#do i even need to say who this is on this blog
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Hell N Back ft. op81
Pairing: oscar piastri x fem!black reader
Genre: Social Media AU with story
Summary: In which the reader was finally done with love until Oscar came into her life and charmed (all he had to do was exist) her into giving love another chance.
Warning(s): None.
A/N: Recently been thinking about f1 so I decided why not write??Title inspired by "Hell N Back Bakar ft. Summer Walker" because I've been obsessed with it lately!! No specific fan cast, just photos off of Pinterest.
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The First Meeting
2 years ago
Y/n was walking down a street flooded by shops all around her with her best friend, A'lidyah. The two women were in deep conversation about love. Y/n was almost sure she would never comfortably be in love again and A'lidyah was telling her that love comes to you when you least expect it.
"You shouldn't fully mark it off because of a few mishaps. And love comes in so many different forms and can be found in so many different aspects of life." A'lidyah explained while moving her hands to emphasize her point.
"You know what, you're right. I love seeing the smiles of the people who walk the streets, I love skipping through town hand in hand, and I love music. I'm so grateful to have you in my life, like seriously." Y/n said smiling at her friend sincerely. A'lidyah returned the smile saying something along the lines of "life would be so dull without you, i thank God for you everyday." The conversation then resumed, the two girls having smiles seemingly permanently edged on to their faces.
While Y/n was speaking she momentarily shifted her eyes to glance at something on the side of the street that A'lidyah stood on and in that quick second she had walked into someone. He managed to catch her by her waist before she had fallen and she immediately began apologizing before looking up at the man.
As Y/n shifted to meet the gaze of her saving grace, she found she was met with a face that displayed the thoughts crossing her mind at the moment. Wide eyes and mouth agape, the man must've been experiencing the shock that circled her mind at the moment. She only broke through this trance at the sound of a witch like cackling that could come from no one other than A'lidyah. Y/n raised her eyebrow and side eyed her best friend with a smile on her face before turning her attention back on to the man who stood in front of her.
They exchanged eye contact one last time before his hold on her waist loosened and Y/n stepped back and bent down to pick up the things that fell on the floor. Oscar soon joined her and then apologized for almost knocking her over.
"Ah, no worries it was mostly my fault and I was able to be saved by a handsome man so I'd say we're pretty even?" Y/n responded cheekily.
"A handsome man? And then you a beautiful woman? Almost seems like a match made in heaven, wouldn't cha say?" The man said while his face was very clearly flushed and he looked like he had to muster up all his confidence and self-control to not stutter. His pupils then went off to the side catching another woman in his line of sight. Seeing that the man had directed his attention to her A'lidyah began to speak.
"That's actually perfect, Y/n needs someone other than me to add a little bit of pizazz and all that fun stuff to her life, mind giving her a name?" A'lidyah says holding back a teasing smile. "Oh that's my bad. The names Oscar, Oscar Piastri. It's nice to meet you Y/n and..."
"Oh I'm A'lidyah! Her wife, her wingman, her manager, and most importantly her best friend. Oscar meet Y/n, Y/n meet Oscar!" The girl says enthusiastically. The two laugh but greet each other anyway.
They exchanged numbers and that day when Y/n went home she found the idea of love just a bit more appealing and Oscar... well let's just say his google history was flooded with many "Do I Have a Crush?" quizzes, a lot more "How to Know if Your in Love" blogs, and one slightly embarrassing question that his friends would definitely tease him about, not that they wouldn't tease him about what he had already been searching up anyway.
Y/n is now following Oscar Piastri
Oscar Piastri is now following Y/n
♫ Could you tell where my head was at when you found me? Me and you went to hell and back just to find peace ♫
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Current Time
yourusername
liked by oscarpiastri, whosalidyah, mclaren and 276,943 others
yourusername last photo is from me and lidyah's latest gossip session
view all 7,983 comments
whosalidyah not your boy in the likes...🤭
yourusername guys what is this crazy woman talking about?? username girl... you are NOT slick
username not alidyah exposing her😭
carlossainz55 can't wait to meet you at our next race!
liked by creator
username anyone noticed that both oscar and mclaren liked??
username that's suspicious🤨
username that's weird...
oscarpiastri no photo creds after standing in the middle of the road to take that second one??
yourusername you're still alive and well??
landonorris justice for my boy oscar😪
whosalidyah burning all my number 4 mclaren merch
landonorris I take back my earlier statement, I was misguided please forgive me
oscarpiastri the things that love does to people🤦
username ignoring that 3rd photo for my peace of mind
username not me finding out my wife is cheating on me on my birthday
yourusername never bby 💕
oscarpiastri 🤥
mclaren come visit us in the paddock sometime soon!
yourusername I thought you'd never ask!!
username oh?
username Man, I thought I had everything, I was lonely.
oscarpiastri
liked by yourusername, mclaren, landonorris, and 392,487 others
oscarpiastri Thanks to all the fans who came out to support @mclaren today.
yourusername Your nails are gorgg, who did them?? I need the number immediately🤭
oscarpiastri that information is classified🥱
username not y/n tryna act like those aren't her nails...
username babe... who's nails are those??
username why is lando lowkey looking like a snack in that photo??😩
landonorris it's just impossible for me to look bad, truly a gift and a curse😪
whosalidyah don't boost his ego too much now, im scared it might implode...
username just noticed that the nails match the colors on his helmet
username that's actually so cute wtff
username oh it's seriousss
yourusername just a girl waiting for her photo creds
oscarpiastri just a boy waiting for the ones he was robbed of😣
username Now you're my everything, now it's on me.
mclaren
liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, f1, and 203,587 others
mclaren Our papaya boys + Y/n = another good day in the paddock
yourusername I had an amazing time, thank you so much for inviting me (10/10 experience, would recommend).
mclaren You're welcome to join us again anytime!
username ok but who was y/n looking at because I don't think her smile could get any brighter??
username ik y/n was sick of them by the end of this😭
landnorris y/n run they're trying to recruit you
yourusername girl dw i'm already halfway down the road oscarpiastri 🤦
username lmao i love their dynamic
whosalidyah if only I didn't have exams
yourusername never leave me again, oscar and lando almost drove me insane
whosalidyah igu next time babes🤞
username hope to see her at the paddock a lot more!
username oh to be y/n rn
username I could you tell where your head was at when I found you.
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Will You Be Mine?
1 year ago
Y/n was very excited for her date with the one and only Oscar Piastri, not like she hadn't gone on many with him before but he had said he had something very special planned which "fit her persona well", his words not hers. She was very suspicious seeing as basically all their dates filled her with joy and excitement, high standards to exceed, if she did say so herself.
She had gotten her nails painted prior to the date and had made sure her hair looked nice. She had also put on a pretty dress but not before playing dress up and have a whole fashion show in her room with A'lidyah. Her whole hype crew in one person, she was so blessed. While doing touch ups she heard the doorbell ring and practically flew downstairs to go and open the door.
Oscar stared down at her, his face leading her to think he was in a trance or something of the sort. Y/n loved the effect she had on him. She did a little twirl to show him the full fit knowing it would fluster him even more.
"Am I pretty enough for the occasion, Mr. Piastri?" Y/n said chuckling softly before leaving a mannequin like Oscar standing at the door in awe as she went to go grab her purse and let A'lidyah know it was time for her to go. She came back down and Oscar swore she looked like an angel descending from the heavens.
"Well, I'm waiting on an answer?"
"You are absolutely stunning, beyond pretty enough for the occasion, although those are definitely everyday qualities of yours."
"What a sweetheart!" Y/n said, once again teasing the man and taking pleasure in the blush that spread across his face, as she closed the door to the apartment and took Oscar's outstretched hand. As they made it to the car he opened the door for her and allowed her to enter before going around the car and getting in himself.
"Ouhh my favorite song is playing, did you orchestrate this or is the universe just working overtime?" The girl spoke softly in a joking manner.
"A magician can't reveal all his tricks." Oscar said jokingly before smiling softly at the girl in the passenger seat and taking in the joy that radiated from her being. They drove with soft music in the background and just the amazing scenery to guide them through the city. Once they got to the destination, which seemed like a garden of some sort, Oscar practically ran over to her side of the car. Once he had opened the door for her he covered her eyes with his hands.
"Oscar, your coordination better be on point because if I trip your days will be numbered." she said seriously with a hint of humor in her voice.
"Wouldn't be the first time you've fallen for me, now would it love?" Oscar teased as he walked her over to the romantic picnic spot he had set up for her.
"Girl, you know what... just don't be surprised when I jump you." Y/n said playfully. They then came to a stop and and Oscar uncovered her eyes allowing her to see the scene that he had put together. When Y/n saw the sign that said "Will You Be Mine?" her heart felt as though it would jump out of her chest. When she turned to face Oscar he got down on one knee and began to speak before she could say anything.
"From the moment I met you I knew that we would be inevitable. You're intricate but gorgeous hairstyles, your dough like eyes, and your beautiful aura had put me in an immediate trance and I remember thinking 'woah'. My friends once told me that when I looked at you it seemed as though stars had been placed in my eyes purposely as if to gaze upon you meant my pupils had seen an unknown galaxy deeply treasured by the cosmos. So, will you allow me a place in your heart in which I beg to stay for an eternity."
Y/n immediately broke down crying before saying yes a million times and jumping into Oscar's warm embrace.
"I will do my best to treasure your heart." Y/n said before pulling Oscar in for a kiss.
That night the stars danced above them as though rejoicing.
♫ Know life been lifin' lately, so I save you if you save me ♫
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Current Time
yourusername
liked by oscarpiastri, whosalidyah, and 479,502 others
yourusername I was over love, thought I had enough, then I found you @oscarpiastri
This posts comments have been limited to users mentioned
oscarpiastri I was no doubt, stressed out without you.
yourusername the only man ever🤭
oscarpiastri
liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 923,547 others
oscarpiastri All we got is us, when nobody does, I got you @yourusername
This posts comments have been limited to users mentioned
yourusername For your sanity and my mentality.
oscarpiastri mine, in every universe
yourusername omg I'm literally your biggest fan!!
oscarpiastri well I would hope so🤨
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♫ Man, I thought I had everything, I was lonely...
Now you're my everything, now it's on me... ♫
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#f1 smau#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#lando norris#hell n back#summer walker#bakar#op81#op81 x reader#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#x reader#x black reader#x black fem reader#op81 x you#formula 1 fanfic#smau#f1 instagram au#fomula 1 fluff#f1 social media au#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri smau
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I really used to love your blog, but you are being incredibly hostile to people who want to learn and you are assuming people mean to be malicious. As a disabled person, I totally get it. In a sense, pretty much anything that isn't a specifically disabled space (and even sometimes those as well) ARE hostile to disabled people and create tons of barriers that make it difficult just to survive and exist. I understand your frustration, I understand that it is something you desperately need to express. But at some point, it becomes better for you to let the opinions of others go or to try and shift your mindset that not everyone is out to attack you. By all means, block whoever you want to block, express yourself however you want to express yourself. But as a fellow disabled person, I no longer can relate to or find comfort in your posts. Most of which as of lately are FILLED with hostility and are incredibly defensive (which again, I TOTALLY understand.) I only send this ask to wish the best for you. I hope that you can find some place that feels safe, some place and people who accommodate and take care of you. I hope that you can believe in a future where people truly want to help and learn. And I hope that the hate in your heart does not continue to grow. Hating the world does not keep you safe from it. You do not need to bring hostility to the world, the way it seems to do for you. I wish for you to feel safe enough to have an open heart and find happiness as a disabled person.
Hey. I just want you to know that I don’t care like not even slightly. Please unfollow me, in fact block me. I have no patience for this manipulative bullshit.
I’m going to die some day (probably sooner rather than later) and I don’t exist to suck your toes and jack you off while you constantly question my humanity and my right to have the most basic human comforts
Maybe you should work on why you see other disabled human beings (who have feelings, btw!) as living Wikipedia pages who should calmly and joyously educate you while you say stupid shit to them, repeatedly, and without a single care about how it makes them feel.
I know you thought it would be, but my self worth is not located in the approval of random people who don’t even have the balls to come off anon and talk to me.
Farewell, bucko.
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Hey.
Go ahead and get settled because this will be...long, in true Liz fashion.
So, by now I'm sure most of you have heard what's happened. If not, you can search this blog for some answers or others for more.
I joined this fandom offiicially at the end of September after being a long time lurker. I had just lost my job and times were uncertain for me. I felt inspired to write, and as someone whose formative years were shaped by the fandom experience, I wanted to feel that sense of belonging again - to feel like a part of a community. I've talked about it on here before, but I started my fandom days in the original Hunger Games fandom when the first movie had just come out, and then I shifted gears towards the SuperWhoLock fandom. If you know anything about SuperWhoLock, then you know you had to have pretty tough fucking skin to be a part of any of it.
Of course, this was back in the day when fandom was an actual community and not authors having to beg for scraps of engagement and people thinking its a numbers game. I was a fairly large blog within the SuperWhoLock community (Waywardly-Carrying-On was the username), but I left fandom for a few years because life got hectic and I felt like I had outgrown the fandom itself as I was no longer watching any of the shows. As the years went on, I started to yearn for the fandom experience again, which is how I found myself dipping toes into several different ones.
I was so excited to publish my first fanfic. I had convinced myself that I wasn't a good writer (much to the chagrin of my irl friends), and I had put a pause on writing my original story. I wanted to write this idea about a cowboy and a girl using characters that I had grown to love like I did way back in my older days. So, I started posting, and I was so excited for the story, that I kept posting almost daily. MamaMay was one of the first people to embrace not only my story, but me as a person into the fandom. She made me feel welcomed and wanted.
Pretty much right off the bat I was already getting anons telling me that I was being too much and that I needed to calm down with all the posting. I was confused because...this is Tumblr. It's literally a blogging website? Why wouldn't I post? I decided to ignore the mean words (not before giving my opinion, of course) and kept on doing my thing. Well, the anons got continually worse and worse. I had a suspiscion as to who the anons could be, but I never had concrete proof. So, I experimented with blocking suspects until finally it worked. I'm not naming names because that's not my style, so don't even bother asking.
The fact of the matter is, some of you have entered fandom spaces for the first time, and you don't know how to act. You don't care to learn fandom etiquette as you've made abundantly clear by calling fandom olds every name under the sun while utilizing the anonymous feature. Newsflash, you're part of the problem. You're the reason why authors don't want to publish anymore. You are the reason that something that's supposed to be fun is starting to feel like a goddamn chore.
How many times can authors on here say that we aren't machines? We have lives outside of this website: family, friends, jobs, school, etc. Some of you really are just hellbent on making everyone around you miserable, and it's sad. You can't just leave well enough alone and let people enjoy something, no you feel like everyone has to enjoy it the same way as you.
Some of you go after authors on here because of some weird sense of jealousy too. I don't know why my shit blew up, babe, I really don't. But I started out with no followers and no support just like everyone else. I'll tell you what helped me though: following fandom etiquette and reaching out to other creators to build an actual community. None of this "I've reblogged three of your things and now I'm messaging you so that you return the favor." No, I reached out to make actual friendships which is what fandom is SUPPOSED to be. If someone was clearly not interested, it was fine!! I backed off and kept doing my own thing.
Some of you think being mean on the internet makes you big and bad. Guess what! It doesn't! It's loser mentality and I feel genuinely sorry for you. I'm sorry that people in your own life made you feel so small as to feel like you had to lash out at strangers on the internet who are just trying to have fun.
Anyway, this is my really long way of saying that I am taking a break for a little bit. I have no idea how long it will be - could be the weekend, could be a couple of weeks, could be forever. I need time to decide if this is something I want to keep persuing. If I come back, I don't know if I will remain a TGM blog or if I'll shift gears and hop into another fandom with a rebrand. Guess we'll just have to see.
To the people on here who have been a constant source of joy, laughter, and support: thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Your presence has meant everything to me, and I hope that my break sees me wanting to come back and giggle about the silly plane movie with you all again.
Nothing but love,
Liz 💛
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𝑩𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝑭𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅'𝒔 𝑴𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 (10)
Best Friend's Mother Masterlist
Chapter: Ten
Milf!Park Seonghwa X gn!reader
Summary: Christmas has finally come. But with it, the end of Winter Break, and feelings that both you and Seonghwa are still too scared to confront.
WC: 6.3k
CW: Fluff, angst, suggestive but it cuts off
AN: I'm so sorry this took so long. I don't have much to say, other than this is more angsty than I planned, but I think it makes for a better story. I hope it's a good part one finale for you all, and you enjoy, as always. 💜
Tag List: @hyunjinsjeans @malldreamprincess @unlikelysublimekryptonite @goayeos @kittkat44 @babyxhoiz @asleepylilcat @mxnsxngie @rxnexxi @mommahwa1117 @acciocriativity @anxiousskylar @h3arteyes4mingi @jus2passtime @asjkdk @soso59love-blog @i-love-ateez @cb97s-laptop @multistanbaby
It was December 24th, and you were awake way earlier than you wanted to be, standing in a jewelry store, looking through the glass of the display case at the many expensive, gorgeous, necklaces.
But tomorrow was Christmas, and you needed a gift for Seonghwa, so sacrifices had to be made.
You’d already figured out a gift for Wooyoung ages ago, you had it wrapped and ready in your guest room at the house.
Now you were here, looking for a gift for his mother.
You often had moments where you still couldn’t believe the life you were currently living.
“Do you need help?” You snapped your head up to find the person who spoke to you, and your eyes found a sweet older woman, smiling at you from behind her glasses. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, dear.”
“No, it’s alright,” you said back, offering back a half smile as you tried to collect yourself. “I’m just looking for a last minute gift.
“Oh, well, what exactly are you looking for?” The older woman came closer, looking over the necklaces in the case as you were.
At that moment, you realized that you really didn’t know what to look for.
You had a good sense of Seonghwa’s style by now, but in terms of jewelry, you were a little stumped. In the month you’d been there, the three of you hadn’t really gone out, so none of you really “dressed up.”
But of the things you did see, you weren’t sure what he preferred. He usually wore chains, something elegant to go with his already sophisticated outfits.
But at the same time, you didn’t want a generic, expensive diamond necklace on a silver chain. Most necklaces looked like that, just a pretty pendant on a cheap, boring chain.
Of course, they had their own charm, and you had a few necklaces like that yourself. But you wanted to find him something special, something as unique as he was.
You were wishing you’d asked Wooyoung what Seonghwa would wear, but even you knew about Wooyoung’s inability to shut the fuck up. So if you did ask, you ran the risk of spoiling the surprise.
“I don’t really know,” you mumbled, putting your hands into the pocket of your hoodie.
“Well, maybe I can help you,” the older woman offered, giving you another sweet smile. You had to admit, in the back of your mind, you were doubtful. But you’d accept any help you could at that moment.
You nodded, and the older woman nodded back. “So, who is it for?”
You hesitated, even if this was the expected first question. Considering the previous day’s events, you were even more hesitant to even breathe a word of your infatuation with Seonghwa to anyone.
So you spit out some half formed excuse that you hoped sounded believable. “For someone I’ve been seeing.”
The older woman’s eyes lit up like stars as a big smile spread across her face. You couldn’t help but smile with her.
“Isn’t that precious?” She looked at the display cases again before she looked back at you. “What are they like? What do they like to wear?”
Like magic, there he was in your mind. Seonghwa, in his gorgeous dresses and outfits. Walking like a queen with the way he held himself. His gorgeous smile that lit up the world, and his bright doe eyes.
He was everything. He was wonderful.
“He’s very mature,” you began, not picking up on the fact that “he” was the pronoun that came out. “He dresses expensively. He’s a type that likes the finer things in life.”
“You’re looking for something a little more expensive?” The woman teased with a little grin, but you nodded in agreement. You did have a budget, as your student loan money that you were using couldn’t all go to a Christmas present.
But for Seonghwa, you’d do it.
“Come with me.” The older woman began walking around to a different display case, and the necklaces here were far more ornate and expensive than the ones you were looking at. Your heart stopped when you saw the price tag on one of them.
One of these necklaces could easily pay for at least half a year of your tuition. That was intimidating, to say the very least.
The older woman must’ve saw the color drain from your face, because she quickly leaned on the counter and spoke to you softly: “This is where I tell people to look for the piece they want, and then we usually find something more affordable that’s close to what they want.”
Your entire body sagged with relief.
So there you went, looking over the necklaces they had. These ones weren’t just jewels on a chain, they were much more detailed than that, more intricate. There was more color in them, more styles overall.
As you were weighing your options, you were imagining Seonghwa in your mind, picturing how he’d look with each of them, what he’d wear with them, how it would look against his honey skin.
A few times, you got a little too wrapped up in your fantasies and had to pull yourself back.
You repeated the process until your eyes landed on the one. The one you could perfectly see Seonghwa wearing.
It was a choker with a large red stone in the center, with many others around it. There were a few diamonds around it as well, but they were quite small.
It could’ve been a crown.
“This one?” The older woman asked, knocking you out of your thoughts and back to reality. You shook yourself and nodded, smiling. “It’s quite expensive, are you sure?”
You looked at the price tag, and the necklace would definitely drain your bank account.
But you wanted it. You wanted him to have it.
“Yes,” you said, nodding. “I want that one.”
The older woman hesitated for a moment, but then she nodded as well, and went to wrap up the choker. You watched as she took it and put it into a silk lined velvet box, laying it out carefully, as if she could feel the price of every gemstone.
You followed her around the counter to where she was going to ring it up, trying your best to not be impatient. But the older woman couldn’t help but smile at your fidgeting and shifting around.
Just thinking about Seonghwa wearing it, how pretty the red would look against his skin, the chains around his pretty neck-
“Please insert your card, dear,” the older woman called, still smiling brightly.
You babbled out a “sorry” as you fumbled for your card to pay for the choker. The old woman was still smiling as you went through with the payment.
And yes, the choker was incredibly expensive. No, it didn’t count as a student expense.
But it was worth it for Seonghwa.
The older woman pushed the bag across the counter to you. “There you go.” She flashed that sweet, warm smile at you again as you carefully lifted the bag off the counter. “I’m sure he’ll love it.”
At that moment, you looked into her eyes. You looked for any deceit. Any lies. Any possible malice or potential push back.
But there was nothing. Just light and joy.
You smiled back and nodded as relief washed over you. “I think so too.”
You placed the bag underneath the Christmas tree, hiding it behind the present you got Wooyoung. Thankfully, the both of them were still asleep when you arrived back at the house.
A stark contrast to the night before, the house was quiet, and empty. No people, no music, nothing. Just a house, full of decorations.
But now, you were fortunate for everyone to be asleep so you could tuck your very expensive, very special present behind the others.
But since the moment you left the store, you were having doubts. You just spent a lot of money on Seonghwa. You bought him something very special, something most people don’t gift to others unless they’ve known each other for quite some time.
You hadn’t known Seonghwa for quite some time. In fact, most people would think you’re doing much more than you should so early on. Even you were thinking that.
But you couldn’t deny the ache in your chest when you thought about Seonghwa. The goddamn ache, the feeling that could’ve dropped you to your knees if you weren’t careful. The ache you felt all over your body when you didn’t get the chance to even hold his hand, to hug him, to be with him.
The crippling feeling when you thought about going back to campus and not seeing him for months.
Maybe you were falling too soon and too hard. Maybe this wasn’t right.
You moved to reach for the bag when you heard two doors open and close. As footsteps moved across the hardwood floor upstairs, you worked to get your jacket and shoes off as quickly and quietly as possible before the owners came downstairs.
You closed the door to the coat closet as Yeosang and Jongho made their way down the stairs, wearing what looked like Wooyoung’s shirts and shorts, their hair messy and eyes half open. You gave them the best smile you could muster at that point, but tried to not over do it.
“What are you doing up so early?” Jongho asked, his voice scratchy and low. Your eyes flicked up to the clock on the wall in the living room, above the TV, and it was just after seven. Would it be early if you were still on campus? No.
But you weren’t on campus, so yes, it was early.
But you realized you didn’t have an excuse as to why you were up so early.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” you babbled, trying to sound as nonchalant as you could manage. To your relief, the two half awake men in front of you weren’t in the mood to interrogate you.
“Us too,” Yeosang agreed, following Jongho into the kitchen. You did the same, getting glasses of water with them and sitting at the kitchen table.
None of you said anything for a few moments. You three were enjoying the early morning silence, the peace, the few stray strands of sunlight peeking in through the windows and stretching across the floor.
Eventually, Jongho broke the peaceful silence. “Do you think San and Wooyoung will be down before noon?”
Yeosang pretended to think as he took another sip from his glass. He looked off, as if into the distance, like he was prophesying about the future. You couldn’t help but laugh. The sound made Yeosang smile.
“No, I think they’ll be there until we go find them,” he concluded, finishing the rest of his water afterwards. You nodded in agreement, taking another sip from your glass.
“I expected the same from you.” Jongho looked at you over the rim of his glass as he sipped his water. You looked down as your face began to burn. You didn’t have an answer to that, so you kept quiet. But you knew your friends wouldn’t let you off easy.
Yeosang continued the conversation as he set his glass down in front of himself. “Yeah, it is a little weird that you’re awake so early, fully dressed, standing by the front door.”
Both men were looking at you now as you stared down at the table, your face burning like the sun, the heat pulsing in waves.
It’s not that you were worried that they’d spoil the surprise. You were more afraid of their opinions and judgements of the gift you got. You could handle the jokes and even fire back at them, and you welcomed the banter about the relationship you’d found yourself in.
But you were already beginning to have second thoughts about the expensive present sitting across the house, tucked away under the tree, hidden away from sight because you were embarrassed.
It was everything you were afraid of. Falling too hard too fast, committing to something larger than yourself, something you very well might not be ready for.
“Hey,” Jongho called, waving his hand close to your face. “You kinda spaced there, you okay?”
You blinked a few times, like you were rebooting yourself, and smiled as best you could. “Yeah, sorry, I’m good.”
“Are you sure?” Yeosang countered. Their slightly amused faces turned to ones of concern, their eyebrows down. They weren’t sure what exactly was in your head, but they knew it wasn’t nothing, like you were about to tell them it was.
And you knew they would push. But you didn’t want to vent all of your worries and fears and poor life choices at seven in the morning, especially when they didn’t know the full extent of the month’s events.
Thankfully, you had your out, as Wooyoung came down the stairs with San close behind. They both looked like they’d skipped the waking up part of waking up, with fluttering mostly closed eyes and their hair the best example of a “rat’s nest.”
Yeosang and Jongho looked up at them as they came into the kitchen, sliding their feet across the floor, hardly picking them up.
“Good morning, sunshine,” you said cheerfully, trying to steer the conversation to the two zombie looking men that strode in. The two men at the table, to your relief, joined you in teasing the others.
“The year hasn’t changed yet, just for reference,” Jongho threw out. Wooyoung rolled his eyes as he continued past the table to the cabinet to get himself and San a drink.
San followed him, stopping when he did, wrapping his arms around Wooyoung’s waist from behind and laying his head on the younger’s shoulder.
With the heat off you, you breathed a small sigh of relief. You knew this wouldn’t be the last of the conversation, but that would be a problem for future you to handle.
Seonghwa didn’t wake up until an hour after San and Wooyoung had. That was to be expected, after all the party planning and hosting he’d done the day prior. Not to mention, the emotional distress was quite draining.
Wooyoung helped him with breakfast, and you all ate with minimal conversation, of which you were grateful for. The less you spoke, the less chances you had to expose or incriminate yourself.
The rest of the morning was mostly slow and quiet. You were all still recovering and resting from the previous day, and dreading the end of Winter Break as a whole.
Classes started again in the second week of January, but you and Wooyoung had agreed to be back on campus by January 1st.
If you weren’t counting Christmas Eve, the day you were thinking all of this, you had only one week left. Seven more days until you had to leave.
It didn’t help that Seonghwa was being particularly clingy that day. He sat next to you at breakfast, he was holding your hand, he was giving you little kisses.
He hugged you from behind as you were helping with the dishes, holding you tight while his body pressed into yours.
He wordlessly demanded cuddles from you when everyone dispersed after breakfast. He pulled you onto the couch and held you tight, almost falling right back asleep when he did.
You didn’t think, or really even wanted to, ask why Seonghwa was so attached to you that day. You told yourself it was because he was tired. Or maybe he realized you would be leaving in a week too.
Whatever it was, you were conflicted.
You couldn’t stop thinking as you laid in Seonghwa’s arms, your head on his chest. You wanted to relax into his warmth and safety and let the tension melt off your body.
But you kept thinking of that goddamn choker. The choker you were so proud of finding, that you gladly spent so much money on, the choker that you knew would look amazing on him.
It was stuck in your head because you didn’t know if you were actually going to give it to him or not.
Maybe you’d just take it back to campus with you and save it for another time. Maybe you’d return it altogether. You’d just sit with Wooyoung as Seonghwa opened the Lego sets Wooyoung said you both could take credit for.
Maybe that was the safer option. Maybe that was the less crazy option.
But as you began to accept that conclusion and make peace with it, the ache was back.
As you listened to Seonghwa’s steady heartbeat, feeling his hand run up and down your back, the ache returned with a burning passion. Your breathing grew labored, like the ache was genuinely squeezing your heart and forcing the air out of your lungs.
Tears welled in your eyes as you imagined shoving the choker’s bag into your own and taking it back to campus with you. The ache spread to your arms and legs as you thought about never presenting the gift to him, and simply just watching him open the presents Wooyoung bought.
Your whole body hurt. It felt like a pulsing, squeezing pain, and you couldn’t escape it. You couldn’t stop the tears from running down your face.
You’d fallen in too deep. You fell too hard, too fast.
Everything you’d been afraid of had happened exactly as you thought it would.
By the time your friends left, the sky was already darkening again. As much as you all would’ve loved for them to stay, they had families to go home to as well.
You wondered how long it would be before San and Wooyoung were consistently going to each other’s family events. Or even hosting their own.
But it was hours since then, and you were sitting back on the couch with Seonghwa and Wooyoung. Seonghwa sat between the two of you, his arm around your shoulders, holding you tight against him, with Wooyoung sitting the same way.
But Wooyoung was stretched across most of the couch and his arms were dramatically thrown around Seonghwa, like he was a figure in a painting you’d find in an old museum.
You three had agreed to get snacks and drinks and watch Christmas movies until midnight, when you could open your gifts for each other.
But the movies kept getting interrupted by Wooyoung being impatient, general commentary, and before you all knew it, you were all talking again with the movies long forgotten.
In a way, you preferred this. The more time you spent talking, the less time you had to think about the impending time of your decision. But as the clock ticked down, as midnight drew closer, your efforts were in vain.
All you could think of was that goddamn choker. The repeated question of “will you, won’t you” flashing across your eyes like some kind of horror montage.
You started to feel sick. Your stomach was churning, your head felt light. You were pretty sure you were beginning to turn green. All over a fucking choker.
Midnight drew ever closer, and the dread in your stomach intensified and grew with every second that ticked by. Your eyes kept jumping back and forth, from the clock on the wall to the TV and back again.
You nearly jumped out of your skin when Wooyoung sat up and yelled, “It’s Christmas!”
Your hands were slightly shaking as Wooyoung got up from the couch and pulled you and Seonghwa along, dragging you across the room to kneel down by the Christmas tree.
The warm lights of the tree that once brought you comfort now nearly made you vomit.
You swallowed it back as you settled next to the tree on the hardwood floor, pushing the bag with the choker further back into the corner. Your wrapped your arm around your back in an effort to do so as subtly as possible.
Seonghwa also came to sit on the floor in front of the tree between you and Wooyoung, but only after he’d gotten a trash bag to put the discarded wrapping paper in. Wooyoung happily shoved a box towards Seonghwa, a huge smile stretched across his face.
“We got this one for you!” He dropped the present in Seonghwa’s lap as he reached over to grab the other boxes that had Seonghwa’s name on the tag. “And these ones too.”
Seonghwa pouted, but then smiled warmly at his son. Oh, how ethereal he looked under the light of the Christmas tree, delicately highlighting his warm skin and putting sparkles in his eyes.
You shook your head and came back to the present as Seonghwa began to tear the wrapping paper off the box in his lap. His smile grew bigger the more he revealed the box, and finally laughed in excitement.
“Oh, nae sarang,” Seonghwa sighed, putting the wrapping paper in the trash bag. “This is so sweet of you, thank you.”
Wooyoung was absolutely beaming, his smile outshining the tree beside him. His eyes flicked over to you, and you couldn’t help but share his smile. Seonghwa looked at you too, and your heart fluttered at the genuine gratitude in them.
“Thank you too, jagiya.”
You just nodded, your heart cracking a little.
But you happily watched Seonghwa tear open the rest of the boxes. His eyes lit up every time, laughing in pure joy at the brand new expensive Lego sets. You nodded every time he said thank you, but guilt pulled at your heart knowing you didn’t actually contribute in any way.
But Wooyoung didn’t seem to mind. He was just as happy seeing Seonghwa open the presents, as if he was the one receiving them instead of giving them out.
You were truly the luckiest person to have Wooyoung.
After Seonghwa had finished unwrapping the Lego boxes, he stacked them up and put them aside, and then pulled Wooyoung into a tight hug.
“Thank you, nae sarang,” he said softly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.
“You’re welcome, Eomma,” Wooyoung whispered, squeezing Seonghwa tighter.
Your heart cracked again.
Wooyoung pulled away from Seonghwa and reached back under the tree for a bag. It looked fairly inconspicuous, just a regular white bag with white tissue paper sticking out the top. But in your experience with Wooyoung, quiet and boring was always suspicious.
Seeing your hesitation, Wooyoung sighed and rolled his eyes. “It’s not a bomb, don’t look at it like that,” he whined. “Just open it.”
“It’s a bag, it’s already open,” you teased, to which Wooyoung groaned and rolled his head back. Both you and Seonghwa let out a soft giggle.
“Just open it, please!”
With another giggle, you pulled the tissue paper aside and looked into the bag, seeing a bundle wrapped in more tissue paper. You carefully pulled it out and pulled the paper off to reveal the gift.
“Wooyoung,” you breathed as you looked over the expensive outfit in your hands. The logo on the tag was what you saw first, your head shooting up to look at him in bewilderment. “What is this?”
“Clothes, dummy,” he answered with his award winning smile again. “Now you don’t have to borrow my clothes for events.”
You know his comment was a joke, but his words went straight to your heart. You hadn’t asked for this, Hell, you didn’t even think about buying it for yourself.
But you finally had a nice outfit for events, or parties.
Or maybe even future restaurant dates.
“Thank you.” You carefully folded the clothes back up, as if they’d unravel in your hands, and laid them back in the bag.
“You don’t have to thank me, it was a necessity.”
You rolled your eyes, to which Wooyoung just smiled. You couldn’t stop yourself from doing the same.
“Is it my turn now?” Seonghwa asked as you put the bag aside. Your eyes caught a glimpse of your own gift behind the tree again.
“Sure,” you breathed, your lungs shrinking. Wooyoung eagerly reached under the tree and grabbed a box, wrapped in gold wrapping paper, with his name written on it in Hangul.
He wasted no time in shredding the paper, almost reminiscent of a cat, and revealed a large, expensive laptop. Wooyoung just stared at it for a few moments with his jaw hanging open, his eyes the size of dinner plates.
“Eomma,” he whispered, then looked up at Seonghwa. “When I said I wanted a new one, I wasn’t serious,” he started to explain, but Seonghwa held up his hand to stop him.
“I don’t care, I wanted to get it for you. And I think college would be a little difficult with a broken laptop.”
You held back a giggle remembering the moment Wooyoung dramatically wailed about how he accidentally knocked his previous laptop off a table and onto the linoleum floor of the classroom.
Wooyoung just stared at Seonghwa for a few moments, like he was about to tell his son it was all a joke. But when Seonghwa just smiled at him, in the warm mom way, Wooyoung smiled too and hugged the box.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, nae sarang.”
Wooyoung set the box aside carefully, slowly setting it down beside him, making sure it would be safe before he turned to you and Seonghwa.
You looked up at Seonghwa, and he smiled at you warmly before he reached over and squeezed your hand. “Your present comes later.”
It took every ounce of strength to not burst into tears right then and there. You just mustered up the best smile you could and nodded. There was no teasing look in Seonghwa’s eyes, no allusion to more. Just his warm smile and bright eyes.
“Eomma, I didn’t need to know that,” Wooyoung groaned dramatically, speaking loudly as he flung himself back to lay on the floor. You rolled your eyes as Seonghwa pulled his hand away and looked back at Wooyoung.
“It’s not like that,” he began, but Wooyoung just whined again.
“If you’re gonna be like that, then I won’t give you your present,” you added as you pulled out a large, black bag from under the tree, with black wrapping paper sticking out of it.
Wooyoung shot up and looked at you, and then at the bag, then back again in confusion. His brows went down as he opened his mouth to question you, but you just slid the bag across the floor to him.
“I’ve had them hidden for months,” you explained as wooyoung grabbed the bag.
“Them?”
“Yes, them, now go look!”
Wooyoung looked at the bag again, this time with a look of concern instead of confusion, like something was about to jump out at him. He studied the still bag for a few more moments before he finally pulled out the tissue paper and looked inside.
And he pulled out two small plushies: A black cat and a red fox.
Wooyoung gasped as he pulled them out, then hugged them tightly. “You remembered!” He exclaimed as he looked at them again, turning them over and admiring all the little details.
Months prior, Wooyoung wouldn’t stop talking about these plushies he wanted. He had a collection going, and he needed those two to complete it, but he never had a chance to get them.
So one night, you did. You ordered them online and hid them in your dorm for months, waiting for the day you could’ve given it to Wooyoung.
And here you were, on Christmas Day, finally seeing his eyes light up like stars as he looked at them both, hugging them like they were his children.
The sight helped alleviate some of the tension in your chest.
“Thank you,” he finally said to you as he looked up. You smiled, and this time, it was genuine.
“You’re welcome.”
Meanwhile, Seonghwa was smiling just as brightly. The mom smile you adored, the softness in his eyes as he looked at you both with unending fondness.
It cracked your heart all over again.
With all your presents exchanged, Seonghwa and Wooyoung collected their gifts and went to bring them to their rooms.
You did the same, but hid the choker bag in the gift bag Wooyoung gave you, and ran to your room to hide it there.
How ridiculous this all was. You bought the choker for Seonghwa, you brought it home, you’d imagined how beautiful he’d look with it. You’d walked out of that store knowing he’d gratefully accept the gift, and you were excited to see him wear it.
But how could you give someone like him something like this? This was far too much money for someone you haven’t known for nearly enough time.
But you bought it because of the goddamn pain in your chest. The suffocating, choking ache that grew ever stronger every day. It invaded every part of your body, it was in your blood and bones. Even if you wanted to smother it and shove it away, it would take forever.
You knew what it was. You knew why it was there.
But you didn’t have the courage to say it. Which is why the choker was getting shoved in the duffle bag and into the closet as you fought back tears.
Maybe you’d give it to Seonghwa another day. Maybe as a birthday present, whenever that was.
But not now. You couldn’t do it now.
As you wiped the tears from your eyes, there was a gentle knock at the door before it opened a little.
“May I come in?” It was Seonghwa, you knew it was him before he even spoke.
You nodded, as if he could see that, as you said “yes” and sat down on the bed. Seonghwa came into the room and carefully shut the door behind him before he came to sit down next to you.
In his hand was a square, navy, velvet box, about the side of a small plate. He held it out to you with a warm smile that would have melted the coldest of hearts. You took the box from him carefully, like it would disappear at any second, and were surprised when it had a little weight to it.
“It’s okay,” he said softly when you hesitated, putting one of his hands over yours. You looked up and met his big, brown eyes again. “It’s all yours, jagiya.”
You just nodded, because you couldn't think of anything meaningful to say as your eyes fell back down to the box in your hands.
You shoved away the guilt that stirred in your gut as you slowly opened the velvet case, and tears welled in your eyes all over again.
It’s like Seonghwa knew you were buying him a choker earlier, and that you wanted something with more detail and intricacies.
A necklace, but there were gemstones all up the chain with a larger one hanging from the bottom. The gemstones on the chain were small and simple. not trying to be in the way, but just to elevate the chain.
The larger, square cut gemstone that hung from the ornate chain was meant to be in the way. It wasn’t obnoxiously large, no, it was just perfect.
Everything was perfect. You were blinking back tears, it was so perfect.
“Seonghwa, this is beautiful,” you whispered, your throat closing up. You ran your fingers over the gemstones, almost like you needed to touch it to see if it was real.
Seonghwa was beaming, lighting up the whole room with his smile as he watched you admire the necklace. “You said you wanted something to show off.”
“And I will.” You carefully lifted the necklace out of the box, and as you were going to put it on, Seonghwa stopped you and reached up to take it.
“May I?” Two simple words. Words that were very small and insignificant to anyone else.
But this moment felt like much more than just putting on a necklace.
It almost felt sacred. Intimate. Like a ceremony.
You nodded and gave the necklace to Seonghwa. He moved closer and wrapped it around your neck, reaching over your shoulder to clasp it behind your neck. You felt your face burn at how close he was, with his arms around you, his body enveloping yours.
But he pulled back just a few seconds later to admire how the beautiful piece sat against your skin. Seonghwa’s eyes lit up like stars as his smile spread across his whole face again. “I knew it was perfect,” he said softly as he ran his fingers down the chain.
If your heart could beat any harder, the large stone on the necklace would’ve started shaking. It was a bizarre feeling, to be so guilty and torn up, but so elated, and desire the man before you.
And when Seonghwa’s eyes flicked up to yours, it’s as if he could see it all. Every tear, every smile, eerie second guess you’d ever had. Like he could see the entire month of December replaying in your eyes in those few seconds.
There were no other words spoken as Seonghwa leaned close and pressed his lips to yours. It was a soft kiss, feather light. Loving.
When Seonghwa laid you down on your back, your body turned to putty in his hands. Your limbs were growing weak as you wrapped them around his body. You wanted him as close as close could be, wanted to remember his taste, every soft moan as he breathed his life into every kiss, the touch of his hands on every part of your body.
You wanted it all. And Seonghwa was more than happy to provide.
The first day of the new year had come and gone. The thirty one days of December went by faster than they had in previous years.
But as you and Wooyoung loaded your bags back up into his car, you were anything but joyful.
“We’ll visit again during Spring Break,” he reassured you as he closed the trunk. “And it’s not like you don’t have his number, you can still talk to him.”
Wooyoung was trying his best to reassure you, but his face fell when he realized nothing was working. Everything he was telling you, you already knew it. Obviously you’d see Seonghwa again, and you’d probably be texting him at least once every few days, if not every day.
The world was not ending. This blissful period did, but it wasn’t the end of everything. You’d be back, you’d see Seonghwa again.
But the months between January 1st and Spring Break would be difficult after the month you’d just lived through.
It felt juvenile. You were a grown adult in college, working towards a degree to hopefully secure a good career and have a comfortable life. You had classes to worry about, not your boyfriend who’s double your age.
But he wouldn’t ever leave your head. You knew in your head that when you went back to class, he’d probably be there in the back of your head.
An effort in mental gymnastics is what these next few months would hold.
Wooyoung brought you back up to the house for your final goodbyes. Seonghwa was standing in the open doorway, dressed in a cream knitted sweater with black sweatpants. Normally, he was dressed up in some way, even if it was a pajama set. Today, he hadn’t bothered with fashion.
Wooyoung hugged him first, squeezed him so tight, he lifted Seonghwa off the floor. For the first time that morning, you smiled as they both laughed. The noise of surprise and protest Seonghwa let out just made Wooyoung hoist him up more, until all three of you were laughing.
“How could you put your poor eomma through such things?” Seonghwa asked in a perfectly dramatic voice as he made a show of fixing his hair and sweater.
“As if you’re any better,” Wooyoung teased. Seonghwa just smiled and kissed his head, to which Wooyoung reciprocated with a cheek kiss.
“Be safe, nae sarang.”
“I will, Eomma.”
They exchanged an “I love you” before Wooyoung walked away, and gave you a nod before he went to sit in the car to wait.
It was like a movie scene. The sun was setting, the snow was falling. The sunset colors illuminated your face as Seonghwa gave you a half hearted smile.
You wordlessly hugged him tightly, and he instantly returned the hug. You two stayed there in that hug, silently clinging onto each other like it would be the last time.
It wouldn’t be the last time. Far from it.
But you both found something that December. You found someone. And it was so special, you couldn’t bear to lose it.
As you pulled back to look up at him, the little voice was in your head again. Telling you that you were taking this too seriously, that you shouldn’t have been so upset, that this wasn’t a big deal.
The voice disappeared as Seonghwa pulled you into another loving kiss. The idea that this was a movie scene popped back into your head as he held your cheek and kept you close.
You could've sworn you heard your heart break when you both pulled away.
“Be safe,” Seonghwa softly said onto your lips. You nodded as you painstakingly pulled out of his arms.
“I will. You too.”
Seonghwa gave you another small smile. His eyes flicked down to the necklace that you still wore. You’d worn it every day since the night he gave it to you, and kept it in it’s case every night.
You smiled back before you forced yourself to walk back to Wooyoung’s car. Seonghwa watched from the doorway until Wooyoung’s car disappeared, and he could no longer hear it.
Wooyoung reached over the center console and held your hand, lacing his fingers with yours and squeezing. He didn’t need to say anything, no words needed to be said.
But as you were swallowing back the tightness in your throat and blinking back tears, the comfort felt good. The firm squeeze was what you needed, as you both were headed back to campus, unsure of where life was going to bring you both next.
Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed! 💜
This is a work of fiction written by me. This does not represent the idol(s) in any way. Any re-upload is not allowed and will be reported.
#ateez#ateez fanfiction#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#ateez ff#ateez x reader#ateez seonghwa#park seonghwa#seonghwa#seonghwa fanfiction#seonghwa fanfic#seonghwa fic#seonghwa ff#seonghwa x reader#best friend's mother
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can i just word vomit for a min...
there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.
but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.
on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!
frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞
to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.
but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌
(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)
#to be 100% clear this is not a goodbye - i'm literally halfway done with the next story post#just sort of an update on the state of my brain#👍🏻#btw...... sorry to Watcher fans lmaoo you guys really got the short end of the parasocial relationship stick..... </3#that's not relevant to anything i've said here i've just spent way too much time thinking about how youtube has changed in the past 20 year#because i'm a loser that got really into youtube when i was 11 and never looked back#and then the watcher thing happened. and i was like ohhh if dan and phil did that to me i would have to die about it.
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Aspd culture is listening to someone vent for the 100th time and telling them to kill themselves already cause they’re annoying as FUCK
Massive TW for sui talk here obviously
God this was tough to have pop up as a notification. Whilst I understand the frustration leading there, I can’t condone that kind of thing. I’ve spent way too much time su1c1d4l myself to encourage that. Even with ASPD, we need to be careful of what we’re saying to other people. If this was about thinking it, absolutely I could understand, but doing it? No that’s not ASPD-culture at least not in my eyes. Please don’t tell anyone to hurt themselves. Even if it’s just for the reason of legal liability, don’t do it.
Edit: someone noted a completely valid point here that saying this “isn’t ASPD culture” rather than simply saying that it’s triggering to me and I’m not comfortable having on my particular ASPD culture blog gives off the wrong idea, because this kind of thing does fit the definition of ASPD.
So just to clarify, what I meant here was more in line with the idea that it’s too serious and personal of an issue for me and I’m sure for some pwASPD too who have had this done to them for me to be posting to this blog. I in no way meant to invalidate this as a symptom, because it IS a part of ASPD to have these thoughts and actions. It’s just not something I want to encourage or platform here because of my personal triggers.
Apologies for phrasing it the way I did, it was a post done quickly and in a triggered state and wasn’t thought through as well as the posts I make usually are. In the spirit of honesty and accountability, I’ve added this edit rather than covering the original language. To avoid this issue in the future, I will be deleting posts discussing the action of (not the thought of) telling people to hurt/unalive themselves.
In no way is this apology saying I condone the actions here though. Acknowledging that they are a part of the experience a pwASPD may have with their symptoms is not the same as saying it’s okay, and part of the mistake I made in the first place was believing one was the same as the other.
#too serious for me to ignore#sorry about that#because I try not to respond this way to any asks because it’s a part of the disorder to have urges and thoughts on this line#but I just can’t support this kind of thing when I know what it’s like on the other side of it#and I think a lot of other pwASPD have probably been there too#if for no other reason than being clear of legal liability do not tell people to do that#TW sui#tw sui mention#tw sui ideation#tw sui talk#ask to tag#ask to TW#aspd-culture-is
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I've seen the same post a hundred times now. Sometimes it's a few days old, sometimes it's from years ago, but it's always the same. Some anti posts about how they don't understand how anyone can like Snape because he was so awful, and then there's a long reply that goes something like, "imagine this happens to you, and then this, and then this" to describe Snape's experience. Sometimes there's some James Potter hate thrown in.
Look. You can go through describing a character's entire experience but you don't really need to. Here's the thing that antis don't understand:
For all her faults (and they're big, bigoted ones) Rowling understood a really integral part of the human experience and conveyed it through Snape. Everyone needs love and to feel accepted. It's that simple. Snape became a Death Eater to seek acceptance (Rowling has confirmed this, though I can't remember the source - whoever wants to add it please do), because it was the only way he could find any.
Snape's understanding of morality, like everyone's, is subjective. Some readers understand this and some don't. When faced against a morality that says there is good and bad in the world, everyone makes choices based on their personal experience. Context is everything. Someone who experiences pain and suffering will not see the person inflicting it on them as moral. That's it. 'How can this person be good when they caused me so much suffering?' = human psychology. Most of the people who think 'I'm a bad person and deserve this' have been gaslit and abused into thinking so, because it's not a natural reaction - it's one that has to often be socialized into someone at a young age, exactly because it's not natural. Everyone is the hero of their own story; no one sees themselves as a villain, because they see the valid aspects of their own perspective.
You can write essays on how vulnerable people needing acceptance is what cults and fascists exploit to recruit vulnerable people, or on how the standard anti's un-nuanced reading of Snape both ignores canon and displays a disturbing lack of empathy or compassion, but at its core it just boils down to context. From Snape's perspective he experienced cruelty, therefore the people inflicting it must be cruel. Again, it's that simple. He was a person, like any other, except he was fictional so he wasn't even real. On the flip side is James Potter, who, for all his faults, didn't get to live long enough to get a chance to change and grow unlike Snape, and I think the Snapedom also needs to acknowledge that.
They're fictional characters representing things an author wants to say, not sports teams, not martyrs, and not all good or all bad emblems that define your identity depending on how you feel about them. It's depressing how much time is wasted arguing with bullies and trolls whether from the Marauders fandom or just random antis. I literally can't find more than three blogs to follow without this argument coming across my feed daily. I know the Snapedom is Not OK™ and that's kind why we're all here, and I know that my take is super unpopular but like Snape, I don't care what others think: this fandom has been having the exact same argument for years and nothing has changed. There's fanart and meta and fic and so much content out there appreciating this character, you're not going to change an anti's mind who's deliberately trolling in the tags, so why are you trying? What are you getting out of it? What does it give you? It's exhausting just scrolling past it.
#The thing about morality is that it's subjective#the religious leader who's a beacon of moral purity to their congregation#is a source of selfishness and pain to someone they abuse in secret#is that abuse victim immoral for rejecting the values the religious leader represents?#the congregation might think so because their definition of morality relies on the religious leader being a moral guide#the victim might not think so though because how can something be righteous if it causes suffering#look this is just an example of how perspectives can vary and I know there are more possible takes on that example#my point is that the idea that there's no clear 'good' and 'evil' there's only power/what you do with it is actually how psychology works#'good' to one person can be pain to another#'scourgify' is an innocuous household spell that cleans stains until it's used to waterboard someone#context matters more than labels like 'light' and 'dark' magic
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Fuck it. Invincible Tumblr
💥 explosionsbaby Follow
Wake up to see the aliens attacking again. God fucking damn it.
❤️ justamonstergirl Follow
Imagine how the aliens feel after seeing you
💥 explosionsbaby Follow
Get better insults. You won't be insulting anyone that way
❤️ justamonstergirl Follow
Nahhh. Don't need to. You already humiliate yourself every time you open your mouth
💥 explosionsbaby Follow
Your entire existence is an insult
☪️ superherofan Follow
i forget that superheroes have social media and regularly use it.... invincible has Tumblr holy shit
🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow
Boo.
☪️ superherofan Follow
OMG??
#HI MR INVINCIBLE SIR #I SWEAR ALL MY A/B/O FICS WERE WRITTEN OUT OF LOVE
🌙 artemislover Follow
Can't believe I have to say this, but can you guys please stop making Omni-Man x Immortal theories?!?!
Ik you think the idea of them having been romantically involved is funny, but c'mon, people
It is true that there should be more openly queer superheroes, but the fact that there are people who genuinely believe they fucked is wild...
Besides, we have to stop following the lives of superheroes that closely. They deserve to get some privacy too! They're still people
Also, didn't Omni-Man once mention his wife?? And son?? Shipping him w a man when he's clearly straight and in an established relationship is stupid
🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow
These are all great points but they've definitely fucked
🌙 artemislover Follow
INVINCIBLE?????
🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow
Godddddd. My parents just do not know what privacy is, PLEASE STOP HAVING SEX WHEN I MIGHT BE HOME... please you're killing me
🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow
Wait, shit, wrong blog...
🌭 hotdog Follow
shocking revelation: invincible has parents
🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow
??? Of course I have parents. Where'd you think I came from?
🌭 hotdog Follow
Honestly i thought you were from mars
🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow
from MARS????
#i'm not martian??? i don't even look martian #do i look martian?
💃 thedancingquinn Follow
ATOM EVE LIKES MY FAVORITE BAND????
🚫 ohgodpleaseno Follow
really? How do you know?
💃 thedancingquinn Follow
Okay quick storytime
My friends and I wanted to go to see this band live for a LONG time, so we saved up money for years until we could finally afford it, right?
Well, the day we finally get to see them live, I look up and I see Atom Eve, just. Flying there. Above the crowd
She was singing, apparently very loudly and she looked like she was having sm fun. She saw me and waved!!! Atom Eve!!!! Waved at me!!!!!!!
🧬 atomevesss☑️☑️ Follow
:)
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WAIT R YOU THE ACTUAL ATOM EVE
🧬 atomevesss Follow
Yeah. Check my Insta, there's a link to this blog!
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AFKFHFHFHFJDJDJDJDDJDHFHSUEUEJEJ
#ATOM EVE TALKED TO ME!!!!!!
🤖 officialrobot Follow
Today, Monster Girl told me to download this app and create a blog — I did not think it was necessary, but she insisted.
I decided to listen to her. She was very persuasive.
I will be sharing things about my day, as she has told me to do. Expect to hear from me after this.
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you really think we're gonna believe you're the real Robot?? C'mon.
‼️ notafurryyet Follow
Dude, RP exists. Let people live their lives in peace
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This is so funny
‼️ notafurryyet Follow
That's... The real monster girl. Replying to a fake Robot post...
Dude I think he's real
🎉 partyshitter Follow
The new Guardians are a fucking shit show. Are we seriously meant to believe they're going to protect us? Really??
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Oh Id like to see YOU almost get killed every single fucking day without one fucking break only for asholes like you to shit on us like that. We almost die every single day!!! Were the ones geting our hands dirty not you
🤖 officialrobot Follow
I'd* assholes* We're*
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Your supposed to be with me in this one
🤖 officialrobot Follow
You're*
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The Immortal kinda... 👀
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WHAT
💥 explosionsbaby Follow
I cant believe she cheated on me... what a bitch
🧬 atomevesss Follow
😐
☪️ somanykates Follow
We're going to have a fucking talk, Rex.
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Shit
🍐 shrinkshrek Follow
You had this one coming buddy
🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow
The fact that Miles Morales canonically reads JJK, though...
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INVINCIBLE LIKES MARVEL?? AND JJK???
🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow
Why is everyone always surprised when I like something? I don't get it
🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow
:(
🧬 atomevesss Follow
I cannot have just found out you're still alive through Tumblr...
🧬 atomevesss Follow
Seriously though. Are you okay now? I know you're not mentally, after the whole Chicago thing w your dad, but at least physically?
🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow
I'll survive, I guess
💔 thisishowtobeah Follow
INVINCIBLE?? It is such a relief to see you're still here after the whole Chicago ordeal Mr Invincible
📸 definitelyinsanebaby Follow
Yeah maybe don't remind him of that rn??
💔 thisishowtobeah Follow
OH SHIT I'M SO SORRY
#I AM SO SO SO SORRY #omg i hope you're doing good mr invincible :(((
#invincible#invincible series#invincible comic#mark grayson#atom eve#rex splode#kate cha#shrinking rae#robot invincible#monster girl#unreality#fake tumblr#fake social media#this is fun#avis' post
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@starsreminisce posted these comments on their blog:
And the last paragraph really stood out to me.
Something I've seen said by a certain side of the fandom is that a bonus chapter should not change the trajectory of what is in the actual book. I disagree with that because I look at the bonus chapters as a sneak peek of what's to come in future books (with this particular bonus following the pattern talked about in a post yesterday, with the resolution to the small story pointing us in the direction of Gwynriel), things that Sarah will at a later point expound on within the actual series even if they weren't initially clear to us without having read the bonus.
But say that's the truth, say the bonus chapters are only in line with that which we already know (which still works for Gwynriel because though the bonus hinted at Gwyn having a curiosity towards Az and him possibly having a bond with her, we do see bits of that in the actual book as well, there are scenes with her staring in his direction and scenes where he's staring in hers, where he shows admiration for her, where she's teasing him, where Nesta calls Az her new ribbon).
One of the big arguments is that it's extremely clear that Elain has no interest in Lucien, that it's been the case for multiple books. It's said Elain does not owe Lucien an explanation, that she does not owe him her time or attention.
So why not write an Elain bonus chapter in SF where she and Lucien have a conversation discussing how they don't want to explore their bond? According to E/riels there's no need for it in the first place since she's made herself clear but they have also claimed that she won't break the bond until we have her POV. Then wouldn't a bonus in Elain's POV before her book be the perfect place for something that's so obvious so that when she starts her own book "with Az", there's nothing standing in their way and the focus can be on their romance and the plot and not the emotional toll that her severing her bond with Lucien would take? If the Elucien bond is as much of a non issue as some claim it be be, then why not deal with it in an Elain Bonus Chapter? When her book starts, Sarah could even recap the events of the bonus for those who had missed it.
Elain thought back to that conversation she and Lucien shared shortly after Solstice. Where after Azriel's rejection, which had cut her deeply, she realized there was no place in her heart for anyone but Az even if she wasn't sure he still wanted her.
That would have actually be a perfect way for SJM to move us past the Elucien bond with very little in the way of feeling devastated on Lucien's behalf, where his heart is not being broken in real time within her romantic arc.
But the author didn't do that. She gave Az and FEYRE a POV. Feyre who already had 3 books and a novella and Elain with a total of 0.
We know Az doesn't think Lucien is good enough for Elain but we don't know if Elain agrees with that.
We know Az questioned the Cauldron because of his brothers and her sisters, that he hadn't thought of being with Elain beyond his sexual fantasies but we don't know where Elain stands on the whole "just wants one taste / why wasn't Az made my mate" debate.
We know Az thought of Elain as too trusting and hopeful but we've no clue whether Elain was really thinking anything of the sort.
We've got Feyre thinking back on how she made sure to keep her mouth shut on Elain not wearing Lucien's gloves, how had she put them on she would have never been pierced in the first place but we still don't know whether Elain's actions with the gloves actually line up with her thoughts.
If Sarah wanted to continue on with what is apparently so evident in the four books of buildup for E/riel there was nothing preventing her from finally giving us Elain's POV in SF and having her tell Lucien that there's no reason for him to hold out hope any longer.
The more likely explanation for why Elain wasn't given a bonus is because everything that E/riels and Az claim that is so very obvious regarding Elain's character might actually not be as obvious as they think.
If she's so happy in the NC, then why hide her thoughts?
If she's so in love with Az, that it's clear as day, then why hide her thoughts?
If she's so disinterested in Lucien, then why hide her thoughts?
If we're supposed to believe that Elain's choice is Az, that there is no competition and that it should not be a mystery to anyone at this point, then why has she been so reticent to put us into Elain's head?
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why everyone won’t shift.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.
“do you think everyone will shift?”
no.
“but if they really want they’ll eventually—“
no.
before you pick up your pitchforks & form an angry mob in the comments, hear me out.
first & foremost. what is a want ? a want is something you desire. but not every want is desired. for example, ive been thinking of getting a cat once i move out of my parents house. i want the animal & have the funds for it. when i dig deeper in my desire, i see all the vet trips, the having to feed it & take care of it & i realized that i don’t actually want the cat at the moment. im not ready to make that drastic of a change in my life. on the surface, id like one but i don’t want to take on the responsibility for taking care of a pet at the moment.
i like the idea of getting a cat (shifting) — but when the actual time comes to get a cat (actually shift), i don’t actually want a new pet at the moment (to create that big of a change because i am comfortable with my situation & not mentally prepared / mature enough).
i made a post about comfort already. what previously spoke about can tie into this.
if you don’t actually want something & just like fantasizing about it, that’s okay. but fantasy & imagination needs to be backed by intention. you need intention & effort put into your shifting attempts. ive seen so so many people say “i tried to shift” & all they do is say “i said one affirmation & rolled over & went to sleep & hoped i would wake up in my dr.”
you could say a million affirmations & hope you will wake up in your dr & not shift. you know why ? hope. it’s not hoping you will shift — it’s that internal knowing. it’s letting go fully of the comfort & all you know of this life to go to another & a lot of people don’t want to do that even if they say they do. again, they like the idea of shifting, but aren’t stopping to consider that you’re actually living it.
this isn’t a bad thing. if you actually have come to the conclusion that you don’t want to shift & are in the community — that’s okay. if you’re just interested in the science or content for the subject & that’s why you’ve stumbled across this blog, i don’t have an issue with that.
when i say not everyone will shift, i mean that not everyone wants to shift in the first place despite what they may say. what they want is an escape. time & time again i see comments on tiktok say “i want to get out of this reality”. that statement has nothing to do with wanting to shift — it’s wanting to get out of the situation you are in. you do not have to shift to get out of your current situation. if you live with family or are younger, it’s different, i understand.
if you’re someone who thinks “when i shift, ill be happy.” no no no. happiness comes from within you. while the 3d can bring you momentarily happiness, that only lasts so long. if you don’t have internal happiness & self love those feelings won’t last. shifting — in my option — can sometimes be putting a bandaid on a bigger issue & that’s loneliness & a yearning for another life. you can solve both of those right here at anytime.
lastly, shifting takes effort despite what you may think. “but such and such shifted without trying”. cool, that’s them. but have you ? if you’re reading this im going so safely assume at least a handful of you are saying “no” internally. when you want something you have to work for it. weather that be manifestation or putting yourself first. if you wake up & think “i didn’t shift” or “i hate this world it’s sucks” guess what ?? you’re focusing on the negative. what you pay attention to & give your energy to expands because you’re shifting awareness to it. you make up your thoughts & control them, thus affecting the 3d.
im not saying you can’t shift with negative mindsets or anything. im saying confidence helps a ton. how are you going to believe other people can shift when you can’t even extend that belief to yourself ? you’re making it much, much harder for yourself. doing healing work, finding the root cause of why you want to shift (for love, sense or belonging, etc.) & finding that here first, may alleviate the desperation to shift. when you have a sense of knowing, there’s nothing to be desperate about because whatever happens, you know the outcome already.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.
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Hi! This is my first ask so I’m sorry if this has been asked before! I recently found your page and I really love your thoughts on Nagito! So I wanted to ask how you feel about people saying that Nagito only likes Hajime for his hope? For me personally, I think that’s way off, as Nagito has said more than once that he loves Hajime for him and his hope! Not to be mean or anything but I do feel like people who say that just don’t like Komahina which is completely fine! But let’s not hide from the truth, you know? I hope that’s not too mean but it really does bother me when people say that. 
Awesome first ask if you ask me because I totally agree with you, don't worry it hasn't been asked before :)
I really despise when people say Nagito only likes Hajime for his hope. Nagito felt something special about Hajime and had an interest from the start. We have dialogue PROVING that what he feels for Hajime goes beyond status. I know people feel the need to undermine relationships if they dislike a ship or want to for their own ship, but Hajime and Nagito are so important to each other's story that it pisses me off when people do so. Like, heaven forbid a character have two meaningful relationships with other characters lmfao.
Nagito likes Hajime as a person as well as his hope. In his last free time event Nagito thinks Hajime is even more special because he bothered to spend time with "scum like him," which makes him believe Hajime certainly can create the most beautiful hope. It's crazy because komahina haters can be really extreme, from trying to say Nagito only likes his hope, saying Hajime was never reciprocal or wants him dead, and being boarder line ableist towards Nagito. People really need to learn you don't need a reason to dislike a ship, and you certainly don't need to make one up or start wars over it.
Nagito's warm feelings towards Hajime are so special to me. Nagito who's someone who thinks he isn't worthy of the ultimates attention, sees Hajime and is interested enough that he defies his regular behaviors. He goes out of his way to help him, get his attention, and try to make a good impression. It's so unbelievably sweet to me, it's implied to become romantic but it doesn't matter if you see it that way it's undeniable Nagito shows interest beyond status. Nagito cares about Hajime and feels a connection, even when his world falls apart and he's breaking down, he still cares for Hajime when he doesn't want to.
Komahina means a lot to me. There's so much going on with both of their characters and relationship, they are thematic foils who care for each other despite everything. They both feel tricked by each other at some point, but they still care for each other. Their relationship is messy but they never hated each other. They both can see things they hate about themselves in the other and learn to love the other while learning to love themselves.
Thanks for your ask, don't know if I went overboard in the rambling department with this one but that's the point of my entire blog so I'm sure it's alright <3
#anon thank you so much i was so sad and then i get to talk about komahina and nagito#komahina#hinakoma#hajime x nagito#hajime x komaeda#koma#nagito x hajime#sdr2 nagito komaeda#nagito dr2#hinata x nagito#nagito x hinata#komaeda nagito#dr nagito#sdr2 nagito#nagito komaeda#danganronpa nagito#nagito#dr2 hajime#hajime#hajime hinata#hinata hajime#hajime sdr2#dr2 hinata#dr2 nagito komaeda#dr2 komaeda#sdr2
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I'm just a little cum dump for my favorite big men. 🤪
𝕮𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞
𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗: Oh, oh lordy. I hope you know how many there is so far. Though, who exactly are your favorites? Apologies, this became something a little more.
𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖉: @kit-williams, @egrets-not-regrets, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sleepyfan-blog.
𝕬𝖈𝖐𝖓𝖔𝖜𝖑𝖊𝖉𝖌𝖊: This has some name and attribute spoilers of my created characters. Which also means these characters can change their… preferences.
TW // SMUT/NSFW, Overstimulation, Breeding, Marking/Biting, Mating Press, Tentacles, Cockbuldge, Cockwarming, Body Worship, Non/Dubcon, Shower/Water Sex, Massage, Size Difference, Pregnancy, Double Penetration, Bondage, Lactation, Corruption? Controlled Orgasm? Semi-Public, Scent Kink, Google Translate.
𝔸𝕕𝕖𝕡𝕥𝕦𝕤 ℂ𝕦𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕕𝕖𝕤:
Celsus(Shadow Keeper):
Celsus is a quiet one. In fact, most of these Custodes are. Though, Celsus usually gets to you first, staining your sensitive walls with his seed. He’ll groan like a phantom when he does, looking down at your overly sensitive form. His hands massaging your thighs as he angles you to where his cum pools above your folds. His cock still twitching inside of you.
“Throne, little one, let me cum inside of you once more.”
Atlas(Aquilan Shield):
Atlas is always around, it how you get double penetration sometimes. It’s also how you get pinned in semi-public places. Atlas preferably likes to take you alone, but when you call for him? He is there, ready to provide for you. Ready to stuff you so full of him, that his cum coats the inside of your thighs and drips from your hole; onto the dirty ground. You’ll have to completely rely on him to protect you, to take care of you and take you back home when you tap out.
“Shhhh, little one. You called for me, let me take care of you.”
Pythios(Dread Host):
Pythios wouldn’t hesitate to put you in your place and he won’t stop until you tell him to, or if you are too cock drunk on him, they have enough (a lot) of logic to stop. Though, when stuffing you, he’s a “little” messy. His cum creating a milky web between your thighs, folds and his cock, but he likes to clean you up afterwards whether by tongue or cloth. He also likes how exhausted you look by his cock that still rests inside of you, cockwarming you.
“You are stubborn, little one. Let me take care of that.”
Horos(Solor Watch):
Horos is the kind one, always watching from a distance, but when it’s his moment to stuff you he’s pulling you into a mating press. His form curling around you as both of your thighs are covered with his cum. Yet again, he doesn’t stop until you tap out. So the squelch of each thrust is audible around you when you whine and clench around him so deliciously.
“Please, little one, let me fill your needs.”
Sabinus(Emissary Imperatus):
Sabinus is the first one to know of your needs before you do and his brethren, he’s already providing for you. His cock inching between your cum coated folds with a squelch. Your hands gripping up at his shoulders, clawing, squeezing at him as you feel so full of him, so full of his seed. The sheets will smell like him, even after you wash them.
“Good little one. You are doing so well.”
𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕜 𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕝:
Ruslan:
Ruslan would put you in an angle and tie you up at his mercy to mate press you and nuzzle at your neck, loving your scent while he’s stuffing you over and over again. It felt oh so sinful of him, but he can’t stop. You smell so good, look so good with his cum staining your fluttering walls. He just has to fill you up, inhale your scent to make you all his all over again.
“You are my sin, Маленькой ангел(Little angel.)”
𝔼𝕞𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕣𝕤 ℂ𝕙𝕚𝕝𝕕𝕣𝕖𝕟:
Ambrosius:
Ambrosius is going to have you tied to the bed. He isn’t taking his chances when you left him with a note the first time you’ve met. You are staying and taking his cock, his seed. He’ll continue to paint your walls until you are babbling at him, mewling at him. Unable to say anything as he takes in the scene before him with his eyes. His cum continuously leaking down his cock from your hole and onto his balls.
“Mmmm, I’m going to love to paint, to fill you, petite rose(little rose.)”
𝕊𝕡𝕒𝕔𝕖 𝕎𝕠𝕝𝕧𝕖𝕤:
Lycus:
Lycus loves to curl around you and put you up into a mating press. Biting and nipping at you while driving his cock through your slick folds at an eager pace. Loving the feeling of his cum squelching around his cock while he breeds you. He can’t help, but latch onto your shoulder every time he pumps your womb full of his future pups.
“Throne, you tease me with that fertile hole of yours, Little wolf.”
𝔹𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕝𝕤:
Amadeus:
Amadeus is a little tricky one, but every once in a blood moon he has you stuffed to the brim with his cum. His long life of not having to rail his little bonded hitting him like The Red Thirst. He’ll put you in a mating press and bite into your shoulder, the wicked combo making his eyes flutter and his cock twitch to fill you up the upteenth time this… day? Week?
“Vita mea(My life), please, stay still. I only wish to bring you my pleasure upon you.”
𝕀𝕣𝕠𝕟 ℍ𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕤:
Sviatoslav:
Sviatoslav will stuff you so good you won’t remember what the hell happened before he railed you. You’ll be cockdrunk and cockwarmed through his process of stuffing you and he knows all the best way to make you cum more than him. Don’t try to get him to stuff you either, he’s the one controlling this, alright?
“Stop fighting me, Маленький целитель.(little healer).”
𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕝𝕕 𝔼𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤:
Spartak:
Spartak can be brutal if he wants to be. Especially when you run away from him. He’ll overstimulate you so badly with his cock you don’t even know what world you were in, you keep fading in and out. Your tears of pleasure blurring your vision. Not to mention that the nest is a mess. Covered in his semen, including you. You’re covered, filled with his seed, his scent. So, if you go off running on him again they will know who you belong to and you won’t get away so easily from him.
“Stop running away from me, Маленький мир(little world.)”
𝔻𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕙 𝔾𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕕:
Blasius:
Blasius loves to breed you. He wants to see you swollen, round, and pregnant with his seed after each round he puts you through. He’ll desperately try and keep you stuffed by shoving putting his tentacles in your fertile hole or even angling you downwards in order to keep his seed inside of you, and if some leaks out? No matter, he still has plenty more to give you.
“Just one more little mate, just one more, you can do it.”
𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝔹𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕣𝕤:
Rasul & Zazir:
Rasul & Zazir are always together and they will worship you together. Massaging your sensitive skin, your chest, your wet folds. Have their lips on you at all times. Nibbling and sucking on those breasts of yours, hoping to gain your essence from them and from your generous core they have stained with their endless corruption.
“Let’s us worship you, little deity. You have done so much already, relax.”
𝕊𝕒𝕝𝕒𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕤:
Dorvenos:
Dorvenos will stuff you upon order, upon asking him. Will keep thrusting up inside of you until the folds of your core a milky. Until you tell him to stop, but he will encourage you to take more of his seed. You just look so beautiful with his cum staining your overly sensitive skin. So radiant with the bulge of his cock stuffing you more than his own cum.
“Moje Zlato(My gold), you’re stuffed full of me, think you can handle another one?”
𝕄𝕦𝕝𝕥𝕚:
Hydra(Alpha Legion):
Hydra a tricky one too, more so on the trickster side of himself. He’ll mate press, bite, cockwarm and suck on those tiddys of yours, but he can unpredictable about it. Not so much so that he is stuffing your pretty little hole with his cock, just the random sensations and pace of his are wild on you. It feels like he’s needy, but at the same time it feels controlled. Well… your orgasms are, not so much of his.
Man is not talking, he’s too busy biting you at random times.
Asclepius(Alpha Legion):
Sweet Asclepius is suckling on your breasts and flicking the nubs with his tongue. Hoping to get a drink from them as he deeply rails against you. His cum pooling around your *ss. His eyes fluttering closed as he gets pussydrunk on you. He won’t stop however, but it definitely makes you feel like you ate a full course meal.
“Little serpent, rest. Let me do all the work for you.”
Leviathan(Alpha Legion):
Leviathan can be feral when it comes to stuffing you full with his cum. Especially in the shower or any body of water. He loves how his cum mixes with the water and dribbles down your leg. How his cum moves around your walls because his cock is too much for you, but he still stuffs you, breeds you like he’s in his damn element, gaining energy from the water.
Doesn’t speak either, but he’s definitely hissing, groaning and moaning in your ear.
Solor(Gray Knight):
Solor is on it. He never misses an opportunity to rail you when he can. To have you so full of his cum that you look pregnant before you even are actually pregnant. Surprisingly he is not messy about it, he somehow keeps the sticky mess controlled, but you are cumming with him each time he cums. This Gray Knight is passionatly and keenly breeding you to his home planet Titan.
“Throne, you are my grace, little maiden.”
Xerxes(Ultramarine):
Xerxes is also on it. One kinky Ultramarine. Would take you anywhere besides public. He has enough decency to know some boundaries. Though, without public eye he is breeding you at every angle and he gets to stuff you? Wave your vacation leave goodbye! You put him in a rut-like position where he overstimulates you until you are limp in his arms and he still uses you as a fleshlight. Every place you fuck is clearly left with a mess. You are so lucky he’s an Ultramarine.
“Take it, Sargent. Yes, there we go, such a good girl~”
#smut headcanons#warhammer 40k#space marine husbandry sentience#fanfiction#x reader#reader insert#adeptus astartes x reader#space marine x reader#adeptus custodes x reader#oc: celsus#oc: atlas#oc: pythios#oc: horos#oc: sabinus#oc: ruslan#oc: ambrosius#oc: lycus#oc: amadeus#oc: sviatoslav#oc: spartak#oc: blasius#oc: rasul#oc: zazir#oc: dorvenos#oc: hydra#oc: asclepius#oc: leviathan#oc: solor#oc: xerxes#tw: smut
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blaseball in the tumblr universe, part 4
(part 3 might be needed for context)
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anonymous asked:
so what exactly did you think was going to happen when you made your tumblr username Official Jessica Telephone?
☎️ official-jessica-telephone
idk man i thought maybe before sending an ask, which you have to click on my profile to do, people would see my header that says "not jessica telephone" in all caps. maybe they'd even read my bio that says i'm a 17 year old transmasc named michael living in the uk.
#telephone calls #please please please it is not that hard.
620 notes
🦞 marketplace-shellfish 🔁
👛 antique-handbags Follow
Working in ILB offices is so fun. Why did my boss just ask me who Donald Trump is.
👛 antique-handbags
Wrong blog but too late to delete now :P
🦞 marketplace-shellfish
Wait. So Parker IIIII knows who Ronald Reagan is, but not Donald Trump?
👛 antique-handbags
The Game Band (and me and some others, but mostly TGB) give Commish school lessons on off hours. They've only made it to around the 80s or 90s in history in the eleven-ish years he's been around. I usually do English and Math with him so IDK what's going on there.
🦞 marketplace-shellfish
Amazing. What the fuck
#I hope that's not supposed to be confidential #Would rather not get fired #<- Prev honestly I don't think anyone but maybe your coworkers could figure out who you are? #You're pretty good at not sharing personal details outside of this post #Or maybe I've missed a couple of posts idk
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anonymous asked:
You're one to get up on a soapbox about respecting celebrities. You literally named yourself after Mike Townsend.
☎️ official-jessica-telephone
i literally named myself after michael the distortion tma
#telephone calls #hitting my head against the wall #also i hate being called mike. lmao #canceling my parents for naming my sister after my grandmother
499 notes
🐶 catgirlfirefighter 🔁
🌼 buildmeupbuttercup Follow
🐶 catgirlfirefighter
what if this was my last straw
21,573 notes
☕️ eyesinthedark11
im sorry but the reader is so funny to me. giant eyeball that comes outta nowhere and says "your team is gonna suck absolute shit this season. here's a card and a riddle. fuck you" and then the coin is so clearly trying to get this guy away from blaseball but it doesn't care. comes every earlsiesta and is like "your team has a chance of sucking so bad it hurts. over under under over" and then LEAVES. do we think the coin and the reader are divorced
#i am NOT maintagging this shit
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#i did not check math at all so if the reader would have appeared later than 11 years after pvrker came around pls ignore that#blaseball#fake tumblr#fake tumblr dash#i have several more of these in my drafts
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I think I am neurodivergent.
There is no official diganosis and at this stage in my life I probably won't look for one. But in recent years I've started to think I probably am one. I even thought about asking my therapist about this, just before she released me a couple years ago. But it just felt like I was making things up at the moment. Besides, it is pretty stupid for a mental health specialist to self-diagnose, so that's why I am not saying this with complete certainty.
Huh, this is one of those posts I should be writing in Spanish.
Anyway, why am I randomly posting this in my Sim blog? Well, because I am exhausted. I've spent the last two months carrying a huge figurative boulder on my shoulders and just pretending (or masking) non stop. If you met me in person, the most likely impression you would have of me is that I am a very calm, warm and sweet person, who has her shit together, is the voice of reason, a great listener, someone who is eager to come up with solutions to any problem. Someone who has control over her emotions, who likes "normal" everyday stuff. People look up to me and I am constantly been asked for support, both in my professional and personal life. I am so nice and adaptable, that I was able to practically live in a hospital for over 5 weeks, just leaving it to go to work.
However, deep inside I am a very anxious woman, who is triggered by thoughts of death, disease (of loved ones), doctors and hospitals. I need to have my time to be alone. I prefer (almost need) to sleep in a very dark room and listening to movie or videogame podcasts. I've always been into videogames and animated shows, and I tend to obsess about those topics. I used to write a lot of fanfiction and loved it, but have never told a soul because I am so embarrased by it. I prefer to be alone, I hate to make and answer phone calls and when I get a notification on Whatsapp I really need to take a moment to even read the message (and it is even worse if it's a voice message). I am socially awkward in situations that are not related to work. I used to stimm a lot when I was a child, and I still do it when I am stressed. I was a picky eater. I used to be the lonely child who preferred to be by herself and only made friends because my parents were worried. I do not watch series on Netflix, but I can browse Youtube for hours and watch Lets Plays and documentaries about shows. I've always wanted to share my nerd tendencies, but I can't, because I am a woman in her forties, and my family and social circle look down on that stuff. So I constantly pretend and only when I am alone at night I can browse and look at the stuff I like, which is honestly very innocent, but I feel like I have to hide it.
And these last weeks I have had to constantly hide myself in my "social" and "professional" self. And I am exhausted. I feel like my heart is heavy. And it is even affecting my work performance.
So I come to my nerdy spot on the Internet to vent. To the one place in which I can sort of be myself and hope like someone might read this and understand.
*Reads Post* Wow, this is why I mostly lurk. I sound like a 15 year old and my urge to pretend that everything is fine with me is screaming that I do not post this. 😥
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Please note
I rolled out of bed to type this because it was weighing on me a bit.
I feel the need to explain this in depth but I really shouldn't have to so I'll toss a tl;dr at the end, I just feel like where I'm coming from is useful or something? I'm not sure.
I just wanted to say that over the time I've run this blog there have been some compliments I felt uneasy about. At the time I often accepted them; Even viewed them as positive things even if something felt off. But dwelling on why they felt off gave me plenty of reason to make this post.
I hold no negative feelings towards the people who offered these compliments because in each case it's been very obvious where they were coming from. Perhaps I'm too nice, but I don't feel negativity about it.
But some people seem to misunderstand what "any pronouns" means or how it interacts with their views of who they are speaking toward.
I have had tags slapped on my pics that amount to things like "#hnnnnnng I love girls/women" as they have misconstrued my acceptance of any pronouns to mean I accept others gendering me for themselves.
I do not.
I have had many people compliment and sext over my "girlcock" or "girlmusk".
I do not have these things.
I am nonbinary, I am agender, I have some fluidity in there but it's constantly bouncing between miasmas of gender rather than along the traditional binary, I am trans and happy about that- it hasn't been a fact I understood for long but I've enjoyed understanding myself more as a person than as a singular gender.
I have a cock, not a girlcock, to put it bluntly.
To put it more clearly, I feel "at home" in so many different terms- so many different titles and pronouns- because I feel myself within them. If someone calls me mistress or miss or sir or whatever I feel myself in that because all of gender feels like a part of my blurry agender identity. Effectively they are calling me by parts of my home or something poetic- I rolled out of bed for this.
But when someone points at me and declares me one thing, calling me a woman in an apparent attempt to show appreciation towards the varied body types that exist within the gender- to show respect towards trans women by what? Misgendering a nonbinary person? It feels like someone found me hot and wanted to label me so they could maintain their preferred sexual identity or something but that's an assumption and not my internal world to explore.
Gendering my body parts as if my acceptance of pronouns extends towards deciding how to label my body for me is the real kicker that has dug at me over time.
At first I took girlcock to be a rather sizeable compliment as it felt divergent from my past identity. People were taking an effort to not see me as simply a man, so that must mean we're going the right direction- I thought.
But as time has sat on it it's just remained uncomfortable and I've long since figured out why.
Pointing at me, a nonbinary agender trans person, and saying "Girl-bodypart" is still incorrect. It's still deciding for me and frankly it feels really weird being in such happy trans circles but still occasionally hearing that I'm a hot transfemme with a hot girlcock when that's not what I am. You can clearly see that's not what I am- it's in my damn name if you needed a reminder.
*sigh* I'm not even actually mad about it, I'm mildly upset I guess, but more in a disappointed and kind of saddened way.
In practice it's just made these "compliments" feel like someone saying you're the coolest ever- at the exact moment you step in a puddle in bare socks. You sure as hell don't feel cool right now and this just feels fucking off and will continue to for a while now, thanks.
TL;DR I am nonbinary and agender and trans and accept any pronouns, this does not mean you can decide I am a woman for the sake of praising me as a hot woman, this also does not mean you can gender my body for the same purpose- I will softly remind you that I do not accept others complimenting my "girlcock" as I do not have one. Thank you.
I guess in conclusion, girlcock fucking rules, trans people fucking rule, I am nonbinary and not a girl and do not have a girlcock, mine's just a cock, I'm going back to bed and love you all 💜
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Hey Goldy! How are you? This is just super random, but someone shared a clip of Rosebowl Jikook, and can I just say how surreal it still feels that it actually happened? People were scrambling to explain that it was completely platonic, that it was an edit, that JK didn't suck JM's ear, that it was completely normal 🙄
I've heard about a certain clip where you could see a string of saliva, and yes, I saw it. Apparently, the big screen during the concert show you front and center when that happened and how you could literally see the string of saliva from JK's mouth to JM's ear. You could even see the sucking movement.
Imagine if Jikook have partners? Imagine seeing that and being okay w/ it?? And mind you, he did after towards the end of the concert, when they're sweaty and all.
People left and right, 24/7 camping on Jikook accounts writing long-ass essays and novels to say Jikook hate each other or whatever. You don't see us camping out on say tkk/yoonmin accounts to prove they're not real, don't you? I mean, sure, we correct misinformation when you're posting lies or manipulated clips for your non-existent ships (tkk/yoonmin/etc).
Even the companion system in the military still haunts these people until now. Suddenly, everyone is a fucking expert on Korean military?? If it was any other ship, I'm pretty sure we won't be hearing a thesis on why they're not together right now, how they're doing their things away from each other? Like, what happened to critical thinking and common sense? You'd think if Jimin and Jungkook didn't want to do their enlistment together, they wouldn't go through those damn hoops, including selecting the harshest division. They'd just do what everyone else did 😩
Do you think these uncultured and unloved people (haters/antis/toxic solos/tkkrs etc) would lose their mind even more once the Jikook travel show drops? Hope it drops this June 😭
If Jikook have partners they are the most non territorial non concerned non bothered group of people on the planet cos of if Jimin or Jungkook were mine I would have them quit their careers 😩
Like you can't be stressing me out with the constant dating rumors talking bout we just friends but you coming home every night with a hickey embarrassing me on the internet begging for a man's attention a man who looks like this by the way
Like where do I even begin to compete his ass is fatter than mine😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩
You just friends but you out here having panick attacks when he puts you on voice mail
Boy didn't even eat the dinner I made him cos he's out there cooking for another man
He doesn't laugh at my jokes the way he does his and his jokes are not even funny 😤
In his spare time he's watching vlives of him with his fans and I swear I heard him call me Jimin one time when we were making love
I need a divorce. This is not working out
It's either me or him 😩
Mother fucker chose him 😩
I don't want to over sell the travel blog I'm very very curious about it but I know it won't disappoint.
And the way Jungkook had to come out here and tell us about the one moment makes it feel all the more sus to me
Feels like a preemptive strive so fans don't make a big deal out of them sharing a bed but baby boy WE WILL
It's jikook they send antis with into a frenzy with the barest minimum 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭
I won't expect anything less from those numbnuts
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