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perotovar · 2 months

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into the beat of the night (ch 7) "in my side"

moodboard by @hellishjoel (ty, honey ♥)

pairing: frankie morales/oc!river price (they/them) rating: E (18+) chapter warnings: deadnaming, misgendering, seriously there's a whole character that just dismisses river's entire being so if that triggers you or you don't want to read it i completely understand, one (1) panic attack, one (1) depressive episode, frankie being the best boyfriend in the world, possible food triggers (river doesn't want to eat while depressed), discussions of past abusive behavior (gaslighting, belittling, etc), if i missed anything lmk! word count: 3.5k dividers by @saradika-graphics beta: @scenaaario

main masterlist | series masterlist

They had been at the mall for a couple of hours now, but Frankie didn’t mind. He enjoyed helping River pick out clothes, but he preferred when they went to thrift stores. Less people, fewer crowds.

Plus, the thrift stores usually had something that he could fix up. He had been working with his hands a lot more lately in his free time.

Now, he leaned against the dressing room outer wall, waiting for River to come out and show him a shirt they wanted to try on. Frankie smiled to himself as he thought about his partner.

They’ve been official for six months now. It feels as fresh as when he first saw them at the Night Owl, and as comfortable as if they had been together for years. They spend an equal amount of time at their respective apartments, and visit each other on their lunch breaks frequently. Frankie isn’t sure he has ever been so happy in a relationship as with River. In previous relationships, there was always an expectation of him. A role he had to play. With River, he can just be. They don’t expect anything of him. Except maybe his attention and love.

And he had no problem giving them that.

“Frankie?” River laughed softly.

Frankie startled and turned his head toward his partner. “Sorry, Riv,” he smiled sheepishly. “Zoned out a little. Is that the shirt?”

River’s face softened at their boyfriend’s easy smile. The past six months had been some of the best in River’s life. They were so thankful for Frankie’s respect and patience.

“Yeah,” River nodded. “What d’you think?” They tugged on the long sleeves, pushing their thumb through the hole cut into the fabric. They twirled a little and did some silly, flirty poses for Frankie. He smirked, his eyes twinkling in interest as he shamelessly checked them out.

“You’re insatiable,” River giggled, pushing Frankie’s shoulder playfully.

“Rachael?”

River froze, their entire body going cold in an instant. Their smile dropped and they shut their eyes, face pinched. They’d recognize that voice anywhere.

“Riv? What’s going on?” Frankie stood, one large hand reaching out to cup their face. When River flinched slightly, his heart cracked, just a little. “Baby?”

“Rachael!” The voice chirped again, “It’s been so long! I didn’t think I’d see you here!”

Tears welled up in River’s eyes at the sound of the voice. Her voice. Why did she have to come back into River’s life now? Of all times?

Frankie felt unmoored, suddenly lost for a way to comfort River. He was interrupted by a short, very pretty woman appearing at River’s side and clutching their bicep. She was blonde, and had an almost ethereal beauty about her. Frankie’s brows furrowed and his chest puffed up a little, feeling possessive. Who was this touching his partner?

River opened their eyes slowly, and when they did, Frankie didn’t see his partner in them. His Río. They looked completely numb. “Hello, Evangeline,” River said in a flat tone Frankie didn’t recognize.

Evangeline? Frankie blinked, his left hand tightening around the handles of the bags he was carrying.

Who was Rachael?

“It’s been such a long time,” Evangeline sighed wistfully. “What have you been up to?”

River hadn’t turned to look at Evangeline yet, staring at Frankie’s chest and tracing the pattern of the t-shirt he was wearing today; Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. They swallowed around a lump in their throat and let out a shaky breath. “Working,” they answered simply.

Evangeline ignored them and turned towards Frankie, startling like she just realized he was standing there. “Oh, I’m so sorry! How rude of me, I’m Evangeline.” She said her own name like she was someone to know, and held out her hand for Frankie to take. He looked at her face, then her hand, then River, and decided against it. “I’m sure she’s told you about me?”

“Frankie,” he said simply, voice low and eyes never leaving River’s face. He had to get them out of here. “And no. They haven’t,” Frankie bristled, dark eyes finally landing on Evangeline’s face and finding her staring at him, accusation hardening her features. She was judging him.

Well, the feeling was mutual.

“Riv?” He said softly. River blinked away tears as they looked up at him, avoiding his gaze. This was the smallest he’d ever seen them and he hated it. He didn’t know where his confident, loving River went, and had no idea how to get them back.

“Oh, don’t tell me you actually go by that silly nickname still?” Evangeline giggled.

River winced and bit their lip. They turned and went back into the changing room without another word. When Frankie heard them sniffling, his entire body stiffened.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Frankie snapped, finally finding his voice, and crossed his arms. He stood a good foot taller than her, but that didn’t seem to bother the petite woman. It didn’t seem like much of anything did. “And why are you calling them Rachael?”

“That’s her name, obviously,” Evangeline rolled her eyes. “Her real one. We dated. For a long time.”

Frankie squinted his eyes. This must have been River’s last serious relationship. He had only heard of her in passing, and certainly never a name or how demeaning she was. Not that they ever needed to, now that they had him.

He ignored the name part on purpose.

“You must be her new plaything,” Evangeline sighed, like she felt sorry for him, as she pretended to check her manicure. “It won’t last long.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember asking for your opinion. You can leave now,” Frankie grumbled, taking a step closer to tower over her.

“I’m just trying to help,” she rolled her eyes again. “This is what she does. She’ll keep you around for a little while and when she gets bored, or finds someone new, she’ll leave.”

Frankie sighed angrily, the bile in his throat starting to sting. He set the bags of River’s purchases down on the floor next to the dressing room and quickly turned toward the checkout. Making a harassment complaint would probably get rid of her easily enough. He squeezed his fists tighter at his sides, heavy work boots thundering across the linoleum. Before he made it very far, he heard the sound of heels clacking and turned back toward the changing rooms.

Evangeline was gone.

Frankie sighed and made his way back to River. He stood in front of their changing room and knocked softly on the wall next to the curtain. “Río? Baby? Are you okay?”

River felt like they’d been kicked in the stomach. They could barely breathe or stand. They were hunched over on the bench in the changing room and hiding their face in their hands. They sniffled a few times before coughing, their hand pressed against their chest to try and breathe.

“I’m going to open the curtain, okay?” Frankie’s voice sounded like it was a hundred miles away. Light from the store poured into the small room, making them look up. Frankie was illuminated by the shitty fluorescent lighting, but it was one of the most beautiful things River had ever seen. “Mi amorcito,” he said softly, getting down on his knees in front of them. He cupped their face tenderly and rubbed their tears away with his thumbs.

“Frankie,” River sniffled, face pinched in pain.

“Shh, c’mere,” he soothed, pulling them down onto the floor with him so he could hold them close. He rocked them in his arms and pet their hair comfortingly. “Do you wanna go home?”

River nodded against his skin, their face buried in his neck. He felt the collar of his shirt getting wetter by the minute, but he didn’t care at all.

“C’mon, baby.” He patted their arm gently, encouraging them to stand with him. He laced their fingers together as he grabbed their bags, and led River out of the mall.

It took a few days for River to explain just what happened at the mall. They’d asked Frankie for some space and while he really didn’t want to give it to them, he also respected their wishes too much to argue.

When River texted a picture of Jonsey napping on their lap and their Baphomet slippered-feet in the background, he knew he had the greenlight to visit them. He was at work when he received the photo, and he knew River knew that, so he waited. He responded with his own picture of his greased up hand and forearm and the hangar he was currently working in. He spent the rest of his workday thinking up a plan for that evening.

River hadn’t seen nor heard from Evangeline in a long time. At least seven years. Hearing her voice again brought River back to a place they hoped they’d never return to.

River’s therapist told them that Evangeline was gaslighting them. They’d heard the term used before, but didn’t fully understand what it meant until Dr. Owens explained it to them. Evangeline had been emotionally manipulative and abusive, and even got physical once or twice.

She never accepted River for who they were and did everything in her power to downplay River’s feelings. River still didn’t understand why.

Evangeline would tell River that all of their dysphoria was something else. Everything River felt or even thought was strange or abnormal. Evangeline was the only one in the relationship that was of sound mind. River was already in a vulnerable place when they met, and Evangeline knew just how to exploit that.

There was a chance that Evangeline did actually love River. When they first met in their statistics class in college, their connection had been magnetic. They did a lot of the same sort of things that River and Frankie did now, but River could see now how different it was with Frankie. River was never scared that Frankie would judge or make fun of anything they said. With Evangeline it was like trying to cross a minefield. Whether it was a new band they found, or exploring feelings about their sexuality, River could never predict what would set Evangeline off.

The straw that broke the camel’s back for River came when they wanted to get top surgery. Evangeline blew up, throwing things around her apartment because she was “tired of the weird nonbinary bullshit”. She didn’t believe it existed, and was convinced River was just looking for attention.

River left, changed their number, and never looked back. The night Evangeline tried to get into their apartment in the wee hours, they had the locks changed, too.

A soft mrrp beckoned River’s attention from the floor. Jonsey tilted his head to the side as he looked at them before jumping up onto the couch. He walked his way over to them and got comfy on their lap, kneading the skin of River’s tummy like dough. River smiled sadly and scritched his face lovingly. When Jonsey started purring, they knew they would be stuck there for a while.

Looking through their phone at photos of Frankie, they felt awful. They hadn’t told Frankie any of this, hoping that they just didn’t ever have to think about her ever again. Frankie deserved to know, though, and they wanted to get it out in the open and out of the way.

When they received the photo from Frankie at work, their heart thundered in their chest. They really did love him. They just couldn’t voice it.

Yet.

The smell of River’s favorite takeout place filled the air in Frankie’s truck. His stomach roared to life at the smell of noodles and vegetables. Chicken for him, none for River. He looked in the backseat at the giant pillow/stuffed animal of a bat he found at the store. He hoped they’d like it.

He pulled into River’s apartment complex and parked outside their building. He took a deep breath in the silence of the cab, grabbing the food and the bat, and kicked the door shut with his boot. He held the pillow close as he knocked as softly as he could with his boot against the door.

All the tension in Frankie’s shoulders left as soon as he saw River’s tired face. It looked like they hadn’t slept in a while. Their hair was in a high messy bun, and they wore a pair of boxer briefs, an old faded t-shirt with the words Sisters of Mercy across the chest, and their Baphomet slippers.

“Hey, baby,” Frankie hummed softly, a hopeful smile gracing his features. “Got you something to eat in case you were hungry.”

River smiled sadly at the food. They hadn’t eaten in days, and they probably looked like it, too. The smell of the food hit their nose, making their stomach grumble in protest. Frankie chuckled softly at the sound.

“Figured.” He held out the bag toward them before doing the same with the stuffed animal.

“And who– who is this?” River had to clear their throat in the middle of speaking, realizing they hadn’t spoken in days either. They set the food down on the coffee table as Frankie shut the door behind him, looking over the large bat pillow with a raised eyebrow.

“Do you hate it?” Frankie asked, biting his lip. He usually got Marisol a stuffed animal whenever she was upset. He knew River wasn’t a toddler, but he also knew that they deserved something soft, too. “I saw it at the store, and…” He shrugged, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

River hummed and hugged the pillow close. “I love her,” they smiled up at him.

“Her?” Frankie grinned.

“Her name is Agnes.”

Frankie snorted. “Alright. Agnes it is.” He stepped closer to them as they hugged Agnes and tucked a few stray hairs from their bun behind their ear. “How are you doing, mi río?” He asked softly, cupping their face and rubbing his thumb across their cheekbone.

River’s eyes grew a touch sadder at the question, but they smiled anyway. “A little better,” they answered honestly. “Missed you,” they mumbled, setting Agnes down on the couch so they could wrap their arms around Frankie’s middle. They held on tight, squeezing the air out of his lungs but it felt like the first time Frankie properly breathed in days. He held them just as tightly, before kissing the top of their head.

“Missed you too, baby,” he hummed. “Was worried about you.”

River frowned and squeezed him a little more. “‘M sorry for making you worry,” they said into his shirt, the smell of oil and metal wafting off of him. The scent grounded them.

“Shh, no need to apologize, okay?” He pulled back a little, keeping his arms around them, but looking into their eyes seriously. “I’m always gonna worry about you. Even if I know you’re okay. You know I care about you,” he smiled, brushing the knuckle of his index finger against their nose softly.

River’s heart melted at the gesture, their cheeks growing warm. They smiled and looked at the bottom of his neck, a particular freckle catching their eye. They leaned forward to press a soft kiss to it before resting their head on his chest. Frankie held them close and rocked them gently.

River’s stomach roared, causing them to freeze for a second. Frankie chuckled and kissed the top of their head again. “C’mon. Lets get some food in you, yeah?”

They ate in silence. And when it wasn’t silent, Frankie was talking about Marisol or work. River listened intently, the sound of their boyfriend’s voice soothing them. Frankie put down his spoon after he finished off his fried rice, and grabbed some chopsticks. River’s eyes were glued to the thick fingers of his right hand, pupils dilating.

“Baby?” Frankie smiled softly, picking up a piece of chicken with his chopsticks and holding it above his plate. “Did I lose you?” He teased.

River jumped a little in their seat, their eyes snapping up to his face. “Hm? No,” they cleared their throat, picking up a piece of zucchini with their own chopsticks. They stared at the vegetable and bit their lip. They probably wouldn’t be able to finish the meal Frankie went through the trouble of getting for them. Their appetite seemed to have disappeared again.

Frankie raised a brow, face pinched in concern. “You don’t have to eat anymore right now. You ate most of your noodles, which I’m glad to see,” he said softly. “You can always finish it later.”

River nodded, feeling like they were on autopilot. “We were together for five years. I didn’t… I wasn’t… me, yet.”

Frankie froze, watching River’s face carefully. They were staring out into the middle distance, somewhere around Frankie’s shoulder. “Baby, we don’t have to–”

“Yes, we do,” River’s voice was scratchy, but firm. “I went to therapy after we– After I left her. She wouldn’t let me get top surgery.”

Frankie’s eyebrows furrowed and he set down his chopsticks, crossing his arms over his chest on the dining room table. The air in River’s apartment was still, the dim light from the kitchen making River’s dark features even darker. “‘Let’?” He asked quietly.

River nodded as they swallowed around a lump in their throat. “Yes. There were… rules. Well, unspoken ones. She never believed in, well… this,” they sighed, gesturing to their torso. “Still doesn’t, it seems.”

Frankie stayed quiet, letting them continue, despite wanting nothing more than to put his fist through the table in front of them.

“The… name she called me doesn’t apply to me anymore. My parents don’t even call me that anymore,” they whispered, a bitter laugh tacked on at the end.

“Deadnaming,” Frankie mumbled softly.

“Yeah–” River looked up at him, a confused expression on their face. “You know what that is?”

Frankie smiled shyly, but sadly. “Y-yeah, uh,” he chuckled. “I’ve been doing some research. Only fair,” he shrugged easily.

Tears welled up in River’s eyes as they smiled, picking at the nail polish on their fingers. “You’re amazing,” they whispered.

Frankie blushed, but didn’t argue. This wasn’t about him right now. He rested an open hand on the table, inviting them to give him one of their own. When River gave him one of their hands, he held it firmly in his own, thumb rubbing against their knuckles protectively. “Go on,” he encouraged gently.

River sighed heavily and nodded. They talked for a long time. Explaining anything and everything about their relationship with Evangeline, who they were before, and what brought them to him now. Not much was different, just the fact that they were more secure in who they are now.

“Gotta be honest,” River said softly, voice a little hoarse from talking so much. “Was scared how you’d react to a lot of this. I’m not sure why,” they shrugged. They knew deep down that Frankie would never judge them, nor would he be scared. They’d been through too much together.

Frankie lifted their hand and kissed River’s knuckles tenderly. “I get it,” he nodded. “I felt the same way when I told you about the military. About Colombia. I wasn’t sure if you’d see me differently or not.”

River shook their head. “No. Love you too much for that,” they mumbled quietly.

A wide grin broke out onto Frankie’s face slowly, cheeks burning red. “Love you, too, Riv.”

River hummed happily, then froze. With wide eyes, they stared at Frankie for a minute. They pointed at themself, a silent question written all over their face.

Frankie laughed softly. “You did,” he grinned, standing slowly so he could be closer to them. He cupped their face in his big hands as he looked down at them in their seat. “Love you so much,” he whispered, kissing them properly, lips melding easily against theirs.

River was completely lost in it, fingers tangled into the fabric of Frankie’s t-shirt tightly, like if they let go he’d disappear. They moaned softly into his mouth, a tear falling down their cheek. Frankie hummed in response, catching the tear on his thumb. He pulled away slightly to catch his breath and pressed his lips to their forehead. He kept them close like that for a little while, smelling the old dry shampoo stuck to River’s scalp.

“You should take a bath, baby,” Frankie said softly. River snorted into his shirt, face buried in his tummy.

“You saying I smell?”

When Frankie didn’t answer right away, River laughed, really laughed, for the first time since they were at the mall together.

“I–I’m not!”

River rolled their eyes and smiled up at him, chin resting on his torso. “Wanna join me?”

Frankie raised a brow and smirked, but his face grew serious quickly. “Río, we don’t have to do anything like that–”

“I know,” River muttered. “I didn’t want to. Just wanted,” they bit their lip. “Just wanted to be with you.”

Frankie’s heart melted and he nodded, kissing the hook of River’s nose. “I think I can do that,” he winked.

River didn’t doubt that for a second.

a/n: if you're curious, this is agnes and river's slippers ♥

#frankie morales #frankie morales fanfiction #frankie morales fic #frankie morales angst #frankie morales au #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier fic #triple frontier au #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal cinematic universe #oaksfics

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our-transmasculine-experience · 4 months

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I have a ... Complicated relationship with they/them.

On one hand, I really appreciate that these pronouns are becoming more accepted in common usage, and I'm glad more people are learning to use they/them as the default when they don't know someone - it's a good reminder that appearance =/= gender.

The issue is that I get dysphoric when people use they/them for me.

I acknowledge that many trans people don't feel this way, and are comfortable with they/them in addition to binary pronouns. I think that's great, and they're totally valid for that. However, personally, using he/they feels like a concession because I'm not masculine enough - and I'm worried others would view it that way too.

I'm in the early stages of transition, so I don't pass particularly well, and I feel like many people would exclusively use they/them for me because I don't appear masculine enough to use he/him. I really hate that, but at the same time I feel guilty about it, because I don't want to correct people if they're at least trying to not misgender me - I still prefer they over she.

It hurts especially when my other trans friends use they/them as well as, or sometimes instead of, he/him for me. I think they do it because most of my trans friends use she/they or he/they, and the aforementioned habit of using they for anyone. It just makes me really dysphoric though.

Most of the dysphoria comes from the feeling that being referred to with they makes me not truly masculine, but part of it is also caused by my coming out experience - when I told my parents I was a trans guy, they told me I was probably just a "confused nonbinary" and that they'd use they/them for me. (They called me they twice - both times on that day I came out - and proceeded to misgender me and deadname me for the six months since then.)

It makes me conflicted -- I feel wrong for not liking they/them, especially since I feel like if I try to correct people that I only go by he/him, I'm worried I'll be feeding into the stereotype of "trans people are pushy snowflakes, they get mad at you if you call them the wrong thing," etc.

i’m gonna tell you something now and it might be a hard pill to really swallow. it is a complete waste of time trying to appeal to cis people, especially conservatives, and trying to be “one of the good ones”. believe me, i have spent so much time doing this same thing but all it left me was drained and unhappy.

do not use pronouns you don’t feel comfortable with. correct people if you’re comfortable. you do not exist to be put into a box.

and about the they/them pronouns thing: yeah, i also feel like that. it makes me feel like i’m less of a man, personally.

you’re not alone anon, ever. you are completely valid, my brother.

#transmasc #trans #ftm #trans guy #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #trans man #trans boy #transgender

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sp1drrthwips · 5 months

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✷ COMING OUT TO THEM AS TRANS .

꩜ platonic! peter parker(s), miles morales, gwen stacy, hobie brown & pavitr prabhakar x trans! gn reader

𖦹 cw : one mention of accidental outing !!

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

ꨄ︎ marvel studios! peter parker ;

⋆ supports you from the moment the words leave your lips. definitely hugs you and tells you he loves you either way <3

⋆ will definitely ask about how you want to be referred to as now, like completely, not just name or pronouns, he checks for other gendered words / phrases too !

⋆ lets you explain more on the topic yourself, but also does additional research himself to understand more !

⋆ is totally ready to support you through any transition stage you're in,,, change in style, puberty blockers, hrt, etc,, he's right there supporting you <33

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

ꨄ︎ tasm! peter parker ;

⋆ doesn't really know what to say at first,, will probably stay silent with a slight smile on his face while trying to think of what to say and end up on “i don't mind, that's- that's cool.”

⋆ exactly like marvel studios peter he'll ask about all the ways you would like to be referred to as now !

⋆ doesn't change the way he is around you at all, aside from being a little tense from not wanting to slip-up and possibly hurt your feelings, he stays the same !

⋆ he doesn't know much other than the basics, so he'll start to dedicate parts of his free time to researching more on trans topics to try and support you better <33

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

ꨄ︎ miles morales ;

⋆ very chill about it, and makes sure you know that it doesn't change his view on you whatsoever

⋆ probably asks who else knows, and depending on what your answer is will ask how you'd like him to refer to you as when around people you aren't out to !

⋆ he shows his support through not really acknowledging it, just making sure you still feel normal and not making you feel uncomfortable is the way he knows to support you best <3

⋆ for sure the fastest to come up with shortened versions of your new name ( if possible ) / new nicknames to match the new you !

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ꨄ︎ gwen stacy ;

⋆ absolutely supports you 100% immediately <3 ( and definitely goes for the same approach as miles' second hc !! )

⋆ the most educated out of everyone here for sure,, and she's very very mindful of her words, so slip-ups are extremely rare !

⋆ she is so so excited to help you explore whatever new style you want, and will tag along with you to go shopping nine times out of ten !

⋆ always encourages you to talk to her whenever you're having dysphoric days,, she may not understand, but she still wants to be there to listen and try her best to cheer you up and affirm you <3

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ꨄ︎ hobie brown ;

⋆ will most likely answer with “cool.” afterwards, and continue whatever he was doing,, but he if realizes you need extra reassurance, he'll tell you doesn't care ( in a –– he ‘still thinks you're awesome’ way ) and asks about your new name and pronouns !

⋆ he's pretty familiar with breaking gender norms, so, just like gwen, he'll be extremely helpful while you figure out your new style !

⋆ also like gwen, he's pretty mindful of what he says, so slip-ups are rare with him as well !

⋆ the most likely on this list to knock someone out for purposely deadnaming / misgendering you ....

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ꨄ︎ pavitr prabhakar ;

⋆ like miles, he doesn't really acknowledge it because he doesn't understand why he should, you're still his friend and he loves you either way <3

⋆ like tasm peter, he doesn't know much more than basics, so there is a chance he'll tell people you aren't out to yet that you're trans to correct them ( good intentions, wrong execution ),, but will apologize and stop if you tell him you don't like it and want to tell people yourself !!

⋆ will mostly likely stop at libraries throughout the multiverse to try and find out more about the topic, and if that fails, he'll finally turn to the internet !

⋆ i feel like once he starts to learn more about you being trans he'd want to have a celebration of some kind,, like a small hang out with you, him, miles, gwen and hobie to make sure you feel appreciated and know they all still love you <3

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

. . . hugs for all the trans readers here <3 🫂🫂🫂 happy trans awareness week !!! hopefully everyone had the sweetest and happiest week ever !! 🫂🫂 make sure to take care of yourself, you're all so so important !!! 💌💌

p.s. sorry to any trans tobey spidey fans reading ,, since his movies were so long ago i didn't really know how to write for him and just left him out :(

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fakeboy008 · 18 hours

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honestly , i have less of a forced detransition kink as i do dysphoria. i dont want someone to make me wear a skirt an crop-top with my tits out while trying to "make me a girl", i want them to see me as a girl despite how i "identify". i want them to just misgender me and make me as dysphoric as possible. dont throw out my t, make me feel so gross and worthless and ugly that ill voluntarily stop. figure out my deadname and tell all my friends who i'm stealth around what it is. call me she to everyone just for me to meet them and them to be confused. make everyone hyperaware that im a transgender. does this make sense .

throw out my boy clothes, try to halt my transition etc, but utilise the fact i am trans. use it to make me feel like shit

#ftm girl #detrans kink #detrans ftm #ftm detrans kink #ftmtf #fakeboy #ftm misgendering #ftm misgendering kink #ftm correctional therapy #misgenkink #cuntboy #ftm cnc #ftm breeding #ftm free use

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our-nonbinary-experience · 3 months

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I'm so sick of being unable to socially transition...

My parents are extremely transphobic, which makes it very unsafe to come out to them (last time i tried they threatened to disown me). Thing is, I'm a transmasc enby who has known that I am trans for around 2 years now and still looks like a girl. I am only out to some of the kids around my age and most of them still misgender and deadname me. My mother controls everything about how I look: she barely ever buys me enough clothes and when she does they are super feminine, she hasn't let me get any other haircut than my current one since I was born, etc. I have never had any money or the ability to get a binder and maybe some clothes and a haircut that make me feel comfortable.

I live in a country where the schools will call my parents and out me if they think that I am trans, and trans kids are being attacked when they just want to be themselves. I just want to be myself and it sucks. Sorry for the vent, I am so close to cutting my hair off, but I'm too scared to do it ngl. Some advice would be greatly appreciated.

That's horrible, and I'm sorry your parents aren't accepting:( Since I don't know much about your specific situation, I don't have muvh advice, but anyone with advice please share!!

#our nonbinary experience #nb asks #nonbinary #enby

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rainyenbie · 8 days

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Okay- so I just need a little rant because while I left school for ONE day, my freinds got deadnamed and misgendered by some bigoted asshole in our class and I can't yell at him because I have social anxiety.

First of all, calling someone by their name isn't even the lowest level of respect- it's basic human decency. It really shouldn't matter whether you or your parents chose the name. And I'm a thousand percent sure that this guy wouldn't have cared if they changed their names and they were cis.

Second, this idiot had the audacity to say "i Don'T bELeIvE iN pROnOuNs!" Okay? So you don't believe in basic grammar? "You" "we" and "I" are all pronouns too. "He" "she" "they" "xe" etc. are usually just singular. And you wouldn't like it if you used he/him and I called you "she" right? You would feel like it's weird. And wrong. And it doesn't belong to you.

It's the same with my trans guy friends. There's no difference, and it's really not that difficult to understand.

#trans #Trans rage #nonbinaryproblems #Lgbtq #Trans #transgender #Nonbinary #Trans problems #Transmasc

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shaunashipmansgf · 3 months

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— jackie x non binary partner coming out to her

this is just very self indulgent fluff tbh! had this in the drafts for a while (wc: 350)

you’re super nervous to come out to her, but once you finally do she showers you in kisses, reassuring you that you’re valid and she loves you so so much.

she’d get so excited and ask you about pronouns, identity, names, etc. and listen so intently <333

if someone ever misgendered or deadnamed you, jackie would verbally assault them until they cried. she’d make sure that no one ever harasses you again, and if they were stupid enough to still do it, she would not hesitate to go off on them. it’s landed her in the principal’s office a few times. like she can get SCARY.

if you cut your hair, she’s eager to help, and she actually does an amazing job. you were a bit nervous she’d fuck it up.

she always loves playing with your hair no matter the length, but if it is short, she’s running her fingers through it all day, and massaging it.

when you’re on your period and have cramps, and might be feeling dysphoric, jackie will set up a little nest of blankets and pillows in front of the tv, and hold you in her arms while you both watch whatever you want. she’ll give you so many kisses and rub your stomach, aswell as making sure you had a heating pad.

she buys so much non binary flag merch for you oh my god. like she’ll go all out and she’ll surprise you with it <3

if you get top surgery, she’ll be there for you through it all, holding your hand. she helps with the drains and bandages in post op, and makes sure that you get the proper rest and relaxation you need, which of course includes all of the cuddles.

the day you get your bandages off, jackie comes with you, and once your new chest is revealed she looks at you so incredibly lovingly, wrapping you up in a hug. she runs her hands up and down it, which makes you blush. but she just pulls you closer, kissing you and telling you how much she loves you.

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets x you #jackie taylor #jackie taylor x reader #jackie taylor x you #filter credit: shitfilters on ig

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gnc-culture-is · 23 days

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(warning, this is a vent, but i am also asking for advice genuinely, if you dont have the energy to read that sort of thing now then that's okay, take care of yourself 💙)

How do I get over my fear of correcting people?

I have my pronouns (it/they) on a pin on my bag (it's actually just it/its, but that was the only pin available with 'it' - but I don't mind they/them), I've said that those are my pronouns, and yet when I get misgendered, even by well-meaning people who say "Please correct me if I mess up!", I just don't do it. It makes me extremely uncomfortable to be seen as my agab, even though I present in a way that would conform to it. I'm also scared of changing my name and the things that come with that (telling people I go by a different name, etc). I was selling pins for a fundraiser my school was doing, during a basketball game which I wasn't interested in. I was wearing my aforementioned pin on my sweater, which under it I had on my one item of trans gear that would make me appear less like my agab. Multiple people asked for my name. I had to give them my deadname, because nobody knows me by my real name. I don't want to do that anymore I want to be known by my chosen name I want people to see me as my real self.

you just do it often, i think. you deserve to be addressed with respect. i've found some success in going, "ah, i'm actually 'x', 'y' is just my legal name. long story." if I have to give out my deadname.

would love to hear from others about this though

#gnc advice

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moongothic · 5 months

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I know people often speculate about Crocodile and if that is his "real name", either implying he has a deadname or his name is another one of those Hidden Ds (much like Roger and Law)

And like. This is just me but personally I would prefer it if he didn't have a deadname at all. It already grinds my gears when people use Sanji's "real name" when he himself hates it and doesn't want to be called by it, and so god knows if Crocodile is trans then the fandom misgendering is going to be obnoxious enough, you don't need to add a """real name""" into that mix

So. Personally, I would prefer it if Crocodile really was his birthname. It would just help us avoid some toxicity, ya feel me? Like people can't deadname him if he has no deadname to begin with?

That said.

I do find it interesting how Crocodile never actually introduces himself during the story to like. Anyone. Like we never see him go "yes hello you may call me Sir Crocodile" or anything

In fact, like, very specifically, when we finally get Crocodile's face reveal in Chapter 155, he explicitly says

"Call me what you will"

Of course, the citizens of Nanohana had just been calling him a 'hero', 'desert king' and 'the Guardian Deity of Alabasta' in the previous page, so his comment is mostly just in reference to the various titles people were shouting out rather than his actual name

And to be fair, the dude is Extremely Famous, he doesn't have to introduce himself because everybody already knows who he is

But it's still an interesting detail, isn't it?

(Also tangentially related, but Crocodile never seems to object to people calling him by cutesy nicknames either? Like to be fair, he probably couldn't object to Ivankov calling him "Crocoboy" to begin with, but he never seemed to mind Bon-chan calling him "Zero-chan" repeatedly either, nor did he object to Buggy's "Cro-chan" 🤔)

If nothing else though, considdering even his former bounty was associated with the name we know him by, it's possible that even if he had a deadname, "Crocodile" could be his "pirate nickname" that he chose to roll with. Kind of like "Strawhat" or "Blackbeard" or "Hawkeyes" etc, a title people use so often you kind of forget the person's actual name

Or he might have that Hidden D. Which, if he did, I'd be more inclined to believe would be more like with Law (where he might've been told as a child to keep it a secret). Instead of the whole "names being merged into one to hide the D" like with Roger, since that one was a specific, intentional move from the World Government

The only thing about the Hidden D is that. I just. I think it'd be a little silly. Like. Crocodile doesn't have to be a part of the D clan in my mind. Like I don't need that twist. But to be fair, there is an argument to be made for Crocodile being a D. Like if his goal is to destroy the WG and the World Nobles (that being the reason he wanted military force and Pluton to begin with) then ARGUABLY it would be fitting for him to be a D, since the D clan are the "Natural Enemies of the Gods". Also, there's the whole trend of D clan members always dying with a smile on their face. Like sure Crocodile hasn't died (yet) but he definitely went to Impel Down (hell) with a big ol' smirk on his mugshot (chapter 413 cover), which is close enough. So there is an argument to be made for Crocodile having a fullname with a D that's been kept a secret

I dunno, these details are interesting to me

#Moon posting #OP Meta #Sir Crocodile #This is not an invitation to start speculating about what Crocodile's deadname might be *with me*#You are welcome to speculate about it!! I just personally don't care and don't want participate in the discussion #Like if he has a Hidden D that's one thing but like. Someone's deadname is none of my business #(I know he's not real I just don't want to speculate about it out of principle. It's uncomfortable)#(And I feel like if I don't give out a disclaimer now I'm going to end up with a bajillion asks and comments about it) (I'M SORRY)#I just wanted to comment on this tiny observation about the character because it is facinating #If I had to pick my poison I'd rather go with a Hidden D over a deadname because. I can deal with some misgendering.#It's the deadname on top of it that would be too much for my very personal Bullshit Tolerance to handle #I think the most poetic and kind of precious option would be Crocodile not being a D by birth #But becoming an inheritor of the Will of the D after marrying Dragon. Like. That would be precious. To me specifically.

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