#don’t even get me started on jacks mommy issues it is actually insane
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so of course the basics of the jack/Azazel parallel is “yellow eyed thing that kills Mary Winchester,” (who saw that coming), but it’s also about the parallels between sam and dean in the early seasons with the Azazel storyline, and them at the end of s14, which the show directly makes with that “we got work to do” trunk shot (and sam even saying in 13x01, “these yellow eyed things just keep coming.”)
early season 1 is about an angry grieving man who lost a woman dear to him because a yellow eyed monster killed her and that angry man wants revenge, no matter what it could cost him or how it could destroy him. in fact, it’s a worthy sacrifice to destroy himself, if it means he can get revenge.
end of season 14 is about an angry grieving man who lost a woman dear to him because a yellow eyed monster killed her and that angry man wants revenge, no matter what it could cost him or how it could destroy him if it means he can get revenge, except this time the yellow eyed monster in question is his son, and he cannot bring himself to kill his son even when he’s so grief-stricken he can only see a yellow eyed monster. this time he has something that’s worth more than revenge, and so he chooses forgiveness.
Azazel, to keep it simple, is a monster. he’s a force of sheer evil and destruction with poisonous blood he uses to infect his soldiers. he destroyed numerous families while creating his army, and he destroyed the Winchester family by killing Mary Winchester, launching john into a spiral of grief and anger and vengeance that only further destroyed them.
Jack has always struggled with the fear that he’s evil and a monster and can only ever cause destruction, particularly towards his chosen family; jack winds up living this fear as a reality when he kills Mary, inadvertently destroys the Winchester family and launches dean into a spiral of grief and anger and vengeance that only further destroys them. he’s also blatantly accused of infecting sam and dean because of who his father is (read: his blood) and of, you guessed it! destroying the family.
the only difference between Jack and Azazel is that jack is family. he’s one of Mary’s boys. he’s just as much her kid as he is TFW’s. he is loved by them and he loves them back. he becomes psychotic with grief over Mary, and the sheer horror of what he did to her—what he did to his family. in s15 he is suicidal with guilt over his Heaven murders, of destroying Mary and destroying his family. he had spent his life trying to be good and safe and prove he wasn’t a monster or villain or bad guy, just for it to happen anyways and to almost become Thee Bad Guy that started it all
@insanesonofabitch :3c
#spn#supernatural#spn parallels#jack kline#azazel spn#spn meta#sort of i guess#sam winchester#dean winchester#dean and jack#mary winchester#spn 14x17#spn 14x19#moriah#castiel#tfw2.0#team free will 2.0#don’t even get me started on jacks mommy issues it is actually insane#he’s a very insane guy when you really look at him (speaking from experience)
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Nsfw alphabet (all of it) for Loki? Also, l love ur star wars ocs 💕
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
He praises you to high heaven after sex. His words come low and soft as he cleans up you telling you, in so many different way, how perfect you are. His silver tongue doesn’t stumble once.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He loves your neck. It’s so easy to tease you with just a simple brush of his lips against that particular part of your skin. An open canvas for him bite and mark as he wishes. And it’s the perfect fit for his hand to squeeze as he fucks you.
As for himself, he likes his hands. He knows you appreciate the length and dexterity of his fingers. Not to mention it’s where most of his true power resides. They are magic hands, after all. ;)
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He leaves such a mess when he cums. He loves cumming all over your skin; stomach, back, face, tits, it doesn’t matter. It’s his way of marking you. He’ll even take his fingers like a brush and paint it all over your body.
Even when he cums inside you, he still manages to leave his mark. He’ll spread you open, watching in fascination as a mix of your cum and his own drip down your inner thigh. He likes to take his fingers then, and spread is down your skin before licking it with his tongue. He’s a complete slut when it comes to cum.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He doesn’t have many to be honest. He’s very open about what he wants with you. After a thousands years or so, you learn that there’s no shame in sharing with someone you trust.
But, there have been a few instances he’s has to keep himself from moaning “mommy”. He’s not sure where it came from and that’s one kink he’s does not want to explore.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Thor might be more bombastic, but Loki has perfected the art of whispering into an ear and making the hearer weak at the knees. So yes, he’s been around the block a few times with a variety of partners.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
It really depends on his mood.
If he’s in a dominating mood then he loves taking you from behind, your back pressed against his chest and his hand clasped around your throat.
If he wants to be dominated, then please tie his wrists to the bedpost and ride his face. He wants your cum.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He runs the gambit from emotional and intense to a sexy, but fun romp in the hay. There are moments he can’t help, but make a joke or a smug comment at your expense. It keeps things unpredictable.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He actually keeps up a pretty close shaved down there. Not that there was much there in the first place. Perhaps the first hint he wasn’t Asgardian.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
As I said before, he runs a wide range of emotions when you’re fucking.
But, when he is in the mood or his emotions become too overwhelming, he can be extremely intimate. Sometimes it’s praises as he makes love to you, wondering how he could be so lucky. Other times it’s desperate and pleading, clinging to your body and begging you not to leave.
And then there are days he just wants to have a bit of fun.
You’re never too sure what you’re going to get on an given day.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Not as often as you’d think. If he’s in the mood, he prides himself on being able to find a partner to satisfy him. Using his own hand feels childish and a little embarrassing. So, he won’t do it unless he’s really desperate.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
God, it would be easy to lists the stuff he isn’t into.
First and foremost, he’s 110% a switch. Yes he’s got mad Big Dick Daddy Dom energy when he wants to and there are a number of fantasies he has that involve tying you up and using you as his personal fuck toy.
But if you’re telling me this same disaster theater nerd twink doesn’t also allow his partners to peg him on the reg, then you are dead wrong.
That all being said, I’d also like to add exhibitionism to the list. There are times you swear he wants to get caught when he fucks you against the bookshelves in the library, or in the gardens or even against the one of the pillars in the palace. If it weren’t for his illusions, you might have.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
The most common place is your bedroom. That’s where you can pull out all the stops and really take your time.
But as I said above, he does take a certain thrill out of almost being caught. If he were being honest, he’s say the library was near the top of his favorite places to fuck.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Assertiveness is certainly top of the list. Knowing that you want him and no one else, combined with your confidence can lead him pleading at your feet.
Jealousy is also a motivator. If he sees another man trying to move in on you, that’s his cue to pull you into the nearest empty room and fuck you senseless. Alternatively, if he sees you getting jealous of someone hitting on him, then he’ll pull you aside and show you in every way he can that he is yours.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Infanalization, or really any age play where either of you is expected to act like a child. It’s insulting to him for one thing, since he can take some sexual humiliation, but he draws the line at not being at least considered a man.
As for you, he wants to be with an adult plain and simple. He finds it tedious and insipid otherwise.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Again, split right down the middle. There are nights that all he wants to do is tie your wrists to the bed posts as he buries himself between your legs, making you cum and cum again on his tongue until you can’t move.
Other times, he wants to pull your hair and fuck your face, making you take every inch of him before cumming down your throat.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Leans more towards the fast and rough, averaging at about 65% of the time. But for the other 35%, he takes his sweet time.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Yes and please. Preferably during a ball or some other formal event where he fucks you in an empty corridor before eventually rejoining the party like nothing happened.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
All the time. He’ll trying anything once.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He’s usually good for one to three rounds. But those rounds can last anywhere from 15 minutes a piece or a full hour depending on why you’re doing. So, stamina is never an issue.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
A whole trunk full. Like I said, he’ll try anything once.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
All the god damn time. If a party is particularly dull, he’ll spend the whole night teasing you. It’s a game to see how fast he can make you break.
There have been times he’s teased you right to the edge only to leave you tied to the bed and aching for hours before finishing the job.
And don’t even get me started on him trying to make you jealous of purpose. He’s such a drama queen.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He can be quiet if he really needs to be. If you’re having sex in a semi-public space he at least has the sense to keep it to himself; grunting and whispering dirty words against your skin.
When you’re in private however, all bets are off. He runs his mouth, he moans, he growls, and he curses like it’s going out of style.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He can talk a big game with one night stands, but his favorite kind of sex is with a consistent partner. He wants to be desired, but more than that, he wants to be chosen and chosen consistently. Having one person there every day choosing to be with him is everything.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Not an overly thick or heavy cock, but certainly longer than average and it’s width proportional to his size. A nice, pretty seven inch dick.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
It’s strange, but when it’s just him and one night stands, his sex drive isn’t insane. He’s not going to get a head ache if he doesn’t have sex and dry spells don’t bother him as much.
But when he’s actually in a relationship, his sex drive is off the charts. I think he ultimately like the idea of someone wanting and choosing him consistently. It’s one of his biggest turn ons. So, you guys are having sex at least every other night.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
It takes him a while to doze off. He likes to make sure you comfortable and clean. He’ll massage your muscles if you need it and talk the night away. He doesn’t want to miss a moment if he can help it.
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Part I
Louis meets Harold at the elevators of SLWW and informs him that they’re going to tank the deal “because Harvey doesn’t want it anymore.”
Harold, who’s apparently been building up his backbone since his departure from Pearson Hardman (s02e12), asks Louis if he’s Harvey’s “partner or his lackey,” and Louis shuts him down by completely butchering Harvey’s “146 other things” quote from “Errors and Omissions” (s01e02). (To wit: “So you sign this cancellation, you get it back to us by tomorrow, or I will take that gun from your bluff, or I will call your hand, or I will take 146 other guns, and I will fire them at your face.”) The whole thing is actually pretty sad; Rick is giving it his all, but for my money, this comedic B-plot isn’t quite as comedic as they’d like it to be. Anyway then Donna shows Alex a folder with a picture in it and says she needs a perfect forgery of the piece in 24 hours, which he agrees to acquire for her in exchange for two, count ‘em two favors. Depending on what the piece is that she needs forged, I have to wonder if that’s even physically possible, but, well. Suits logic.
Harold then proceeds to blow the lid off of Louis’s scheme by calling Harvey on his private cell number, which he got from somewhere, and demanding that he return to his office so they can “settle this.” Harvey instructs Harold to tell him everything Louis said to him and then delightedly informs Samantha that Louis “is 100% running around town pretending to be [him],” which “might be one of the funniest things [he’s] ever heard.” Samantha replies that “Louis is jealous of [him], in love with [him], and intimidated by [him] all at the same time”; also, surprise, she was intimidated by him when they first met on account of the fact that he’s a legend, and I’m starting to think this entire episode is just a 44-minute long excuse for Korsh to stroke his own ego.
Now, Harvey might think Louis pretending to be him is hilarious, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to take advantage of the opportunity to “have some fun.” I.e., Samantha calls Louis posing as Harold’s secretary and tricks him into thinking Harold is on the way over, which absolutely terrifies him for reasons that aren’t completely clear to me because Harold already knows Louis is involved and is already under the impression that Harvey doesn’t want to see him, so why wouldn’t Louis just say that Harvey’s out of the office? He doesn’t even have to say where he is, just “not here.” Anyway, Harvey and Samantha laugh uproariously at Louis’s panic until Harvey takes over to inform him that he knows what’s going on and Louis should come clean about whatever he’s done. Samantha seems to feel a little bad, maybe, but Harvey argues that “if you can’t do something to cause Louis to have a stroke once in awhile, what’s the purpose of living?” I know Louis is supposed to be this episode’s comic foil, but that’s…mean. Are he and Harvey friends or aren’t they? I’m starting to worry about Louis, this relationship seems pretty one-sided. Also a little abusive.
Oh, then Harvey wants to take the scenic route to the next exit, Samantha would really rather not, and Harvey talks her into it with the promise that “it’ll be fun.” I wonder how hard this is going to blow up in their faces. Not at all, probably. Also Alex asks Katrina for help with Donna’s forgery thing because Katrina has “clients in fashion and friends in ballet,” so he figures she has connections in the art world, which she does, and she was only being cagey about it because she “just didn’t want to be pigeon-holed.” But she doesn’t know who Gandalf is, which Alex should have known because he knows she’s “not a sports fan.” Alrighty then.
For some reason now we get a flashback to Samantha and Adam getting pulled over mid-escape because of the broken tail light, I guess to parallel Samantha and Harvey in the present day having to pull over because they hit “some kind of hole.” (A pothole, perhaps? I don’t know what makes me think Harvey would know a word like that, being a member of an exclusive car club and also presumably having passed Driver’s Ed at some point in his life.) There is, unfortunately, no jack in the trunk, and Samantha is furious, but never fear; Harvey is texting Triple-A, and they’ll be on the scene in an hour.
Except that you can’t text Triple-A to request assistance. They have a Roadside Assistance app, and obviously you can call them, but their texting service only sends members alerts for roadside events already in progress. So why bother pretending this is a real thing? Well, it’s not hard to guess that the text isn’t going to go through, and I bet Harvey is going to conveniently happen not to notice, thereby stranding him and Samantha on this secluded road for several more hours of forced bonding time until he conveniently does notice, but on a more fundamental and much pettier level, it’s yet another sign that Korsh is a very, very lazy writer. This episode is full of examples of the same trope; isn’t it convenient that Harvey rented not only a Mustang from the club, but the very model Mustang that Samantha has tumultuous emotional history with? Isn’t it convenient that Ron and Eric Kaldor owned the very same Mustang, so Samantha could be doubly traumatized? Isn’t it convenient that Ted Tucker, a man who desperately wants to meet Harvey Specter but conveniently has no idea what he looks like, happens to be the one to call right when Louis is making himself at home in Harvey’s office? Isn’t it convenient that Harold Gunderson is Reed Communications’ in-house counsel? Isn’t it convenient that he managed to acquire Harvey’s private cell phone number from somewhere? This is just all kinds of annoying to me, both as a writer with a much, much smaller platform that Korsh’s, and as a person who does her fucking research, despite having a much, much smaller platform than Korsh does.
Moving on. Harold calls Louis out on imitating Harvey, but after Louis’s sob story about just wanting to “get out of [his] own life and enjoy [himself] for one day,” he agrees to go along with the charade for one more meeting so long as Louis owes him one. Then we get another flashback to Samantha and Kaldor being all…flirty, I guess, as Kaldor drops the bomb that he wants to leave his wife for her— Wait, wait, Kaldor is married? And he has kids? Geez, I guess Samantha and Harvey aren’t as alike as they keep insisting they are. Anyway Samantha says their relationship has always just been a fling for her and she decided right this second that the whole thing was a big mistake, so uh, better late than never on that one. Kaldor accuses her of having daddy issues, conveniently balancing out Harvey’s mommy issues, and she kicks him out of the house that I think he was the one who was renting? Which is the conclusion of that storyline, and I gotta say, I didn’t really get much out of it. Obviously the point was to emphasize Samantha’s forlorn search for a surrogate father figure, but there’s been ample opportunity for the past season and a half to paint that picture via her relationship with Robert and they haven’t really run with it, so shoehorning it in now on top of her abrupt decision to find her birth father feels, at best…really convenient.
Actually, hang on, that whole mess might have another purpose: Samantha confesses her affair to Harvey and says she has “a terrible history with men,” which Harvey instantly diagnoses as a product of her childhood and oh my god these people really need to stop playing Armchair Psychologist for each other.
Brace yourself, because they’re just getting started:
“Deep down, for years, I knew I wanted to be with Donna. Just couldn’t access it.”
“Why not?”
“Because of the shit that comes from having a fucked-up childhood.”
“What happened to you?”
“My mom cheated on my dad for most of my life. I knew it, and I kept it a secret from him.”
“Jesus, that might be worse than having no parents at all.”
Alright, look. You cannot spend the better part of eight seasons of a show having two characters clearly express, out loud, with their words, that they do not want to be a couple—not only that, but that they tried being a couple and made the conscious and mutual determination that they’re better as friends—only to throw them together at the eleventh hour and try to convince your audience that they’re a perfect match not by dealing with all that established backstory, but by pretending it never happened in the first place. For one thing, Harvey’s fucked up childhood didn’t prevent him from pursuing relationships with women; he actively courted Zoe and Paula (the latter of which being a mistake for a wide variety of unrelated reasons) and he broke things off with Scottie as soon as she got into a serious relationship with someone else. In fact, prior to Donna, Harvey very strictly avoided ever imitating his mother’s adultery, and no matter how much he allegedly wanted to be with Donna, I’m not so sure “You’re the first woman I’ve committed an act of infidelity with” is exactly the sort of romantic, soulmate-level declaration he seems to think it is.
Also didn’t Harvey telling people about what happened in his childhood used to be a really big deal? Wasn’t it a deeply touching and profoundly emotional moment when he confessed it to Mike in “High Noon” (s02e10)? So is Samantha suddenly being elevated to Mike-level status in Harvey’s eyes, or is he just totally cool now with airing all his dirty laundry to whoever because he and his mom have decided to try and play nice? No, don’t tell me, I’m not sure which one I dislike more.
I will take a small amount of solace in the fact that I was right about Harvey conveniently noticing that his text to Triple-A didn’t go through right after his and Samantha’s several hours of convenient bonding time.
Minor interlude: That favor Harold solicited from Louis? He wants to come back to the firm. Sure why not, that’s only like the eleventh most insane thing to happen in this episode, so who cares.
Anyway, Harvey walks about fifty yards up the road to find a strong enough signal to call Triple-A, conveniently gets a call from Donna at the exact moment that his service returns, and…forgets to call Triple-A. Yeah, alright, whatever. Samantha vents some more and admits that she’s afraid to meet the man who gave her up, which Harvey counters with the claim that she owes it to herself to meet him on the grounds that Harvey made up with his mother (not that she ever apologized or took responsibility for her actions or anything) and they’re both better off for it. Sorry, Judy, I guess we’re back on that “biological family is the only one that matters” kick, but better luck next time.
Samantha knocks on her father’s door, informs him that she’s his daughter, and after a quick flashback illustrating Samantha and Judy’s first meeting wherein Judy tells Samantha she doesn’t work for Protective Services (actually, as a licensed foster parent, she kind of does) and asks her to take a chance and trust her, present day Samantha books it back to the car (that was quick) to inform Harvey that she was the result of a fling and her father had no idea she existed, but that “he wishes he would’ve known.” Also her mother died when she was two, so it turns out no one gave her up after all. So that’s sweet. And anticlimactic. Except that now she has all this anger and nowhere to put it, but luckily for her, Amateur Psychologist Harvey Specter is on hand to advise her to “just let it go,” because that’s gone super well for him so far and it’s not like it took thirty years or anything.
Louis fesses up to Tucker about his identity fraud but convinces him to sign with them anyway, discerning in the process that “it’s great being Harvey, but [he’d] rather be [him].” How very after-school-special. Then Harvey gets home and Donna finally gets to reveal this big art protect of hers, and I mean we all know what it is, right? Family ties, parent-child reconciliation, repeated references to Harvey’s relationship with his mother? It’s that piece of shit duck painting that served as the “one happy memory [Harvey] had of [his] mother” prior to their reconciliation and that Elliot Stemple stole in “Accounts Payable” (s06e02) because he figured Harvey would only keep something so ugly if he had an emotional attachment to it. Well, Harvey is so grateful that he tells Donna she’s perfect, and as I do my best to suppress my gag reflex, she informs him that she’s actually “better than perfect” because the forgery she commissioned is now hanging in Stemple’s office after she “Thomas Crown Affair-ed that shit” and made the swap. Overcome by emotion, Harvey calls his mother to apologize for taking so long to forgive her (for the thing she never apologized for or acknowledged as a wrongdoing on her part), they exchange tearful “I love you”s, and end the conversation by “just [sitting] together for awhile.” No, seriously, they’re sitting in their respective houses holding their phones to their ears and not saying anything. It’s deeply weird.
Next week, Harvey gets arrested! Maybe. Probably. They might be fucking with us, but here’s hoping.
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