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explainslowly · 1 year

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is omegaverse about trans and intersex people?

Spending all this time reading and thinking about omegaverse fic, I really want to put more thought into what relationship omegaverse has to trans and intersex people.

Disclaimer: thoughts based on my reading of Destiel omegaverse fic. Technically not the birthplace of abo, but you couldn't pay me enough to make me read J2, so close enough.

I think a fairly commonly held opinion is that omegaverse is simply transphobic/anti-intersex. I don't exactly agree with that 100% these days, because I want to investigate and think through what the popularity and content of omegaverse says about attitutes towards intersex/trans people more deeply, but I also don't begrudge anyone that opinion. I mean, it was my reaction too, for years.

Read a few omegaverse fics, especially the straightforward porn ones, and it becomes pretty clear pretty fast that these stories are very horny about trans and intersex bodies and genders but like, without anyone even breathing or thinking those words. M/M A/O is often like: what if a man had a vagina. What if a woman was amab. What if a man could get pregnant. What if intersex variations were even more common than they already are (which is - more common than you might think) and were publicly recognized as existing separate genders (yeah they are mostly kinda sci-fi, but also even in our very much existing, very much mundane world there exist people with all kinds of bodies and expressions of reproductive organs). And then the stories are about such people being super desirable and hot.

It has it's charms, but of course it's not that simple.

Considering the history and consequences of chaserism and fetishistic pornographic depiction of marginalized people, the hostility that a lot of trans/intersex people feel about the omegaverse is pretty understandable. Like, being into forcefem/sissy porn (which, lbr, a loooot of omegaverse writers clearly are) does not automatically make you an ally nor does the popularity of this kink make world less hostile to transfem people. The painful tension between desires that are covert and violence that is overt is present within this space just as much as it is everywhere else.

First, the majority of fandom does not have interest in acknowledging the existence of trans/intersex people within their stories. That itself is a form of violence, I hope we can all agree. Like erasing our existence (often quite nastily!) is bad.

Second, the stories themselves often include intersex themes in some form. Protagonist having a nonstandard issue of reproductive organs (whether by being the only human omega etc, or just having a nonstandard set within the world) is something I have seen enough to call it a somewhat common trope. It is never called an intersex condition within the text, but it seems to me that it clearly is just that. It's kind of a mixed bag as you might imagine, because it seems usually written out of ignorance about the real world equivalents and often with fetishy or tragedy porn undertones, but it also can be based in interest and compassion.

Transition seems to only come up in the form of 'bitching (if you are not aware, it's the term for an alpha turning another alpha into an omega, usually by knotting them) which is the omegaverse flavor of forcefem/sissyfication which I feel has been analyzed to death, and I don't think I have anything interesting to add there.

Last few years, there has been an uptick in writing about trans people (less so with intersex ppl, afaik), mostly *by* trans people, but it's still a drop in the bucket in comparrison to the amounts of omegaverse writing. Trans/intersex people are haunting fanfic, our bodies arranged and presented to be consumed for erotic pleasure, while we are never given the courtesy of having our experiences named. It's a weird, disorienting experience, much like existing in a society which is living in fear of gender transgression and body non-normativity, while at the same time furiously dennying it's existince. It's sickening. It's madening. I don't like it!!

This post is already way too long so I might end it here. I still want to look more closely at the expression of desire but I might think on that a little more.

#omegaverse studies #this could also be just titled 'why existing along omegaverse makes me feel a bit insane as a trans person'

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sereniv · 2 years

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Hi I saw your comment under a post about blood quantum and native and reconnecting and I just wanted to ask realistically when do you think you shouldn’t reconnect? I know blood quantum isn’t something we should go by but realistically when should you not reconnect and just learn to accept that you had native ancestry. I’m asking because I wanted to reconnect but I have really really low quantum and I’m a bit scared if it’s my place to reconnect even though I deeply want to.

How i go about it is 1. theres tribes that accept as low as 1/16th BQ, so in terms of low you could say 'that low', but that tends to still leave people out like the descendents of slaves owned by some tribes, who i believe have the right to call themselves by that tribes name and reconnect, that of which also goes for those adopted into tribes.

but 2. most importantly is your reasoning and draw towards wanting to reconnect (and a few other criteria ill mention in a minute)

A lot of people with these questions or wanting to reconnect either are people who just did a dna test, have newly/"newly" obtained info from family, or both (like me). And though the initial feeling can be a swirl of emotions to sadness to anger to feeling like the last puzzle piece to also feeling shame, the first thing to do is to sit with yourself and go through these emotions and figure out why you are feeling them.

Because like i tell everyone, new information about family and heritage and a whole culture can make you feel like the next step is to be part of that culture and claim it, especially if its its like a missing puzzle piece.

But whatever percentage you are, one should first look at the percentage theyve already known themselves to be (or the 'default' in terms of white ppl), like italian or swedish or french- and feel pride in those. explore that- but also you need to ask yourself why you want to explore and if claiming that is also necessary (more on that later)

because when it comes to whiteness it is seen as the default. Youre french so youre 'just french' or 'just norwegian'. But these identities have full cultures and history and language and foods and songs and a 'community' to explore

and if you are neglecting that or have no interest then you have to ask yourself why. But also again, if you want to pursue and claim, ask yourself why.

So you find pride in that if you dont already, because a lot of people without a culture crave one, and because any whiteness (especially americans) is seen as default, any 'Caucasian' culture can seem like not legitimate? if that makes sense

Basically, If you are mostly white, be interested and pursue the cultures that you are mostly made of (im talking french, italian, etc. ashkenazi is a whole other subject and is complicated when it comes to race etc. also different communities/ppl have different ideas on whether youre able to even connect at all). And then you can move on to asking yourself what being native means to you

and this is going off of if you had no struggle before hand, as in identity issues- theres so many situations that i cant cover all of them. Theres poc who are already involved in their main culture. theres people who are white passing and those that arent. theres those that have struggled with identity their whole life etc.

so that out of the way: claiming.

lets say youre a low BQ and youre wondering if you should claim that identity or not- well theres a third option! and that is simply acknowledgment.

instead of saying you are native, you can say you have native heritage. And it might seem like semantics, but it helps with mindset and how you actually live your life and experience it in a way

Being native (among other identities im sure) is...living native? Its not passive, but its also not a 'lifestyle'. Its an embodiment, that of which is different for everyone, that you live. Its being involved and being present, whereas acknowledgment is passive (though you can still be involved)

Claiming is a one and done deal. You either are native or you aren't. You dont just try the identity on and then say its not for you.

Its so hard to explain bc its different for everyone, but this is why you have to sit down with yourself and ask why you want (or need) to claim it. why are you native? not why do you want to be native- not going off of looks or what you do or what percentage, but what does it mean to you

Some people come to the conclusion that it is honoring ancestors, in a way that you feel in your bones. Whereas someone who simply acknowledges their native heritage, honoring their ancestors is more of a 'least you can do' kind of feeling.

Some people feel being native for them is thr connection and the community. Being involved. Which you can feel with acknowledging your heritage, but its more of an outside feeling. Not outsider, just passive.

Again its so hard to explain, but once you explore your feelings you will know. The biggest way to know is to forget about all of it. And if it hurts to ignore, if its frustrating, if it feels like youre lying to people or to yourself, if it feels like an ache to not 'be', then thats your answer

i have acknowledged some parts of me like scottish and irish, that i feel close to because of my grandma and the stories but i am not irish or scottish. Its in me, its in my ancestors and im proud of it and love it, and there is a connection, but its different from being native and italian. Irish and Scottish just somehow always felt outside of me not part of me, and native ended up being a missing puzzle piece that i had always struggled with identity wise growing up (i was always told i was hispanic/mexican but also mention of native, my dad was a mystery so it was always something i focused on)

In my opinion, and this is utmost an opinion: Is that BQ, as we know, is a colonial construct.

That even 1 drop of native blood means you can at least acknowledge your heritage and get involved and care about the community or even specific tribe if you know it. But those with not a single drop (like descendents of tribal owned slaves) are also allowed to acknowledge or claim

The best thing for someone to do is just go through how they feel, look into their history, figure out what it all means to them

And that its okay to acknowledge your heritage, to be proud of the people who got you here, to be sad for the plights. But ultimately have no draw, no feel, no actual connection to the tribe or the community beyond that

And that regardless of BQ, if you are native because its something you are just not able to deny, then you are

The focus shouldnt be claiming, and again with the emotions one can get it can almost feel like theres a time limit due to the anxiety of the information and wanting to catch up on lost time.

But you have all the time in the world, especially if this is absolutely new info and you had not previously had any idea- to explore your feelings and see whether claiming the identity is a natural order of things, or if simply acknowledging your heritage is what is natural for you

So in short: BQ is not required to claim native, but to claim native there should be no doubt at the end of exploring your emotions. (ex. "I am indigenous/native. I am Diné) Otherwise its totally okay to be involved and acknowledge your heritage (ex. "I have native heritage/Im a seminole decendent, etc)

Sorry this is so long and hopefully it makes sense and is coherent i tend to get off track. if i didnt actually answer your question pls send me another ask lol!

EDIT: Oh id say you shouldnt reconnect if your intentions are crap, if you feel like being native makes you different or cool or whatever. Or if its something you can see yourself drifting away from. If youre going to reconnect (usually this means claiming the identity) then its something that is one and done. Otherwise you could hurt those around you that take you at face value if you were to just...stop being native.

So realistically, you do some hard thinking. You look at your past and your ancestors past. And you look at your future. You have time to figure it out.

#native #ndn #indigenous #ask #anon #blood quantum #long post #oyster

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squirrelno2 · 1 year

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Apropos of nothing but

The thing people mean (or should mean) when they say "product of their time" is shit like this Agatha Christie I'm reading rn, where she is clearly trying to call out antisemitism in the text but also turns around and regurgitates some pretty awful antisemitism as though it's fact, like - I don't know where overall her beliefs fell, just what I read, and there's real sympathy and an attempt to dissect the English Christian attitude towards the Jewish characters presented unless I'm really misreading, but it's also deeply upsetting to see some of the shit that gets said in basically the same paragraph

(edit: actually more of this feels straight up antisemitic as I dig deeper into it, she did write from povs of characters that she clearly didn't agree with at times but I wanna make clear that I'm probably going to be retracting my opinions on her good intentions here. The rest of what I say still stands)

And I think this is important to recognise not just so we don't put ppl whose work has cultural contributions on a pedestal where we can never critique them, but also because like. She was probably saying all the polite, progressive things. We can all say the polite, progressive things. That is what makes us products of our time

The thing that helps us transcend that in our fights against bigotry is to really look at each impulse we have when discussing/describing/characterizing marginalized people, and to say "why did I choose this? Is there something else I could do that would achieve the same goal? Why is it so important to me to tell this story, and does it convey a truth or does it convey a theory I have built about the world that I always assumed is truth?" I started writing characters of colour as a teen because I knew I should, because I knew the world wasn't as white as my backyard is. I didn't know why it would matter to a reader beyond that. I just did it because that is what A Good Author does, and A Bad Author ignores poc. It's not the worst place to start, if you ask me - deeply invested in your own status as a good person or writer and therefore dangerously self centered, but a jumping off point if you're willing to learn.

The thing that took me farther was the moment I realised I didn't know why I had disdain for certain things (in my case specifically hip hop dance was the catalyst but that's a longer story). I sat down and looked at those things I ignored and claimed not to like and found that I had no tangible reason for any of that. I simply had never looked for something to love. I have found, in my time in fandom, that many people refuse to look for things to love in characters they do not associate with themselves. They might pay lip service to a character being great, say they deserve the world, but in the end these are not the characters who get endless fics and meta and art. (This is most obvious with fandom racism but it manifests with other facets of marginalisation as well) It requires an active effort, and a willingness to step beyond "I have said the right thing, the appropriate thing, the polite thing, and that means I have done it all right" into a space where you know you may get it wrong, but always in pursuit of doing something not just right but good

Anyway "products of their time" still fucked up, whether they were trying to do the Right Thing or not, and we all will fuck up, but you have to be willing to step further than politeness, and really start to conceptualize other people as being just as wholly human as you. Nobody is the guest star in an after school special about acceptance. We are, in fact, all the main characters of our own stories, constantly crossing over and spinning off, and the sooner you realize that your kindness to somebody else isn't about you being the protagonist who needs to be loved but about them being their own protagonist who deserves your respect, the better. Don't say things because you're supposed to. Say them because you thought about what they imply, and because you stand by those implications - or don't say them at all

#pity and sympathy isnt enough you have to know they are people on the other end #writing #this gets so rambly but reading agatha christie does this to me theres so much awful shit even though she does The Right Things overall

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ailuronymy · 3 years

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do you think every disabled character in wc is handled poorly? i understand theres def some cases of ableism but at the same time when i hear ppl say that its usually bc the disabled cat wasnt able to become a warrior due to their disability. and i feel like ppl forget, that not everyone irl CAN do what they want after they become disabled. ex. someone wants to be an athlete, but their legs have to be amputated. a cat like briarlight esp i feel is p realistic and could be a source of comfort

Hello there, thank you for writing in. I’m going to reply to this question with a series of questions I think are a bit more useful, given what you’re trying to ask me. I hope that’ll clarify what is a deeply complex, multilayered issue.

Do I think Erin Hunter handles anything in the series “well”? Not really. I don’t have a high opinion of the work of the collective and, broadly speaking, I think every right note they play, metaphorically speaking, is an instance of chance rather than effort, skill, or intention. Stopped clocks are right twice a day, mediocre writers will sometimes do something cool by accident, similar principle. That’s not to say Erin Hunter hasn’t ever done anything on purpose--just that overall the underlying drive of the series isn’t so much quality as it is quantity, and speed of production, and it shows.

Do I think Erin Hunter puts any significant research into how they portray disability? No. I do not think it is a priority for this series. They’re not trying to make a meaningful work of literature, or capture a realistic experience of disability, or tell especially impactful or thoughtful stories, or even make a particularly good or coherent fantasy world. Warriors is a specifically commercial product that was commissioned by HarperCollins to appeal to a particular demographic of drama-loving, cat-loving kids. It’s not really trying to do anything but sell books, because it’s a business, so the text in many ways reflects that. They’re not going for disability representation, in my opinion. They’re including disability in many cases as a plot-point or an obstacle.

Do I think this means that people can’t connect to these characters and narratives in meaningful ways? No. Often I say that a work is completed only when it is read. Before that point, it doesn’t have a meaning: a reader finishes the work through the act of reading, and interpretation, and filling in the spaces and resonance of the story with their own values and experiences. When people talk about subjectivity, this is what they are talking about. What this means in the context of disabled characters in Warriors is that these characters and their stories can be multiple, conflicting, even mutually exclusive things at the same time, to different people, for different reasons.

Do I think characters have to be “good” to be significant to someone? No. I think genuinely “bad” (i.e., not researched or poorly researched, cliche, thoughtlessly written, problematic, etc. etc.) characters can be deeply meaningful, and often are. Ditto above: for many people, and especially marginalised or stigmatised people, reading is almost always an act of translation, wherein the person is reading against the creative work of the dominant culture in a way that the author likely didn’t intend or didn’t even imagine. There’s a long documented history of this in queer culture, but it’s true for just about everyone who is rarely (or unfairly) represented in media. Disabled people often have to read deeply imperfect works of fiction featuring disability and reinterpret them in the process--whether to relate to a kind of disability they don’t experience themselves but which is the closest they’re offered to something familiar, or to turn positive and meaningful what is intended as narrative punishment, or simply to create what’s commonly called headcanon about “non-disabled” characters who echo their personal experiences.

Do I think everyone has to agree? Extremely no. As I said before, people will actually always disagree, because all people have different needs and different experiences. What can be interpreted as empowering to one person might be very othering and painful for another. There is no “right” answer, because, again, that is how subjectivity works. This is especially true because marginalised communities are often many different kinds of people with different lives and needs brought together over a trait or traits they share due to the need for solidarity as protection and power--but only in a broad sense. It’s why there is often intracommunity fighting over representation: there isn’t enough, there’s only scraps, and so each person’s personal interpretation can feel threatening to people whose needs are different. You can see examples of this especially when it comes to arguments over character sexuality: a queer female character might be interpreted as bisexual by bisexual people who relate to her and want her to be, while being interpreted as lesbian by lesbians who also relate to her and want her to be like them. Who is correct? Often these different interpretations based on different needs are presented as if one interpretation is theft from the other, when in fact the situation is indicative of the huge dearth of options for queer people. It becomes increasingly more intense when it comes to “canon” representations, because of the long history of having to read against the grain I mentioned above: there’s novelty and, for some people, validation in “canon” certainty. And again, all of this is also true for disabled people and other stigmatised groups.

Do I think this is a problem? Not exactly. It is what it is. It is the expected effect of the circumstances. Enforced scarcity creates both the need for community organising and solidarity and the oppressive pressure to prioritise one’s self first and leave everyone else in the dust (or else it might happen to you). The system will always pit suppressed people against each other constantly, because it actively benefits from intracommunity fighting. Who needs enemies when you have friends like these, and so on. A solution is absolutely for everyone in community to hold space for these different needs and values, and to uplift and support despite these differences, but it’s not anyone’s fault for feeling threatened or upset when you don’t have much and feel like the thing that you do have is being taken away. It’s a normal, if not really helpful, human response. But until people learn and internalised that the media is multifaceted and able to be many things at once, without any of those things being untrue or impacting your truth of the text, then there will be fighting.

Do I think my opinion on disability on Warriors is all that important? No, not really. I can relate to some characters in some moment through that translation, but my opinion on, say, Jayfeather is nowhere near as worthy of consideration than that of someone who is blind. I don’t have that experience and it’s not something I can bring meaningful thinking about, really. That’s true for all these characters. If you want to learn about disability, prioritise reading work about disabled rights and activism that is done by disabled people, and literary criticism from disabled people. And as I mentioned above, remember that community isn’t a monolith: it’s a survival tactic, that brings together many different people with disparate experiences of the world. So research widely.

Finally--do I think there’s only one kind of disabled narrative worth telling? No. For some people, a disabled character achieving a specific, ability-focused dream is a good story. For other people, a story that acknowledges and deals with the realities, and limitations, of disability is a good story. The same person might want both of those stories at different times, depending on their mood. That’s okay. Sometimes there’s power and delight in a fantasy of overcoming seemingly impossible obstacles and defying all expectations. Sometimes there’s value and catharsis in a narrative that delves into the challenges and grief and oppression experienced because of disability. There’s no one truth.

To round all this off, I’m going to give my favourite example of this, which is Cinderella. I think it’s a great and useful tool, since for many it’s familiar and it’s very simple. Not much happens. In the story, she is bullied and tormented, until a fairy godmother gifts her over several nights with the opportunity to go to a royal ball, where she dances with a prince. The prince eventually is able to find Cinderella, due to a shoe left behind, and they are married. In some versions, the family that mistreated her are killed. In others, they’re forgiven.

Some people hate the story of Cinderella, because she is seen as passive. She tolerates the bullying and never fights back. She does every chore she’s told. She is given an opportunity by a fairy godmother, and she doesn’t help herself go to the ball. She runs from the prince and he does the work to find her again. Eventually, she’s married and the prince, presumably, keeps her in happiness and comfort for the rest of her life.

For some, this story is infuriating, because Cinderella doesn’t “save herself”: she is largely saved by external forces. She is seen as a quintessential damsel-in-distress, and especially for people who have been bullied, infantalised, or made to feel less capable or weak, that can be a real point of personal pain and discomfort.

However, for some others, Cinderella is a figure of strength, because she is able to endure such hostile environments and terrible people and never gives up her gentle nature or her hope. She never becomes cruel, or bitter. She is brave in daring to go outside her tiny, trapped world, and she is brave to let the prince find her. She doesn’t have to fight or struggle to earn her reward of happiness and prove her worth, because she was always deserving of love and kindness. The prince recognises at once, narratively speaking, her goodness and virtue, and stops at nothing to deliver her a better life.

Depending on the version, the wicked family disfigure themselves for their own greed--or are punished, which for some is a revenge fantasy; or Cinderella forgives them and once again shows her tenacious kindness, which for others is a different revenge fantasy.

The point? Cinderella is the same character in the same story, but these are almost unrecognisable readings when you put them side-by-side. Which one is right? Which one is better? In my opinion, those are the wrong questions. I hope this (long, sorry) reply is a set of more useful ones.

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rainystudios · 5 years

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Here’s a list of resources you can use to learn more about Japanese Queer history, literature, BL, Gei Komi, Fujoshi, Fudanshi etc.

fujoshi.info

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Edit: It’s honestly depressing that anyone I’ve seen so far who disliked this post and commented on it either went off on completely unrelated tangents, or assumed that I'm either white (I’m not) and/or not gay/queer as an excuse to talk over me. It’s extremely ironic claiming to be open-minded/progressive while removing any association of queerness from people who discuss BL/Fujoshi history as an excuse to talk over them. “You’re gonna say your as oppressed as gay people???” hello, I am a gay POC.

People who perpetuated the Anti Fujoshi narrative were terfs and you’re actually being transphobic by spreading their narratives. They call trans MLM fujoshi because they hate trans men and see them as “fetishistic” women. They don’t see trans men as men, they see them as women.

Just like how people who hate trans women call them “fetishizers” since the 1970s in western anti-trans circles. That’s it. That’s where it comes from.

These same people even censor Queer which was also perpetuated by TERFs as a means of excluding trans/nonbinary/intersex identities.

Either read the masterposts in the links or leave, but stop getting into fights with your own strawmen on my posts.

Sidenote, I find it interesting (and by interesting I mean disgusting & disappointing) how the term ‘Fujoshi’ has come full circle in western culture to mean: ‘rotten women, degenerates, women who ruin everything, women who are ruined/deviant/corrupted, Abusers etc. etc.’ When it originated as an overall general term for women who didn’t conform to conventional gender & heterosexual roles & standards in Japan. That was it. That’s all it meant.

They were literally considered “ruined women” not fit for marriage or regular society. It was deeply misogynistic & homophobic in root. Female fans were referred to as Fujoshi whether they were “exploitative” of M/M relationships or not. Simply appreciating or engaging in queer relationships to any degree was seen as “rotten” and deemed someone a Fujoshi. The term is NOT exclusive to people who are seen as fetishizing said content/relationships. It’s a reclaimed term still actively used to this day in Japan.

Western fandom has taken this reclaimed word that comes from Japanese context & culture, and weaponized it all over again. To the point where people don’t even remotely know what it means in historical terms and throw it around with smug abandon. To the point where if they saw a Japanese person use it, would likely unleash a full-scale hate campaign against them. I don’t know if some newer western self identified Fujoshi are somehow using the term wrong as well but I’m talking about the actual REAL original meaning & context that has only become present day warped in western fandom, and is used to attack women & lgbt+ ppl who dare mention the term. (Or label them as such to deem certain ppl as fandom undesirables.) It’s embarrassing.

I’ve literally seen people say ‘time to reclaim X series from the Fujoshis! :^)’ When the original author of said work they’re celebrating... Would be considered a Fujoshi...

Fujoshi isn’t synonymous with ‘exploitative nasty straight women’.

Many of these women were & are queer themselves and “BL”, Yaoi & Yuri works are all a means to explore gender identity, sexuality, empowerment, etc. Lots of iconic shojo series overlap with themes present in a lot of these works too. It’s not a coincidence (Utena, Sailor Moon, Fruits Basket, etc.)

Many people I know personally who also grew up with BL works, including myself later discovered “Oh I’m bi, I’m genderfluid, I’m nonbinary, I’m trans, etc.” The past few decades BL has still been ‘taboo’ for having queer relationships, but at least in western culture it was a “safe” way to engage in these stories when LGBTQ+ media was actively shut out from main stream media. People didn’t pay attention to manga or comics, so buying them, borrowing them, reading them could be done almost in plain sight. While most of us didn’t identify/call ourselves Fujoshi we’d still be considered Fujoshi, make sense?

I implore you all to at least do some research and read academic articles BY Japanese women & other older fans about these topics before subscribing to the misinformed hate-wagon and bastardizing a non-western term beyond recognition.

I also find it worth mentioning that Fujoshi & Fudanshi both refer to women & men respectively who are “corrupt/rotten/disposable” for enjoying M/M relationships in any fashion. Sexualizing men is seen as inherently negative.

(This is a side topic but there is even a whole paper (I dont think it’s been published yet? I know this because I attended a conference where she presented last month) done by Kazumi Nagaike who found that there are self identified Fudanshi men who identify as straight & read BL manga because its the only media in which they can experience a male character receiving romantic affection, attention and being comforted and cared for lovingly) They actively hide it though because it would be seen as shameful. Fujoshi & Fudanshi culture isn’t as shallow & degenerate as these westerners make them seem.)

But, there is no mainstream term (if any) for individuals who write about/enjoy or sexualize F/F relationships, and if there IS a term I’ve never seen anyone use it or make a big fuss over it to remotely the same degree. No “lets reclaim these yuri/lesbian characters from those nasty men >:)” large scale campaigns. It’s always women & queer fans that get thrown under the bus.

Here’s a great master post with numerous sources and further in depth explanations I would just end up copypasting so here’s the link instead

#journal #fujoshi

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banhchao · 3 years

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gah that post about manipulative people tend to frame themselves as victims!! a very frustrating feeling as i'd recently been involved with one. it's genuinely disheartening they'll cry and use those tears to gain support from people but then somehow manages to make other people feel like shit

how will they learn if they won't bother to look into themselves, using their trauma both as a way to justify themselves and a defense? ah!!

ASDFGHJKL ANON!!! I FEEL FOR U SO DEEPLY!!!!! RIGHT???

First of all, I'm so sorry you had to deal with a manipulative person. that can be a very emotionally taxing experience that requires a lot of healing, self-love and self-care to get thru. I hope u r doing alright and taking care of urself and treating urself to good things cause u really deserve it! manipulative ppl can be very toxic and emotionally exhausting and can wear down your self-esteem, your happiness, your confidence and your self-security just so they can bring themselves up. It's terrible; they purposely step on you to gain leverage in their own self-esteem and happiness, inflating their sense of self and superiority complex but when you call them out, they twist and manipulate the situation, reaching as FAR as they can to make themselves as the innocent "uwu" victim and YOU as the toxic villain plotting to bring them down. it's so fucking frustrating because as you said, it's so disheartening. you will feel so helpless because your feelings will be invalidated and you will feel even worse than before. they MANIPULATE U INTO FEELING GUILTY FOR BEING HURT BY THEIR OWN WORDS, BEHAVIOURS AND ACTIONS! how fucking sickening is that? and it's worse cause as they wear you down over and over, you start to buy into their manipulations and genuinely feel terrible for feeling hurt in the first place. u start questioning ur own emotions and whether they are valid and wonder if you are being "oversensitive" or being a terrible friend/child/sibling/partner etc for taking offense and being hurt. they don't mean to hurt you! so why should u be offended? when in reality, u have every right in what you feel and that anybody that tries to play victim and manipulate their way out of accountability of hurting you is a shitty and toxic person that shouldn't be in ur life.

manipulative ppl w/victim complexes can't handle being painted as the villain for even a single second so when u call them out, they double down and twist the situation whatever way they could to come out of the conflict looking like the innocent victim. they make YOU apologize for being hurt by them which is so fucked up. they cry tears and guilt-trip you into making you feel like a terrible person for making them cry or to gain support from outside parties, as you have mentioned. tears, as we know, are a dangerous weapon. manipulative ppl use tears as a means of escaping accountability unscathed completely at your own emotional expense.

your last statement holds a lot of truth. “hurt people hurt people” is really what it is. unfortunately, sometimes people holding trauma cope with that trauma by inflicting it onto others. as much as we can empathize with people that have been hurt and traumatized in the past and the desire to help and support them, if they are in turn, inflicting pain and toxicity on you... there’s no justification. there is never a justification of purposely hurting an innocent person for ur own gain. as u said, you can’t use it as a defense and justification to hurt another person and expect to play the victim. it’s even more complicated as the person they are hurting can have their own traumas and they are trying their best to be as empathetic as possible to the manipulative person... but in turn being blamed for making that person feel worse. i myself have once been blamed for damaging a person’s mental health further solely for calling them out for being manipulative towards me. i think... many ppl have had experiences where the world is against them and they tend to frame the person they hurt as part of that when being called out. if u call them out, they group u with the rest of the ppl that have been trying to bring them down. it’s truly unhealthy for both parties and honestly, creates a fractured and strained relationship consisting of walking on eggshells and second-guessing yourself constantly. that’s not to say not to empathize with them; u can understand as to why they act this way but still recognize that the way they treat you is not right. as you said, they need to look into themselves, process and reflect and wonder “why do they feel this way?” and “how have i hurt them?” instead of taking immediate offense and deflecting the blame. they will never learn as they will never even acknowledge they are being toxic in the first place. the key word here is EMPATHY. manipulative ppl do not practice empathy for others as they are too engrossed in playing the victim to understand how they hurt you. and anyone who isn’t willing to understand u shouldn’t be in ur life. them willing to not only hurt u but inflict further pain on u by making u feel terrible just to escape accountability... they aren’t worth it. we are far too precious to have to go thru that emotional exhaustion of being hurt and being painted as the villain for it over and over again.

anyways, i’ve spoken too much lol. just like u anon, i have been in a toxic relationship with a manipulative person with a victim complex as well. the only way i got out was by calling them out not only for hurting me, but for also attempting to manipulate me into being painted as the villain and them as the victim. it really is freeing to break out of these dynamics! it can be hard to realize ur worth in these toxic relationships and even realize u r being manipulated but i’m proud of u for recognizing that shitty relationship for what it was and realizing that they were an unhealthy presence in ur life. i love u anon and i hope u r doing well and surrounding urself with good ppl who genuinely love, care and support u. 🤍💧✨🦋 u deserve the universe and more. 🪐✨💜☁️🌙

#reply

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skyphile · 4 years

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prime numbers! ((emberoops))

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

THIS IS SO SAD BUT NO...... he would DIE for a sibling, and his parents dont have siblings either so he doesnt even have cousins,,, he longs for that kind of relationship so much??

he ended up projecting being a big brother to many people over the course of his life instead, and it embarrasses him so much when he notices it happening, it makes him feel so silly

i would say the biggest tugs of that kind of dynamic rn are maybe with colin especially with all the dumb fake animosity, while adrien is almost a legit Parental/mother hen feeling of being protective of him

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

ive talked about this a bit before, but graham was the product of an arranged marriage. his grandfather made his dad marry a woman from a prestigious family so they could keep their popularity and prestige and important connections themselves, especially as immigrants in a very racist country

his parents ended up caring deeply for one another, but not in a romantic way, and his mother was extremely depressed and anxious throughout her pregnancy, and after graham was born. she was nearly suicidal and grahams grandfather was only making things worse, so it was grahams dad who basically. decided to say fuck it to his father, bring grahams mother somewhere safe, give her all the money and resources and protection she needed to get better and pursue her own life, and he was super attached to baby graham and wanted to raise him all by himself

this early turmoil traumatized graham and when he grew up it was something that made him feel othered in relation to his peers, in addition to his race, his culture, his budding gender identity and sexual & romantic orientations. it made him feel deeply unloveable, broken, and incapable of love himself, it was one of the things that made him grow up very wary of the concept of marriage, and it took a lot of vulnerability, respect and genuine care and hard work between him and his dad to understand that the circumstances of his birth were not his fault, and that this was the best solution for everyone to be able to experience their love for each other the best way possible

graham has met her several times, writes to her regularly, and he treats her like a dear friend rather than a parent. hes happy for her, her art degrees, her girlfriend, and in turn shes expressed a lot of pride and joy in getting to meet this boy she helped bring to the world

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

graham loves his dad to fucking pieces

hes such a humble, emotionally intelligent and caring man, who from early on caught onto all the outdated and damaging aspects of the traditions of his family and fought against it time after time after time

he is completely different from his own father, who had very specific plans for him, and he just foiled them all!

with grahams birth, he did the best he could raising him by himself, thwarting his fathers enduring influence, and making sure this kid had all the tools to be true to himself and follow his heart no matter what. he isnt perfect and of course he made many mistakes, but he is always humble enough to admit when hes wrong, apologize to his child, communicate his feelings and figure out solutions together. graham has always had an amazing role model in him

the circumstances of grahams disappearance and then return after the trials of his own jumanji esque adventure are still difficult for him to understand, but he still believed graham, and he was the biggest force in bringing his son back from his damaging self isolation and motivate him to cook, to live, to carry on

he still remains ever supporting and adoring of his child, adoring of his new child in law, and just an all around amazing dude

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

what pockets....

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

if theyre not horror movie or game induced, then theyre related to his period of isolation, to being trapped in an endlessly dark, silent, quiet cold place

he may see himself as he was when that happened too, close to starvation, hollow and alone

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

during the time they were in their own jumanji esque adventure, completely by himself, unaided, trapped in some reality away from his own so he could put it together and slowly solve this lock puzzle until he got to come home again

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

hes usually ok with handling himself with crises, even when theres a lot of blood

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

bunnies! lots of sweet stuffies, including rabbits, pokemon and marine creatures

his gameboy and his tamagotchi too

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

i would say his biiiiiiig repulsion/aversion to dating culture in general? this is related to his family history but is also a big consequence of his aromanticism

he has huge trouble understanding all the rituals of people jumping into commitments and weird expectations and fleeting obsessions when most of the time they dont even have a solid foundation of time, vulnerability and trust to even call themselves a good friendship, especially in people who he sees jump into the same pitfalls over and over?

ultimately he understands that his own circumstances are important differences in how people shape their relationships, but it still makes him extremely secondhand anxious, especially because in his experience as an observer rushed things and pushed expectations make for very volatile and intense disappointments that end up hurting him a lot too, and hes kinda very tired of that

nonetheless, this has made him grow distant of friends in the past, and while he regrets some of it and wishes it was easier to compromise and be more comfortable about it, he also knows that he was right about many situations and ultimately it was a better idea not to get involved and trust his gut

What does your character dislike in other people?

nonsensical violence, general assholery, unwillingness to listen, lack of consideration for others, being treated as someone useful for stuff he knows or tools he has or things he can give and then being discarded, he also feels very peeved when people sexualize him when hes talked about his nudity before and how it relates with growing comfort with his self image

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

i would say so, yes!! working on video games, pro cuddling and cooking for others are definitely pinnacles of things hes always thought would bring others joy

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

home... close to kes, taking a deep breath in their little home, with their little family, and feeling wholly, intrinsically belonging...

similar locations are for example when his dad throws a party and graham gets to invite all his best friends and everyone just has a lovely time laughing and eating together. game streams are a similar venture too!!

but at the end of the day, coming home, kicking off shoes and clothes, snuggling up to his starlight and their babies? pure bliss

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

i still dont understand what this means,,,,

he does not have honor OR status SOBS

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

oh it is a constant cycle of tremendous happiness and having to pinch himself bc hes so scared hes still in the silent cold dark alone... hes always trying to do better to keep earning this. hes a bit better about it now, he understand ppl are here bc they want to, but yknow. brain trauma still does things sometimes.

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

nope! but his dad moods are soooo big now. he just wants to protect kids and be a good influence...

#ooc #headcanon #HERE WE GO....#suicide ideation #mothers ment #fathers ment #parents ment #unreality #Anonymous

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asiryn · 5 years

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Healing Vision Headcanons: Olette/Xion/Namine/Sora/Riku Edition

will be putting this behind a cut for the length. will contain a bit of kh3 spoilers behind the cut. refer to this post for background knowledge about this verse.

as indicated by the title, this post will all be about that ship, and the subset ships of olette/namine, xion/namine, xion/olette, sora/riku, and sora/namine.

- namette, namishi, xiolette, soriku, and sonami will all be romantic ships

- olette/sora, olette/riku, xion/sora, rikushi, and namiku will all be more on the queerplatonic end of the spectrum

- sora is pan; riku is gay; olette is a lesbian; xion is a lesbian demisexual; namine is a demiromantic ace

- xion is intersex, but i’m still deciding between her either being a trans girl or nonbinary; i’m similarly undecided about namine, tho for her i’m deciding between bigender or nonbinary

- originally in the HV, soriku and namixiolette were going remain separate. but then i played kh3, and my sonami feels were really reawakened with a vengeance; when i went to look up fanfic for the ship, i was distressed to see that the majority of them were all alternative CoM angst endings---there was pretty much no fluff, none where sora and namine just got to be happy together. so---i’m being the change that i want to see in the world :3

- many years ago now (o.o ...god saying that makes me feel old), i wrote an olette/namine fanfic, which essentially details how i think they could have met in the canon verse, and even now it’s still essentially my headcanon. this is a bit of a spoiler for the end of that fic, but namine ends up having to wipe herself from olette’s memory. in the HV, when olette sees namine again for the first time after kh3, all her memories come back, and she remembers her again

- xion and namine bond over their similar experiences of being forgotten by the ppl they cared about

- part of the reason that xion and namine are drawn to olette is bc, compared to most of the ppl they’ve known, she’s so simple and uncomplicated; she’s warm, genuine, honest, easygoing, affectionate, and compassionate, and so she’s like a breath of fresh air to them

- sora’s feelings for riku have been present for a long time, though before the events of the series, he was a bit oblivious to the true, romantic nature of those feelings, mostly bc he just didn’t really dwell on it that much. all he knew was that riku was his favorite person to be around, and he was content w/ that

- but as they grew older, and especially as riku hit puberty, riku’s relationships with both sora and kairi started to take a downward swing. riku started getting very jealous of sora and kairi’s relationship, bc he was realizing that he was in love with sora, and wanted all of sora’s attention to himself, especially romantically. but riku was also experiencing an incredible amount of internalized homophobia, and he started lashing out at sora, which drove sora into spending more time with kairi

- riku’s parents were extremely homophobic, and so riku grew up knowing from a pretty young age that he was in love w/ sora, and also that those feelings were Wrong, but no matter how much he tried to ignore them, they never went away. and as he grew up, riku knew perfectly well that his parents would kick him out, at best, if they found out he was gay, and so he grew up with a crippling fear of abandonment, and he especially became terrified of losing sora too (riku attempting to share a paopu fruit w/ sora was partially motivated as a way to ensure that sora would never abandon him)

- ftr, when sora and riku are finally together and are going to go home after kh3, they discuss how they want to handle their relationship, and when riku finally reveals his parents’ emotional abuse, sora refuses to let riku go back to living w/ them. so first they come out to sora’s mom, who’s supportive and agrees to let riku live w/ them from now on, and then after they pack up riku’s belongings, they come out to riku’s parents and the community on their own terms (bc after everything they’ve been through, they refuse to be ashamed about this, and they know that word would travel fast anyway); riku’s parents react as expected, but at this point, riku’s done giving a shit about them, and so he moves in w/ sora

- (this is the beginning of hikari becoming the pioneer of what i call the gaywakening of destiny islands; she’s on a one-woman crusade to bring about queer education, rights, and pride, and it is 50% her being determined to be the most supportive parent in all the known universe, and 50% her being passive-aggressive as fuck towards riku’s parents. but the details of her crusade will be for another post XP)

- by the beginning of kh1, sora was starting to feel more flashes of attraction to riku. when riku first attempted to share a paopu fruit w/ him, sora kind of panicked, and thought that riku was just teasing him, and so sora tossed it away (riku of course took this as a total rejection)

- the next day, when riku brought up the idea of sharing a paopu fruit w/ kairi, was when sora’s confusion over his feelings really started. bc of general compulsory heterosexuality, and bc destiny islands was a more conservative community and thus had a lot of casual homophobia, sora never much questioned the assumption that boys and girls could only date each other (not that he had really given dating much thought before then, either). and w/ the assumption that strong relationships between boys and girls always ended up as romances, sora started wondering if his feelings towards kairi were romantic, and whether he did want to share a paopu fruit w/ her. complicating this was the fact that he really didn’t like the idea of riku sharing a paopu fruit w/ her, though he didn’t quite understand why, combined w/ the fact that he hated feeling like he was only ever second best to riku

- all of riku’s anguish came to a boiling and breaking point in kh1, as riku perceived all of sora’s actions as him choosing to abandon riku, just like he’d always feared. at this point, riku felt that he needed to be needed and necessary, and his whole identity was built on the idea that his friends needed him to be their strong protector, and he couldn’t really cope w/ the idea of sora not needing him after all; he latched onto saving kairi bc she really did need help

- as the series went on, sora became more fixated on the idea of kairi; she came to sort of represent the home that he missed so much. and w/ everyone else just assuming that it was So Obvious that sora was in love w/ kairi, he went along w/ that assumption too. upon his reunions w/ kairi and riku in twtnw at the end of kh2, and the wildly different emotions they each had inspired in him, sora began to realize the truth of his feelings, but he was still mostly in denial. when they were all home for a brief bit before the mark of mastery exams, sora was being confronted w/ the fact that his ideal of both kairi and Being Home weren’t matching up w/ the reality and things were awkward between them, but sora tried to tell himself that it was just bc they still needed more time

- all of this was even further compounded by the fact that sora fell in love w/ namine during re:com, and tho he couldn’t recall the memories of her, his feelings for her were still there, along with the aching sense that he had forgotten something important. seeing namine again at the end of kh2 really sparked and stirred up his feelings again, but sora had no context to understand them (how could he be in love w/ someone that he didn’t even know?). he kind of tried to convince himself that these feelings were for kairi, but he knew that they weren’t really

- obvs, after kh3, sora remembers (and thanks) namine; the circumstances of this aren’t fully fleshed out. partially it’s bc it’s tied in with my indecision about in what way i should alter the canon scenes of kairi being fridged. on one hand, bc i feel that the whole affair of kairi dying was entirely superfluous, i could tweak it so that she never dies. on the other hand, i could go with kairi ‘dying’ in the battle, but in a more heroic self-sacrificial way (maybe she took a hit meant for sora or someone else), and then there being an actual story arc where sora and riku go and save her. it would essentially involve them collecting the pieces of her and putting her back together (like sora did for himself in the final world), but with more...effort involved. and in said story arc, there could be an event that triggers sora into remembering namine, or something to that effect.

- again, undecided if i want to change the canon paopu fruit scene into being a sorikai friendship moment instead, or if i’ll keep the canon version, but with the reading that it happened bc sora and kairi were both still suffering from compulsory heterosexuality, and still trying to force themselves into believing that they liked each other romantically; if i go with the saving kairi story arc, it would be the latter option

- continuing on with ‘saving kairi’ story arc, in this version, when sora and riku go off to save her together (on a meta-textual level, it’d be a way for their story to come full circle: they’re back where they started, but they’re going to do it right this time; instead of having petty fights with each other over who gets to save kairi, they’ll save her together), sora still would have been in denial about the true nature of his feelings for riku. but travelling together with him, and actually spending time with riku after being apart for so long, sora will start to understand his feelings better

- riku of course already knows that he’s deeply in love with sora and is pining, but he’s trying to keep his distance, bc sora and kairi are ‘together’ now (and mostly riku is just resolved that he won’t let his jealousy get the better of him this time, and he’s determined to be the best and most supportive friend that he can be)

- romantic moments and almost kisses keep happening anyway, but riku tries to tell himself that he’s imagining things and reading too much into it, while sora struggles with acceptance of his true feelings

- even still, sora and riku won’t actually get together until after sora and kairi have some sort of conversation where they finally talk through everything and can admit that they only love each other as friends, and they finally put to rest their attempts to force romantic feelings for each other

- after coming to an understanding with kairi, sora will then seek out to riku finally talk things out with him and to confess his true feelings (and there’ll be a lot of happy tears, probably)

- even tho sora might be a bit hesitant to potentially rock the boat this early in his new relationship w/ riku, in the interests of honesty and full disclosure, and having by this point remembered namine and had all those feelings come rushing back to the forefront, sora will quietly confess to riku that he thinks he might be in love with namine too

- to sora’s surprise, riku’s quiet for a moment, but then tells him that he’s honestly not really surprised, as he’s always thought that a lot more went down between sora and namine in castle oblivion than namine tried to let on; at this point, riku reminds sora that he spent the majority of a year w/ namine while she was trying to fix his memories, and he remembered her heartbreak and anguish as she essentially worked to erase herself from sora’s memories, tho she tried to conceal her pain

- riku remembers this as being one of the big turning points for him as a person, bc instead of being jealous about namine being in love w/ sora too, he just empathized w/ her instead, and thought that they were/would be suffering the same pain of being in unrequited love w/ sora, as he thought they’d both have to watch sora be in love w/ kairi

- while sora and riku are off saving kairi, and incidentally saving namine as well, during that time, xion and olette are meeting and getting to know each other as friends

- xion and olette may have already started going on a few dates by the time sora and riku get back w/ kairi, and namine is given her own body again; sora and riku get together not long after they get back

- at first, namine is more focused on forming friendships; during this time, the person she becomes closest to is xion, bc again, they can both empathize w/ each other a lot

- during this time, sora and namine are trying to keep their promise of being friends for real this time, but it’s not quite working out bc they’re both kinda pining for each other

- all the while, namine is coming to terms w/ her asexuality, and she’s also starting to fall for xion especially, but also olette; namine tends to experience a lot of insecurity and anxiety, and she becomes terrified of possibly ruining her friendship w/ xion, and so ends up confiding in her all of her angst. xion assures her that she’s not ruining anything, and that she’s interested in namine as well, but admits that she doesn’t really know what she’s doing either, and suggests that they consult w/ olette, who’s pretty much the relationship expert

- olette is the one who helps namine understand her asexuality, and suggests the polyamory option; xion and olette have an allosexual relationship, while their relationship w/ namine is purely ace

- meanwhile, riku can’t stand seeing sora be unhappy, and so he goes to consult w/ olette, and together they arrange for all five of them to sit down and hash everything out, w/ the end result being that sora and namine will also be dating; their relationship is also purely ace, and sora’s w/ riku is allosexual

- after kh3, axel and saix effectively adopt roxas and xion, and they’re all living in twilight town now

- sora and riku are of course living w/ sora’s mom on destiny islands, and namine was adopted by kairi’s dad, and so now she’s living w/ kairi (at first namine was afraid of kairi being mad at her for dating sora, but kairi’s perfectly fine w/ it)

- if the ‘saving kairi’ story arc didn’t happen, then during the amount of time that it would have taken for sora and riku to save her, that time was instead sora and kairi attempting to date each other; when they realized that the relationship wasn’t working for them and neither of them were happy, they finally gave up on being in denial and called it quits. during that time, riku and namine were pining for sora, while in this version, namixiolette fell for each other at around the same time and pace (instead of it being xiolette first, and then namine coming into the relationship later)

- after sokai stopped dating, the ot5 getting together went down pretty much in the same way as in the ‘saving kairi’ story arc

- is it perhaps excessive that namine has two girlfriends, a boyfriend, and a queerplatonic partner? imo, she’s been alone and isolated for far too long, so i’m giving her all the love that she deserves (and she’ll also have ALL the friends; a few of the ones she’s closest to being kairi and terra)

- every one of the ot5 ships will just be full of softness and gentleness

- sora and olette.....are just gonna be such BROS to each other (in general, olette is just cultivating her butch lesbian #aesthetic these days). she’ll be like this w/ roxas too, but they’ll just constantly be playing video games and skateboarding; xion’ll be getting in on this too

- okay, so xion and riku’s relationship. during Days, when xion was absorbing sora and his memories, she did experience and kinda channel sora’s feelings for riku (and for his part, riku felt something of an echo of sora from her). so while she doesn’t experience those feelings for herself anymore, she still remembers the echo of it, and so things are a bit awkward between them at first (also riku still feels guilty about essentially coercing xion and roxas into dying). eventually they do find common ground and settle into a comfortable friendship (also, xion experienced the same thing in regards to kairi)

- for sora, he had a similar problem w/ xion, in that he experienced a lot of roxas’s feelings towards her (tho that was mostly the pain of losing her), so he still remembers the echoes of those emotions. but again, he ends up really becoming bros w/ her and olette

- olette and riku probably took the longest to really bond, tho they eventually did bc they discovered they liked doing little crafts together

- being both introverts, riku and namine find a lot of solace in each other when they just need some quiet time; olette and sora are both extroverts, w/ xion being somewhere in the middle

- olette does have some playful flirting going on w/ kairi, but it’s never anything serious. xion and kairi like sparring w/ their keyblades together

- if the five of them ever moved in together, it’d probably be in either twilight town or destiny islands. there’d be at least 3 bedrooms (one for if someone needed some alone time, one for cuddles, and one for activities that would not involve namine)

- the more likely option is that soriku and xiolette would each have their own houses/apartments (in destiny islands and twilight town, respectively), and namine would bounce back and forth between them. both places would have at least 2 bedrooms each

- soriku’s place is probably more of a cottage that’s closer to the seaside than the center of the mainland, while xiolette’s place is an apartment. namine has rooms set aside for her in both places, and her belongings are scattered between them. big things like her easels for paintings and canvases and things like that are at soriku’s cottage, which has more space than xiolette’s apartment, etc.

- sora, riku, and xion are all officially keyblade wielders/masters, so that’s pretty much their occupations. olette is probably going to be attending university soon, and namine will probably go to art school (probably just for the experience more than anything else)

- tbh, idk what olette would be studying at university. maybe business management and/or marketing, bc she found she really liked working at scrooge’s bistro and wants to take over it someday? maybe she wants to open her own small business. maybe it’s a sports scholarship. fashion or graphic design? idkkk

okay, i think that’ll be enough for this post. if i have more headcanons about this ship, i’ll be making another post for them, bc this one is already probably far too long XDD

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yenneferw · 6 years

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Can you please rant about jk Rowling she’s fucking awful with her queerbaiting, racism, and transphobia. Like I need someone else to validate me for not liking her

absolutely i hate her!!!!! this is a REALLY long post but she’s written so much and she’s been in the spotlight since her books got famous so like… there’s a lot to talk about i guess. anyway @ jk rowling get ready to be called out

racism

first of all on this valid bitch of an i hate jk rowling post, the ilvermorny houses. it’s like…. Big cultural appropriation of native american ideas and stories, twisting them to fit her narrative for harry potter and completely disrespecting their history and origins. the history she creates for north american wizards is shit too, saying that native americans would “primitively” practice magic until europeans civilized them with wands (even tho…. it’s like really impressive to do magic without wands in her universe??? like sounds like the native americans were way ahead of europeans, but ofc she twists her own narrative to make the natives primitive). her whole history or north american wizardry also apparently just follows white wizards immigrating to north america and shit……

this video is……. a really good poem on the stereotypes and fetishization of cho chang and there’s no way i can reword what the speaker says bc she says it too good so,,, watch it

jk rowling is also really good at speaking out about racism when she wants to on twitter and yet all of her canonical poc characters in the books are background characters. i know hermione is black in the cursed child play, but that feels a bit like the dumbledore thing to me, like they never actually talk abotu it in the books? and if she wanted hermione to be black why didn’t she have any protests about emma watson being cast? if she wanted harry to be brown why didn’t she have any protests about daniel radcliffe being cast? i don’t know if she had any say in that, but i guess she had a say in insisting that the actors had to be british, so if she cared about making a main character poc, why did she not have any qualms about the cast, even in retrospect, even respectful ones like “i love daniel and emma to death but in retrospect i wrote them as characters of color”?

like she didn’t have to push dean and cho and the very small characters of color to the side but she did. she didn’t have to stereotype cho but she did. there are no poc in fbawtft, or there aren’t in the movie at least – and if she’s so happy about johnny depp and can speak out about that relentlessly, but she wanted there to be characters of color in fantastic beasts, why can’t she speak out about that?

like the cultural appropriation is enough to see that she’s clearly a racist asshole who doesn’t care about the cultures of people who aren’t white, but it’s also clear to see in the background of her writing that she doesn’t care about research for shit if it’ll help to respect people of color in her stories, and she certainly doesn’t care to ensure that there are important characters of color for people to look up to when they read her books or watch the movies about them

transphobia

i guess she liked a terf’s article on twitter? like i dont’ knwo how reputable my sources on that were or if she meant to, but if she did, yikes

and from what i saw of the article it was Deep Terf Rhetoric, and tbqh i wouldn’t put it past her to have meant to have done that

i’ve seen ppl saying harry potter has transphobic aspects to it as well but i couldn’t find anything under all the times she’s “defended” trans ppl on twitter like idk i can’t take anythign she says on twitter by heart bc everything she does feels performative and fake af, and i haven’t read the books in like four years so i can’t say for sure based on my own memory

also she wrote a trans woman in a more recent novel and she’s apparently totally impulsively violent like wow great way to conform to nasty stereotypes about trans women lmfao

like esp bc of this i wouldn’t put it past her to be a terf

homophobia & queerbaiting

saying! dumbledore! is gay! after! the fucking! book series! is not! representation!!!!!

even if she HAD make him gay during the series, he’s not good rep??? he was a manipulative asshole who let a child stay in an abusive home becuase he was too big of a dumbass to think about a way around the issue so that a little boy could live in a home full of people who treated him fairly. so uhh?? the cishets can fucking have him, i don’t WANT him in the goddamn community.

but she thinks that she’s not homophobic bc he’s the only gay character who never even got to talk about being gay, who we never see in a relationship with a man. like throwing gay ppl scraps isn’t?? rep??? it’s queerbaiting you dumb bitch @ jk rowling….

she specifically said herself that werewolves are meant to represent diseases like AIDS, and characters like fenrir greyback are predatory werewolves who want tos pread around the AIDS-like disease, conforming to 1980s homophobic stereotypes against gay people for “wanting” to spread around AIDS like how can you in one breath say you want to bring light to diseases like AIDS and in the next make a character who literally models homophobic stereotypes with the same disease??

also, remus was supposed to be gay apparently, but he “changed and fell in love with tonks” like ok first of all bi people exist, second of all why would you write a straight person who’s supposed to basically have AIDS when that sounds a hell of a lot like “predatory gay man infects poor straight kid” like there’s SO MUCH wrong with that, and yeah you kind of have to dig into it a little bit to get there, but when you’re writing about risky topics and you literally admit to it, you need to be WELL-VERSED on what you’re writing about!! and to say you’re writing about AIDS is deeply mixed with gay history! and to say that the main character who is a werewolf was SUPPOSED to be gay and then pretend you’re NOT associating it with gay people is just… such cognitive dissonance, or maybe really ridiculous ignorance

also, dumbledore is dead. so even if he was good rep, and it was within the books, he’s fucking dead. another buried gay, fuckos! pile em up!

and i’ve heard there’s a shit ton of queerbaiting between harry’s son and draco’s son in cursed child? which like…. may just be subtext, but there’s a huge section of the fandom who’s all about harry x draco (i have not good feelings about that ship personally but to say it’s not popular is to never have seen anything in the fandom), and she must know that? like she’s not oblivious is she? so why would she like…. put subject between their sons? ?? it feels like it’s a bone to “hey i never gave you harry x draco, so here are their sons, who i’m also never going to give you”

also? if grindelwald WAS dumbledore’s bf at some point, what does that say about what she thinks about queer men? he’s deeply predatory and preys on credence in a very creepy way that plays on stereotypes about older gay men preying on younger gay boys, and he’s also a disgusting villain played by johnny fucking depp, an abuser (who SHE SUPPORTS) of all people. what does that say about what her mind goes to when she thinks about gay men?????

i don’t actually know her role in those films, but she has said she loves depp, what he’s done with the character, and where the darkness of grindelwald is going in the first movie and its sequels, so even if her role is very little, she supports what is being done.

also…. um apparently newt scamander created a werewolf registry…. a little honest to god werewolf registry in the fucking 40s….. ??????????? what r we supposed to think here, about a registry of discriminated ppl in the FORTIES…….????? and that’s the protag of fantastic beasts… cool it’s fine it’s fine

ableism

when talking about irredeemable characters like voldemort, she literally said that “whether it’s a personality disorder or illness” they’re not redeemable…. !!!?? here is a post on that subject with links to the sources of the interviews she said this in.

i don’t know where to put this bc this could be any number of things but i just thought about this so i’ll put it here: the thing that’s created in fantastic beasts, where it’s like basically a personification of anguish from suppressing magic – that’s quite blatantly a reference to any number of minorities, like gay people suppressing their sexuality, trans people suppressing their gender, the mentally ill and disabled pushing themselves too hard or trying to ignore/hide it… and credence was vilified and killed and the protags weren’t even… really sad about it?? and the ministry of magic never really THOUGHT About that they just killed him….. and that’s okay…. that’s fine… they’re just going around killing a bunch of KIDS who are inconvenient to them and who basically symbolize a whole number of oppressed groups. cool, it’s fine

you could also make a point that werewolves also represent the mentally ill, and all the same fucked up shit basically applies here

she also said that everything that muggles can get can be cured by magic, thereby effectively giving some bullshit reason for not actually having any disabled or mentally ill characters, also assuming that it’s not totally ableist to just…. “cure” all that? she didn’t say it specifically about mental illnesses and disabilities, but it’s clear to see that with her attitude on “irredeemable” mentally ill people, she would

fatphobia

most fat characters in harry potter are shitty people. the dursleys, pettigrew, and umbridge – all characters we’re supposed to find deeply wrong, the ones we’re supposed to hate the most other than, like, voldemort. like…..? a lot of the other fat characters are all “matronly” like molly weasley or stubborn and “lazy” like cornelius fudge who allowed voldemort to rise to power. like what’s that supposed to say about what she thinks the extent of fat people is? stubborn, evil, or motherly?

she actually has a character grow fatter and fatter based on how shitty she acts towards harry because of a magic mishap. she also usually describes the nice fat people as “plump” and “pleasant,” while she describes dudley as “so much like a pig” that he couldn’t even be turned furhter into a pig when it was attempted, or as a “killer whale,” or vernon dursley as “having no neck”

her fascination with abusers

exhibit a: she loves johnny depp, she loves him for the part of grindelwald, she praises what he’s done for the character, she praises his casting. he’s abused his wife..................

exhibit b: she loves dumbledore. he is constantly manipulating harry and not actually helping him get out of difficult situations at home or at school, putting him and the other kids in danger multiple times, not talking about important information to keep them safe, like??

exhibit c: snape. a fucking nasty ass creep to lily. neville’s GREATEST FEAR. like i dont’ even need to talk about this, we all know snape, dumbledore, and johnny depp are shitty lmfao

and yet she named harry’s kids after dumbledore and snape, like they didn’t fuck harry’s life up, especially snape, who terrorized him and his friends.

in conclusion fuckos

she’s nasty!!!!! i was going to do a section on sexism but i can’t find anything – i think she’s too much of a White Feminist to be sexist, probably. likely she cares more about researching feminist issues than she does about researching native myths before she steals them for her own gain lmfao. there is the fact that she supports an abuser like johnny depp, tho!

she is constantly like… going against all this on twitter too lmfao, like it’s hard to find good articles on her shittiness on the first page of google bc most of it is “jk rowling defends trans people against transphobic tweet, jk rowling defends muslims against islamophobic tweet, jk rowling defends [this group or that group]” and yet she includes so much bigotry hidden in the details of her books and what she says about her books. like i know some of this isn’t quite on the surface, but ultimately when you write a book with subjects you don’t really know about, your inherent biases are going to be apparent under the surface, and since she’s such a famous author with so many books and so much spotlight on her, if you dig in a little you can make easy conclusions/clearly see what she thinsk about minorities. so it’s really fucking annoying that she’s so “good and progressive” on twitter because it’s obviously performative so she can get the progressive points required for more people to buy her shit. like that’s the best word i can think of to describe her: performative.

#this took me two hours to compile please appreciate me hhhhhHHHH #i know i didn't source a lot but i can find sources if y'all want. most of it is me just talking about what she's said anyway #ask #anon #anti jk rowling #anyway let it be known i love harry potter as much as the next asshole of this generation but you can love hp and hate her

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laurellynnleake · 6 years

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serious question: imagine for a moment that a feminist lesbian calling a trans man female is a severe enough crime to justify a 3-on-1 beating of the sort we advocate for actual Nazis to get. what could any of your pals say to the feminist lesbian that would justify her getting her friends and beating them up? when they call her a "vagina fetishist" can she and her friends bash them? how about when they tell her she should be assaulted to cure her lack of interest in AMAB ppl?

here’s a serious response that you don’t deserve, because you are clearly asking these questions in the most loaded way possible and have already decided that trans people are this fantastical evil violent mob:

1) Read my post again.

2) Read my post again. Then think about how I said repeatedly that I did not advocate assault in the unsubstantiated version of events where a man (who you seem to think can’t have also been feminist because he’s trans?) and two friends jumped a woman (a poor “feminist” woman who isn’t at all like nazis who advocate and engage in the assault and murder of marginalized groups like trans people).

3) I don’t trust TERFs whatsoever on their version of events here. It’s most likely that the situation did not happen the way she claimed. She’s a pretty shitty feminist if she thinks she decides some women don’t count as women also. And if she thinks that a man is actual “a female” because she says so and therefor a traitor to womankind or whatever. It’s entirely within reason that she has lied to cover up her own actions threatening or assaulting this man and his friends.

4) I think trans people (and their friends) have the right to defend themselves against assault and it’s clear bigotry on your part that you are challenging that with these “but what ifs!!!” What if everyone involved was a feminist, what if everyone else in the bar was a feminist lesbian that wasn’t a TERF? What if she threatened the man and his friends? What if she’d doxxed him in the past and put his life in danger? What if she punched him first? What if his friends were protecting him? There are many very real possibilities here.

5) The spectre of an AMAB woman telling a lesbian that she needed to be assaulted to “cure her lack of interest in AMAB ppl” is a ludicrous and hateful hypothetical that you’ve cooked up because you think some women are secretly homophobic men out to infiltrate and assault you. Obviously cis men are out there who are homophobic sexist creeps and the long history of their treatment of lesbians specifically is horrific and wrong. But we’re not talking about that. We are talking about women. If you’ve seen “evidence” of this I think you should actually apply a critical eye and ask yourself - has this “evidence” been possibly edited to fit a narrative? Has context been cropped out? Is this person acting out because they and their friends have been sexually harassed and suicide-baited for days by a digital mob of TERFS and they are saying the worst thing they can think of to make them leave? All possibilities that are well within the TERF playbook that I’ve seen again and again.

6) Your dating and sexual preferences are your own business, and your own choices. No one has the right to make you have sex with anyone. But when you make your own sexual choice to only consider AFAB people with vaginas to be Real Women, that reflects a bigoted outlook on reality, and impacts how you treat people around you. It also includes a bunch of weird assumptions about trans women and trans lesbians in particular that is deeply homophobic and sexist and transphobic! Just like when white people decided they can’t possibly be attracted to or date any people of color because poc are sooooo XYZ, they are being fuckin racist. And when you join the ranks of the TERF ideology that, I will repeat, deliberately puts trans and intersex women and girls’ lives in danger through sexual and physical harassment and assault, assault, doxxing, suicide baiting, laws, and misinformation campaigns, you are being a bigot and no one has to respect that.

7) Yeah, if you think womanhood is only about being born with a vagina, you are objectifying and fetishizing womanhood and vaginas and being a jackass. Women and people of all genders are perfectly capable of celebrating vaginas and being attracted to vaginas and fighting for the reproductive rights of people with vaginas and uteruses while NOT being a hateful bigot. Oh look, I did it just now, wasn’t hard at all.

8) Since on top of all this TERFS have repeatedly allied themselves with white supremacists, I have no trouble treating them as I would a Nazi. You are not welcome here. You are not somehow privileged to threaten and abuse people without anyone ever fighting back.

9) Anyone who follows my blog who is a radfem/”gender critical”, or friends with radfems, I want you to think hard about the manipulative, hateful creeps you’re allying yourself with. You are welcome to educate yourself through the resources on my blog and on @queercomicsconnection, but if you think that you have the right to decide whether some girls and women are Really Females, you are wrong. Women are who they say they are. Nonbinary people are who they say they are. If you think the only way for you to analyze and dismantle systems of oppression is to enforce a rigid, scientifically bullshit binary, you are wrong, and you are going down a violent path. We have the right to protect trans people from your actions.

#transmisogyny #transphobia #terfs #radical feminism #writing #long post

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freedom-of-fanfic · 6 years

Note

hey um just a request, but you seem to use dfab and dmab often in weird contexts when you could just say women and men. e.g.: "any mlm that is shipped by more dfab people than dmab people." as a nonbinary trans person, a sex assigned at birth is not relevant most of the time, so could you maybe use it less when it isn't necessary?

thanks for letting me know your thoughts, anon. I’m pretty sure that particular example comes from the ‘my objections to anti-shipping’ post, which is pretty old now (though I reblogged it from myself today). I remember re-reading that recently and thinking ‘ah, I don’t think this is the best use of these phrases’ but I forgot to edit the original post anyway (classic adhd move, tbh). But still, it’s not the only example of me using descriptors that are kinda ‘eh’.

I’m sorry that my word choice here was inappropriate and may have made you feel uncomfortable.

my use of descriptors like afab, amab, intersex*, genderqueer, cis, nb, trans, male, female, woman, man, etc is constantly evolving as I try to be precise but also inclusive when I talk about experiences that are affected by gender (which, let’s be real, is a huge number of experiences).

under the cut I’ll go into more detail about why I think picking the right combination of gender descriptors is both really important to me and also difficult to get right without causing anyone harm.

(built in tw: descriptions of transphobia/transmisogyny and mentions of the harm it causes.)

because my blog deals almost entirely in fandom experiences and how they are influenced by negative outside factors, I believe it’s very important to address both personal gender identity and how gender identity is perceived/treated by others (especially bigots/ignorant people) both currently and over the course of their lives. but that gets very complicated, very fast.

For example, every gender experience will be different from one another even if they share aspects of their gender identity:

- even though all cis and trans women are women, cis women and trans women will have very different experiences of womanhood.

- to dissect this down even further, a trans person who realizes they are trans very early in life and is able to live as their true gender will have a different gender experience from a trans person who doesn’t realize they are trans until later in life, or who realizes they are trans early in life but is forcibly misgendered by people around them, or a person who changes from a non-transgender identity to a transgender identity as an adult, etc etc.

Relatedly, a person’s life experiences are also deeply affected by what gender other people assign them regardless of their consent:

- If someone of any gender is raised under the assumption they are a particular gender because of their agab, they will share certain experiences with other people who are assigned the same gender at birth. otoh, how it affects them will depend in part on what their actual gender is, or if their gender identity changes down the line.

- obviously, non-cis people have to contend with a variety of nastiness that cis people don’t have to deal with. I won’t go into detail b/c nobody needs that grossness, but suffice to say: TERFs, right-wing activist groups like FRC, and transphobes in general make non-cis lives particularly difficult, up to and including getting non-cis people killed. in particular transgender people (but this also affects other non-cis identities).

- other forms of misgendering also cause harm, whether deliberate or not. from outright bigotry to people who think there are only two genders out of ignorance to people who use misgendering as a weapon to accidental assumptions of the wrong gender, it’s shit, and everyone will have a different experience with these issues based on a shitton of variables.

- and if all of the above wasn’t enough, gender experiences are heavily influenced by cultural background, the political climate, racism, sexual orientation, and on and on and on.

(and regarding my * on intersex above the cut: i am not intersex, and while I have read/heard a variety of experiences from personal anecdotal accounts by intersex people I generally try to avoid commenting on it from lack of knowledge (particularly because some intersex people have expressed they do not view ‘intersex’ as a gender descriptor but rather as a medical state.))

These are all things I try to bear in mind when making a post on tumblr that references gender. here’s an example of the kind of internal debates that come up:

the Japanese word ‘fujoshi’ is gendered, referring specifically to women who enjoy/create BL & queer-eye fictional m/m relationships. It carries this gendered connotation both when referring to a particular fan experience* and when it’s used as an insult in English-speaking fandom. What gender descriptors do I use to refer to people who are affected by this?

(*in this case I’m referring to using ‘fujoshi’ to describe a specific fan experience in English-speaking fandom/primarily US experience. By virtue of being a different culture than Japan, the experience described by ‘fujoshi’ will necessarily be different.)

as a fan experience, I’d say ‘fujoshi’ can encompass the experiences of women and/or afab people (particularly afab people who were raised under the assumption they were a woman whether or not this was true) who choose to describe themselves as fujoshi.

women: encompassing trans and cis women. (trans women may or may not share the experience of being recognized as a woman/identifying as a woman while being raised, but they are still just as affected all their lives by messages aimed at women.)

and/or afab people, particularly if they were raised under the assumption of being a female whether they were or not: afab people who are raised as women are also affected all their lives by messages aimed at women, though that experience is likely quite different from gender identity to gender identity.

who choose to describe themselves as fujoshi: a person who was raised under the assumption they are a woman may share certain experiences with other afab people, but even if they experienced the same messages/similar experiences as other afab people who chose to identify as ‘fujoshi’, that doesn’t mean they fall under the descriptor of ‘fujoshi’. I’m particularly thinking of trans men and nb people here - unless any one individual says differently about themselves, I think calling a trans man or person off the gender binary a ‘fujoshi’ would be misgendering them - but there may be many examples of people who don’t relate to the gendered aspect of ‘fujoshi’ for many reasons.

as an insult, I’d say ‘fujoshi’ is almost always a mess of gender essentialism and misgendering. It refers to those that are perceived as women by the person slinging the insult. ‘Perceived women’ often include cis women and/or afab people of any gender, frequently including trans men, and occasionally encompasses trans women who the insulter sees as ‘passing’ as a cis woman.

perceived women: people that the insulter and/or ignorant portions of society would categorize as a woman without the person’s consent and regardless of accuracy.

cis women and/or afab people of any gender: a gender essentialist views gender as being synonymous with genitals (intersex people frequently either being categorized by the insulter separately or by whatever HRT/surgery was chosen for them). (in practice radfem ideology has the same effect, but they argue that gender doesn’t exist at all (only biological sex does).)

frequently including trans men: depending on how far the insulter is willing to go with their misgendering & often influenced by whether or not the insulter perceives a trans man as ‘passing’ as a cis man. (this may be affected by whether or not a trans man has undergone HRT/surgery depending on the opinion of the insulter.)

occasionally encompasses trans women who the insulter sees as ‘passing’ as a cis woman: because if they ‘pass’ they may be perceived as a ‘real woman’ (ugh ugh ugh). (this may also be affected by HRT/surgery depending on the opinion of the insulter.)

and now that I’ve settled on these descriptions, how do I condense them to something easy to read without distracting from the points I’m trying to make?

as an experience: “women and/or afab people”, maybe? perhaps “women and/or some afab people”?as an insult: “perceived women”, maybe?

(and I’m happy to take constructive criticism on this. I’d prefer it be sent not on anon so we can privately discuss it rather than doing it in posts on this blog (and if you don’t want to discuss your thoughts, just want to share and go, feel free to let me know - I won’t demand your time.))

in short: I think about a lot of stuff every time I pick gender descriptors on this blog. This doesn’t mean I always make the right choices - far from it - and there may not even be a truly ‘right’ choice. But I’m always seeking to be as inclusive and honest as I can be.

(PS: I don’t talk about my gender status here much other than to say ‘i’m afab’ because while I don’t presently identify as cis, I’m murky on it myself still & I don’t want my gender identity to affect whether or not ppl speak up about their opinions about my use of gender descriptors.)

#gender stuff #long post #gender descriptors #transphobia mention #transmisogyny mention #misgendering is a big problem #i really need a faq #Anonymous

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toycarousel · 7 years

Note

What is kin/kinning?

Ahahahaha~! I figured I’d get asked the question after reblogging that post. :’) Well, kinning in the case of the joke I reblogged, kinda just means talking about/being somewhat openly kin on your main blog. It’s a kin community joke, I guess. ; P

Now, what kin itself is, is a lot more complicated to explain, and I’ll try to be concise about it, because I know I ramble a whole lot, and I don’t want to make things even more perplexing, but I have a feeling I’m going down the rabbit hole here. :’)

***Essentially, being kin means that you are you, but also someone/something/some other essence or being. This conviction can be spiritual in nature, it can be related to mental illness, or it can simply be a person feeling like they identify so much with a certain animal, concept, character, etc., that they are exactly that thing they identify with~!!! And they use the term kin to communicate that to other ppl~!!!

***So, to boil it down, say a person refers to themselves as doll-kin. That means that, on a fundamental level of what that person considers their existence as, they believe they are, in addition to being themselves, also a literal doll. Same can be said of space-kin, ghost-kin, tiger-kin; anything at all~!!!***

My Personal Conception of Kin: For me, specifically, it’s maaaaaainly kind of a spiritual (???) thing (it’s a spiritual thing for a lot of otherkin, but they may or may not share my exact spiritual beliefs). I believe in parallel or alternate planes of existence that may have existed before, after, or at the same time as ours. In addition to that, I believe that creative energy (that writers, artists, original creators of any sort) draw a lot of what they create from the prior existence of parallel Universes. I think that they have the unique ability to tap into what Stephen King referred to in his novel “Lisey’s Story” as:

“...the pool where we all go down to drink, to swim, to catch a little fish from the edge of the shore; it's also the pool where some hardy souls go out in their flimsy wooden boats after the big ones. It is the pool of life, the cup of imagination, and she has an idea that different people see different versions of it, but with two things ever in common: it's always about a mile deep in the Fairy Forest, and it's always sad. Because imagination isn't the only thing this place is about.”

A related belief is that when someone comes up with a story, they’re either telling the story of a Universe that actually exists; or, they’re creating a Universe as they make the story (in some Pagan circles, there’s a belief that if you can imagine something, it already exists somewhere, and sometimes by imagining a world, we create worlds -- this stuff is all basically preamble as to what fiction-kin is, though).

And I know this is going to sound p wild to ppl who aren’t super spiritual, or who don’t believe in unproven/vague scientific theories, or who just have their own set of beliefs that clash will all this, and that’s okay~! I don’t feel the need to argue with anyone about whether or not kinfolk, therians, fickin, etc., exist. It’s a set of convictions that I, and many other kinfolk, have based on our fundamental beliefs, current spiritual beliefs, and deeply-felt instincts/intuition.

Fickin (fiction kin), which is more related to the spiritual beliefs that I talked about above, is basically when someone believes that they are a fictional character that exists atm. As an example of that, someone could say that they’re kin with Link, from Legend of Zelda, and that means that they literally are Link, and comprehend a part or a whole of their own identity as being Link.

Some common/reasonable misconceptions about what is and isn’t related to ppl who are otherkin:

Therians are often mixed up with kinfolk, and I am not very well educated on therians, so here’s a link as to what they could be defined as, by many actual therians (some also call themselves kin, and some don’t): http://otherkin.wikia.com/wiki/Therians (I wish I had a more comprehensive link -- if anyone out there does, feel free to send it my way, and I’ll publish it for anyone who’s curious~! I just don’t feel qualified to talk about it in-depth myself~!)

Alters are also confused with kins a lot of the time. Alters are usually more specific to people with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Alters can be characters, animals, concepts/objects, or individual personalities. They’re different from ppl who are kin, because these individuals exist on their own, but within one body. This state of being used to be called multiple personality disorder, to clarify (but don’t be fooled by media depictions -- they’re really not how they’re portrayed in horror movies and other things like that). Dissociative identity disorder is complex, and I’m also not an expert on it, so I won’t go deep into that one either. The difference between an alter and a kin could be very loosely described as:

kin = a person themselves, who has a singular consciousness, but believes that they are in some way non-human, or essentially different from how they currently live/present themselves.alter = someone else (or multiple beings, with their own personalities, lives, and memories) living within an individual, and who sometimes operate that person’s body, or “front.”

***I thiiiiiiiiiink that’s as short an explanation as I can make it, but I gotta clarify again that being kin is viewed somewhat (or even extremely) differently by every person who is kin. For me, it’s spiritual; for some people, it mainly means that they don’t feel like they literally are their kin, but they identify with whatever being/concept/character so strongly that they still feel they are kin; and for some people, they feel like being kin is related to specific ways of existing within a mental illness (I’m not mentioning this to say that kin ppl are mentally ill, or vice verse, I just happen to know a lot of ppl who do feel that they’re, personally, kin because of their mental illness(es)).

(About the joke I reblogged): Ppl who are kin are usually made fun of on this website (aaaaaand p much everywhere else), and a lot of us are p relaxed about that and feel comfortable with making jokes about ourselves -- I’m one of those ppl. I feel fine with taking the piss out of myself a lot, and that’s basically what the joke I reblogged was: a variation of a meme, but this time centring the fact that a lot of ppl reasonably don’t admit to being kin on their main blog because of the negative attention it garners.

I know I said this would be short, but goodness, if I don’t have a whole lot to say about the topic. :’) I did try to be succinct, so if a lot is missing (according to other kinfolk), pls go easy on me~! Feel free to send in your own experiences with being kin, and I’ll be happy to publish/talk about them, if y’all are interested~!

*******tl;dr: Here’s a link to someone else’s more comprehensive/direct definition and FAQ about otherkin, if you feel like reading it~

#I've been told I'm verbose and I'm trying to be better about that but here we are :') -#otherkin #kin #fickin #therians #alters #I know I butchered those last 2 defs though so feel free to step in -#ask to tag -#sorry I'm... convoluted... whoops -#anons #scotchasks

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crollalanzaa · 6 years

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Huhu, for the stationery-themed asks: folder, bookmark and protractor, please :D

Ahhhhhhh okay!

folder: describe your familyHmm, I’m the youngest of four, by quite a few years. I have two sisters and a brother. My bro lives in USA. My mother had me when she was in her forties. It was actually quite good being the youngest and having older parents because by the time I was going out, they were really chill and as long as I called them to ask for a lift, or whatever, then they didn’t mind me staying out. I’m the only one who is remotely creative but whether that’s because they repressed that side of themselves, or whatever, idk. I’m not sure where I get my love of acting and writing from, and I won’t be able to find out now. Should have asked, really.On the other hand being the youngest sucked because I was continually patronised.

bookmark: a book that means a lot to you and whyAfter thinking hard, I’m going to say Prisoner of Azkaban rather than Song of Achilles. TSoA is a better book, but PoA kickstarted so much for me. I’d read the first two Potter books, and was going to not bother with them because although I liked them, I was a bit bored with what appeared to be the same formula of Gryffindor winning the House Cup because Dumbles suddenly awarded them a fuckload of points. But I’d already bought PoA, so I read it anyway, met the Marauders and … fell in love. Honest to gods, the plot excites me so much. Remus and Sirius appearing in the books just made them that much better for me because here were some adults that I could relate to a bit better than I could Harry and his pals, or the teachers. They’d made mistakes but had that hope inside them. Vengeful but still caring so much about Harry, and … I CRIED!Also, because I loved PoA, I then read the rest of them when they appeared, and that led me to discovering fanfiction was an actual thing, and I’ve been writing it for nearly ten years now. So, yeah, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban changed my life.

protractor: an unpopular opinion/angle you have on an issue

Gahhhh, so many, but one or two of them would be misunderstood and my inbox would light up. (Nothing creepy or illegal, I swear) I’m trying to think which thing to tell you about …

Ah, okay, I reblogged a post the other day which was something along the lines of ‘Your favourite fanfic author is probably over 30′ and I added a tag of ‘yep’ to it, but I’ve since been rereading it and thinking about my actual preferences, and I want to add something.The thing is, my fav HP fanfic writer was/is actually someone who was in their twenties when I first read their stuff. She’s late twenties now. And my fav HQ writer is in their twenties. So, while I do actually agree that experience does enhance a fic and you can get a richness from it, fics and stories written by younger people can still resonate very deeply - no matter the reader’s age - I’ve read fic from older ppl that, imo, is twee and closed off, plus some of them used to pull the age card, saying their opinion mattered more because they were older. (No, it doesn’t work like that, sweetie). I’ve read fic from younger ppl that’s also very narrow in its outlook. What I think matters to a story is being able to nail the characterisation and pull off an absorbing plot. But that’s me, and I like certain plots etc and dislike others.What I will say, is that in terms of reliability - as in I know the writer will be writing something I will enjoy - those authors tend to be older.

Thanking youuuuuu

asky thing

#amalasdraws #replies #ask me things

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comicteaparty · 5 years

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December 24th-December 30th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from December 24th, 2018 to December 30th, 2018. The chat focused on Cat-Person by P.Lo.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Cat-Person by P.Lo~! (https://catpersoncomic.tumblr.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until December 30th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 3. Why do you think Neko refuses to go outside and has, in general, a grumpy attitude? Do you believe this is something she’ll eventually overcome at the current rate?

QUESTION 4. Will Neko and Eleanor be able to overcome the tension in their relationship? If so, how? Do you feel Neko’s attitude towards Eleanor is justified or vice versa? Will Neko ultimately ruin her dad’s relationship with Eleanor?

Delphina

(Content warning for anybody who needs it: Suicidal thoughts/attempts are a central theme in this comic)

So the creator describes this as a "serialized psychological-thriller". Neko is our viewpoint character, she's clearly got some unaddressed mental health issues that nobody around her is qualified to deal with, and as such becomes the most sympathetic. But it's clear that everyone starts from a deeply flawed baseline, and the creator is using things like porn addiction, alcoholism, and vegan diets to paint everyone in those "shades of grey".

From the about page:

“When a last-minute business trip forces DAD to leave home for a week, he enlists his eager girlfriend ELEANOR to take care of his reclusive daughter NEKO, which leads to jealousy, passive-aggressiveness, and… Bloodshed.”

So based on the tension, and clues being dropped around with Neko pocketing the key, and how controlling Eleanor is getting, I'm not expecting this to be a gentle healing story where everyone comes to understand one another. Things are going to go WAY south, perhaps physically and psychologically violent between Neko and Eleanor.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. Do you think Neko’s dad will be able to get a grip on his own problems, such as his drinking? How might his problems affect his relationship with Neko and Eleanor as the story continues?

keii4ii

I must say, I'm super impressed with how the art style and the repetitive format contribute to the storytelling. The clean style, the pretty but understated colors, the calm repetition of the three panel format... All of it contrasts against the turbulence and the ugliness of what's happening under the surface, and it's extremely effective.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 6. In what ways do you believe Neko’s life is reflected in the story she’s writing, especially given she mentioned taking aspects form it? What could that mean for the current state of Neko’s life?

RebelVampire

1) i really enjoy the first lunch scene when its just eleanor and neko because i find it to be a hard slap of truth in how communication can quickly go awry. eleanor is clearly well-meaning, but because of her personal insecurities about her position with neko and her own personal life beliefs, she winds up being pushy. but on the otherhand, neko is kind of a brat in general, even if i empathize with her more in that scene. but inevitably i really enjoyed the character dynamics in this particular scene cause they felt all too real and made my heart hurt. because neither character involved is awful, they just arent on the same page of communication. and that fact i think is really poignant for the darker tones of the story. 2) favorite character is probably neko's dad. because despite his own issues, he is an honest soul trying to balance helping neko while having his own life. he woefully underqualified to help neko, obviously, but hes trying at least.

3) i go back and forth on neko's decision to not leave the house. on the one hand, it could be hinting she might have extreme social anxiety or a form of agoraphobia. but on the otherhand, as someone who doesnt like to go outside, it could be she just doesnt like to go outside. not everyone gets a kick out of what the outside has to offer (often cause a lot of the more interesting things to do also cost zounds of money). so in a sense, i kind of feel it might be a mix? in that in general she just doesnt enjoy it, but that she does have some anxiety issues that doubly encourage her not to go out either. as for overcoming it, fff, it's not looking likely. as others have mentioned, she's really in need of some professional help, and atm she is not getting that. but as for the going outside thing, i dont think she necessary needs to overcome it. ppl can live healthy lives while staying mostly indoors. its mroe about whether it's hurting her quality of life. but i like the fact its not entirely clear in this regard, cause it makes neko more sympathetic in regards to her reactions to eleanor

4) I feel both character's attitudes is both justified and unjustified. as i mentioned with favorite scene, they both have their positive and negative sides. neko has issues but is also kind of a brat. eleanor is well-meaning but extremely pushy and inconsiderate. but in the end i dont think it matters who is more justified. theyre both right and both at fault, which is great because in general this is the gray situations we often face in real life. as for overcoming the tension in their relationship, eh, probably not. but in all honesty i dont think the dad and eleanor's relationship is gonna work out. i think at the end it's the dad's own unaddressed issues that are going to sabotage the relationship, nothing that neko does. but i do think neko is gonna feel like it's her fault and i think shes gonna feel guiliter about it then she suspects she will despite her general dislike of eleanor

5) as said in the end of 4, i think his own issues are what's actually going to ruin the relationship with eleanor. alcohol addiction leads to bad places and makes ppl not themselves. so i can only see it going badly. as for neko, i kind of think the same thing is gonna happen, more because he's not going to get neko the help she needs. inevitably, this story is on a downward spiral because everyone is sad and nobody seems to dealing with their issues in a healthy manner as of yet.

RebelVampire

6) before i speculate, i just want to say i love that the story flat out tells out neko's life is being reflected in her own story. because this is an element that would be left to reader speculation on simile and metaphor and stuff. but since this story is upfront about it, i actually think it makes room for a lot of tension building. since the story neko is writing is revealed in bits and pieces, this allows us to get the occassional view into neko's psyche. as the story she's writing gets darker, we get a window side view into neko's inner turmoil. and the more turmoil, the more worried you get since it's clear her mental situation atm might not be the most stable. now speculation, while i dont think neko is some secret killer of those around her through supernatural means, i do think shes reflecting the fact that she feels like a burden on those around her. which is somewhat interesting and also very sad. the extreme manifestation shown in her story makes me think neko has a very distorted self image. but on the otherhand, at the current moment its hard to say she isnt bit of a burden, though mostly in regards to her being a bit of brat just cause her dad wants to dad. but in a way, she kind of self fulfills the prophecy. and inevitably its just this cycle that leads her down a dark road that is overall very depressing but still interesting to see portrayed in this way.

Delphina

I was curious how old she was/what their financial situation is. She's of legal age to drink I guess, so she's an adult. Nothing like getting a job or her ever living independently has come up, so I assume the dad has that covered or is at the very least not mentioning that out of consideration of her mental health. But they can't afford more than one laptop for him to take on his business trip and her to write on?

And surely giving your shut-in daughter internet access would make life somewhat less isolating for her? Especially since internet communication has been established as something the dad does for support, it feels like a particularly odd situation. C'mon man, get your girl an iPad and let her do NaNoWriMo or something.(edited)

keii4ii

Was she actually legal to drink? I was under the impression that it was a special occasion only thing. (which isn't too uncommon IRL even if it's not legal?)

Delphina

I guess, but damn, that makes him an even WORSE dad.

They don't mention school or anything either, so I'm a little unclear.

keii4ii

Yeah...

Delphina

Regarding her writing, I think the dog/cat dichotomy that comes up in Neko's story that she's writing is a big theme (and well, the comic's called Cat-person, and she's named "neko" which means "cat" in Japanese). I'm assuming the parallel here is Neko is not actually the guy in her writing, but the cat. She's aloof, hard for anyone to read, stays away from people, gets violent. Eleanor's possibly the pushy, happy and over-attentive dog?

RebelVampire

i was super confused how old shes supposed to be, but i eventually settled on late teen based on 1) her general appearance and stature looks more teen/young adult to me and 2) a lot of the other stuff you mentioned. like shes very much being treated like a kid and not capable of being someone being independent. but to be fair, id ballpark maybe 17 or 18. so someone who is kind of an adult but not ready to be an adult by a long shot, which isnt uncommon for that age. i got the same impression as keii did about the drinking. that it was just a special occassion thing. neko just goes overboard and the dad doesnt punish her. which tbf to him, im sure hes worried about setting her off or something like that.

as for the laptop thing, i actually assumed that had nothing to do with their financial situation. i mean it might, but i got more the impression that he was protecting her and just in general didnt want her near the internet or things like that. which tbf i can understand that pov. cause as much as the internet can help, it can also hurt. cyberbullying is a real thing after all and we dont really have an established past for neko that lead her to do what she did. not to mention he might be afraid of what shes gonna search where he cant see. like what if she starts looking up "how to kill myself in [insert manner here]" alternatively, he also might just not want her to see whatever porn he has on the computer, cause id bet my soul he has porn on that laptop.

thats a good catch with the dog/cat dichotomy though. i didnt even notice it cause i was too busy fuss worrying over eleanor not caring where the key is

way to watch over neko, eleanor

Delphina

Oh yeah, there was a strip where he was doing some kind of adult chat and he deleted his browsing history before giving his computer to Neko, so he totally had porn on his laptop.

That's true about the internet possibly being a bad thing that he could feel he needs to protect her from. I think that sort of history of how she interacted when she WASN'T avoiding the world would really add a lot of depth to Neko and make her more sympathetic.

That said, the author has done a really good job of making the environment feel uncomfortably tight and trapped, so sympathetic characters might not be what they want for this story and might reduce the sense of tension we feel right now.(edited)

RebelVampire

yeah i def agree. it does feel tight and trapped. especially whenever eleanor is there cause whenever eleanor is around i feel like her constant talking serves to make the place feel more cramped.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Why do you believe the fridge magnets spell out helpful sayings like “ask for help?” Who did it and for what purpose? What is the thematic significance?

Delphina

I suspect the fridge word art is Neko. It might be symbollic of her own subconscious trying to give her advice, or her way of communicating with her dad about his own poor way of dealing with problems.

RebelVampire

(the archive for the chat on Lovespells is now available! @thisintermezzo https://comicteaparty.com/post/181479135680/december-17th-december-23rd-2018-ctp-archive)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 8. How do you think the title, “Cat-Person,” ties into the story’s themes and topics? What does this title tell us about Neko or the other characters?

Delphina

(Going back to a previous topic, it looks like the pages that were added in the last few days do clarify that Neko does have agoraphobia/fear of leaving the house and she is an adult - https://catpersoncomic.tumblr.com/)

RebelVampire

idk if i consider that a confirmation shes an adult. but definitely old enough to drive.

Delphina

Neko knowing her phobias definitely makes me wonder why the dad wouldn't have told Eleanor those things. It seems like the kind of thing that I would have told my girlfriend before she met my daughter? And I have to hope Eleanor would have been broaching these subjects with more tact if these were known diagnoses.

Anyway, yah, the title "Cat-Person" seems to have ties in with Neko's name and the cat mentioned in her story. The stereotype of cats is that they don't like being around others and feel crowded/lash out pretty easily, which fits Neko pretty well at this point. Since it's such a core part of her identity, I'm curious if/how it can shift.

RebelVampire

the dad might have told eleanor tbf. she very much comes across as one of those ppl who thinks all mental issues are something you can just get over. or even if she isnt, i highly doubt eleanor did any research about it and attempted to actually understand.

it wouldnt surprise me if he didnt tell her. tbh, i dont think the dad really takes neko's fear of the outside all that serious either

i feel more he just tolerates it but doesnt understand the full extent of the problem

cause he seems kind of willing to indulge and spoil neko to a degree just so he doesnt have to deal with everything

Delphina

Hmmm, yeah, good point

RebelVampire

but to a degree i also understand cause hes got his own issues to work through. and ppl who have their own mental issues arent the best suited to help others in a lot of cases.

well more in the sense that neither are actively working to heal

so just arent in good places to help each other

keii4ii

I was actually wondering if he didn't tell her because he's a terrible dad and was worried it might drive Eleanor away from him

But I also like the idea of Eleanor having been told, but deliberately acting like she doesn't know

RebelVampire

tbh tho i could also believe he just never found the right time to tell eleanor

cause these are not casual things you drop down on your girlfriend

although i am leaning towards eleanor just didnt care

cause clearly she was told neko tried to commit suicide since she wasnt surprised at all

keii4ii

That, I was guessing (well, it was one of my guesses) Eleanor didn't actually take Neko seriously at the time and saw it as a younger person being an edgelord for attention

But any of these interpretations are possible at this time

RebelVampire

i think that is a good way to put it tho

that is 100% how i see eleanor fewing neko

as some young edgelord

that and she strikes me as one of those ppl who believes sunshine and fresh air will fix any illness

modern medicine be damned

RebelVampire

7) i kind of assume neko did the fridge word art for no other reason that shes a writer. so just makes sense. though i kind of feel like her father maybe encouraged her to do it. like put some positive affirmations on the fridge of some sort. i feel like their significance is to show something like how even when ppl can know what they have to do (like ask for help for instance) the actual execution of that is flawed and contingent on those around us. so asking for help is not necessarily a for sure path that lead to healing. or something like that. 8) as Delphina said, cats are "stereotyped" as being creatures that lash out and are relatively solitary (i quote stereotype cause as a cat owner annd lover, nah, cats are bundles of terror and these are accurate descriptions XD). the unfortunate thing is that ppl tend to assume these same traits apply to "cat people." which fits neko, but i also think in some way it also speaks of how ppl are auto putting their assumptions on her. in that the more they assume shes gonna lash out, the more she does so, and then its just a downward spiral. i think eleanor shows us the story is equally about ppls judgements and assumptions of who we are, in the same way people assume cat people are exactly like cats. and in so doing the title is also talking about how neko is being put into a box that is not conducive to her changing even if she wanted to, because people are already assuming certain things about her even before she meets or bonds with them

(i hope that drabble made sense cause im tired and about to go to bed XD)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. Do you believe Neko’s father’s attitude and precautions towards her since her attempted suicide is justified, or is it more likely making the situation worse? What do you think will become of the issue regarding the locked up knife drawer and missing key?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 10. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

RebelVampire

9) I think Neko's father's handling of the situation is kind of a mix of both. I can understand taking precautions so Neko can heal without being in danger. However, he's not doing a lot of other stuff he should be doing to help her get better. As for the key thing, I think it's gonna hurt the dad more than Neko. Cause I can just picture Eleanor mentioning it casually and the Dad fighting with her wondering how Eleanor could be so irresponsible. Or something like that. I'm gonna be optimistic rather than assume worst case. O_O 10) I'm looking forward to seeing where else the story Neko is writing goes. I really love how tied in that story is to the comic's story and it really helps build tension and makes for a really interesting read.

keii4ii

I'm looking forward to seeing actual changes, be they positive or negative... or suuuper negative even. So far there's been a lot of establishing what each character is like (which is necessary, and done very well). I mean, Eleanor being introduced to Neko's life is a change to her life, but not yet a change in her character. I feel like the point we're at is a cusp of some real changes...

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Cat-Person this week! Please also give a special thank you to P.Lo for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Cat-Person, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://catpersoncomic.tumblr.com/

P.Lo’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/pleaseleaveon?lang=en

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic bookclub #webcomic book club #comic tea party #ctp #cat-person #p.lo

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kacydeneen · 5 years

Text

In Gender-Swap Photo Filters, Some Trans People See Therapy

Hit a button, and you're "transformed" into a woman. The beard disappears. The face and jaw smooth out. The hair floats jauntily around the shoulders.

"Yo this is SPOT ON my mom." ''Pretty." ''Are you in a sorority?"

Timeline: Investigation Into Murder of Pregnant Chicago Teen Marlen Ochoa

A swipe and another click. Suddenly you're a square-jawed man — heavy of brow, sporting five o' clock shadow.

"I look like my brother Jay." ''Hahahaha Suzie I'm dyingggg." ''My sisters were like, 'um... strange. You're kinda hot' haha."

Grumpy Cat, Who Brought Joy to Millions, Dies at Age 7

The gender-bending selfies accompanied by flip or sarcastic comments are flooding social feeds since Snapchat introduced a filter this month allowing users to swap gender appearances with the tap of a finger. But for many people who have longed for a button that would change them in real life, the portrait parade isn't a game.

"My gender's not a costume," says Bailey Coffman, a 31-year-old transgender woman from New York. "This story that I feel is very real. I lost a lot to be who I am, and I fought really hard for the body that I'm in.

In First for Asia, Taiwan Approves Same-Sex Marriage

"And when certain people post it and write about how silly it is and how goofy they look with this filter," she says, "it makes light of the transgender experience."

She and others, though, do see possibility in the pastime.

Some argue that the filter, which Snapchat calls a "lens," could be a therapeutic tool that leads to self-discovery and even helps ease the transition of people struggling with gender identity once they see who they could become.

"There are people who haven't found themselves yet, and this is a great way to say 'This is really affirming for me' and to take that next step," says Savannah Daniels, 32, a military veteran living in Baltimore. She says she realized she identified as female after watching episodes of "RuPaul's Drag Race" while serving in Afghanistan as a chaplain's assistant in the U.S. Navy.

Snapchat is not the first face-altering app with such a feature; FaceApp, for instance, has had one for years. But users of the Snapchat filter unveiled the second week of May have noted its high quality. And, of course, the very popularity of Snapchat amplifies the feature further.

Snapchat's maker, Snap Inc., which has drawn criticism for a Bob Marley filter some likened to blackface and another that overlaid stereotypically Asian features on users' photos, commented about its filter in an emailed statement.

"We understand that identity is deeply personal," the company said. "As we have and continue to explore the possibilities of this technology, our Lens design team is working ... to ensure that on the whole these Lenses are diverse and inclusive by providing a wide range of transformative effects."

Jessie Daniels (no relation to Savannah Daniels), a City University of New York professor and an expert in digital sociology, says that for people unfamiliar with the concept of gender as fluid — not innate and not binary; that is, not strictly male or female — such filters can be both radical and transformative.

"They get a chance to play with gender in a way that many of us who are LGBTQ have played with gender our whole lifetimes and understand the social construct part of it," she says.

That could be meaningful for youths reckoning with gender identity or, she says, just for putting the notion of gender fluidity on youngsters' radar. A survey last year by Common Sense Media found that 44% of teenagers use Snapchat as their primary social app.

"I do hope this does help some people better recognize their gender," says Elliott "Ellie" Wheeler, a 16-year-old sophomore at Michigan's East Lansing High School who, combining the words female and butch, identifies as a "futch" lesbian.

Because most of her social media contact comes with trans people, she says, she hasn't seen much use of the Snapchat filter. But she also doesn't hold the company responsible for any controversy.

CUNY's Daniels, though, wonders whether the filter is an attempt by Snapchat, which has struggled against competition from Facebook and Instagram, to win back market share. Snap Inc. did not respond specifically to questions about its business strategy, saying in its email only that "we regularly experiment with new technologies and features as part of our mission to empower self-expression."

For people who are finding the fun in the game, Savannah Daniels urges them not to enjoy it and then simply dismiss "actual living beings that are trans." She reminded people of that Saturday with a tweet under her moniker, "Miss Clean Legs," that went viral.

"These new Snapchat filters got y'all out here having fun with gender roles, joking about sex with your homeboys, and sporting beards with lashes. All we ask is that you keep that same energy when you interact with actual transgender and non-binary ppl."

Photo Credit: AP In Gender-Swap Photo Filters, Some Trans People See Therapy published first on Miami News

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