don’t work too hard, you should have fun.”

“Is that a command?”

“Don’t test me, Beta,” you said with a growl.

Roseanne laughed, knowing your threat was of pure jest— you two were friends after all. You gave her one last smile before heading out for the night, ready to catch an Omega to make you feel better.

(Part 2)...

#alpha!steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #avengers fic #marvel fic

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