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#disabledsos
lucidlrh · 4 years
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loving blindly
summary: luke slowly loses his sight and you help him through it
warnings: none i think??
a/n: hello!! i wrote this for @skinnylukes‘s fan project, DisabledSOS! it’s such an amazing cause that aims to spread awareness about fans with disabilities, chronic illnesses, and health conditions. read more about it here!! 
i chose to write about retinitis pigmentosa (RP), which results in loss of vision. i did as much research as i could to try and portray the condition as accurately as possible, but of course, i have never actually experienced it so this might have a few inaccuracies, and for that, i’m very sorry!!
(i also wrote this super late at night so it probably has like a ton of grammar mistakes IM SORRY)
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It was only supposed to be a routine eye exam.
Luke hadn’t been worried at all when he first walked into the small office, ready to just get the appointment over with, and at first it did seem pretty standard. It was only when the doctor glanced through the test results and became eerily silent did Luke start to worry.
“Is everything alright?” he asked. 
The doctor ignored his question, asking instead, “Have you been having any difficulty seeing things in the dark recently, Luke?”
“Uhh, I mean a little? I just kinda assumed that was because I’d just been on my phone too much,” Luke murmured. “Why, is anything wrong?”
The doctor was silent for a moment, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He glanced up at Luke again, taking a breath before continuing. 
“I’m going to ask that you stay a bit longer today for a few tests, Luke. We’ll know more after that.”
Luke went home that night tired and stressed out from the long day of testing. He collapsed into your arms when you greeted him at the door, and you wrapped your arms around him tightly, hoping to ease his mind a little. 
“It’ll be okay, baby. Everything will be okay,” you murmured to him. “Whatever happens tomorrow, I know we can get past it.” 
The results came in the next morning. Retinitis pigmentosa is what the doctor called it. It was a rare condition where Luke’s retina would slowly deteriorate until he lost all vision. He would likely be legally blind by the age of 40, if his vision even lasted that long. 
Luke was in shock. A part of him had expected it, especially after seeing the doctor’s worried expression at the appointment.
“There has to be something they can do right? A surgery, maybe? Anything,” Luke stuttered into the phone while you rubbed his back comfortingly. “I won’t go blind, I can’t.”
“I’m sorry, Luke. There’s nothing that can be done right now,” the doctor continued to talk about different ways Luke could start preparing to make his vision last as long as possible and make the transition as smooth as it can be, but Luke stopped listening. 
He didn’t understand why this was happening to him. Luke considered himself a good person who led a good life and he just couldn’t fathom why the world decided to let him down now. 
The early symptoms became clear over the next few months, with Luke quickly becoming almost fully night blind. His peripheral vision was next to go, leaving him disoriented, often knocking into things and falling over.
The next few weeks were rough on both of you. Luke became distant, pushing you away whenever you tried to be there for him. It was obvious that he was in denial about his condition by the way he so adamantly refused your help. 
It wasn’t until he learned that he wouldn’t be able to continue driving anymore that the reality of the situation really hit him. He finally understood that his life would change drastically, and he wasn’t ready for it.
You found Luke crying on the bathroom floor that night. Wordlessly, you sat next to him, wrapping your arms around him like you had done thousands of times before.
“Y/N?” Luke mumbled a few moments later.
“Hmm?”
“Why are you still here?”
You pulled back and looked up at him, a little startled, “What do you mean?”
Luke’s eyes were swimming with vulnerability when he reached out and cupped your cheeks in his hands. “Why are you still with me when you know that I won’t be able to take care of you like someone else would?” he sighed.
“Are you kidding?” you breathed out, placing your hands over his own. “I love you, Luke. I’ll always love you, blind or not. No one is better for me than you are.”
Luke hummed at your answer, pulling you back into his chest. He was quiet for a moment before mumbling, “I’m sorry, baby.”
You closed your eyes, “Why?”
“I’ve been such a dick to you the past few months. You were only trying to help me, and I wasn’t being appreciative.”
“Shh, it’s okay, Lu. I understand.”
“Yeah?” Luke smiled into your hair.
“You’re gonna get through this, baby. I’ll be there with you the whole way.”
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@lukeisbaby @softforcal @sexgodashton @dimplesluke @valentinelrh @irwinkitten @irwintry @hookedonashton @sublimehood @cakesunflower @hemmoniac @sanrioluke @itjustkindahappenedreally​ @skinnylukes​
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vipclifford · 4 years
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A Sign Of Love
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A/N: italics represent flashbacks
You watched your boyfriend’s band play from the left wing of the stage. Every bang of the drums could be felt in your chest, every strum of the strings brought an odd tingling sensation to the tips of your fingers. You pressed your hand against one of the pulsating speakers, a soft smile stretching your lips as you felt the rhythm in your bones.
Calum’s eyes met yours with a large grin on his face once the song ended, his hands quickly signing “I love you.” With a cheesy smile you signed the words back at the man, his lips blowing you a kiss in response before returning his attention back to the show.
Sunlight warmed the breeze that brushed past your skin, fallen leaves soaring through the streets. The park bench felt cold against your legs as you waited for your charming date to show up.
It was your first date. The first after the man tried to chat you up at a party weeks ago, only to find out that the loud music was not the cause for his words being unheard. This fact did not deter him as Calum still seemed adamant to talk to you, eager enough to swipe your phone from your hands and make your contact list grow. Eager enough to fill each other’s notifications with messages for weeks. Eager enough to ask you out.
Clammy hands held your phone as you checked the time over and over, a dictation app ready to be used. A rose suddenly hung over the screen, gaze rising to meet a smiling Calum who held the flower out for you. You noticed the notebook held under his arm.
You grasped the flower with a small smile and stood up to greet him with a quick hug.
“Hi,” you said, phone ready to catch the next words he spoke. Instead a look of concentration overtook his face as he slowly signed ‘Hello, you look beautiful.’ Heat rose to your cheeks as he grinned down at you, nodding as though to emphasise his point.
You just smiled and looked down at the rose between your fingers, excited for what the rest of the afternoon could hold.
A sweaty Calum engulfed you in his arms, still bouncing off of the adrenaline from the show he just finished. Your nose scrunched up at the smell though your arms still encircled his torso, holding him tight. Only when a water bottle was thrown towards him did he relinquish his grip.
‘You did great, baby,’ you signed after he downed half of the bottle in one gulp. His lips formed a ‘thanks’ with a joyful look in his eyes before grabbing your cheeks, pulling you closer to meet his lips. One kiss turned into two then three then four before you pressed your hands against his chest to push him away, his lips still chasing yours as you pulled back. ‘You stink, shower first, then we’ll see,’ you signed to your boyfriend who nodded in defeat before a mischievous look filled his eyes. ‘Join me?’
“Were you born deaf?” Calum asked one day as you laid side by side beneath the summer night, months of dating behind you.
In all of this time he had always been attentive and supportive, treating you as normally as he possibly could. You could tell he had been secretly taking a sign language course as his skills improved every week, your heart filling with something you had never felt as you saw how much effort he was putting into being able to talk to you. And yet he had never dared to ask the big question, too scared of offending or upsetting you by mentioning the disability that has shaped you into the person you are today.
You read the words as they came up on the screen of your phone, glancing at him briefly before turning back to face the stars.
“Nope. I mean, I was always deaf in my left ear, but I could easily get away with it and live life as normal, if anything sharing headphones was the only trouble. But then one morning I woke up and with a slight ringing in my right ear. A ringing that went on and on and wouldn’t stop. And I couldn’t stop it, no matter how strongly I hit the walls and anything around me, desperate to hear anything else. This obviously alarmed my parents who came rushing in but I didn’t even notice until my dad grabbed me by the shoulders to force me to stop. I watched as his lips kept moving but no sounds came out. Nothing, Cal, not even a whisper,” you told your boyfriend as your eyes welled up with tears. He noticed this and wrapped his arms around you to pull you into his chest, hand stroking your head comfortingly. “The next thing I remember was being in A&E for ages and a couple doctors testing my ears. Eventually one of them handed me a piece of paper that said ‘sudden sensorineural hearing loss.’ The cause hasn’t been identified, but basically there is something wrong with the sensory organs of my inner ear so they can’t detect sound. They said that it was good that I had been diagnosed early and that treatment with corticosteroids would be able to bring my hearing back, but I wasn’t so lucky. So no, I wasn’t born deaf, but that’s my story.”
Calum pressed a kiss to your head and took your phone-clutched hand, kissing it too before grasping the device. He returned it after typing a message and sat up in front of you. ‘Thank you for sharing that with me. I know it must have been difficult but I appreciate you opening up, and I am so incredibly proud of how far you’ve come since that fateful morning.’ A small smile sat on your lips as you read the text, sitting up to face him too.
‘I love you,’ he signed, vulnerability in his eyes as he awaited any kind of response from you. Your smile widened in joy and surprise at his confession. Hands reaching out to intertwine with his, you carefully uttered the words back. Hearing your words made him grin from ear to ear, hands squeezing yours before leaning forwards to give you the most loving of all kisses. His soft lips melted into yours as he reached to gently place his hand on your cheek.
The night was perfect. He was perfect.
Celebratory beers were passed around the backstage dressing room followed by what you presumed were cheers. You chuckled lightly to yourself as you watched the scene, thinking of how oxymoronic your relationship was. One who devoted their life to creating music and sound and the other who couldn’t hear. With a tap to the shoulder Calum refocused your attention to him, signing a ‘you alright?’ with a slightly concerned expression.
You nodded with a smile, looking down at the silver ring on your finger before signing back your reply.
‘I’m happy.’
A/N: I have written this piece for the project ‘DisabledSOS’ organised by @skinnylukes ! This project aims to support and spread awareness about 5SOS fans with disabilities, chronic illnesses, and other health conditions. Carly brought back this movement specifically to bring about more disability-inclusive writing to tumblr and our fandom as I know that most writers (including myself) don’t tend to cater our pieces to this audience. I was really excited when she asked me to join the event and I hope i did it justice! Be sure to check out the #disabledsos tag for other fics/blurbs like this!
Inspired by Season 5 of Skam France, which deals with a normal teenager who experiences sudden hearing loss and has to learn to adapt to his new life. You can watch without seeing the other seasons, each season is based around a different central character and you see everything through their eyes so most things that happened previously are not necessary to follow the show. I truly recommend it!!
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starbandit · 4 years
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Adjusting (L.H)
A/N: hi guys! this is my fic for the DisabledSOS Project, which is a project created by @skinnylukes​ to bring awareness to the disabled 5sos fans. this is to bring awareness to the lack of disabled-inclusive writing in the fandom and hopefully put more out there for everyone to enjoy! I’ll link to the og post so you guys can read the explanation yourself, since i know i didn't do it justice lol.
Luke Hemmings x T1D!Reader
Summary: The daily struggles of a T1D ft. supportive boyfriend!Luke (mentions of needles)
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You stared at the numbers flashing on your test kit. It was the middle of the night, but you had gotten up to use the bathroom every twenty minutes, and after your fourth trip you finally decided you needed to check your blood sugar. Sure enough, you were high.
A frustrated groan leaves your mouth as you throw your kit onto your side table and get out from under the blankets once again.
"Hmm, baby," Luke lets out a soft moan as he rolls over. He cracks an eye open to look at your figure standing up. "What's wrong? Are you low?"
You shake your head. "I'm fine. Just a little high. Don't worry." You throw on your slippers to combat the cold floors under your feet.
"How high?" He sits up in bed, a little yawn leaving his mouth.
You chew your lip for a second. "350..."
Luke stretches and climbs out of bed. "Alright, lets go get you some insulin." He places a hand on your lower back as the two of you make your way to the kitchen.
The cool air from the fridge bites at your skin when you retrieve your bottle of insulin. Luke already has a syringe out for you and he carefully places the bag back into the cabinet. While you pull your insulin, Luke grabs a cold bottle of water and some alcohol swabs. He watches as you inject yourself, a small wince leaving his mouth. He trades you the syringe for the water and throws it into the red sharps bucket on the counter.
"Water is so good," You lean against the counter as you chug the rest of the bottle.
Luke chuckles as he watches you. "Let's go back to bed," He puts his hand out for you. "Check again in an hour?"
-
When your blood sugar drops in front of him for the first time, Luke has no idea what to do. You decided to join the boys for a movie night on the tour bus, but halfway through, you burst into a cold sweat. You excuse yourself for a few moments, your vision going slightly black when you stand, and go to find your blood sugar kit. Sure enough, its low.  
"Shit," Calum quickly turns the lights back on while Ashton pauses the movie. "Low? How?"
Luke forces you to sit down on the couch while you stare off into space. "What do we need to do?" He looks into your eyes.
"Uhm.." You can't seem to think about what to do. "Sugar. Soda, candy, doesn't matter."
Luke nods and the rest of the boys make quick work of finding something for you to snack on. Michael returns with a coke not even thirty seconds later.
"Okay, here we go." Luke opens up the can and holds it out for you. "Drink it," He watches with nervous eyes as you take some sips of the cola.
"Found some of these," Calum and Ashton walk back into the room with some small bags of random candy. "They had them in the dressing rooms earlier, I'm glad we took some now." He throws the bags down next to you.
Every five minutes, Luke pricks your finger again and checks your blood sugar. Once you hit 70, you start to get annoyed. "Luke, I'm okay now, I promise." You sigh.
"Okay, okay," He zips up your meter pouch and sits back onto the couch.
"You really scared us there, Y/N." Michael pipes up from the opposite side.
"I'm sorry," You apologize. "This doesn't happen too often."
"Hey, its fine. It's just a learning experience." Calum flicks the lights back off. "Can we get back to the movie now? It was just getting to the good part."
-
The knock on the door brings butterflies to your stomach. Luke jumps a little too, a bright smile appears on his face. "Go!" He stands up as you rush to open the door.
"Hello!" Two women stand at your door, both in scrubs and holding boxes. "We're here to help you set up your new pump and CGM, may we come in?" One of them asks. You nod and step out of the way, allowing them to walk into your shared home with Luke.
"So, it's a little overwhelming but I promise you guys will get it," There's tons of supplies laid out on the dining room table. Not one, but two insulin pumps, a bottle of insulin, a few boxes of supplies, and too many pamphlets that you and Luke will have to read later.
It takes over an hour to go over everything, both you and Luke ask questions about how everything works, and you even set up your usual ratios and basal times into your new pump. They help you and Luke set up apps on your phone for your new CGM and finally, it's time to apply it.
"So, we have your pump," One of the nurses hands you your new insulin pump. You had already filled it, you were just waiting to put the infusion set in and call it a day. "And we have one for Luke to put on for a few minutes while we finish going over everything,"
"Don't worry, its only full of saline," One of the nurses pats Luke on the shoulder. "We recommend putting your set on your tummy at first, but just like with injections you need to use an alcohol swab first,"
You and Luke both prep your stomachs. He rolls his shirt up and the nurse places a plastic set on him. She counts down from 3 and pushes two buttons, the needle rockets into his stomach and leaves a small round piece in its place. The infusion set was just a small cannula that sat under the skin, with some plastic pieces that your pump tubing could click in to. It made it super easy to unclip to shower or go swimming. 
"Okay, that wasn't," He gulps. "Too bad." He runs his finger over the plastic coating.
You gulp and look over to your nurse. She has the infusion set in her hand and you reach out to grab Luke's fingers. Soon enough, the infusion set is in. And it only felt like a little pinch.
The nurses clean up and leave you two with their numbers, stealing back the pump Luke had demoed. He sighs in relief when he can peel the infusion set off his skin and throw it away. You smile up at him and run to give him a hug.
"You have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you for being willing to learn." You sigh into his chest. It felt good having someone there to help you, free of judgement.
“I’m here to learn with you, my darling.” He rests his head on top of yours. “We’re in this together.” 
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hemmingsmendess · 4 years
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Emergency- a.i.
Ashton Irwin x reader
Ashton has to help you when your blood sugar drops too low
Warnings: reader has a diabetic emergency, if that may be triggering for you, please don’t read. 
Word count: 680
Rating: G 
My contribution to the disabledsos event @disabledsos @skinnylukes​
Ashton was startled awake when he felt you shaking beside him. He looked over and found your entire body trembling. You were still dead asleep, no idea as to what was happening and why.
“Baby, are you okay?” Ashton asked, reaching out to run his fingers through your hair. The only response he received was a weak groan. 
A memory of you telling him what to do crept into Ashtons mind. He distinctly remembers you telling him that this might happen if your blood sugar drops too fast or goes too low. He rushed over to the dresser to grab your meter and made his way back to where you lay. His hands were shaking slightly as he inserted a test strip into the meter and prepared the poker. 
“Baby, I’m gonna check your sugar, alright?” He whispered to you as he placed the poker to the pad of your thumb, pressing the button to push the needle forward. When the test was finally complete, Ashton let out a shaky breath as your number appeared on the screen: LOW. He gently ran a hand down your cheek, trying to make you at least somewhat coherent. 
“Baby, I need you to wake up. You need to drink some pop or something.” Ashton tried a few more times to wake you up. When 30 seconds had passed, he hurried out of your bedroom and headed towards the closet with all your diabetic supplies in it. He looked in the closet, trying to find the glucagon kit you had told him about. He let out a sigh of relief when he finally found the red container he needed. Ashton ran back to you after he had prepared the injection and grabbed his phone. 
Ashton grabbed a hold of your thigh as he began to insert the needle, attempting to lessen your trembling. 
His hands were shaking as he picked up his phone and dialed 911.
“Hello, 911, what is your emergency?” 
“I just had to inject my girlfriend with glucagon. Her blood sugar was low and she wouldn’t wake up.” 
“Ok sir, give me your address and we’ll send an ambulance your way.” 
When you finally opened your eyes, you were surrounded by bright lights. A weak groan left your lips as you looked around, trying to figure out where you were.
“Ash?” You croaked out when you spotted him asleep in a chair next to you. Ashton rubbed his eyes as he woke up, jolting upright when he saw that you were alright. 
“Oh thank god.” He sighed as he stood up and went to find a doctor. You looked at him with confusion written all over your face when he reentered the room.
“What happened?” You finally asked. 
“You went into a diabetic coma Y/n. They did a lab test, your blood sugar was nine.” Your eyes widened in fear and shock as the words left his mouth.
“W-what?” You reached out for Ashton’s hand as the doctor that had been taking care of you walked in. 
“I’m glad to see you awake miss Y/L/N. How are you feeling?”
“Groggy.” You replied, running your hand over your face. 
“Well, we have your blood sugar up to 100. You are doing better, but we’d like to keep you overnight to make sure nothing else happens.” You nodded your head in agreement as the doctor exited. 
Ashton slowly stood up and walked over to the hospital bed you were in and layed down next to you.
“You scared the life out of me. I thought I lost you for a little bit.” He explained as a tear ran down his face. 
“Hey, I’m ok. That’s not the first time that’s happened.” Ashton let out a small laugh.
“Yeah, well, It’s the first time I’ve ever had to deal with it. Please don’t do that again.” He giggled slightly, placing a chaste kiss to your lips. 
“No promises.” A groan escaped Ashton at your response.”I love you.” You said to him as you kissed him again. 
“I love you too.” 
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burncrashbromance · 4 years
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Hashimoto’s || Luke x reader
Note: this is my entry for the #disabledsos fan project hosted by @skinnylukes. This blurb is personal to me since I myself have this condition and wanted to write about what I know. If you have any questions about this, please feel free to ask me! I have about 8 years’ worth of experience with Hashimoto’s at this point.
Wordcount: 728 Warnings: mention of blood test
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You know as soon as you open your eyes that something is off. 
Luke’s already up, probably making breakfast downstairs as he is accustomed to do. You sit up slowly, rubbing your face as you sleepily reach for the blister packaging and pop out one small pill. You absentmindedly swallow it down with a sip of water and take a minute to stretch. The headache is already there, though. 
Walking downstairs, you smell the food as it’s cooking and Luke is wearing an apron that says ‘kiss the chef’. Obliging, you peck his lips sweetly and say good morning. 
“You ok?” He asks, a frown on his forehead. You cross your arms over your body as you move to sit on the bar chair at your kitchen island. Luke knows you have to wait thirty minutes before you can eat, since the hormone supplement needs time to digest first. The food he’s cooking has been meticulously timed to accommodate it. In the beginning he forgot about it sometimes and many a pancake had to be reheated, always with an apologetic smile, but you know he never meant it badly. Things like these are not in the standard boyfriend manual.
“Just a headache again.” You say, resting your temple against your hand. 
“That’s a full week of headaches now, love.” Luke says, concern edged in his voice. You sigh, because he’s right. Apart from the headaches, you’ve been cranky, fatigued, and kind of bloated. You know what this means.
“I guess I should get some blood tests done.” 
“Can you call your doctor today?” Luke asks, coming to sit beside you. His hand automatically finds yours on the table and gives it a squeeze. 
“Yeah, I’ll call him after breakfast. The sooner he fixes me up, the better.” You take it in stride, all of this. The thyroid disorder, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis to be exact, you’d been diagnosed with 10 years ago had affected your life in a variety of ways and you knew it so well that you rarely worried. It just, well, it just kind of sucked sometimes. A flare up could make you feel depressed, fatigued, bloated and irritable. Luckily you don’t have those too often.
“He’ll probably just up my dosage and tell me to take it easy, but as soon as I have it I’ll be okay again.” You say, taking a sip of water. You got hungry at the smell of the food and the half hour always lasts a little longer when there’s good food waiting for you.
Breakfast that day feels like a reward.
After some calls, a visit to the nurse and a few days, you see your endocrinologist who tells you that your hormone levels are on the low side and he’s prescribing you a higher dosage, just as you’d expected he would.
“Is there any chance you might be pregnant?” He inquires, knowing pregnancy is a very delicate matter. You just had your period a few days ago so you can safely say you aren’t, but it’s in the back of your mind every time there’s a pregnancy scare. Or not so much a scare, now that you’re with Luke, but more in terms of what Hashimoto’s could mean for you and your not-yet-existent baby. You leave the office with a prescription and just slightly less weight on your shoulders.
A few days later, your body feels more like normal again, whatever normal even means. When Luke wakes you up with a kiss on your nose, you smile lazily up at him and bring your head up to kiss him properly.
“Good day?” He asks, but the sight of his relaxed features tells you he already knows the answer.
“Very good day.” You reply, sitting up and automatically reaching for the supplement. You take it and consider the fact that this small supplement is the difference between life and death for you. And if taking it is what it takes to be alive, then it’s a small price to pay.
Luke sweeps you off your feet once you’re done and carries you all the way to the living room, burying your face and neck in kisses. You’re giddy with love as you kiss him back and start planning the rest of your day.
It’s a struggle sometimes, definitely. But a good day can make up for some bad ones.
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breakingtanaka · 3 years
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Feedback Opportunity
Hello everyone! While I probably should be posting this on my project Tumblr (as that’s what this post is for), I do have a fair few more followers on this blog, so it will be going here!
As some of you may know, I have been running a fan project called DisabledSOS for the last few years. I also know that some of you participated in my DisabledSOS Day writing event last April.
Because I’m kind of at a point where I’m stuck and unsure what to do with the project, I’m looking for feedback and/or suggestions for future projects or things that could make the organization (and my own advocacy) better. This feedback can come from anyone, but particularly those who have supported/followed or volunteered for the project at any time. I have created two different Google Form surveys for people to fill out (and they can choose which they’d like to).
If you’d like to submit your feedback or have any questions, you can click one of the links below or email [email protected].
Please reblog this so the proper people can see and respond if they’d like!
Thank you!
Supporter Survey
Volunteer Survey
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zairapvrker · 4 years
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disabledsos day!
Author’s note: heya everyone! i took some time off of your requests, and i apologize for that, because in the past couple of days i’ve been working on this fic for this amazing and wonderful project! disabledsos was born to bring visibility to fans who are dealing with any sort of disability and spread awareness to make the community feel loved within the fandom. if you wanna read more about it, and i really encourage you to, i’ll leave the link for the original post here: https://skinnylukes.tumblr.com/post/613965381647876096/attention-5sos-fanswriters thank you so much to @skinnylukes for reaching out to me about this, i feel very honoured to partake in the project you’ve created with so much dedication and love.  i tried my very best to educate myself about the disabling disease i’ll be writing about, however i apologize if some details are missing or wrong. please feel free to correct me, constructive criticism is always welcomed! and to all of you strong, amazing, beautiful people who fight everyday, i’m so proud of you all and my heart goes out to you, never give up, we’re all here for you! i keep you in my thoughts, always. 
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Multiple Sclerosis (MS) is a potentially disabling disease of the brain and spinal cord. In MS, the immune system attacks the protective sheath (myelin) that covers nerve fibers and causes communication problems between your brain and the rest of your body. Eventually, the disease can cause permanent damage or deterioration of the nerves. Signs and symptoms of MS vary widely and depend on the amount of damage and which nerves are affected. Some people with severe MS may lose the ability to walk independently or at all, while others may experience long periods of remission without any new symptoms. MS can occur at any age, but usually affects people between the ages of 16 and 55. There’s no cure for multiple sclerosis. However, treatments can help speed recovery from attacks, modify the course of the disease and manage symptoms. These last ones can vary from person to person and differ greatly and over the course of the disease depending on the location of affected nerve fibers. Symptoms often affect movement, such as numbness or weakness in one or more limbs that typically occurs on one side of your body at a time, or the legs and trunk, electric-shock sensations that occur with certain neck movements, tremor, lack of coordination or unsteady gait. Vision problems are also common, such as partial or complete loss of vision, usually in one eye at a time, prolonged double vision and blurry vision. People with MS may also develop muscle stiffness or spasms, paralysis (typically in the legs), mental changes such as forgetfulness or mood swings, depression and epilepsy.
“Mikey, I’m home!” you yelled as soon as you’d entered your shared apartment. Your roommate, and best friend, was almost always on the couch playing videogames but the headset he used to play made it hard for him to hear any sound outside of the yelling of his friends. That’s why you always had to be loud when you came home from work, slamming the door and calling out for him to notify him of your presence.
It had been an incredibly hard day, your stress levels were through the roof. It seemed you forgot pretty much every task you were supposed to do, remembering only when reminded, and couldn’t keep your focus. After all, you were in charge of much and with the imminent publishing of a new article, you’d blamed it on the general chaos that overtook the entire office.
“Hey, you” you nudged Michael’s shoulder as you sat down next to him on the couch, making his head turn in your direction. A smile opened up on his face upon seeing you finally home. “Hey, you’re back!” he exclaimed happily, stamping a kiss on your cheek. You giggled watching as he bid goodbye to his friends and shut the TV off. “So, I haven’t had the chance to get started on dinner-“ he started, sheepishly. “Michael!” you reprimanded with a smile on your face, slapping his arm playfully. “But I did think about what kind of take out to order” he justified, his arms up in surrender, the same amused smile you showcased on your face etched on his. You’d sighed. “And what is it?” you asked giggling. “Chinese, of course” he rolled his eyes. “Alright, but you call!” you pointed a finger at him as Michael nodded, getting up to go change out of the clothes you’d worn for the day.
Michael was quick to grip your hand to offer some sort of support as he saw you falter in your step, almost falling back down on the couch, while getting up. “Is everything okay?” the concern in his vice was clear. You squeezed his hand, waiting for the dizzying sensation of shock to pass and your sight to go back in focus. “Yeah, yeah” you reassured, slowly opening your eyes. “It’s been a long day” the smile you gave him was meant to ease his nerves, but Michael couldn’t help but worry as he watched you make your way to your room with a hand constantly pressed to the wall, in search for stability.
That evening you weren’t as talkative as usual, in fact, Michael did most of the talking. He told you about how one of the strings of one of his students’ guitar had snapped while he was tuning it for him and hit him in the face but had to laugh it off with tears in his eyes, his friends, the latest news. You just said it was a chaotic day at work, that your boss had yelled at you so much you thought your head was going to explode. He hugged you tight, offering to go and key her car if needed, which made you laugh softly. Feeling very tired, you excused yourself out of the usual Friday movie marathon. Michael smiled sweetly, saying it was okay and wishing you goodnight. He really is the best ever, you thought as you went back you your room.
The only way you could describe what happened when you woke up the next day was a nightmare. You almost though it was. You wanted to roll around to turn your alarm off, which even on Saturdays woke you up so you wouldn’t waste the day away in bed, but found you couldn’t. The motion was second nature to you, literally managing every day with your eyes closed, however the immobility of your torso made your eyes crack open as the alarm kept on going off.
Michael, on the contrary, liked to sleep in on Saturdays, so when he heard your alarm keeping on blaring he got off the bed and marched towards your room. When he opened the door he found you hopelessly trying to reach the alarm over on your nightstand but failing miserably. “Will you turn it off?” he huffed, going over to do it himself, yawning.
“I’m trying!” you snapped back, trying to sit up and failing. “I can’t feel my torso” you reasoned out loud, feeling the panic slowly set in.
“What?” Michael asked concerned, his eyes wide, as he took a seat beside you on the bed.
“I don’t know” it was safe to say you were confused. “I think it’ll go away, it may be the stress” you were trying to find a possible answer, pushing back the fear as best as possible.
“The stress?!” he exclaimed, his arms flying up. “You can’t feel half of your body and you think it’s stress?” clearly, he wasn’t as good as you were at rationalizing.
“Mike, it’ll go away” you voiced, his tone wasn’t helping you remain calm, his doubts the same as the ones you had but were trying to push at the back of your mind.
“Do you want me to help you sit up?” he asked then, offering his hands to hold onto. You nodded, slowly letting him help you with the motion.
Over the next couple of weeks, mostly spent in bed or on the couch and always requiring Michael to help you with every movement, the situation seemed to get better and worsen at the same time. The numbness was, in the span of a day, left behind in favour of wobbly legs and dizziness, you were always fatigued and tired. You had taken more days off of work in three weeks than ever since you started working. But just when you thought you had made it out of the woods, everything went downhill.
“It can’t go on like this” Michael sighed as, once again, he picked you up from the floor when your right leg had failed to support your weight while standing up from the couch. “We’re going to the ER” he stated, looking at you in the eyes.
You gulped, seeing the worry in his sparkling greens clear as day. Truth was you were worried too, but you were always used to downplay the discomfort you were in, brushing it off as if it were nothing. However, this was going too far and scaring you to your very bones. Nodding you agreed and he helped you prepare a bag in case you had to spend the night at the hospital, praying you wouldn’t have to, as silent tears made their way down your face.
Michael hated to see you like this, you were always so cheerful and bright, this was really taking a toll on you. He heard the quiet sniffles coming from you when he entered the room, finding you where he’d left you on your bed, folding a shirt into the duffle bag next to you. His heart had been held captive in a painful clench the last few days, the worry truly never leaving him and the confusion messing with his head. He took a seat next to you, putting his own change of clothes in the duffle, and taking your hands in his. Bringing them up to his lips, he left a light kiss on your knuckles.
“We’re getting you through whatever this is, alright?” he could hear his own voice faltering, watching as more tears pooled in your eyes. “I’m right here” he assured when you threw yourself into his arms, holding you tight. Next thing you knew, he was picking you up, almost forgetting the duffle and going out to his car. You made sure to turn off the lights and lock the door behind you.
The hours that followed were a whirlwind, dragging you down and down until you were sure you hit rock bottom when finally the results of all the tests and consultations with the doctors came to an end. All that you were sure of was Michael’s hand holding yours, fingers intertwined, when you were called back into the doctor’s office, from the waiting room full of other patients, and your legs failed to support you. Your best friend was the first to be at your side, followed by the doctor herself and a bunch of people in the waiting room. You couldn’t understand a thing that was going on, too many voices talking at the same time as you were sat on a wheeling chair and finally brought into the office. The diagnosis hit you like a slap in the face and you were sure you only heard half of the words that left the doctor’s mouth. “Multiple sclerosis is common at your age” “We will have to run more tests to make sure of what the complications you’ve developed are” “In some cases it is very hard to diagnose, but looking into the symptoms you’ve described and MRI we were lucky to find out right away” “Unfortunately, it was pretty quick to affect your legs, clearly causing an impairment we need to assess” “There are ways to help you regain the ability to walk independently, if you’re lucky”
She’d used the word lucky a lot, you’d noticed, while talking. Unfortunately, you didn’t feel like that at all.
Calling your family to tell them the news had been extremely difficult, knowing that they were far away and could only visit so many times took a huge toll on you. You hated to admit to yourself that the positive outlook you’d always had on life was quickly fading in favour of judgement-clouding pessimism. The first night back from the hospital you’d spent crying after days of not letting a single emotion shine through. Hearing your sobs shattered Michael’s heart and it only got worse when he entered your dark room and held you as you shook, gripping his t-shirt in tight fists and wetting it with salty tears. He’d seen you at your lowest and he was determined to bring you back.
Making you listen was hard, the wall of hopelessness you’d built around you seemed insurmountable, but Michael was as determined as ever. He wasn’t about to let you fall any deeper into the pit of anger and frustration that never seemed to leave you.
“Have you listened to what the doctor said?” he asked pushing your wheelchair through the park near your apartment building. It was a beautiful day and he was determined to get you out of the house.
“No, Mike, I was tired” you mumbled, looking over at the kids running after each other in a game of tag.
“The more you refuse to move, the more it’ll hinder your exercises in physical therapy” he reminded, stopping near a bench so he could sit down and look at you in the eyes while having this conversation.
“Yeah, and what am I supposed to do?” you snapped. “Waltz out of this fucking chair and go for a jog?” you pointed to a pair of joggers who were about to pass you by.
“Well, one day you might be able to!” he insisted, making you shake your head with a scoff.
“And what if I’m not? What if I’ll never walk again?” you wanted it to sound harsh, convinced of what you were saying, but your voice betrayed you, breaking at the end.
“What if you do?” he asked back softly, hoping that his point got through to you. And it did. You took in a shaky breath, looking away from his hopeful eyes, not bearing to see how much he’d believed in you when you didn’t.
--
Michael was there for you through every up and down: he held you when you couldn’t fall asleep because your anxieties and worries were eating away at your peace of mind, he was there to listen when you listed all the reasons why you believed you wouldn’t be albe to do this, always offering reasons why you could right back. He came to every appointment of physical therapy you had, he was with you every time you had to go to the hospital for check-ups or visits and was also there when it was explained to you that you had Relapsing Remitting MS, which meant that you would have episodes or spikes after periods of time without any new symptoms and it was a possibility that you could slow down the progression of the condition and manage symptoms, possibly walking on your own again if you were consistent with medication and exercising.
And while you were still worried, you couldn’t help but stare at the doctor with wide eyes. “R-Really?” you asked her, a smile threatening to slip at the mere thought of being able to stand for more than two minutes without the help of anyone.  
“Really” she confirmed as an elated sigh escaped you, Michael squeezed your hand, happy to see you hopeful.
It became routine for you two, when he came home from work right about when you shut your computer off as your part-time shift ended, to immediately start exercising. He was happy to finally see you as combative as you once were, determined to fight this off as much as possible.
“You gotta!” he reminded with a laugh from his spot beside you as he saw you panting on the yoga mattress in the middle of your living room. 
“I don’t wanna!” you whined covering your eyes with your arm. He chuckled, lifting it slowly as you peered up at him with one eye opened. 
“Come on, it’s the last set!” he encouraged and you huffed, knowing he was right. Propping yourself up on your elbows you looked at his adorable smile and rolled your eyes. Michael helped you up, slowly walking you to the wall, and stopping a foot away from it. He eased down with you into a sitting position as you let your back rest against the wall, finally letting go of you.
“Look at you, walking up to the wall without tripping!” he crossed his arms over his chest, smiling as you silently counted the seconds you needed to keep in position for. You chuckled, seeing proudness in his eyes. Once the squat exercise was over, you stood up with wobbly legs, only one hand resting on the wall behind you for support. You smiled widely upon seeing the look on his face.
“You can stand on your own?” he asked a little shocked as you nodded. “Since when?” he smiled brightly, quick to offer his help to walk back to the couch and sit down.
“Yesterday the phone was ringing, it was my mom, I forgot it on the shelf behind my desk and you weren’t at home, so I just… tried” you shrugged. Michael scoffed with a bright smile. “I almost tripped, but I fell back on the chair before I could”
“Atta girl!” he hugged you tight. “I’m so proud” he rocked you from side to side, making the both of you giggle.
It was taking incredible effort but you saw the improvements every day, slowly there was no need for you to hang on to the parallel bars at you sides as you hesitantly put a feet in front of the other, walking the short distance. There was no need for your nurse, or Michael, to help you stand up from a sitting position and you were even able to stand while you prepared your cereals in the morning before your best friend helped you walk to the dining table.
Slowly, Michael was able to go back to his normally longer shifts at music school as you found it easier and easier to move through the house either with crutches or, on the days when you were too tired, with your wheelchair.
“Need help?” Michael asked as you were in the kitchen microwaving some popcorn for your movie marathon.
“Nope!” you yelled back, leaning against the counter as you waited for the device to beep, crutches at your side. “Okay, maybe” you second guessed once you put the popcorn into the bowl.
Michael was quick on his feet, entering the kitchen with a lopsided smile, leaning on the door frame with one shoulder as his hands went to the pockets of his basketball shorts.
“Can you take the bowl?” you smiled sheepishly. He chuckled, nodding as he complied. “Thanks” you blew a kiss his way, steadying yourself on the crutches and making your way to the couch. Michael stayed back, watching you.
“Staring is rude” you snickered, sitting down and laying your crutches down on the floor.
“I wasn’t staring” he defended, making his way over. You cocked an eyebrow at him with a smirk.
“I was admiring how far you’ve come” he added, bringing some popcorn to his mouth as he sat down.
“Sure, Clifford” you laughed, reaching for some popcorn too.
“I’m serious!” he exclaimed. “Eight months ago you barely wanted to get out of bed, now you’re walking around the house and are basically a fitness instructor” you scoffed as he giggled.
“Just wait till new symptoms show up in a few years” you sighed, pressing play on the movie. Michael snapped his head in your direction, his brows furrowed.
“Hey, no, don’t talk like that” he almost scolded.
“Mikey, it’s fine, I made my peace with it. My life is always going to be like this” you gestured to the crutches and the wheelchair in the corner, shrugging.
“No, it’s not” he couldn’t help but raise his voice a little, disbelieving of the words that were leaving your mouth. “You’re taking back the life that this tried to pry from you, you’re fighting and it’s working. You’ll be able to walk again soon and if new symptoms show up you’ll learn to monitor them and make them your bitches”
“My bitches?” you couldn’t help but let an amused snicker out. You saw the left corner of his mouth tilting up, trying to keep the laughter at bay, after all, you were too.
“Yes” he said resolutely. “I’m helping you through this, remember? Every step of the way” it wasn’t time to cry, you reminded yourself, pushing back the tears as you nodded.
“Thanks Mikey” you let your head rest on his shoulder, sitting back. He just left a kiss on top of your head, resting his cheek against it as you both focused on the movie playing.
--
“Michael, come here!” you didn’t like to scare him, you really didn’t, but when he slowed down the fast jog he made over to you room, panting slightly and ready to help however he could, a glint of panic in his eyes, you couldn’t help but feel the need to suppress your laughter. “Stay there” you said, watching confusion grow on his face, as he settled by the door.
“What’s wron-“ you shushed him before he could finish, slowly sitting up from your bed. Michael watched as you stood up without the need to hold onto anything, starting to walk  towards him without needing any help. His mouth opened in surprise and you smiled, finally reaching him.
“Hi” you said, a feet away from him. You didn’t have the chance to see his glassy eyes, full of pride, because he was quick to engulf you in his arms and pick you up to spin you around just once, as you giggled elated. He held you tight, his face hiding in the crook of your neck.
“Are you crying?” you asked slightly amused, feeling your skin getting wet.
“No” came the muffled response from him. “You did it” he whispered, still not moving.
“It’s not the end of anything, but by the looks of it… I can walk on my own now” you said, bringing a hand up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Thank you for never giving up on me”
“Thank you for not giving up on yourself” he sniffled, finally looking at you with probably the brightest smile you’ve ever seen him display over the course of the last year and a half. You smiled too, a single tear of joy running down your face which Michael was quick to dry with the pad of his thumb.
He left a sweet kiss on your forehead. “We need to call everyone!” he jumped up in joy only seconds after, making you giggle, taking you by the hand like he’d done over a million times by now and walking with you to the living room.
“You need to chill” you said, sitting down on the couch next to him.
“Never!” he exclaimed, quickly searching for your mom’s contact. He really was the best, you thought looking at the one who had been by your side through one of the toughest of times and was sure to be there for you for anything that would come your way in the future, with a sweet smile.
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emitheduck · 4 years
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Color it for Me (Calum x Blind!Reader)
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A/N: Hi everyone! I wrote this as a collab. project with the #disabledsos hosted by @skinnylukes​ . You can find more information about the project Here and you can check out that blog as well! Big shoutout to everyone who participated, and we couldn’t have done it without everyone pitching in! Hope everyone enjoys and stays safe out there ------
“Hey babe, what are you doin?” Calum asked, watching as his girlfriend sat by the window, cat in her lap while she stared out the window. He knew both her and the cat loved to sit by the widow in the bedroom, knowing that’s the spot where the sun shone in the most
“I’m thinking.” She told him, leaning back in the chair while the cat decided there were more important things in the house as he jumped off her lap.
Calum laughed slightly, sitting down on the arm rest of the chair as he gently traced circles on her back. “What are you thinking about?”
She sighed, scrunching her face which he thought was adorable. “I’m trying to think of colors. It’s embarrassing so we don’t have to talk about it. You guys keep saying your vinyls are blue and pink, and I don’t know what that even is, and I was getting frustrated.”
It was his turn to sigh, gently taking her hand in his own. “You should have told me, it’s not like I would have gotten mad at you or anything.”
“I know you wouldn’t have gotten mad, but I thought that I could try and figure it out on my own and then I realized I have no idea what I’m even doing.” (Y/n) groaned, leaning into his arm.
Calum laughed, leaning down and softly kissing the top of her head. “Let me try to help you then. We’ll start with blue because that’s the color of the vinyl. So, I like to think of blue as something cold.”
“Blue is cold?” She asked as he slid down on the chair next to her, pulling her into his lap so they could fit on the chair.
“Yes technically. Things that are blue are the sky, and the ocean. But lightning can also be blue if you see it at the right time.” He told her. “Of course, blueberries, then Luke has blue eyes. I like to think of blue as something that can be cold, kind of like ice.”
She nodded. “Then what is red?”
He paused. “Red is more of a warm color. When you stand out in the sun too long and get a sunburn, you actually turn red. If you’re embarrassed, your face can turn red too. Red to me is when it’s a really hot day, and then you have strawberries and you instantly feel better.”
“What colors are strawberries?” She asked him, her hands reaching up to play with the hair on the back of his neck.
“They’re red, but not like a hot red. More of a fun red.” He smiled, watching as the cat decided it was time to sit by the window with them.
“Wait so what is pink?” She questioned.
Calum laughed, trying his best to think of how to describe the color. “So, you get pink when red and white are mixed together, and it makes this color that I can only describe as pure sugar.”
“What do you mean by sugar?” (Y/n) laughed, slapping his chest lightly when she could feel him laughing. She wanted nothing more than tosee him laughing, but feeling it was just as wonderful.
“Pink is a color that a lot of little girls seem to like. But pink is also something like bubblegum and it’s just a sweet color if that makes any sense.” He told her, kissing her cheek softly.
(Y/n) paused, listening to all the information he had told her. “Hey Cal?”
“Yeah babe?”
“Would you ever tell me if I walk out in something that’s like, a gross color? Or if something didn’t look right?” She asked him, slapping him once more when she could feel him laughing.
“Of course, I would tell you! What kind of boyfriend would I be, if I didn’t tell you how you looked after you got ready?” He smiled. “How about we have some breakfast? I have some banana pancakes waiting for us.”
She nodded, climbing off his lap. “That sounds like a really good idea.”
He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips before he held her hand. “And while we’re eating, I can tell you about some more colors.” Masterlist
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Tranquility- CH
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A/n: I love Duke....and Calum....anywho...Hey guys! So this was a piece I was working on for #disabledsos I think I’m late but still wanted to do something. Click here for the original link. Honestly this is one of the reasons I love 5sosfam so much, this group is helping raise awareness to fans with disabilities, chronic conditions, medical illnesses etc.. They help make everyone feel included, and with this project we’re trying to spread representation. We all want to be Y/n…but sometimes its hard to picture ourselves as the reader when they are nothing like us. I decided to start with the reader being blind and read about people’s actual experiences and guide dogs, etc. trying to get perspective. This really got me thinking, and I really want to expand my writing to reach more readers of different backgrounds, so let me know what you think and any requests!
In addition to this, I may continue the story I’m not sure yet, but also having a whole event today. Send in requests for blurbs, mtls, reactions, opinions, thoughts on CALM, whatever! I’ll be here all day today getting to know you guys so please go on over to my ask box here!
Warnings: none? Dogs? Idk lol
Word Count: 1,143 ... not bad kinda short sorry
Sitting at your favorite park bench, coffee in hand, you knew it was autumn. You felt the cool breeze against your face, heard the rustle of leaves under the boots of people walking past, saw the scatter of red and yellow light against the trees in front of you. You knew this park so well you could almost see the scene in front of you. Almost… This was a favorite park of yours when you were younger, before you lost your sight that is. From what your sister told you, not much has changed. So, although you could almost see the park in your head, the reality was you really only saw bits of light and colors. Almost like someone painted what was in front of you, then started moving the brush dripping in black paint randomly across the canvas, completely mixing the colors and obscuring the image. At first adjustment was hard, but you made a life for yourself all on your own. All you had to do was approach things just a little differently.
You took another sip of your coffee as you patted the top of your trusty guide dogs head who lied on the ground beside you, enjoying your early morning. With all the stress from work and school it was nice to just sit and breathe. Your thoughts, and tranquility, were interrupted with the sound of barking, and someone screaming “DUUKKEE”. Next thing you knew there was a smaller dog jumping back and forth from your lab’s back to your knee. You dropped your coffee in surprise, praying the hot liquid hadn’t landed on either dog. From the lack of a bark or yelp, you assured yourself they were fine as you turned your attention to the pleasant surprise. As you pat the new dogs head, it left slobbery kisses all over your hand. You wish you had worn gloves, but the ball of fluff was too cute to push away.
“DUKE! Leave the poor girl alone, come here! I am so sorry… I took of his leash to fix his collar and then whhooom he was gone. He’s not bothering you is he?” A man’s voice asked, you heard him approach and pick up the poor dog, Duke you now knew. You heard your own dog Max whine a little at his new friend being taken away. You couldn’t help but laugh.
“No he’s fine! Though if you had come any later he may have licked me to death” He began to laugh too at your words, a deep chuckle that left you feeling warm despite the morning chill.  You felt him sit beside you on the bench, and from the sound of metal clinking you guessed Duke was getting his leash put back on. Although no longer a peaceful morning, you were happy for the company. This stranger seemed nice and funny…and well you had a weakness for dogs.
“Ya this is Duke. He’s a little troublemaker and getting into stuff. He’s a sweetheart, but he could learn a few things from your dog here. What’s this one’s name…” As his voice cut out and dropped a few octaves, you guessed he finally noticed the red vest on your dog. Preparing yourself for the worst, you sighed, knowing whatever moment you both had was gone. Too bad, you were enjoying the conversation.
“This is Max. Yes, its okay if you pet him right now, I don’t mind since we’re just sitting here, and before you ask I’m blind that’s what he’s helping me with.”
“O-oh, ok.” He then laughed, you couldn’t tell from amusement or nervousness. “You must get a lot of questions. Hey Max…how you doing buddy?”
You felt Max’s tail hit your leg…repeatedly. “He likes you”
“Well thank goodness. I love dogs.”
“I would hope so if you own one” you laughed, trying to ease the tension, grateful when he began to laugh as well.
“Very true! He’s my baby, but I promise you I’m not the bad parent you probably think I am. I’m Calum by the way”
“Y/n” You said extending your hand. You felt his warm, calloused hands wrap around your own as he shook your hand, lingering just a second longer. He only let go when he heard the barking of his dog, who had begun pawing at your leg trying to get down from the bench. Max started making noises too, curious as to who these new strangers were and wanting to play. He set Duke down with a “be good” and returned his attention to you.
“Y/n…” He said, as if testing the sound of your name. “Um, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything I just-“
“Hey it’s fine. You really didn’t do anything, like you said I’m used to a lot of questions and people treating me weird when they realize these stylish shades actually have purpose”
“I have to say you pull them off nicely. And I’m sorry that must be hard…”
“Eh you get used to it. Just thank you so much for not yelling”
“Why would I yell?”
“If I had a dime for every time someone started practically shouting at me when they found out I lost sight I’d be hella rich. Like they assume I’m deaf too. It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so annoying.”
“Haha…oh my gosh that’s terrible”
“Yeah…but not as bad as others asking if I need to feel their face to identify them. As if my sight moved from my eyes to my fingertips…I think that’s the worst one” You laughed
“And here I was gonna ask you to put your hands on my face so you know how good-looking I am”
Jokingly, you put your arm out aiming for his shoulder, trying to ignore the feel of his biceps, as you managed to find the side of his face. “Ah let me guess…tall, dark, and handsome?”
“Correct! I’m 6’1”, black hair, tan skin, and incredibly handsome. Wow and here you had me thinking this wouldn’t work!”
You both laughed, it was a long time since you had laughed this much. A long time since you felt this comfortable with someone. A long time that someone didn’t start treating you weird, and could actually laugh about your hardships. You wish you could have stayed here, but of course reality set in. Your alarm went off, alerting you of your next appointment.
“Great…I’m sorry I have to go. I’ve got this meeting to get to. It was nice talking to you Calum”
“Yeah…you too Y/n. It’s a small park, maybe I’ll see you around?”
“I try to walk Max here in the mornings around this time…so maybe”
You smiled and waved goodbye to the stranger Calum as you made your way out of the park, wondering when the next time you’d see him would be…
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secondstarfanfics · 4 years
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I joined this project called disabledsos which is a project by @skinnylukes and its to help fans of 5sos with disabilities feel like they are not alone and to help spread awareness of disabilities. So here is what I wrote for the project! To learn more about it, here is the original post Disabled SOS
I Don't Feel Sorry For You (part one)
Ashton's point of view
I had been watching her. I'm not trying to sound creepy or stalkerish, but I had been.
Why you may ask?
Well, I thought she was cute and it amazed me how she got around. She had wavy shoulder- length brown hair, and I'm assuming her eyes were brown, too, however, I'm not really sure about that because I haven't gotten that close to her. I also mentioned how she got around, she walked with a walker.
She has a disability called cerebral palsy or at least that's what my friend Luke told me he heard.
After he had told me that, I may or may not have went and done some research... ok I did. What could I say? She intrigued me.
From what I read I found out cerebral palsy (CP), is a brain injury that occurs while the brain is developing- before, during or after birth. As a result of the brain damage during brain development a child's muscle control, muscle coronation, muscle tone, reflex, posture and balance can be affected.
Yelling, broke me out of my thoughts, so I looked in the direction that it was coming from and noticed two guys laughing with books in their hands, trying to keep them from her, while she was pleading with them to give them back.
What the hell? I thought to myself. Before I knew it, I was walking over to them, my blood boiling.
"Hey!" I shouted, shoving one of the guys, getting in his face.
"Hey dude, what's your problem?" his friend asked.
I was nose to nose with them now. "My problem is you and your jerk of a friend. " I pointed to the guy standing in front of me. "I mean we are all in college now, and you have nothing better to do than to patronize a woman? Grow up and stop acting like little boys. This isn't high school anymore. "
"Oooh, who are you? Her Knight and Shining Armor? " they both said.
"No, I'm the guy who is going to kick your ass if you don't leave her alone. "
"Looks like your boyfriend here is trying to save the day sweetheart," one of the guys smirked at her.
I had enough of their mouths and within a few seconds, my fist conected with the guys jaw that was standing in front of me.
I picked up the books, placing them in her bag that hung on her walker, leaving the guy to help his friend up.
"Thank you, but I don't need anyone feeling sorry for me. I could've handled that myself."
"Oh, I didn't do it because I felt sorry for you. I would've done that for anyone. I can't stand people like those guys," I told her and began to walk away.
"Wait, she called out. "I'm sorry. "
"Its okay," I smiled, turning to face her again.
"I'm Emma, " she introduced herself.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Ashton. "
We stood there in silence until I decided to break it. "This maybe to soon, but um, would you like to go get a cofee with me or something? "
I just got through telling those guys that we weren't in highschool anymore, but as cliche as this sounded I felt like I was back there for a moment.
Emma looked down and then back up at me, saying, "Sure I would like that. "
Okay," she smiled. Well I'm going to go now. "
"Okay. " As I turned to walk away, I realized my assumption was right, she did have brown eyes.
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calpalirwin · 4 years
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hey! i know this is super random, and i apologize, but i’m trying to reach out to a bunch of 5sos writers about this! i’m disabled, and for the past two years i’ve been working on a fan project known as disabledsos, which pretty much aims to shed some light on 5sos fans with disabilities. next saturday, we’re doing a little event and i really want to possibly spread awareness via disability-inclusive writing. even just a few little blurbs are fine! please let me know if you’re interested!
Hi! Yes, please tell me what I can do to help!
Hey, my followers! Help us out? @baldcalum @cxddlyash @talkfastromance4?
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calpalhazza-blog · 5 years
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evergreenmeadows · 6 years
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5SOS Fan Project - Wolf Trap, Vienna, VA, Sep. 5th
Hello, beautiful people of the internet! At the MYT show on September 5th, I’m going to be handing out signs that say “I’m (blank) and I love the skin I’m in.” These signs were made by twitter.com/diversitysos and are meant to promote inclusiveness and self-love within the fandom (see my most recent reblog for more info on diversitysos!). Anyone who is going to that show, in Vienna, VA: please be on the look-out for signs and bring markers to write in the blank! You can write anything you identify with, such as your cultural background, your sexuality, your name, etc. Also, I would love it if anyone else going to the show could help me by printing out and handing out more signs! There will be so many people there, and that’s a LOT for one person to try to reach! Feel free to message me on Tumblr or through my Twitter I made for this event: https://twitter.com/MYTWolfTrap. Thank you so much, and I look forward to connecting with you all! - Rachel <3
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UPD! WE DID IT! THE MONEY WAS RAISED AND NOW WE WAIT FOR TREATMENT! Please, help me save a life!
Hi, guys.
Sorry for disappearing again, life is hectic now, lots of things are changing. I will adapt, soon, I hope, and will come back to all of you and all of my stories.
But today I came to talk not about that and not even about me.
Today I came here to ask you for help. Please, read this post. It’s super important.
I’ve never asked much from you, I believe. Besides asking to send me some stupid questions or read something I’ve written.
So, I hope it gives me the right to ask you today. I’m asking not for much. Just, please, guys, help me save a life.
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This is Sofia Darbinyan. She’s four months old. She’s from my city, from a very good family I know, the youngest of three wonderful girls. She’s only started her life, but, unfortunately, she’s in a big trouble already.  Sofia has Spinal muscular atrophy (SMA), it’s a neuromuscular disorder that results in the loss of motor neurons and progressive muscle wasting. Babies with this awful genetic disease usually die at about six months old, as they stop breathing and suffocate.
Several years ago, there was absolutely no treatment and kids were basically left to die. Last year the genetic medicine was produced, tested and licensed. There’s a cure. It’s called Zolgensma. The only problem, it’s the most expensive medicine in the world.
Sofia needs just one shot to keep living almost absolutely normal life. But this shot costs $ 2,125 million.
This is enormous money for one family. In my country some people (a lot of people, to be honest) won’t earn even 10% of this sum in their entire life. It’s almost impossible to get this medicine through our governmental programs, as it’s not licensed officially on the territory of our country. And most of charity funds refused to help due to the high cost of the medicine.
Sofia’s parents are doing everything to get at least some official help and support, but unfortunately, for now, we, usual people, are the only hope they have. The thing that makes it all even worse is that we have less than two months left, Sofia has to get the shot till she’s six months old for it to help her.  We’ve collected about $ 140 thousand already, but it’s not enough, of course.
So, today, I’m asking you, please, guys, help me save this little angel.
$ 2 million is an extreme amount of money for one person. But if 1 million people donate $ 2 and 20 cents, it’ll do the trick. In my country it’s a price of a coffee cup. Not that much for one person, right? But more than enough for Sofia to stay alive.
You can get more info on this instagram page  https://www.instagram.com/helpsofiadarbinyan (tho it’s all in Russian, but I think instagram can translate it)
If you need, I can help you see all the official documents and proof you need.
If you can’t donate money (I do understand that lots of people have lost their jobs and are experiencing hardship rn), please help us with reblogs. It’s extremely important for as many people as possible to find out about Sofia, it’s more important than any fic reblogs, guys.
I see a lot of action happening every day, here on tumblr and outside, in the world. I see people standing by each other during all the madness with COVID-19, I see people protecting each other against discrimination, racism, violence and injustice. People hasn’t invented diseases, but it’s also a problem we have to fight. I believe in people. I believe in 5sos fam. I have seen how powerful we and our small actions are. I’ve seen you guys doing incredible things, like having all this disabledsos marathon or helping clean Michaels name. So, please, help me do one more good thing.
I do believe that kids like that come to this world to help us be better and kinder. And I’m gonna try my hardest to try save this little angel’s life.
Please, guys, I’m begging you, help! Any, even the smallest help matters. Every cent, every reblog, every prayer. Please, please, please. She deserves to live.
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Hiya! How’s quarantine treating you? Could I request you write something about him waking you up in the middle of the night cause he couldn’t sleep and just having cute nonsense discussions? You can choose who it’s with 😊 stay safe! xx
Hi, love. I’m not really taking requests at the moment. However, I am in the middle of a weird slump with an unbridled urge to write but none of my fics are working for me. So I’m attempting this–I got carried away. Whoops. 
Brief mentions of chronic pain. If anything is inaccurate, please let me know! I didn’t want to get overly detailed and be completely wrong, but am willing to take constructive feedback. 
Hella late, and I’m sorry about not making this in time for @disabledsos and @skinnylukes. My major apologies! But after watching and listening to that community it was put onto my soul to at least try. 
Song requests can be sent it, but they too are on a small delay. 
Enjoy my masterlist!
No specific gender or race is given. 
_____________________________
One Hundred Sleepless Nights
He hadn’t meant to wake you really. 
Well, not wake you like this. Not to have you bolting upright in bed. “I’m sorry,” Calum urges, trying to suppress a giggle. 
The moment the lights turned out in his bedroom, Calum’s brain found everything to think about it. Like the song he hadn’t finished mixing that day or the hunt for yeast for your new baking adventures went on for another week. For the moment, baking sweets had curbed the urge to bake bread, but he still wanted to find some yeast soon because he wasn’t sure he could endure another batch of sweets. They would rot his teeth and he knew for the time being, he had no real responsibilities so he could have as many as he wanted. Which was never a good idea. 
And sure, he should’ve scrubbed the floors today instead of waiting for tomorrow. But god, there were only so many things he could do in a day and between meetings and promotion, there just wasn’t time for everything. And after deep breathing for a good ten minutes with no luck, Calum fitfully turned onto his side, trying, praying desperately for sleep to find him. But in the frustration, he flopped a little too hard and now you’re upright, blearily reaching in the dark. 
“Who do I have to kill?”
“Coming from the person that doesn’t have the guts to kill a spider,” he scoffs. “But my brain would be nice if you can move it to the front of the hit list.”
Your heart is still racing a little in your chest but you settle back down, turning onto your side to face Calum. In the small ounces of moonlight that filter in through the curtains, you can see Calum’s worry lines creasing his face. You run your fingers over them, attempting to smooth them out like clay on a throwing wheel. “For the record, spiders have eight legs. That’s six too many and I’m not about to get into a ring with a creature with eight legs. It’s called being smart. Now, what’s the matter, bub?”
“Too many things to do. Not enough time.”
“Ain’t it how life goes?”
“Unfortunately.” He closes his eyes to the repeated soft drag of your finger tips across his forehead. You move to his temple, following his hairline around, down the outskirts of his cheek and along his jaw. Your fingers are so light as they drag down his chin. Jokingly you use the pad of your thumb to lightly pull on his bottom lip before letting it snap back into place. 
“You know I’m here right? I can help you out.”
“You need to rest.” 
You know he’s saying it because of your own bouts with health concerns. But you can help out. “Nonsense. I’ll rest when I’m dead.” 
It’s your go-to phrase and while Calum would normally argue with you tooth and nail that even though that was technically true, you could also rest while still alive. But instead of the normal playful respond, it just hurts. The pain, though he had no measure for it, always held over you and you did your best to get through the bad days. 
His arm finds your waist in the dark and he drags you into his chest. His exhale is shaky into the crook of you neck. You don’t miss it in the silence that’s settled around you. You wind your fingers into his hair. “Aliens–real or a farce?”
His lips drag across your skin and you feel the first tear drop, it’s warm as it runs down. He sniffles, trying to ease the shakes and quaking of his throat. “Uh, real,” he finally answers. 
You give a short laughter. “If they turn out to be green, I think I’d shit my pants.”
“I don’t think they’re green. So you’re safe.”
His fingers cradle your skin. They flex, wanting to curl, like he can’t keep a tight enough grip around you but knowing not to hold too tight. You kiss along his collarbone, even over the silver fern. “I’m stealing the Empathy hoodie tomorrow.”
“What if I wanted to wear it huh?”
“Well, too damn bad,” you return. Sleep is pulling at the edges of your consciousness but you’re determined not to sleep before Calum. “At least I know I won’t lose it.”
“It was just buried in my closet, give me a break.”
“For months! I was positive I’d never see it again.” He can feel your breathing evening out against his chest. But the wisp of your breathe over his skin lets him know you’re still awake. “You come back incarnated as a bird, right?” He hums, to let you know he’s listening. “What do you want to come back as?”
“I’m not sure we necessarily get to choose.”
“Just humor me,” you mutter, inhaling the scent of his body wash, musky but wholly Calum in your nostrils. 
“Hmm, owl, maybe? My bird knowledge is lacking.” As he answers, you can hear the small pauses between the words. Like sleep might be finally grasping at him. 
“I can see it.”
“What about you?”
“Sparrow, maybe a Horned Lark.” 
“A Lark?” Calum asks, his body starts to outweigh his brain. Though it’s still heavy emotionally, maybe some release is better than holding it all in. 
“I said what I said,” you giggle, unsure of how to describe the light brown bird. 
The silence stretches on. Part of you waiting for Calum to have something else to say, another question primed on his lips, or a smart retort. It’s not easy. Having a long stretches of bad days, no energy, barely finding any strength to even feel remotely human. It’s exhausting. It’s draining. It’s natural to find the lows and feel like you’re sinking even lower. But you claw for those good days. 
Soon you’re positive he’s asleep. “I’m good,” you whisper. “The good days are right now.”
Calum hums at the sound of your voice, lips barely parting to move and form the words as sleep finally takes him completely under. 
-H
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breakingtanaka · 4 years
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DisabledSOS Day Masterlist
This has taken me a while to put together, I know, but here it is. Here’s the masterlist of all the writing from my event on April 4, 2020 to encourage more disability-inclusive writing. Thank you to everyone who participated and supported in any way. Please let me know if I missed anything!
A Sign of Love by vipclifford (hearing loss)
Loving Blindly by lucidlrh (retinitis pigmentosa)
Adjusting by starbandit (type 1 diabetes)
Hashimoto’s by burncrashbromance (Hashimoto’s thyroiditis)
Exhausted by cherryredhemmings (chronic fatigue syndrome)
Untitled by zairapvrker (multiple sclerosis)
One Hundred Sleepless Nights by be-ready-when-i-say-go (chronic pain)
Emergency by hemmingsmendess (diabetes)
I Don’t Feel Sorry for You (part 1) and The Date (part 2) by lovelywordsblog (cerebral palsy)
Miss Independent by calum-uncrowned (diabetes)
Color It for Me by emitheduck (vision loss)
Walking After You by my-wldflwr (amputee)
Wake Up, Sunshine / part 2 / part 3 by calumance (car accident)
I Want to Live (seizures and Through It All (cancer) by gigglyirwin
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