On Friday my English teacher said that using he/her instead of their when writing was the grammatically correct way of writing, when it's not-

They/them pronouns are used in writing when you are referring to multiple people, someone who you don't know the gender of, or someone who uses those pronouns.

My teacher said that when you don't know their gender, you use 'he/her' instead of their or whatever. That is not the correct way of writing, and has been proven that.

It's fucking stupid to use a slash of just two pronouns, pretending like others don't fucking exist.

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Like, even if there's good reason or whatever I'm just.... So tired. It feels like all my life I've been this tacit omission or exclusive disclusion and at this point I kinda just don't... Idk, like people i guess?

I just don't really like people anymore...

the one thing that makes the disclusion of debut so bizarre is the inclusion of dbm that is a relative deep cut from an album she hasn't rerecorded yet i'm the opposite of complaining it might be my favorite part of the setlist but it is odd

me, making a post to allow myself to feel included: this is good! yes

me, 2 minutes later reading over it: this is Not Good this is Not Good this is Not Good this is Not Good thi

Valentine’s is proving to be more annoying than usual this year thanks to the Harringr*ve Love week. I wish Ao3 had a disclusion option so you could filter out unwanted elements. I don’t want to spend Valentine’s reading about Steve being in love with the asshole who beat his face into a bloody pulp.

Hi! So Ive seen alot of discourse (cause of the survey?) & I just want to offer a hug or something. This can be super stressful, esp when its (as far as I can tell) based on a misunderstanding. I hope things calm down & y'all will be able to relax some. tbh i was curious about the survey & what was going on, so i took it. it was geared to answering acespec qs for research, but is ttly not disclusive of aros or arospec. i actually feel a little better for having done the survey. it was cathartic.

I’m glad for that at least. Fear is like a wildfire and I get it. Fire (and fear really) is so much more dangerous and a much quicker motivater than a wall of text that’s basically saying hey, tie your shoes people are tripping over them. And I do see why some people feel ignored if an l an ask is deleted that is basically yelling fire without a where and I can’t just metaphorically pull an alarm because it’s been shown people will remember the fear more than then the it’s all clear, or like oh sorry this exit sign fell no one was trapped, it’s fixed now. That “fix” is generally so useless emotionally. It’s taken hours that I’m able to hopefully say words that mean something that can hopefully be stuff people can build on. Even if they are very metaphorical and I always worry the type of thing only I find useful.

Can't believe I have to say this again -

Don't harass me for having different opinions than you

And don't harass me for blocking someone to avoid conflict

If you have an opinion, no matter how factually based, if it pisses me off I will block you so we can avoid conflict and avoid me being stressed about it

And I'm sorry if that offends someone, but it's me just trying to manage the way I handle my anger, unlike in real life where I just bust out

And don't message me stuff like 'school doesn't suck, you swallow' or an entire paragraph explaining why I'm wrong about my grammar, my English teacher does that enough to me everyday

Expect to be blocked if you attempt to engage with me about my post on my English teacher's grammar by saying I am wrong, or I am dumb for blocking those who called me wrong

I don't disagree that 'she or he' is a grammatically correct way of saying it, but 'they' and 'he' aren't incorrect themselves either. All are gender neutral, despite a standing point of 'he/she' being annoying with the slash, 's/he' being a completely awful way of doing it, and 'he or she' being disclusive to those who aren't a he or she.

'They' is a better, and correct way of doing it, in my honest opinion. I am fine if you have a separate opinion, just don't use it as an excuse to harass me. And don't say I am invalid for using my blog as a place to share my opinions or vent, I am tired of those messages as well

sometimes you have to lie to find the truth (ch. 1)

Summary: Deceit's at his limit. They never listen, do they? Even when all he wants is just to help Thomas. Why won't they ever believe him? He decides to duck out, and see how they like it when he's gone.

Ships: LAMP, past Anxceit

Warnings: mentions of past abuse, sympathetic Deceit

AO3

A/N: That title’s so long, I’m sorry, I’ll either find a way to abbreviate it or change it before next chapter. Also, this was supposed to be a character study, but somehow turned into A Thing. A real, proper Thing, and this always happens. ALSO, I mayyy have overused italics, what with all the Deceit lies, so sorry about that.

Deceit had never been… well, liked by anyone before. (Well, not exactly, but it’s been a long time, and it’s complicated..) The other Dark Sides disliked but respected him, since they knew not to get on his bad side. Thomas knew Deceit was a necessary part of him, and begrudgingly accepted him. Roman agreed with him on several levels, not to mention their shared love of being Extra, but Deceit had used Roman, and the fanciful side resented him for it. Logan understood the need to coexist with Deceit, even if he didn’t like the way Deceit talked to Patton, while Virgil still kept a close eye on him, and Patton, on the other hand, didn’t seem to know what to make of him.

To add insult to injury, after the silly little video they’d done with the puppets where they sang a song about feelings, and under Thomas’ radar, the four so-called “Light Sides” appeared to have entered into a four-way romantic relationship. (Frankly, Deceit couldn’t see how Roman and Logan could maintain a relationship, not after all of their constant conflicts, but perhaps now, they could… take out their anger another way. Wink.)

Apparently, they’d decided to keep the relationship a secret from Thomas, although it hadn’t exactly been subtle when Patton had called Roman “the first most handsome prince,” and he’d seen Virgil scowling his way whenever he flirted with Roman. Sure, at first it had all been an act to get Roman to trust him so Deceit could use him, but after a while… maybe he’d begun to mean it. It had stung when none of them had taken him seriously, and he’d begun to torture Virgil with the tease of letting slip about their little “shared history.” (Not to mention that he may have been jealous of Virgil for being the only Dark-Side-turned-Light, the one they all accepted… the one they all loved.)

Deceit almost couldn’t believe that none of them could see that he hadn’t even been arguing for the side of lying until Roman had brought it up. Truly all he’d wanted to accomplish was for Thomas to get to go to the opportunity of a lifetime, but since they were all too blind to see it, Thomas had attended the wedding instead.

After trying and failing so many times to get them to see things from his perspective, Deceit had given up. If nobody wanted him there, then he didn’t have to be there–let Thomas flounder every time he needed to tell a little white lie.

He retreated to his room, collapsing on his bed, the yellow canopy curtains fluttering, to wait until the others panicked and showed up in his dimension.

It took only four days before Deceit sensed the presence of several someones in the living room downstairs, although it felt like a much shorter length of time. He pasted on the most wicked of smiles, then took care to appear right behind Patton.

The moral side screamed, and everyone looked at him, only to see the source of his distress.

“Deceit,” growled Virgil.

“How… nice to see you all here. I wasn’t expecting you.” His smile grew more sinister.

“What did you do?” inquired Logan, his ever-familiar frown present on his face.

“Why, I didn’t decide to duck out, since you all clearly wanted me there.” Deceit raised an eyebrow.

Thomas cleared his throat. “I know it may not have seemed like it, and we may not treat you the best–” he glared at Virgil “–but you are an important part of me, as much as I might’ve loathed admitting it at first.” He stared at Virgil until the emo side noticed. “Say you’re sorry,” he muttered.

“I’m sorry,” Virgil parroted, completely deadpan and clearly not sorry in the slightest, but Thomas seemed content with just that.

“So, what? You haven’t come to get me to come back?” This had been Deceit’s plan all along, but even so, he was skeptical that he’d be able to pull it off this smoothly in its entirety.

“Well, yeah.” Roman seemed surprised. “Thomas needs you.”

“Does he now.” Deceit was unimpressed. “And what could make me want to come back?”

The other sides froze for a moment, looking around guiltily as they avoided each other’s eyes.

“Well,” Patton began. “We can start by trying to see your side of the issue instead of just immediately shooting you down like we always do.” He almost sounded… bitter, which was unusual for Patton, and it looked like he was trying a little too hard to avoid looking at any one person. How odd.

“That isn’t a good start,” Deceit replied. “But I don’t think there’s more you could do.”

“I’m willing to forgive you for using me like that if you apologize and mean it,” spoke up Roman.

Deceit sighed, a long, heavy exhale. “I…” I’m not sorry. No, that was wrong, he did mean it. “I’m sorry.” He forced the words to come out of his mouth the way he intended, even if that meant they came out rather strangled. Gaining their trust was very important right now.

Everyone was surprised, and for good reason. They knew it must’ve been a big deal if he stopped speaking in lies. Patton tilted his head like a confused puppy. Virgil’s jaw practically hung open. Roman looked sort of... touched, his eyes shining and one hand over his heart.

“Thank you. ...I forgive you.” The way he smiled at Deceit was so genuine, so pure, and he suddenly yearned for more of the wholesome energy the creative side radiated. Against his will, he smiled a soft smile of his own, which only seemed to further shock his guests.

Setting his expression back to normal, Deceit addressed the room once more. “What couldn’t all of you do to make me feel more like a welcome part of the group? Hmmm?” He looked from Logan to Virgil and then back to Logan, waiting for one of the two to open his mouth.

Logan caved first. “Be aware that, while I am not fully inclined to trust you–yet–I am not disinclined to hear you out.” He cleared his throat, fidgeting uncomfortably with the band of his watch.

“Not appreciated.” The grin was back, and now Deceit stared unrelentingly at Virgil.

“I don’t like you,” Virgil stated flatly, arms crossed.

Patton gasped. “Virgil Sanders, you take that back! We do not stan disclusion in this Sanders household.”

“We had a rather rocky past.” He glared at the ground between Deceit’s feet, not willing to look the other side in the face. His voice grew in volume and intensity as he went on. “You hated me, I hated you. You mistreated and abused me. Do you all really think he’s changed? That he’s capable of change? He’s the literal embodiment of a lie! You don’t even know his name!”

“Damien!” Deceit found himself shouting. Virgil halted in his tirade, and all eyes in the room were on Deceit. “My name is Damien.” It was strange to say it, even stranger to hear it out loud. He hadn’t used it in years, not since they were young, not since he and Virgil had been on good terms–not since someone had seen him as more than just Deceit.

“Damien, huh?” Thomas tried out the name.

“Rather regal, isn’t it?” Roman asked. “It suits you,” he added after a pause.

“It’s an interesting name,” Logan inputted.

“Ooh, I really like it!” exclaimed Patton. “It’s so… you!”

Deceit–no, Damien–looked around at the others in the room with a touch of awe at how quick they were to accept him once he’d simply given them his name.

He turned back to Virgil. “Now they don’t know my name and I’m not feeling vulnerable. Are you happy yet?”

Virgil was dumbfounded. “I didn’t expect you to actually tell them,” he pondered slowly. “The Deceit I know certainly wouldn’t have.”

“And I’m clearly the Deceit you knew.”

“Touché.” Virgil allowed the smallest of smiles to flicker across his face, gone as soon as it appeared, and Damien felt a small surge of triumph–he’d managed to convince Virgil, at least partially, that he’d changed.

“Are we finished?” Logan queried. He received nods and murmurs of agreement all around. Quickly, he referenced a vocab card before sinking out. “Hasta la vista.” Virgil groaned, to which Logan stuck his tongue out.

“Iiiii’m afraid I must be on my way as well, I’ve got content to create.” Roman couldn’t help but sing the first part of his statement, and the loving way Patton gazed at Roman as he sank down was all too apparent to Damien.

“I gotta go too! Although, kiddos, we’re gonna need to talk later about that ‘abuse’ thing.” Patton gave a stern nod, then left as well.

“Glad to have you back, buddy.” Thomas smiled at Damien on his way down.

That left Virgil alone with Damien.

“What, are you trying to convert to a Light Side?” Virgil snorted. “Listen, I don’t know how I did it.”

A stiff silence settled over the room. Virgil picked at a loose thread on his sleeve, and Damien suspected it was only to provide Virgil with a reason not to meet his eyes.

“Why aren’t you still here?” The anxious side must want something from him; why else would he stay? They certainly weren’t on a friend level with each other yet.

“Why?”

Damien blinked. “Why what?”

“Why are you trying to redeem yourself, and why now?” Virgil’s hands had formed fists. “Why did you change now?”

Ah. Damien understood–a part of Virgil wished they’d had a healthy relationship, as much as he’d deny it.

“I was a Dark Side then–technically I still am. I really did love you at the time, since I know you were wondering about that. It wasn’t right for me to treat you the way I did, I know that now, but then, that was all I knew. I’d never had a good relationship with any of the Dark Sides. But now, I saw how you treat each other, and at some point, I realized that how I treated you wasn’t the only way.”

Virgil was looking at him, violet eyes big, searching for something.

“I’m sorry,” Damien said for the second time that day. Lying was so deeply ingrained in his very being that he often experienced extreme discomfort and difficulty saying what he meant (instead of saying things backward) for extended periods of time. He’d found that the longer he spent around the Light Sides, the longer the duration would be, but still, he lacked the stamina to keep it up much longer. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, not fully, but I hope… eventually… we might be friends again.” Damien held out a hand to Virgil, and the other took it tentatively. They shook on it, then let go. Virgil began to sink down, and Damien stepped closer to whisper in his ear.

“I don’t still love you.”

Purple eyes widened, but Virgil made no move to rise back up, and Damien retreated back to his bedroom once more.

i just started a second even better health aide job since the one i ran away from in the middle of the night with d****** this past june and started that whole misadventure now because i am patient and good things come to those who wait yea you could say my lifes back on track i am working up to 30hrs a week at a professional job which pays me above min wage with people who are genuine i have a valentines date and a rave accomplice who exalts me and knows im not one to exploit that exaltion i am working with my friends who my parents said dont get attached to cos those you meet your first week of college will probably hate eachother by the fifth week but theres a good group dynamic i believe and to work to find a place in our collegetown with them this may is something everyone wants im unsure why sam seems unlikely to join now i hope he has his own reasons which i respect always but would be very sad if it was only because he imagined some sort of disclusion from the group

A take on Jeremy Voulo and Kanye West

Following the Voulos on social media this past week, has been a weird twilight zone experience. We now live in a world where Jeremy attends the same seminary that Kanye’s pastor teaches at. With this there have been many posts from Jeremy about Kanye. Watching Jeremy’s recent live video showed a hypocrisy that is all to familiar to those of us who follow and study fundamentalist Christians. Jeremy was talking about Kanye’s regeneration in Christ in which the past is gone, his past sin is gone and he was created anew in the light of Christ. That we should be careful not to cast the first stone or judge him on his journey. This is the same man who attends a seminary with multiple sexual assault cases from faculty towards women. Jeremy was an initial signer in a document that was deifinitively disclusive for women and lgtbq members of Christianity. For someone so quick to tell people to give Kanye a chance, he certainly seems to struggle giving women and members of the grsm community that same chance. Aside from this, my post is more about a concern I see and feel very personally to this topic. Kanye and I have something in common, we have the same diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder consumes every aspect of daily life. For those unaware, bipolar disorder is a chemical imbalance in your brain and a defect in some neurons transmitting information to each other. There are many types of bipolar disorder, but generally bipolar disorder is marked by periods of mania and depression. These episodes can last days with cyclothemia or months to years. Bipolar disorder can also be marked with hallucinations, delusions of grandeur, a lack of self control and a propensity towards risky behaviors such as excessive spending, hypersexuality or drug use. Many medications used to treat bipolar disorder have extremely devastating side effects that make people less likely to consistently take their medication. I bring this up because of the delusions of grandeur like I mentioned above. Sometimes these take the shape of thinking you have powers or are invincible, I myself thought I could fly and tried to jump out a window, but was luckily caught. Often times these delusions present with religion. Sometimes is is extreme and they believe they are a prophet or demon... they may have had visions to start a new church or a revelation of religion and try to start a splinter group. Sometimes this is less intense and people become extremely religious because the rituals and traditions are therapeutic. Many people reinvent their whole lives during these episodes and donate all their money to the church and end up homeless. There have been many studies showing that prayer and religious imagery effect the same pleasure centers of the brain that drugs do. I am concerned that Kanye is having an episode. There is nothing wrong with religion, but when it becomes obsessive and compulsive it is not a religion it is a drug. I myself had a few religious delusions from believing I was the reincarnate of the Virgin Mary to trying to start my own church. When you come out of these episodes it is devastating. There is a lot of concerning behavior from Kanye that points towards an a series of episodes. I think it is important to spread awareness about symptoms of bipolar disorder and other mood or schizoactive disorders. Often times these symptoms are overlooked as eccentricity or just being nutty. With Kanye being such a media figure it is important we spread awareness about these type of disorders to help people. Many times people who are untreated have no idea that they have an illness or that if can be treated and stabilized with medication and therapy.

I feel like the older I get the less friends I have along the way. I feel like everyone else is happy and have well nourished social lives and people who actually care about them, and sometimes I feel like I’ll never truly have a connection outside of my family.

Throughout my college career, I’ve hit the highs and lows of having large friend groups to now, during my second to last semester, having not many friends. People have slowly distanced themselves, moved away, found other friend groups, until now I am left with myself feeling the same insecurity I had when I was in middle school. I see pictures of my “friends” hanging out, going out to parties, and celebrating milestones together on social media after the fact. At the same time I am happy to see them happy, I feel a stab of disclusion because I wasn’t there to celebrate with them.

People just seem to fade away, and I feel its ridiculous to think I’m not a good friend, fun the hang out with or easy to talk to, but it just seems like the more and more I am pulled into adulthood the less people I have to enjoy it. What social opportunities will I get as an adult? Who will I know will actually like me for who I am, not as a convenient body they can use or talk at to make themselves feel better?

A person who I thought was my best friend moved 45 minutes away, and I tried several times to hang out with her over the summer, only to have the half-baked planned fall apart. Then I see on her Snapchat stories and Instagram posts, her hanging out and enjoy herself with other people. Distance of course factors into it and I wish her well, but I feel like a second choice or not worth it to pointedly make plans with.

I know its a silly way to feel, and everyone goes through these thoughts and ruts in their lives, but just in the same way I see how “love” is portrayed in movies and Hollywood, I see friendships are an unrealistic idea as well. I’ve never had a person I could talk to, who has ever gone out of their way for me, who I’ve felt an unwavering platonic loyalty to or had it reciprocated to me, and I feel unfulfilled and unsatisfied by it.

Maybe I will reach something close to it in my adult life, but right now I am so fed up with the gossiping, immaturity, falseness and temporariness of friends that I have now.

please respond. ive loved your writing for a longgg time but can you please not write physical descriptions? you wrote "standing up on her tiptoes" and it instantly ruined the fic for me, which sucks because i love your account :( as a tall girl i see that shit all the time and it's very disclusive and honestly upsetting. it makes me feel sort of worthless, because being a tall female in society is not easy. i really hope you see this. thanks.

hi love! i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to upset you! lots n lots of love 💗💗💗

i'm not even attending a concert yet but this "boracity" stuff is making me laugh so much.

the hotel pack thing should have been offered a lot sooner. people booked hotels ages ago. in fact a lot were pretty much full when the dates were announced and before the tickets even went on sale. sorry it was super slow on hybes and the hotels who are involved account and they should have said about it sooner imo. i hope they consider this when handing out the extras because how is it fair that people booking later will get gifts with their room.

the cafe menu thing said you have to select for 2 people minimum. this is super disclusive because if someone wanted to attend the "cafe" alone then they can't. it also implies that attending events alone is a bad thing and you should not do it. a lot of people go solo to bts concerts/events. also they should have said restaurant, not cafe. gave false hopes.

the nightclub situation and people whinging about dress codes. you realize clubs and venues have their own set of rules right. that wasn't decided by hybe that was in place previously. also i feel like it will be overcrowded and half of you won't get in. or they will over fill it and problems will arise.

anyway all this stuff is so much money on top of attending the concerts. it's embarrassing being used like this. im going for the music and for them that's it.