#death note fluff
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IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH: L LAWLIET
✩ ‧ ˚. synopsis: he has a high fever, but he won't let you take care of him.
contents: gn!reader. fluff. mentions of mild sickness. first time writing for L (my new hyperfixation!)
“ryu, you can’t seriously work like this,” you insist, tugging at the sleeve of L’s shirt. he doesn’t respond until you snatch the half-eaten pastry out of his hand. “i’m serious!”
L turns and looks at you disbelievingly. “i’m fine,” he responds indifferently, not seeming to notice the red blush spreading throughout his face. “it’s not bad enough to keep me from the investigation,” he adds, making an attempt to retrieve his snack from your outstretched hand.
“you have a fever,” you say pointedly, taking a bite of the sugary sweet. L makes an unimpressed face and sighs, posture worsening even more—is that even possible?—before he turns back to his computer.
“i can’t even feel it,” L insists, sticking out his bottom lip. you reach out and brush some of his hair out of his eyes, resting the back of your hand on his forehead. either your boyfriend has an otherworldly resistance to sickness or he’s lying, because he’s burning up.
you sigh and let your hand fall from L’s forehead to his cheek, fingers tracing his jawline as you watch him scroll through some sort of legal document. obviously, he’s not going to stop working without a reason, so you try a different approach. “L, if you’re sick, does that affect your deductive skills?”
L’s fingers still around the computer mouse, ceasing his scrolling as he looks back up at you. “i guess.”
“so you shouldn’t be working on a really important case while you have a high fever, right? or you could miss something.”
he scrunches up his nose in response and thinks for a long second. “why are you trying so hard to get me to stop working?” L asks, narrowing his eyes. he tilts his head in genuine curiosity—which is funny, because you think it should be obvious.
you shrug in response, a small smile growing on your lips. “shouldn’t you know already?” you tease, poking his cheek playfully. L looks at you blankly, giving no discernable reaction—like always. “you’re impossible,” you huff, crossing your arms childishly.
“answer the question.”
“because i care about my boyfriend. sue me.”
L blinks, a flicker of surprise shining in his dark eyes. he doesn’t respond, but he does stand up and take your hand, cold fingers tangling with yours as he lets you lead him away. “thank you,” he murmurs, and his voice is almost quiet enough for you to miss his words entirely. you squeeze his hand in response—no need for words.
he rests his head on your shoulder as you exit the dark, shaded investigation room. "can i have the last bite?" he asks tentatively, pointing at the remainder of his pastry that's left in your other hand. you laugh a little and nod, pausing in front of a flight of stairs to feed L the last sugar-filled bite.
L's lips close around the flaky pastry and brush against your fingers, and even with the added blush from his fever, his face noticeably goes a shade pinker.
"you're so cute, ryu," you mumble, brushing away the crumbs that linger around his lips with your thumb. he hums in reply, shadowed eyes closing as he rests his cheek in your palm.
"i'm tired."
"then let me take care of you for a little," you insist, watching as he reopens his eyes and looks back at the ajar door of the investigation room. "please?"
"fine. a couple hours, then i have to get back to the case."
"m'kay, m'kay."
(he ends up falling asleep in your arms and doesn't wake up for seventeen hours straight—but when he does, his fever's gone!)
#osaemu#l x reader#death note x reader#l x you#death note x you#l x y/n#death note x y/n#l lawliet x reader#l lawliet x you#l lawliet x y/n#death note fluff#l fluff#l lawliet fluff#death note drabbles#l drabbles#l lawliet drabbles
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♡ HOLDING HIM AGAIN - L LAWLIET
WARNINGS: fluff, gn!reader
WORD COUNT: 403
it’s not common for you boyfriend to fall asleep at night, the fact that he is trying to find the world’s most notorious killer is weighing enough on him to not allow himself to fall into slumber. it might cost him his health, but what else is there to do when he is basically fighting against time? how long will it take until kira find his real name out or proceeds to kill everyone in the task force?
but now when l lawliet is wrapped in your warm embrace as he has finally come home for the first time in a month, all those thoughts about kira is no longer on his mind, and you won’t bring it up either.
his face is pressed against your chest and his arms are wrapped around your waist as he lies on top of you with his eyes closed. he hasn’t slept in a real bed for weeks and has barely gotten to see you during those weeks either, so finally getting to be in your arms gives him enough motivation and energy to investigate for years from now.
“i’m gonna have to leave early in the morning,” L mutters into your shirt as his hands cling to you. he would love to stay like this forever, but that can only be possible after he’s caught kira. “but maybe we can eat breakfast together if you wake up early too?”
you nod and brush a hand through his dark hair that he hasn’t bothered brushing as he’s stuck in headquarters all the time. no one else except you or the task force see him either way. “i’ll wake up early too. at what time do you want to get up? i’ll set an alarm,” your boyfriend sighs and nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck now instead. “at four, is that okay?”
“that’s okay, i’ll just go back to sleep when you’ve left,” he nods and presses a kiss to your warm skin. “i’m jealous. can’t wait to cuddle with you all the time as soon as kira is caught.”
“you’ll have to make sure you catch him soon then or you might die from touch starvation,” you smile softly and he chuckles. “i might actually do just that, so i’ll try to catch him as fast as i can so we can continue to stay like this for the rest of our lives.”
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#death note#death note x reader#death note x you#death note x y/n#death note fluff#death note imagine#death note drabble#death note l#l lawliet#l lawliet x reader#l lawliet fluff#l lawliet x you#l lawliet x y/n#l x reader#l x you#l fluff#l x y/n#x reader
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asks are open!😘 How would L lawliet react with a shy I mean very shy girlfriend shes short about 5'2. And recently joined the task force to help her boyfriend
💕L💕
Omllll yeeessss! Another Death Note request! Let’s go, I like L too and I was waiting for him! Let’s do it!
Lawliet L
L was very against you trying to join the Task Force. This is definitely the most dangerous case in human history and you’re the last person he wants to risk to try solve it. He doesn’t care to risk his own life, but not yours
When L loves something or someone, it’s permanent and it’s strong, he was very against Watari joining, but he knows he needs Watari and the older man is not as included. L is a stubborn man and he won’t fold to your persistence
How did you manage to get onto the Task Force? L had no choice but to let you join, Light already seen you and his hands were tied by the members thinking a new Detective has joined. He couldn’t fly you out since it’d draw far too much suspicion. For the first time ever, the world’s best detective was stunned as he had to agree on terms he didn’t make
L supposes he doesn’t really mind having you around, it’s bad but not as bad. You’re intelligent, your skilled and you know how to handle yourself. Though, he isn’t a fan of you being apart of the Kira case for obvious reasons
Repeat it, L loves short girls so his significant other being shorter than him is like his actual dream. They are cuddle-sized and easy to keep track off. Even with how hunched he is, L is still packing quite the height and he towers you so suspect him to rest his chin on your head
“Aaah~ my favourite pillow has arrived. I am aware that I’m using your head as a headrest, you’re a suitable ‘small bean’ for the task. Why yes, I do remember what people your height are called and I’m called a ‘beanstalk’”
L is not a teaser about height, he’s a helper. You’re struggling to reach something high, he’ll get it for you. He will analyse the situation and suggest using a step next-time but at the end of the situation, he’ll help in anyway he can
L is a introvert so he understands your overall timidity. If you don’t want to be around the others, he will set up a private room for you that none of the members can access, including him if wanted. He has the money and power to do whatever the fuck he wants, and he is the spoiling type of boyfriend
Yes, I mean that L would send you money if you need it, he will rush around the headquarters to find your favourite blanket, he’s out the door the moment you mention a milkshake you’re carving. He will do stuff for you since you do so much for him, by merely being apart of his life and changing from him a glorified machine to a real human
The way you shyly approach him and Light to hand over the documentation files Watari gave to you whilst he was baking, is just so cute. Internal L is laying on the floor joyous at how adorable you behave, whilst external is politely thanking you
L isn’t built with any muscles(besides dem legs for real) but he isn’t above being protective over you, because he is. Light scared you with that one time he impersonated Kira to a horrifyingly good degree, L is gonna calmly argue with him then get into a fight
“Light. Could you please silence your strangely accurate impersonation of Kira. You’re frightening Dokusha— Hm? What reason do I have to ask of such a request? Well. She’s my partner in business and in life, she is important. Don’t do anything like that again”
L is slowly growing accustom to affection, please give him a break if he doesn’t respond or give it back. He does like it, he just isn’t trained nor knowledgeable enough in couple things. He puts research on those topics into his list so he can do better for you
Though, nobody else can do these things with L. Hold his hand, brush his hair, hug him. Nothing like that is allowed for anybody besides you and well to a degree, Watari but that’s different. You are always allowed in his private research room, most of the time, he wants you there besides him as he works
A cute weird thing L lets you do is latch onto his back. He does have a BAD back from the ten+ years of hunching but he loves feeling you clung onto him like a Koala. You are too shy to do it around the members but that won’t stop L from throwing you onto his back himself. He misses it
L keeps track of everything you like, do and more. He basically has a encyclopaedia of you and can recall every little detail. To him, knowing you like the process of scrubbing through hours worth of camera footage, is important as it shows how devoted he is to you
So tell him everything. He won’t forget any piece of info and he’ll write it down later as a needed backup, like he does for everything else non-Dokusha related. There’s two parts of his mind; Detective and Dokusha. He likes the Dokusha section a lot more
L is very loyal. Do you think he has anybody else waiting? Most women call him a freak for his looks and/or behaviour. You’re his one and only, he can’t throw you away, he just wants you sat besides him all the time. Where he can turn around and know you’re still with him
L shares his sweets with you more, as compared to somebody like Light, and you know he’ll get Watari to deliver whatever you want, whilst the other members get only what L requests for them. You are treated specially and he could care less that it makes him seem favouritistic, he is
L has a habit of mimicking you, kinda like a child. He follows you since your word is a lot more trustworthy. When you eat vegetables and meats with a smiley reaction, he is eating it too whilst waiting for your praise (Watari would struggle here, and he is a bit frustrated that his son listens to his gf, not his father
“Good morning— hm? I seem frustrated. Well… I am. Why is that? Don’t pretend like you don’t know the answer to that question, Dokusha. Yes, yes. I understand you fully. You don’t want me to die but this is my profession, and you shouldn’t be apart of this case. It’s too dangerous, you know how intense my feelings for you are”
#death note#death note cute stuff#death note l#death note lawliet l#death note l lawliet#death note imagines#death note fluff#fluff#boyfriend headcanons#death note headcanons#death note x reader#l x reader#l lawliet x reader#anime and manga#headcanons#death note characters#boyfriend#this man is the shit#he really cute#god bless him#he’s trying his best
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Picnics at Sunset - [L Lawliet]
Pairings: L (Death Note) x Female!Reader
Summary: You knew that You cared for Ryusaki very much. You knew you trusted him with your life, and you always felt better when he was around. You knew that you desired his attention and approval more than anyone else’s. You knew that he was beautiful and kind. But you didn’t know if he felt any of those things about you. You didn’t know what those things meant. Or rather, you feared what they could mean, and what that would do to the both of you.
Word Count: 14k words
Content: Swearing, Mentions of death, nudity?, friends to lovers, first kiss, Use of Celcius, touch of angst (it's death Note, come on), Sappy thoughts of love
( Masterlist )
A/N: I have so much to say, but I'll try to keep it brief. I'm sorry this is so long, but so much of this show cuts to long internal dialogues within a conversation, and I tried to capture that. I think I did well, but it is a little long-winded. I don't know if I'll do a lot of writing for this character, but he got stuck in my head recently, and this was the only way I knew to let him go.
You sat at your desk, the computer screen you had been staring at for the past three hours was beginning to hurt your head. You leaned back in your chair, rubbing your eyes; then silently cursing as you felt your mascara smear against the pads of your fingers. You needed a break and something other than a slice of cake in your stomach. You looked to your right out of habit, ready to tell your friend that you were taking a break and he should do the same, but his chair was empty.
You looked around the room.
“He stepped outside,” a voice said.
Behind you was Matsuda. You jumped when he spoke, not realising he was there, and he apologised for startling you.
“Yeah, we should get you a bell,” you suggested.
“Yeah, maybe so.” Matsuda laughed. “You know, if you want to bounce ideas off of someone, you can talk to me. I know I can’t come close to Ryusaki’s intelligence, but I’d like to think I have something to offer.”
“It’s okay,” you reassured. “I didn’t really need anything from him, just wanted to see what he was up to.”
“Well, I think he just needed some space to think. You know how he is.”
“That I do,” You agreed, “And I know If he wants to be alone, he’ll have no problem telling me himself.”
Matsuda laughed again, “I’m sure you’re right. But I have a feeling he won’t shoo you away. He has a soft spot for you.”
Just the idea of L turning you away had you put out. You crossed your arms, turning away with a huff. “Not if he knows what’s good for him.”
You heard Matsuda chuckling behind you, wishing you luck.
You marched up the stairs, down the hall, and got in the elevator, heading for the roof. As you made your way, you couldn’t help but admire the walls around you. The building L designed was quite impressive. You greatly enjoyed the glass elevator, preferring it over any others. Once you passed the tenth floor, the city could be seen. You were usually greeted by blinding sun and clear blue skies, but today, the sky was an enchanting apricot colour, blanketed by thick pink clouds heavy with rain. The sun was peaking from behind the silver buildings as if waiting to see you before finally saying goodbye. You waved to the people below, wishing them well on their oblivious wayfaring.
Soon you reached the top floor, and you pushed open the door to get to the roof access. The door to the roof was already opened, so you called out.
“Ryusaki! You out there?”
You were greeted by silence and tried again.
“I’m alone!”
Only then did you get a reply, “Did you bring any food?”
You chuckled, stepping out onto the roof. “No, I’m sorry.”
L stood out in the open, basking in the fading light and staring at the sky, unbothered by the cold air blowing. He was slouched over and hands firmly in his pockets. He turned his head to you, and the vibrant sky poured over his pale skin, drenching the soft canvas in the colours of monarchs and sunflowers. The light danced around his prominent eyes, flames in a ring of stone. His lips looked kissed by a dreamsicle. You looked away, finding your way back to reality.
“Did you want me to go back and get something?” You offered, throwing your thumb back towards the door.
“No,” He said, turning back to the sun, “Watari should be up soon.”
Before you could question, you heard the door open and close and the clinking sound of plates as they made their way up the stairs.
“Hello, dear,” The old man greeted with a smile.
He carried a tray with a full tea set in one hand and a wicker basket in the other, with a blanket draped across his arm. You watched as he laid it out on the ground, pulling plates and silverware from the basket along with a candelabra. Ryuga settled himself as Watari lit the candles, then gestured for you to do the same. The only clear spot to sit was right beside him, and you took it as gracefully as possible.
“I have brought sandwiches and various tea cakes,” Watari explained, “along with Keemun Mao Feng tea and honey. I hope you enjoy.”
You both thanked him and he left, closing the roof exit behind him. L sat, perching next to you, watching as you admired the display.
“It’s all my favourites,” You observed. “Why did you ask him to bring this?”
His thumb came to rest on his lip, gauging your reaction.
“I knew you would be getting hungry soon. I told Watari to bring some acceptable food if you didn’t grab any on your way up.”
You furrowed your brows in innocent confusion, “How did you know I’d come?”
His head turned away and you notice his feet shuffling, a tell for his anxiety.
“You always do.” He said with a shrug.
Your heart thumped affectionately as he turned his head, and your gaze fell back onto the band of sterling silver in his eyes. You smiled fondly at the man, and he had to look away. He busied himself with the basket, pulling out nicely wrapped sandwiches in brown butcher paper. He read the options out for you and passed you your selections. He then reached in and pulled out a white box with a blue bow. He began to tug at it, then stopped, offering it to you.
You giggled, unravelling the satin ribbon. When he pulled off the lid, a tiered display stand stood with ten layers of tiny cakes with an array of colours, creams, and toppings. L looked over the selection with a careful eye, then chose a spongy square with a raspberry on top. He pinched it between his fingers and brought it to his lips. You watched his selection process as you braided the ribbon into a piece of your hair, presenting it to your friend with a smile. He nodded in approval, and then you finally took a bite of your sandwich, moaning as the myriad of flavours filled your senses.
“Oh my god, this is delicious,” you said, pushing it towards Ryusaki, “You’ve gotta try it.”
His chewing stops as he eyes the sandwich in front of him like it were a loaded gun.
“I’m okay.” He said politely.
You accepted his dismissal, taking another bite from your sandwich, but still curious about it.
“Why don’t you eat anything but sugar?” You asked through a mouthful of sourdough.
“Well,” Ryusaki began, “Desserts tend to be more homogeneous in texture and taste. I find most ‘real’ food reduces my deductive skills by approximately twenty-five percent.”
You looked up at the beauty of the ending day around you and breathed in the air of the city.
“Do you need your deductive skills right now?” You asked softly, eyes still trained on the sky.
Moments passed in peaceful silence. You could hear a dog barking and the mummer of the life teeming below you. People going about their everyday lives, despite the horror of this new world. You tried to join them now and then, encouraging Ryusaki to do the same– to have a life outside of, despite of Kira. From your peripherals, you saw him spread his knees apart, sitting in a cross-legged position. You watched as he continued adjusting, trying to find a comfortable position. When he settled, you turned your eyes to his.
“Would you like some tea?” You asked.
He nodded his head, and you poured him half a cup from the teapot, filling the rest with cream and sugar, just the way he liked it. He thanked you when you passed it to him, fingers brushing briefly. You could tell he was a little uncomfortable, probably much more in tune with the “loss of thought” he was experiencing than any other person would be. He held his cup in both hands, elbows resting on his knees as he looked into the wheat-coloured drink. You left L to his thoughts, knowing he would share them if he deemed them important. You instead focused on tucking the rest of your sandwich away, opening another to try. You were happy Watari cared enough to cut them into little triangles.
“What are your plans after the Kira case?”
You nearly choked on your sandwich, not expecting the question. You wiped at your mouth with a napkin, trying to grab your composure.
“I haven’t given much thought to it,” you said, “but I know it will be a bittersweet moment when we catch him.”
Ryuga sat up a little, his interest piqued as he took another sip of his tea. “What do you mean by that?”
“Well,” you began, “I’ve met a lot of great people by working on this investigation. I don’t imagine our paths will cross much once this is all resolved, even if we do survive. But it makes me happy to think that one day they’ll get to walk into their front doors and hug their families without the fear of them being ripped away as collateral damage.”
“Not to mention,” You continued, “at the risk of sounding selfish, this job has some really nice perks. I’m compensated well, I get free room and board, I haven’t done my own laundry in four months, and I can even get company-provided gourmet picnics on the rooftop. There’s a lot to miss.”
“I must admit, I will miss the camaraderie,” L said softly. “But I fear the fallout from Kira’s arrest more.”
You knew what he meant. If he was right, and Light and Misa were Kira and The Second Kira, then it would destroy the task force. Matsuda’s heart would shatter, as would Mogi’s, though he’d hide it better than the former. Chief Yagami would likely suffer another heart attack, or perhaps snap entirely. And while you yourself didn’t want to believe it, you couldn’t deny what you knew was true. With the proof of shinigami's existence and an otherworldly murder weapon disguised as a harmless notebook downstairs, nothing could be ruled out. You questioned what other powers came with the notebook, and how those powers transferred.
Bribing Ryuke into answering all your questions was easy enough. It turns out he had never known the taste of a Fuji apple, only enjoying the common red delicious. One was enough to get him hooked. You presented everything you had learned about ownership of the notebook, how it can be passed, and how it affects the user. You and L had come to the same conclusion: sometime in Light’s confinement, he transferred ownership, as did Misa. You knew for sure when Misa visited Light the other day in the lobby.
At the beginning of the investigation, he refused to toy with her emotions, as it went against his code. And you found it comforting, knowing Kira would have no problem doing that, and Light was immediately opposed. For months, he made no effort to show affection to Misa, rebuffing any advance or innuendo she made, but you watched as he brought her into a hug. You watched as she melted into it, savouring the sparring touch and every word he whispered into her ear. You knew he hadn’t magically fallen in love with the girl, but was using the love she had for him.
Yes, Light had changed, and the repercussions were terrifying.
Ryusaki was silent. By now, the sun had set, and the moon began climbing up a ladder of stars. The candlelight flickered, making shadows jump and jive across your friend’s face. The shifts were jarring, but the gentle lighting softened his hardened edges. Your eyes traced the slope of his nose, down his plush lips, and his long neck. You wished to stretch out a curious finger to replace your itinerant eyes.
“Would you like a cake?” Ryusaki asked, changing the subject. You allowed the distraction, deciding you would bring it up again later, but not know.
You selected one with orange filling and chocolate drizzle. It was delicious, falling apart in your fingers as you ate it. You heard a soft chuckle leave your friend's mouth and you looked up at him confused. He said nothing, instead motioning towards his face. You tilted your head, not understanding what he meant. Before you could ask, L brought a napkin to the corner of your mouth, gently rubbing it across your bottom lip.
Your heart stopped beating and your lungs stopped breathing. His touch was like the flames of the flickering candles, igniting the skin he polished. His eyes flicked up to yours and you were lost in a pool of obsidian, his pupils vast in the stary night.
“There,” he said softly, “all gone.”
You searched for your voice, and it came out in a breathy whisper, “Thanks.”
He continued, unbothered by the unprecedented physical contact while you took a sip of your tea, in hopes that would help your unsteady heart. Before you had much time to recover, He spoke again.
“My favourite colour is blue.”
You blinked dumbly, at the man as he readjusted uncomfortably.
“My favourite cake is Strawberry Vanilla Sponge Cake,” He continued, “and I sing in the shower.”
You laughed out of shock, and words continued to spill from his mouth like he couldn’t stop them.
“If I could have a superpower, I would want invisibility. I think four-leaf clovers are ridiculously overblown, but I admire their inherent whimsy. I really like The Beatles, which is very embarrassing as I am British. But even more so because I listen to ‘We Can Work It Out’ when I get frustrated. They bring me a sort of comfort. I’ve always wanted a cat. I think it’s funny when they’re given people names, or named after ridiculous things. If I had one, I’d get a tuxedo cat and name it 3,4,4,5-tetramethylcyclohexa-2,5-dien-1-one.” You open your mouth to ask what that was, but he answered it before you could, “It’s a cyclic dienone, more commonly known as penguinone, and though it has no applicable uses, it’s funny.”
You shake your head, trying to make sense of his sudden urge to tell you all of these things. In his unblinking eyes, you saw something close to desperation and it confused you, forcing you to look away. You missed the way Ryusaki’s face fell.
“Are you…upset?” he asked cautiously. “I’m sorry if I overshared.”
“No, no,” You reassured, trying to alleviate some of the guilt that filled your chest at his apprehension. “I’m just confused”
“I was trying to establish trust,” he explained cooly.
Your brows furrowed, “Do you think I don’t trust you?”
“No, I-” he paused, releasing a sigh that moved his shoulders.
“Ignore me,” he said sadly, “Nothing I say lately seems to make much sense.”
Your heart shattered at the uncertainty in his voice. He usually spoke with such conviction. To hear him unsure, insecure in sensibility– his intelligence, really –it made you nauseous.
“Ryusaki,” you began, but he looked away.
“Ryusaki,” you tried again, this time resting a hand on his shoulder, “your sense is still very intact. You’re not the crazy one.”
He looked at your hand, where it rested without hesitancy.
“Look,” you continued, “Someone is trying to kill you. And it could very likely be your best friend. You’re making more sense than anyone else would in your situation.”
Suddenly his eyes shot to yours. There was a small fire burning there, and you worried that you had upset him. You began to remove your hand, but he rested his on yours, keeping it pressed against his shoulder. Your heart leapt at the contact, and you prayed he didn’t notice. Though, if you knew anything about Ryusaki, he did and already tucked it away as useful information.
“Light Yagami is not my best friend.” He said simply, “You are.”
You couldn’t fight the smile that sprouted from the sentiment.
“Really?” You asked in disbelief.
“Of course, I wouldn’t lie about that.”
Your smile grew more teasing, “But you didn’t even chain yourself to me.”
L smiled too, “I didn’t have to.”
Time passed in silence. It was a bit awkward, your hand remained on his shoulder as the candles burned. You were getting chilly, the night air nipping at you through your t-shirt. L’s hand kept yours still, you were much too nervous to move it away. Especially when you could see your friend thinking very hard.
He suddenly turned toward you, removing his hand and jostling yours. His thumb came to his lip, running it across and moving the muscle.
“There are a lot of social customs that I haven’t gotten to participate in, due to my isolated childhood, and even more so because of my dangerous career,” he said, “for instance, I had never had friends until this investigation, and now I have three. But that also means I haven’t experienced a lot of the common experiences that come with friendship.”
He looked you over, trying to gauge your reaction thus far. You seemed at ease but attentive. His eyes darted to the blue streak in your hair, and felt a warmth blossoming in his chest. He was amazed by how light-hearted you could be, despite the heavy burdens you carried. You shone so brightly, he was almost embarrassed to ask you to share.
“I was wondering if you would be willing to help me with that. I think it’s important to my development, and general understanding of the human condition.”
You were delighted to hear that he was thinking about such “trivial” things. As you became closer to L, you quickly realised that he lived a very lonely life. You could tell he had convinced himself that was what he wanted, but you knew a life of work wasn’t enough, and he deserved more. You always encouraged him to take care of more than his brain; to value his body and his spirit as well.
“Of course L,” you nearly cheered, “what did you have in mind?”
You waited patiently for his response, trying your best not to shrink under his gaze. You were sure that his eyes were a large reason as to why he made such a great detective. When he focused his eyes on someone, it made them feel see-through; like he could see everything that made up that person. Like he could read your thoughts.
“Can I-“ he began, then stopped. It was rare to see him trip over his words. “I would like- would it be okay if we hugged?”
Lightning struck across the sky, and you flinched, startled by the sound. You looked up into the dark, trying to find the flash of light you knew was long gone. You spotted the thick, rolling clouds hovering above you, and you hadn’t noticed before. Then the thunder rumbled, and the cry was resonant, penetrating your bones as it rolled through you. Then slowly, rain began falling from the sky. A few drops landed on your face, and you could feel them beginning to stick to your clothes.
When your shock faded away, you looked back at your friend. He was looking at you intently, hunched over like always. You opened your mouth to respond, but L spoke before you.
“Let’s step inside,” he said, resting his hand on your shoulder like you had before, “you’re shivering.”
You hadn’t realised that you were, but as you looked down at your hands, you couldn’t deny the tremble. He stood and began packing up everything on the blanket, refusing your help when you offered even though the rain had picked up. It was steady now, easily soaking through your clothes and his in turn. Once everything was tucked away, he guided you inside, opening the door for you.
As you walked down the steps, your mind spun around his words. He had asked to hug you, someone who you thought would be pretty averse to physical touch. You were surprised he let you lay a hand on him at all, and even more surprised when he reciprocated the action. It could’ve just been an experiment, a test to see how it made him feel, but you found yourself reviewing your own results.
You hadn’t really touched L before. There was no reason to. Even when he fell out of his chair over the whole “Shinigami” thing, you let the others crowd him. Your hands had maybe brushed here and there when passing sweets or documents, but intentional, prolonged contact was never made until today. You couldn’t deny his behaviour had been odd lately, though that was to be expected with the stress he was under. You wondered if he was indulging out of curiosity or a fear of missing out on life.
You jumped again as another bolt of lightning struck across the sky, followed by the soft beginnings of rain, now slowly collecting on the glass walls around you. You began walking down the hall and jerked your head to beckon Ryusaki, who seemed deep in thought. You watched the rain grow, drops colliding and running down the glass. You stopped to trace the tracks left, your body shuttering against the cold.
“I’m sorry,” your friend spoke quietly, as there was no one but you here, and no reason to raise a voice. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
You looked at him with shock, but he refused to look at you.
“Ryusaki, I haven’t felt uncomfortable around you since we started this investigation. Why would that change now?” When he didn’t respond, you bumped his shoulder with yours, “Seriously though, if you ever do make me uncomfortable, I won’t let you live it down.”
“Good,” he said, nodding his head. “I’ll hold you to that.”
You both continued to stare off into the distance in silence. You began breathing out hot puffs of air and drawing in the condensation. Meaningless shapes littered the space as you got lost in your thoughts.
You felt stuck between knowing and knowing nothing. You knew that You cared for Ryusaki very much. You knew you trusted him with your life, and you always felt better when he was around. You knew that you desired his attention and approval more than anyone else’s. You knew that he was beautiful and kind. But you didn’t know if he felt any of those things about you. You didn’t know what those things meant. Or rather, you feared what they could mean, and what that would do to the both of you.
Your thoughts were interrupted once again when you felt a weight on your shoulders, and you looked down to see pale, slender hands embellished with tendons and glistening in the light. Your jaw dropped slightly, seeing him appear so close behind you in your shared reflection.
“You’re still shivering.” He didn’t look at you, his eyes obscured by his shaggy hair, “A blanket should help.”
You offered a kind, timid smile in thanks, turning to face him. Your cheeks filled with blood though you couldn’t quite pin down why. Maybe it was just because he was touching you again when he’s never really done that before. Or maybe it was the fact that he was concerned about you. Or maybe it was the intimacy of it all, how close he was and how gentle his touch was.
His hallowed, all-seeing eyes met yours and you lost your breath. You wanted to look away, feeling pierced by his gaze, but you couldn’t– you wouldn’t. “If this isn’t sufficient, let me know. It’s my fault you’re cold.”
“No, it’s not,” You chuckled as he adjusted the material on your shoulder, “I walked out willingly. Yeah, you baited me into staying with food and tea, but I saw your plan, and I decided to go along with it.”
L smiled shyly, “I never could fool you.”
Your brows furrowed, and your heart sank.
“Can.” You corrected sternly. “You never can fool me.”
“Ah, Of course.” L said, removing his hands from you and tucking them back into his pockets, “You’re too observant for me to keep a secret. You’re always the first in the room to know what I’m thinking.”
He didn’t directly address his slip-up– referring to himself in the past tense as if he had died –so you didn’t either, instead filing that away under “more things to bring up later”.
“What can I say?” You teased. “Great minds think alike.”
“That they do,” he muttered, though you could tell his mind had taken him far away again.
You turned back to the window, and he joined you there. The rain had picked up, the heavy clouds drawing nearer. Your body buzzed with the electricity in the air. You could feel the winds of change surging through the city, and it filled you with determination.
“You should change,” Ryusaki whispered, “you’ll catch a cold.”
“Please,” You said, rolling your eyes and landing on his. “We were out there for less than an hour, and it never dropped below four degrees.”
“That’s still rather cold,” He hid his eyes from you, and you missed the sparks he carried there. “Not to mention the addition of rain.”
“If you’re so worried about my immune system,” you quipped, “studies show that hugs can actually help fight illness.”
That got a reaction out of the man, whipping his head to look at you.
“Is that so?” He asked, amusement teeming in his thin, grey irises. “Is it the exposure to more germs?”
“Possibly,” You admitted, “But it’s mostly the stress relief. Hugs reduce your cortisol and noradrenaline levels, improving blood pressure and general heart health. Also, with both of our body heats working together, it might help warm me up.”
L brought his thumb to his lip again, pondering your words.
“Maybe you have a point.” He muttered, “Perhaps we should test this theory.”
You agreed but neither of you moved, both too afraid to make the first move. You had hugged people before. You had hugged your family and many friends, so hugging Ryusaki shouldn’t be that nerve-racking, and yet, your body was buzzing just at the concept.
Suddenly, L Spread his arms, his figure drowning in his baggy sweater. It happened in slow motion, or at least it felt like it did. He dove towards you, wrapping his arms tightly around you, unintentionally pinning yours to your side, and his chin landed on the crown of your head gently.
You tensed, not expecting him to just go for it. Your face was pressed into his chest, your nose brushing his collarbone because of how his sweater had shifted. You were suddenly self-conscious breathing on him, trying your best to make sure your lungs were expanding and contracting naturally, but you could feel the awkwardness in your muscles.
“I don’t think this is working,” He said, his jaw moving against your head, “Your heart rate has only elevated. This seems to be…bothersome to you.”
He slowly removed himself but remained close, focusing his trying eyes on you, hands back in his pockets. “Please, tell me how you feel.”
“Well, firstly, you surprised me.” You couldn’t help but chuckle. Laughter bubbled up due to his unwavering gaze that affected you, though you didn’t want to concede to that. “And second, I’m not sure that counted as a hug. You trapped my arms, so I couldn’t reciprocate it properly.”
“I see,” He said, not showing any emotion you could detect (And you had gotten pretty good at reading L at this point). “What can I do better?”
His determination was…adorable. He was adamant about this, about hugging you better. You wouldn’t have thought this was something he ranked so highly in importance, and you felt flattered.
“Open your arms again,” You instructed, scooting closer.
He followed your orders, his head tilting to the side in curiosity. You took a quick breath, then brought your arms around his waist, then rested your ear between his pecs. There you heard his heart. You expected a steady thrum, but instead, the muscle beat like a kick drum without cause. But you supposed if you only fed your body sugar and caffeine, your heart would go crazy too.
He was also much comfier than you expected his skin and bones to be. His frame felt right in your arms, and a word flitted through your mind: safe. He was safe here in your arms, and you felt safe here too.
You remembered then that he was still standing there with his arms fully extended, like an owl stretching their wings.
“You can wrap your arms around me like before now,” You said into his chest.
He did as you said, and you felt an instant relief. Your blanket was wrapped around him, and you were surrounded by L. He was soft, like the petals of a Gardinia– like the ones your mother used to grow. He smelled like chocolate and strawberries, though with his diet, you were sure he sweated out sugar. In the refracted light the droplets cast, it looked just like that, like sugar crystals dancing across his skin.
Your nose picked up hints of lavender you recognised as the fabric softener Watari swore by. You wanted to bottle the sents and wear them yourself. You found yourself snuggling in closer, drawn in by the comforts of L.
You sighed in contentment, closing your eyes. His heartbeat stabilized, beating slower but strong. Slowly, he adjusted himself, bringing his arms tighter around you and turning so his ear rested against you and not his hewn jaw. Many moments went by like that, with nothing but the instrumental played by the rain, steady breathing, and hearts beating. As time went on, your heartbeats began to sync, beating together. You felt warmth spread throughout you at the thought. You liked this. You liked being close to Ryusaki.
“How long do these usually last?” He whispered into the rich silence.
“It depends on the friends, everyone’s comfort levels.” You replied thoughtfully. “Some people only hug for a few seconds; others hold each other like this. But it’s recommended that you get at least four hugs a day.”
He hummed, considering your answer. “I definitely haven’t been fulfilling that quota.”
“It’s okay,” You said through a laugh, “Me either.”
“Perhaps,” L said, putting on his detective voice, “If you have found this as enjoyable as I, we could do this more often– try to reach that benchmark more. The act of hugging seems to increase my oxytocin levels, which feels different than the dopamine confections give me. If it affects you the same way, I think that could be good for us both.”
Your laughter danced across this skin. “I can’t believe you can feel the difference between happy hormones.”
“Of course I can.” He said, completely unphased by your disbelief. “Dopamine feels more like I’m doing a good job, and Oxytocin is…”
You waited patiently while he found the words.
“Oxytocin makes me more…sentimental,” He landed on.
“I guess that makes sense,” You mumbled into his chest. “Weirdo.”
He chuckled at the title that would have hurt coming from anyone else.
“I would be okay with that,” You said, addressing his proposal, “If we hugged more often.”
“Great,” He said, and you could hear his smile. L could feel how the cold continued to cling to your skin. Although hugs were supposed to help fight illness, he doubted it was a cure. “We should finish up then so you can change.”
He released his hold on you and began to pull away, but without thinking, you held on tighter, your brows furrowing.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“I’m not sure,” you said honestly. “I just don’t want to leave this.” L brought a hand to his chin, cradling it and trying his best not to jostle you. “Is it the hug that you want, or is it me?”
Your eyes bugged at his question. Immediately, you let go, creating distance as you jumped back. You reacted as if he had struck you instead of asking a straightforward question to better understand the situation.
Your mouth opened and closed a few times, not unlike a fish plucked from the water.
“Well, I- It’s uh…I mean- heh -what?” You stumbled. Again, L’s shark skin eyes bore into yours, dissecting every stutter and stammer.
“I believe the question was fairly easy to comprehend.” He said plainly, “I asked if it was the hug you wanted or me.”
You felt blood rush to your cheeks.
“I understood the question,” You weakly defended.
L’s head dropped once again to the side, his hair flopping loosely as he moved but still weighing down over his face.
“Then answer it.”
You swallowed. He had cornered you, baiting you by insinuating you weren’t as intelligent as he thought and getting you to confess that you in fact were not confused. But in truth, you were. Because it was true that you were extremely touched-starved. You had dedicated the better half of the last year to catching Kira. You hadn’t had time for much else. You weren’t exactly popular before either.
You were a criminal, a cyber-robinhood. You had stolen from several pharmaceutical companies and redistributed their funds to families in need. You thought it absolutely abhorrent that the companies could make money off of cancer and diabetes, depriving people of medicine they needed, not wanted. You had done it with your best friend, who was killed by Kira.
She had taught you the ropes and how to hide yourself from the authorities. She, however, had crossed the line. She began targeting government officials, leaking their private messages and phone records to the public. You would have thought that would align with Kira’s morals, but you guess not because she died of a heart attack in your arms. You hadn’t made a friend since, not until Ryusaki.
You didn’t want him to leave you too. You were terrified that he would be ripped away from you, much like your friend before. But it was more than that. You wanted Ryusaki to live. You wanted him to have a full life, one of joy and contentment. One where his intelligence wasn’t weaponised. One where he could let his guard down and not break his back with his posture. You wanted him to drown in hugs, to never be deprived of comfort again. And you wanted to be by his side to see it.
You had become very attached to the man before you. You admired him, respected him. You found yourself trying to be more like him in many ways. And you felt pride every time he mimicked you.
“I don’t know.”
L was unconvinced, leaning in closer, “Yes, you do. But you won’t say.”
You stared into his eyes, words eluding you. What could you say? You weren’t even sure what you wanted, what your answer would be. He looked at you curiously, awaiting your response. When you had none, he sighed.
“Fine then,” He said, turning his investigative gaze away from you. “I will escort you to your room. Hopefully, that will satisfy you.”
You had requested a room here at headquarters and were unsurprised when L told you that he had already built one for everyone on the task force. You had all but moved in during the Kira case. You hadn’t meant to, but it was just easier than taking the train alone after a late night of investigating. With no one to stop you, you would stay up until three ante merīdiem, studying and analysing trends. Sometimes you would crash at your desk, but usually, you would drag yourself away when you noticed your eyes becoming heavy. But now, your apartment was more of a formality than anything else. L knew this and made no comments on the matter. He was happy you stayed here instead, and that the rooms weren’t a complete waste of time and effort.
As you travelled through the silent halls, you brought your blanket tighter around your shoulders, tensing your jaw so your teeth didn’t chatter. Ryusaki seemed unbothered by the cold. He showed no signs of discomfort other than the way his shoulders folded forward more than they usually did. You wondered if he was just suppressing them or if he truly wasn’t cold. But then you saw a small shiver travel down his spine.
“You never told me,” you said softly, “what you were doing out there?”
His steady pace was unwavering, his bare feet gently padding across the tiled floors of the hall.
“Thinking,” He replied but offered nothing more.
“Of course you were thinking, that’s all you know to do. ” You joked, “What were you thinking about?”
He took a few more steps, then stopped. You continued forward until you were standing side by side. He stared ahead, but you turned to face him. You watched as his face remained flat, unchanged.
“I was thinking about my death,” he said plainly, continuing his previous pace. “I reviewed my mental record of my will, noting necessary amendments. Due to recent events, I felt it something I reconsider.”
Your stomach twisted at his casualness, and you looked away. How could he say that and have no feeling about it? Or rather, rationalize whatever feelings he had about the situation away?
“You-” You began, your words tripping over the lump in your throat, “you shouldn’t talk like that. You’re not going to die.”
You said it with finality, though your friend heard the subtle desperation, the fear beneath your bravado.
He stopped again, and when you turned to him, he turned as well. His eyes seemed almost hollow as he spoke.
“We all die. And I happen to find myself in a position in which I am taunting the reaper.”
L did a lot of staring, and this one you took as a personal challenge. He knew what you meant, and he was purposefully not addressing it. You weren’t backing down; you weren’t folding for him. The other members of the task force often forgot that he was human; you refused to forget. While he was smarter than anyone you had ever met, he wasn’t a supercomputer. He had hopes and dreams; he had fears.
“We’re here,” he said, interrupting this game of blink.
You hadn’t realised you had arrived at your room and hesitated at the door.
“Would you like me to step inside?” He offered.
You nodded.
“Very well then.”
He opened the door and you stepped in. He closed the door behind him, then stood a few feet into the room, scratching at his leg with his foot. You made your way to your closet, selecting a new shirt and some sweatpants, then went to your dresser, selecting new undergarments.
L looked to the wall after catching a glimpse of the lacey bra you balanced from your finger. You looked to your friend, ready to ask him to turn around, when you noticed his head already turned and a slight rosy hue crawling up his exposed neck. He was usually so devoid of colour; the splash of pink was a nice touch. You wondered what had flustered him and if it had anything to do with you. The thought made you excited, but you chose not to acknowledge that.
“I’m changing now,” You said, turning away from him.
L tried his best to keep his eyes off of you, but soon, your hands were in the air as you peeled off your shirt, and his curiosity won. His eyes traced over the exposed skin, counting the vertebrae up your back. His breath hitched slightly as you reached behind you and unlatched your bra. He caught himself imagining what it would look like if you were turned around and ripped his eyes away again. After all, you were his friend, and it was inappropriate to think such things about a friend. Especially one that trusted him enough to change in front of him. He would rather die than abuse your trust.
Soon, you were wiggling out of your pants, and his eyes betrayed him, following the movement of your hands. The cotton panties you wore were nothing special, plain and purple and a bit cheeky. It clung to the shape of your ass beautifully. His eyes bugged involuntarily, and he decided he could no longer trust himself to be facing you and turned his body.
As he faced the wall, he considered your interactions today. You had sought him out and then joined him outside despite knowing the discomfort the cold would bring you. Meaning you valued his amusement more than your comfort. You entertained his tangents and encouraged him to try new things, which meant that his general well-being must be something of importance to you. Why else would you go out of your way to protect it?
Yes, you wanted him to be happy and made that a responsibility of your own. You coached him through a new experience and reassured his insecurities about it. He had hugged you for two minutes and thirty seconds, but you had held him for two minutes and thirty-nine seconds. So you enjoyed the physical comfort, and obviously desired more, as you only stopped when he shocked you.
That’s right, you pulled away when he asked if you "wanted him." So enjoying his company was fine, but once "wanting" became a part of the equation, you rejected it. Or tried your best to. But you didn’t deny that you still desired his presence, allowing him to escort you to your room, where you took off your clothes in front of him.
When he looked at the incidents individually, it could all be chalked up to you being a good friend– one who trusted and respected him –but he was a better detective than that. He also knew to look at the big picture. In his mind, he replaced himself with other people, like puppets in a play, and saw how your reactions changed.
He found it hard to believe that you would allow someone else on the team to hold you for two minutes, lure you into the rain, or risk them seeing you in your underwear. Which begged the question, why do you treat him differently? How does your perception of him differ from the others?
Then it became abundantly clear, and he was shocked. The conclusion he came to seemed ludicrous, and yet, it was the only one that made sense-- the only one that stood with the evidence. How could this be? There was only one way to know.
He called your name and you hummed in response, putting on a new shirt and turning to face him.
“You evaded my question.” He remarked, still looking at the wall. “However, I think your evasion– and the several events surrounding it –has given me a more clear understanding of the answer you were guarding.”
You felt a general unease, not sure you liked the direction his inquisitive mind was heading. You wrung your hands anxiously in front of you, looking at the back of his head. You should have known L wouldn’t let that go.
“I told you I didn’t know.”
He turned quickly, catching you off guard. He was once again very close to you, his eyes dancing with curiosity and a bit of pride. It was a look you saw when he presented a theory based on new evidence he had finally made sense of that had previously baffled the team. You knew he was confident in whatever he had deduced and was more amused by your responses, watching carefully with a thumb pressed to his lip just a few inches away from your face.
“But I don’t think it was the complete truth,” he pressed, “which makes it a lie of omission.”
“I didn’t lie,” You quickly defended.
“But I saw it: a realisation flitting across your face. You looked at the evidence and came to a conclusion. You have some idea as to why you reacted to my question the way you did, and you have an answer. Does the answer put you in a position of vulnerability perhaps?”
You gaped at him, unsure how to respond. However, he continued to think aloud, answering your question for you with his own ramblings.
“Yes, that must be it. In answering whether you merely wanted more affection or me, it would force you to admit that you had a need that wasn’t being met. And since we had already discussed our general lack of affection in day-to-day life, revealing that you felt you wanted more hugs would not make you uncomfortable… no, it has to be me that you want. That’s the only reason you would react that way. Which makes me wonder, in what way do you want me?
“My phrasing may have impacted your response, as ‘want’ can mean different things in certain contexts. However, if you thought of me in a strictly platonic sense, you would not have assumed I meant anything more than my company. There is, of course, the possibility that previous interactions in male friendships lead you to believe I meant something else, but I think it is more likely that you interpreted it romantically because you have– on some level –romantic feelings for me. And by answering the question honestly, you would have revealed that.”
He paused for a moment before asking, “Am I right?”
Your brain was spinning, repeating every word he had said. He waited patiently as you mulled it over. You tried to disprove his theory, picking each line and defending the opposite, but it became harder and harder the longer you went on. You weren’t sure how you saw the man in front of you. He was your friend, someone you respected and cared for. You valued his opinion and you listened to his advice. But you couldn’t deny that you found him attractive. You had since you first met him.
After your friend had died, it didn’t take you long to piece together that it was Kira who killed her. You brought your theory to the police, but they didn’t take you seriously. Apparently, there had been many false reports of Kira's murders, and yours was the fifteenth report that day. You continued to argue, but you didn’t even get past the front desk. That night, when you got back home, you decided you would do everything you could to catch the killer. You broke into the police database– which was entirely too easy –then followed up with everyone they suspected. You used your skills to hack into the suspects' computers, scouring through their histories and files, but didn’t find anything incriminating. Except for one man.
He was too innocent, not even a record of porn on his computer. Most of his search results were quiz questions with brief breaks spent streaming funny videos. He was a studious pupil and the son of a cop. You consulted the police’s notes often and were surprised when they claimed it could be a student. Then soon after, the pattern of killings changed, further proving the theory.
You were convinced it was Light Yagami, but you needed more. So you tried to hack into L’s computer. You knew from the police notes of the meetings that L called in using a computer, meaning he had to have a Wi-Fi connection to talk to them in real time. It took you a while to hack the secure connection, and even longer to get into the computer. You felt defeated– outsmarted –when you realised the only thing on the device was whatever system he used for the calls and whatever connection he used for that was heavily encrypted.
You thought nothing more of the event until you were picked up off the street a few weeks later. You were grabbed and bound, the assailant immediately gagging and blindfolding you. The drive was long, and you were taken somewhere with winding hallways and cold rooms. You were restrained to a table, straps keeping you upright, and then your gag was removed.
You yelled in anger, cursing your capture and illustrating all the ways in which you would make them suffer for treating you this way. You only stopped when a robotic voice filled the room. It asked who you were, but you ignored its question, connecting the dots.
“You’re L,” You said plainly, “The renowned detective. You’ve solved every case you’ve ever taken on. And you apprehended me– confining me and taking away my vision –meaning you must think I’m Kira. You know who I am, that’s why you’ve taken me in.”
He confirmed your suspicions and listed out the crimes you had committed, and your behaviours that made him suspect you. You couldn’t deny his deductions, and instead of trying to prove your innocence, you told him about your own mission to catch Kira. You even apologised for trying to hack him as well, “but you understand, I had to try.”
He kept you tied up for a few, very long days, then let you walk around the room, giving you access to a bed and a few books. Now and then he would check in on you and offered to make amends for the misunderstanding. You only requested that he hear you out.
You told him about your theories and how you were disregarded by the police. He was the first person to tell you that he believed your friend was murdered and that it had more to do with them talking out against Kira online than the crimes they had committed. And that only angered you more.
Soon, he began to trust you. He showed you his face. He was nothing like you imagined, but everything you expected. He was odd; he looked almost sickly and was very deadpan. But he had a sense of humour, one that was just as odd as him. He was straightforward forward, and you didn’t have to wonder what he was thinking, as he often shared his thoughts. He was kind, having an obvious affinity for sweets, but always willing to share with you. He asked about you and your life, and you could tell he was cataloguing everything you had to say. He listened so intently when you spoke.
You only grew closer, looking forward to your meetings in the following weeks, and were elated when he told you about the new headquarters and how he wanted to introduce you to the rest of the team. He was impressed by your resourcefulness and intellect, but more importantly your passion. You were driven by revenge, but soon that changed. L believed in you, and you wanted to honour that.
Despite his quarks, you saw his soft underside, and it drew you in more. He was fascinating to you, alluring.
Was that normal for a friend? To simply see them and feel better, to seek out their company? Yeah, you guess it was, but you didn’t think it was as normal to think your friend is pretty. Friends don’t trace jaw lines or let their eyes linger on outstretched fingers and moving lips. Is that what you were feeling? Was your confusion and nervousness a result of an unrealised crush on your friend?
“Oh, I see,” Ryusaki mumbled, “It wasn’t an intentional lie; you only just now realised.”
You hated that he could read you as well as he could, and suddenly his proximity was suffocating. You stepped back, hiding from his gaze in your hands. It was bad enough that you had feelings for your best and only friend, but to come to that realisation in front of them –when they have the uncanny ability to practically read minds –was mortifying. You were cornered and unsure what to say. You didn’t even have time to consider what you wanted to do about your feelings before they were made known.
You could try to deny it, but you didn’t think that would work. Not against L. So you decided to look deeper. You had pieced together how your interactions proved you liked him, but how did L fare? You compared his behaviour towards you to the others. He was kinder with you, often wording things gentler to you than he would care to for anyone else. He provided confections to everyone, but he only offered you bites from his plate. He was more candid about his feelings with you, as well as his thoughts.
While he often toyed with the investigators, constantly testing their deductive reasoning and loyalty, L only asked what you thought to question his own conclusions. He valued your input more than others on the team, and you knew the task force was aware of that. if you were in the room, Ryusaki was always within arms reach. He never strayed far. He asked about your personal life, and he encouraged you to take breaks. He smiled and laughed around you, something you didn’t see in front of the others. You had seen L’s soft side, but only because he had shown it to you. He was vulnerable with you. But was that just friendship?
No, no there was more. Today, he cared for you, feeding you and treating you to a picnic. He apologised for your condition, completely disregarding his own. He did his best to atone for the wrong he felt he had done, going as far as to wrap you in his own warmth. He didn’t need to. He sought out the contact. Contact he didn’t look for elsewhere. Contacted he requested and asked for more of, in a less than graceful way. Tripping over words was out of character for the normally articulate detective.
He then stayed by your side, escorting you to your room, again, disregarding the fact that he too was cold and rained on. Furthermore, any other friend would have turned away from you while you changed, but he faced you. You remembered the blush on his face before you changed. Either the idea of you undressing or something he saw you were changing into caused that response. You had difficulty believing this came from a general lack of experience with women.
If Misa changed in front of him (which is an unavoidable event which has already happened with her room being monitored the way it is), you doubted he would have much of a reaction. Yes, you were sure. His flustered state was a result of you.
You removed your hands from your face and looked at the man of your affection. He wore a curious look, and you smiled.
“You’re not upset,” he observed, “Usually, people respond badly to my blunt deductions about their emotions. I expected you to yell or deny, but you’ve done neither.”
You chuckled lightly, “I don’t think there’s a way I could have denied that without further confirming your conclusion.”
“Well, your initial response of hiding from me was sufficient.” he said with a bit of smugness, “But I’m curious as to why you no longer feel the need to.”
“I don’t need to hide my feelings if you already know they exist,” you stated calmly, “And I’m sixty-seven percent sure you share my feelings, making them much less frightening.”
Rysuaki’s hidden eyebrows raised, and his eyes widened. You watched smugly as he said nothing, revelling in the pride of shocking even the great L.
You explained how you reached that conclusion, knowing that would be his first question. When you finished, he looked up to the ceiling, reevaluating the evidence. You watched as his careful mind picked apart your deduction and this time you allowed yourself to appreciate his unique beauty.
You traced the slope of his nose, following it down to the tendons in his neck and where his collar bones poked out from his baggy sweater. You greedily observed the way his clothes hung from his body, nearly swallowing him whole.
“It is true, I am rather fond of you. I made that more obvious than I intended, however, there’s nothing to be done about it now.” He admitted, “I can’t say I’ve ever had much of a love life or much experience with romantic feelings. I’m not sure how to proceed.”
You patted the spot next to you on the bed, and he crossed the room to join you. To your surprise, he sat with his feet on the floor, hands on his thighs.
“I think this a good place to start,” you said warmly. “We don’t have to do anything about it yet.”
He nodded but didn’t look at you. You could see the gears churning in his head, then you noticed his hands. There were impressions left in his thighs from his strong grip. Was it possible he was nervous? You couldn’t hide the delight the sight brought you. You thought it was adorable that you were something that could cause him so much grief. But you hated it too.
You placed your hand on his and he tensed slightly, but didn’t push it away.
“Hey,” you said softly, “Take a breath. Really, I don’t want you to stress over this. You have enough on your plate.”
He looked at your hand, his face level, silently assessing, and you allowed him the space to do so. His hand twitched a bit under yours before he turned it over, his palm meeting yours and his slender fingers weaving between your digits.
“What if-” he paused, as if not sure he should say what he was thinking. He took a breath as you instructed, then continued. “What if I want to do something about it?”
You couldn’t contain the smile that spread across your face, and you didn’t feel a need to.
“Then I would ask what you wanted to do.”
"It's not about what I want." He looked at you, eyes wide and panicked. “What if doing something is stupid and puts you in danger?”
You had never seen L so worked up before, and you were stunned for a moment. You realised he was letting you in, even more than before. He was letting you see his fear, something you're not sure he’s shown anyone willingly. And in this moment, you were reminded that he was just a young man. That his life had barely begun. Yet he had seen horrors you couldn’t imagine.
“If Light is Kira,” he continued, through gritted teeth. “then you are already endangered enough. But if our relationship is now romantic, he may use you to get to me. He would have no problem killing you if it brought him closer to his goal, and we both know that.”
“Ryusaki…” you tried, rubbing your thumb against the back of his cold, clammy hand. “He already knows I care for you. The others have been teasing me about my favouritism for months now. If he thought I knew anything, or that you would tell me anything, he would have already done it. If he could, he'd probably force me to write your name in the book somehow, so he didn’t have to do it himself.”
The fire in his eyes fizzled, and now he looked deflated again as if his anger was the only thing giving him the energy to fight.
“Then, I can’t tell you anything,” he concluded, “and that doesn’t make for a very strong relationship. One of secrecy where I’m forced to keep you at a distance…no that won’t do.”
He let go of your hand, looking away and rising to his feet. You felt that familiar tug in your heart, the one you felt at your desk when you realised he wasn’t beside you, the same feeling when he tried to end the hug. It felt like he was leaving you, and this time, it made you angry.
“Fuck that!” you said a little harsher than you intended. L turned to look at you in surprise; you had never raised your voice to him before (Aside from that time he arrested you and you didn’t know it was him you were cursing). “I refuse to let Kira make any decisions for me. That bastard doesn’t get to stop me from doing anything I want. And I want this, I’ll fight for it.”
You spoke with a vicious resolve, and L had to admit, it was intriguing.
“I’m done letting him ruin my life. I’m taking charge. I know there’s a way to prove it, to get him to confess. We can do it. We’ll catch that monster and frame his head on the wall.”
L was studying you; you could see it in his analytical eyes.
“‘Monster’ you say…” he wonders aloud, “There are many types of monsters; the one we face now... he’s a lying monster: He’s cunning, posing as a human, though having no understanding of the human heart. He works hard, but only to appease his own hubris. He seeks friendship even though he does not truly know how to love. I had once said, If I were to encounter such a monster, I would likely be eaten by them... because, in truth, I am that monster.”
He locks eyes with you, his gaze resolute.
“Tell me, honestly, how can you hate Kira and care for me? We are the same beast.” His body towered over yours, the shadows of the light obscuring his face under his hair. He was almost intimidating. “I do not fight for justice but my own amusement. How many lives have I disregarded all because I didn’t find the case challenging enough? How many people have I endangered solving this one? I allowed who I believed to be Kira intimate knowledge of the case, all because I thought it made the game more fun. I view people as disposable, just as Kira does, and manipulate them just as freely. Kira and I are cut from the very same cloth. Yet, you despise him and respect me.”
Your stare was hard and unforgiving. Rage shook your body, and L was sure that you had changed your mind. You hated him now, just as you should.
“No,” You said sternly, “You can lie to yourself all you want, but I won’t allow you to lie to me.”
You carefully lifted his chin, forcing him to hear you.
“You are flawed, yes. You certainly have an ego, but that doesn’t make you a monster. If you were presented with the power of the death note, you wouldn’t use it to make yourself a god. You don’t always fight fair, but the criminals you chase don’t either, and it would be silly to try for the high road. That is what makes you such a great detective. You do what needs to be done. But that’s not why I care about you.”
You saw a flicker of surprise on his face before he buried it once again.
“I care for you. Not L, the world’s greatest detective. I care for the man who treats me kindly and listens to my woes. I care for the man who checks in to make sure I’ve eaten and taken breaks. I care for the man who is so terrified of himself, he hides away from the world. I care for the man who was cursed with a brilliant mind and raised in a world of evil. I don’t care that you’re a genius, I’d love you dumb. I’m not interested in what you can do for me. I just want you.”
You watched as the man closed his eyes, unable to face your reverent judgment.
“You could step away right now, and I’d never think less of you. You could imprison Light, right or wrong, and I would stand by you. You could tell me that you don’t want this, and I wouldn’t fight you.” You moved your hand from his chin to rest against his cheek. “But if you bow down to Kira– admit defeat when your heart is still beating –I’ll never forgive you.”
His eyes snapped open, and he scanned your face, looking for a lie, but found one.
“We live in a world where gods of death are real,” you continued, “And that knowledge has made me realise even more that nothing in life is guaranteed. Nothing other than your own resolve. I chose life, and I wish you would choose the same.”
“You speak as if I am trying to kill myself.” he scrutinised.
“Since the arrest of Higuchi, you’ve stopped investigating," You pressed, "but we both know it’s not because you think we’ve stopped Kira. There’s still a second notebook- a second Kira. And I’m sure you’ve noticed the change in Yagami, almost as if coming in contact with the book has turned him back into Kira. I see the way he looks at you, the way he studies you. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”
“I have,” he confirmed.
“Then why? Why have you stopped trying to catch him? If he is actively trying to catch you– to kill you –and you do nothing to stop it, you are killing yourself. You’re allowing him to win. And I can’t– no, I won’t catch him without you.”
“You wouldn’t avenge me?” He asked curiously.
“I’m here for my own selfish reasons,” you reminded him, “If you die, then everyone I have left will have been taken by Kira. What motivation would I have left to stop him?”
“I see…” he said flatly, “so if Kira is to be caught, we must both live to see it happen.”
“Yes, but more so, I would blame you for your death. Avenging you wouldn’t be possible, as you and your killer would be one and the same. I would hate you.”
His hand joined yours, guiding it away from his face and holding it at his side.
“I’m not sure I could rest knowing you hated me. Not when you’re the only person I trust and the only person I can say I’ve ever cared for– besides Watari, of course,” He said softly, “But in all honesty, I’m not sure what to make of it. I can’t control you, and I have no desire to, but allowing you to grow any closer to me is dangerous. And I would hate myself if anything happened to you.”
His fingers traced over the creases in your hand as he spoke, memorising the fate lines.
“But I can’t deny the attachment I have for you.” he continued, “It clouds my judgement, and I spend valuable time constantly correcting it. I’ve been indulging in delusions of running away with you. Taking you far away from the danger, placing you in a secure palace where you want for nothing, allowing you to lose yourself in all the simple pleasures your poetic mind can conjure. I would rather collect a list of books for your library than face Kira at the moment.”
You felt like crying, his words striking your heart. While it was easy to deduce that he favoured you over the others, such a blatant confession wasn’t something you expected. You knew this fantasy was built in his mind as something to make you happy, but you knew that this was something he wanted as well. To live a life of ease, not as a pawn to world governments. To be free to have intelligence and not be weaponised. You realised then, he was tired. He was exhausted from chasing Kira, exhausted from comparing himself to the enemy.
“Let’s get out of here then.”
He looked at you curiously.
“You can afford a break, a real one. Your mind is scattered, and you can’t possibly expect to outsmart Kira if you’re worrying about everything else.” You explained, “I’ll talk to Watari about planning a secure getaway for you but for now…”
You softly grabbed his hand and led him towards the door, “We’re going to your room so you can change. Then we’ll discuss what we’re doing for the night.”
He allowed you to lead him down the hall, saying nothing while you travelled. He only spoke again after you stepped into his room.
“I am not often surprised,” he marveled “But you continue to amaze me. I can’t predict you. You’re courageous and strong-willed, but always kind. You’re extremely brilliant, but you’re humble about it. But most amazingly, you believe in me– not because of what I’ve done, but because of who I am –and I’ve never met someone who could separate the two.”
You flush under his praise, “You say you can’t predict me, but I swear, you see right through me.”
“I’m sorry,” he said with panic in his eyes, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
You laughed, the sound affecting L more than he expected. He loved it, loved making you laugh. He wanted to do it as much as possible, but that was something to figure out later.
“You didn’t,” you reassured, “but I do have something you can do to make it up to me,”
L smirked, knowing you were teasing him.
“I don’t understand. I didn’t offend, but you claim I need to make amends.”
“You don’t have to. It’s completely up to you.”
“What is it you would have me do?”
You didn’t answer with words, instead spreading your arms and then making a grabby motion towards him. Your smile was soft, gently pulling at your lips.
“Yes,” he said sweetly, “I suppose we could both use a boost of oxytocin.”
He took slow steps towards you, and then all at once, his arms were around your waist. He pulled you into him, lifting you slightly off the ground, bringing your neck to his hung head. You felt goosebumps where his nose nuzzled into your skin and your heart grew wings, soaring. You held L just as tightly, indulging in his desperate touch and burying your nose into his silky hair.
“I think we should revise our previous agreement about hugs.” He said after a moment, speaking into your throat.
“What amendments would you like to make?”
“I think four hugs a day is fine, but I don’t think we should limit ourselves to that. We do need to make up for our lack of hugs in the past after all. Furthermore,” he lifted his head slowly, so as not to knock you in the nose. He would feel horrible for that. “I think we could add or substitute hugs for other forms of affection as well.”
You hummed, and he continued.
“For instance, you have held my hand twice today, and both times, I felt a similar sort of comfort from the action. In fact, I’ve noticed any skin-to-skin contact with you eases me. Your hand on my face proved that. I tested this theory twice. Once, before our confessions, on the blanket. I placed my hand on the one you had placed on my shoulder. Then again, in your room, by simply touching your hand, tracing your palm instead of holding it. Both yielded similar results.”
You smiled at him fondly, your hands reaching up to play with his hair. As your nails skated across his scalp in lazy circles, his eyes fluttered a bit, his lids resting heavier.
“So you would like to add hand-holding? I’m fine with that.”
Your sweet voice flooded his mind, and your hands liberated his composure.
“Either you’re completely clueless to the effect you have on me,” he whispered, “Or you revel in it. And I’m not sure which is more terrifying.”
Your heart skipped a beat, which startled L for a moment, but then he realised it was because of an emotional response and not an attack from Kira.
“I wonder the same about you.”
L was unfamiliar with the look in your eyes. Your pupils were dilated, and your irises sparkled in the light. He’s never been looked at like that before. Your face looked brighter, and your body language (while restricted in your current position in his arms) was relaxed; open. And suddenly, he was entranced by your lips. You were talking, and he studied the muscles as they moved, unable to focus on anything else. He felt the urge to kiss you, and this shocked him. He forced himself to pay attention to your words.
“...besides you have all the power really. I know what I want, but if you don’t want me there’s nothing I can do about it. I could never kill you, but even if Kira forced my hand, I don’t know your name. And you’re the only one on the team who knows mine. Whether I like it or not, my heart is in your hands.”
“I would never hurt you,” he quickly defended, almost offended.
“I know,” you said simply, “That’s why I trust your hands.”
Your gaze was unwavering, your stance absolute. The emotions L tried to contain began stirring restlessly. He no longer felt like he had a hold on them. A hurricane of feelings he couldn’t quite name tore through his chest, and he didn’t know what else to do but act. He surged forward, pressing his lips to yours. It was awkward and brief, as neither of you puckered your lips, just touched them together. He kept his watchful eyes wide as he did so, gauging your response.
“Was that a kiss?” You finally asked once your silent shock was replaced by a highly amused smile.
A small frown overtook L’s face. “I fear if you had to ask…”
His sentence trailed off as he sat you back down on the ground. Then turned to walk to his closet. His was much larger than yours (which was ironic given he wore the same clothes for days straight), and you assumed he elected to change there when he closed the door. Now that he was out of sight, you allowed your excitement to show, jumping up and down and shaking your hands.
He had kissed you, almost. It was obvious that he didn't have the experience, but your heart swelled at the thought that he wanted those experiences with you. And he did kiss you, he held you in his arms, for no other reason than to hold you close.
You tried your best to calm down, but your bright smile would fool no one. Instead, you tried to focus your attention elsewhere, calling Watari. He had given you his number (or a number) months ago. He told you it was because he saw that you cared for his son and that his son trusted you. He also confessed that he was rather fond of you too. He wanted to see you make it out of this investigation.
He answered almost immediately.
“Hello, Ms Ogawa,” He was always careful to use your alias, even if he knew you were alone. “I notice that you’re calling from within headquarters, are you alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I was calling because I convinced Ryusaki to take some time off. I need you to plan a trip for him, no shorter than a week but something that’s easily extendable.”
The old man chuckled on the other end of the line.
“You convinced him to take a break? I didn’t think anyone was capable; I wonder how you managed.” He seemed amused, implying he knew something through his old man wisdom.
“I’m not entirely certain I did,” L emerged from the closet, looking nearly identical, just less soggy. You smiled at him as he made his way towards you. “But I’ll be very cross with him if he doesn’t. I think he knows that.”
The man you spoke of raised a single eyebrow as if to say, “Oh really?”
You made a similar face that left no room for argument.
“I see,” Watari continued, “Shall I book this trip for one or two?”
You couldn’t hide your surprise at the question. You didn’t know how to answer. You didn’t have to though as L decided then to grab the phone from your hand, pinching it awkwardly between his fingers.
“Two,” he replied on your behalf. “We’ll also need a cover so that the others don’t know we’re together.”
“Understood. How soon would you like to leave?”
L returned the phone to you, trusting your decision.
“We’ll leave tomorrow. We have plans for tonight, and I’d like to rest beforehand.”
“That’s very wise, Ms Ogawa. I’ll send over the itinerary soon.”
“Thank you, Watari.”
You hung up, placing your phone back in your pocket. When you looked up, L’s hand was extended, offering you a sweater.
“If you intend to go out,” he explained, “You’ll need a sweater.”
You took it gratefully, and he turned his head again, giving you space to change. When you finished pulling the shirt over your head, he looked up and felt like he had swallowed his tongue. He never anticipated that seeing you in his clothes would affect him this way. He was truly smitten by you, and that was something he could no longer deny.
“Ready?” You asked, disrupting his train of thought.
He nodded, and you offered him your hand. A small smile spread across his face as he took it. He trusted your hands too, he realised.
You reached the garage, selecting an inconspicuous sedan for your ventures. L moved to open the door when you stopped him.
“Wait!” Your heart was in your throat, but you closed your eyes and forced out the words. “My favourite flowers are poppies. I think it’s cool how versatile they are. The moon absolutely amazes me. I understand how its gravitational pull affects our tides, but I still can’t wrap my mind around it. I also really like The Smiths, which raises conflicting feelings in me because I hate Morrison as a person, but man, if he isn’t great as crying into a microphone.”
You heard a soft chuckle and felt a hand reach out to hold your bicep. You took a deep breath, continuing with Ryusaki’s encouragement.
“I prefer a good milkshake over any other dessert. I think time travel is probably the coolest superpower, but I think it’s too great a power that I wouldn’t trust myself with it. I like cats, but I’ve always wanted a pet raccoon. I don’t think I could get one, morally, but they just look so cute. If I had one, I would love that little guy so much. I would give him a really pretentious name; find a way to grant him Lordship.”
You opened your eyes slowly to see Ryusaki smiling, his thumb tracing circles on your arm. His eyes darted around your face, twinkling in city lights. His heart pounded harder with every word you uttered. Romance was never something he prioritised in his life, it wasn’t something he ever saw happening. Most people were put off by him, and it wasn’t often that he actually met people in his work. He could have lived the rest of his life hiding behind a computer screen, an imperceivable entity known only to one man. But now, he would give anything to stand in the sun with you while you look at him the way you do now. Affection and amnesty dripping from your gaze.
“I’d like to try and kiss you again,” he said timidly. “If you’d show me how.”
Your smile split your face, feeling overjoyed by his words. Each move you made, he mirrored, hands on cheeks and bodies touching as he matched your steps forward. You jumped up on your tiptoes, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. Ryusaki’s eyes widened comically, and a hand rose to his lips as if he’d find your kiss there. But soon, his shock dissipated, replaced by a look of hunger.
This time, he led, dropping a hand to your waist to hold you close and using his other to lift your chin. He moved in so slowly, and your body thrummed with the anticipation of contact. He stopped, his lips barely grazing yours, and you couldn’t hide your desperate tremble when you felt his soft breath against your own. He pressed his puckered lips against yours, and you took no time reciprocating.
You brought a hand to the back of his neck, guiding him and pulling him closer. You felt like you were flying, your heart beating its feathered wings against your ribcage. You pulled your lips away just to bring them back, and you could feel his confidence growing as he tilted his head and his grip on your waist grew tighter. You began moving your lips against his, testing the waters. The rhythm was awkward at first, but he caught it soon enough.
His chest was rising and falling quickly against you, and he brought his hands up to hold your face. You lost yourself in his touch, in the way he clung to you. You were being consumed and felt no dire to run from it. He caught your bottom lip between his teeth, and you gasped.
Your eyelids flutter as your brain caught up to what was happening around you. Ryusaki was no longer kissing you but carefully cataloguing the look on your face in his mind. He was reviewing everything he did and how you reacted to it. He had decided that he loved kissing you, and he wanted you to love it too. He wanted love to be something you associated with him, especially now that he knew his brain was making a similar connection. He knew it was probably too soon to say something like that, but he could wait. He would wait forever if he had to. He had the brightest star in the sky in his palms, and he didn’t intend to let this shooting star fall from his grasp.
You were seeing sides of L that you never thought you would, ones you never thought to look for. He held you like a precious stone, something sacred. He looked at you like you were a wonder to behold, the eighth wonder of the world. It made it hard to breathe, suffocated by his silent adoration.
“So, where are we going this evening?” He asked from high above.
“I don’t know,” you said breathlessly, “but we have all of Tokyo, I’m sure we’ll find something.”
He loved this look on you. The joy in your eyes, the lack of stress in your muscles. Your glee was infectious, and he didn’t mind it.
“As long as you’re by my side, I think anything would do.”
He testingly laid a kiss on your forehead as he said it, and you felt like you would melt to the floor in a pile of goo. You removed a hand from his neck, resting it on his, and were delighted when he instantly intertwined your fingers.
“Well, I’m not going anywhere, Ryu-”
“Lawliet,” He interjected. You tilt your head, confused, and L does his best not to swoon as you rest your head in his hand on your cheek. “My name is Lawliet.”
You break out into a blinding grin, and Lawiet knows then that smile was the sunlight he was meant to bask in. Those were the rays that would light his darkest nights. The beams that would guide him through the intricate maze of life.
He had found all he needed. A friend who listens to his grief and grievances. One who cares enough to try and understand his mind and soothe it at the same time. Not for her own convenience, but for his betterment; never pushing the boundary of discomfort but bringing thrill to the change. He found a fresh pair of eyes, for when his get dull and tired, to show him the artistry outside of the ghastly monstrosities he and the world bathed in. A person brave enough to show up, even on the bad days. The whole world could fit in his palms when he held you like this.
“I’m not going anywhere, Lawliet.” you corrected.
L smiled, squeezing your hands three times. You returned the sentiment with a kiss to the hand you held in your own.
Tag List: @barbecuetiddy, @Isshecrazyorissheclever, @purple-amaranthe, @rudy-the-winged-wolf, @scorpiolystoned, @supernerdycookietrashblrr, @tayswiftlovebot, @wannapizzamymindposts, @whoreforklitz
I hope you enjoyed the read! Like I said, I don't think I'll do much writing for L, but I really enjoyed this. I hope even if you don't have as much love for this character as I do, you can still get something out of it :))
#rancid writes#death note#death note fanfiction#death note l#death note imagines#death note l lawliet#death note fluff#fluff#l lawliet#l death note#l x reader#l lawliet x reader#death note characters#friends to lovers
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insomnia
L’s been having a little more trouble than usual falling asleep lately. you have a feeling you know just how to help.
pairing: l lawliet x reader
warnings: none! just sweet (oblivious) L
L didn’t normally get much sleep, but he was going on four days straight now. he was growing more and more delirious by the minute and the words on the page in front of him jumbled in his view. he needed to sleep. in his defence he did try, to no avail of course. at this point he’d given up, figuring if he was going to be awake anyways he might as well get some work done.
when you’d come into the room, eyes half-closed and dragging your feet on the floor, you’d nearly scared him out of his skin.
“L, what’s the matter?” you’d asked him sleepily, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and walking over to see what he was looking at.
“oh, i was just going over some things for the case again, seeing if there’s anything i might’ve missed.” he held up a piece of paper to you, “you can never be too thorough you know.”
“yeah… just, do you know what time it is? you need to get at least a couple hours a night, i told you your concentration will waver if you don’t.”
“i tried, but no luck.” he smiled at you, “not to worry, i feel more awake than ever. i was thinking about revisiting my research into ray pember’s suspects again, see if anybody else seems to fit the kira bill.”
the bags under his eyes were dark and heavy, his skin paler than usual and much more deprived of life, it would’ve been obvious to anybody that he hadn’t been sleeping. he was looking at you with wide eyes, trying to seem awake to hide the fact that they were dry and reddening with fatigue.
“i’ll stay with you then. if you’re gonna be up you should at least have company, right?”
“you don’t have to do that, please, go back to bed.” he sat up a little in his chair, hands falling from his knees, “i’ll be up regardless but there’s no need to deprive you of sleep in the process.”
“nonsense! i can do both, as long as you don’t mind sharing your seat.”
he looked at you, puzzled, “my seat? why?”
instead of answering him, you gently moved his arm out of the way for you to crawl over him, seating yourself on his lap in between his chest and his bent legs, “figured this would probably be the most comfortable for me to go back to sleep. ‘s this okay?”
“oh, well yes i suppose i can work around you if you’re lying down. are you sure you’ll be able to get comfortable?”
“don’t worry about me.” you laid your head down on his shoulder, nose pressed against his neck as your arms wrapped around his torso, “you just get back to whatever you were doing, i’ll be fine.”
at first, he sat quietly reading over the files he had spread out in front of him, blinking his eyes profusely to try and rid them of the tired blur they’d donned. soon he could feel your thumbs gently rubbing either side of his back, trying to coax him to sleep, begging him to put the papers down and shut his eyes. he did feel himself growing much more comfortable in his chair, and because he had to make room for you to fit he had lost the last bit of concentration he was clinging onto.
the slow rhythm of your breaths pressed against his chest were like a lullaby, his arms starting to grow heavier at his sides as he dropped the paper to the table, “what are you doing?”
you hummed in response, pushing him back into the chair with your head and trying not to giggle at the small huff that escaped him, “trying to help. is it working?”
he sighed, “if you mean your attempts at trying to make me feel tired, then yes.” his arms came up to wrap tightly around your upper back, elbows resting against his knees to not let his arms slip down, “i’d like you to sleep here for the rest of the night please.”
“don’t worry, i wasn’t planning on leaving.”
his chin came down to rest on top of your head, eyelids finally falling shut as a heavy breath of air fanned over you. he hadn’t felt so tired in years, so easily swept away by sleep. he could feel your heartbeat against his own, falling into a similar rhythm as they both slowed to a peaceful pace. he figured he could probably fall asleep whenever he wanted to if you came to his aid, and though his inexperienced mind didn’t yet know what exactly the reason was that you had this affect on him, he did know it most definitely wouldn’t be the last time it happened.
as he began to slip into his much needed slumber, you could hear him mutter,
“thank you.”
#l lawliet#l lawliet x you#l lawliet x reader#l lawliet fluff#l lawliet fic#death note#death note fic#death note fluff#l death note#anime#manga#anime fluff
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⋆｡°✩ death note reaction - little things they do for you
includes: established relationship, ooc light idc that he isn't romantic i love him :((
a/n: i've been rewatching death note so i'm thinking of taking reqs for l, light, and near. feel free to send any ideas !! (preferably light x male reader)
gn reader (no pronouns used)
⋆｡°✩ l - sharing his sweets
(word count 224)
you rub the sleepiness out of your eyes as you stumble out of your hotel bedroom and into the main room. l sits in his usual position on one of the chairs; absentmindedly pulling his bottom lip between his fingers. he pauses slightly when he hears you approach as he continues looking through the various files sprawled across the desk.
“anything new?” you murmur, setting a small, strawberry pastry down beside him.
“nothing yet.” l replies.
he reaches over to hold the plate up to his lips. he breaks off a small piece before handing it over to you. “thank you,” you softly smile at him. the treat tastes sweet in your mouth. you pick a piece of fresh strawberry from the top as you watch l continue to work. “it’s getting late.”
“i’ll come to bed soon. you don’t have to wait up for me.”
you shake your head. “i’ll stay.”
l startles slightly when your head falls against his shoulder. he stares at you with wide eyes as your eyes flutter closed; your body relaxed against his side. he stiffens beneath your touch as he contemplates what to do.
finally, he reaches over to gently shake you awake. “y/n,” he whispers. you blink up at him through tired eyes as he softly smiles at you. “we can go to bed now.”
⋆｡°✩ light - confiding in you
(word count 227)
a soft sigh leaves your lips as you let yourself collapse onto light’s perfectly-made bed. he watches you from the corner of his eye with a soft smile as he pulls his chair back to sit down at his desk. “tired?” he asks.
“it was a long day,” you hum.
light walks over to sit beside you on his bed as a comfortable silence falls over the room as you move to sit beside him before light speaks again.
“somebody approached me today. he claimed that he was l.” you remain silent as his hands ball into fists; his eyebrows furrow in annoyance. “he’s screwed me. if he really is l, i can’t risk writing his name down. but if he isn’t, why would they still be investigating me?”
“light,” you whisper. you reach out to grab his hand, taking it into your own. he remains silent as you intertwine your fingers together in an attempt to soothe him. “think about it. they’re getting more desperate. why would l risk revealing himself to you if they have any reason to suspect you?”
you gently rub your thumb against light’s skin in an attempt to calm him. you watch as his shoulders slowly begin to relax before he nods. “you’re right,” he smiles. he leans in to pull you into a quick peck. “i’m glad i have you.”
⋆｡°✩ near - playing with his hair
(word count 239)
“near?” you whisper as you cautiously approach the boy. he barely reacts as you walk over to sit on the ground beside him; his hand continues absentmindedly stacking and restacking blocks. he twists a stray strand of hair between his fingers.
“it’s late.” you say. your voice cuts through the previous silence. despite his seeming apathy, you can tell he’s listening by the way his hands momentarily pause their building. “will you come to bed with me?”
near remains silent for a few minutes in response. you carefully reach over to rest a gentle hand against his back before you slowly begin to rub small circles against his skin.
his deliberation comes to an end when he restacks the blocks. “okay.” you smile softly as he intertwines your fingers together, following after you as you stand up and lead him to a small, designated bedroom.
near slips underneath the covers first before you join him. he curls his body up beside you, leaning his head against your chest. the soft locks of his hair tickle against your bare skin as he comfortably nuzzles himself into your warmth.
you bring a hand up to carefully begin to card your fingers through near’s hair; twisting the strands between your fingers much like he does. “i like it when you do that,” he whispers into the darkness.
you smile, leaning down to press a kiss against his forehead. “get some rest, near.”
#death note x reader#death note x male reader#death note fluff#death note x you#death note x y/n#death note imagine#death note one shot#death note scenario#death note drabble#death note reactions#l x reader#l x male reader#l fluff#light x male reader#light x reader#light fluff#near x male reader#near x reader#near fluff#l imagine#l one shot#light imagine#light one shot#light x you#light x y/n#l x you#l x y/n#near imagine#near one shot#near x you
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come home to me ..
( ask by @siireneyes ; kinda deleted it by accident but i remember it so i shall deliver !!! )
warnings : very fluffy, kinda ooc light (basically him pre-death note), typos maybe
summary: you’re feeling down after a day of work but your lovely boyfriend shall make you feel better ! ♡
you shuffled into your quiet apartment, the lights were off due to how late it was. you dropped your bag and keys on the couch and headed to your shared bedroom. you tried to be as quiet as you could, hoping to not wake up your boyfriend. despite your efforts, he woke up anyways.
he’s always been a light sleeper, so it’s to be expected. “why are you so late?” light asked after looking at the clock on the bedside table. “did i wake you up? sorry.” you apologized as you slowly got into the bed after changing into your pjs. he was quiet, expecting an answer for his previous question. you sighed.
“my coworker gave me his work to complete since he had to leave early.” you finally answered.
“he can’t do that, you should’ve said no.” light remarked, “i couldn’t, he’s super close to the superiors.” you snuggled into him.
light wasn’t dumb, far from it actually. this job was draining you, emotionally and physically. he put the dots together quite quickly when he noticed your under-eyes from not getting enough sleep, the fact that you two barely go to sleep together anymore and that one time he accompanied you to a work party, you looked like you were gonna cry any second while you were talking to your superiors.
he rubbed your back, hoping to make you feel better. “darling, i really think you should quit.” he said. you pulled away to look at him. there was tears welling in your eyes, his eyes widened. he didn’t like it all when you cried.
“listen, i make more than enough to support the both of us and it’ll give you time to relax and focus on stuff that makes you feel happy.” he continued. “that does sound nice, but i dont know..” you sounded reluctant.
“i’ll find you another job if you still wanna work, but this isn’t working.” he stated. light isn’t a big fan of comforting people but if it’s you, he’ll do anything to help. “this coworker of yours really pisses me off, i’ll take care of him too, i promise.” his hand wiping away the tears running down your face.
you felt so much better when you talked to him, thoughts about work or anything bothering you flood away. “thank you, light.” you were truly so grateful you had him.
“i hope you know i’m always here for you, if something is troubling you, i will do my best to solve it.” he smiled. you kissed him, how could you not? he’s always so sweet to you.
“i love you.” you said.
“i love you too. now go to sleep, we’ll talk in the morning.” he kissed you on the forehead.
© sanb3rry2023
#✿ san's work !#✿ fluff#death note#death note x reader#light yagami#light yagami x reader#light yagami x fem!reader#light yagami x masc!reader#light yagami x gn!reader#light x reader#light yagami fluff#light yagami comfort#light yagami x male! reader#light yagami drabble#death note fluff#light yagami x y/n#light yagami x you#death note x gn!reader#✿ drabble#✿ comfort
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L strikes me as someone who has trouble sleeping (obviously) so after working really late into the night he would walk from his desk to your room and just tap on your head and ask if he can sleep in your room just because he finds your presence comforting
He knows you’re close but he doesn’t know if you’re that close. Honestly, you’re the first real friend he’s ever had and he doesn’t really understand the invisible rules of friendship.
He gets in your face, fixes your lopsided shirt and constantly plucks candy from your hands. I. return, you drag a finger along your lip and smear lipstick on his cheeks, ruffle his hair and “manhandle” him wherever he’s walking, pushing and pulling him every which way.
Neither one of you have very defined physical boundaries and neither one of you mind very much, even if your mouth-breathing on his neck gets annoying sometimes.
Today, you’d been particularly impressive with how much you’d provoked him. You’d taken a nap on his shoulder, which wouldn’t have bothered him so much except your drool traveled all the way from his collarbones to his crotch. You licked your hand and pushed his face away with it. You knocked over his marshmallow tower and worst of all, you ate the last slice of Ultimate Triple Double-Layered Chocolate Cake.
Despite all of this, when you yawned and hugged him goodnight, his mood dropped as you dramatically sashayed away. Light made a comment about finally being able to focus but L’s eyes followed you sadly as you ran into the door and cursed under your breath.
2 hours later, you were snoozing away in your room, one sock on and a baggy t-shirt halfway up your torso as your legs sag over the bed. Light has gone to bed and L’s brain just wouldn’t turn off no matter how hard he tried.
You rolled over and about tumbled over the edge of your mattress, your right foot stuck in blankets the only thing preventing it. L chuckled to himself.
You looked warm. The smooth expanse of your stomach looked soft. The little breathy gasps coming out of your mouth and the flayed out mess of your hair, he noted every detail of your sleeping form.
Then he stood up. He made his way up the elevator, down the hall and found himself at your door. He didn’t want to wake you but out of habit, his knuckles tapped lightly on the wood anyway.
Silence but the sound of your breathing from within. L pushed the door open. Closed it. Softly padded over to your low bed.
Then he knocked on your forehead. Gently but nonetheless knocking like he wanted to be let into your mind.
“Y/n… Y/n…”
“Mmmmm…”
“Y/n…” He said a bit more urgently, a whisper yell.
“Mmmm.. wh-what..?” Your eyes were still closed and he was still knocking.
“Can I sleep with you?”
“What?” You made a confused face and blinked a few times.
“In your bed, can I sleep with you?”
“That doesn’t make it any better… You want to have sex with me?” You mumble and plant a hand to sit up on, pushing your face into his as you yawn the sleep away.
“No, not sexual intercourse! I just-… Can I sleep beside you?” He rephrased quickly, his panicked whispers hot on your face.
You grunted and reached up to fist his collar. With another yawn and a groan, you tugged his body down to the bed with shocking strength. He landed above you and bounced a little on the bed.
He was about to say something really smart like “Uh nuh” when you shoved him to the side and he landed on his back. Your bed was really warm and so were you, his hand was draped over your waist still and he sighed breathily.
L felt a lot of things currently. He felt hot, like really hot and nervous. He felt comfortable, because both your bed and you were way softer than he imagined. He felt intrusive, like he wondered into one of your intimate dreams and become a mismatched part of it. And he felt so, so happy.
He shifted a little closer to you, his thighs touching the back of yours and he breathed in the scent of your hair. He felt your heartbeat with his right hand still on your torso, he felt your breathing too. Then he realized you’d fallen back asleep, your airy snores resumed easily.
His hand twitched and he held you a little tighter. He was allowed into this good, comfortable moment. He was going to enjoy this good, comfortable moment because he knew this was the only time he’d ever have it, just as it is.
You smelled good. You moved and his hands were full of beautiful goodness. You were close. His nose on your neck, his eyes searching for your face in the unforgiving dark and his lips puffing out pathetic whimpers.
L eventually fell asleep eternally grateful for this gift from the universe; a gift of a moment with someone he didn’t deserve. He would clutch and have this moment for all it’s worth, he would have you for all you’d give him.
The next morning, you noticed the back of your shirt was wet and the front of it was balled tightly in scared, gentle hands.
#oph.posts#oph.anons#l lawliet x reader#l x reader#death note#l x reader fluff#deathnote fluff#Death Note fluff#death note x reader fluff#l lawliet fluff#l lawliet x reader fluff#deathnote l lawliet#deathnote l lawliet fluff#deathnote l lawliet x reader#deathnote l lawliet x reader fluff#l lawliet#deathnote l
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Mello: "I just came to get the photo you have of me." // The Photo:
#mihael keehl#death note memes#death note#death note fanart#death note fluff#mello#death note mello#mello death note#dn
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"Sit on my face"
Fandom: Death Note
Pairing: Mello X Fem!Reader
Request: "Hi h!i:D May I request for the event, Mello pleasuring reader to help them forget about their extremely exhausting day with prompt 14 “Sit on my face” " ◜By lovely anon!◞
Genre: Smut
Format: Fic
Warnings: Explicit smut, Dom!Mello, Sub!Reader, Praising, Face sitting, Dirty talk, Cunnilingus, MDNI
Word Count: 1.6K
A/n: Face sitting with Mello? Eye eye captain!
There was nothing more relaxing than getting a massage from your boyfriend after coming home, having an extremely exhausting day at work. Your mind was going numb with the way his hands were gently roaming around your body, massaging the fatigue away; and he was definitely aware of that.
"Feels good baby girl?" He said quietly, fingers reaching for your puffy cheeks to squish them from behind. All you could see was the pillow under your face, but from his calmness you knew that a soft smile was flaunting on his face.
"Mhm honey, feels amazing. Honestly, how can your hands be so professional at this? They always focus on the right spot"
"Especially when I'm fingering you~"
His remark made you chuckle and look back at him from your shoulder, to meet a gorgeous, proud smirk, sitting so perfectly on his face.
"Of course, especially when you're doing that"
You were waiting for him to say another dirty thing so that maybe he could earn a tiny bit of blush from your face, but a tiny bit turned into a dozen when his hand slowly went down on your entrance, leaving your hips untouched. Your breath got hitched in your throat as his fingers started teasing your entrance, coming up and down on your slit to make you shiver slightly and close your thighs around his hand. That didn't stop him from going further though; now it was his fingertips poking your hole, remaining close to your clit but not making sensible contact with it to make you go wild.
"Mello..." Your shaky voice and the hints of frustration hidden in it made him raise his head to look at your figure from behind, admiring how your hair was scattered freely on your back.
"What? You're not in the mood?"
"No, it's just that... I don't think I can move around so much... I'm worn out from all the hard work I did earlier..."
He nearly frowned when he thought that he needed to let this chance slip from his hands; but suddenly, an idea popped into his mind that made him beam hugely, thinking about the compelling outcome.
"What if you don't have to move around at all?"
His interesting comment made you sit up and look at him curiously. He didn't seem to be messing with you, even though his playful grin hadn't left his face.
"What do you mean? How are we supposed to have sex when I'm not doing anything?"
"Well there's no need for you to do anything! You just have to remain still, that's all"
Your widened eyes showed that you were kinda getting it, but he couldn't miss the opportunity to witness your stunned expression when you hear about his tempting offer from his own mouth.
"Are you... Are you trying to say that..."
"Sit on my face. That's what I'm trying to say"
Your heart slammed itself hard to your thorax.
"I'm not sure about this. We've never done this before"
"Which is exactly why we should give it a try"
Mello's abs looked even hotter when he was lying down on the bed. And you? Looking insecure, unsure, and nervous, sitting beside him; you weren't really matching each other at that moment.
When he saw that you were still caught up in your thoughts, he sighed and took your hand to pull you near him gently. You didn't resist him, but you still weren't certain if this was a good idea. It was literally written all over your face, with how you were sulking and looking at your boyfriend's gorgeous face, imagining how it was going to get crushed by your thighs.
"C'mon girly, what are you waiting for? It's going to be amazing"
Yeah, you didn't have any doubts on that one. Of course it was going to be amazing. It was Mello and his damn tongue, for fuck's sake.
"I don't know babe... What if..."
"What if what?"
What if you look ugly sitting on his face like that? What if you suffocate him with your weight? What if...
Mello knew what was going through your mind. It wasn't his first day of meeting you.
He shook his head with a small smile before pressing your hand reassuringly, his other hand reaching for your left cheek. His voice was as firm as ever, not even a tiny bit of doubt floating in it.
"You'll be fine, gorgeous. I wouldn't have suggested this if I didn't know whether it was going to work out. Just trust me on this one, ok?"
Well, there couldn't be any arguments left on your mind when he puts it that way.
Slowly, you let out a deep breath before raising you foot to place it next to his head. You were remaining on top of his face, still not attempting to sink down fully. He rolled his eyes at your uncertainness and grabbed your hips, pulling you down with force. Your clit suddenly slammed against his lips.
"Oh!"
Look at you! He hadn't even started yet and you were already moaning.
Trying to cover your excited smile with your hand was useless. Mello had already seen it.
"So now you're giggling? You were acting a bit different earlier"
"Oh shut up! Let's just get this over with"
"So bold talking to me like that. Let's see how long you can keep up with this attitude"
He spent a few seconds staring at your face, his heart warming up by how you looked so entrancing from his point of view. If only you could see yourself through his eyes...
Just when you wanted to ask him what was taking him so long, his lips met with your cunt. A low pitched moan left your mouth as his tongue started playing with your clit. It was unbelievable how skilled he was at eating you out, how his damn tongue made you lost your mind and try to grind against it harder. But this time... It felt better, closer, deeper. His tongue was warm, and so was your pussy. The only difference was that there weren't any tasty liquid coming out of his mouth.
It was like his mouth had mistaken your folds for your lips. He was going deeper and deeper, closing his eyes to enjoy the taste of your arousal. He had to grip your hips in order to make you stay above him, though it wasn't easy since you were squirming around so much. But tonight was all about you, so he could put up with that, just for now.
"O-oh! A- Oh my god!"
"Right?~ Told you it was gonna be fun"
Your entrance was aching a bit, but the pleasure was too much to give up on. You could only grip the mattress under his head to keep yourself from falling, and of course binging your core nearer to him as it wasn't literally on his face already. Was he protesting? Heck no, not when he could enjoy the view of your back arching so prettily above him.
His tongue was moving around everywhere, your walls, the surface, your hole, anywhere but your damn clit. No matter how much you pressed yourself against his face, he wasn't gonna give up on the teasing.
You totally forgot about how you were worried to suffocate him.
"Mello! Stop teasi- Ah!"
He finally did it. The second you started talking, he sucked on your clit so hard that you nearly saw stars. A loud moan, almost close to a scream escaped your mouth, but it didn't stop there; as his mouth didn't let go of your clit.
Now your sensitive flesh was fully in his mouth, his tongue moving up and down on it. The tip of his tongue pocked your hole then came up again to the apex. His talent in French kissing was a blessing and a problem at the same time, making you moan so hard you were sure that complains were coming at your door tomorrow morning.
"Shit shit shit! Right there! Please! Oh shit!"
"Mhm!"
One of his hands left your hips and came down to your pussy, rubbing on your way in and pushing inside. You couldn't see clearly anymore, all you could feel was the heat coming from your core filling you up, and his mouth fueling your body, dragging you closer to your release.
But apparently, it wasn't enough; since you started grinding on his tongue wildly, letting out lewd sounds. Weren't you tired of moving? That didn't really cross your mind at that time.
Thankfully Mello played along, keeping his tongue out for you to crush yourself on it. You tasted too good, so he was willing to let you smother him with your cunt if it meant he could have more of your arousal.
"Fuck! Oh my fucking go- Ah! Mello! I'm- I'm-"
And it happened. You started shivering harder than usual, screaming as your hot cum filled up his mouth. He placed his tongue on your entrance, unwilling to lose even one drop of your arousal. Your hole twitching above his muscle felt really nice.
Your scream was finally over, but your panting for breath wasn't. You took a deep breath before looking down at your boyfriend, finally seeing how red his face had became.
Poor guy. You knew he was going to have a hard time down there.
But you didn't feel that guilty, since he didn't seem to be upset.
Mello smiled when he spotted your eyes on him, stretching his arms out to run his fingers though his hair.
"Well, thanks for the meal"
Yeah, thanks for not refusing to eat your meal.
Reblogs are wildly appreciated! :>
#ashthemadwriter's smutember event#mello x y/n#mello x you#mello x reader#mello smut#mello keehl smut#mello keehl#mihael keehl x reader#mello imagines#mello scenarios#mello fluff#death note x y/n#death note x you#death note x reader#death note scenarios#death note smut#death note imagines#death note fluff#mihael keehl#ashthemadwriter
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relationship hcs ; l lawliet
requested by ; anonymous (18/02/22)
fandom(s) ; death note
fandom masterlist(s) ; here
character(s) ; l lawliet
outline ; “hiiiii, can i get a death note one with Manga! L?”
warning(s) ; none, just fluff!
due to the nature of his job as a detective, his schedule is extremely random and you’re not going to have much spare time to spend together
he’s married to his job first and foremost, but your relationship is a close second priority to him — which is saying a lot given his insane dedication to his craft
because quality time is so rare, he shows his love for you by sending you gifts (usually your favourite foods or nicknacks that remind him of you) and leaving heartfelt notes around your home for you to find when he’s abroad
he always makes a point to text you good morning and goodnight every day that you’re apart since he knows you fret over his safety during jobs
tends to speak very matter-of-factly and this applies to you as well — which can be flattering and flustering depending on what he’s talking about
you’re the only person who gets to mess with his hair — which he honestly finds very relaxing and you’ll usually notice him closing his eyes and his shoulders dropping when you start playing with his hair
spoils you completely. his salary is high and he lives a simple life so whatever he can spare goes into spoiling you
says that you’re his heart — you’re the empathetic side, the devil’s advocate whilst he’s the cool and rational one
it sounds strange, but it works for you
thinks you’re adorable when you wear his clothes but as he doesn’t have much in his closet he prefers that you keep your hermit crab habits to times when he’s working from home
he’ll give you the best bite of whatever confection he’s eating if it’s something you like — e.g. the corner pieces of a brownie (or the centre piece if that’s your preference)
will not let you anywhere near anyone in his business because he’s more than aware of the risks associated with his position and reputation in the world of criminal justice
the kids at wammy’s orphanage adore you and call you l’s spouse and always try to play with you because you’re ‘way more fun than l’
(he doesn’t contest that fact)
you are the only person who can convince him to eat something of some nutritional value (but even then it can be a fight)
sleeping arrangements usually have him clinging to you like a koala: head on your chest with his arms and legs wrapped around you, restricting you from moving
thankfully he’s a light sleeper, but you feel bad for waking him up every time you need to bathroom
he isn’t really physically affectionate otherwise, the furthest he’ll go is linking your elbows or giving you a brief kiss on the cheek/temple
doesn’t give you any nicknames and will just call you by your first name — but when talking about you to anyone else you’re just called ‘my partner’ before he quickly changes the subject for your own safety
#sleepingdeath#gender neutral reader#fluff hcs#fluff#death note fluff#death note x reader#l lawliet x reader#l lawliet fluff#death note l x reader
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Lunchtime - Matsuda x Reader (gender neutral)
synopsis_ after matsuda has a rough day, you try your best to comfort him during a lunch together
word count_ 1,479
warning_ fluff, hurt/comfort, very cringey
note_ this is the first fanfic i've written so yeah, i know it's really, really bad. but i love matsuda soo :)
Quickly going through your notes, you make sure to double-check all the names. Despite it being tedious work, you were interested in the new turns this case was bringing. Just a few months ago you joined as a member of the task force, looking to find and put an end to Kira, and now you were investigating the renowned insurance company, Yotsuba Cooperation.
Standing up, you made your way towards L, carrying the sizable stack of papers in your hands.
“Ryuzaki, Here's a list of domestic employees in the Yotsuba Group.”
“Thank you very much”, L said as you handed it to him. He started looking through the papers, and you being unsure of what to do next, awkwardly stood there watching him. While doing so, you felt someone's gaze fixed on you. Looking up, you saw who it was. Matsuda.
You smiled at him, and he smiled back.
Despite trying to keep up your enthusiasm, you couldn’t lie, this was all really draining on you. It had only been a handful of people in the police force who joined the Kira investigation, and your decision to do so didn’t come without its consequences. In the past few days, ever since your parents found out about the ultimatum given by the police force, they've been calling you nonstop and pressuring you to leave the investigation behind, saying that it wasn't worth losing your job over. At times, you agreed with them. All this pressure and putting your life at risk... made you wonder if your contributions to the team even made it worth the cost.
But Matsuda... made things a bit better. He was the only person in the task force you felt like you could really talk to. Everyone else was too serious, understandably so, but it didn’t help put your mind at ease.
For the past few weeks, you and Matsuda have been eating lunch together, discussing just about anything. Talking about the investigation, your otherwise somewhat mundane lives, your futures, and other things you found interesting. Whether that be senseless conspiracy theories on Kira or about how you thought L was leading the case.
You found a lot of comfort in these lunchtimes together. It was much more than just a lunch with a friendly colleague. It was a bit of normalcy and positivity in your otherwise gloomy and stressful life. And it wasn't just the upbeat conversations that helped. Whenever the feeling of worthlessness started to grow on you, when you felt like you might be nothing more than dead weight to the task force, he would hurriedly try to convince you otherwise, with one of his hands covering his mouth, still stuffed with food, leading to more than one occasion of him choking.
Now, as you were smiling at him, you recognized what he was feeling. You'd seen that look in his eyes many times before. Just like you did from time to time, he was also feeling quite useless to the task force.
His smile quickly dropped as he put on a more serious face.
"Ryuzaki! Is there anything I can do, besides being Misa's manager?"
"You want to be useful?" L asked, not sparing Matsuda a glance.
"Yes!" Matsuda answered eagerly. He seemed ready to do just about anything to prove himself.
"Then could you get me another cup of coffee?"
You cringed at L's reply and felt upset about how Matsuda seemed so defeated by L's request. It wasn't just L who made comments like that. Unfortunately, Matsuda was a frequent recipient of criticism from most of the task force.
Even so, he walked away to fulfill L's request, looking back at you for a moment. You tried to give him a sympathetic smile, and again, he smiled back, just like he always did. But this time, the smile seemed forced.
time skip to lunch time
You waited anxiously at the place where you and Matsuda usually had lunch. He was never this late, in fact, you two would usually walk here together. But you haven't seen him since he went to fetch L's coffee, and it was beginning to worry you. Matsuda was relatively good at not letting all of the stress and criticism get to him. He was always quick to bounce back and have a smile on his face. It was one of the reasons you liked him so much, and in a 'more than friendly colleagues' kind of way. But today might have been his breaking point.
After a few more minutes, you finally saw him coming your way. His hair was slightly disheveled, lunch in one hand and papers in another. You quickly straightened your back and put on a smile to try and brighten the mood that you knew wouldn't be all that great. However, the second he sat down, your face dropped.
His eyes were slightly red, and even though he had a smile on his face, it was obvious that he had just cried.
He quickly looked at his watch, "I'm sorry I was so late y/n! I seem to have lost track of time." he said letting out a laugh.
You looked at him as he quickly opened his lunch and started to eat. His eyes looking everywhere but at yours. You figured he didn't want to talk about what was going on. But you wanted to try your best to help him, so you decided to, albeit hesitantly, ask "Hey... Matsuda, are you feeling okay?".
"Of course I'm okay!" He replied almost too quickly, giving you a smile but still not looking directly at your eyes.
You leave it at that and let the silence take over, not wanting to push any further and make him uncomfortable. You also couldn't find it in yourself to continue normal conversations like you always did. Talking about how Kira might be a police officer or even a politician, or complaining yet again about how exhausting the security measures were for getting into the taskforce headquarters.
10 minutes passed by without another word exchanged and it only got increasingly unbearable for you. Lunches with Matsuda are never like this.
"I'm pretty useless aren't I?" he asked suddenly, though in a light-hearted way. The hurt in his voice was more than obvious. He leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling in an attempt to not cry again.
"What? Why would you even say that? Of course not." you say, putting your chopsticks down and looking at him. "I know how you must feel. I feel that way too a lot, but trust me, you're not useless."
"You don't need to lie to me, I'm not that stupid." He silently remarked, eyes finally meeting yours."
Your heart sank as you looked at his eyes, you finally realized just how much everyone's comments affected him.
"Matsuda... please don't say that. Just think about it. There were well over a hundred police officers in the Kira investigation before, and out of the seven who decided to continue, even when things seemed dangerous, you were one of them. You may not be L or Light, but you're you, and your contributions may be different from theirs, but that doesn't make them worthless."
"Y/n, I..."
"Also, I know that no one applauded or even recognized you for it, but you're the one who helped Light figure out the connection between Kira and the Yotsuba Group, right? That's such a huge lead! How could you ever think you're useless?"
"That was just one small thing. And like you said, only seven people continued. Only seven and yet, I'm still the most incapable and useless. It's not just me who thinks that, everyone does, and I can't even blame them. Everybody else is so serious and I feel like a stupid kid trying to fit in or be of help to someone. "
"No Matsuda." you interrupted while getting up from your seat. "You may think the way you act is "childish" or "stupid", but to me, your ability to stay positive even in such grim circumstances makes everything more... bearable, and I might not be able to speak for everybody else, but I know for a fact that you're the reason I keep on coming here every day, the reason I try my best to work towards finding Kira. I look forward to lunch together, not just because of our fun conversations, but because you give me so much energy and motivation to work harder. I just..."
Knowing the last thing you wanted to say to him, you embraced him in a hug, hoping he could feel all your thoughts and emotions through it. After a few seconds, he returned the hug, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
"Matsuda... I love you"
There was a long pause before his hug tightened.
He replied, "I love you too y/n."
#death note#matsuda touta#touta matsuda#death note x reader#matsuda x reader#matsuda death note#death note fanfiction#insert reader#matsuda x y/n#touta matsuda dn#touta matsuda x you#death note imagines#touta matsuda imagines#touta matsuda fluff#death note fluff#dn#dn x reader#death note x y/n#death note x you#touta matsuda hurt comfort#hurt comfort#hurt/comfort#death note hurt/comfort#touta matsuda hurt/comfort#insert reader fluff
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Falling for L before he started working on the Kira case. He slowly gets more scared of you getting hurt once he starts working on the case. You try to comfort him anytime you two are alone together, baking him deserts and getting him sweet coffee.
#death note#L x reader#l x y/n#death note headers#death note x reader#l lawliet#death note lawliet#lawliet x reader#lawliet headcanons#death note x you#death note x y/n#L Lawiet#L Lawiet x reader headcannons#L Lawliet fluff#death note fluff#anime headcanons#headcannons#anime#y/n#self insert#y/n headcannons#self insert headcannons#I Love deathnote too much omg it’s an addiction#deathnote is my favorite show#I Simp for anime men#i love fictional men
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Just figured out you are taking requests for my sweetie L lawliet, so could you do L lawliet with a little sister (reader) probably a 8-10 year age gap between them, she's shy, introverted, quiet, and is always avoiding anyone other than L. She's sneaky and noisy. Her and L has that same crouching position while sitting, you'll never catch her eating anything unless she's eating with L. She's always around L and is with him while sleeping or basically while L speaks on the computer about cases she'll be there sleeping quietly in his lap She's a mini version of him and if she speaks to someone she either responds very mean and blunt with a monotone voice like she doesn't care or will just respond with one word or just a nod. Just recently thought of this sooo yeah🤯!! Anyways have a good day💕
Hmmm! So we’re basically just L again! Well… I suppose I can try already but thank you anyway, I’ll do my best!
Lawliet L- Kindred Shackle
A second L you say? The Taskforce will blow up in flames when they meet you, stood alongside your biological older brother, L. Not in a bad way but in a; “God, there’s two of them” way. One L is bad enough, two Ls is almost like hell
You and L match so much, you might as well wear matching clothes or be the same age since you two mirror each other to a extreme. You’re just as introverted and quiet as L, you’re just as devoted and stubborn, and most importantly, you’re as attached to L as attached he is to you
No joke. You will not eat nor sleep without L present and he knows that as much. So he has you hooked to his hip 24/7 and he never lets you out of his sight. All to make sure you’re healthy and okay
L views you as a cute little lady and he does get a bit scolding when you speak all monotone and blunt to people. Cmon, be nicer! He always tries to encourage you to be a kind, sweet young lady since he wants you to have friends. You should have everything he can’t have
L doesn’t really mind having a littlest sister as clingy and puppy-like as you. You’re a very helpful source, both in work and in his person as he can rely on you in all fields, rather you be MUCH younger than him. He’s 24 and you’re 15!
L believes he works better with you around. Either sleeping on his back or baking with Watari only a couple feet by him, he is fully convinced you provide him with the energy and motivation to work harder on cases, especially the Kira case
L prefers you not adapt to his habits in the slightest. His insomniac sleep patterns, his sugary diet. He is a awful role model and he knows that so he openly tells you to never follow in his footsteps and be like him; it may be intriguing but to him, your health is so much more important than a title
L is a very loving older brother. He may not seem like it but he is, he’ll comb fingers through your hair to help you fall asleep faster, he’ll buy you all kinds of cute accessories and clothes, he is practically your caretaker as the only family you have left. It explains the equal attachment you both have for one another;
L carefully shuffled against the plush couch cushions in order to get more comfortable whilst you were cuddled up in his lap and arms, he had you caged to his scrawny chest with the way his arms stretch out to type on his laptop, the jingle of metallic chains echoing through the spacious room with each wrist movement. You had always been next to L, ever since he willingly took on this horribly deadly murder case and you were willingly to die for your older brother
He is the only thing you have. And you are the only thing he has, L remembers how he carried the only few months year old newborn you through the orphanage when Watari was introducing him to the establishment and the children inside. How he beat down every single one of the kids that dared to try touch you, no, L will never let anybody touch you. Especially when you’re asleep and vulnerable
Light merely approaching or leaning over to L at the very moment to discuss topics or hand over file documents had the pale insomniac man kicking at him in a protective panic. L almost lost you to a horrible rainstorm-induced cold, where he had to use everything his IQ could prosper at that young age to produce a effective medicine alternative to save your life. After that, L has always been overprotective and as your caretaker, he must do everything to raise you and still work as the World’s Greatest Detective
He was very against you joining the case but you went everywhere with him, to every case and to every country. He would never leave you alone, not even for a minute. The only person he truly trusted you with was Watari but since the beloved elderly man was nowhere to be seen, L has to protect you from basically nothing but his own anxiety. He knew his protectiveness was nonsense but he didn’t care, his brotherly love was stronger than his rationality
You’re the only blood he has left in this cruel harsh world and you’re now sitting in the building complex where the Police try track down the world’s most deadly killer. He can’t lose you. To nothing, no Kira, no Taskforce, no wannabe Detective Ls. He will die to the Death Note for you and only you, he won’t let Kira discover your name and drag you into heaven far too early. You must live your life first and if risking his means it will happen, it will happen at all causes
“Dokusha… sweetheart. Up you go, Watari has arrived to transport you to our room. Don’t fret, I’ll be joining you after I’m finished with my duties here, alright?”
#death note#death note l#death note lawliet l#l lawliet#lawliet l#l lawliet x reader#death note fluff#death note imagines#death note characters#death note x reader#death note cute stuff#anime and manga#big brother L makes my life#death note lawliet#lawliet x reader#dn lawliet#dn L#ryuzaki lawliet#we all love L#and now#he is even better#L is pure protective bean#i love him!!!
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hey there! always a pleasure to see more writers around. as for requests hmm... how about this : how would light yagami react if his s/o got badly injured? like on a "oh shit they could have died" level. please and thank you. 💕
a/n ; Hey there, anon! being a writer is honestly so fun and I’m just happy to do it! This one is a little short but I hope you enjoy! ❤️ (also, reqs are open so send some more in! writing this was super duper fun)
BYR (before you read,) ; Reader knows Light is Kira, mentioning of blood, bruises, nose bleeds, fluff, not a relationship like him and misa’s! you guys are healthy! GN ! reader (gender neutral), not proof read :p
“Cuts”
“Light..” You groaned out, holding onto your beat up shoulders as you felt a line of blood slide down from your nose, to your lip, to your chin, and then dropping in-front of Light’s front porch.
You weren’t too sure if he would answer the door, after all, it was about 2:04 in the morning, not only that but it was freezing.. and you didn’t have good clothes for weather like this. A tight tank top and shorts.
To your surprise, he opened up the door, rubbing his eye. It was obvious that he was just sleeping, but once he saw you, he was fully awake.
“Y/N— what the hell?!” He said in a raspy voice, He moved your hands off of your shoulders, tracing over all the cuts and bruises you had. Light wiped the blood off of your nose. His eyes were filled with worry, and he looked at you with an angry look.
“What happened..?! Who did this to you?..” He asked, and then noticed that your eyes looked extremely glossy, and soon enough, you were bawling your eyes out.
“They asked me — if I knew anything about.. Kira.. I..I wouldn’t say anything .. so .. they.. they..” You sobbed and covered your face, humiliated that you could let yourself get beat up this easily. You wiped the tears that kept flowing down your eyes, and just wiping your whole face entirely which caused blood to be smeared all over your face.
“Ryuzaki wouldn’t go this far..” Light said, trying to think of who could do this. “Come inside, please.. it’s freezing out here.” He said, holding your hand and quickly pulling you inside as he closed the door. If the two of you were caught talking outside, they would’ve known it was him, without a doubt.
He would guide you to the living room and sat you down on the couch, wrapping you up with a warm blanket that smelt just like him .. his scent comforted you more than anything, but in this situation, that wasn’t enough. It didn’t bring you half of the comfort it used to.
“Stay right here..” He said, planting a kiss on your lips that were covered in your blood.
Once he stepped back, you could see that some of your blood covered his mouth which made you laugh a bit.
“What?” He asked. “What is it?” You pointed at his lip and wiped the blood off of it, showing him. He laughed, but then remembered that he had to take care of you so quickly dashed off to his bathroom. He grabbed cotton swabs, alcohol and bandaids.
Your teeth were chattering, still freezing although you had a blanket over you. It felt like Light was gone forever, but it’s only been a few seconds.
Light quickly dashed back, spilling a few droplets of alcohol on his way to you. “Here — sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it isn’t.” He said.
He dropped down on his knees in-front of you and twisted the loose cap on-top of the leaking alcohol bottle off, and covered a cotton ball with the alcohol. “This is gonna burn a bit ..” He warned you, a shiver being sent down your spine as a stinging pain was sent to one of the numerous open cuts on your arm.
“This is all my fault.. I’m sorry. I put you in danger, I can’t be seen with you anymore..” He said, inhaling deeply, then exhaling.
You placed your hand on your chin and then made him look at you. “Light..” you said, smiling. “Don’t worry, thank you for caring.. but I want to be with you, forever. I don’t care if I get beat up millions of times, I just want to be with you.”
“..Y’sure..?” He asked. “I don’t want you getting hurt anymore.. especially not like this..” He said, his eyes lowering as he unpackaged a box of bandaids, struggling.
“Look at me.” You said.
“I promise.” You said, kissing him on his soft lips. “We can tell Ryuzaki tomorrow morning and I’m sure he’ll figure it out. I’m sure he’ll also agree that they got nothing out of beating me up.”
Light laughed as he placed a bandaid on your arm.
“Ugh.. these are gonna leave a bunch of scars..” you said, sighing and sniffling.
“Not if you take care of them, they won’t.” Light said. “Besides, I think even if they left scars, you’d look pretty badass.”
You snickered and gently punched his arm. “I love ya, Light..” You could only see the top of his head, but for the first time in a while, you noticed him smile, as well as him blushing a bit.
#undyneluvs#death note#fanfic#y/n#fanfiction#fluff#kira#light#light yagami#light x y/n#light x reader#light yagami x reader#death note fluff
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light yagami reaction - love languages
includes: reader is in college and drinks coffee, reader cries about being burnt out lol, maybe ooc l?? set during the few months when light gives up the death note NOT KIRA LIGHT
a/n: i'm in love with pre kira light
male reader (he/him pronouns)
⋆｡°✩ physical touch
(word count 183)
“hey,” you say, setting your backpack down on the ground as you pull out the chair beside light. “mind if i sit here?”
“of course not,” he smiles, subtly pushing his notes to the side to make room for your own. you ignore l’s glance as you pull out one of your textbooks and its corresponding notebook.
silence falls over the task force headquarters once again aside from the occasional noise of a mouse clicking or your pencil scraping against the page.
light occasionally glances down at your work, silently double checking your answers. he waits for you to finish answering the hardest questions before he shifts slightly closer to you. he moves now using his left hand to continue researching the yotsuba group. you smile softly when he reaches over, subtly resting his hand beside yours. you silently reach over to take his hand into yours, intertwining your fingers together before you turn your attention back to your notes.
you pretend not to hear matsuda’s cheering or light’s father scolding him in favour of absentmindedly rubbing small shapes against light’s skin.
⋆｡°✩ quality time
(word count 195)
light softly smiles to himself as he quietly enters your shared bedroom before closing the door behind himself. your body lays sprawled out on the bed - one of your arms haphazardly thrown across one of his pillows, keeping it closely pressed against your bare chest.
a small sliver of moonlight just barely illuminates the room as light tugs his own shirt off. he tosses his clothes into a laundry basket hidden away in your closet. he slips into an old pair of your sweatpants before carefully slipping underneath the covers to lay beside you.
you stir awake at the feeling, lifting your head up just enough to squint at him in the darkness. “light?” you whisper.
“go back to sleep, y/n,” he murmurs. you shuffle even closer to him, tangling your legs together underneath the blankets. your arm lays draped over his side as you lean in to nuzzle yourself against his body. he stifles a chuckle, pulling you even closer. goosebumps raise along your waist when his hand ghosts against your skin. he leans down to press a kiss against your forehead. “i love you,” you whisper.
“i love you too,” light murmurs.
⋆｡°✩ gift giving
(word count 184)
you stifle a small yawn as you tiredly walk back to the makeshift workstation you had set up at one of the free tables in the middle of the task force headquarters. the fluorescent lights beam down on you from above as you walk through the sea of empty desks until you find your computer.
set delicately in the corner away from your computer is a small bouquet of flowers and a fresh cup of coffee with a small note taped to the mug. you smile softly at the sight as you approach, setting your bag down on the ground before you sit down in the chair. you push your computer aside, reaching over to grab the still-warm cup and opening the note.
my y/n,
l asked me and the other task force members to assist him on a mission. we’ll be back soon.
i love you,
light
you smile as you pocket the note before you pull your phone out of your pocket to quickly send him a text before finally sitting down to start doing your work.
i love you too
⋆｡°✩ acts of service
(word count 188)
“i don’t understand why this is necessary,” l says, reaching out to eat another chocolate-covered strawberry. the chain of their handcuffs clink as light reaches over to grab a frying pan to continue making breakfast. “you’re not even going to eat the food.”
“it’s for y/n,” light says. his attention remains focused on the stove despite the complaints of the man chained to him. “he has a few classes this morning so i’m making his lunch.”
l remains silent, instead choosing to observe light. he occasionally tugs them around the grand kitchen as he expertly moves to cook your favourite meal. the chain drags against the marble countertops with each movement, though their complaints are left unsaid.
the handcuffs clink once again as light leans over the counter, quickly writing a love note on a piece of scrap paper. “i still don’t understand,” l comments.
light simply shrugs as he slips the note and container of food into your lunchbox before returning it to your backpack. l watches over his shoulder as he sets the bag down beside the couch. “i do it because i love him.”
⋆｡°✩ words of affirmation
(word count 197)
“y/n?” light calls as he enters your shared bedroom. you flinch slightly at the sudden noise, finally pulling your attention away from your unfinished notes to look back at him. he furrows his eyebrows slightly when he steps closer, noticing your puffy eyes as he walks over to sit beside you. “is everything okay?”
“i’m fine,” you mumble, turning to look back down at your notes. “just… a little stressed.”
“you know you can tell me anything,” light frowns slightly as he reaches over to carefully grab your hand. “what’s wrong?”
you let out a small sigh as he begins to rub miscellaneous shapes against your hand. “i’m exhausted.” your voice shakes as each word leaves your mouth. “i have so much work - it all feels neverending. i don’t know what to do.”
“y/n,” light whispers. he reaches over to cup your face in his hands. “you’re incredibly smart, and handsome, and kind,” he brushes away a stray tear as it rolls down your cheek. “you don’t have to go through this alone. i’m here for you. i love you. let me take care of you.”
you nod, leaning further into light’s touch. “thank you.”
#light x reader#light x male reader#death note x reader#death note x male reader#light yagami x reader#light yagami x male reader#light fluff#light x you#light x y/n#light imagine#light one shot#light drabble#light scenario#death note imagine#death note x you#death note x y/n#death note fluff#death note scenario#death note drabble#light yagami x you#light yagami x y/n#light yagami drabble#light yagami scenario#light yagami fluff#light yagami one shot#light yagami imagine#male reader
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