Crowley screamed for Her when he fell because She wasn't the one who cast him out, she couldn't have been; the love so bright it blinded him whenever he reached for it was real, is real, it has to be.
He did not scream for God or the Almighty, he cried for his Mother, the one who had smiled at him with a tenderness unlike any other and named him Starmaker.
They rushed by him, his stars, when he fell, colourful streaks blurred by the tears in his eyes as the grace defining his every cell left him, scream after scream. Crowley called for Her, seeing blinding white taking shape, and he dared to hope, stretching out an arm right before the flames of hell swallowed him whole.
In his weakest moments, curled up on the concrete of his balcony with his face bared to the sky, he tries to believe that a hand, slender and familiar, had been reaching for him. Tries to believe that She still loves him, that She never left him even though he left Her.
Crowley stretches one hand skywards, watching the stars twinkle between his fingers, and all he has left to offer is a whisper, the same question that ripped him away from everything good, everything light.
"Why?"
Every time, he asks. Every time, all he receives is silence, and then he waits until dawn washes away his creations. Crowley unfurls his wings on those mornings, presses them to cold concrete and metal in a doomed attempt to try and soothe the ever-present burn caught in his feathers.
If he closes his eyes, dizzy with uncried tears and cramping muscles, the morning sun slowly warming on his face, it almost feels like it did back then when he was tumbling through nebulae and constellations; rage and disappointment both so laced with fear they became one and the same.
Sometimes, when the tethers connecting him to hell and earth are two shackles holding him down, he thinks about flying as high as he possibly can just to let go and feel the air rushing through his feathers - so he can pretend there is nothing waiting for him, nothing but stars and more stars, and empty spaces for him to fill.
When he inevitably moves, his wings stiff but momentarily soothed, he remembers that he doesn't need to do anything at all to reclaim that feeling. It is enough to drive too fast with too much fizzling rage only to let himself be broken apart by his longing when Aziraphale is always, always an arm's length away.
Crowley lies on his back, the Bentley cold beneath him, one hand stretched out to the sky, reaching for the stars, reaching for him, his eyes violet, his lips familiar.
Sometimes he still thinks he can see Her reaching for him as his wings wither and his stars burn.
Sometimes he thinks he can see his angel looking back, his tears blinking comets burning up in the atmosphere.
Sometimes he thinks he never stopped falling.
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edit: now with amazing art by @ghoullerr 💚💚
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Statement of Lorreine Delos Santos, regarding a haunting dream from when she was younger. Statement given ██th of May, 20██.
Statement begins.
Reine, The Keen Eye
An intern providing information for various organizations, mainly to The Usher Foundation. Under the alias Khl0ros, they keep an eye on various websites, often on the lookout for distasteful individuals to terrorize and expose.
[ READ MORE for additional info ]
[ TRIVIA ]
aka shit I couldn't fit in
They're currently a 3rd year majoring BS in Statistics (nerdd /j)
In terms of personality, they're an INTJ.
Her DND alignment is Chaotic Neutral.
Surprisingly, they're really bad with technology. Shutting down your computer? Nahh just let it go on sleep mode!
They heavily dislike the head of The Magnus Insitute, going as far as referring to him as "Eliass Bitchard." When asked why, she refuses to elaborate.
She has at least one account running on every social media platform out there.
Their favorite site to use for "info gathering" is Facebook, since privacy doesn't exist in Zuckerberger's domain /j
Blackmailing is their specialty! They love seeing the look on people’s faces when she cites entries of their search history.
Reine loves to sleep, but that's frequently disturbed by her friend... who's an avatar of The Vast. He pulls a prank on her by making her feel like she's falling in her sleep,
Her left eye may or may not be missing...
[ BONUS DOODLES + FULL ILLUST ]
[ END OF ENTRY #074 ]
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i'm late to this year’s art review thingy bc I had a reeeally busy december and then left my laptop behind when I came home so couldn’t finish any drawings or get my files 🥲 anyway I’ve been reunited with it now so!!!
it’s been a weird but mostly good year!! i started my first proper job in the anim industry and moved house twice. there’s tons of stuff i wanted to make this year but couldn’t find time for bc of the amount of. everything. going on all the time. it was actually a bit hard finding art to fill the spaces this year, which is why i had to stretch my little amount of sketchbook week stuff over two months. it’s been a little bit frustrating - i feel like i’ve learned so much from my job but i haven’t had much time to do anything to show it, but i guess that’s the trade-off. it’s cool being a small part of someone else’s idea but that means i get less time & energy for my own. i want to try and strike a better balance between the two this year and i really hope that soon i’ll be able to share the thing i’m working on i’m literally gonna die of excitement 😭
it’s been really cool getting to make more content of my ocs and see ppl enjoy it, you guys and the nice comments you leave are everything to me. i hope this new year is kind to everyone and thanks for sticking around <3
some of these i haven't posted so to give due credit -
*feb was a gift for @ewwgene-fitzherbert of our blorbos <3
*september is fanart of @the-hilda-librarians-wife’s amazing OC meiri. there will be more
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