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raininyourblackeyes · 1 year

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BSD Formula 1 AU

I know it sounds ridiculous but hear me out. THE POTENTIAL IS HUGE.

The characters are just the right amount of silly to be put in those funny cars, and the exact amount of dramatic to reflect whatever the fuck is going on in the circus (F1) in general.

First of all, this was brought to you by me watching one of the most chaotic races ever last weekend and I couldn't sleep last night which meant my brain had free time and BSD brainrot is 24/7.

Basic idea is that various organisations are different teams and all characters have different positions in the team obviously, not everyone is a driver. This will be long so the details about each team and headcanons about each driver and team member are under the cut.

ADA

ADA is a long standing team that has produced several successfull drivers. It is well known and beloved by the fans. “Everyone is a Ferrari fan!” in Seb Vettel’s words except it’s “Evereyone is an ADA fan!” in our case.

Last season was a wild ride for them, with their no.1 driver and another driver basically fighting to win the Driver’s Championship in the final race of the season and they were leading, they were winning, ready to celebrate but then an incident happened and the stewards made a completely illegal decision based on their own rules which resulted in their driver losing his title. What followed was a lot of controversy, possible lawsuit etc. Ultimately the team decided to just decimate them in the new season.

Team Principal Fukuzawa was a famous driver for the ADA team himself and is now doing his best to lead the team filled with absolute chaos to the victories through fair play and respect to integrity of the sport.

Ranpo is the team’s chief strategist whose biggest secret weapon are his deduction skills that help him figure out other teams’ strategies. Every time he’s shown on TV he’s snacking obviously. He is also lowkey Fukuzawa’s adopted son from all the way back since Fukuzawa was still racing and he met this amazing kid that started ranting why exactly was his strategy shit at first glance.

That one rich kid that was supposed to become university professor or something but at 16-17 fell in love with f1, too late to become the driver but just in time to go into mechanical engineering and become team’s first engineer - Kunikida. His goal for this season is to build a fucking rocket for the team’s first driver which, rip his nerves, requires him to spend a lot of time with the menace. Watching Dazai go another lap on dying tyres when he told him to box already: “I don’t know how long can I live like this.”

Team’s second engineer was the chief mechanic until last season - Tanizaki. This season he is going to be working mostly with the team’s new driver to develop their car. He once hacked into PM’s database to get all info on their cars. His “sister”, one of the biggest mysteries of f1 really, Naomi is the intern in charge of team’s social media and public relations.

Yosano is the team doctor, fresh out of university but wanted something other than the hospital. She may or may not be having a thing going on with PM’s chief strategist...

I really have no idea what to do with Kyouka and Kenji since they are just 14... unless we age them up and say Kenji chief mechanic and Kyouka one of the analysts.

Now onto the hot topics. The drivers: ADA’s 2nd driver is a rookie in f1 getting ready to start his first season. Atsushi doesn’t have a wealthy background like most drivers, and nearly gave up on it several times but in the end was scouted by ADA and admitted as their reserve driver. He comes into the team hopeful to have a good first season, and during the development everything is smooth sailing. The mechanics and engineers are very wellcoming, the first driver becomes somewhat of a mentor to him. And then the first race comes up and he and PM’s new driver fucking crash into each other on the first corner (you know who PM’s driver is lmao). Fans are having flashbacks from seven seasons ago when a driver parked his car on top of another driver’s car in the first lap on his first race (guess fucking who!!??), and are like damn not again we can’t do this drama again. Went through the most traumatic crash where everyone thought he was dead for a terrible second; “it is what it is.” Tanizaki on the radio: Don’t slow down Atshushi-kun, keep pushing, keep pushing. Atsushi: I AM!!!!

ADA’s 1st driver, the GOAT basically, the walking red flag in the paddock, the most controversial motherfucker on the grid, brilliant driver who won not only his first ever race but also won the entire championship in his first season, but above all a suicide maniac - Dazai. He got screwed over by the race control last season and is now walking around the paddock like a Bond villain. He started out as a rich kid driver whose family invested in this back-of-the-grid-team and he became a superstar overnight. Four years ago after a fiasco that resulted in PM’s reserve driver dying in a car crash because of team orders he disappeared from the sport. Two years later he showed up as ADA’s driver and has been serving cunt ever since. Despite the sudden team switch, he is usually paired with his ex-teammate during pre-race press conferences because the tension is through the rooftop and that’s what the fans want. Like are they going to fuck? Are they going to strange each other in front of the journalists? Both? Who knows. He’s mostly a clean driver but when he does cause an incident, the red flag lasts at least half an hour. Annoying af on the team radio.

PM is a relatively new team when it comes to being in the top positions on the grid. They used to be stuck at the back of the grid until the old team principal’s doctor didn’t take over all of a sudden, bringing with himself a driving prodigy. Nowadays they are one of the top 3 teams always fighting for the Constructor’s and Driver’s Titles. Last season they finished 2nd in the Constructor’s and their driver was 3rd in the Driver’s championship.

Mori is the team principal. He wanted to race when he was younger but just wasn’t really good enough to make it, but he found a way to remain in the sport. He was quite envious of Fukuzawa’s fame when he was younger. As a team principal, he brought fresh ideas to the team even if they sometimes seemed crazy - in the end they worked. Not well liked among the fans but brutally effective in giving team orders. Calls the race director over radio at any minor inconvenience. Sighs “If only Dazai-kun was still here” at least once during every team briefing.

Kouyou is the first strategist. Takes no one’s shit. Also brutal in the team orders (something PM team is famous for, and not in a really good light (beloved driver Oda kind of died because of them after all...)). Ambigous relationship with ADA’S team doctor hmm. Will do anything to have her drivers on top of the podium.

Hirotsu is the chief mechanic. He is getting old but he loves his job so he’ll be damned before he goes to retirement. Is probably secretly no.1 Dazai fan even if he switched teams.

His assistant and brilliant young mind, Gin. Apart from being a sister to the team’s 2nd driver, she is also dating Hunting Dogs’ 2nd driver, Tachihara who just this season made a transfer from being PM’s reserve driver to Teruko’s team. They are the sport’s sweethearts.

Another strategist, kinda terrified to work under Kouyou, especially as she seems to be making all the wrong decisions regarding 2nd driver’s strategy, but hey it’s her first year too! Higuchi! Poor girl kinda thinks she’s living in a kdrama. She is doing her best!

Kajii is one of the engineers obviously. He is driving the other engineer through the roof because he is mostly focused on the next season developments as soon as a season starts, and has these crazy science ideas. Also who the fuck eats raw lemons to help them think? I’m rlly nerfing Akutagawa by putting this dude in charge of his car.

First driver’s engineer and absolute fucking legend - Albatross (I’d rather die than kill off the Flags thank you very much). Maybe once punched Dazai in the face for damaging his baby (Chuuya’s car) when they crashed (again.). Became the most popular PM team member when he once stole the mic from Mori to yell “FUCK ‘EM UP CHUUYA” at the top of his lungs when his boy was making his way to the front all the way from the back of the grid.

Apart from him, Doc is the team physician. Other Flags are leaders of Chuuya fanclub the official race commentators. Piano Man just retired from the position of the 2nd driver (he replaced Dazai when he vanished) because of an injury or something and decided to just waltz into commentating together with Iceman and Lippmann. More about the media team later on.

Akutagwa was scouted to the PM academy by Dazai and his goal for his first season in f1 is to beat him obviously. It goes as amazing as you can imagine. He and Atsushi crash into each other on the first corner of the first season. Stellar start. He is extremely stubborn and rarely listens to team orders which drives Higuchi insane as that gives her trouble with Kouyou and Mori. His first season is set to be one hell of a ride. “Grill the Grid” oh he’s going to grill them.

Now onto the hottest driver on the grid. Much like Dazai, he has hordes of fans following him round the world. He is always so chill and appreciative of them, very laid back person. You are as likely to meet him in an art gallery as in a night-club and fans love that about him. On the track though, he is a storm. You just know the dick is big based on his overtakes. Sometimes it feels he’s bending the laws of physics to his whims when he’s racing. Chuuya is PM’s first driver. His first race in f1 ended with his car parked on top of Dazai’s almost killing him, and this weird image of Chuuya dragging the other out of the car, checking if he was fine (he was), and then starting to yell at him at the top of his lungs. Born in Japan, he was adopted by this fancy French family whose biological son was dead set on becoming an f1 driver and Chuuya followed in his footsteps. Has three Drivers Championship titles, but finished 3rd last year.

DoA

RB Racing of this AU lmao. fia is dancing to their every whim, inventing and reinventing and bending their own rules every race because they are choking on DoA’s dick beeing paid insane amounts of money. The most controversial team on the grid, espeically after a stunt that was pulled to secure their driver’s victory last season. Fans are basically manifesting their engines dying every race. Remember the whole “Red Bull went over the cost cap because of catering” bullshit, yeah that’s this team right here. Their cars are fucking illegal and it drives Dazai so pissed because HIS car is a rocketship but this shit straight up goes at the speed of light

Team principal is Fukuchi duh. Has been fighting with Fukuzawa over the radio the entire last season. This season he banned the media team from coming any close to his team after the Flags kept spilling the tea and asking the right questions without stuttering. Accidentally claimed Dazai won last season; somewhere deep in his sub-conciousness he’s aware of the bullshit he pulled off.

Because I’m not insane enough to put him in a car, Nikolai is team’s cheerleader and one of the engineers. Once their crew messed up Fyodor’s pit stop so bad he had to retire early and he made them all wear clown wigs until the end of the race. You have to give it to them tho, you cannot fuck up the strategy if you forget to put wheels on a car. Unlike Bram, he plays Fyodor very specific music to piss him off during the race (Rasputin or Party Like A Russian).

Bram is also an engineer. The most delighful part of every race weekend is his little daughter, Aya, in the DoA garage. She does sometimes escapte to bother Kunikida - the only DoA team member that ADA will tolerate. Plays absolute bangers for his drivers over the radio. The only normal person on the team. “Box Box Box Box” gets ignored. Nteflix Drive to Survive team entering the DoA garage hoping for tea; Bram: coffee is disgusting! rant

Sigma is the team’s 2nd driver (rip). He gets thrown under the buss every race and everyone is waiting, praying for him to just one day cut his mic and do his thing, not letting Fyodor through. He is an amazing driver if not a bit inexperienced, and easy to stan despite his team. Has anxiety induced by whatever the fuck is DoA doing to his strategy. There are talks he might join ADA as the reserve driver next year, let’s have our fingers crossed for him. Nikolai once taped his rear wing in the middle of a race so it wouldn’t fall off. Yeah the car is several million dollars worthy. Yeah Nikolai used actual tape so it doesn’t fall apart on track.

Fyodor is the current champion although it is obvious he shouldn’t be. Won championship once, changed his car number to 1 immediately. Nature heals a bit more every time he flops in a race. Is he actually homophobic or is he just live slug reacting to whatever the fuck Dazai and Chuuya have going on during press (he is sitting between them). “F1 is about driving, not penalties” my brother in christ you’ve been trying to kill a man in every single race last season. Kisses an icon of a saint or something before every race. Throws other drivers under the buss every drivers’ briefing with a smile on his face. Plays cello during red flags. New season objective: win no matter the cost.

HUNTING DOGS

Fukuchi’s old team. They are usually a mid-field team but with talented drivers that are able to bring out the most out of their engines, they do podium!

Their team principal is Teruko, the only woman to be a team boss. She used to be a strategist and got promoted when Fukuchi moved to DoA. “IF YOU IMBECILES AREN’T ABLE TO GET PAST THAT OLD MAN I’LL GET IN THE CAR NEXT TIME” a bit childish at times, sweet little Teruko until it’s the time to race. Secretly loves her team.

Jouno is maybe blind but he can still see through everyone’s bullshit. Chief strategist of the team and is considering running Tecchou over with his own car every time he has to talk to him over the radio. “STOP SINGING BABY SHARK WHILE I’M GIVING YOU INFO ON ROAD CONDITION”. Fukuzawa, Mori and Fukuchi arguing on the radio; Jouno cutting in out of nowhere like “Sorry to interrupt gentlemen, but there is an actual tractor on the track. My idiot almost crashed into it. Yellow flag maybe, no?”

Jouno and Teruko’s no.1 idiot - Tecchou. Most clean-racing driver ever. Sings to annoy Jouno on the radio. That one Carlos Sainz radio that was like “De Vries behind, on an outlap” “What? DEBRIS?” yeah that’s him and Jouno. Questionable fashion choices in the paddock. “It was just dangerous driving dude” in the most chill voice when Fyodor nearly crashed into him on a turn (it was probably deliberate). He’s like gym buddies with Chuuya or something.

Tachihara is the no.2 idiot of the team. Used to be a PM reserve driver and just signed for Teruko’s team. 5s penality for incorrect starting position; 10s penalty for serving the og penalty wrong; 15s penalty for speeding in the pit lane; DNF all in one race. Teruko on the radio: Okay what damage do you have. Tachi: TALENT. Is like besties with Chuuya. Is also dating Gin, people were afraid his team change would affect the relationship but nah. Still the cutest in the paddock. Retweets memes from fan accounts after the race. Lippman interviewing him: So how do you feel about the race? First pole position ever... Tachihara: I’m not comfortable at all, not feeling confident either. I got nothing but problems. His wheel just randomly fell off during pre-season testing. Tweeted the it ain’t much but it’s honest work meme once when he spun on the wet track and caused a Guild driver to crash into the barriers. He’s just vibing tbh.

THE GUILD

That one team whose team principal knows shit about racing. Can they even be called a racing team? Yeah they can, because their boss has the money. Treat the sport as a reality show. Honestly I have thought about them the least but here’s what I have:

Fitzgerald is the rich team principal obviously. Had absolutely no connections to f1 prior to buying the team. Supports the idea of more race weekends and sprint races even if that exhausts both the drivers and their teams because it’s more fun! It’s not. If we take out the free practice sessions the races will get more unpredictable mindset. Is most likely using f1 as a way to launder money...

Lucy, poor girl, is stuck as his assistant or something because obviously a rich guy like him needs an assistant. She’s secretly rather good with the mechanics and will be recruited to an actual team (ADA) at one point by Atsushi.

Louisa is the principal strategist obviously.

Poe is the chief engineer. Has to pay fines like every weeekend because of Karl. Goes with Ranpo to all his fave restaurants each weekend. Ranpo is also trying to get him to come work for a team with better prospects.

Herman is the chief mechanic. He really should be retired tho.

Mark Twain and Steinbeck are their drivers and are usually the wild cards of the track. Like a podium here and there, even a win sometimes but those races have to be the most chaotic events ever.

I have no idea what to do with them actually.

Media Team and Race Control (basically everyone else)

Starting with the media team. It’s kind of a reversed situation from that with the founding of the Flags in terms that Piano Man was the last one to join. Also I’m bringing Adam into this. Adam used to be the head of the media team which was a lot of work that he’s glad he’s not doing anymore. Now he’s just in charge of Grill the Grid which are basically the games they have drivers do for fun and fanservice. The games range from Driver Heights (you know who got bullied with that one) to Name Every F1 World Champion to Drivers Explain F1 and more. Iceman is the most brutally honest commentator. Calls FIA out on their bullshit at every opportunity. Used to be a mechanic for PM and he misses the thrill sometimes but he’s happy with where he is right now. The famous “THROUGH GOES HAMILTON” commentary - that’s him with Chuuya’s overtakes. On the other hand, Lippmann wasn’t even supposed to be there lmao. He is a movie star, a very popular one at that. Went to one race because that’s what rich people do you know. Got charmed by one the back-of-the-grid-team’s driver and got passionately invested (Piano Man before he signed for the PM). He’s not there every weekend because he is a famous actor after all, but when he is... Sat down to interview Dazai once this season and next thing you know Fukuchi is announcing his team will be boycotting the entire media team. Another media team member is the newly retired former PM driver, Piano Man whose career was a wild ride but he’s just had enough. The picture of him and Chuuya from the last season went viral because he just told him he’s about to announce his retirement moment before it was taken so he is smiling like a lil shit at the camera and Chuuya is visibly shook. Perfectionist really, he has not exceeded the track limits once in his career. Joined the team as the new full time commentator and is having the time of his life.

Continuing with the Stormbringer squad, Shirase is actually a successfull Moto GP racer, but likes to hang around the F1 paddock when he can to support Chuuya (now that Dazai isn’t sharing the garage with him because fucking hell he did actually try to run him over once or twice).

An ex-driver with several titles to his name, Verlaine. He was born to this rich French couple that let him do whatever he wanted to do, which is why he turned out the way he is. At one point when he was already in F2 his parents decided to do some “charity” and adopt a kid, Chuuya. And then they also proceeded to ignore the kid the same way they did with Verlaine and well, basically, Verlaine was like I am not just a big brother now, I am a dad. His career was also smooth sailing mostly. He got retired the season before Chuuya became the PM driver saying how he didn’t want the fans to see him get beat by that kid. A few years later and he is just casually hanging round the PM garage, offering Chuuya advice or is watching the Monaco GP from his yacht with his husband Rimbaud who has no connections to racing, idk I just can’t see him into F1.

Now onto the most hated people - the Race Control Clowns! Chief Taneda is the race director so basically the man who makes all the final calls regarding anything really, from the rules to the penalties and disqualifications. What bullshit DoA and The Guild teams get up to enables him to make a lot of money. And finally the man who suffers the most (conducts the drivers briefing after the race) is Ango. It is the worst job ever. You put a bunch of grown men in one room and it’s an episode of gossip girl. Example of shit he has to deal with. Ango: any more complaints (praying they all stay silent). Dazai: just after my pitstop, Chuyua deliberately, DELIBERATELY, ran wide out of Turn 9... camera moves to chuuya on the other side of the room gesturing how he’ll kill the bitch the moment they’re out of the room. Another example: Fyodor looking to cause trouble: You say if we were missing Turn 2 we have to go behind the bollard, correct? Ango: Correct. Fyodor with a smile: What do you make of the situation with Tecchou and Dazai then? Ango: Well, the interesting point there was, it was very close because what the notes that I wrote said... camera zooms in to dazai’s murder face and atsushi looking scared for his life next to him. So, Ango’s lfie is the most difficult here.

Am I missing characters here? Yes, just like I have a bunch of random scenes playing in my mind, but this is already getting way too long.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #i have sooo many ideas for the plot #except i don't really have time to actually work on it #ada before every race: dazai don't crash the car for funsies. yeah we get it you wanna die but like that car is expensive.#he also probably pours champagne during the podium celebrations down other drivers' back #akutagawa would rather die than do a shoey (don't ask what that is)#the equivalent of dazai missing ada meetings in the story here is him chilling on a yacht in monaco during driver briefing #akutagawa still calls atsushi nothing but weretiger for some reason

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fyodor-s-rat · 6 months

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BUNGOU STRAY DOGS - when they want a hug

ft.: Dazai, Kunikida, Akutagawa, Chuuya, Nikolai, Fyodor

summary: what do they do when they want a hug?

Dazai

he's overall very touchy and clingy

so hugs with him are a regular thing

he just unexpectedly throws his arms around you, pulling you close

his grip is surprisingly strong, and he won't let you go easily

sometimes you're just chilling on a couch and he basically jumps on you, making you yelp

Kunikida

he's not the type to just come to you and hug you regularly

this doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy hugging you, he simply forgets because of all the work he has

but when he's really stressed, he tends to hug you from the back

he unexpectedly wraps his arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder

you just stay like this for a while, not saying a word

Akutagawa

he won't ask for a hug ever.

but he secretly craves physical touch

hovewer, he would rather die than admit it

so you're the one who initiates the hug usually

but when he's needy and you're busy at the moment, he tries to make small hints

(he just stares at you)

and he gets frustrated when you don't get his hints and ignore it

so he just activates rashomon, pulling you close to him by your waist

he won't let you go easily, his hand resting on the back of your head and the other around your waist

Chuuya

this guy gets what he wants

so when he's needy for a hug, he just says something like "come here, darling" and extends both arms

but sometimes, when he's in a bad mood, he doesn't say a thing, he just wraps his arms around you

he loves when you scratch his hair

his hold is really tight

he likes to squeeze your ass while hugging you

Nikolai

he's similarly clingy like Dazai

he just appears next to you out of nowhere and pulls you close

he always does it so aggressively tho 😭

his large body is practically suffocating you

loves being a big spoon as much as being a little spoon

very touchy, he likes to touch you everywhere

loves giving you head pats

Fyodor

let's be honest, he's not very fond of physical touch of any kind

but that doesn't mean he completely hates it

he's still just a human after all, and even though he seems emotionless, i hold onto the belief that he has emotions deep down

hovewer, when he does want a hug on rare occasions, he won't say it. nuh uh

he would take action

fyodor would reach for you and pull you into his embrace

his arms wrapped around your body, but never touching any explicit area (if you know what i mean)

it is kind of strange, he doesn't say a thing while holding you

he always pulls away first, quietly walking elsewhere

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd scenarios #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs headcanons #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd headcanons #bsd fluff #dazai #chuuya hcs #bsd fyodor #nikolai x reader #akutagawa x reader #bsd kunikida #dazai headcanons #fyodor x reader #fyodor dostoevsky

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popopretty · 4 months

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[Translation] Asagiri Kafka's afterwords for The Day I Picked up Dazai novel

Normally, afterwords would be the last thing I read in a novel, but as there are not many changes to the published novel this time compared to the movie bonus version, I was able to skim through the text quickly and get to this. And to be honest, despite not being a writer myself, I was so moved by Asagiri's views about writing and his characters that he shared in the afterwords, that I had to sit down and translate it right away.

This is just my crappy translation, as usual, but I hope it gave you a short, interesting look into the author and the characters. And please do not forget to buy the novel if you have the chance.

The translation is under the cut, thank you!

It has been a while. This is Asagiri Kafka.

Have you been enjoying Bungou Stray Dogs?

This novel, “The Day I Picked up Dazai”, is a compilation of the first week’s bonus novel “The Day I Picked up Dazai – Side A” and the second week’s bonus novel “The Day I Picked up Dazai – Side B” for the screening of “Bungou Stray Dogs BEAST” movie (hereinafter referred to as “BEAST”).

Normally, it is difficult to publish a bonus like this, but since "BEAST” and “Fifteen” that were published earlier by BEANS Bunko were originally bonus novels too, "The Day I Picked up Dazai” was also published in the same way, thanks to the efforts of all parties involved in the Bungou Stray Dogs series.

It is the story of Dazai and Odasaku’s first meeting, where Dazai who wants to die, collapsed in front of Odasaku’s place, who is neither a mafioso nor a hit man.

Why are there two different stores, Side A and Sode B? Regarding this question, please read the novel and see for yourself. If you keep in mind that this is the bonus for the BEAST movie, I think you will be able to understand it better.

Let me reminisce a little bit here.

This story was actually suggested to me by Igarashi Takuya, Director of the Bungou Stray Dogs anime.

Shortly before BEAST movie premiered, I was struggling. It was because I was asked to write a bonus novel for movie-goers again. I said “again” because, as I mentioned earlier, BEAST itself was a bonus novel for the Bungou Stray Dogs DEAD APPLE movie. I remembered having a hard time writing it, because I let myself run wild and wrote a total of 190 pages instead of 50 pages as requested.

But I had learnt my lesson after the last rampage. I can’t just write whatever I want anymore. I have to wrap the story in a reasonable length, like a pro should do.

A proper, professional story.

Huh?

My pen stopped right there. I stopped, looked around, feeling lost.

What is a proper story?

The act of writing novel is quite different in character compared to other types of media such as writing manga, anime scripts, or game scenarios. You can say it is almost a different thing. Writing novels, rather than narrating an event, is more like putting the flow of emotions into specific sentences. You use the sequence of letters to create rhythms, create flows, and create emotions. If anything, it might be closer to composing a song than writing a story.

Therefore, you have to decide “what kind of emotion will be put in this novel” from the very beginning, or you can’t start writing. That is the only and absolute rule.

Now, however, that is where the condition of a “proper story” hung over me.

A proper novel, of a proper volume, with a proper content for a bonus.

In other words, a proper emotion.

I searched through the drawers inside my head. For a proper emotion that is waiting to be brought out.

There was nothing but emptiness there.

A professional story teller is one with the skill to move the readers’ emotions. When people find the chance to move their own emotions, they will happily be paying for it. Human-being is that kind of creature.

And writers are ones who create and sell those kinds of emotions: the fear, the excitement, the heart throb etc., those that make you think. It is that kind of job.

It is supposed to be that kind of job.

Yet I became unable to move forward.

A good story is a story that moves people. I know that. Then what kind of emotion I should put in the story to make it "proper"?

How do I find that emotion?

I mean, how did I even write novels until now?

I stood still. My legs stiffened, my knees froze, unable to take even a step forward.

I then tried to at least pretend that I was moving forward, by listening to music, by taking a walk around the neighborhood at night. But as good as the night breeze felt, I didn’t manage to reach a single story that I needed to write.

What if I stayed like this forever, what would I do?

I felt a chill plunging into my back.

Then I realized, that stories, or probably emotions too, are not things you can search for or come up with. You have no choice but to patiently wait for it to come your way. You have no choice but to humbly and earnestly sit and wait for the story’s visit.

I got that, but the "proper 50-page story” still refused to come.

It was not long before one week passed. Then two weeks.

I was doing other work, while keeping my heart’s door open, waiting for the story to come to me.

At that time, I had an online meeting with the anime staff. I casually asked Director Igarashi, “Do you have any story you want to see?”

The Director gave it a little thought then told me, "I want to see the story of Dazai and Oda’s encounter”.

At that very moment, the story rushed in through my door, like a bang. I could hear that sound very clearly.

Two stories. Odasaku, and the two Dazais. A story where they met, and a story where they couldn’t meet. A story of gain and a story of loss. If I can portray the gain and loss side by side, the amplitude of the heart will be doubled and rise up in front of us.

That was a momentary event. Rather than pushing my way forward, I felt as if something was pulling my hand. Before I noticed, I have already finished the stories.

I came to realize.

It is not the writer who searches for the story. It is the story that chooses its writer, and at some point it will come our way. A professional writer is no more than someone with the ability to catch that call.

Also, this is the most important thing: there is no such thing as a “proper emotion”. Because after all, the feelings of other people belong to them only. That is why there is no guarantee that a novel can move others “properly”. However, you can move your own emotions. You know what kind of novel can and how it will move you. If you do, you can write just that. That’s the only way. That is the truly professional attitude. That’s what I thought.

Well then.

It is a little bit off topic, but as we are talking about “stories that come our way”, let’s talk about Odasaku’s first-person narrative.

Odasaku is a special character. For me, he is exclusively a novel character, and I have never portrayed him in the manga.

He first appeared as the narrator in “Dazai Osamu and The Dark Era”, then “BEAST” and now this “The Day I Picked up Dazai”. All are novels. That’s why for me, Odasaku doesn’t live inside the pictures, he lives inside the first-person narrative passages.

He is an eccentric guy. Even if you prepare the place and tell him to speak, he won’t speak to you that easily. His way of thinking is rather unique, that if I write his narrative after writing other characters’ first-person narrative, I would stumble for sure. Odasaku doesn’t speak. He just sits there in silence, while I can do nothing but sitting in front of my blank manuscript paper, trying to talk to him, like “What’s up?”, “Here, here”. However, he is a guy who won’t speak when it is not necessary. Sometimes it goes days or even weeks without him saying a word. Why did such a character come to me...?

During such time, there is only one thing I can do. That is, of course, to stay with him, sit patiently, and simply wait.

Finally he will start speaking. In his unique rhythm, word by word. His words have the power to cut through the world from a certain angle. That special cross-section is full of things I have never seen before and it never fails to surprise me.

And then when he finishes telling his story, he will swiftly disappear. To a dark and quiet place somewhere – probably, I can only imagine, somewhere like a bar. He will sit there calmly and keep his own time to himself. After that, it will be hard to call him again. It is a backbreaking task to me, but in the end, that is the type of guy Odasaku is, and if I am allowed to sound self-conscious, that is Odasaku's charm.

This story was written in such a way. There is a chance that he will come back again. And when he does, I will patiently listen to his voice again.

This story was completed and published thanks to the help of many people: in the Bungou Stray Dogs BEAST movie’s Production Committee, the anime staff, Young Ace’s Editorial Department, BEANS Bunko’s Editorial Department, and the many people who were involved in the publication of the book. Thank you very much. It is all thanks to you that the book was published without any problem this time as well.

Well then, see you in the next story.

Asagiri Kafka.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #the day i picked up dazai #traánlation

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cheriiyaya · 3 months

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From the start

Featuring: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor, and Kunikida

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧How do they realize they're in love...?

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Contents: fem!Reader, LIL BIT OF ANGST (not too much tho), first time writing for kuni !!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧A/N: Finally understand how gradients work !!

Dazai Osamu

Dazai doesn't do love-or rather he doesn't do long-term relationships. He only ever has had flings, one night stands where he's in someone's sheets at moonrise and out before dawn. But that doesn't mean dazai doesn't want it-

The human connection that love brings, a sense of belonging that dazai has craved. The ability the feel as if he was apart of humanity, rather watching from the sidelines.

But at the same time, he fears such an intimate connection with another. They would be able to see pass the careless facade he puts up, they'll see every dark and twisted crack of his being. They'll know when his stupid jokes are a diversion, they'll know the truth behind his eyes.

But you were always there, and dazai couldn't shake the emotions you brought. He'd find you no matter where you were, as if a string pulled taunt guided you to find the other in a sea of souls. He's never felt this way, why does he long to be near you when his hear sinks and races with an unknown emotion guiding it?

So when dazai realized he was in love with you, it was because he felt like he belonged. and it scared him. He avoided you, but how could one avoid their home for too long without yearning for it?

He belonged in your heart, in your arms. Dazai belonged in your shared home. He could rest in your arms, free from the fears of knowing what laid behind his well-put facade because he allows you too see past it, and strangely enough-

he doesn't mind.

Nakahara Chuuya

You were annoying as hell.

That's what chuuya always thought when it came to you- you annoy him and for no good reason.

How could you not? You cause his throat to go dry and his heart to seize up, you drown out every thought of his when you as so much as speak or smile at him. When you playfully poke him it sends a chill through his body and all chuuya can do it grit his teeth and look away.

How could he not hate you?

that's a lie. Chuuya knows he doesn't hate you, it's so obvious yet he can't seem to see what's right in front of him. but it's better to lie.

But you bring such a rush of emotions to him, and chuuya first thought it was fear. he thought he was scared of you at first, but he realized that it wasn't fear, It was love.

he didn't want to admit it, but when chuuya realized he loved you, it was because he realized how human you make him feel. weight of his title as the strongest ability user, or mafia executive or the vessel of arahabaki-

in your eyes, in your tender touch it didn't exist; he was just chuuya

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Fyodor let you near him at first because you were naught but a pawn. A chess piece that he could manipulate and sacrifice if needed, you held no sentiment in his mind-much less his heart.

But as the months of knowing you went on, Fyodor developed an interest to you, whether he liked it or not. Instead of giving you positions on missions where there was a possibility you could die, he gave you roles that were more in the back, more safe. Fyodor wanted to know why he was so enraptured with you, and what a fool he was for doing so.

His interest in you came to a point where he'd actively seek you out outside of missions. walking beside you as an equal and talking about regular things (which he strangely didn't mind), discussing books or topics that interested the both of you, and fyodor could feel the way the oxygen in his lungs was pulled tight as his name rolled off your tongue like it was the sweetest dessert you've tasted.

When he realized he loved you, it was because he wanted you to be by his side. You weren't a nameless pawn, you saw fyodor for himself and he had become enraptured by you.

You were the one who he'd fall to his knees to every night in worship, and there in the solitude of night with you his prayers were heard more than in any church.

Kunikida Doppo

Kunikida is a man of schedule, of timely organization and a man like him has no tolerance for disturbances in his well thought out schedule- and life. Besides, he already knows when he'll find the one, and he knows when he'll slide a ring on her finger and promise his life to her in well thought out vows. Kunikida has already planned it out, he'll be ready.

But you came in and ruined everything.

Your constant nagging always frustrated him to no end, the way you were so unpredictable-

Kunikida went home everyday wanting to tear out his hair and with butterflies fluttering around in his ribs.

It didn't take long for his unsufferable brown-hair partner to catch up with the feelings kunikida didn't even know he had. The brunette would always point you out, giggling "don 'cha think she looks pretty today, kunikida-kun?" only for a hand to slap down on his pale skin, but dazai wouldn't miss the way his cheeks adorned a pink hue and how kunikida's eyes would linger a little too long on you.

This continued, along with you and Kunikida becoming closer. he no longer wished to tear out his hair, the butterflies who's delicate wings tickled his ribcage grew in number and he stopped growing irritated at lost time and messed up schedules if it meant spending more time with you.

That's when he figured it out. When he not only dug time in his busy schedule just for you, but when he no longer felt a swell of annoyance flood through him when you interrupted his schedule.

He didn't get frustrated with you anymore, and he didn't see you inserting yourself into situations as ruining his timeliness; rather you fitted perfectly into it.

©Cheriiyaya 2024

#☾⋆⁺₊⋆ 𝕽𝖊𝖉'𝖘 𝕽𝖚𝖒𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖘 ⋆⁺₊⋆☾#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd x reader #dazai x reader #osamu dazai x you #osamu dazai x reader #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya x you #fyodor x reader #fyodor dostoevsky x reader #fyodor x you #kunikida x reader #kunikida x you #bsd dazai osamu #bsd chuuya #bsd fyodor #bsd kunikida

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atlasnessie · 3 months

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DAYCARE PICK UP !! let’s go home, lovely

osamu & chuuya as daddies picking up their poor adorable baby girl up from daycare !! ( same names as the other fic guys mb lawll )

early fall always made dazai’s heart turn in a different way. the ways the leaves on the trees change colors and die down for the new generation, it made his heart feel melancholic in the windy weather. however, the waves of unknown emotions had to subside. today, osamu dazai has taken on the task of picking up his daughter from daycare. you have entrusted him to be on time, no later than five for that was when all the other children would be leaving with their own parents and guardians and, oh dear, it would be terrible to leave your poor daughter all alone with no one to play with, wouldn’t it ?

as osamu stepped into the small daycare, he was relieved to see his daughter with a few other kids, playing with a small kitchen set and siring up a pot filled with fake carrots and lettuce leaves. he was always worried she would be outcasted like him. as one of the workers called akane over, she dropped all her things and smiled, rushing over to her father. the daycare workers grabbed for akanes bags and belongings, handing them over to osamu with a smile as the both of them left.

the walk to the house was filled with small chatter and dazai carrying akane by the shoulders, his big hands holding his daughters legs in a protective manner as akane messed with his chocolate hair.

“how was today, dear ?”

“was fun. we did finger painting !! look; it’s flowers, the sun, clouds, and this is mommy, and this is you !” as akane held a paper in front of dazai’s face, he stopped walking and stepped to the side of the sidewalk. despite the paper being far too close to his face, he could make out small blobs and streaks of hair that rested on (what seemed like) your head in the drawing. dazai wore a dolly smile on the drawing, the crescent shaky and uneven, but it gave himself flavor.

“oh, this is wonderful !! let’s go home and show mommy, yeah ? and then we can put it on the fridge together, how about it ?”

chuuya told you there was no need for a daycare. he could just hire a nanny to look for chiyo for the day while the two of you were away or you could stay home with her, he makes more than enough money for the three of you. but you insisted, saying it would be good for your daughter to play with other kids rather than a nanny. and to chuuya, your words are almost law to him, he’ll follow it if it makes you happy.

which now leads to where chuuya is now. his chauffeur stops in front of the daycare as chuuya thanks him, telling him that he could park somewhere before opening the door and walking in. with his hands in his pockets, chuuya turned his head from wall to wall. papers filled with drawings filled the halls, along with small decorations such as paper chains made by the children and cut outs by the teachers and workers. it wasn’t a fancy place as chuuya wanted, it was rather normal, in fact. a plain exterior complemented with nicely decorated hallways.

as nakahara walked further in the daycare, he stopped at the familiar door and knocked gently with a gloved hand. the door was cut in two, the top half open while the bottom half was lock closed. chuuya liked this door, he could see his daughter without the anticipation of wondering where chiyo was and what she was doing. a worker walked over and smiled neatly at chuuya before calling for chiyo. the girl, dressed neatly and hair done to perfection, ran over to the door as chuuya waved. grabbing her things, chiyo waved goodbye to her friends before holding her fathers big hands in hers.

“‘ya had fun, pretty ?”

“mhm ! we painted and drew lots. we also made tomato-lettuce-apple-leaf soup outside in the playground !” chiyo hopped around as she stepped over the tile lines, jumping slightly higher with the help of chuuyas hands and arms lifting her up gently.

“oh yeah ? that sounds like real fun. hey, mommy’s making food back at home, hope you’re not too full from your … err — soup from earlier.”

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs dazai #bsd dazai #osamu dazai #dazai x reader #dazai x you #bsd fluff #bungo stray dogs chuuya #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #chuuya x reader #chuuya x you #atlas writes !

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chocsra · 3 months

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chuuya wakes up to the unfortunately shared bed of your checked in hotel that the port mafia assigned you to. he's begrudgingly slept next to you, the redhead never wanted to invade a woman's privacy like that but doing anything else would be suspicious, it'd be odd for an alleged married couple not to share a bed.

he scans his eyes to your sleeping figure, your blanket rumpled all over your legs, the rest of your body sprawled out in a comfortable but messy position as your eyes remained fluttered shut. chuuya noticed the sliver of your shirt exposing your stomach as he swallows thickly with conviction.

he'd rather not touch you in any way but, he feels like it's wrong to just leave you there. so, with a calculated and gentle tug, he pulls the hem of your shirt down to cover your exposed stomach. unbeknownst to the ginger, your eyes flutter open as you rub them, your hair splayed out against the pillow lifting as you lift your head in confusion.

"what the fuck!--" you jolt up from his once cautious movements, and swiftly slap him on the face, making him wince, though written all over his face was: 'i deserved that.' you quickly pulled your shirt down and covered yourself with a blanket. "wait, no!-- it wasn't like that!" chuuya stumbles all over his words, a pink tint spreading to the apples of his cheeks and ears, even to the tip of his nose as he tries to explain himself frustratingly.

"i was just trying to pull your shirt down." he explains, rubbing his cheek pensively, watching as you glare at him suspiciously. "what was that look for then?' you retort, lips tugging into an annoyed frown. "hey, what am i supposed to look like when i wake up in the middle of my sleep?" the man huffs, looking around the dim room, trying to cover his embarrassment. you scan your eyes on him with malice, though you know he isn't that type of guy, nor did he seem anything but sincere. an overcoming silence fills the room, before you begrudgingly break it.

"why aren't you sleeping? aren't you worried about tomorrow's assignment?" you question quietly, the redhead scoffs in return, "me? no way. you just keep tossing in your sleep." he retorts, before attempting to lay down and sleep again, although, he jolts up again. "do you know much you move in your goddamn sleep?? you're keeping me up." chuuya claims, pointing around to the loose ends of the shared room, making you scoff in bafflement. "are you crazy?" you rhetorically question, biting your inner cheek pensively, "why are you even observing me while i sleep?"

from the former accused actions of the mafioso, he did seem like a creep right now. a pink tint blends in his cheeks a more noticeable shade once again as he scowls, "it's not my fault! you kept slapping me while i was trying to sleep." chuuya claims once again, making you scowl in return, "you're no better. you kept snoring and cursing out dazai!" the redhead huffs as if he were deeply offended by your words. "i wonder who you're gonna share a bed with in the future -- god save him!" chuuya grumbles in annoyance one more time before flopping to sleep, facing away from you, shutting his eyes as you do the same.

but chuuya definitely needs to be saved right now. for the countless times he's woke up tonight, now, your arms are curled around his waist, cheek squished against his back. "[Y/N].." the redhead mutters, pulling your arms away, feigning a raspy sigh as you halt but quickly return to encircling your arms around him. he drops his head from looking at you, shuffling his body so that you feel uncomfortable hugging him. but nothing works.

then your hands lock and tighten together like you're going to preform some sort of clinch, so chuuya quickly turns around to face you, making sure he doesn't die. "you're impossible.." he murmurs with a pout tugging on his lips - if blushing was a sport, chuuya would've won the Olympics because of you. your head was rested on his back, now it's his chest as you curl your arms around him even tighter.

the redhead brushes some loose strands of hair out of your face, sighing intently, before encircling his arms around your shoulders, pulling you closer so you can't toss around and slap him in your sleep. if it meant to stop you from moving so much, chuuya would gladly have you sleep in arms, or so he tells himself, because he really wouldn't let anyone else pull that at all. he buries his face in your shoulder as he exhales, feeling the moon soak over the remaining hours of the night.

"don't be mad when you wake up, 'kay? this is your fault." chuuya mutters one last time before drifting off to a peaceful sleep, for the first time in forever since he's shared a bed with you. but, as grumpy as he his - he's lucky that he gets to hold you while doing so.

#yes i based this off vagabond #don't take this as my writing comeback! it's just a drabble i thought of randomly #I'll put my soul in my other projects #but like i have so much I haven't completed #chocsra #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bsd x reader #chuuya x reader #chuuya x you #chuuya x fem!reader #fem reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #chuuya x y/n #drabble

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yokohamapound · 4 months

Note

How about some angsty HCs?? 😏

How would Kunikida, Dazai, Fukuzawa, Chuuya and Fyodor (or anyone else you’d like too) react to their s/o taking a hit for them that would have otherwise been fatal if they didn’t?? S/o ends up being okay but the gentlemen are all angsty in the meantime >:)

Thanks so much lovely! 🥰💕

Hello, my lovely! It's been a while since I wrote some good old angst, so this scratched an itch. I hope these are what you are looking for!

Characters: Nakahara Chuuya, Dazai Osamu, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Fukuzawa Yukichi, Kunikida Doppo

Contents: death mentions, suicide mentions, controlling behaviour, anger issues

Nakahara Chuuya

Ooh, it’s kinda difficult for him to deal with? He’s in two minds about it, really.

On one hand, he’s strong enough that whatever blow was being dealt to him really wouldn’t have hurt him that much, or so he tells himself. All he can think about is that moment where the bullet/bomb/fireball, whatever it is, was coming toward you. Yes, you survived it, but he had to live through the nanoseconds of absolute hell when he thought he was just about to see another person he cares about die right before his eyes.

His temper erupts afterward. He’s furious, yelling at you that you “didn’t fuckin’ need to do that!” You’d be forgiven for thinking that it’s his pride you’ve hurt, but it’s anger born of worry. Those few moments he thought you were going to die were harrowing for him.

Imagine if he carelessly lost the person he loves the most, just because he was too slow or too stupid to see it coming? Shit, he could never live with himself if that happened.

However, there’s the other side of the coin. Which is that you cared about him enough to intercept a blow aimed at him. Chuuya can’t remember the last time someone did that for him. He’s used to being the tank, to soaking up all the violence so the geniuses can get on with their schemes. He doesn’t really know how to handle someone trying to protect him, like he’s something vulnerable.

He likes it and he doesn’t. He’s grateful and he’s pissed. Chuuya’s a complicated creature.

Once he’s done yelling and has calmed down a little, he’ll mutter something that sounds like a ‘thank you’, though he says it with his eyes mulishly averted and one arm wrapped tightly around your waist. He won’t be letting you out of his sight for a while, even while he’s being a grouch.

Dazai Osamu

While he might not show it on the surface, this has a rather profound effect on Dazai. Remember the last time someone he loved died in front of him?

While he pretends to be calm on the surface, inside he’s in turmoil. He should have seen it coming; you’re the self-sacrificing sort, always trying to save him in one or another. But before now, it hasn’t been literal.

I feel like time moves very slowly for someone as fast as Dazai. He was able to process far too much information in those few seconds you were in danger. All of his mistakes, laid out for him as plain as day.

He tends to convince himself that he can plan around every kind of incident but this is a start reminded that this isn’t always the case.

“Hey, bella?” His tone is unusually serious. His hand on your shoulder. “I’m going to need you not to do that again. Believe it or not, I don’t want to see you die in front of me.”

If you pay close attention, you’ll notice Dazai doesn’t make any more double suicide jokes after that. They don’t have the same appeal. Dazai doesn’t think he could stand to watch you die, even if you did want to join him.

He keeps a close watch on you after that, turning up unexpectedly throughout your day without any explanation, his lanky form popping up like a weed.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

While he will never, ever reveal it, this will shake Fyodor’s iron-clad ego a little bit. He likes to think he is in control of everything, and he can predict every single action of yours down to the blink. For whatever reason, he didn’t foresee you getting in his way and taking a hit meant for him.

You gain an element of unpredictability, which is both intriguing and alarming for him.

There is also the fact that you stepped in to take a hit for him. While he’s used to having underlings who look up to him like a god (Ivan), he doesn’t count you amongst the peons. He’s got you wrapped around his little finger, but in a way that promotes adoration and obedience, not self-sacrificing recklessness. He’ll have to step back and examine your relationship somewhat.

“My darling, what was the meaning of that?” he asks of you, his tone soft and a little dangerous. “I do not need you flinging yourself in the path of danger for me. I have everything in hand.”

He likes your devotion, but he doesn’t want you getting in the way of his plans. And he does care about you, love you in his own way—he doesn’t want to lose something he sees as his.

If you were injured at all, he will have the best private doctors on hand to treat you. Be prepared for his love and attention to be a little stifling for a while. He won’t want to let you out of his sight.

As for the person whose attack you foiled? Fyodor will turn the full weight of his enormous intellect to destroying them. They were dead the moment their attack came near something he cares about.

Fukuzawa Yukichi

Fukuzawa is very much the self-sacrificing sort. He’s said more than once that he doesn’t mind giving up his life in order to ensure peace in Yokohama, or to protect the lives of the younger members of the agency. He’s heavily bound by duty.

While he holds these values to himself, he doesn’t expect you to abide by the same code. In fact, he doesn’t want you to. You’re not a grizzled old samurai like him. (His words, not yours.)

He also heavily dislikes the idea that you were in danger because of him. Your relationship with him shouldn’t be a source of danger for you. As soon as he’s sure you’re safe and well, he will sit back and mull things over in his silent, intense way. He considers all options, from simply killing the person who tried to attack him, to ending your relationship with him to ensure your safety.

Thankfully, he comes to the conclusion that you are an adult who knows what is good for you. He’s never hidden the truth from you, and if you’re willing to face that to stand at his side, then Fukuzawa needs to respect that. He can’t make your decisions for you.

“However,” he says. “I must ask that you do not do that again. I can accept my own death, but not yours.”

“Don’t you trust me to watch your back?”

“Obviously, you can be trusted,” he says. “Today is evidence enough, but know that I could not live with myself if you were injured or killed looking out for me. If death is coming for me, I have earned it.”

He can’t really be talked out of this mindset, but that’s part of why you fell for him in the first place. Just make him a promise that you won’t put yourself at risk on his behalf.

Kunikida Doppo

Poor Kunikida.

One of his ideals is that he will never watch anyone die right in front of him if he can help it. The last time he had to watch an innocent person die, it almost shattered his psyche.

If you were to die in front of him, it would break him utterly. Even though you’re fine, the close shave rattles him down to his core. Instead of blowing his top and then settling down, the way you’re used to him doing, Kunikida becomes grim and quiet.

He refuses to step away from your bedside while you’re in the hospital for a check-up after the incident. His notebook of ideals is folded in his pocket, ignored. The fact he isn’t scribbling anything down is a little alarming. He’s not Kunikida if he’s not adding little notes to it every five minutes. He has his hands steepled together, his face grim behind his glasses.

“Are you going to yell at me?” you ask him.

Kunikida lifts his gaze to you, almost as if he’s surprised to hear you speak. He breaks out of his reverie a little bit, sitting up and pushing his glasses further up his nose. The light hits the lenses, hiding his expression from you a little. His voice is sombre.

“I must thank you for saving my life,” he tells you, almost formal.

“That’s not the only thing bothering you, is it?” You know him well enough by now. You reach out and take one of his hands.

Kunikida fingers tighten around yours, trembling slightly. It’s the only way that you can see how completely off centre he is.

“Kunikida?”

“Don’t…don’t make me worry like that again. Please.”

#yokohama pound #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd imagines #bsd headcanons #Nakahara Chuuya #Fyodor Dostoevsky #Dazai Osamu #Fukuzawa Yukichi #Kunikida Doppo #Chuuya x Reader #Dazai x Reader #Kunikida x Reader #Fukuzawa x Reader #Fyodor x Reader #angst

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4ngel-inc · 4 months

Text

here's the thing about osamu dazai . . . ੭ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

osamu has a lot of love in his heart, and one of his greatest desires is to just feel wanted—it's something he didn't even realize he needed until he met you. it's like there was a gaping hole in his heart before you came into his life, and he was sure there was nothing that could fill the void—oda had told him long ago, you won't find what you're looking for. . . and he'd accepted that. but the least he could do was help people—he felt he was accomplishing that much, or at least working, little by little, toward what his friend's dying wishes were.

but he was still just floating, never quite sure where to turn when his emotions crept up on him, though he tried to press them down for as long as possible—tried to lock them away in a dusty room or at the bottom of a lake, his only friend his approaching shadow as he sank to the bottom, hoping to find peace at last.

if he could't fill the void, he'd escape it entirely.

losing things he loved—people he loved—was always hard for him. he was almost afraid to care for anything, like it was an omen of death placed unfairly upon others.

and when he found you, it was like a weight lifting slowly—his trust first seeping from his soul, before pouring out of his veins like the blood he'd wished he could drain from his body entirely, if only to spare him the pain of another loss—another disappointment in a search that always revealed itself to be fruitless, returning with a hollow soul once again—the same one that make him sick with shame.

the first time you had sex, osamu felt like he was more than his body—this was more than love. you never judged him for wanting to die, never questioned his motives past a surface-level conversation, only reassuring him there were beautiful things to live for all around him, just waiting to be discovered—if only he could see past his misery for a singular moment. if he could stop and breathe, and take it all in.

but if he never did, if he chose to continue living exactly the way he was when you met him—you'd never leave. you promised him that much.

say you'll never leave.

the words were whispered in your ear each time he reached his climax. you wondered if he even realized he was saying them anymore, it was such an everyday occurrence—he was so caught up in the feeling of being close to you—he loved your skin, your hair, your eyes, your perfume. your mind intrigued him, he would never tire of listening to the thoughts and ideas you created in your consciousness, letting them drift and fill the space between you.

your words were a gift. your touch was a treasure to him.

"promise me you'll never leave," the words often tickled your neck as his breathing grew faster and more desperate for release—sparking goosebumps across your skin as he moaned your name.

"don't leave- don't leave- never leave me." tears often threatened to spill from his eyes as he neared his climax—and sometimes they did—the little droplets on your neck only reminding you how real life was, how painful it could be, and only bringing you closer to your release.

the same way he valued you, his heart was your greatest treasure.

"i won't. i'm yours. i'm here."

"fuck-i'm coming." sometimes it sounded like pain, rather than pleasure—a suspended solution of pure bliss at your existence and the dread of how open he was with you, how dangerous it was to have his entire heart in your hands.

his love for you just overflowed each time you held him, every way that you touched him—the way you simply wanted him had his toes curling as he filled you each time, reaching as deep as possible, desperate to keep you close.

he only hoped putting everything on the line for you would be enough to make you stay. he could hide in those moments of closeness with you forever, abandoning anything and everything else for a taste of the happiness he felt with you—whatever it took to make you as happy as you made him, he'd do anything.

he'd cross any line. he'd leave his heart open, bruised, and bleeding for you. anything for you.

⊹ ֗ ꫂ

#— love notes: [dazai] ୧ ‧₊#dazai x reader #osamu dazai x reader #bsd x reader #bsd smut #bsd fluff

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sugarcarnation · 1 year

Text

something i find very interesting is that fukuzawa and fukuchis reunion seems to be an almost directly mirrored version of dazai and chuuyas reunion

both scenes start with fukuchi and chuuya entering the room where their old partner is waiting for them in handcuffs

very soon after that we’re made aware that they have a past together but while fukuchi and fukuzawa start cheerfully drinking together and reminiscing about the past dazai and chuuyas interactions are more tense and they don’t seem to hold any fond memories of each other

when things escalate both fukuchi and chuuya attack the handcuffs of the other to set them free (seriously these are almost exactly the same panel)

and yet fukuchi doesn’t go through with it claiming he knew fukuzawa wanted him to act this way in order to gain the advantage over him in a fight. by keeping him chained fukuchi is able to stay in control while chuuya breaks the chains and directly challenges dazai to a fight which ends with dazai being able to blackmail him by claiming it would look like chuuya let him escape

both fukuchi and dazai propose a deal to their old partner that seems to benefit both sides and while fukuzawa immediately denies chuuya (reluctantly) agrees to go along with dazais plan

the ending of both scenes are completely different now with fukuchi and fukuzawa both being enemies on different sides despite them previously seeming to be on good terms

compare that to dazai and chuuya whose reunion ends with them having agreed to cooperate. despite them having claimed to not have any positive feelings for the other when chuuya leaves they’re making what seems to be on old inside joke of them which lets us see dazai genuinely laugh for the first time

theres such a huge difference in how fukuchi and fukuzawa try to give off the impression of being on civilized terms while actually having very opposing morals and ideals (especially taking into account that fukuchi was the one to manipulate fukuzawa and the ada in the first place) while dazai and chuuya would rather die than have people think they like each other but actually still understand each other like no one else and these scenes highlight that really well in my opinion

#me pointing at them: PARALLELS #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd manga spoilers #dazai osamu #bsd spoilers #nakahara chuuya #soukoku #bsd skk #fukuzawa yukichi #fukuchi ouchi #fukufuku

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judasgot-it · 3 months

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Hold Me Tight (and Don't Forget Me)

Scenario: Dazai takes you out on a date the day he's arrested. Slight Warning for Jouno being an ass.

Hold Me Tight - BTS

1.3 k word count

Blue skies and perfect weather - the worst, because that meant that today would be the perfect day before Dazai would ruin it once again.

It was a strange feeling to have. It was too peaceful, like a flock of seagulls waiting to be chased.

There was nothing wrong. And that was what was wrong with it.

"Dazai. Did you do something?"

You knew it was impossible to ask Dazai these questions and get an honest answer - your ability didn't work on him, so it was only a force of habit to want to interrogate him.

In response, he only smiled, like a cat that was too high for the barking dog. It made your skin bristle every time, but today he was handsy - he smoothed down your sleeves, easing your nerves with a gentle touch.

"I didn't do anything that you need to worry about. We're supposed to be focused on us, remember?"

His grin was honest, almost charming. He sipped his coffee rather loudly to make his point, drinking as if to remind you with force that you were in a diner, not at the Armed Detective Agency.

"Well, yes. But I know you, and you're only hiding the inevitable. You can tell me Dazai, we are dating."

It was weak to pull a card like that with him, but it was always worth a shot anyway. As if dating would make a difference in how Dazai acted.

The man was a mystery, sitting in front of you in his casual attire - nicer because for once, he had washed them for this occasion. He looked put together as well, hair nicely done and his face looking as a man in his younger 20s should.

He typically looked a little disheveled, hidden behind his charisma but noticeable with anyone who cared for appearances. A good smile managed to hide a lot of things, and for once you didn't need to think about it.

In your mind, you knew that something was wrong from this. The last time he had taken you out like this, he had known he would almost die from an ability user, and it was his apology beforehand.

The strange sense of doom was disconcerting; but so was Dazai's cold skin. He was always bouncing so quickly between temperatures as if he were a broken heater - but being cold? On such a warm day?

"I know we are. Just enjoy yourself babe, can't you do that for me?"

His smile was warm, enough to reach his chestnut eyes - treated with a light varnish from the sunlight penetrating the windows. Whatever warmth his body did have, he must have given it to you through that smile, because now you felt just a little hot.

"I don't like you sometimes."

You averted from his gaze, still holding onto his hand despite this. Dazai didn't say anything, his fingers gently tracing patterns along the hair on your wrists.

"Your face says otherwise. Looks like you're loving my company."

He leaned in closer, careful of your plates, pulling your face to match his. It was easier to kiss him than to say you had lost.

But still, something was wrong.

Dazai kissed you as if he would walk out like this was his last dinner. It wasn't hungry and yet it wasn't polite - it was desperate and it felt like an apology for a crime he hadn't even committed yet.

Or maybe one he already had.

It was only the middle of the day when Dazai had decided that a good way to spend your time would be horse betting.

Gambling seemed like an odd place to have a date, but it hadn't been the worst one of his ideas. At least it was outside, and it made for good conversation - even as he insisted on staying as close to the crowd as possible.

Dazai had thrown around some big money - enough to make you worried he was going to actually kill himself tonight.

He was just...strange. As the races had gone on, he had become more and more nervous, fumbling with his pockets and becoming a sort of weird handsy with you - as if you wouldn't notice the strange clamminess his skin had become.

Cold and sweaty, a strange feeling on Dazai.

You were left stuck in deep thought as you stared at the pale white horse Dazai had bet on, a bold '9' staring right back at you.

"Excuse me"

A soft and polite voice had broken you out of your thoughts, forcing you to look away from the race - you had won, and a little bit of relief was felt knowing that Dazai was at least lucky enough to have not blown his last three paychecks on horse racing.

"Would either of you happen to know who won this race?"

His eyes were closed, while his smile seemed...off. Your ability was near constant in your mind, and you could feel how wrong this man was. He didn't really care which horse won that race.

"Number 9 won." In your silence, Dazai responded for you, smiling as if this were an idle conversation. He hadn't seemed to notice the scheming mask the man wore, like a fox ready to jump for the canary.

"So you won then, right? You seem quite pleased with yourself after all."

"Wow! How'd you know all of that?"

You tried to lean closer to Dazai, almost feeling how wrong the man was. It was almost like he knew something you didn't, and it was disturbing to you. His smile practically was still friendly, nothing wrong. But it felt almost as cutting as a knife.

"After I had lost my sight, I had gained new senses - I can hear your heart rates, smell your fear, and even feel your future in my back pocket."

Swiftly, the man had handcuffed himself to Dazai, revealing a pair of sharp canines behind his wicked smile.

"And I know that you, Osamu Dazai, are going to be arrested for 138 counts of conspiracy to murder, 312 counts of extortion, and 625 counts of assorted fraud. I could keep going, but I feel like your fiancé has heard more than enough."

Dazai turned to you, his face paler than the cumulonimbus clouds that towered the sky behind you. By his expression alone, you could tell he had no idea that this would happen.

"Wait, hold on-"

You held onto Dazai's arm desperately, reaching for the handcuffs that were beginning to tear him apart from you. This felt like a dream turning into a nightmare, and that you were running too slow.

"I'm a Hunting Dog. I know more than enough about you as well, and your ability should have told you that I'm not a liar like Mr. Dazai here."

Maybe that was why he felt so off. It was more than just the way he said horrible things - over 100 counts of murder, with complete and utter truth.

"Y/n."

Dazai looked back at you with a solem look. There were so many emotions in your head, that you could only focus on the words that had come out of his mouth.

"I love you. Don't forget that, okay?"

Abruptly, you felt him pry your fingers off of his jacket, and look back to the Hunting Dog who had arrested him.

"There's no chance of escaping you, is there?"

"Even if you're hiding in the crowd, I would just kill them. I can take liberties with human life. I can kill your darling too, if you don't start walking."

Numbly, you watched as Dazai left. As if it were a dream, you were stuck in place, unable to chase after him and tell him to stop and even explain how the hell he had gotten into this situation.

You hadn't even gotten the other man's name, not so you could curse him out for taking your love away. There wasn't even the chance to scream.

It was a horribly numb feeling, stuck there in that moment, watching as Dazai walked further and further away from you.

Sorry, had this idea for a while. I was gonna use this song for Jouno, then Nikolai, then GOJO but ended up being a depressing Dazai fic once again....sigh.

#bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x y/n #dazai x reader #dazai x you #dazai x y/n

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stxrrynightskies · 2 months

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𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

✩°｡⋆ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: r. akutagawa x reader

⋆｡° ✮ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: just some boyfriend headcanons with my favourite boy

⋆ ˚｡⋆ 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: first post, i hope you enjoy it!

✩ he’s the type to act like he doesn't know you in public (but he does it to protect you)

✩ pretends he doesn't care about you but would quite literally tear yokohama apart if something were to happen to you

✩ obviously, he needs a lot of praise and reassurance

✩ "who did this to you?" type of guy

✩ he gets a little insecure about your relationship. he knows you love him, but sometimes he wonders why

✩ always acts like he doesn't want to do all those cute little dates with you when in reality, he loves them

✩ he gets jealous sooooo easily

✩ the softest boy imaginable when the two of you are alone

✩ his smile is only reserved for you

✩ as much as he tries ignoring you in public, if he sees you, he immediately hovers over to you

✩ he'll always sit silently and listen to you rant about your day or your interests

✩ after a long night of work, he'd make his way to your house and slip into your bed with you and just hold you close

✩ loves being the little spoon

✩ sometimes, when you try walking away from him, he'll use rashomon to wrap around your waist and pull you back

✩ never lets his anger issues get the better of him around you

✩ the best part of his day is to fall into your arms and cuddle until you both fall asleep

✩ and if you're not a touchy-feely person, he'd be more than happy to just enjoy your presence

✩ rarely has emotional moments but when he does, he gets so overwhelmed and just wants to curl up in bed with you

✩ because he works odd hours in the mafia, sometimes you'll wake up to him making breakfast for the two of you, and sometimes he won't wake up until three in the afternoon

✩ at the beginning of your relationship, he absolutely hated physical contact because it reminded him of his days with dazai

✩ constantly afraid of messing up in front of you

✩ but your gentle manner let you bypass his walls

✩ would rather die that admit he's wrong during an argument (until realizes he's gone to far)

✩ you're always the first person he goes to when he gets any form of good news

✩ so good at painting nails (and doing hair)

✩ sometimes, he'd make you listen to a song and tell you "this reminds me of you." whether it's romantic of silly (same with memes)

✩ he loves matching outfits when you guys go out

✩ you better believe he's got incredible fashion sense

✩ absolutely melts when you play with his hair

✩ he has one specific (and unique) pet name for you and would literally kill anyone who refers to you by it

✩ secret hand-holding under the table when you're out with friends

✩ you guys have a son (it's a stray cat that akutagawa begged to keep one night on the way home)

𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃!

#✮⋆˙ jade writes #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs headcanons #bsd #bsd x reader #bsd headcanons #bsd x you #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x you #akutagawa ryuunosuke #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa x you #akutagawa headcanons

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jackiepackiee · 1 month

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Oh hey there! This my first time requesting you!

I have a request for chuuya nakahara and dazai osamu. I wanna ask that how would he be a as a boyfriend to a s/o who could control electrons in the atmosphere.

For dazai its how would he confess to girl who he admires for a long time but is scared to lose her, but she confesses to him before he could?

Thank you very much and I love the rule about angst without a happy ending i mean cmon life is tough enough already we all are carrying emotional baggage in some way or the other 😭😭

Love you admin, take care! 💞💞

Trying this again because I finished and tumblr deleted it ALLLL

I love science!

𝒟𝒶𝓏𝒶𝒾 & 𝒞𝒽𝓊𝓊𝓎𝒶 𝓍 𝐸𝓁𝑒𝒸𝓉𝓇𝑜𝓃 𝒜𝒷𝒾𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈- 𝓃𝑜𝓅𝑒

𝒯𝓎𝓅𝑒 - 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓈 / 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝓁𝑜𝑔𝓊𝑒

𝒟𝒶𝓏𝒶𝒾

Will ask the most annoying questions

“Can you make your body a metallic bond so when you’re hit by an enemy, you’re malleable. Oh! Can you make the hatrack an ionic bond so I can make his charges line up and he’ll explode!”

“Dazai… No!

Yall meet a work

He teases you, goes on missions with you, pranks Kunikida with you

But it’s not until your ability goes haywire and you’re hurt one day that he realizes he likes you

From then on, he hugs you when your ability acts up

Nullifying you and getting a hug

A win win in his book

Little things change

He does his paperwork, doesn’t drink as much, teases you more, and makes less suicide attempts

Though, he can’t confess

You’re too good, he can’t ruin you with his depression and violent past

But, what if you say no?

He thinks it’s a lose lose

What a dumb thing for such a smart guy to think?

He finally decided to confess when Ranpo tells him that it’s a good idea

(Ranpo, the world's greatest detective, can obviously tell you like Dazai and he likes you. Why not be the wingman for the new it couple?)

“Dazai… the entire agency knows. And I’ll tell them for you… unless you get me a snack. Yknow, I’m no romance detective, but love is in the air.”

So… he brings you to the Port

Wins you a cute little teddy at a game slot

He’s about to confess

But… before he can speak

“Dazai, I like you!”

You like him. You. So incredibly intelligent, strong, kind? He’s smart, but would’ve never seen this coming

He noticed how the ocean twists

You ability acts up and is causing the hydrogen and oxygen to disconnect

You’re practically shaking with nerves

So… he hugs you

Not a kiss… he would never rush such a perfect moment

The ocean calms, you ability nullifies

Now that you’re dating, the question are WORSE

“Did you change the atoms in my brain so I love you?” “One, no. Two, that’s not how love works!”

Brags to everyone, even if it’s annoying

Just adores you

Thinks he could die happy

Although, he’d much rather live to love you

Makes sure that all your missions are local so he can get to you incase electrons start buzzing around

Calls you dumb things, stupid science jokes, it’s a headache

Overall, so smart but sooo stupid

𝒞𝒽𝓊𝓊𝓎𝒶

Thinks you’re the coolest!

Likes to think your abilities are similar and you two have a connection

Also… a bit dumb

So he asks so many questions

What, he’s fascinated with you and he wants to know as much as he can

“Valence electrons? What?” “What do ya mean I can’t see em? Too small?”

Even if he’s technically the strongest in the entire Port Mafia, thinks you’re better

I mean, he can control gravity but you can manipulate matter!

Thinks that you’re a gift for all his years of hell and unluckiness

Even if you’re just a friend… for now

Never EVER lets you go on missions alone

Makes sure at least one of his trusted subordinates is with you

And if that can’t happen, he’ll make sure Mori gives Chuuya you’re a dangerous work

He’ll miss sleep to take your work, just so you’re safe

If you’re ever overwhelmed, he’ll float you off the ground

Makes sure that you can calm down

Maybe it’s the air higher up, maybe the scenery?

Or… maybe it’s his arms wrapped tight around you

He realizes during one of these moments how much he loves you

“Shh, it’s okay. You ability is stable and you’re safe.”

After asking Kouyou for advice, he’s ready to confess

Buys roses, wine, a jazz record, and a little stuffed animal

Knocks on your apartment when…

You open the door… looking stunning.

“Chuuya? What’re you doing here?”

A gorgeous red outfit, styled hair and makeup. He used his ability to float the gifts to the ceiling so you wouldn’t see.

“Oh… you look pret- I mean! You’re so dressed up.”

“Yeah… was about to leave.”

His heart sunk, although his cheeks warmed at the sight of you in such a beautiful outfit.

“Do you have a date?”

“Date? No, I don’t.”

What a relief!

“Well, what’s the occasion?”

“… I really like you Chuuya! I was gonna try and find you at work now!”

Oh woah… did he just die and go to heaven?

Gives you the sweetest kiss (It’s definitely his first)

Now that you’re dating, he spoils you

Remember how no one is allowed to put you in danger?

Before, he’d let other watch you

But now he’ll clear his day just for your safety

Tries to learn as much as he can about science so he can talk with you even more

“Damn it… electron sea? I thought we had seven seas already?”

Overall? Perfect 11/10

#bsd x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya x reader #bsd chuuya #bsd fanfic #dazai x you #dazai x y/n #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #dazai x fem reader #bsd dazai #chuuya x fem!reader #chuuya x you #JACKIEPACKIEESTORIES

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