hiii, this might be weird, but who is Lazarus? I'm not religious, so I've tried searching for who he is, but I can't seem to get a clear answer and was wondering if you could explain him?
ah yes, lazarus of bethany. a man i consider to be equal parts friend and foe.
lazarus lived in bethany with his two sisters, mary and martha. and when we meet him, he’s sick. so much so that his sisters send for jesus of nazareth saying, “lord, your dear friend is very sick.”
jesus of nazareth was in jerusalem when he received the message. and despite being only a few miles from bethany, and despite jesus loving martha and mary and lazarus, he waited. he didn’t go to them straight away. he waited. he waited until lazarus died and then said, “lazarus’ sickness will not end in death. no, it happened for the glory of god so that the son of god will receive glory from this.”
and when jesus finally made it to bethany he was told lazarus had already died. that he has already been in the grave for four days. and when martha, sister of lazarus got word that jesus was coming, she went to meet him. and mary, sister of lazarus did not. and when martha saw jesus she said to him, “lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
and jesus said to her, “your brother will rise again.”
but then mary arrived and she saw jesus and she fell at his feet and she said, “lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.” and she wept over her brother. because she loved him and he was gone. and jesus should have been there. because if jesus had been there, her brother would not have died.
and jesus saw her weeping. and he saw the other people wailing with her. because lazarus was deeply loved. and now he was gone. and they had sent for jesus. they had prayed for a miracle. and that miracle didn’t come until it was four days too late. and they didn’t know that jesus was going to bring lazarus back. they didn’t know that jesus had waited that long to teach a lesson. to prove a point. they just knew jesus was too late. and now they were forced to grieve.
and then a deep anger welled up in jesus. and he was deeply troubled. and jesus asks, “where have you put him?” and the people say, “lord, come and see.” and he does. and when he sees, jesus weeps. when he sees, we get the shortest verse in the bible. a mere two words to sum up an entire town’s grief. two words to convey the loss of a sibling. two words are offered for the preventable death of a loved man.
jesus is four days too late. and jesus?
jesus wept.
and the people who loved lazarus turned to him and said to jesus, “see how much he loved him!”
jesus loved lazarus. and then he let him die.
and some of the people said about jesus “this man healed a blind man. couldn’t he have kept lazarus from dying?”
and then jesus, who knew all along that he would revive lazarus. jesus, who let all those people mourn. jesus, who let those sisters lose their brother. jesus, who let them weep. jesus, who wept with them. that very same jesus said to those who loved lazarus, who mourned him, jesus of nazareth said to them, “didn’t i tell you that you would see god’s glory if you believe?”
and then the stone of lazarus’ tomb was rolled aside. and then jesus looked up to heaven and said, “father, thank you for hearing me. you always hear me, but i said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.” and then jesus shouted, “lazarus, come out!” and he did.
lazarus the dead man came out, his hands and feet and face wrapped still in burial cloth. and then jesus of nazareth told them, “unwrap him and let him go!”
and then lazarus of bethany became lazarus of the grave. lazarus of the grave that will never be left behind even though he has risen and relinquished. lazarus of the grave who did not make good his escape unscathed. lazarus of the grave who will now check each darkened doorway as death and his sting is keenly felt.
lazarus was a man. a man whose family loved him. a man whose sisters sent for a miracle. a man whose sisters mourned him in the four days it took for that miracle to show up. a man who was made an example for no reason other than being loved by jesus. a thing that we are all told to be. loved by our savior.
lazarus is a man who makes me wonder three things. firstly, if jesus had been there that my brother may not have died. secondly, if jesus of nazareth too weeps for me. and thirdly, if jesus loves us and we in turn love him too like the scriptures command, why does he use us in the lessons he teaches.
why must we be the men he makes believers of?
so lazarus was just a man whose crime was loving jesus. and martha was just a girl whose crime was loving her brother. and they both suffered a miracle because of it.
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ok no i am gonna think abt it and i am gonna cry abt it. mary jokes, "could you eat that any faster" and dean jokes back "no. no, i could not" and mary has no idea that dean hoards food and dean eats fast bc he spent so much of his childhood food insecure and starving. dean loves fatty, carby food because it's filling. as an adult now dean indulges in food because he can. food is a comfort. but so many of his food habits are so deeply rooted in the food related trauma he suffered as a child. he still eats fast because he still has that muscle memory of starving and finally getting a meal and going "food in front of you now? eat it up!" he goes for seconds and thirds when food is available because you gotta eat up while you can. and whatever he doesn't end up eating? save it, hoard it, even if it goes bad. keep it for emergencies.
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"Dean didn't love Cas," "It was platonic," fuck off, when Cas died, he handled his loss the exact same way John did when he lost Mary. It's not even subtext, it's in the dialogue. Sam points it out, loud and clear. That's literally what the narrative was conveying.
"He's not just grieving about Cas, he lost Mary too." Yeah, but even when he's hellbent on blaming all of their loss on Jack, even he could see that Mary made her choice.
But to him, Cas didn't. To Dean, Cas was manipulated—deceived by some idea of "paradise," and it's easier to swallow that than to consider that Cas up and left them to protect Lucifer's child.
And you wanna know the cherry on top of all this??? Castiel's paradise consisted of them, together. Happy. Alive. Together. Castiel may have run away with Kelly to fulfill her wish for Jack, (to let him keep his powers where the Winchesters wanted to turn him human), but he only did so for that promise. In the end, he ran away so he could give them this.
(x)
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Dean’s trauma with the hellhounds is always overlooked, so this is just :(
Also, the difference between how calm he is in the face of demons just earlier in this scene is astounding. Fear was present then too, but it’s familiar fear - so he becomes overly calm and collected. but in the presence of hellhounds, he’s panicking and trembling, losing all control that he usually tries to keep
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