#damn i miss journaling | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

celerydays · 7 months

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#damn i miss journaling #but my backlog and collection of daily ephemera bits is so massive im afraid to even touch it lol #journal #journaling #fountain pen #stationery #travelers notebook #notebooks #memory keeping #cursive #handwriting #cel journals #celerydays

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blackbackedjackal · 27 days

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there's cliche's and then there's intentionally leaving a piece vague but it still having meaning and assuming your audience isn't stupid so they can come to their own conclusions about how the piece makes them feel based on visual language

#that's what we did in art school #when you actually have to do shows and tell people in person your artist's statement #I like seeing how people feel and react to my work rather than care about the style or aesthetic or tropes used #it's the /meaning/ of the piece and I love how even though my experience is specific #it still feels relatable to others #in that moment where people go wow or that's so cool like #i had a guy run up to me once just because he bloboed a work of art I made #i love that shit #i miss shows but eugh pandemic :(#jackal's journal #my art historian would have a fit rn #her whole thing is Pompeii and she showed us how much enjoying and relating to things you love or find neat helps inspire you more #than worrying about how other people feel about you #like damn

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rexscanonwife · 16 days

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Grrggh...good morning everypony = w = I rewatched the episode of the ppg reboot where Utonium gets a girlfriend...

#jane journals #self insert talk #🔬 starkissed scientist 🔬#i woke up at 5 in the gah damn morning and MY HEADPHONES are gone so im gonna have to ride the bus w/o them >:[#hell on earth 10 dead 4 missing!!!#and i choose to do this before i go ajfjg #anyways this sucks #like im not bothered by love interests but this whole reboot is ass and the characters are badly written #but theres like....at least one or two cute moments where utonium is smooth with it >//<#it cant even get the FIRST THING RIGHT ABOUT HIM THO #in literally THE FIRST EPISODE he says that spiders creep him out and they basically just. not even ignore but contradict it entirely #for why? the purpose of this ep where the love interest studies spiders and turns into one ig #they could say that hes PRETENDING to like them because he likes her. but they didnt do that #ALSO why spider? why not werewolf? that would be hot #and the love interest is that bland brand of 'adorkable' thats so disingenuous #on the other hand i DO like spiders. and the way she talks to one and like treats it like a pet...yeah id do that ._.#and idk they always write utonium as way more harsh than he'd usually be especially with bubbles #he wouldnt tell her shes being SELFISH by not wanting to give away her last piece of popcorn to a spider #especially when she barely got any #maybe he'd remind her that its GOOD to be generous BUT NOT CALL HER SELFISH #but yeah....theres maybe a moment or two 😒#like when his love interest spoils a whole MOVIE for the girls and ofc theyre upset #but he holds her face and says 'everything i need to see is right here'...>//<#THAT was smooth #and idk they don't play with the idea of the girls wanting to break them up ENOUGH #they just write one fake email and its done. then spider reveal #it sucks maybe i shouldnt have started my day this way 😂😂😂#whatever hopefully work is good!!#and i always have og utoniom to think about 🥺👉👈💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘

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manicgoblin · 5 months

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Update: lied in the tags, did not journal yesterday, did not get stuff done, but I did after hours of pining and yearning at my desk/body doubling with friend, talk out my feelings before bed, and it felt good.

Work this morning at the new job. Feeling a bit better. We try, try again.

#personal #myself #period is nuking me #slept thru my alarm and missed therapy today but that’s okay I’m gonna journal and get thru work #got lots of shit to organize and do in my space #I love my alone time #and body doubling with friends while we both do our own thing #I might be suffering physically but damn it I won’t be mentally today

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crown-ov-horns · 17 days

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I was looking through my notes for Good Omens fanfiction, and realized almost every damn story includes Crowley having a baby.

There's the one where Heaven and Hell decide to use an angel baby carried by a demon as a diplomatic tool, leading into Crowley being protected by Michael, and them falling in love.

There's the one where she leaves her baby with Anathema and disappears, which triggers all the following events - from the search, to Aziraphale's trial, and everything else.

There's the one where she has to supply the new Antichrist, which leads to her and Lucifer falling in love, and her being crowned the Queen of Hell. (Well, this one is really two stories set in different timelines, in the second one the "baby" is like 27)

In the one inspired by a dream, she does have a baby eventually, but that's far from the worst thing that happens to her. Gabriel's treatment of her after is... How the Hell will I write this damn thing if I can't even think about it.

There's no baby in the one where she gets tortured with diluted holy water.

I see I have no storyline with male Crowley just yet... Fine, that's not true. I do have some thoughts for Crowley x Fem!Lucifer... It could include a new Antichrist, too. And, Crowley wouldn't be the pregnant one for once. But, dealing with pregnant Lucifer would probably be even scarier.

#diary pages #writing journal #fanfiction writer #ao3 writer #good omens fanfiction #good omens fandom #crowley #good omens crowley #lady crowley #fem!crowley #writers on tumblr #writer life #ffs what's with me and torturing miss/mr. snake #she's either pregnant or she's in some horrible situation or actually it's both #yes i feel damn guilty for doing that but i can't help it #in first two bullet points the dad is aziraphale but he screws up (without even knowing it) so michael steps in...#in the first one and not immediately as a love interest at first just as a protector #don't worry she's in on using the kid for politics and crowley know's there's drama #the second i'd rather not spoil because of the detective/investigation plot #hey but she chose michael herself she was supposed to be with hastur #in the antichrist one all is obvious and honestly it's one of those “good for her” stories for crowley #but in the time jump she is kind of riddled with worry for maxine fearing she'll burn out and so on #grr the dream storyline... the dad is gabriel and don't worry in the end she ditches him i can spoil that this story is so heavy #this story is the ugly crowing jewel of my frustration with crowley saving aziraphale over and over again #what she does to protect him here almost ends up killing her or breaking her it's... seriously no idea how i'll write it #i'm also worried people will think i'm romanticising it when it's supposed to leave the reader sickened like i am #no comment on the holy water thing rn it's a simple hurtfic that develops into a survivor - the previous one is survivor in the end too #i haven't given too much thought for the crowley/f!lucifer but it should be good #fr hell would be so frustrated she chose this moron as her king consort but could do nothing about it #her pregnant would be SCARY - she's terrifying already... well terrifying and to die for

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rosicheeks · 2 months

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i do not know if i ever sent this to you. i have posted it. i hope you like it Princess.

#uhhhhhm no you HAVE NOT SENT THIS TO ME BEFORE?!?!#I literally am speechless #I’m not super talky right now #but even if I was I feel like I’d still be fucking speechless #like I already said I love your writing 🩷#and it fucking BLOWS ME AWAY when people write about me or use me as an inspiration #like????????? what??????? me???????????!#I’m going to keep this close to my heart and look at it whenever I’m feeling down #I don’t remember if I said that already but it’s true #I need to get a journal or a cute box to put things like this in so I can just grab it and look through them when I’m feeling shitty #one thing I needed to say is the fact that you shared this with me now of all times??? is kinda crazy to me #idk if it’s a coincidence or if the universe/God/whoever/whatever is trying to tell me to go back into music and singing #not going to go into it too much but I’ve been looking at my life a lot lately #and I’m realizing I’m not getting any younger…. I know I’m still young but if I don’t do something soon -#my life is going to completely pass before my eyes and I really really don’t want that #I’m *finally* going to get mental help soon (long story but I have to wait a few weeks)#and once I’m actually mentally stable I can focus on what I want to do with my life #so I’ve been thinking a lot about my performing arts background and then randomly a get an email from a choir director I know #asking if I could please join the choir for their Easter performance cause they could really use my high notes #and she just kept complimenting me and it felt really nice ☺️#then when I went to the first rehearsal I sat next to this girl and we were singing a part and the first sopranos go up to a high A #and I can hit it easily but most of them couldn’t so it felt like I was going this mini solo lol #but she asks me what my range is and I told her that back when I trained I could sing queen of the night which I think goes up to an F6 #and she was talking about how impressive that is #and it made me think about if I actually trained and got back into it how good I actually could get #I don’t mean this to be like ‘look at me look at me I’m so good’#it just feels nice to have a little bit of a direction again #who knows if I’ll actually go down the music path again but it does sound damn exciting #I miss it with all my heart - I miss singing and performing and acting… I even miss music theory #anyway rant over and i ran out of space but thank you so much I seriously can’t thank you enough 😭🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

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silasbug · 10 months

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it's a feeling of victory and sadness to realize that my brother-in-law would've been proud of me for finally enjoying whisky.

#he's not dead or anything #we're just not in a good place. family feuds. pride. disrespect. all the fun stuff.#we got along like two peas in a pod #i miss it #only person that ever shared my taste in art and music so closely and it's nice to feel understood about things i couldn't show anybody els #also the first person that made me feel genuinely terrified for my (or someone else's safety) for the first time since i was a child.#but you know. i'll cherish the times we had. but when things no longer work out. they simply don't.#i miss my sister too. of course. christ on a cracker i miss that damn woman.#but i suppose i'm no longer a rug. not anymore.#here's to those two. i love you. you suck. i still love you. you still suck. maybe one day we'll be fine again.#this is after i have tried writing numerous journal posts about my feelings regarding the mess called family but yknow. simple is best.#but i'm burying the little bug still so desperate for family approval. cheers.#bug.txt #journal entry

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milkweedman · 2 years

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Man, my doctor warned me these meds could make me clumsy, and i kind of shrugged it off bc im already walking into doors and walls constantly in my own home, but today after i took my meds (1 hour ago, i delayed bc they make me a very bad driver and i had a lot of driving to do) i have already fallen down 3 times and keep ending up on the floor somehow whenever i try to stand up. Its not great

#also shifted in my seat wrong and it immediately pulled my left hip all the way out #got it back in but like. ow #if im being honest i miss the blend of codeine vicoden and gabapentin that i was on post surgery #no pain at all and i had so much energy. i mean my brain was addled but its addled now too if we're being honest #the unfortunate fact of the matter is that i kind of. cant be present in my brain or body anymore #if im not on any painkillers then i kind of just separate and float away because the pain is so unending and horrible #if im on painkillers that actually work (which always end up being the kind that addle the brain) then. yknow. im floaty #damned if you do and damned if you dont #before the chronic pain got as bad my ptsd was just sort of tearing thru me 24/7 so i used a lot of drugs #to separate from that as well #i dont think my ptsd is any better rly i think the physical stuff just eclipses it #i am full up on physical anguish and misery so there is no room for the psychological anguish and misery #or at least that is my guess #sorry for the rambles i tend to treat this blog as part journal tbh #chronic illness

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creatediana · 2 years

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“Self Portrait as I” by Ae Hee Lee, published in The New England Review Volume 41, No. 4 (2020)

Ae Hee Lee was born in South Korea and raised in Peru. She received her MFA from the University of Notre Dame and is a PhD candidate in Literature and Creative Writing at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Her poetry has been published or is forthcoming in the Georgia Review, Southeast Review, Poetry, Pleiades, Denver Quarterly, and the Adroit Journal, among others. She is the author of two chapbooks: Bedtime // Riverbed (Compound Press, 2017) and Dear Bear (Platypus Press, 2021).

#influences #ae hee lee #new england review #poetry journal #literary journal #literature #american literature #twenty-first century #decided to use her biography from that issue of ner since i was already typing this directly from the book #i don't do enough influences from modern literary journals. which is weird bc ive worked for two and i try to read them from time to time #i used to subscribe to a handful but. i didn't have time to read them between reading submissions.#ive recently left one of them for a better opportunity doing freelance work. hopefully ill have time to get to the damn issues ive missed #catch up on my reading y'know

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lucyfordnamedhope · 1 year

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.

I dreamt of you last night.

It was nighttime and I caught a glimpse of you at some public place. We locked eyes and before we knew it we were nose to nose.

Next thing I remember we were in a bedroom, my lips on yours again and my fingers in your hair. Your arms latching around me, your hungry hands exploring my body. You inside me and us whispering delicious things to one another through hot breaths. Your face hovering over mine as I looked into those eyes I’ve missed. You caressing the side of my face…

As I opened my eyes and felt my heart ache again.

.

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saintedbythestorm · 1 year

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Time to start trying to get my medication renewed then... and fight the doctor or nurse or whatever about them trying to force tests on me... cause I can bet you anything they will do that again.

#i rather die from whatever shit they'd find in that damn test then let them check me at that place.#same place that gave my mother an excuse to abuse me and dismiss my pain. same place that had a prime opportunity to help me 2 years before #i actually did get help. same place that told me my extreme pains were normal and ... let's not forget...#all girls have them... when i fully identified as a guy... every. single. visit. i got to hear that..#also i love how all those visits... and ONLY THOSE VISITS... are missing in my medical journal.#i cannot see what they put me on. or when. or when they changed to a new medication. which was often.#some had serious complications listed too so that's fun.#just... fuck that place so incredibly hard...#I'm going to go buy myself unpacking just to calm down...#ryder speaking

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chadsuke · 1 year

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Books Read in 2023:

Liberated to the Bone: Histories, Bodies, Futures by Susan Raffo (2022)

Unflattering Photos of Fascists: Authoritarianism in Trump's America by Christopher Ketcham (2020)

Overdressed: The Shockingly High Cost of Cheap Fashion by Elizabeth L. Cline (2012)

A Small Place by Jamaica Kincaid (1988)

Why are Faggots so Afraid of Faggots? Flaming Challenges to Masculinity, Objectification, and the Desire to Conform edited by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore (2012)

The F*ck It Diet: Eating Should Be Easy by Caroline Dooner (2019)

The Road to Jonestown: Jim Jones and the Peoples Temple by Jeff Guin (2017)

Garbology: Our Dirty Love Affair with Trash by Edward Humes (2012)

The 100-Mile Diet: A Year of Local Eating (2007)

[ID: Covers of the aforementioned books. End ID.]

#2023media #liberated to the bone was. fine. if you're into healing i guess prob good and when reading i was like huh good community talk #but it left no impression on me #unflattering photos i read in like an hour it was fine #overdressed was definitely interesting but i think i would genuinely dislike the author if i met her irl #apparently ppl spend on average like $1.1k on clothes??? and this was ten years ago??? how???#a small place should be required reading. fantastic. i'm reading everything by this author #i listened 2 it on audio book and the audio book was GREAT #faggots so afraid of faggots was. like it seemed interesting but it was just okay?#it was a bunch of works so some were hits and some were misses #fuck it diet was a good read made me rethink some food things #has a lot of nice follow ups and some journaling entries im going to try to do #road to jonestown was an incredibly well written book about the tragedy. holy fuck. highly rec #garbology was solid and horrifying read and makes me want to really look at my garbage damn #100 mile diet i wasn't sure what i was expecting but i found it genuinely moving and charming and made me #look at how i eat and my diet and stuff #f slur

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rexscanonwife · 2 months

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Bro where did this wave of love even COME from I just queued a bunch of scout art for later and I wanna draw some nice sibling stuff and I'm thinking about how Engie calls him Jackrabbit and my partner calls me bunny rabbit waaahh 😭😭💖💖

#jane journals #self insert talk #platonic f/o #familial f/o #⚾️ strike out siblings ⚾️#<- a litfle smth im trying out. idk bonk brother never seemed satisfactory to me #so here we go!!#aaaahh i can feel a tf2 mini fixation coming on.#its weird that its so close to my rex anniversary tho like #im working on balance 😂😂 the queue helps tbh!! i post a wider variety of things #even tho i do curate it a little #ANYWAY!!!#IDK WHERE THIS LOVE CAME FROM!!!#i wanna draw us as kids and hanging out as adults and stuff #and i thought itd be kinda funny if i drew a little comic where miss pauling meets my s/i for the first time #like. scout is like 'hey wanna meet my sister?' and pauling is envisioning femscout and already rolling her eyes #but she sees junie instead who immediately compliments her and is all bubbly and sweet and paulings lesbian ass is all 😳💖💖💖💖#even just cause shes not around sweet genuine compliments from girls very often 👉👈#i may have a crush on miss pauling #damn scout sorry i stole ur girl 🤭🤭🤭#ougghh fuck i actually wanna think more about that

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bmpmp3 · 2 years

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OH ALSO a couple nights ago i had a dream and like 0% of it was messy and unclear but I DO remember this green man. he was like a lawyer or a doctor

#dream journal #he looks like my subconcious stole his character design from something. what is it #i havent had many clear dreams in a few months but i have at least been having dreams which is good #means im sleeping enough #but i do miss my narratively cohesive dreams #at least recent ones have had some interesting pieces of imagery on occasion #not sure if its because of the medication i went on a bit ago or not sleeping at the right times or maybe like #okay this is kinda wack but i have better dreams if i watch a lot of cool movies or read cool books #i need a balanced diet of entertainment in order to have cool dreams JHFAKJSLDJFKLDS #i havent been watching movies or playing video games or. honestly doing much of anything recently so i need to like #get on that shit. i need to watch a god damn tv show. so i can have cool unconcious mind TV #do you understand me. do you understand

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lesbiten · 2 years

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going thru life by asking wwfd (what would ford do) and then doing the opposite

#unfortunately as a socially inept nerd i find it hard to disagree with him #there was a thing i was supposedto go to at 6 itslike this big tradition thing but im tired from walking 2 miles for bad pizza #tradition be damned im tired and this thing is a mile away as well and started 20 minutes ago #im just working on the journal #i realized i missed two taped in things at the start btw =_=#i knew they were there it just slipped my mind #simon says

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agnetafrieberg · 2 years

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its ‘darling be home soon’ by the lovin spoonful hours and this One youtube comment always gets to me

#everyone (including myself) always associates this song w romantic partners but this one comment...... damn #DAMN #idk if its true or not #@ giovanni i hope ur daughter and ur family and u r okay #it hits home 2 me bc while i was inpatient my mother (born in 1962) wrote 60s/70s lyrics on her journals A LOT #and always added 'I MISS MY BABY DAUGHTER SO MUCH I CANT WAIT TILL SHES BACK AND I GET TO HOLD HER AGAIN' :'))))#our daily routine is far from being the best but at the end of the day im grateful for being with her

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