#cs future fic
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Fluffy Fridays—Chapter 175: Of Werewolves and Anatomy Scans
Fluffy Fridays—Chapter 175: Of Werewolves and Anatomy Scans
Pairing: Captain Swan
Summary: A series of unrelated, fluffy one shots featuring Killian Jones and Emma Swan and the relationship that makes us all swoon. Will contain both canon and AU stories. My contribution to Operation Rainbow Kisses and Unicorn Stickers (aka, my attempt to drown out the season 4 finale angst with ridiculous levels of fluff.)
Other Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31) (32) (33) (34) (35) (36) (37) (38) (39) (40) (41) (42) (43) (44) (45) (46) (47) (48) (49) (50) (51) (52) (53) (54) (55) (56) (57) (58) (59) (60) (61) (62) (63) (64) (65) (66) (67) (68) (69) (70) (71) (72) (73) (74) (75) (76) (77) (78) (79) (80) (81) (82) (83) (84) (85) (86) (87) (88) (89) (90) (91) (92) (93) (94) (95) (96) (97) (98) (99) (100) (101) (102) (103) (104) (105) (106) (107) (108) (109) (110) (111) (112) (113) (114) (115) (116) (117) (118) (119) (120) (121) (122) (123) (124) (125) (126) (127) (128) (129) (130) (131) (132) (133) (134) (135) (136) (137) (138) (139) (140) (141) (142) (143) (144) (145) (146) (147) (148) (149) (150) (151) (152) (153) (154) (155) (156) (157) (158) (159) (160) (161) (162) (163) (164) (165) (166) (167) (168) (170) (171) (172) (173) (174)
Tagging a few people who may be interested (Let me know if you want to be added or taken off the list): @sailormew4 @annaamell @flslp87 @emmateo26@bethacaciakay @ultraluckycatnd @ineffablecolors, @ilovemesomekillianjones @kat2609 @brooke-to-broch @missgymgirl @galadriel26 @the-lady-of-misthaven @charmingturkeysandwich @jennjenn615 @laschatzi @kimmy46 @snowbellewells @iamanneenigma @daxx04 @nickillian @a-rose-for-a-savior @gillie @britishguyslover @ginnyjinxedandhanshotritafirst @kmomof4 @linda8084 @golfgirld @captain-swan-coffee @searchingwardrobes @hollyethecurious @laughswaytoomuch @deathbycaptainswan @allyourdarlingswans @killiarious @winterbaby89 @facesiousbutton82 @therooksshiningknight, @lfh1226-linda @tiganasummertree
(ao3) (ff.net)
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Warning: This one’s so fluffy it may make your teeth rot.
“Yeah, so I’m having a lot of abdominal pain,” Leroy said loudly to the receptionist of the Storybrooke Walk In Clinic, which shared a wing of the hospital with the OB/GYN ward. “Feels like my bowels are all twisted. Maybe if I could empty them fully I’d feel better, but I’m all stopped up.”
Emma rolled her eyes as she sat with Killian waiting eagerly for their big prenatal appointment. “I don’t know about you, babe,” she said, squeezing her husband’s hand, “but I can safely say that is more than I ever wanted to know about Leroy’s bowels.”
Killian laughed, bringing their joined hands to his lips and giving her hand a quick kiss. “Quite so, love. Almost makes me long for the days where we were so busy chasing the latest villain, we didn’t have time for such mundane things.”
She chuckled, determinedly pushing aside the small kernel of insecurity his statement brought up–fear that Killian would grow bored with a mundane Happily Ever After and leave her for further adventure. She knew she’d never completely rid herself of the insecure inner child who’d never mattered to anyone and didn’t think she ever would, but she wasn’t that child anymore. She was an adult with many, many people who loved her and who she loved. She wasn’t going to let her insecurities ruin her idyllic life.
Inside, she felt the small flutters of their baby moving and kicking away, and she placed a gentle hand on her slightly swollen belly. She’d only just begun to feel their little magic bean, and every time she felt the sensation, it was like magic.
“Everything alright, love?” Killian asked, eying the way she held her belly with concern.
“Absolutely wonderful,” she said, beaming a smile at him. “The baby’s kicking!”
Killian placed his hand next to hers and was still for a moment, before shaking his head. “I do wish I could feel it.”
Emma reached up and cupped his cheek. “All in good time, Killian,” she said. “Just wait a few months, and this little guy or girl will be waking you up at night with their kicks.”
“You’ve no idea how much I look forward to that,” Killian said, with a bright smile. “Now explain to me again what is so momentous about this particular appointment today?”
Emma had reached the twenty week point in her pregnancy last Monday, and so today was the day for the big anatomy scan ultrasound. She’d opted for a 4D ultrasound, because she couldn’t wait to see her baby; really see it, beyond the grainy images standard ultrasounds provided.
Nor could she wait to see Killian’s reaction when he got to see his son or daughter for the first time. She had no doubt he would declare it to be magical, and come to think of it, maybe he wasn’t far off. Imagine being able to use sound waves to see your baby inside!
She’d had her first ultrasound at her first doctor’s appointment at seven weeks. She’d been alone that time–not that Killian wouldn’t have dropped literally everything to be with her, but because….well because she didn’t want to get her hopes up. They’d been trying for a baby for so long, and there had been a few times her period was late that they’d really believed they’d succeeded.
Only for the pregnancy tests to all come back negative.
The disappointment had been hard on both of them, and so this time around when she missed her period, when she started feeling nauseous and fatigued, even when she took a positive pregnancy test, she was afraid to believe. She’d decided to get verification before she got Killian’s hopes up yet again.
Her heart swelled as she remembered that day, Whale doing the ultrasound himself and showing her her baby on the screen and the strong beep of his or her little heart. She’d never forget the look in Killian’s eyes when she showed him the indistinct still the ultrasound tech had printed out and then explained to him what he was looking at. Happy wasn’t a strong enough word for it. He looked like a man who’d been given the greatest gift of his life, and the kiss he had given her afterwards, tears streaming from his eyes, would go down in history as one of the best kisses in the history of the kiss.
“So today’s the big day, isn’t it?” Leroy said cheerfully as he took a seat next to Emma in the waiting area. “Lot’s riding on this, you know.”
“....a lot’s riding on my prenatal appointment?” Emma asked with a raised brow.
“Well, yeah,” Leroy said. “Dwarves and I have a pool, betting on whether you got a boy or girl in there, the size, birth date. The works. I went girl all the way. Just a feeling. The winner of the pool gets all his meals at Granny’s paid by the rest for a month, so I’m counting on you two.”
Killian rolled his eyes. “We shall endeavor to ensure your meals are properly paid for, dwarf.”
Leroy shrugged and for a moment was silent as he watched Storybrooke citizens slowly filter in and out of the waiting room. “Lots of people coming into the clinic today,” he mentioned idly. “You know why it is, right?”
“I’ve no doubt you’ll soon enlighten us,” Killian said, putting an arm around Emma and leaning back in his chair.
“It’s that big forest fire up north,” Leroy said, “makes the air quality here really bad. You know it’s the werewolves that caused it, right?”
“The were….what?” Emma asked.
“The werewolves!” Leroy said. “Somebody was up there hunting them, and as everyone knows, if you don’t catch a werewolf the right way, they catch on fire and then become REAL werewolves. Gotta be what happened!”
Granny, who’d come in complaining of a sinus infection, slapped him upside the head before really laying into him as he continued to plead “I don’t mean good werewolves like you and Ruby!”
“Never a dull moment around here, is there love?” Killian asked with a grin.
She laughed along with him just before a nurse called them back.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Killian sat on his living room couch, looking down at the photo he held and feeling his eyes mist again. This was her; this was his daughter. The level of detail available on these 4D ultrasounds was incredible. Love like he’d never felt rushed on him yet again.
Emma plopped beside him, wrapped an arm around his waist and set her head on his shoulder. “She’s cute, isn’t she?”
“She’s gorgeous, love,” he answered softly, almost reverently. “Looks just like her mother.”
Emma chuckled. “She does kinda look like me, doesn’t she? Except for when the ultrasound tech first focused on her face and she raised one eyebrow. She was her father’s daughter all the way there.”
“She’ll be the best of both of us,” he said, running a finger across the image.
He’d had many singular and unexpected experiences since he first came to the Land Without Magic, but he knew that never in all of his days would he forget this day. He remembered the tech slathering Emma’s protruding belly with a slimy, gelatinous substance and then running a strange looking wand all around.
He’d been curious about the procedure, wondering how it all worked, but then his daughter’s image had appeared on the small moving picture box the wand was connected to, and everything had fallen away.
This was his child, his and Emma’s, the physical embodiment of their True Love, and she was perfect. He watched as she smiled, yawned, waved her arms around and kicked. She was an active one, their little magic bean, and she’d likely lead them a merry chase.
The tech had taken her time, examining their child and monitoring her progress. “Everything looks good,” she said. She’d gone on to give them the news that their little cygnet was a girl. She’d congratulated them, printed them out a few pictures from the scan and then taken her leave.
“You’ll spoil her rotten, Killian,” Emma said as he leaned down to kiss her, still overcome by the news they’d received, even all these hours later.
“Aye, that I will,” he agreed, “but the gods help any suitor who breaks her heart!”
“This kid is lucky to have you for a father,” Emma said, eyes fixed on their baby’s first picture.
“Not nearly as luck as she is to have you for a mother.”
“We are pretty great together, aren’t we?” Emma asked with a grin. “We must be if we can make someone like her.”
“The road has been long,” Killian said, “and far from smooth, but we’ve made it; we’re a family. This may be the greatest adventure of our lives, but I can’t wait for it.”
Notes:
–So apparently pregnant Emma is all I want to write about lately. I just really, really wish we’d gotten to see more of CS’s happily ever after!
–This story was inspired by real life events. My allergist’s office is in the same building as an urgent care center. Last week, while I was waiting the obligatory 30 minutes after my shot, an old man came in and went into way too much detail to the receptionist about his abdominal pain and bowels. He then proceeded to take a seat next to this woman who looked to be in her early twenties. He began talking….and pretty much never stopped, and the things he said….well, let’s just say, I wasn’t exaggerating Leroy for comic effect. This old man told the (very much uninterested in the conversation) young woman that the recent forest fires in Canada were a result of people hunting werewolves. He stated matter-of-factly that if people try to kill werewolves the wrong way, they catch on fire and then become REAL werewolves. (What were they before being incorrectly hunted? He didn’t say.)
–Naturally, this rather bizarre incident immediately left me with one burning question: How can I turn this into a CS au? And here we are!
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Very Belated Birthday Gift Fic: "Fighting Dragons with You (Time of my Life)"
This birthday gift for @searchingwardrobes is nearly a month late now, but I had promised it and really didn't want to scrap the thing. Even if it's just a bit of fluffy drabble, I still wanted to give Melanie something.
This little fic takes place sometime in the future of the happy beginning we might have seen post the s6 finale, if the show had stayed in Storybrooke. Part of the idea came from listening to Taylor Swift's "Long Live". I was driving along, and when the lyrics got to "I've had the time of my life, fighting dragons with you..." I could picture an older Emma and Killian still together and happy, looking back on all their adventures and happy they had weathered them together.
The other thing that prompted this was just that I picture you, Melanie, having such a solid, supportive marriage like I tried to envision for CS here. I haven't even met your husband (and sadly I have only met you in person once) but just from what I know, you two seem to have each other's backs so beautifully, and to be such caring and committed partners, like one would hope to find in marriage. So this was meant to be a bit of a birthday tribute to that too. (If that makes any sense!)
Okay, at any rate, here is this little one shot - I hope you enjoy it!! Happy very belated birthday @searchingwardrobes
**Also available on AO3, if that is your preference**
Summary: Several years down the line, Emma and Killian are still living their happy beginning together - reveling in every challenge as long as they can face it together.
by: @snowbellewells
As they came in the door of the house with the white picket fence by the harbor, Killian and Emma Jones were out of breath, disheveled and nearly stumbling with fatigue. Emma could tell easily just how exhausted her husband was, in fact, by the way Killian let the door swing closed behind them without even looking to see it latch carefully as he usually did, and by the way he toed off his boots and left them lying haphazardly in the entry without neatly standing them side by side before plodding straight toward the living room couch. She was right behind him though in the beeline to a comfortable seat, kicking her own shoes off as well and tossing her jacket at the hall tree without even blinking when she missed by a mile.
Emma had to chuckle tiredly as they both let out groans of relief when they collapsed onto the cushions of their well-loved sofa and sank into the cozily plush support, heads falling almost simultaneously to rest on the back next to one another. She let her eyes fall closed for a minute, knowing Killian was doing the same beside her without even looking. Once their breathing slowed to normal, she carefully tried to stretch her twingeing knee and flex her stiff ankle, hating to admit to herself the discomfort that she wouldn’t have felt even five or six years ago. From the corner of her eye as it flicked back open, Emma could see Killian wincing while he gingerly worked his shoulder, and smirked in spite of herself. At least she wasn’t alone in her aches and pains reminding her that she wasn’t 28 anymore.
Even though she was more than a bit winded herself, Emma couldn’t resist resting her head on his arm along the back of the sofa and sifting her hand through Killian’s dark hair, now impressively shot through with silvery-gray strands that somehow made him even more attractive, before she teasingly asked, “Feeling your age there, Babe?”
Killian snorted indignantly, as she had expected, before retorting smartly, “I believe I am doing quite alright for my age, Love. As you well know…” Somehow, despite both of their weary bodies, a twinkle came into his eye that made her flush immediately remembering just how true his words were.
Nevertheless, she hummed low in her throat, cutting her eyes to study him playfully, “If you say so, old man.”
Shaking his head, Killian wrapped both arms around her, pulling her to him abruptly enough to startle a surprised exclamation from her as he rubbed his scruffy cheeks against her neck and collarbones until she squirmed. “Why don’t we discuss this again when an actual, living and fire-breathing dragon has tossed you about?” he chided in a low rumble at her ear.
Emma couldn’t hold onto her jesting scrutiny of him any longer; she was simply too glad that he was alright and all in one piece, though out of breath and his clothes a little singed. She was tingling with adrenaline at their victory and the excitement of fighting together once again, but she would never take for granted both of them coming through a battle unscathed - not after how many time in their lives she has nearly lost him. Her hands came up to cup his face, as she raised it for their foreheads to rest against each other, affection flooding her countenance and replacing the playful mockery. “You’re right, of course,” she whispered sincerely against his lips. “Thank you for being there with me.”
As he was all-too-often able, Killian seemed to grasp what she was thinking - both the elation, and the rush of adrenaline that came from having missed the challenge of facing a foe to save their town, their family and friends, and the spark of danger that had always stoked their simmering chemistry when they faced it head-on and side by side. Winking at her in the sassily knowing way he had perfected long ago, Killian quipped, “Admit it, Lass, you’ve missed the thrill of chasing baddies and fighting for our lives, haven’t you?” His tongue did an obscene sort of run along his lower lip as he awaited her answer, and Emma felt the heat flush across her skin in response, even though she fought to deny his observation.
She reached out to smack his chest good naturedly, already realizing he knew her too well to believe her denial anyway. Still, she tried with a laugh and shake of her head, “Hardly,” she snorted, but then added sheepishly, “Well… maybe a little.”
“Aha!” he crowed, tapping the curve of his hook lightly to the tip of her nose as if to accentuate the point. “I knew it!”
“Stop,” she grumbled, not at all pleased to be so obvious in something that really wasn’t a great opinion to admit.
Killian, sensing her hesitation, sobered quickly and gathered her closer to his chest. “Ah, Love, don’t you worry,” he murmured low against the sensitive soft skin of her shoulder, his words a whispered secret for her alone. “You ought to know I won’t tell another soul. Besides,” here he pulled away just enough to waggle his brows ridiculously at her, making her stomach heat and tingle just as it had the very first time he’d done it - when they were still on opposite sides in another realm and she hadn’t known what to do with the reaction her body already had to him, with or without her conscious permission. “Dashing rapscallion, remember? I’m having the time of my life being back in action. Wouldn’t trade it for anything, dragons and all.”
Emma huffed disbelievingly, amused despite her protests at his words, knowing that as crazy and reckless as it sounded, he meant them completely. And she agreed with him in every fiber of her being - from the Queen of Hearts, to a gigantic snow monster, the Lord of the Dead himself, Peter Pan, and Rumplestiltskin - his having her back had made all the difference. Not just facing fairy tale villains, but in facing down health scares, sheriff re-elections, Henry heading off for college, and the truth of growing older, all of it was made into an adventure because he was with her on the journey.
Studying his face, the creases of crow’s feet accentuating his adoring smile, the curve of his irresistible lips, and the wide open blue of his eyes, Emma still had to pause a moment in wonder. How had a woman to whom no one had ever paid any attention, whom most had never even noticed - whom the one who had, hadn’t hesitated to leave behind - a lost little girl no one had ever wanted - found her way to a life and a union like this? Even after years together, she and Killian were more bonded than ever, even their differences and struggles made them more fiercely devoted as time somehow hurried on. She had found her way into the life she’d always wished for on those sad blue star candles each lonely birthday for years on end. Though she had fought him every step of the way, when she had finally let Killian in, he had more than kept his word; once he’d won her heart, she had ceased to be alone in the world.
“You know it’s true, Emma,” he pressed, the smile on his face clearly seeing and understanding her fond, amazed thoughts.
Smiling back, Emma could only reply hoarsely, “You know, you crazy pirate, as hard as it is for me, I believe you.”
Pressing his lips to her forehead, Killian chuckled - as pleased at her admission and all that they had built as she was. “Even in peace time, wherever we are, Swan, there is never a dull moment with you.”
Tagging a few who might enjoy: @searchingwardrobes @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @laschatzi @whimsicallyenchantedrose @jrob64 @apiratewhopines @teamhook @revanmeetra87 @optomisticgirl @tiganasummertree @kazoosandfannypacks @booksteaandtoomuchtv @anmylica @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @stahlop @bluewildcatfanatic @gingerchangeling @gingerpolyglot @lfh1226-linda @xsajx @spartanguard @therooksshiningknight @elizabeethan @the-darkdragonfly @donteattheappleshook @ineffablecolors @drowned-dreamer @wefoundloveunderthelight
#cs birthday fic#cs one shot#cs future fluff fic#fighting dragons with you (time of my life)#birthday fic#happy belated birthday @searchingwardrobes
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what y’all think eren’s favorite sassy song is? i’m talking he be doing his lil head bops and waving his hands. sticking his tongue out n rolling his eyes.
#☆. mocha talks#i think it’s way 2 sexy by drake & future lmaoo#gotta vote on this cs it’s going in a fic where he’s doing exactly this
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also just remembered that i have like, at least 3 fics that im planning to write once i finish CS in that universe which i had forgotten about? because for a while i was planning on like, just finishing CS and then moving on to other fandom content, but CS barely feels like fandom content anymore its just my little guys so. i think i finish the main fic and then i go into like, writing other fandom stuff and then also CS oneshots
#nightmare.cough-syrup#because I'm doing a fic with cs!Wilbur and cs!Techno still#and then I have the fun halloween oneshot#and then i think I wanted to do something involving their futures but I haven't thought it out a ton#i might drop that its more that i just have a lot of thoughts about what happens post CS so#at some point i might go into it or i could just talk about it here when alls said and done
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Your drawing of Heartache looks amazing! I really love the colors!! Do you think Heartache and Kei would get along?
-Anon 1
oh hey Anon 1! thank u for visiting my humble blog, truly u have revolutionised the cs oc industry + kept my brainrot strong etc etc MOVING ON
Ooooh, nice question. I don't really know! From what I've read of Heart Ache, she sympathises with Carmen, at least to some extent. Kei, on the other hand, is all Crime And Murder™ (until the Inevitable Change Of Heart, that is!)
I felt like with the way I modeled Kei's character, she would get along good enough with Paper Star until I remembered they were both japanese and then I was like NO NOT LIKE THAT. They still get along well though.
But back to your original question! I feel like not at first, since Kei just wouldn't understand why Amelia feels stealing is wrong, but warm up to her eventually as she starts to see her point (hey, maybe Amelia even unconsciously aids in her redemption) and maybe even help her escape VILE?
As for how Amelia feels about Kei, you'll have to ask @carmensandiegowritinngs!
#im not calling her shadow bc it reminds me too much of sonic but if in the future i write a fic. she will be referred to as shadow#if its pre redemption ofc#kei cs#amelia/heart ache#heart ache/amelia#carmen sandiego oc#carmen sandiego netflix#carmen sandiego 2019#carmen sandeigo 2019#cs oc#carmen sandeigo netflix#carmen sandiego
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A New Beginning With You | Lee Juyeon
SUMMARY: it has been a couple of years since you and your childhood best friend, Juyeon, went on your separate ways. Years later, you were given the opportunity to return to Seoul to pursue a new career, only to find out that your new employer is the one you have been dreading to see. Will you toss away all of the emotions again, or will you finally come to terms and fix this broken relationship with him?
PAIRING: ceo!Juyeon x f!reader
GENRE: office au, ex-childhood friends to lovers, coming of age, angst, fluff
WARNINGS: nc-17, slow-burn, this is pretty angsty ngl 😭, betrayal, several heart wrenching moments (it takes a while for both Juyeon and reader to figure out their emotions), language (one curse word), miscommunication, alcohol consumption, reader gets drunk a couple of times, several heated arguments, petnames (princess, sweetheart), kissing
WORD COUNT: 15,466
A/N: here is my submission for deoboyznet's holiday exchange event!! boo @cloverdaisies i'm your secret santa 🎅👀 ngl i did struggle with the prompts that you gave mainly cs i don't usually read/watch coming of age works so i hope i did this fic justice 🥹🥹🥹 big big shoutout to @momhwa-agenda for choosing the banner, also helping me to beta read (along with @from-izzy @juyeonszn) sending my unending kisses and hugs to all of you 😘💕
Seven years ago
“What do you mean you’re leaving?”
It all just felt so sudden, and you weren’t sure if you were hallucinating as you heard those words that came out from the mouth of your best friend for the past seventeen years. You both have made a promise to one another since you both were in kindergarten that no matter how big or small the situation may be, you both will always have each other’s backs and that no secrets were to be kept from one another, even if they may feel like you have been punched right into the face during the aftermath of it all.
Or that was what you thought.
“Y/N…I had no control over anything…you do know how my father often has to travel across the globe for his job—”
“But that doesn’t change the fact that you decided to keep it a secret from me when you first discovered that you were potentially going to follow your father’s footsteps for his company.”
From the beginning, you knew that Juyeon’s father worked at a relatively elite corporate company. Because of his status, he was often sent away to various countries to fulfill his job. It has been decades since his father has been in and out of Seoul, and he would often travel on his own not wanting to bother his family and wanting them to have a peaceful life here.
Never in a million years would you have thought that he would bring his entire family along with him as he starts a new chapter in his life in the States, and also get Juyeon to follow in his father’s footsteps.
You were on the verge of crying, your cheeks were heating up, and you had unintentionally balled up your fists, clearly failing terribly to suppress the anger and betrayal you felt.
“I just don’t get it, Juyeon. You have always wanted to pursue basketball. Hell, you have even sought a sports scholarship to get into one of the prestigious universities in Seoul! Why are you giving up now?” You huffed.
You could tell that he was showing some reluctance in his answer, and truthfully, he didn’t really know how to give you an answer, either. But he decided to reply in the most plausible and fitting one that was right for the current situation you both were in.
“Family has to always come first, Y/N. If it were for my family's future, especially my stay-at-home mother and younger brother, I would do anything to ensure my father and I can provide for them.”
You scoffed. “Bullshit.”
You took a few steps forward until you were merely inches apart. Looking straight into Juyeon’s eyes, you could tell he felt the same way and was also trying to hold back his tears.
“You’re not the Juyeon I know. My Juyeon, who has been right by my side ever since we were kids, would always go above and beyond to work for what he truly wants. He is never afraid to voice his opinion, and he would do anything to ensure his happiness would be fulfilled no matter the consequences.”
Finally, the tears that you have held back for so long began dripping down your face as you began to hit him simultaneously on his chest.
“What exactly happened to you, Juyeon?”
At the same time, tears clouded his vision as a single teardrop dripped onto his face. You could tell that something was holding him back from telling you the truth, if any, and his following answer would break you down even more.
“I’m sorry, Y/N.”
With that, a black car pulls up at the school entrance, revealing his younger brother rolling down the window to call out for his big brother. You could see multiple pieces of luggage lined up at the back trunk of the car, and they were ready to head straight to the airport.
With a glance back to signal to his family that he would be coming shortly, he turned to you to apologise once more before gently pushing you away to leave.
“I’m really sorry, Y/N. I wish you all the best in your future as you enter university and eventually the workforce.”
Just like that, Juyeon quickly sped down the stairs and opened the door to the car before settling in. Within seconds, his parents, sitting in the front seats, gave you a little wave before they drove away right through the exit.
Almost instantly, all of the built-up tension was suddenly released from you all at once, and you finally broke down crying at the entrance of your high school. What you thought would be a memorable, happy graduation for you both as you parted ways with your youth years turned out to be one sad separation from your best friend.
You both planned your summer holidays with one another before officially enrolling in university in the autumn. You were going to head to Busan for a five-day trip during the first month, going to visit your aunt who lived on the outskirts of Seoul to help her in her fieldwork (especially when she has a soft spot for Juyeon), and even going to visit all of the bazaars that were going to be held in central Seoul.
There were so many potential activities and times you could have had with one another, and you were even planning to propose to Juyeon that you wanted to be more than just childhood friends.
Because you have been having an insane crush on him since you were kids, and you realised it was love by the time you both entered high school.
Unfortunately, it was too late to confess your love to him, as he was now long gone, heading straight to the airport before he eventually said his final goodbye to his home for the past seventeen years, Seoul.
Maybe it was fate that you both were just not meant to be with one another; perhaps it was why his father had no choice but to bring his whole family with him to start a new life in the States.
For the first time, you cursed and blamed yourself for having such hope and planning a potential future with someone who was clearly out of your league, and you thought it had all been a waste of time since the beginning.
With that, the little needle-felted cat you have been hiding and made last night was released from your grips as he fell towards the stairs and eventually towards the ground. As you noticed, more tears kept welling up in your eyes, and you brought both hands to cover your face, not wanting to care about anything right now.
I shouldn’t have had so much hope. I was stupid enough actually to fall in love with you, Juyeon.
Present Day
“Oh, Y/N! Looks like your article just got published in the London Mail this morning!”
Your co-worker gave you a little pat on the back before he placed the newspapers right onto your desk, and it was clear how your article was published right on the front page with your name written very obviously at the right corner.
“Please, it was nothing. It’s what I do all the time,” you replied bluntly.
“What do you mean it was nothing? You just interviewed the rising actor of the month! That’s big news, and you deserve to celebrate it!"
“Please, it really is nothing—”
“Hey everyone, our department needs a little night out after work at the local pub! We’re toasting to Y/N’s big break in the news today!”
Your co-worker shouted out loud, and eventually, cheers erupted in the office, everyone congratulating you and thinking about the potential drinks and songs they would go for once work is over.
You smiled and chuckled at the sight. You have always loved your job and are grateful to have met such a fantastic group of people in this company.
It wasn’t your dream to pursue the path of becoming a reporter in the beginning. Sure, you have always had a passion for writing, but you have always considered it your hobby. Thanks to your sister, who was studying abroad in Manchester then, who convinced you to take that leap of faith and turn that hobby into a potential job.
So here you were, living the best of your life. You followed your sister’s footsteps and went on to live abroad in the UK, enrolling in the University of Manchester, where you successfully graduated with honours the past year. Thankfully, you secured a place in the London Mail right after graduation due to your outstanding grades.
The move from Manchester to London was a bit tough, but you initially managed to pull through with your sister and her boyfriend's help. They were kind enough to help you settle down and stayed with you for the first couple weeks before returning to Manchester. You miss your sister’s presence, but you know that eventually, you had to venture out on your own and face reality as an adult.
It has been a year, and you have adapted to living alone. Often, things would get tough, but it was also thanks to you having such a fantastic team of colleagues that you were able to pull through it all, even when there were times you had to work overtime to fulfill all of the datelines that were pilling up nonstop, especially during the holiday seasons.
It wasn’t until recently that your article was accepted and published on the main cover page of the news, and that was when you finally earned your big break after a year. The company has deemed you to be one of the most talented youngsters they have had over the past decade, and they were more than happy to have had you as their employee.
Since then, things have settled down for you as you got a pay rise and had fewer hours to give you more time to rest well, mainly when you only survived with four to five hours of sleep daily. Now, you can eat your breakfast correctly and get a good seven to eight hours of sleep before coming every day.
Just as your co-workers were having the time of their lives trying to figure out the plans for tonight after work, your office desk telephone rang, and you picked it up hastily, thinking that you’d have another big scoop to write about
But it was from the CEO.
“Miss Y/N, please report to my office immediately.”
You were back home after that fun night out at your local pub with your co-workers, holding a beer in hand as you FaceTime your sister over the phone.
“Well, it’s a good opportunity for you, don’t you think, Y/N?”
“I’m not too sure about all of this, sis. Like yeah, it would be great that I would be back home, but still—”
“Hey, I know mom would be ecstatic to have you back in Seoul with her. And it just so happened that you have been telling me how you recently began feeling a little homesick. I’d say it would be great for you to take up the offer.” She reassured.
It was the moment your mouth fell open wide when you heard that you had been offered to be a senior reporter for one of Seoul’s top magazines at the moment, GQ Korea, where you would be interviewing potentially all of the current well-known celebrities in the country and getting a higher pay as well.
It seems that they have come across your contributions from the London Mail, and they were keen to have you on their team. Your first thought was grateful as your works were recognised globally, but also because you miss being home. But another part of you has already settled in the UK, so you weren’t sure if leaving now would be the right choice.
But now that your sister has given you some input, that was when you knew that it wouldn’t hurt to try it out, at the very least.
With one final sip of your beer, you leaned forward and gave your sister a smile for the first time since calling her this evening.
“I’m going home now, sis.”
It has been a week since you settled into Seoul, and you have loved being back in your comfort zone: the culture, the food, and the environment you grew up in.
Your mom was overjoyed as she picked you up from the airport, insisting she would take your luggage, especially when you have flown almost twenty-four hours just to get home. By the time you got home, your mom was already ready and prepared with all the dishes she had premade before your arrival and needed to heat them quickly.
You quickly took a shower before joining her at the dining table. You both chatted for close to midnight before she told you she would sleep ahead of you. Meanwhile, you decided to clean up your childhood bedroom to make space for everything you brought back from London.
There was this nostalgia as you entered your room; everything was still the same, exactly how you had left it when you left for the UK years ago. The same old blue painting on the wall, all your posters hung on them, even your favourite comic books that were still arranged nicely on your bookshelf.
You could tell there wasn’t a speck of dust in the room, indicating that your mom must have cleaned it occasionally. You couldn’t help but sigh, thinking about all the hard work she always puts herself through.
It took you a while to go through all your belongings, mainly because you were reminiscing as you looked at the pictures, books, and figurines scattered throughout your room.
It wasn’t until you came across a box tucked away at the corners of your room that you pulled them out towards the centre as you opened them up.
And god, you wished you hadn’t done that.
All the pictures and items contained memories you had with your past lover, Lee Juyeon.
You paused momentarily before reaching out to pick up the first item on top of the box: a picture.
It was taken when you both were in kindergarten. You were holding hands, wearing backpacks and little yellow helmets on your heads. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight; it was nostalgic and cute.
Right after that, you took out a pair of bracelets right below the picture. It was a friendship bracelet that you both made during middle school. It was summer when you recently discovered the trend of making friendship bracelets, where you went straight to Juyeon’s house across the street, practically dragged him back to your house, and got him to make one with you. You giggled at the thought of how Juyeon was so lost at the time, having to come to you almost every five seconds to tell you that he had either lost a piece or was having trouble threading the beads through the string.
When you thought it would all be good memories, you stumbled upon the one item you wished you would not have to see again.
The needle-felted cat you made for him on the night before graduation.
Unbeknownst to you, your hands began to tremble as you took the cat into your hands, staring at it as the memories flashed back: how you would give this to Juyeon and tell him that you were ready to be more than just close friends, up to the point of how he suddenly announced to you that he was leaving for good.
Slowly, you felt that your tears were beginning to well up in your eyes, and you quickly dumped all of the items back into the box and tucked them back in the corner, using a few items you had in your room, such as cardboard to block it completely out of sight.
You were not ready to go through all of the roller coasters of emotion once again.
Especially when deep down in your heart, you still had some feelings left for him. Even if you did not wish to admit it out loud.
You stood outside the tall building as you tried your best to fix up the blazer that your mum insisted you put on for your big day. With your handbag and laptop, you gave yourself a deep breath before mentally preparing yourself that this would be your new workplace from now on.
You looked to see the vast sign plastered outside the building: GQ Korea. You were definitely at the right place. It took you a few seconds to finally be able to take your very first steps into the building. Once you did, you were amazed at the astonishing art that filled the reception floor. It was a fashion and art magazine; after all, there was no doubt that the company's directors entailed such a choice of decorations to captivate everyone who walked into their building.
You walked straight towards the counter, where you were greeted by two ladies who were already expecting your arrival. Immediately, they got you signed up in the system, and one guided you to one of the fifth floors, where you would be meeting your new team and department that you would be working with.
As you were guided into the head of the department’s office, Ms Kim, who has been guiding and overlooking this particular department for the past five years, greeted you and made you feel comfortable instantly, which made all of your tensed-up muscles relax fairly quickly. She communicated well with you and, surprisingly, even shared some of the same ideals as you did. You were beyond grateful to hear when she mentioned that she has kept up with your works from the London Mail, and it was about time that the team needed someone like you.
Once both of you had taken the time to break the ice, Ms Kim led you to your desk just outside her office, where countless cubicles filled the entire floor. At first glance, you have estimated that there were about fifty employees who worked in this department. It didn’t take them long to greet you personally before you eventually made your way to your desk in the middle of the floor.
As you unloaded your bag of materials onto the desk and placed them in an organised manner, your hands digging through your bag finally stopped when you felt a familiar material. Instantly, you pulled it out to check what it was, and you were once again left speechless with what it was.
A picture of you and Juyeon back during your graduation from high school.
The only plausible reason it was in your workbag was because of your mother. You have never once told her that things ended badly between you both, and you have always shrugged off the fact that you were still keeping in touch with the man himself and that you both were still having a healthy friendship. You just didn’t want her to worry much, especially when she knew how much you both have been through, and she practically treated Juyeon like her own son.
As all loving mothers would do, she woke up hours ahead of you this morning to prepare you a filling bento box. She wrapped it with traditional cloth and placed it neatly into your work bag. At the same time, she probably put the little picture frame into the bag, hoping it would motivate you during work and decorate your new workplace.
With just a few seconds of staring at it, you looked down to see an empty trash bin that sat right beneath your work desk, and without thinking much, you immediately placed the picture right into it.
I’m sorry, mom. But I will not be needing it anymore.
Your first week of work flew by quickly as you easily got used to the working lifestyle. Seoul was your home, and it wasn’t hard to adapt back to the culture. In fact, you were grateful that your new group of co-workers could be on par with the ones back in London; they were all as great and supportive in helping you ease into the new environment. Your new co-workers even encouraged you to head out for a little drink at the local izakaya restaurant after work since it has been a long weekend for everyone, and you surely did enjoy the little company you had before heading home a little after midnight.
In terms of fitting in as GQ Korea's new reporter, it has been a thrilling ride learning about all of the entertainment biz that has been going on in the country. Since your forte was with celebrities, your head of department had assigned you the same, focusing on the rising K-Pop stars in the industry.
It has been a while since you kept up with Korean celebrities since you mainly focused on Western artists abroad for a couple of years. But as you kept up with the news and made sure to read the newspaper first thing every morning you came right in, you made sure that you have been kept up to date with all of the latest announcements and events that have been going on in the industry.
Today was a big day for you as Ms Kim had instructed you to head up to the top floor, where you would first meet up with the CEO for the very first time since joining the company as he would like to brief you through the details in regards to the celebrities that will be coming later in the day.
You thought it was probably some hotshot celeb for the CEO to personally guide you through each step regarding what or how you should deal with them. However, you weren’t too mad since you figured they probably did things differently here in Seoul.
As you finally reached the top floor, you were then escorted by whom you assumed to be the CEO’s personal assistant, who was already expecting your arrival as they kindly let your head department know that she was free to leave. The walk down the hallway towards the CEO’s office seemed a little daunting to you for some reason; perhaps it was also because you were meeting someone who is considered to be one of the famous people in the heart of Seoul—there’s a reason why GQ Korea is always on the top-selling markets.
As the assistant kindly knocked on the door and got a verbal cue from the other side, she took a step behind to let you move forward as you slowly turned the doorknob to enter the room.
Immediately, you notice how the entire office is decorated extravagantly, filled with tons of high-end decorations that suit the taste of the CEO himself. The wide, clear windows dominated most of the room, offering a panoramic cityscape view. A curated selection of artwork filled the walls, which added a little personal touch to the working space.
You didn’t realise that your mouth was wide open as you slowly took in the mesmerising view until you turned towards the desk, where the CEO was sitting on his chair with his back facing you, flipping through multiple documents in his hands.
As you slowly made your way towards him, your little footsteps made the CEO’s ears perk up, causing the man to stand up and finally turn to face you in person for the first time.
With that, your entire world seemed to pause for a moment.
What exactly was going on? There was no way this young man could be the CEO, especially when you were certain that he had left Seoul years ago and sworn that his chances of returning to his homeland would be close to zero. Your laptop in hand was slowly beginning to slip off before you were brought back to reality and quickly caught it before it eventually hit the ground.
That was when you finally muttered your first words since stepping into the CEO’s office.
“J-Juyeon…?”
It was pretty evident that the man himself was just as confused and shocked as you were; he practically stood there motionless, trying his best to make sense of the current situation.
“Y-Y/N? What are you doing here?”
“I should be the one asking you that,” you replied.
You were about to go haywire just from this interaction alone. It was hard enough for you to move on from what happened seven years ago, and it proved to be a lot harder than you thought when you came back a few weeks ago to see that all of the things that you’ve tried so hard to forget were now back in the comforts of your bedroom.
Ever since then, you had promised yourself that you wouldn’t want anything to do with Juyeon anymore, and you have decided to shut your heart regarding anything related to the man himself.
If only it were easier said than done.
Juyeon finally took his first step away from his desk as he slowly approached you, extending his hand as if he was craving your touch again. You could tell that he was desperate for a little physical contact, perhaps to prove that you really stood in front of him.
But you couldn’t, and you weren’t ready for any of that, so you backed off instead, giving him a clear signal that you weren’t on the same page as he was.
There was this evident sadness in his eyes, and he tried his best to hold back his tears as his eyes began to water.
“Y/N…I—”
“Miss L/N. You can address me that, Mr. Lee,” you bluntly replied before diverting your attention to the ground.
It was when Juyeon finally got himself together and straightened his posture before clearing his throat. “Very well, Miss L/N. I’ll quickly brief you on the events happening today, with the group of celebrities arriving in a couple of hours soon. Please, have a seat.”
“I hate him, I really do!” You screamed at the top of your lungs as you took the pint of beer in your hands before slamming it down onto the table. Your sister had to restrain you from causing a scene at the bar, trying to settle you down and handing you a glass of water to chug down your system.
Your sister had just recently came back to Seoul for a little vacation, and you immediately asked that she could keep you accompany down at the local izakaya restaurant that you often visited to let off some steam.
“Karma is really on your side huh, Y/N,” your sister teased.
“I-It’s not funny, sissy….” your voice began to slur, indicating that you were starting to get drunk at this point. “Why…of all people, why?! Why did it have to be him? As my boss! In my new workplace!”
“Look, it can’t be that bad. Who knows, maybe you might get another chance again with him.”
“That’s not the point, sissy….after what he has done to me? After all that I have done to try my best to move on from the past? This should not be happening to me at all!” Your voice broke as you began tearing up, causing your sister to pull you close into her embrace, slowly caressing your back to help soothe you a little.
Your sister was well aware of your history with Juyeon, especially when you’ve spent weeks, which eventually that turned into months of crying out to her over the phone since she was already studying abroad then, she knew how much the whole situation wrecked you badly, to the point that it has taken you months to start going out and meeting people outside of university eventually.
She was there when you were both younger, seeing how you developed a crush on him later and knowing you weren’t just childhood friends and had something way more than that. It was a shame that Juyeon left without telling you, and she would’ve gone to the airport to confront him about it if only she had been back in Seoul then. But deep down, she knew Juyeon as much as you did and knew that suddenly, something probably came up for him to leave the country like that.
As a matter of fact, your sister had always wished and rooted for you both to become a couple eventually; she had always been a firm believer of childhood friends to lovers anyway, especially when that was how she ended up with her current fiancé. Now that you both have reunited in the most unexpected way, she believes her theory about you both eventually having a second chance was stronger than ever before.
With that, she lifted her eyebrows as if she had just come up with a brilliant idea. “Say, little sis. What exactly are you up to at work tomorrow?”
You sniffled. “Umm…I guess I have a meeting with Juyeon to discuss the upcoming fashion show that is due to be set in a couple of months. Why do you ask?”
Your sister gave you a little smirk in return before cradling you like a baby again. “Oh, it was nothing. I’m sure you’ll have a fruitful discussion tomorrow.”
You dreaded coming to work today. The very first reason is that you woke up with a really bad hangover from last night, and you practically don’t remember much that has happened besides chugging down pints of beer from your system. It has been a while since you’ve drank this much, and most importantly, because you were upset over something. Otherwise, you were pretty much sober most of the time and always being the one to drag your co-workers home because they were far worse than you were.
And, of course, it was also because you hated the idea that you must come face-to-face with your so-called ex-childhood best friend again—this time, in an actual meeting. Well, in some ways, you were glad that it was only a meeting for a potentially massive event that the company had been known to host for years and that Juyeon would probably be able to distinguish between personal and work-life issues.
But still, you just weren’t ready to face him again, especially with the huge shock you’d received the day before. It was already hard enough for you to stay focused when Juyeon briefed you through your job scope and the meeting you would have for the day, trying your best not to let the tears drip down nor let the anger boil up.
However, you had no choice since you must also stay professional at your work. You just got back to Korea, and there was no way you would chicken out and move everything back to the UK again. Well, potentially, you could, but it wouldn’t be an ethical move to make.
So here you are, hugging your documents and laptop towards your chest, standing outside the meeting room. You had to take a few deep breaths before you could muster up the courage to turn the doorknob and enter the room.
Once you did, you noticed how the entire room was filled up, with most of your co-workers in their designated seats, sorting through the documents they would use for the meeting. You immediately diverted your attention towards the front where Juyeon was seated, and you hated how you had actually spent a good minute admiring his features.
He wore a simple beige coat over a white tee, paired with a pair of black slim pants with leather shoes. His black hair was styled all the way back, leaving a little strand of hair down on his forehead. He was busy flipping through his documents while setting up his laptop to project the PowerPoint slides for everyone to see.
You just hated how extremely good-looking he was right now and that there was a high chance that you wouldn’t concentrate on your work throughout the next hour.
And how you would actually want to run into his embrace and give him a little peck on the lips—
Wait, what?
As Juyeon finally lifted his head from the monitor and looked at everyone else in the room, it was a sign that the meeting was about to commence, and you quickly took the still available seat, the front seat.
Throughout the presentation, you tried your best to take in everything that Juyeon- well, your CEO, was trying to convey to his employees. It turns out that this upcoming fashion show would be one of the most crucial ones the company has ever done for years, especially now that all the big brands are willing to collaborate with GQ Korea and put out the best fashion show in the country.
It was quite a breathtaking look to see how Juyeon was passionate about his job, talking and explaining each detail to his employees carefully while making it enjoyable for everyone to learn or be part of. With that, you have noticed how every single employee in the room was constantly taking down details as quickly as lightning, making sure not to miss out on any small detail. There were moments when some would raise their hands to ask further questions, and Juyeon was more than happy to answer them, making the whole meeting seem less stressful but instead quite engaging in return.
There were times when you found yourself staring at him more than you should’ve, and every time he diverted his attention towards you, you would quickly duck your head down to look back at your laptop as if you were busy typing away on your notes.
Time seemed to have passed quickly as Juyeon finally wrapped up the meeting and let everyone off. In fact, the meeting ended right at the dot, and it was just past noon, meaning it was lunchtime for all employees. Everyone was quick to dash through the door, their stomach grumbling after using up all of the energy for the meeting. For you, you decided to pack up your belongings at your own pace, knowing that you would be spending your lunch back at your cubicle with the little bento box your mother had packed for you this morning.
As you are about to head straight for the door, the familiar voice stops you in your tracks, making you turn your head back to face the man himself.
“Miss L/N, I would like to have a word with you.”
Oh, god. It’s here.
Mentally, you were cursing out all the vulgar words you knew at the back of your mind as you slowly approached your CEO, trying your best not to let out the croak in your voice.
“Y-Yes, may I help you, Mr Lee?”
“There is a place that I have to pay a short visit, and I would like you to keep me company.”
Whenever an employer or the CEO would address their employees to keep them company as they pay a visit to a certain location, it usually meant that it was to meet up with a client or to survey certain products or places that could significantly be crucial for the company’s success.
But here you were, sitting in one of the fancy cafes that wasn’t far from the office, having lunch with your CEO, who was sitting in front of you.
Juyeon said nothing along the way as he brought you to the cafe, insisting that you sit down and order from the menu with no questions asked. As awkward as it was, you were about to deny his request before he looked straight down towards the menu, not even glancing at you.
You figured this was probably part of the job, and there was no way you would deny your CEO’s request right here and then, especially when it was working hours and everything was strictly business.
Once both of you have made your orders to the waitress that just passed by a minute ago, you diverted your attention towards the tablecloth, not wanting to look straight at Juyeon. However, his deep voice caught your attention, and you lifted your head back up after hearing the words you had wanted to say for the past seven years.
“I think it’s about time I told you the truth, Y/N.”
Oh, he called you by your name.
As you focus your attention right on him, you can see the sadness in his eyes once more, just like how it was back when you first encountered him in his office the day before.
“Umm…with due respect Mr Lee—”
“Juyeon is fine. We’re outside of work, Y/N. I would appreciate it if you could talk to me like we used to, and I will do the same,” he responded, slowly resting his arms on the tablecloth as if he were leaning slightly closer to you.
With that you took a significantly big gulp, knowing that the day you longed for was finally here. You were about to get the answers you desperately needed to know, but at the same time, you weren’t so sure if you wanted to know the truth right now, especially with all of the things that you have gone through trying your best to take him out of your life completely.
“Will you please give me a chance to listen to what I have to say?” He pleaded, looking at you with a desperate look in his eyes.
Your gut and mind were trying to tell you that you have done your best to completely eliminate him in your life for the past seven years. Would you give up easily and open your enclosed heart just like that? After all of the hard work that you have done?
Say no, Y/N. You have gotten over the guy. It’s all over between you two—
“Yeah. Go on.”
Goddammit, Y/N.
Immediately, his eyes lit up upon your words, and his shoulders slumped down a little, indicating that he has relaxed a bit.
“Oh, thank god, Y/N. I guess you were still the same old Y/N that I remembered—”
“You said we’re not employers and employees now, so I’d say cut to the chase with what you have to say while you can, Juyeon,” you bluntly replied as you crossed your arms around you.
In return, Juyeon gave you a little weak smile and a sigh before he eventually diverted his full attention to you.
“Remember when we got separated back in high school? During our graduation day, you—”
“You left me behind, Juyeon.”
“I didn’t have a choice back then, Y/N. But now I’m here to tell you everything. You have no idea how our stomach dropped when my father came home and told us that his company was about to go bankrupt, and we were on the verge of losing everything.”
So that was what happened.
“And how it was also the day my mother found out that she had cancer and her chances of recovery were lower than expected.”
“J-Juyeon…w-why didn’t you tell me all of this?”
“I wanted to. I really wanted to so badly, Y/N. Because you’re my best friend, and you deserve to know everything. But I just didn’t know how to, and I was afraid of what might happen, and I don’t want to put the pressure on you.”
“W-Where are they now, then?”
Juyeon had to take in a big breath before choosing his following words wisely, knowing it must’ve been hard to even talk about it publicly. “Mom became bedridden, and she’s still receiving treatment in one of the hospitals back in the States. Dad is currently running a small little shop near the hospital along with my little brother.”
“Then, why did you come back here?”
“I came back because starting a proper company there was tough. I figured there might be a slight chance things could work out here in Seoul. With the remaining funds we had, I eventually begged my dad to give his final trust in me as I found a way to make things work out. Luckily, we had some acquaintances back here, and they helped me get into one of the prestigious universities and eventually landed me a job here at GQ Korea. I started as a normal employee before I eventually became their CEO a year prior.”
It was then you noticed a single teardrop on the verge of dripping down his face from the corners of his eyes. Naturally and unbeknownst to you, your hand reached for the tissues placed neatly on the table, and you leaned in to wipe away that single teardrop.
Only then did you both realise what you were doing, and that was when your eyes widened, and you were about to prop down back to your seat.
That was until Juyeon grabbed your wrist, not wanting to let you go.
“This teardrop is nothing, Y/N. I’m so sorry you have to see this side of me. It’s not very cool, I guess,” he chuckled, trying his best to lighten up the mood a bit.
As soon as he says those words, your other free hand eventually finds itself on Juyeon’s shoulders, causing the male’s eyes to widen this time before you finally speak out the words that you have always wanted to tell straight to his face all those years ago.
“Juyeon, you need to start learning to put yourself before others. And I really mean it.”
“Y/N, I—”
“No buts. Even after all these years, you’re still the same as before, always prioritising others before your own. As much as you are the most kind-hearted soul I’ve ever seen, you need to start loving and giving yourself some credit,” you replied, adding a little pressure onto your grip on his shoulders.
With that, none of you said a word for a good couple of seconds, and you both just spent the entire time staring into each other's eyes as if you were conveying your messages non-verbally. That was until Juyeon finally decided to break the tension off by smiling at you, a genuine one you had consistently grown to love back then.
“So, am I back in your good graces now, princess?”
You were finally brought back to your senses, and you quickly removed both hands from him and sat down swiftly back on your chair, ducking your head down while giving a slight pout.
Juyeon missed this sight of you and was absolutely admiring the whole situation that unfolded before him. Just then, both of your meals arrived, and the same waitress from before gently placed each of your respective ones in front of you. Juyeon then gently placed the cutlery in front of you.
“Dig in,” he mentioned before whipping out the napkin and placing it right on his lap, before going in with his cutlery to cut through his steak.
In return, you swiftly picked up yours and roughly cut through your freshly cooked breaded cod fish.
“No one calls a normal friend princess, Lee freaking Juyeon,” you mumbled.
Just when you thought that would be the only time you would actually spend some time alone with Juyeon, it turns out the male had perceived that you both were back just the way you were when you were kids.
Since that day, Juyeon would actually make his way out to invite you often to join lunch with him at the same cafe, usually ordering a different dish from the wide selection of food on the menu. What Juyeon loved the most about the place was the ambience and good coffee, and he would always be seen ordering a big jumbo-sized cup of iced latte to bring back to his office to help get through the rest of the day.
You, on the other hand, were often stuck with more or less the same few dishes that you’ve tried, and you, too, would order your usual iced americano back to the office once you both were done with the meal.
At first, you have always tried your best to avoid having contact with him; that first lunch date was just a typical day, as you would try to convince yourself. But whenever Juyeon gets a little break out from the office, he would either send you a personal email or sometimes ask his personal assistant to come down to your department to inform you to wait for the man down at the lobby at noon.
You obviously could do your very best to come up with excuses to let him know that you’re busy with something or you already have plans to eat with your co-workers, but it seemed that the heart does what it wants, and it does not align with the signals that your brain is trying to tell you; which is to avoid and cut off this whole friendship for good.
So you were back to being the giddy seventeen-year-old little girl who often felt excited whenever you spent time with your childhood friend. Hence, every time you were taking the very last escalator down to the lobby, you would often use that little time to admire the way Juyeon would always lean against one of the pillars while swiping through his phone with one hand and keeping the other one inside the pocket of his coat.
But you did not want to admit it just yet, so you would constantly remind yourself that he’s only back for a while; it wouldn’t be so easy to open up your ice-cold heart again.
That was until today.
Just a few days prior, Juyeon had given you a ticket to visit this huge Christmas market in the town centre. At first, you stared at the paper blankly, thinking it was all a joke and he couldn’t have gone with you. But the male made it clear that he invited you to come along, which would be the two of you together.
Your heart was bouncing so fast that you were afraid it would eventually pop out of your chest as you slowly approached where you both were supposed to meet. You figured it best that you arrived twenty minutes earlier to compose yourself and try to understand your situation.
As you paced back and forth for god knows how long, you finally heard your name being called out from the far distance, and you perked your head up to see that Juyeon was waving his hands and running towards you like he used to back when he was a kid.
Once he finally stopped right in front of you, he began panting heavily to the point you were genuinely worried if this man was actually alright.
“Woah, what the hell happened to you? You seemed like you were escaping from a monster or something,” you joked.
“N-No…I went to get this for you…” Juyeon then hands you a brown paper bag, and you accept it while being all confused.
“Open it, Y/N. Have a look at what’s inside,” he insisted before resting both hands on his hips.
While giving Juyeon a weird look, you finally peeped into the bag and extended your arm into the brown bag before you finally felt something soft against your palms and eventually pulled whatever it was out.
Your eyes widened when you saw what it was.
“J-Juyeon…this…”
“Remember way back in high school; we promised each other that we would want to visit the Christmas markets, and how badly did you want this soft alpaca plushie that was way too expensive for neither of us to get our hands on? Yeah, I actually got it before the store closed like minutes ago.”
He remembered.
You have always been vocal about wanting this plushie for years, and there was no way your parents were buying it for you, claiming that it was way too expensive (which it was since it was part of a collaboration with one of the high-end fashion companies) and that you wouldn’t have a proper use for it. Back then, Juyeon couldn’t do anything but reassure you that one day, your wish would definitely come true while always giving you pinky promises.
And now, you were finally receiving your biggest Christmas wishlist item as an adult, and you couldn’t be much happier.
You laughed. “Juyeon, you do realise that I’m not a child anymore, right?”
“Who says plushies are only meant for young children? Why can’t adults have their collection? I’ll tell you I have a Build-A-Bear in my bedroom.”
“You must be joking.”
“Mark my words, Y/N.”
Eventually, you both started laughing out loud before you hugged the plushie close to you, activating the heating function in the toy to keep yourself warm; that was the main purpose that made you want to purchase this product long ago.
“Thank you, Juyeon.”
“Well, instead of thanking me, why don’t you keep me company for the night as we explore this Christmas market together?”
You smiled. “With pleasure.”
“Oh, Juyeon~ Have I ever told you how much I’ve admired your good looks? I’d like to think that your family genes are something else.”
After an hour or two of walking through the entire Christmas market and having too much fun going to each stall and trying out the different activities and food, you eventually stumbled upon one located towards the furthest end and sold various eggnog drinks. You have never tried this particular alcoholic beverage before; you were mostly used to the beers that you often get back in the pubs in London. However, Juyeon insisted that you give it a go especially for the Christmas season, and he eventually bought both of you a mug.
The initial taste seemed a bit off to you, but once the alcohol started kicking in, you eventually began to chug the whole liquid down as if it were nobody’s business. After some time, one mug of eggnog began turning into two, and then three, and finally, you were pretty sure that you were on your fifth mug by now.
That was when Juyeon realised that he should’ve stopped you by your second or third mug because now you were barely walking properly without his aid, and your speech began to slur as he linked your arms over his shoulders, trying his best to support you while walking you back home.
You both had to take the subway trains to head back to your apartment and during the entire time, you were clingy with your childhood friend, often wrapping your arms around him and giving him a tight squeeze while mumbling incoherent words. You caught the attention of all passengers and passersby, but Juyeon could only smile at how you looked right now.
He had never seen you drunk before, and this was a whole new experience for him. But he wasn’t too mad that you reminded him so much of your younger self; it was as if he was witnessing the seven-year-old you again in the present day.
After walking from the subway and, eventually, towards your front door to your apartment, Juyeon was about to take you up towards the elevator until you stopped him in his tracks.
“No Juyeon~ why are you leaving me so early? We still have so much more to see in the market!”
He smiled. “Y/N, I think it’s time for you to head home to get some rest.”
“But I don’t wanna~”
With that, Juyeon grabbed hold of both your shoulders as he bent down to be on the same eye level as you, trying his best to talk to you in your drunken stage.
“Y/N, I’ll see you tomorrow, hmm? We’ve had loads of fun today, and besides, your mom and sister would be worried sick about you at this late hour.”
Immediately, you lifted your pinky at him, which caused the male to stare at you blankly. “Pinky promise that I get to see you tomorrow, Juyeon-ie?”
Oh, how insanely adorable you were to Juyeon right now.
He chuckled before linking his pinky with yours, shaking it left and right slightly as if to seal the agreement. “I promise, we’ll see each other in the office first thing tomorrow morning.”
With the final pinky shake, Juyeon guided you towards the elevator and pressed the button. As you both waited for the elevator to come down to the ground floor, you suddenly broke off the silence, and Juyeon had to blink twice to know he wasn’t hearing things wrong.
“I’ve always liked you Juyeon…even after all these years…I never stopped loving you…” you sobbed.
Your nose was now sniffling, and you closed your eyes to let the tears drip down, not caring what Juyeon would think about all this. You were done trying to hold it back for so long, and you needed to let the burden that you’ve held onto for years finally let loose, and well, you were drunk at this point, so you couldn’t really control the words that slipped out from your mouth.
“Why did you leave me just like that…did you know how much pain it has caused…and how hard I’ve tried to forget every single thing about you? I even threw away all of the pictures and toys we’d had together because the flashbacks of memories would often play in my mind upon seeing them,” you were now crying, and you began to raise your voice a little.
“Why, Juyeon, WHY!!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, and immediately you burst out crying, plopping straight down onto the concrete floor. You hated how the alcohol wasn’t making you think straight and that you were feeling a roller coaster of emotions right now.
Just let it out, Y/N. You’ve suffered long enough—
Immediately, a warm pair of arms wrapped around you, and a hand gently pushed your head down to let you rest on the crook of their neck. You finally glanced up to see that it was Juyeon, holding you tight and resting his chin on the top of your head.
As much as you want to push yourself away from him, you can’t. You couldn’t explain why, and you have even made a pact to yourself that you wouldn’t want anything associated with him anymore.
But why did the saying the heart wants what it wants have to be so accurate?
You hated it, hated how you have always let your emotions take full control over your mind, not making you think straight, and often going against your plans. In fact, your heart ached so badly, and it was the same feeling that you felt seven years ago, right when Juyeon left you alone as he hopped onto his vehicle.
The only thing you could do right now was to let the stream of tears pour down and cry out to your heart’s content. You felt weak, and you could do nothing to push him away.
Juyeon couldn’t blame you, though, because how could he? Especially when he was the one who said nothing all those years ago. Now, he was seeing with his own eyes how much pain and trouble it has cost you, turning you into a vulnerable little petite girl who was crying her heart out in his arms.
With that, he moved his lips down to plant a little kiss on your head and eventually closed his eyes as your cries filled up his eyedrums.
“I’ll make it work, Y/N. I promise you that I’ll make things work this time.”
“Oh, good fucking hell.”
You were sitting on your work desk, bringing your hands to cover up your face. It was an absolute nightmare to hear from your sister about what happened the night before—how you got drunk and caused a little scene in public, which made everyone turn their attention towards you, how Juyeon was the one who brought you all the way back home, how you had a breakdown in front of him to the point you eventually fell asleep after crying your eyes out to the point he had to physically gave you a piggyback up to your front door and assisted your sister to plop you down on your bed.
If there was a nearby cliff near your workplace, you would do anything to ditch work and actually head straight up there to jump off from the embarrassment.
You were already not having a good time reuniting with Juyeon, let alone trying to sort your emotions out while seeing him at work every day and that he was your boss. But to confess your deepest thoughts while being vulnerable and drunk in front of him? That was not written anywhere in your books.
As you were spending your entire lunch break groaning over what happened last night, you immediately received a call from your desk telephone, and you quickly composed yourself before picking the phone up.
“Y-Yes, hello? This is L/N from the editorial department; how may I assist you for the day?”
“Good afternoon, Miss L/N. Please report to the CEO’s office immediately whenever you can.”
Oh, Jesus take the wheel.
The entire walk up to the CEO’s office was nerve-wracking; it was as if you were being sent to detention at the principal’s office because you messed up really badly. So many thoughts ran through your mind, thinking about how to apologise to Juyeon for the scene you had caused the day prior.
Once you walked into his office, you tried your best to devise the best phrase to start the conversation, but it seemed that Juyeon beat you to it, immediately handing you a red ginseng hangover drink.
You reluctantly accepted it while mumbling a soft ‘thank you’ before he insisted that you drink it immediately before him. Once you were done, he took the bottle away and tossed it straight into the bin, directly briefing you about the upcoming fashion show, now only a month away.
Now that it was back to business and you were no longer childhood friends, you tried your best to keep your composure as you listened to all of the details he was going through one by one with you.
Eventually, he decided to bring you along to meet up with one of the CEOs of the high-end brands on a trip to Seoul to discuss the plan in person further. Apparently, you have met with the CEO of Fendi, and it’s one of the brands that have been associated with GQ Korea for decades now. Somehow, Juyeon has gotten pretty close with the famous man himself over the years.
All of you met up in the famous Four Seasons Hotel for a pretty luxurious high-tea session while discussing the whole fashion show. It was mostly just Juyeon conversing with the CEO himself; you were mainly there to take down all the essential notes that both parties spoke.
Usually, it would have been his personal assistant job, but he insisted that you come along this time, saying it was part of your training. To be completely honest, you weren’t sure if Juyeon was the one mixing up between work and personal life issues at this point. All you wanted to do was to pray that this meeting gets over and done with quickly so that you could head back towards the comforts of your cubicle in the office and not face Juyeon for a while.
After an hour or so, it seemed as if the meeting was wrapped, and both parties finally parted ways for now, causing you to head straight back to Juyeon’s vehicle. Many people would think most CEOs would have their chauffeur, but Juyeon insisted that he always preferred to drive alone.
He was still the chatterbox that you have always remembered back in the day, how we would often come up with any possible topic that would keep you entertained; you both could talk for days back then only if both of your families didn’t stop you from heading back home for meal time.
There was only one problem this time: you were still troubled by what had happened the day before, and it was hard enough to even join Juyeon for this meeting with the CEO of Fendi in the first place. Now that both of you were alone in the car, things were far more awkward than they already were. Juyeon never touched on the topic from last night, but still, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him in the face.
Just when you thought Juyeon was about to take the left turn to head back towards the office, he took the other lane instead and drove towards the opposite direction.
“Juyeon, the office is the other way—”
“Let’s go somewhere, Y/N. Treat this as a little gift of stepping out of office hours for a bit. You’ll still get paid, though; don’t worry. I’ll make sure to inform your head department about your absence.”
What on earth is going through your mind, Juyeon?
It has been a few minutes since you have physically pressed yourself against the tank, slowly admiring various species swimming about minding their own business.
Apparently, you both have arrived at the COEX Aquarium, known for homing a large variety of rare species of aquatic animals and typically the best place for school trips, holidays, and even as a date.
Wait, scratch that last one—
“Didn’t you always say how coming here has been on your bucket list for the longest time?” Juyeon questioned you as he slowly walked up towards where you were from behind, slipping both of his hands into his cloak as he, too, began admiring the beauty in front of him.
That was when you finally diverted your attention to his face for the first time since hopping into his car this morning to head to the hotel. You were upset at yourself with how the feelings were the same as before: his pretty sculpted facial features, how good-looking he actually was, and how he could do the bare minimum, yet you would still swoon over the man himself.
With all that has happened lately, something told you this was more than friend behaviour. Sure, Juyeon might be trying his best to patch up this whole relationship you once had, taking you to places and recreating new memories with one another, but you weren’t sure if Juyeon felt the same way as you did.
That deep feeling within the pit of your stomach made you feel uncomfortable, and it was about time you finally confronted him about the one question that had pondered at the back of your mind for the longest time.
If both of you wanted to continue whatever was happening between you, you needed to get the specific answer first.
And it has to be now.
“Juyeon, can I ask you something?”
He hummed. “Yeah, go ahead.”
With that, you turned your entire body facing him and took a deep breath to figure out the right words to convey your feelings for the man himself. “I meant what I said the night before.”
That alone was enough to get his full attention, as he was now slowly turning himself fully towards you as if he was staring straight into your soul. You wanted to chicken out so badly and tell him it was nothing, and you both could just continue with the silence. But you have already come so far, and you know that this will only continue to haunt you for as long as you live if you aren’t going to address it now.
So you mustered up every bit of courage left within you, and opened your mouth again.
“I never stopped loving you, Juyeon. Even though we have lost contact for so many years, I never once stop thinking about you every single day. As much as I’ve tried so hard to forget about you, hell, I threw everything that reminded me of you into the dumpster or boxes and kept them deep somewhere where I wouldn’t even think about searching for it ever again, but to no avail.”
Your body began to tremble as you tried to calm yourself down by playing with your fingers. “I couldn’t, Juyeon. Every time I thought I have succeeded in getting rid of you from my life for good, the thought of you just somehow finds its way to creep back up in my mind.”
“I have no idea if karma sent me back here to Seoul, especially when my career was doing well in London. Imagine coming back and discovering that my new employer is someone I’ve tried so hard to forget about? The mixed emotions I felt then were insufferable.”
As you began to speak more, tears started welling up in your eyes, causing your heartbeat to rise rapidly. But you decided to press on and choke back on your tears.
“With all that you have done for me for the past weeks and months, I truly have no idea what on earth you are trying to prove to me, Lee Juyeon. Are you trying to fix our broken friendship? Or is it something more? What exactly are you even planning to do, Juyeon?”
Finally, you took a few steps closer until you were inches away from him.
“Be honest with me now, Juyeon. What exactly am I to you?”
There was this tense moment between you two, and neither of you said a word to one another. You were looking straight at your childhood friend with red, puffy eyes, and his eyes were widened, looking at you and trying his best to take in everything you’d said.
Something tells you that it was best not to hear about Juyeon’s opinions at all for the fear of rejection once more. If you had the power to dissect his mind to determine his thoughts and feelings about all of this, you would. Yet, you were still afraid of what might happen next.
As you wait for his response, you slowly examine how his shoulders began to slump, and eventually he tries his best to talk some sense into you.
“Y/N, I—”
“Ah! It’s Juyeon-ie!”
The both of you immediately darted your head towards where the voice was coming from, and that was when you noticed a female running towards Juyeon while waving her hands, and a rather old man accompanied her.
Who could it be?
“Saeran? And Uncle Lee? What are you two doing here?” Juyeon questioned as the two individuals made their way towards you. It was also then they both noticed your presence and the soft-spoken young lady was the one who broke the ice.
“You must be?”
“O-Oh, I umm—”
“She’s Y/N; she used to be my neighbour back in the days when I was still living in Seoul.”
Just a neighbour, huh?
“Ah, Y/N!” The young female extended her hand for a little handshake, in which you awkwardly return the favour. “It’s a pleasure to meet you in person finally! Juyeon has spoken a lot about you.”
Before you could even give a reply, it seemed that the older man whom you now know was his uncle, or rather, perceived that he was the one who managed to help Juyeon get a new start in life back here in Seoul, finally spoke and diverted Juyeon’s attention back to what they were here for in the first place.
“We had made a little appointment this afternoon, don’t you remember, Juyeon?”
“Oh, yes! I’m so sorry. It must’ve completely slipped my mind since I have been pretty caught up with work lately,” Juyeon apologised while slightly bowing towards his uncle.
“Not at all, Juyeon. I’m sure you must’ve been pretty busy with-” his uncle then diverts his attention towards you. “-a lot of things.”
You definitely felt way too uncomfortable at the moment, and you needed to get out of the aquarium right this second if you did not wish to be suffocated by all of the tension in the air.
Immediately, you gently removed your hands from the young female and quickly made a ninety-degree bow towards all of them.
“My humble apologies, it seems that I have disrupted an important meeting. I shall take my leave now.”
As soon as you turned your heel towards the other direction, you suddenly felt a pair of hands grab your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.
“Y/N! Wait, I’ll drive you back—”
“No, it’s fine,” you tried your best to smile at him. “I’ll just take the train located right outside the aquarium. Have a good day.”
You instantly slip your hands off his grip and dash straight towards the front door, trying your best not to look back and ignore the tears dripping down your face as you walk down the steps towards the subway.
It was now week two of cutting off all contact with Juyeon. It hadn’t been easy for you both at work and personally. In fact, you haven’t been doing great at all. It was as if you had turned into a living zombie, often feeling rather emotionless and drowning yourself in paperwork and avoiding contact with another except for your head of department.
Since Juyeon was still your employer and CEO, he has definitely tried all means of contacting you, asking to see if you were doing okay or trying to get you up to his office to talk about the fashion show, or rather, to talk things out. But every single time, you would find ways to decline his request as best as possible while respecting him as your boss first and foremost.
After a week of declining his invitations, his messages and calls eventually stopped coming a week ago; it was as if he had completely vanished for a little while. From what you have heard, it seemed that he had some urgent matters that he had to deal with, causing him to leave the office into the hands of his assistant for now.
It was finally a little breather for you since you didn’t have to put on this facade for the time being, letting you let loose for a bit. Going through sleepless nights throughout the past couple of weeks definitely has taken a toll on your mental well-being.
You told yourself you needed to hold it all in for another week. Once this whole fashion show is done, you will get your well-deserved vacation off work for one week.
It’ll be alright. Things will definitely work out in one way or another, Y/N.
It was finally the day for the long-awaited fashion show hosted by GQ Korea and the collaboration among famous brands around the globe. A swarm of people marched into the rented convention hall, filling the entire space within minutes.
You and your co-workers were busy getting everything organised and ensuring everything was in place. Since you were in the editorial department, you have been going about talking to all of the big figureheads from each respective brand, mostly just breaking the ice as well as interviewing them so that you have your necessary notes to draft out the proposal for the upcoming magazine.
Time passed quickly and it was time for the show to begin. As you sat down on one of the chairs, you made your way towards the far end corners of the hall, getting ready your notepad and trusty blue ballpoint pen.
As the light began to dim, Juyeon eventually made his way up on stage with a microphone, giving the guests a warm welcome and a little opening speech before the models began their runway walk. Seeing the man himself again was a bittersweet moment for you. As much as you wanted nothing more associated with him, your eyes just couldn’t seem to turn away from him.
It did not help that he was dressed up in a black tuxedo, with his hair styled up with his usual one strand on his forehead. He looked strikingly handsome, and you wouldn’t be surprised if he managed to woo almost everyone in the audience tonight. The way he presented himself was truly magnificent, and you could see why he was able to rise to the ranks of being a CEO at such a young age.
Tears began welling up in your eyes again, but you tried your very best to hold them back and mentally cursed at yourself, thinking that this was all professional work now and that there was no room for any personal matters for the night.
Once he made his desired speech, he eventually came down from the stage and sat at one of the front row seats, and that was where you could clearly see that the very same girl from the aquarium sat right next to him, along with his uncle and personal assistant. It shouldn’t bother you since they are practically family to him. It was none of your business, so why couldn’t you take your eyes off them?
Or rather, with him and the young lady who was clearly having fun whispering into each other’s ears.
It has nothing to do with me.
You constantly reminded yourself that whenever you tried to spare a glance at them, all while you were taking down notes from the show. It was definitely a challenge trying to stay focused, and there were a couple of times when you needed to close your eyes for a bit and take a few deep breaths to proceed with your work.
The show finished smoothly, and the audience responded with a standing ovation. You definitely felt a sense of accomplishment from that, too, given that all of your hard work over the past months had finally paid off.
The event wouldn’t have been complete without an after-party, so here you were in the hall next door—with all of the guests, models, and even staff alike having loads of fun chatting about with a glass of champagne in hand. Eventually, the DJ that was hired began to blast out a wide selection of music, indicating that whoever felt comfortable hitting up the dance floor was able to do so.
You smiled as you saw a couple of your close co-workers pull up some moves on the dance floor; it reminded you of loads of your time back in the UK—going to the local pubs and just having the time of your life drinking and partying with your friends.
Just as you were lost in thought, you suddenly felt a little tap on your shoulder, and you turned around to see that Juyeon’s assistant insisted that someone wanted to see you in person.
You didn’t think much of it since you already had a little bit of alcohol in your system, so when you finally realised who was the one who wanted to see you, panic began to rush through your veins, and you tried your best to make sense of the situation.
“Mr Lee? Is something the matter?”
You did not need to see the older male again, especially when he gave you a not-so-good first impression back at the aquarium. However, you had no reason to devise an excuse to leave; he was much superior to you anyway.
“Why, good evening, Miss L/N. I hope you are enjoying the party so far, and congratulations on the job well done. I must say Juyeon always excels in his work, no matter what obstacles he encounters along the way.”
The only thing you could do was flash a little smile back at him, as much as it made you uncomfortable. In the back of your mind, you have dozens of questions running through your mind, thinking about in what manner his uncle has any business with you.
Eventually, he began speaking as if he was chanting through a book, giving you a whole load of information that was a little bit too much to take in at the moment.
“It seems that Seoul life has been too tedious for you, don’t you think? Have you ever wondered about transferring back to London? Perhaps it would be a much better place for you to reside in.”
“Umm, with all due respect, sir, how did you know about my background—”
“Oh, I have always kept an eye on you; you were Juyeon’s childhood friend, after all.”
Keyword. “Were”
“With that being said, I have read a couple of your articles before from the London Mail, and I must say, they are actually quite extraordinary.”
“W-Why, t-thank you, Mr Lee. I really do appreciate them—”
“Speaking of transferring, the CEO for Fendi has actually taken quite a liking to you and your work. Even throughout the whole fashion show back there, he has been talking on and on about you, saying how you would prove to be a fruitful addition to his company.”
Just like that, Mr Lee began to step forward to hand you a little sticky note, which clearly had a number written on it.
“If you ever change your mind, give me a call. Besides, I’m sure you already know the answer deep within your heart. I will be waiting,” Mr Lee responded with a smug before entering back into the hall.
You stared back down at the note and eventually began thinking about what his uncle said prior. Suddenly, you started feeling conflicted, thinking this was the right place to belong. But it could also be his way of trying to brainwash you; you’re pretty sure you felt like a menace in his eyes.
You decided you needed some fresh air to clear your thoughts for a bit, so you headed out towards the balcony right up the stairs. You figured that an open-air rooftop seemed perfect for some alone time.
If only you were the only one who was planning to use the same exact spot that is.
Right when you reached the door that was ajar on the rooftop, you immediately recognised the two people standing before you, the female leaning in to give your childhood friend a peck on the lips.
You stand there motionless, and immediately, your blood starts to boil, something you haven’t felt in a while. The glass of champagne then drops towards the ground, and the shattered noises make the two turn their attention towards you.
It all felt like a sudden pause like time had stopped for a few moments. The both of you were staring deep into each other’s eyes, not knowing what to do or how to respond. But then, Juyeon eventually spoke to break the silence.
Before you could ever hear what he had to say, you were already dashing down the stairs, not caring that you had missed a couple of steps and that there were a few instances where you felt like you were about to trip and fall straight down back where you came from.
Not even wanting to let your co-workers know about anything, you quickly dashed through the front gates, running through the now gloomy skies that were bound to have a heavy downpour within a few minutes.
You should’ve remembered that Juyeon was the basketball team leader back in high school for a reason; no matter how fast you ran through the streets, he eventually caught you and yanked you back towards him, causing you to press up against his chest.
“Let me go! Let me go—”
“Y/N! Please! Let us just talk things out.”
You used up all of your strength and pushed him away as hard as you could before you began raising your voice back at him. “Talk? Don’t be ridiculous. You have done more than enough, and I have seen enough.”
“Y/N, no. You don’t understand—”
“What else do I have to understand!?!? You have done more than enough to shatter me over and over again, Juyeon! And to think I was dumb enough actually to think we could work things out again!” You screamed.
“Y/N…please…just calm down and listen to what I have to say…” Juyeon was now practically begging you, begging you just to stop.
“You clearly don’t understand the pain that I’ve gone through, Juyeon. You weren’t there to witness or experience it anyway! Why did we even become friends in the first place, huh!?!?”
God, cat’s out of the bag.
That last sentence was definitely not meant to be said at all; it was one of your deepest, darkest thoughts that you have sworn that nobody should ever find out about, especially when it is directed towards the person who stood before you.
“I hate you, Juyeon…I really do…for all of the pain that you have caused me…” you were now sobbing like a child, which pained Juyeon so much seeing how you were now.
With that, a loud thunder resonated throughout the city, and a heavy downpour began pouring down from the skies. The both of you were now soaked, and you mustered up the courage to say your final words to him as the tears began mixing with the rain.
“Please…I beg of you…just stop looking for me…or even talk to me at all…just leave me alone…that’s the last thing I will ask of you…”
“I don’t want anything to do with you no more.”
You slowly began backing away, and when you reached a good amount of distance, you turned your heel and began running away into the shadows, not sparing a final glance at your childhood friend who stood at the same spot under the pouring rain.
This is my final goodbye, Juyeon.
If you thought the whole week of you being a walking zombie in the office was terrible enough, clearly, nobody was prepared for the current state that you were in. You locked yourself up in your room and refused to see anybody, even your mother and sister.
You would constantly lay in bed, tossing and turning, even though it was hard to fall asleep. Since you avoided contact with your family members, there was nothing much they could do but place a tray filled with your meals and dishes in front of your door, waiting for you to eventually open up during times when you actually felt hungry and took them into your room to savour them all on your own.
You didn’t need anyone or anything now; you craved alone time and peace.
As you curl up in bed, sometimes even at the corners of your room, your eyes would often dart towards the sticky note handed to you by his uncle. So many times you have thought about it: what if life would’ve been better abroad and coming back to Seoul was truly a grave mistake that you have made? What if this whole decision was actually an awakening moment for you to realise that this is not where you should belong?
Days went back and eventually, it became a week. There were only a few days left before you returned to the office for work. The longer you kept staring at the note, the more motivated you were to take the risk and start again.
Every time you were reminded of what happened that very fateful night, you rationalised that maybe what Mr Lee said was true after all. Perhaps Seoul is really not your place to belong.
As the clock ticked, your desire to leave everything behind felt stronger.
You waited until the clock finally struck noon for you to finally stand up with your phone in hand, punching each number into the dial pad and bringing it to your ear.
Once the ringing eventually got through and you were met with a voice on the other end of the line, you took a deep breath before muttering the words you have been reluctant about all this while.
“I’ll take up the offer.”
“For the very last time sissy, I promise I will be fine,” you spoke through your headphones as you were on a video call with your sister, who was back home at your apartment.
“You have never done something so impulsive before, and given that you made this whole decision during your darkest hours? I highly doubt that you’re okay, Miss Y/N.”
“Well, I can assure you that the darkest hours are gone, and I’m now free and much happier. I can work with Fendi!”
Your sister sighed through the phone. “Working with big brands is one thing; what about your physical and mental well-being?”
“Rome doesn’t sound too bad to me, and besides, living in the UK for a couple of years has definitely given me the experience I’ve needed to survive back in the EU again.”
“Fine. Just…be careful, okay? Give mom and I a call once you’ve touched down.”
You gave a little flying kiss through the phone. “Don’t worry, I will.”
After waving goodbye on both sides, you clicked the red end call button and leaned back onto the chair you had been sitting on for the past hour. It was definitely a shocker to you that Fendi was willing to accept you immediately without having to go through any sort of significant interviews and that they were kind enough to even provide accommodations for you. At the same time, you work for them under a contract of two years. Frankly, it was a good deal and a steal.
You slowly stare into the digital clock on the big screen, which eventually becomes an announcement.
“All passengers bound for Rome, Italy, please head to gate 4B and be ready for boarding!”
Instantly, almost all of the people around you began standing and lining up as if they needed to be the first to get on board. You have always disliked and never understood why the rush and pushing against one another trying to fight for the first slot, so you often just sat back and relaxed until only a couple of folks left to board the plane.
Time went by quickly, and thirty minutes have passed since then. Now, only a handful of passengers are left to board. That was when it was your cue to get up and sling your backpack onto your back.
As you slowly walked towards the counter to let the flight attendants scan your passport and let you through the gates, you felt a sudden tap on your shoulders, causing you to turn behind to see who it was.
You didn’t have much time to respond until you were pulled in for a tight embrace; that familiar cologne was enough to make the tears well up in your eyes again.
“J-Juyeon…” your voice muffled.
“Stop. Let me just…let me do the talking this time. Please.”
You would have definitely fought back and started pushing him away once more, but it seems that you were either too taken aback or lost all of the energy throughout the past week to do so. Instead, you just stood there motionless in his arms.
“Y/N, I know it would be horrible for me to ask for forgiveness because I definitely do not deserve any of that after what I have put you through. Or even for another chance because you clearly gave me one, and it was my fault for not appreciating nor cherishing the moment when it happened,” he began stroking your head, his fingers running through your long, silky, soft hair.
“But one thing is for sure: I will not let you go this time. This time, I am going to hold you so tight that there’s no room for you to escape; I’ll make sure that you will forever be safe and sound in my arms, and I will be the one who is going to bring you joy instead of pain and tears.”
He then bends down to give you a little kiss on your forehead. “You mean a lot to me, Y/N. And I’d like to think you are more than just a friend; you’re my other half. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to move on, knowing that I will lose you again, and this time, forever, if I don’t stop you now.”
“So please, Y/N. I’m begging you. Please don’t go.”
With his final words, you eventually find your arms slowly snaking up his back and returning the hug to him. You weren’t too sure why you did that, especially after the tremendous pain you have gone through the past week in particular. At the end of the day, the phrase where the heart wants what it wants will forever remain faithful to you, whether you like it or not.
You sobbed. “You’re not going to make me stay that easily.”
“Oh yeah? You think I’m not capable of doing that?”
“Prove it then.”
Instantly, one of his hands travelled back up to your chin and lifted them, causing you to look directly towards his as he slowly bent down to interlock his lips with yours. The kiss was rather heated, as if the both of you had been waiting for this to come so badly. You couldn’t care less if you both were actually making out at the airport.
Juyeon cupped your face with both hands as he tilted his head for you to gain more entrance into his. His lips felt soft yet demanding as if you were devouring a forbidden fruit. In return, you run your fingers through his silky black hair.
After a few minutes, you both broke apart for some fresh air, trying your best to catch your breath simultaneously.
“Is that supposed to make me stay put in Seoul, Juyeon?” You teased.
With that, he merely replied with a little smile followed by a smirk. “That, Miss Y/N, was actually a pact you made to me. Treat it as a contract, if you will, that you are bound to stay by my side no matter what.”
“Ugh, that’s so foul of you!”
“You should know that I have my ways; I’m not the CEO of GQ Korea for nothing.”
The both of you eventually burst out into laughter while Juyeon finds both hands on your waist while you wrap your arms around his shoulders.
“Listen, Y/N. I want to apologise on behalf of my uncle and Saeran.”
“Oh, yeah. No big deal. By the way, is Saeran—”
“It’s not what you think it is.”
“It’s not?”
He smiled. “She’s my little cousin, and she often showers me with tons of hugs and kisses, even though I’ve told her to stop a million times.”
“Well, you’re lucky to have a cousin who loves you that much,” you replied.
“Yeah, but she’s going to have to learn that she can’t do that anymore because someone else is going to replace her job for that.”
As much as you knew who he referred to, you still wanted to drag this further. “And who exactly is that?”
“Hmm…maybe the contract before wasn’t clear enough. Should I make another one?”
You slapped his chest immediately. “Don’t you dare, we’re in public.”
Again, another burst of laughter was genuinely beginning to make you feel a lot better, even to the point of slowly healing all the scars you have had before.
With that, you needed to make yourself clear to the man himself.
“Juyeon, can I just be honest with you?”
“Of course, sweetheart.”
“I appreciate you doing all of this for me, but I just want to give you a heads-up that it’ll take a while for me to heal from everything completely and that I’m sorry if I don’t give you the exact treatment that you expect from me, and I—”
You were then silenced with another kiss on the lips; this time, Juyeon took the time to shower you with as many kisses as possible, making sure that each was worthwhile before breaking the kiss again.
“Y/N, I don’t care about all of that. You can take as long as you need, but just know that I will be here for each step you take, and I’ll give you support whenever you need it. I promise. I will not leave you behind ever again.”
As you both plastered a soft smile, you leaned in to rest your forehead against each other, taking in everything that had happened minutes prior.
“Here’s to a new beginning with you.”
masterlist
taglist: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @k-films @flwoie @zzoguri @kyusqult @tinkerbell460 @cheonsafics @sulkygyu @jaerisdiction @lngwayup @daisyvisions (join my permanent taglist here!)
#deoboyznet#dbn: holiday party#k-vanity#k-labels#kflixnet#k-films#the boyz#tbz#the boyz x reader#the boyz scenarios#the boyz imagines#the boyz fanfic#tbz fanfic#tbz scenarios#lee juyeon#lee juyeon x reader#juyeon x reader#lee juyeon imagines#lee juyeon scenarios#lee juyeon angst#lee juyeon fluff
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Take Me Home | Jay Halstead
⚠️ THIS IS A REPOST FROM MY MAIN BLOG @/DLMLUFICS.
Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader
Request: from @/andreahalstead24 for my 500 follower celebration over at @/dlmlufics.
Fic Type: Blurb
Prompt: "No one in this world, past, present or future, matters to me more than you do."
Warnings: None
Word Count: 642
JAY HALSTEAD MASTERLIST || TAG LIST SIGN-UP
Jay was getting tired of Y/N’s sudden and unexplained cold shoulder. He wanted an explanation for why she seemed to be ignoring him, only speaking to him when she needed to.
Unable to find her in the bullpen, he heads into the locker room finding her sitting on one of the benches, stuffing her clothes she had to get changed out of after getting blood all over them trying to prevent an innocent by stander in a shootout from bleeding out into her bag.
“What’s going on with you?” Jay questions, a frown on his face, confusion and concern in his pretty blue eyes.
“Nothing,” she says rolling her eyes as she stands up and moves back to her locker.
“Have you forgotten how well I know you,” his voice comes out a little more aggressive than he intended, but she’s been beyond frustrating since this morning.
“What about your ex? Or have you forgotten how well you know her,” she slams her locker shut and hooks her gun and badge on to her jeans.
This morning Jay’s recent ex-girlfriend had come by District 21 as a witness in their latest case. Y/N, along with Jay, took her statement. Jay being oblivious to his ex's lingering stares, subtle flirty remarks and the hopeful look in her eyes, only added to Y/N's already sour mood from her car breaking down on the way to the station.
“Is this what this whole cold shoulder thing is about?” he asks surprised by her remark but also relieved that she said more than five words to him that didn't involve their case. "My ex-girlfriend trying to be flirty with me?"
Maybe he wasn't oblivious to it like she thought. Y/N doesn't say anything as she zips up her bag and slings it over her shoulder. She goes to walk past him when he stops her, gently grasping her arm and turning her back around to face him.
"No one in this world, past, present or future, matters to me more than you do," he says softly as he raises a hand to her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb making her look at him. "And I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. None of them matter anymore, especially her. You're it for me, baby."
The look in Y/N's eyes softens as she listens to him, her arms move around his waist as she looks at him, seeing the love he holds for her. In his ex's defense, she didn't know about their relationship, and they couldn't exactly tell her while they were taking her witness statement. And he never flirted back, not giving her false hope that there was something still there between them. He had been nothing but professional and she had let her jealousy and insecurities raise their ugly heads, something that never happened often. Y/N knows she overreacted, and she deserves his frustration and to feel the guilt she's currently feeling.
"I'm sorry for being horrible today. I don't know why I let her get under my skin. Women flirt with you a lot and it usually never bothers me," she apologizes placing a quick peck to his lips. "And I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else too."
"Buy me dinner and I'll forgive you," he smiles moving his arms around her waist and pulls her closer.
"How about I cook dinner and you can have me as dessert?" she suggests.
"I may be tempted," he replies, looking like he's thinking about it.
She smiles kissing him, "Take me home, Halstead."
"You got it," he says letting her go and takes his hand in hers. "Also, women don't flirt with me a lot," he continues as they walk out of the locker room.
"Have you looked in a mirror," she scoffs. "You're a beautiful man."
TAGGED:@mrspeacem1nusone - @halsteadbrasil - @allisonargent144 - @cs-please
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A run-through
For anyone confused about different O/Cs in my fics.
(Reader will always be you and nothing else)
You:
Simon’s significant other
Civilian unless mentioned
Met Simon in a bar
Hooked up n fell in love
��Lovie” '
Thomas:
Nicknamed Tommy
First born son of yours and Simons
Named after his dead uncle
Future Lieutenant
“Bubby”
Emilia:
Nicknamed Emma
Second born
Moody teen
Daddy’s girl
“Dove”
Alexander:
Nicknamed Alex or Lex
Third born
First twin
Unplanned
Athletic/big hockey guy
“Sun”
Delilah:
Nicknamed Lillah
Fourth and last born
Second twin
Unplanned
Forces daddy to play tea party
“Petal”
James:
Emma’s boyfriend
Basically your fifth child
Super sweet
Sees Simon as a father figure
Soap, Gaz, and Price:
Best uncles ever
Amazing
Soap taught Tommy swears
Emma calls Price ‘pa’ for grandpa cause when she was 4, she thought he was her grandpa
Gaz lets the twins climb him like a tree
Riley:
Simon’s retired military dog
Protects the kids with her life
Scary dog privilege
Loves James to death
Likes to eat everyone’s shoes
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As, Bs and Cs - Chapter I
A CRM!Rick Grimes x OFC fic!
This is quite a lengthy chapter to hopefully build up the necessary context and foundations to their connection.
Masterlist
Next Chapter
The world had ended over a decade ago, the walkers consuming the population bit by bit until there was nothing left. The Civic Republic scrounged up who they could, their numbers growing to the thousands.
Still, the ones they had were not good enough.
They were civillians. Normal people who did normal things and didn't understand like the rest of them.
The Civic Republic Military was losing more and more soldiers with every mission, becoming overwhelmed with the number of walkers that roamed outside their walls. There weren't enough people to replace them - enough competent people at least.
In a decade or two, the CRM could collapse, and it would be no one's fault but their own.
They are the ones who had saved thousands of people who couldn't fight, when they should have looked for more soldiers in their place.
The CRM was weakening, and if it crumbled the Civic Republic and all its people would pay the price.
That was when Dr. Greer had proposed a... curious idea.
The Civic Republic was not without its faults, and neither were its people. They had their fair share of criminals who would pay the price with community service, but there was a small percentage; almost minute; who were worse.
Major General Beale had wanted them sentenced to death for their crimes, but Okafor had protested. He argued in favour of their usefulness - the skills they needed to commit the horrors they did was what was necessary in the CRM.
They could find use of them, he promised.
And it seemed Dr. Greer had.
Dr. Greer was a geneticist before the world had ended, with a long and profound career in foetal medicine.
A controlled birthing population - a programme designed so the CRM could gain the soldiers they needed without gaining too many mouths to eat.
The programme had only been a whisper for the last few years, a quiet promise and a tempting future. But the opportunity to implement it had never arised.
Until now.
The Campus Colony had been set aflame, and with it, it had stolen over nine thousand souls.
The perfect opportunity.
Now, all they needed were the perfect lab rats. A way to prove the programme would work - a method to rehabilitate criminals and give the CRM what it needed.
Major General Beale had wanted Okafor to be the first to try, but as whispers of Rick Grimes' rebellious streak took hold of him, he saw it as the sole opportunity to truly have control over the man.
Rick Grimes had spent years trying to escape the Civic Republic, all of his attempts ending the same - in failure. But he had grown daring, even willing to cut off his own arm so he could have a chance to return to his life before the CRM.
When the man had finally agreed to join the CRM after years of rejection, the ease behind his decision only made Beale grow more suspicious.
Rick had changed his mind so easily and had given up on finding his friends and family in a blink.
It made Beale uneasy.
So he would do what he could to keep the man tied to the CRM, even if it came in the form of a child.
***
"I didn't sign up for this."
Rick's voice was filled with fury as Okafor stood before him stone-faced, having recounted what Beale and Greer told him as he passed on the orders to Grimes.
"Yes, you did. The minute you said yes to joining the CRM, you said yes to every condition Beale makes."
Rick scoffs, a hand running through his hair as he paces up and down the sparse space of his living room.
His voice deepened to a growl, "this wasn't part of the deal. This wasn't our deal!"
"I know," Okafor's voice softened. He knew what was happening was wrong, but there wasn't anything he could do to stop it. Not right now.
"But you have to, Rick. If you don't, then someone else will. You're a good man, Rick. The others aren't."
Rick narrowed his eyes, growing sceptical of his words. He couldn't believe this was happening.
Okafor called it a controlled repopulation, a programme designed so the CRM could have the soldiers it needed in the future. But he saw it for what it was, and it wasn't anything good.
"Why do you care so much if I say yes?"
Okaford clenched his jaw, "because it's my fault she's here. And the least I can do is make sure she won't end up being partnered with someone that would hurt her."
"Your fault?"
A grim smile twitched on Okafor's face as he sighed and took a seat on Rick's couch, his head falling into his hands as his shoulders shook with morbid amusement.
"I brought her here. As a 'B' not an 'A'. She lost everyone because the men in our ranks knew no control, and I promised her she would find everything she needed here. And now what? She's a 'C'? A criminal turned into a pet for Greer and her people to study her like she's a fucking lab rat."
A bitter laugh escaped his throat as Rick came to a stop in front of him. He waited, hoping the silence would urge Okafor on.
"My men and I were sent on a covert mission - a retrieval. But one of the recruits got spooked, lit up everything around him as fast as he could. By the time we got him down, it was too late. You could hear her screaming, like it was battering your brain. We went to look for her and found her and her people inside a small cabin a few clicks north."
"What happened?"
Rick's voice was sombre, he knew what had happened.
"They were all dead and she was dying."
Okafor looked up at Rick, eyes wet despite the blank look upon his face - "I brought her back. Said she was a 'B' and spent every day after convincing her to join the CRM. She said no, of course."
He scoffed before he continued, "when she finally got citizenship, shit. Let's just say the world really didn't change much from before. She got herself a life sentence, would've been given death if I hadn't stopped Beale."
Now that sparked Rick's interest, what damage could someone do to have Beale want to sentence them to death. Or better yet, what hold did she have on Okafor for him to still fight for her after the supposed horrors she committed.
"This is a second chance. For things to go right."
Rick shook his head vehemently, "no. This ain't right. This ain't no second chance. This is worse than death. Worse than torture. Look what you're signing her up to."
"But it's the closest she'll ever get. Look, if this works, if the programme is successful and you give them what they want, she'll get her freedom back. Five years, Rick. It's five years and then she is no longer your burden to bare."
Before Rick could protest further, a bellowed voice called him from the front door, the blatant order being punctuated by three heavy knocks.
At the sound of Beale's voice, Okafor's shoulders straightened, and he stood up with a stiff spine as he looked into Rick's eyes, a hazy vision of pleading behind the stoic mask of an obedient solider.
"Say yes, Rick. Don't fight against it. They'll make you take someone anyway. Just let it be her. No one says no to Beale."
Okafor didn't give Rick a chance to reply, skirting past him as he swung the door open and stood at attention, saluting Beale in greeting. Rick followed him instinctively, copying his every move.
Beale nodded at the men to stand down, marching past them. Behind him followed a stern-faced woman, narrow-framed glasses perched on the bridge of her nose as she pursed her lips in distaste at the sight of Rick's apartment. She made her way towards Beale, nodding at Rick and Okafor before she looked over her shoulder and called, "bring in the girl."
They all turned to face the door now, the quiet jingle of chains growing more ominous as the faceless figure of Alara Hunter drew closer.
Rick held his breath when he finally caught sight of her.
She was flanked by four soldiers, their grip on her arms and shoulders so tight Rick could see her skin blanching under their touch. She was dressed in a thin vest, blue jeans, and socks. Her hands were cuffed, and so were her ankles, each one attached to a single chain held by the soldier on her right.
He couldn't help but furrow his brows as he lifted his eyes to track her face only to find half of it concealed behind what appeared to be a muzzle.
Her dark eyes darted across the people standing in Rick's apartment before flickering back to where Rick knew Okafor stood. He could see her throat move as she swallowed harshly at the sight of the man.
Apart from the chains and muzzle, she looked well. Rick wanted to scoff at the thought as soon as it entered his mind. Here she was, a young woman who had lost freedom, who was chained and tied down by the CRM.
But she looked clean and healthy and angry.
"Rick Grimes."
It was Greer who spoke, a pleasant smile upon her face that didn't match her demeanour.
"I believe Okafor has explained to you the purposes of this task?"
Rick clenched his jaw, turning to face the woman. He couldn't help but take a final glance at the woman standing at the door - Alara Hunter.
He turned back, catching Okafor's gaze before he nodded solemnly, "yes, ma'am."
"And so, I believe you are happy to participate in this mission of ours?"
Mission?
He wanted to spit in her face, call her vile and absurd and stupid. This wasn't a mission. It was immoral and unethical and torture.
Still, he held himself back.
He had seen the other men in the CRM: brutes that were all too happy to hurt instead of speak. Cowards who wasted bullets on flickering shadows. Men who had never truly grown up, and behaved like unsupervised children.
It wouldn't be fair to subject her to such a fate because Okafor was right. Regardless of whether or not Rick said yes to Alara, he would still be assigned a partner, and so would she.
He gritted his teeth as he nodded, "yes ma'am."
Beale let out a deep chuckle, moving forward to clap a hand on Rick's shoulder as he spoke, "this may be the best decision you've made, son. You are doing the CRM proud."
Rick looked over his shoulder once more, catching Alara's dark gaze, which grew hopeless as the seconds ticked by, and he wondered for a moment whether the people he left back in Alexandria would be proud.
"There are some conditions, of course."
"Conditions?" He turned back to Beale with a look of incredulity, eyes narrowing as he took a step back and shook the hand off his shoulder, "what conditions?"
"Given your... history here at the Civic Republic, Dr. Greer thought it best to ensure your compliance."
"The hell is that supposed to mean?" It was Okafor who spoke now, drawing forward as his gaze skipped between Rick and Alara, who stood motionless at the door.
Greer spoke now, her voice sounded pleased as she sniffed lightly, "we believed it necessary that your first few copulations were witnessed. Simply to ensure adherence of course."
Rick felt bile burn the back of his throat, a wave of nausea that just grew strong every passing second since Okafor first told him and Greer's plans - "you want to watch us have sex?"
"If you would like to put it so crudely, then yes."
***
The conversation hadn't lasted much longer than that, Rick unable to have much of a say apart from agreeing to their terms.
Okafor had shifted to meet Rick's eyes with his own pleading gaze, and Rick had agreed to Beale's conditions under a certain stipulation.
He had only wanted the first attempt to be witnessed, but it seemed that Greer was unwilling to go any lower than three. Rick agreed begrudgingly, knowing three was still better than the initial seven Greer had wanted.
It was under Greer's command that the girl was escorted to his bedroom, and Rick was unable to hide his look of disapproval and contempt as they looped her chain around a post on his bed. It made him sick to see such a thing, made his stomach twist and turn as he held back his anger with strained difficulty.
As they made their way out of Rick's apartment, Greer turned to him with a leering grin, eyes running over his form as she wished him luck and revealed that she couldn't wait for the performance he put on tomorrow.
Rick froze at that, tomorrow?
Greer could only laugh coyly, an expression that was unsuited for her ageing face. She ran a hand over her slicked back hair, adjusting her bun as she smiled in earnest - "tomorrow is trial day number 1. It seems our experiment started at the perfect time, Miss Hunter begins ovulating tomorrow."
Rick shifted uncomfortably at the fact, unsure of what to say or do. It seemed Okafor was the same, eyes darting between Rick and the closed door over his shoulder where he knew Alara had been hidden.
"I have left you with the booklet instructing you on how to care for your programme partner, as well as how to discipline her, should she become aggressive. Do follow the guide Mr Grimes, we wouldn't want to place our first participant in any harm."
Rick could only blink, hand tightening around the small handwritten booklet Greer had passed him whilst Beale's men were dragging a reluctant Alara to his room. He could only nod, unable to meet anyone's eyes as he reached for the door and pushed it shut.
The last thing he saw was Greer exchanging a victorious grin with Beale and realised that they believed they had won.
And for once, Rick feared they may have been right.
***
After Okafor had left with Beale and Greer, Rick's apartment rung silent. If he hadn't seen Beale's men drag the girl into his room, it would've seemed like nothing had ever happened.
But it did.
Rick wasn't sure what to do - whether he should just sit on his couch and finish his bottle of rum, or if he should go in and make sure his "programme partner" was okay.
She hadn't so much as twitched in the wrong way since they dragged her to his doorstep. Her eyes wandered. They darkened and misted and narrowed, but she never moved too quickly or pulled away too harshly.
Whatever she had done was enough for Beale to have wanted her dead, and for Greer to want her genetics to be passed onto the soldiers she was curating.
Rick glanced at the closed door to his bedroom, wondering what monster hid beneath the chained woman who stood in there. Then he thought for a moment of who he was before the CRM, before Alexandria. Of the beast he had become after months on the road, surviving day to day with his children and his friends- his family.
Okafor had said one of his men had killed her people, and Rick knew that if he had been in her position and everyone he knew and loved had died, he would want to destroy the Civic Republic and all it stood for.
It was in that quiet space of reflection that he realised she may not be the monster they all made her put to be. And if she was, she couldn't be worse than the one that lurked in the shadows of his being. The monster that was chained down by threats. The monster that was trapped in a community of faux civilisation.
Rick steeled his spine, and with every step he took towards the bedroom door, he wondered how exactly he had been dealt such a fate.
***
Alara Hunter hadn't always been angry. She used to be quiet and shy and cry at the smallest inconveniences. She liked to think an echo of that girl still sounded inside her, but sitting on top of a stranger's bed, her wrists and ankles wound in chains and her lips forced shut, she wondered how she had managed to get herself into such a predicament.
She wondered how she had changed so easily.
She wondered why she was always so angry.
She still cried. Of course, she did. But her tears were filled with fury, with hatred. Towards everyone - her father for leaving her when the world ended, her people for shielding her that night, Okafor for bringing her to this God forsaken community. And herself.
Alara was so angry at herself. For letting herself be brought here instead of fighting to die at her people's side, for letting herself get trapped with the very people that slaughtered them, for letting them take advantage of her and get away with that too.
And now, what?
A sex slave for the CRM. A breeding whore. A mindless cunt.
Not an A, never a B. Trapped as a C.
Her heart hammered with rage, her hands trembled and her eyes clouded as she struggled to breathe through the muzzle. Like a dog, they had chained her and tied her down.
She promised herself, with a soundless voice echoing in her mind, that she would kill them all. She would burn them to the ground and make sure they couldn't rise again.
She wouldn't let them win. She couldn't.
The sound of a door creaking open pulled her from her thoughts, and she looked up to find the man who had been assigned to take everything from her. To break her.
Beale hadn't outright admitted that was the reason he agreed to place her in the programme so easily, but she knew. She could see it in the way his eyes lit up with triumph when Rick agreed, how he grinned viciously when Greer was adamant to watch their copulations.
He thought this would break her, but she wouldn't let it.
She stared at the man - Rick. He was tall, tall enough that she was sure even if she was standing she would have to crane her neck to look him in the eyes.
And his eyes, she found she couldn't look away if she tried. Something hollow glistened in them, as though the man was no longer human.
An unfamiliar whisper spoke in her mind, like calls to like. And she wondered how much truth was held behind such a statement.
He was handsome, she couldn't fault him there. But he was a soldier for the CRM and that made him an enemy. It meant regardless of his pretty eyes or gravelled voice, he was just as bad as the rest of them.
Just as bad as Greer and Beale and Okafor.
Rick steps closer to her and Alara can't help but shrink away. It seems he expected her reaction, halting on the spot as his eyes soften. The sight did nothing but ignite a smouldering rage in her heart - if he felt pity for her, he should let her go. Let her escape.
For some reason, it seemed Rick was able to understand exactly what she was thinking, and he spoke placatively as she narrowed her eyes in his direction, "I can't take the cuffs off."
Alara rolled her eyes, that much was obvious. If he wasn't going to help her, then she didn't want to speak to him. She drew herself back further on the bed, her back pressing against the headboard as she turned to look out the small window of his bedroom.
The view wasn't the best, but it was more than the sliver of light that occasionally glimpsed through her cell. She felt the gentle touch of a setting sun heat her skin, she could feel herself flush under its soft embrace as she wondered how many years it had been since she had felt the sun on her face. The wind in her hair.
Her skin had paled in her dark cell, her tan from harsh summers in Georgia stripped from her when she was sentenced. It was then she decided; it had been far too long.
She closed her eyes and counted Rick's breaths as he stood, watching. The setting sun was a timer to the start of her doom, she heard Greer's plans and it was moving too quickly to put a stop to them now.
Rick's breaths were slow and steady, like he was trying to control his own wild beast as he watched her. She pretended they were the sound of a clock ticking, that time had slowed down to let her savour this broken freedom and make most of the hours she had left.
The bed sunk under an unexpected weight and the light warming her face had been blocked by a head. She kept her eyes closed pretending she didn't notice the difference- pretending her face didn't grow warmer under his intense stare.
"Have you eaten? It's late."
She kept quiet, hoping he would think she was dozing off and leave her be. But he saw the way her lashes fluttered, the way her chest rose and fell in quick successions as she struggled to breathe through the mask, the way her fingers twitched when he shuffled upon the bed.
He scratched the back of his neck, unsure of what to say or what to do.
"I could make you something to eat. I- I could make pancakes, Ca-" he took another deep breath, settling a quiet ache in his chest, "or eggs or something."
Her eyes burned as she kept them shut tight, thinking about when the last time she had a warm meal was. She turned away from him, nodding as she reached a hand to run through her hair only for the chain to stop it short of her shoulders. She gritted her teeth at the harsh tug, unable to hide her sniffles and the tears streaming down her face.
Why was she crying?
Was it anger? Fear?
Rick watched her for a moment as she tried to compose herself. She struggled with the limited movement and tangled chains, she screwed her eyes shut and her shoulders raised as she took deep breaths.
Rick couldn't help the apology that escaped his lips as he stood from the bed, nor could he stop the guilt weighing upon his shoulders at the broken laugh she replied with.
***
Rick hadn't eaten much since joining the CRM. Being forced to give up the idea of returning to Alexandria had taken a part of him, had broken it beyond repair. He rarely felt hungry anymore.
At most, he would force himself to eat some slices of toast so he wouldn't stumble during training. Or if he was truly lost in his thoughts, he would make himself Carl's favourite meal and pretend his son was there, eating it alongside him.
That was what sat in front of him now - blueberry and peanut butter pancakes, with whipped cream dolloped on to make a smiley-face and sugar sprinkled on top. He remembered the day Carl had first begged him to make it, and his pleading eyes and mischievous grin had been too precious to say no. It had tasted horrible, all sorts of sticky and sweet lathered in soft bread, but when Carl had asked him so proudly what he thought, Rick could only smile and clear his plate.
The handwritten guide Greer gave him sat on the counter near him, and the page he had left it open on strictly forbade him from giving the girl utensils, in case she hurt herself or him.
He didn't have any plastic cutlery on hand, so he could only sigh as he took the paper plate back to his room to lay on top of the bed.
Alara stared at the carefully decorated stack, and though the muzzle hid the shape of her lips, he saw the corner of her eyes crinkle and he liked to think it was because this small memory of Carl had been enough to make her smile.
He bit his lip before he spoke, "I can take the..." he gestured carefully to her face, "I can take it off, so you can eat."
Her eyes gleamed with hope, her lips burning at the stretch of the mouthpiece wedged between so she couldn't bite her tongue and choke herself to death.
"But I got'a put it back on after, okay?"
Her eyes narrowed, she pushed the plate away as a garbled scoff could be heard through the muzzle. She knew she shouldn't be surprised, it wasn't as though the muzzle was a newly added piece to her prison regalia. No, Beale had ordered it to be placed on her after her first few weeks in the CRM prison cell didn't go too well.
"Hey, look," Rick's voice sounded strongly as he got closer, sitting at the edge of the bed and facing her, "I wouldn't do it if I didn't have to. But it's in Greer's instructions, and if I ignore it, it's not going to end well for either of us."
She looked at him with scepticism in her eyes, but it took one look at the warm plate of pancakes to dissolve any resistance. She agreed reluctantly, and Rick reached around her head to unclip the mouthpiece.
It covered her entire mouth and lower jaw, pressed tight against the skin in a way he knew had to be uncomfortable.
Alara could feel his slow breaths on her neck, and goosebumps broke out marking their way down her arms and chest. Rick felt her shiver against him, and as he continued to unlatch her muzzle, he murmured a promise to try and get some clothes that would fit over her manacles.
When he finally gets the muzzle free, the first sound to escape her was a relieved sigh, making the most of her momentary freedom. She stretched her jaw and Rick leaned away, throwing the muzzle on to the bed as he stared at her with his gaze anew.
When he had first seen her, he couldn't deny her beauty - not with her long, dark hair and her soft brown eyes. But now, seeing her face whole, he couldn't help but be mesmerised by the sight of her.
Alara was young, her youth visible in her face. She looked untouched and unharmed by the end of the world, but Rick knew that thought was a lie.
She licked her lips, the skin cracked and dry from being forced to remain stretched over the mouthpiece. She looked away from Rick, pretending he wasn't there despite how hard it was to ignore that the man sat directly opposite her.
He pushed the plate closer, encouragingly - "eat."
She reached for the plate, unsurprised by the lack of utensils, and ripped off a piece of the pancake. She reached to place it in her mouth, only for her chains to stop her short. She growled lightly in frustration before leaning her head down to take it into her mouth. The awkward position hurt her neck, the muscles already aching from the weight of her muzzle.
She sighed contently, the pancake warm in her mouth and the cream melting quickly. It was sweet and left a cloying taste in her mouth, her jaw tingling as it was exposed to flavours that had been hidden from her for so long.
She looked out the window again where night had fallen, and slowly chewed the food in her mouth as she savoured it. When she swallowed, she turned back to take another piece only to find one waiting inches from her face.
Rick watched her with a contemplative gaze, before encouraging her by saying, "it wouldn't do you any good to eat like that."
She bit her lip, wondering what she should do. But this might be the only meal she gets before the trial if Greer had it her way - she didn't know what instructions Greer had left, so she couldn't risk not taking the opportunity if it stood before her.
Another careful thought entered her mind, pushing her to get close to Rick - close enough, intimate enough that he may possibly choose her over the CRM.
She kept that whisper close to her heart, looking deep into Rick's eyes that resembled the sky and she ate the piece he held for her. He watched her chew and swallow, and something in her begged her to speak.
To show her gratitude or to fill the silence. Something to show him she was human, something to make it easier for him to care.
"This tastes horrible."
It was the first time she had spoken in years - she had given up talking because there was simply no one to listen, and her broken screams had been silenced by Beale's muzzle.
Her voice cracked with every word, rasped and dry. The sound of her voice felt like that of a stranger's.
To her surprise, Rick simply laughed, his eyes glistening with the faint memory of something as he tore off another piece to feed her.
They then chose to sit in silence, Rick feeding her every bite and watching her chew and swallow methodically. By the end, Alara hated to say that she grew fond of the weird taste and wondered when she could try them next.
When Rick stood to dispose of the plate, they both pretended not to notice how he forgot to replace the muzzle.
***
The bed was soft - foreign. After years of a thin mattress on the cold cement floor, she didn't think she could get used to something like this bed again. Nor the feeling of sleeping without a chunk of metal strapped across her face.
It had helped with one thing though, that stupid muzzle. She had learnt to make the most of each breath, quiet inhales for six deep seconds, hold for four and release over eight. Wait and repeat.
It was a structured sound, calculated based on the accompanying breaths that sounded from the ground.
Rick also lied awake, eyes focused on the ceiling as his mind whirred around how everything had changed so quickly. Again.
First the bridge. Then the CRM. And now, her.
For once, he found himself thinking of someone else other than those whom he had left behind in Alexandria, and he wasn't sure if it was a good thing. He thought of her reaction to the pancakes, a ghost of a smile on his face as he reminisced a fading past with his son.
He wondered what colour Carl's eyes had been when they widened in glee. Had they been the bright blue of a summer sky? Or the misty clouds right before a thunderstorm? Carl had always loved thunderstorms, loved to run through the rain and splash in the mud before everything had gone so wrong. Had his eyes been blue at all?
And what about Judith? Who had she grown to resemble? He imagined she would be a spitting image of Lori, with her long brown her and her kind eyes, but she would have Shane's short temper and remarks and it would make her that much more precious to him.
His eyes burned, and he sent a silent prayer to whoever would listen and begged to be reunited with his child. An even quieter whisper confessed he wouldn't mind which one.
Alara's breaths teetered off, her silent counting falling apart as Rick's own grew shuttered in the dark. She wasn't sure if she should say something - he had chosen to stay here, to sleep on the floor and listen to the guide even though he had already ignored it once.
Then she thought of the miserable nights she spent in her damp cell, how she wished there was someone she could share her burdens with so they wouldn't hollow her soul and burn her will.
"How did you get here?" She whispered into the dark, her voice still scratchy from the lack of use.
She heard in sharp inhale, one he tried to cover with the rustling of blankets as he turned his head to look at where she lay on the edge of the bed.
Lying on her stomach was the only comfortable position she could manage. Her head rested on her arms, her legs curled as close to her body as she could manage. She could only look towards Rick in her mangled state, but there was something in her gaze that looked content at the feel of the beds soft embrace.
Even the smell was so unlike the stale wetness that clouded her cell, it had smelt like the air right before the rain fell in autumn. Now, her nose was buried in the faint scent of musk, leather and something earthy, and she liked to think this is what freedom would smell like, had they let her roam outside.
"Someone found me when I was hurt," Rick believed there was no harm in revealing such information, a small part of him hoping the small similarities in their pasts would make her trust him even more.
"They brought me here, I haven't left since."
"Because you didn't want to? Or because you couldn't?"
The silence that rung between them spoke for itself.
"They took everything from me before bringing me here. The only thing I wanted was my freedom, and they've taken that too." There was no hesitation in her confession, only conviction.
Rick watched as she shifted her head so she could focus on the lamp on the nightstand instead, and before he could wonder if she would use it to hurt him, he saw her eyes glisten in the faint shadows of light.
"And now..." her voice wavered for a new reason entirely, "they're going to take my choice from me. And I can't do anything but wait."
A harsh laugh escaped her, her head shaking vigorously on the pillow as she shook her head and her voice dropped to something promising and threatening - "I'm going to burn them all. I'll make them all pay."
"You can't."
He could feel her glare through the dark, but he knew his words were true.
"There is no killing them. There is no escape."
"You don't know that. Not unless you've tried."
Rick lay a hand over his stumped arm, his heart sinking as he remembers all he sacrificed to escape only to stay trapped.
He doesn't say another word for the rest of the night, falling into a fitful sleep.
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! There are many more to come <3. Let me know if you have any theories or ideas for what might happen next, I would love to hear them! And to the people who have been following me from the start, thank you for being patient during my long break. I hope I gave you guys something worthwhile to come back to <33.
Taglist: @hhhilloklll @bellstwd @classyunknownlover @voodoopoetry @graveyardblossom
#crm!rick grimes#rick grimes x oc#rick grimes x reader#rick grimes#rick grimes x you#the walking dead#the ones who live#twd towl#twd fanfiction#rick grimes angst#rick grimes fic#rick grimes fluff#eventual smut#twd x reader
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In the mood for...
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1. Hi Mods, I hope you're doing well. Do you have any more Non-Yunmeng Wei Wuxian fics. I've read all the ones in the compilation you have.
Thank you so much! @iseverelydislikeeveryone
Crimson Promise by IceQueen95 (T, 148k, wangxian, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, wen WWX, fem WWX, angst w/ happy ending, sunshot campaign, canonical character death)
🧡 Resplendence by FrozenMarVel ( E, 166k, WIP, WangXian, CS Lives, Rouge cultivator WWX, Crossdressing, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of sorts, Fluff, Explicit smut)
Heart of the Beast by WaitForTheSnitch (E, 132k, WIP, WangXian, WWX Isn’t Adopted by the Jiāngs, Adopted WWX, WWX is a Niè, Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Oblivious WWX, Protective NMJ, Scheming NHS, Protective NHS, Soft NMJ, NMJ is So Done, NHS Is A Little Shit, Pining, LWJ Has Feelings)
The Phoenix embraced the Sun by Lament_4Piligrim (M, 21k, WWX/WRH, Female WWX, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Time Travel Fix-It, Donghua WRH, Good Person WRH, Past wangxian, Older WWX, Six Great Clans, Wei Clan exists, Wei Clan practises demonic cultivation and world being ok with that, Wei Ying becomes Madam Wen, She loves and is loved, Sentient Burial Mounds, Wei Ying adopts Wen Ruohan's sons and teachs them love, Protective Wei Sect, Protective Wēn Sect, WRH has some mental issues, CSSR & WCZ Live, ,Family Feels, Slow Burn, Sect Leader Wen bashing, WWX's got a little brother, Dark Past, Self-Sacrificing WWX, WIP)
When Flowers Spring from Killing Things by windsweptice (B0redaf) (Not rated, 100k, wangxian, Wen WWX, Demonic Cultivation, WWX Has No Golden Core, he's got a resentful one instead, Yīn Iron, WRH pov, LWJ pov, WWX pov, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, Sentient Burial Mounds, XY Is A Little Shit, WQ pov, Protective WWX, Protective WQ, Cinnamon Roll WN, Protective WN, LXC pov, BAMF WWX, Burning of the Cloud Recesses, Fall of Lotus Pier, Cultivation Discussion Conferences, BAMF LWJ, BAMF WN, BAMF WQ, Good Person WX, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Weddings)
With you is all I need to know by mocheng (M, 47k, wangxian, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Dom WWX/Sub LWJ, Older WWX, Rogue Cultivator WWX, POV Multiple, OCs, Curses, Light Dom/sub, Embedded Images, Case Fic)
teeth pushing together, hands clasped by SpeedingCheetah (T, 24k, LSZ & WWX, wangxian, LWJ & WWX, Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, POV WWX, YLLZ WWX, WWX Adopts LSZ, WWX is BSSR's Disciple, Rogue Cultivator WWX, highly implied lwj/wwx during the war, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Pining WWX, triggers are in the notes)
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2. Hey there, lovely people! There are plenty of fics where WWX time travels into the past, but I'm wondering if there are any where he travels forward in the timeline (not just as some sort of 'glimpse of &/or conversation with his future self' deal, but actually ending up in the future). Like maybe something where his 13/16 years of not being around is because he literally skipped over those years? @thispatternismine
Confusion by Vrishchika (Not rated, 5k, wangxian, time travel)
Would You Come Home? by s6115 (Not rated, 46k, WangXian, Junior Quartet Centric, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Junior Quartet Dynamics) this story doesn't feature a lot of actual wwx (tho he very much plays a part) but technically it fits the prompt and it's a great fic
Through The Abyss by bluesloth (T, 53k, WIP, WWX & JL & JC, Time Travel, Canon Era, Friendship, Drama, Humor, Explicit Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death)
忘不了你的爱 (can't forget your love) by PorcupineGirl (G, 25k, WangXian, Time Travel, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivators AU, Canon Divergence, Time Traveler WWX, discussion of canonical character deaths, a whole lot of handwaving, conveniently localized fires, Discussion of Canonical Suicide Attempt, mostly happy but slightly bittersweet ending)
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3. Hiiiii! I’m in the mood for stalker WWX and/or LWJ aaand age difference/power dynamics btw wx :)
Obelus by Celestios (Not rated, 167k, wangxian, rape/non-con, non-con elements, NO rape, Non-Consensual Spanking, Non-Consensual Punishments, Spanking, Punishments, Dubious Morality, Dubious Consent, physical discipline, Physical Abuse, Toxic Relationships, Abusive Relationship, Kidnapping, Stockholm Syndrome, mention of violence, mention of drugs, Mention of alcohol, Possessive Behavior, Obsessive Behavior, Unhealthy Relationships, dark LWJ, Baker WWX, Bodyguard WN, Mentions of weapons, Gun mentions, Slow Burn, Long, Doctor WQ, Self Medicating, WWX has ADHD, Trauma Bonding, Psychological Manipulation, Gaslighting, Organized Crime, underground crime, Underground business, illegal business)
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4. Hi! a) any canonverse fics where wwx pretends to be a woman?
b) might be overlap with above but fics where identity of yll is a secret? wwx can be though dead or doing a double life, i just wanna see ppl being afraid of this new super powerful player on the board @chellsky
4A)
By Any Other Name by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 31k, Wangxian, Canon Divergence, Crossdressing, Misunderstandings, Identity Porn, Identity reveal)
Fruit-Bearing Pool by rei_moon (T, 46k, wangxian, Mpreg, Crack Treated Seriously, Magical Pregnancy, Magical Pool, Out of Character, Inspired by Journey to the West’s Motherhood River, Historical Inaccuracy, WWX became a business mogul to feed his growing family, Minor OCs, Slow Build, Attempt at Humor, Crossdressing, For disguise purposes, Fix-It of Sorts, WWX and JZX being human disasters together, Misunderstandings, WIP)
crushed ceramic by doyeorem (pomellogranate) (T, 10k, JC & JL & WWX, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Yúnmèng Siblings Feels, Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect, Family Feels, Genderqueer WWX, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, i think, Misunderstandings, re: lxc, Disguise, Crossdressing, Whump, but it’s more mentioned/implied then detailed, Sibling Bonding, uncle bonding)
My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun by nonplussed (T, 26k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fix-It, Crossdressing, Idiots in Love, Sharing a Bed, Happy Ending, Mutual Pining)
deeper than the ink by loosingletters (M, 44k, JC & WWX, LSZ & WWX, WQ & WWX & WN, JYL/JZX, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt/Comfort, Family, WQ Lives, Not Everyone Dies au, Sibling Bonding, Good Sibling JC, Good Sibling WWX, Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect, Cultivation Sect Politics, Communication, Secrets, Lies, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Trans WWX, Crossdressing, Child LSZ, Pre-Relationship, WIP) first in the series of in the name of love
今非昔比 Jīn fēi xī bǐ by XieJianRou (Not rated, 119k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, fem WWX)
4B)
The Scarlet Lotus by rainbowninja167 (M, 137k, WangXian, Marriage of Convenience, Secret Identity, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical war crimes, Yunmeng Bros, the mortifying ordeal of getting seduced by your own husband, nonlinear chronology we die like cql, just kidding nobody dies in this fic, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication)
only the dead (have seen the end of war) by comforting_monachopsis (T, 42k, WangXian, Temporary Amnesia, BAMF WWX, Sad LWJ, Grief/Mourning, Mild Gore, Medical Inaccuracies, Secret Identity, Loss of Identity, Identity Porn, The Science of Cultivation, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Angst and Humor, Crossdressing, WWX is Bad at Feelings)
if you can’t beat them, recruit them by moeblobmegane (T, 228k, Time Travel Fix-It, Conspiracy, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Found Family)
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5. A) wwx older than jyl n jc
B) wwx taking care of/being responsible for jc n jyl
C) anything that fits the song ' we have each other - Alec Benjamin '
5A)
a decade more to breathe by loosingletters (T, 2k, JYL & WWX, JC & WWX, Canon Divergence, Older Sibling WWX, Fix-It, Family, Hurt/Comfort, WWX is a Jiāng, just a bit of sect politics)
After We Say This series by TiredAndTired (T, 10k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & WWX, JC & WWX & JYL, Age Swap, Age Reversal, Good Parent YZY & JFM, Pining, First Dates, NHS Ships It, Give LWJ Friends, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Family Feels, Secret pregnancy, Implied/Referenced Sex, Mpreg)
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6. For the the itmf can we have some classic there is only one bed / stuck in a tiny space wangxian? Can be canon or au just put them boys in situations!
The Look You Give by alightbuthappypen (dairyme) (E, 8k, wangxian, Sharing a Bed, First Time, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Anal Fingering, Bottom LWJ, PWP, Porn with Feelings)
Three Days, Two Nights by ScarlettStorm (E, 21k, WangXian, modern au with cultivation, Canadian Shack, only it's in rural china so the shack is not canadian, Comedy, Pining, snuggling for warmth, Getting Together, Trans WWX, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Kissing, Vaginal Fingering, Frottage, only wwx is a dude so it's not really cunnilingus, it's getting his dick sucked, switch rights) Stuck in a cabin, UST, trans male WWX, good stuff!
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7. For your next itmf I'm looking for fics that features a petty lwj and people, especially wwz and juniors calling him out on it
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8. Helloooo I sent an ask a while back about fics that go into Wei Wuxian using his "A-Xian is three years old!" Phrase as a way to cope with his childhood trauma (like him actually reverting to three sometimes or using it as a way to avoid things...etc). It's been a while since I sent it in and someone did write a fic based on that ask if I remember correctly, but I was wondering if any new fics popped up about it? Please let me know! (Also no sexual age play pls)
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9. hello! thank you for your hard work, and the followers for the help. ITMF a long wwx-centric fic where he is appreciated, and there's very little romance (not much pining and mooning from wwx)
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10. Hey mods ~ A) can you suggest me any fics where Lwj is extremely obsessed with Wei ying ...
B) or Any college/ university Au wangxian but with fluff @selflovingmedj
10A)
A Matter of Time by mrcformoso (E, 44k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, POV LWJ, POV JC, Dark LWJ, Manipulation, Grooming, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Consensual Underage Sex, Except problematic please read warning in first chapter, Blood and Violence, Insane LWJ, Manic LWJ, Conditioning, WWX is a Lán, Minor Character Death, Confused JC, Golden Core Reveal, Good Friend NHS, WWX Isn’t Adopted by the Jiāngs, Abusive Jiāng Family, Jiāng Family Bashing, Jiāng Family Critical, POV NHS, Dark NHS, Anal Sex, Marathon Sex, Dual Cultivation, Qīnghéng-jūn Lives, LWJ Has a Big Dick, WWX Self-Lubricates, Plot Twists, Porn With Plot, Scheming NHS, Manipulative NHS, BAMF LWJ, BAMF WWX)
Obelus by Celestios (Not rated, 167k, wangxian, rape/non-con, non-con elements, NO rape, Non-Consensual Spanking, Non-Consensual Punishments, Spanking, Punishments, Dubious Morality, Dubious Consent, physical discipline, Physical Abuse, Toxic Relationships, Abusive Relationship, Kidnapping, Stockholm Syndrome, mention of violence, mention of drugs, Mention of alcohol, Possessive Behavior, Obsessive Behavior, Unhealthy Relationships, dark LWJ, Baker WWX, Bodyguard WN, Mentions of weapons, Gun mentions, Slow Burn, Long, Doctor WQ, Self Medicating, WWX has ADHD, Trauma Bonding, Psychological Manipulation, Gaslighting, Organized Crime, underground crime, Underground business, illegal business) link in #3
10B)
But really, why? by Scrippio (T, 52k, wangxian, modern, college/university au)
how to fall in love with a catfish: a guide by wei wuxian (disaster rat) by bwyn, Yuisaki (T, 54k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Actors, Multimedia, Online Friendship, Drunken Shenanigans, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Underage Drinking, Drinking Games, Families of Choice, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn, Catfish AU)
we’ll get him falling for a stranger (or a catfish) by sweetlolixo (T, 38k, WangXian, Modern AU, College AU, Catfish AU, Eventual Happy Ending, Crossdressing WWX, Pining LWJ, Fluff, Humor, lwj is a grade A+ SIMP, Identity Porn)
The Twin Jade Problem by bonyenne (T, 22k, WangXian, LWJ & LXC, Getting Together, Modern AU, College/University, comedic misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Yes a little bit of angst BUT IT IS RESOLVED (relatively) quickly, POV Multiple, POV Third Person Limited, Happy endings for all involved, Humor)
(Planning the Day) To Meet You by Bettydice (E, 61k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Mutual Pining, WWX raises A-Yuàn, minimum angst, MAXIMUM GAY, Self-indulgent fluff, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, POV LWJ, Happy Ending, Getting Together, Falling In Love, Masturbation, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Anal Sex, Intercrural Sex)
the earthquake in the room by phnelt (E, 39k, WangXian, College/University, Modern: No Powers, Canada, Getting Together, Mentions of lwj/others, inter-faculty romance, strangers to lovers to frenemies to lovers, mostly book characterisation)
Stumbling Into You by Magnolia822 (E, 39k, WangXian, College/University, Modern AU, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, Practice Kissing, Bisexuality, Coming Out, New York City, Denial of Feelings, Mutual Pining, Hand Jobs, Jealousy, Light Angst, Fluff and Smut, Slow Burn, Past WWX/MM, Underage Drinking, Recreational Drug Use, Family Dynamics, Falling In Love, Found Family, Unsafe Sex, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning)
The epic college romance between Wei Ying and Lan Zhan by KizuKatana (E, 58k, wangxian, modern, college/university au, Guest-starring the belated but incendiary sexual awakening of Lan Zhan, 3rd person pov, Su She is hyperfixated on Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan does his best to pretend Su She doesn't exist, Wei Ying isn't even pretending he really doesn't notice Su She exists, MianMian exists and is awesome, implied offscreen wangxian sex, First Time, Lan Zhan's Horny Grip, Lan Zhan does not know what hit him and yet somehow he still realizes it before Wei Ying, canon wangxian dynamics, Lan Zhan starts off annoyed at Wei Ying, But quickly discovers both his competency kink and a caretaking kink, Genius WWX)
in ever deepening degrees by typefortydeductions (E, 26k, wangxian, modern, college/university au, Mutual Pining, Fluff and Angst, Dom/sub, Non-Binary NHS, trans LSZ, Smut, lil bit of genderplay)
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11. (disclaimer: i appreciate the effort it takes to write every fic, and regardless of /my/ personal preference, the authors and many people love all kinds of fics obviously) so! may i ask for stories that contain some switching, but still have ****good**** novel characterization of lwj and wwx? i usually filter them out entirely due to preference (i mean yeah yiling laozu hot but he's still wei ying) and i feel like im missing out on some good stuff. thank you! (if d/s then dom lwj ofc!)
Not sure if these fit the bill, but they always read as cql but with novel characterizations. And they are so good. Post-cql setting for both:
out in the garden, there's things you hid away by saltyfeathers (E, 121k, WangXian, Possession, Animal Death, mass death event, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt(s), lotta hurt lotta comfort, wwx-centric, unfortunately there's also a bodily fluids warning, just like a lot of bodily fluids, there is sex and it is all in the last chapter, Serious Injuries, Angst with a Happy Ending, Post canon)
and
Boy Trouble, We've Got Double by saltyfeathers (E, 59k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Case Fic, betrothed to someone else, Pining, Unresolved Sexual Tension, WWX POV, Protective wwx, WWX centric, explicit stuff only happens between wangxian, (or wwx and his own hand), Masturbation, Alcohol, Consensual Non-Consent, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, straight boy WWX) both by saltyfeathers. A lot of angst in these! All of their Wangxian fics I've read are soooo good.
The Strength to Hold Him by Toshokanin (E, 7k, WangXian, Post-Canon, PWP, Porn with Feelings, Tender, horny, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Light Bondage, Anal Sex, A hint of sex magic, Dual Cultivation, Overstimulation, a soupçon of sex tears, Aftercare, Established Relationship)
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12. in the mood for fics where the whipping caused lwj to suffer permanent consequences (more severe than the three years of "seclusion" + permanent scars). bonus points if he dies because of it
Despair by AmiraAlzilu (M, 3k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LXC & LQR, major character death, Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Grieving LXC, Grieving LQR, LQR Is So Done, Dead LWJ, Dead WWX)
Restart from the End by EmBlu (IcyDeath) (G, 72k, wangxian, major character death, resurrection, role reversal, canon divergence, yiling wei sect au, angst, hurt/comfort, hurt LWJ, angry WWX, WIP)
the map of days by everythingispoetry (M, 20k, wangxian, canon divergence, angst, hurt/comfort, permanent injury, recovery, disability, parenthood, character study, 13 years of WWX's death)
the anteroom of golden age by everythingispoetry (M, 92k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Disability, Recovery, Mental Health Issues, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Families of Choice, Developing Relationship) Ah I just realised for #12 that the story I recced is actually the sequel to the map of days which you already had listed 🤦♀️ however it can be read as a stand-alone which is what I had done as I didn’t realise it was part of a series. anteroom focuses on wangxian and is set after mo manor, whereas the first story is lwj-centric and set during the immediate aftermath of the whipping and takes place during the 13 years of wwx being dead.
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13. Do you know any fics similar to concord by deastar??
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14. Hello! ITMF any canon-era stories which focus heavily on spells or the more magical side of cultivation? Could be a curse gone awry, WWX creating a bunch of spells, the juniors attending a mysticism class, etc. Thank you thank you!
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15. Hello, itmf for heavy angst due to misunderstandings between WWX and LWJ like something where LWJ doesn't trust WWX which upsets WWX. Would you please suggest 3 or 4 fictions like that? Thank you in advance. @paraffin22
我的皇后是農民 | sowing seeds in the cold palace by sweetlolixo (E, 78k, WIP, WangXian, Imperial Palace, Emperor LWJ, Imperial Consort WWX, Farmer WWX, Angst, Romance, Wingman LJY, Wife-chasing-LWJ, Arranged Marriage, Best Boy A-Yuan, not LWJ friendly) not bcuz trust issues b/w them, but super agnsty; i cried so much
Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending) This is a seriously angsty fic because of LWJ's misunderstandings of WWX and he definitely doesn't trust him. Not sure if that's what they're looking for but it broke me quite a few times.
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16. may i ask for fics similar to this one? (It's we that you are for by Vir_Abelasan)
to quote the author's note: One of my biggest kink is for CR study arc wwx to have a teacher like post-timeskip lwj - just someone who would actually take his curiosities and ideas seriously and build a structure around that instead of just trying to stuff him into an ill-fitting, existing structure. [doesn't have to be teacher lwj]
In Walls of Glass by Comfect (T, 43k, LQR & WWX, WangXian, XiCheng, Good Uncle LQR, Teacher LQR, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fix-It, Butterfly Effect, JC friendly, Family Feels, Cultivation Theory, POV LQR, Seriously the only WWX Bashing is in the first chapter or so and is canonical in LQR’s head, Initial WWX Bashing, Eventual WWX Appreciation, JC appreciation)
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17. hello!!! hope you’re having a great day!! for the next ITMF, I would like to see if there are more fics like Confusion, with the immortal cultivators in modern era! @darlingjunebug
不忘 | Don’t Forget by dragongirlG (E, 50k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Reincarnation, Fix-It of Sorts, Identity Porn, Social Media, Devotion, Reunions, Feelings, Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Light Bondage, Names, References to Canon, Modern Era, Artist WWX, Sexual Content, Pining, POV Multiple, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)
A Grand Immortal Made Me Soup by s6115 (G, 5k, JC & WWX, wangxian, canon divergence, Immortal JC, LWJ, Immortality, Alternate Universe, Yunmeng Duo Days, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Jiang Cheng used his immortality to grow and mature, Wei Ying finally reincarnates and the immortal Jiang Cheng isn't going to fail this time, Jiāng Yànlí's Pork Rib and Lotus Root Soup, Good Sibling JC)
Guide by Rainewritesfanfics (G, <1k, LXC & WWX, LXC & LWJ, wangxian, modern, reincarnation au, Immortality, Brothers, Immortal LXC, Immortal LWJ, Reincarnated WWX, Family)
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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***
#wangxian#mdzs#wangxian fic recs#i'm in the mood for a fic#the untamed#wangxian fic search#wangxianficfinder#long post
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By Your Side || cs
"The quiet guy who lives next door to you hardly seems to notice you, but you can't help but notice him—he's gorgeous. You've given up all hope of striking up a conversation until he comes to your rescue one night after your ex shows up at your house, drunk and looking to take you back, whether you want him or not." - Prompt
🩹 Pair: San x Reader(f)
🩹 Rating/Genre: NC-17; Fluff, slight comfort, slice of life, neighbor au, strangers to lovers
🩹 Word Count: 6.4k
🩹 Warnings: Minor injury (cuts/scrapes), small amount of blood, intoxication/drunk character, insinuating cheating, cursing
🩹 Author’s Note: This is my first non-BTS fic, so I’m nervous! Ateez has really stolen my heart. They’re now one of my ult groups, so expect to see more of them on my blog heh. I’m excited to start writing for them. I have more Ateez fic ideas in mind that I’m looking forward to writing in the future! As always, I hope you enjoy it.
ateez masterlist | main masterlist
The slope of his nose was perfectly leveled. His hair was straight and parted in the middle to expose some of his forehead. His lips rested in a slight pout; his brows furrowed as he struggled to slide his key correctly into the keyhole of his mailbox. You would have offered to lend him a hand, but he soon got the key in successfully. The view of his face was covered by the mailbox’s door.
You should have torn your gaze from his profile. If he caught you staring, it would be too awkward to extract yourself from the situation. You would stumble over your words as you tried to formulate an excuse. However, he was like a magnet. Your eyes stayed glued to him, scanning what little you could see now. Perhaps it was the fact his hair color had suddenly changed from a bright pink to a dark black. Although you enjoyed his magenta hair, the black hair made him more alluring. While the obvious change in his appearance caught your attention, you couldn’t deny that another reason why you were so fascinated with the man was that he was extremely handsome. From his soft eyes to his sharp jawline; it was difficult to ignore him.
San has been your neighbor for almost a year now. Recalling his move-in day brought a smile to your face. Not just because he was your gorgeous new neighbor, but because his friends came and helped him move his furniture and boxes. You were leaving your apartment to run a grocery errand and had stumbled upon yelling whispers. His friends were trying to stay quiet amongst their chaos, but it was clear whispering was not their forte. Although you didn’t stay for long, you had gathered they were arguing about how to get your neighbor’s couch through his door. Through the havoc, you had caught your new neighbor rolling his eyes with a smile on his face as he carried a box inside behind them. They were finished by the time you had come back from your grocery shopping. And even though you didn’t see your neighbor and his friends, you could faintly hear them through the door. Usually, the noise would slowly boil your blood, but it was hard to get irritated by the contagious laughing next door.
A soft click and the rattling of keys tore you from your memories. Much to your horror, you were still staring at your neighbor. You ripped your gaze to your own open mailbox and hastily grabbed what little mail you had to distract yourself. However, your stare didn’t go unnoticed as you swore you saw his lips curl into a small smile before he left without a word.
Your shoulders sagged when he was out of your vision, eyes dropping down to the two envelopes in your hand. You had never been the greatest with keeping up with checking your mail, but after your neighbor made himself a home next door, getting your mail was the highlight of your days. It became an excuse to get a glimpse of the eye candy living adjacent to you.
Eventually, you would grow out of this strange attraction you had for your neighbor. At least you hoped you would. You had realized trying to start a conversation was harder than you imagined. It wasn’t because he gave you the cold shoulder, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to say something to him. Every time you had built up the courage, your throat would close up and prevent any words from escaping. You wouldn’t be surprised if he thought you were a creep at this point. He never struck a conversation either. Maybe you had already scared him away.
The thought had a sigh leave your lips. You didn’t want to do that.
You shut your mailbox and twisted the key, locking it. You stared at the small, metal door. Today will be the last day for a while, you told the inanimate object. You were going to give your neighbor some space.
It was time to let go of the silly crush you had formed. It wasn’t going to go anywhere.
Choi San was a quiet man.
He kept to himself and was never the cause for any ruckus that occurred in your apartment complex. Well, he may have been if he was with his friends, but never alone was he any trouble. He was an enigma, and you couldn’t help but feel more drawn to him because of it. You wanted to know him for more than a pretty face.
Five weeks passed when you didn’t check your mailbox every other day. You had been accustomed to visiting your mailbox frequently, so it felt strange not to. Any time you had seen San, it was simply through passing. He would be leaving his apartment while you were entering yours or vice versa. You kept your gaze averted, forcing yourself to resist the urge to steal a glance. It wasn’t easy. Though, getting rid of any addiction was always difficult. No matter how weird it sounded, you had come to terms you were addicted to San. At least, you were addicted to the attraction you felt when you spotted him. You shouldn’t have been so down the first time you skipped going to your mailbox. Whatever trance you were lulled under in his presence was too strong to ignore.
You shook your head to yourself when you realized your thoughts were drifting to the man next door. Again. Goodness, you were hopeless.
You snatched your phone from the counter and strolled to your TV. You sunk into the cushions, pulling the blanket that was slung over the couch’s arm over your body. Despite it being the weekend, you had no plans on going out.
Last weekend was a friend’s birthday, and you were still trying to regain the energy you had expelled. The nights were fun, but you needed a few weeks to recuperate.
Twenty minutes passed before knocks at your door startled you. A quick glance at your phone’s clock informed you it was half-past eleven.
You were going to ignore the knocks as it was late, but the sounds persisted.
Sighing, you pushed off your blanket and shuffled to the door. You quietly glanced through the peephole and cursed inwardly when you saw who it was.
Normally, you would turn away from the door, but a part of you was worried about why your ex-boyfriend was knocking at your door so late. The relationship ended a little rocky, but you didn’t hate him. You hadn’t talked to him since and avoided his friends in case you would accidentally run into him. Because you didn’t dislike him enough to feed him to the wolves, you opened your door.
Hyunwoo’s eyes widen at the sound of your door opening.
“Oh, I’m sh-o glad you a-answered,” he sighed in relief, hand leaning against the frame of your door. Most of his weight was on that hand. You were sure if you moved it, he would lose his balance.
There was something off with him.
“Are you okay?” you questioned moving your hands slightly in front of you in case he was to fall.
“Peachy,” he answered. He tilted his head as his eyes took in your night attire. The long shirt and short shorts weren’t anything designer, but it had Hyunwoo smiling.
“You not occupied, are you? ‘M just wanna shee you. Was ‘bout’a go home, but Kwan dropped’e off here. I don’t remember telling ‘im that though,” Hyuneoo rambled, his other hand waving aimlessly as he spoke. His gaze dropped as his brows furrowed at his last sentence. He looked confused suddenly.
The more he spoke, the more you realized he was intoxicated. If it weren’t for his slurring, you would know from the smell of alcohol coming from his mouth.
It was late and you did not wish to spend your weekend taking care of your drunk ex.
You glanced behind him to see if his friend had come along too—hopefully sober. Unfortunately, all you saw was empty space.
“Where’s Kwan?” you wondered. Please say waiting in the car.
“Gone. Sh-aid ‘m betta’ off here.” Hyunwoo looked up at you again, face no longer scrunched with confusion.
“Is he coming back?”
Hyunwoo shrugged and looked down when he heard something drop. Following his gaze, you saw his phone on the floor. Before you could pick it up for him, he moved the arm resting against the door frame to grab it.
“Wait-” you tried to stop him.
“’S’kay,” he mumbled as he reached down. Barely a second later, he was losing his balance.
Your hands reached out to grab his shoulders, but his knees had already hit the floor.
“Owww,” he whined loudly, making you do a quick glance at the other doors around you. Great. Someone’s going to hear that.
“Is Kwan sober? I’ll call him and have him pick you back up.” You grabbed his phone and stuffed it in your pocket then pulled Hyunwoo up from the floor. You helped him lean against the wall outside your door.
“N-no!” Hyunwoo exclaimed and reached a hand to stop your movements. Your eyes widen at his fast reaction. “Not leaving ‘til you talk to me. Want’o talk.”
His head leaned back, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed harshly. His hand still gripped your wrist. Despite your wishes, it appeared you would have to babysit him until you could figure out what to do.
“Why ‘ou look sh-ad?” Hyunwoo pouted. The hand on your wrist slowly moved up to your face. You grabbed his hand and stopped it from caressing your face. You moved it back to his side. “Always hated sh-eeing you sh-ad.”
You ignored his words.
“Let’s get you inside while I call a ride for you,” you suggested and started to slowly move to your door. Your phone was inside, and you didn’t want to leave him outside alone. You could drive him back to his home, but you didn’t want to be responsible for him any longer than you had to. You weren’t sure why Kwan would leave him here like this, but you weren’t happy with that knowledge.
Forgetting he was unstable, Hyunwoo hastily pushed off the wall to stop you from going inside. Although you didn’t understand what he was fearful of, you guessed it was because he wanted to stop you from calling someone.
“Hyunw-” you gasped as you felt him grip your waist firmly and begin to stumble.
Unlike before, he fell with you in his hold.
You staggered to the floor.
“Shit,” you hissed as you felt the heel of your palms burn from scraping the concrete floor. There was also an aching pain in your ass from falling backward on the hard ground.
Suddenly, the sound of a door clicking open stole your attention from the stinging in your hands.
Standing with a startled expression was your handsome neighbor. His hair was wavy and fluffy, making you want to ruffle his locks. He wore black sweatpants with white stripes down the sides and a grey muscle tee. You wondered how such a cute face could be on a body like that. The contrast was eye-catching.
After four weeks of barely seeing him, you wanted to stay seated on the floor with your eyes glued to his. Unfortunately, or fortunately, you didn’t have the chance because Hyunwoo’s voice brought you back to your situation.
“Don’t worry,” Hyunwoo reassured your neighbor, hand waving him off as he tried to stand up. “Jus’a’lil accsh-ident.”
San’s expression soon turned into concern as his eyes darted from Hyunwoo to you. He quickly moved forward and held out his hand.
“Are you hurt?” he asked as he waited for you to accept. His voice was tender like the gaze he had cast toward you.
Even though now was your chance to feel his skin upon yours, part of you didn’t want to. You were too embarrassed at having been caught on the floor with your drunk ex somewhere behind you. You couldn’t even entertain your lingering crush on him at the moment.
Because you didn’t want to make the situation any worse, you took his hand anyway and allowed him to pull you up. His hand was large around yours and cool to the touch. You muttered a thank you as he lifted you. He was stronger than you imagined, and you accidentally stumbled from the strength he used to help you stand.
His hands rested on your shoulders to steady you while yours came to rest on his biceps. A slight blush bloomed on your cheeks at the feel of his bare skin, and you quickly retracted your hands.
“I’m sorry,” he said sheepishly then glanced behind you, not bothered with you having touched him.
“It’s okay,” you murmured. “I’m okay-”
Abruptly, San quickly held out a hand and grabbed Hyunwoo, stopping him from falling on you again and dragging you all to the floor. San’s other hand still rested on your shoulder.
He looked at you after studying Hyunwoo for a moment. “Can you walk?”
Once you nodded, San moved the hand that was on you to grab Hyunwoo. He could hold him up better.
“Did you want him in your home, or should I rest him against the wall?” San questioned, quickly assessing Hyunwoo’s state. Although you both have never spoken to each other, the only form of exchange were head nods, you had heard his voice on occasions. Sometimes while he was on the phone or if his friends came over. Nevertheless, his voice was as smooth as you remembered. You would have indulged in the way it comforted you if it weren’t for this particular situation.
“’M can walk!” Hyunwoo scoffed and attempted to push San’s hands from him. “Yn, tell ‘im to let me go.”
“Follow me,” you quickly said and ignored your ex’s whining. You didn’t want another neighbor to see what was happening. You stepped inside your apartment again, holding the door open as San helped Hyunwoo stagger in. You gestured to the couch then shut the door.
“Whatcha’ doing, man? I sh-aid ‘m can walk!”
San disregarded Hyunwoo’s pleads as he guided him to your couch. He eased your ex down on your couch, having to quickly push him back onto the cushions when Hyunwoo tried to stand again.
“You’ll be fine. Just sit for a while,” San said calmly to Hyunwoo, yet there was a firmness to it that made it sound more like a command than a light suggestion.
Hyunwoo huffed in his face but stayed seated finally.
“Yn,” Hyunwoo called. “He ca’eave now.” He gestured to San who was hovering near the couch in case Hyunwoo decided to kiss the floor again.
You glanced at San, wanting to tell him you were okay now, but part of you didn’t want him to go. Whether it be because you needed his strength if Hyunwoo were to fall again or if you simply wanted to be in his presence without standing near your mailbox.
As if San could sense your hesitancy, he offered, “I can stay if you want. I don’t mind.”
“But I do!” Hyunwoo protested.
“That’d be nice,” you sighed, a headache forming.
“It’s not ‘ike you’o ignore me,” Hyunwoo interjected; his body sagged against the cushions as if feeling defeated.
“May you give us a moment? Sorry. You can sit over there,” you asked San and pointed at your dining room across the room.
“Of course,” he answered politely and took a seat at your dining table. He pulled out his phone and averted his attention from you. You figured he did that more so out of courtesy than boredom.
You moved closer to the couch to grab your phone.
“Why did Kwan leave you here?” you asked Hyunwoo. One of his hands reached up to grab your forearm. He stared at you with half-lidded eyes, lips tugged down in a frown.
“Something ‘bout me bein’ annoying. Sh-aid I needed to talk’o you.” He tugged, rougher than you believed he meant to, but it caused you to fall next to him on the couch. For some reason, your eyes quickly glanced at San, but he was still looking at his phone screen.
“Okay,” you said slowly. “What did you want to talk about?”
As you waited for his answer, you scrolled through your contacts to find Kwan.
“Us-h,” Hyunwoo said and gently rubbed your forearm. When he noticed your attention was heavily directed to your phone instead of him, he placed a hand on yours that was holding the device.
You finally glanced in his direction.
“Maybe we should talk about it another time,” you lied and tried to keep your voice low. Even though it was probably best to talk about that topic when he was sober, you didn’t want to talk about it at all. You felt the conversation would be redundant as you’ve already talked things through. At least, that’s how you felt.
“Pfft,” he scoffed and pushed himself farther into your cushions. Maybe he thought he could embed himself in your furniture so he couldn’t leave. “You’re ignorin’eh too much for me’o believe that.”
“Hyunwoo,” you sighed and gently removed his hand from yours. “It’s been a year already. I thought you moved on.”
As discreetly as you could, you began searching through your contacts. When you found Kwan’s name, you sent a quick text telling him to pick Hyunwoo up if he was sober.
“A year?” Hyunwoo wondered. The look on his face showed he didn’t realize how long it’s been. You barely have seen Hyunwoo after the breakup–could count the number of interactions you had with him on your hands. Sometimes it was at a shared friend’s event or through passing at local stores since you both lived in the same city. Regardless, it was never more than 15 minutes at a time.
Hyunwoo’s shoulders sagged, eyes squeezing shut as if to erase that thought from his mind. “Right,” he mumbled more to himself.
A vibration in your hand turned your gaze away from your ex. Luckily, Kwan was fine to come back. A silent sigh left your lips as you felt relieved that you wouldn’t have to drive him home.
“Get some rest, okay?” you said. You wanted to say you’d talk about it later, but you knew you didn’t want to, so you refrained from the offer.
Hyunwoo’s energy must have decreased exceptionally. He simply nodded and let his head fall back. Gently, you adjusted him so he was laying down. You waited for a few minutes in case he woke up and became needy again. When he didn’t, you carefully got up, placed his phone next to him, and went to where San was seated.
“I’m sorry you had to deal with this, but thank you for helping,” you said as you sat down across from him.
San tucked his phone into his pocket and sent you a reassuring smile. Your eyes flickered to his small dimples. You never saw them too much, but they always had your heart warm in your chest. They made him look much cuter.
“You don't need to apologize,” San assured. “I’m sorry you had to get stuck with your drunk friend.”
You opened your mouth to correct him, but why should you? It didn’t matter if San thought he was your friend or your ex. The details were irrelevant.
Instead, you said, “I’m still grateful you helped me.”
“‘Course,” he murmured.
His gaze moved to your clasped hands on the table. You started to feel conscious of them under his stare and began to tuck them beneath the table. However, San was quick to stop the movement.
He slowly turned your hands over, palms up. You looked at him confused.
“You should clean this,” he instructed kindly and traced a small area on your hands.
You averted your gaze down quickly.
On both palms were red areas with scratch marks. The areas weren’t big, but you could still see the worry in San’s eyes.
The warmth in your chest spread at the fact he cared about your wellbeing even though he didn’t really know you and the injuries weren’t major.
“Come,” he said and carefully rose from his chair. The layout of the apartment must be similar to his because he navigated to the kitchen sink with ease. That or he saw it when he sat at the table.
Silently, he turned on the facet, checking the temperature several times as the seconds passed. You watched with more attention required. You had never imagined the neighbor you’ve been smitten with would be in your apartment. Let alone helping you clean a wound.
You took the time to stare at his profile while his focus was on the running water. He had small stud earrings and his skin was light honey. His hair fell in front of his face, the wavy locks concealing his eyes. You were partly glad for that so he couldn’t see you staring…again.
Once San was satisfied, he hastily washed his hands and then held out a hand. You quickly placed a hand in his. Probably a little too fast, but you didn’t want to be caught distracted.
He led your hand under the water. His movements were gentle as he cleaned your scrapes. For someone who was physically strong, he knew when to be tender. After he cleaned both hands, he dried them off with a clean towel you had handed him.
“Do you have band-aids?” he asked while drying your hands.
“I’ll be fine,” you brushed off his question. Not because you didn’t have any, but because you already felt he did enough. You didn’t want him to think you were totally useless.
San chuckled lowly and peered at your face through his hair. You had the urge to move his hair to see him clearly but resisted.
“I know,” he said, “but just let me play doctor for a few more minutes.”
His teasing tone caught you off guard and you lowered your head to hide the small smile forming on your lips.
“I-I’ll go get them then,” you replied and left to retrieve them before he could stop you. You could hear the faint sound of his laughter as you moved to your bathroom.
You wished you weren’t so nervous being in his presence but after months of admiring from afar, you couldn’t stop fumbling over your words and thoughts.
When you came back, San was leaning against the kitchen counter, hands resting behind him on the countertop. The position had his shirt stretch slightly across his torso. While he had broad shoulders, his waist tapered to give him an attractive figure. His gaze was on your ex sleeping on your couch. You couldn’t read his expression and part of you wondered what he was thinking.
“Band-aids, Dr. Choi,” you announced and held out the box.
San turned his head to you, a smile forming on his lips at your joke. He stood up straighter at the title and took the box from your hold.
“Thank you, Ms. Yn,” he played along. He pulled out some band-aids, picked the correct sizes, then started to open them.
“Now I’m not sure if you’re my patient or my assistant. I don’t think it’s appropriate for doctors to ask their patients to bring them items.”
You giggled at his dilemma and held out your hands when he gestured for them.
“I can be whatever you want me to be,” you teased, not taking the time to consider the multiple meanings that one sentence held.
Your response had San faltering in his movements, thumbs paused as he was in the middle of pressing the ends of the band-aid flat against your skin.
“I-I meant that I didn’t care if I was a patient or an a-”
You stuttered as you tried to explain yourself; however luckily for you, loud knocking interrupted you.
The booming sounds of the knocks startled San and he quickly jumped away from you, letting the second band-aid flutter to the floor and a small yelp escaped his mouth. You bit your lower lip to stop smiling at his reaction. You hadn’t even considered that San might be easily scared. Before you could go down the rabbit hole of thinking of his other traits, another knock emitted.
There was a groan near the couch, and you realized the knocking must be Kwan.
You quickly went to the door and swung it open, not bothering to look through the peephole.
“Long time no see,” Kwan said with a smile that didn’t seem genuine. You had met him through Hyunwoo and while he liked you initially, he started to dislike you after your and Hyunwoo’s breakup.
“Hey,” you greeted. “He’s on the couch sleeping. I can help move him to the car.”
You stepped aside to let him in. As you were about to guide him to where Hyunwoo was, he stopped you.
“What did he tell you?”
“What?” you questioned as you shut the door.
“Do you know why I left him here?” Kwan asked, not bothering to explain himself. His voice was pretty hushed. Maybe he didn’t want to wake Hyunwoo.
“Something about him being annoying,” you recalled.
Kwan scoffed. “That, but also because he’s been so pathetic lately. All he talks about is you and how you broke his heart.”
You gave him a confused expression; you didn’t like where this was going.
“The breakup was mutual. How could I br-”eak his heart? You stopped yourself from asking because there was no point. You knew Kwan would just formulate a reason that would make you feel guilty. Although you didn’t want to hurt Hyunwoo, you both ended the relationship in agreement. You were simply going in different directions in life.
“Look,” you sighed. “He isn’t my responsibility, and he needs to move on. We’re not getting back together.”
You stood your ground even when Kwan sent a cold glare in your direction.
“Even if we did, you think I would be happy? You think me being unhappy would make Hyunwoo happy?” you tried to explain.
“You could be happy if you just-”
“No,” you stopped him with a raised hand. “I’ve moved on. Hyunwoo is a good guy-” Kwan scoffed. “-But I don’t see a future with him.”
“You’re so-!”
“Kwan?”
Both you and Kwan moved further into the apartment at his name being called. Hyunwoo sat up on the couch and began to stand. For once you were grateful for Hyunwoo. You didn’t want to hear the rest of Kwan’s sentence; it was most likely filled with profanities.
“Hey, buddy.” Kwan moved to help Hyunwoo stand. “You ready to go?”
Hyunwoo hummed and then looked at you.
“Call me later, ‘kay?” He spoke slowly, voice a little groggy.
You stilled at the question. You would call if he wasn’t going to try to convince you to get back together, but every conversation after the breakup consisted of him dropping hints of wanting to be with you again.
You must have stayed silent for too long because Hyunwoo exhaled a defeated sigh. Kwan sent you another scowl, threatening with his gaze to say yes.
“It’s fine. Never mind,” Hyunwoo said and waved his hand as if to push away the question that was hanging in the air.
“Why can’t you just talk to him like an adult, Yn?” Kwan interrupted rudely.
“It’s fine, Kwan,” Hyunwoo repeated. “‘M not gonna’ force-”
“No, Hyun, you deserve a simple talk with her.” Kwan directed his attention to you again. “It’s the least she can do.”
You stared at him incredulously. He’s acting as if you cheated on Hyunwoo with ten guys, but you didn’t do such a thing. Why would Hyunwoo agree to break up if he really didn’t want to?
“There’s nothing else to say,” you argued.
“Evidently that’s a lie because Hyunwoo’s been moping-”
“How is that my fault?” you snapped.
“Are you serious, Yn?!” Kwan exclaimed.
“If she doesn’t want to call, then she doesn’t want to call.”
The new voice had all three of you turning toward the kitchen. You had forgotten San was still here in the midst of your personal chaos. San’s once calm demeanor turned fierce. You had never seen this side of San, but you had a suspicion he was holding back on saying more.
Kwan let out a dry laugh.
“Ah, I see,” he said and shook his head. “When did you find him? A day before you broke up with Hyun?”
San clenched his jaw, body tensed as he forced himself to stay put when all he wanted to do was kick him out. Maybe not with force... Unless he had to. He saw himself as a lover, not a fighter, but that didn't matter if you were in danger.
It was clear Kwan had made a false persona of you. You were sure he believed you had done something sinister to Hyunwoo that led to the breakup. Though, it also made you realize that Hyunwoo let him believe that. Did he even try to save your face?
“I think it’s time for you to go. Thanks for picking him up,” you said and disregarded Kwan’s gibe. You didn't need, nor want, to listen to him anymore.
You moved toward the door, but Hyunwoo and Kwan didn’t follow.
“Will you call him?” Kwan asked sternly. He wasn’t going to leave unless you agreed.
Exasperated, you opened your mouth to say fine, but San cut you off.
“It’s clear she has nothing more to say. Drop it and leave.”
“The question wasn’t directed to you, pretty boy,” Kwan said, rolling his eyes.
“Yet you’re meddling with issues they need to solve on their own,” San retorted. His eyes were glued to Kwan’s. If San had acted like this when you first saw him, you would have avoided him at all costs. Everyone has their dark side, per se, but San’s was much darker than you had imagined for someone who seemed like a loving cat.
“I have to because Hyun won’t gro-!”
“Let’s just go. M’ head’s killing me, man,” Hyunwoo said, body struggling to stay upright any longer. Although he wasn’t completely sober, the nap at least knocked some sense in him.
Kwan pressed his lips together but began to walk toward the door. You held the door open and watched as they made their way to the exit.
As they passed you, Hyunwoo tripped. You reached out to grab him, but Kwan held a hand to stop yours. The quick action had startled you and you pulled back. You could hear San’s hurried footsteps as he came closer. You weren’t entirely sure why he was suddenly by your side, but you guessed it was in case Kwan tried to do something.
“Don’t touch him,” Kwan snarled at you and led him out the door without your help.
The second they were out the door, you shut and locked it.
You pressed your back against the door and inhaled a deep breath. Your eyes stilled on the ceiling, trying to ease your tense shoulders as the seconds ticked by.
“Do they visit often?” San asked, pulling you from your thoughts.
“No. They haven’t been here in a long time,” you said and glanced down at your feet. Why did Kwan have to stir up unwanted emotions?
“If they come back, you can just call me and I’ll come over,” he said earnestly.
“They won’t harm me. I don’t need to burden you.”
“They are capable of it, though, and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
You looked up at San, head tilting as you tried to force yourself to be rational. The sentence had butterflies flapping in your stomach that you tried to ignore. He was just being friendly–probably would say that to anyone. Knowing how sweet and protective he seemed to be could confirm that suspicion.
“Thanks,” you muttered. “But I still don-”
“What’s your number?”
You stuttered incoherent words as you tried to grasp his question. In the back of your head, you knew he was asking so you could call him if you needed his help. Though, you couldn’t stop the thought of him asking you this for another reason.
“Should I just give you mine instead?” San chuckled softly when you didn’t answer right away.
“No- I mean sure- No, wait, I can just give you mine.”
San laughed again and pulled his phone out. He navigated his way to his contacts and added a new one.
“Number?” he asked again.
This time, you gave it to him.
“I sent you a text so you have my number. I’m serious; let me know if they come back. You won’t be bothering me. I’ll probably come over if I hear them anyway.”
“Why?” you asked before you could stop yourself.
San gave you a small smile. “Because I can’t let my mail buddy get hurt.”
“W-what?” you gasped and looked at him with wide eyes. San laughed, a corner of his lips quirking up in a smirk. The sound of his laughter had you smiling involuntarily; however, they quickly dipped down when he continued.
“You’re not very discrete,” San said teasingly.
“What would I need to be discreet about?”
“You know, I kept thinking I had food or something on my face,” he started to say, “but then I just realized you simply enjoyed looking at me.”
San grinned wider, eyes turning into crescents as he watched your expression change into horror and embarrassment.
“I’m s-sorry!” you said. You were uncertain what else to say and you sure weren’t going to admit the reason why. The embarrassment you felt now would last a solid six months, even more. You didn’t want to add additional time. However, it seemed San was having fun seeing you flustered.
“Why sorry? Who said I didn’t like it?”
A small yelp left your lips, and you brought your hands to your face to hide your flushed cheeks.
“Why haven’t you been coming to the mailboxes lately? I was getting worried.” Although San’s tone was still light, you could catch the hint of concern.
“I went.” Not entirely a lie because you did go, but very briefly and at times that no one would be there. “Must have missed each other.”
San quirked an eyebrow up in disbelief. “I highly doubt that,” he said and gave you an encouraging smile to tell the truth.
“F-fine!” you huffed and pulled your hands from your face. “I didn’t want to creep you out.”
San stared at you long enough to make you feel awkward. You were about to apologize again when San spoke.
“Why would a pretty girl staring at me creep me out? I found it endearing.”
You were sure your cheeks were already pink. Now, they’re bright red.
“Don’t say that,” you said bashfully.
“Mhm,” he hummed as if in thought and kept a smile on his face. “Very cute indeed.”
His reply made you feel he was talking to himself. You hadn’t prepared for San to say such things. Even when you daydreamed of interactions with him, they never turned out like this.
“Would you be okay with hanging out together sometime? Not just when you’re in need of a knight in– Actually, I guess I would be a doctor in sweats instead of a knight.”
You laughed at his joke, recalling how he had tended to your wounds ever so carefully. The lighthearted tone had eased your nervousness.
“Yeah, I would like that,” you answered with a smile of your own.
San nodded. “I’m glad to hear that. How about tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?” you asked, surprised. You were excited to finally be able to learn more about San, but tomorrow felt too soon. You needed time to mentally prepare.
“About five? I would say earlier, but it’s already so late that I doubt either one of us will want to be up early.”
At the mention of time, you quickly reached for your phone to check. However, you had left it somewhere and from where you stood, you couldn’t see the clock in your kitchen.
“It’s two,” San said.
“O-oh wow. I’m sorry I kept you up.” You didn’t realize how long it’s been–how long you’ve been keeping San from sleeping.
“You apologize a lot, huh?” San observed to which you blushed again. “It’s okay, really. Don’t stress about it. I wanted to stay. So, what do you say? Tomorrow at five?”
“Where will we go?”
San shrugged. “I haven’t thought about that yet. Just wear whatever you feel comfortable in. I’m sure you’ll look b- I’m sure it won’t be anything fancy.”
San’s cheeks turned their own shade of rose as he quickly changed his sentence. Despite not knowing what he was going to say, you felt your heart beat a little quicker with the thought of what he had planned.
I’m sure you’ll look beautiful.
It may not be exact, but you let yourself indulge in what could be a false statement because it made you feel good. His pink cheeks were a good hint that you were probably correct, though.
It felt good to have him finally feel shy. It gave you some confidence.
“Okay then,” you said. “Tomorrow at five.”
San beamed at you. You couldn’t wait to see more of his smile.
“If they ever come back, call me. I don’t care if it’s four in the morning, okay? You have my number.”
“Okay,” you said and reluctantly moved off the door so you could open it.
“You mean it?”
“I do.”
And you did.
Because Choi San was such a caring person you could feel how genuine he was being. You hadn’t wanted to call him at first because you weren’t sure if he was just saying that to be polite. However, you could sense he was being serious with every fiber in his body. Plus, you believed him when he said he would come on his own accord if he heard anyone disturb you.
You slowly opened the door for him and watched as he stepped outside, hands digging into his pocket to retrieve his keys.
Before he stepped into his own apartment, he glanced at you.
“Sleep well, Ms. Yn,” he said sweetly.
You giggled at his reference. Playing along, you replied, “Goodnight, Dr. Choi.”
The warm smile on his handsome face was the last thing you could think of as you fell asleep, eager and anxious for tomorrow.
You weren’t sure where your and San’s relationship was going to go, whether it will be platonic or not. One thing was for sure, though. You wanted Choi San in your life simply because he brought a light you weren’t going to be able to replicate. And that alone was cherishable enough.
ATEEZ COMEBACK LET’S GO!!!!! I’M SO HYPED FOR IT. THESE PROMOTIONS ARE CREATIVE AND INCREDIBLE. I’m extremely amazed by the marketing strategies–unannounced posters, AirDropped codes??? These trailers for their movie comeback? Hello?! Stan Ateez lol. I love that they’re using their storyline to guide their promos. Also, my favorite stage on Kingdom was their Rhythm Ta performance, so I’m very anxious to see what all they’ve been working on. Anyway, I’m just excited to get more into the Ateez community. I need more fellow Atinys in my life! Please be my friend 😫 lol
Thank you for reading! 🧡
©️hongcherry // DO NOT REPOST OR MODIFY.
Please consider reblogging if you liked this work to show your support. Feedback/commentary is always welcomed.
#san fanfic#san fluff#ateez fanfic#san comfort#ateez fluff#ateez comfort#choi san x reader#san x reader#ateez neighbor au#san neighbor au#ateez au#mimikookie writes#q#ateez ff#choi san fanfic
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Fluffy Fridays—Chapter 173: Capitaine Crochet
Fluffy Fridays—Chapter 173: Capitaine Crochet
Pairing: Captain Swan
Summary: A series of unrelated, fluffy one shots featuring Killian Jones and Emma Swan and the relationship that makes us all swoon. Will contain both canon and AU stories. My contribution to Operation Rainbow Kisses and Unicorn Stickers (aka, my attempt to drown out the season 4 finale angst with ridiculous levels of fluff.)
Other Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31) (32) (33) (34) (35) (36) (37) (38) (39) (40) (41) (42) (43) (44) (45) (46) (47) (48) (49) (50) (51) (52) (53) (54) (55) (56) (57) (58) (59) (60) (61) (62) (63) (64) (65) (66) (67) (68) (69) (70) (71) (72) (73) (74) (75) (76) (77) (78) (79) (80) (81) (82) (83) (84) (85) (86) (87) (88) (89) (90) (91) (92) (93) (94) (95) (96) (97) (98) (99) (100) (101) (102) (103) (104) (105) (106) (107) (108) (109) (110) (111) (112) (113) (114) (115) (116) (117) (118) (119) (120) (121) (122) (123) (124) (125) (126) (127) (128) (129) (130) (131) (132) (133) (134) (135) (136) (137) (138) (139) (140) (141) (142) (143) (144) (145) (146) (147) (148) (149) (150) (151) (152) (153) (154) (155) (156) (157) (158) (159) (160) (161) (162) (163) (164) (165) (166) (167) (168) (170) (171) (172) (174)
(ao3) (ff.net)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“And then she told me to get a hobby and stormed out of the house,” Killian said, sinking back into the plush sofa.
From across the office, Dr. Hopper leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. “And how do you feel about…well…all of that?”
Today marked the five year anniversary of the Final Battle. They’d had five years of peace. Five years of prosperity. Five years of domestic tranquility, where the worst crisis any of them faced was Grumpy’s wrath when Granny ran out of bacon.
It had been wonderful…and surprisingly far more emotional than Killian would have supposed Happily Ever After could be.
As it happened, when there was no longer a crisis to be faced every other day, one had the time and opportunity to deal with the stress and trauma that years of constant crisis had accumulated–and given his two centuries of painful existence, he’d had plenty accumulated.
Swan had made the suggestion that they start seeing Dr. Hopper to deal with it all, and so he’d agreed. The former cricket had, after all, been an invaluable listening ear back when Killian was considering proposing to Emma. The two of them had, accordingly, been to Hopper many times, sometimes alone, sometimes together, and though the psychiatrist had earned his degree from the curse, he seemed to have a genuine heart for his patients. More than once, Killian had left his office feeling far lighter than when he’d entered.
The newest crisis, and the reason Killian was currently sitting on Dr. Hopper’s sofa was not, strictly speaking, a crisis at all. It was a very, very good thing. As soon as the dust had settled from the Final Battle, Killian had whisked Emma away on an idyllic and well earned honeymoon. One night, as they lay snuggled together, they’d discussed the future.
One thing stood out to both of them: they wanted to give Henry a little brother or sister. And so they’d tried. For nearly five years they’d tried with no success, and as each month passed with no little one coming to them, they gradually began to lose hope.
That is until that morning a month ago.
Swan had come to him with one of the small wands that Killian had come to learn was a pregnancy test in her hand and joyful tears in her eyes. It had finally happened. Swan was with child.
They were overjoyed, of course, but Killian was also terrified. After all, he’d lived in a time when childbirth was not only intensely painful, but also quite dangerous. He couldn’t lose Swan again. He couldn’t.
She’d been patient with him, assuring him that medical technology in the Land Without Magic took away a lot of that risk–and could also take away a lot of the pain. She assured him that she was fine.
And yet his worry persisted. He’d fretted and fussed over her, hardly letting her do anything on her own.
This morning her patience had run out, and she’d snapped–thus her comment about a hobby.
“How do you think it makes me feel?” Killian asked with a roll of his eyes and a cross of his arms. “I’m powerless to stop…whatever dangers my wife and unborn child face.”
Hopper was silent for a moment, sitting back up and steepling his fingers under his chin. Finally he spoke. “It’s natural for you to fear for Emma and be extra protective of her at this time given the history of crises the two of you have faced,” he said, “but is that all it is? You’ve yet to tell me how you feel about your impending fatherhood.”
“I’m overjoyed, of course,” Killian said quickly, and perhaps a bit more forcefully than he’d intended.
“But–” Hopper prompted.
Killian blew out a long breath. “But I’m also bloody terrified. What do I know of being a father? I hardly had a stellar example of my own from which to learn. What if I’m incapable of providing the little lad or lass what is needed? What if I am incapable of protecting my child?”
“You love your child already,” Hopper stated.
“Aye, more than anything, save Swan herself,” Killian replied with a quick nod.
“And that is the most important thing,” Dr. Hopper said. “Killian, you’ll make mistakes as a father. All parents do, but as long as you love your child and do your best to do right by them, it will all turn out in the end.”
Killian sat back, sighing again. “That’s all well and good, but how precisely do I make the fear recede?”
Dr. Hopper was silent for another long moment. “Maybe, Emma has a point. I know she spoke in frustration, given what she sees as your overprotective instinct, but maybe it would be helpful to find a hobby.”
“I hardly think taking up woodworking or the like is going to allay my fears about fatherhood,” Killian scoffed.
“Maybe not,” Hopper said, “but one of the best ways to deal with anxiety is to busy yourself with something that might help the one you’re worried about. Look for a hobby you can use to help provide for Emma or your new child.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Killian had initially been skeptical about the cricket’s suggestion, but the more he thought about it, the more sense it truly made. What was something he could do to keep his mind and his hand occupied, something that would provide help and comfort to his little family?
It was one bright, sunny Saturday morning when he and Swan were sitting in the room that would become their nursery, that inspiration struck.
Opening a box she’d had him bring down from the attic, Emma had pulled out her delicate white and purple baby afghan, lovingly knitted for her by Granny herself.
“It’s the only thing I had from my parents growing up, Killian,” she’d said, running a hand lovingly over the soft fabric, “and it got me through, you know? It reminded me that no matter what I was going through, at one point someone did give enough of a damn about me to knit me a blanket.”
Perhaps that was the answer. Perhaps he could create a similar blanket for their own little cygnet.
The next Monday, after Emma had left for work, he’d wandered over to Granny’s after the breakfast rush and inquired of her whether she’d be willing to teach him to knit.
Granny peered at him over her glasses. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” she’d said bluntly.
His hackles had risen. “Whyever not?”
“Now don’t get your leathers in a twist,” she’d said, pulling off her apron and leading him back to the sitting room of the bed and breakfast. “I meant no offense. It’s just–”
“It’s just what?”
She eyed his hook. “It’s just–I’m not sure it’s possible to knit with only one hand.”
His heart had sunk, and she’d clearly noticed.
“Hang on a second,” she said, getting up and moving to a small box in the corner of the room and rummaging around. “Knitting may not be possible, but something else might.” She came back to him holding a ball of yarn and a small, thin hook. “Killian, how would you like to learn to crochet?”
Note:
–I’m back! Did you miss me?
–This story came about through personal experience. Two things some of you may not know about me: 1. Aside from OUAT/writing, my biggest hobby is crocheting (knitting too, to a lesser extent, but crochet is my medium of choice). It’s rare to find me without a crochet project in my hands during my downtime. 2. I minored in French in college. Though I haven’t used it much since then, I’ve started reviewing and trying to learn more–hopefully to one day become fluent. Anyway, one day when I was working on an extremely boring project at work, a thought occurred to me–a thought that actually combined all my major hobbies and pursuits. The word for “hook” in French is “crochet”, so Killian’s title in French is actually “Capitaine Crochet”. Naturally my next thought was that there had to be a fic in there somewhere.
Thus this story was born.
–This little fic should have one more chapter. Up next: Emma feels bad for snapping at Killian–especially when she realizes he’s spending a lot more time away from her. One day she learns his secret–his brand new hobby–and it makes her fall in love with him all over again.
NEXT CHAPTER-->
#cs friday fluff#cs ff#fluffy fridays#cs future fic#well...more missing scene during season 7#my fanfiction
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Self Promo Sunday: “Reality and Roses”
Hello, everyone! This week’s re-run is a silly little bit of fluff that I dreamed up from my own ridiculous fondness for watching (even when I’m laughing at the craziness of it while I do!) “The Bachelor” and “Bachelorette”, and then wondering what in the world Killian Jones would make of this unbelievable drama we actually call “reality tv”. The rest just followed from there. It’s set roughly parallel to season seven, but where we get to see the newlywed pirate and princess set up their home together and enjoy another version of the domestic day-to-day that many of us would have enjoyed onscreen. Their little girl is on her way, but not yet born, and Henry is off searching for his own story.
~ Also available on AO3 or ff.net as part of my one shots collection “Of Swans and Swords and Hopeful Hearts”
“Swan! Swan!”
Emma struggles not to snort through her nose as she picks up the two plates full of Chen Po’s China Kitchen takeout she has dished up for them. They’ve already stuffed themselves on Crab Rangoon and Won Ton Soup anyway, but that doesn’t quell her desire for Sweet and Sour Chicken, nor will it stop her pirate from having at least half his new favorite carryout Beef and Broccoli (though he would swear up and down that preference was untrue if Granny Lucas were present). Lately, Emma could swear that she has become a bottomless pit in this, her third trimester of pregnancy. She can eat Killian under the table hands down, regardless of the food, but Chinese has been her go-to craving.
She doesn’t even know yet what it is her captain wants to tell her, but the shock and almost affront in his tone lets her know ahead of time that it’s one of those gentleman fish-out-of-water, Land Without Magic things that still, almost two years into their marriage, manage to shock and baffle him. Clearly, leaving him to channel surf for their evening’s entertainment on the “magical picture box” as she dished up the main course has paid off in one way or another, if only for her momentary amusement.
Entering the living room once more, a plate in each hand and curiosity – she’s sure – painted across her face, Emma is not at all surprised by the way Killian seems to snap to attention from the rapt focus he had been training on the television. In seconds, he is on his feet and at her side, taking one plate from her and gently ushering her ahead of him back to the couch before which their drinks, utensils, napkins, and the demolished remnants of their appetizers are strewn across the coffee table.
“My apologies, Love,” he murmurs, rubbing his nose along the bend of her neck and shoulder for just a moment, his warm breath ghosting over her skin bared by the boatneck sweater she is wearing and nearly making her drop her plate before she can put it down on their makeshift table and resettle in her seat. She bites her own lip in her surprised jolt of excitement and almost turns to grab him around the shoulders and pull him back in for a proper taste of those full, irresistible lips – the food can wait after all – only for him to sit back from her on the couch, looking embarrassedly shamefaced.
“What, Killian?” she asks, senses reeling and completely baffled. Her hand settles on his bicep, grounding herself as well as letting him know he has her attention. “What are you apologizing for?”
Her adorable nerd of a husband gazes back up at her, a slight flush just barely visible through the unshaven scruff of his cheeks as those blue, blue eyes meet hers from beneath his dark lashes. “For making you get up and fetch the main course alone. You certainly are not my waitress, and I was coming to help you – truly. I could have sworn you’d been gone but a moment – I was right behind you! – and then this…this…bloody demon transfixed me once again.” He gestures at the tv vaguely before turning to sheepishly study her face for signs of annoyance.
Emma can’t help but shake her head, half exasperated and half humored. It would seem that as remarkable as her True Love is in so many other respects, he is every bit as susceptible to the gravitational pull of the television as any other man. Reaching out playful fingers to brush aside the longer fringe that has flopped over Killian’s forehead, she then cups his cheek in her hand and pulls him to her easily, pressing a short, teasing kiss to the bridge of his nose. “No worries,” she soothes with a genuine smile on her face as she meets his gaze. “I’ve told you time and again that I may look the size of a house and like I shouldn’t be able to move, but being pregnant does not mean I can’t do anything for myself.”
His mouth opens, about to argue that he means to wait on her hand and foot, no doubt, but she cuts him off with a shake of her head and a kiss to his mouth this time – which almost derails them completely, her low hum of pleasure in the back of her throat causing them both to dive deeper, pulled together like magnets before she finally leans away, sitting back in her own space once more. “Besides, I’m the one who couldn’t wait another minute for her Sweet and Sour Chicken,” she adds, breaking the hold of his heated stare to spear one of the breaded poultry bites on her fork, dunk it in the pinkish-orange sauce, and quickly bring the morsel to her mouth. After swallowing with pure satisfaction, she prompts, “So, what was it you wanted to tell me a minute ago? Something on the tv?”
Killian jerks upright at that, eyes wide as he clearly remembers what had gotten him so up-in-arms. Gesturing to their television’s screen, now advertising some sort of overpriced mop-and-broom-in-one wonder contraption, to which his eyes veer and Emma just barely stifles a giggle as her ridiculous neat freak almost loses his concentration again, this time to the advertisement’s hold. But then, Killian focuses and looks at her in earnest outrage as he explains, “It was promotion for an upcoming program – one of those preposterous reality competitions.” The disdain dripping from his words would be enough to send Emma chuckling again, this time at how seriously he takes his evening programming, if she didn’t first press her lips together to forestall the outburst and then shove enough chicken in her mouth to keep busy chewing and not reveal how amused she is by the whole thing.
Killian isn’t done though; in fact, he looks as if he would march right up to whatever powers-that-be control the network schedule, give them a piece of his mind and wave his hook under their noses for good measure, if he only knew where and how to find them. He’s just gathering steam as he launches into the rest of his description. “Apparently some single, mildly attractive bloke is set up in a mansion while several comely young lasses jostle to woo him and win his hand. That has to be a mistake. Doesn’t it, Swan? Why, the very premise is ludicrous. He can’t date all of them at once! Who would stand for that?! They called it ‘The Bachelor’, but I must have it wrong. No true gentleman bachelor would behave in such a manner – nor try it even, if he possessed a lick of sense…” However, his voice trails off at this point, eyes narrowing as he truly registers the expression now covering his wife’s face. “Wait a minute… Emma, why do you look like that?”
It’s her turn to blush brightly and unsuccessfully try to avoid his eyes, though it does no good and only tips him off further. She had once been quite fond of The Bachelor – not that she’d have ever thought to tell anyone about it by choice – but the overly dramatic, outlandish guilty pleasure had kept her company on her couch with a pint of Rocky Road ice cream in that lonely apartment in Boston as she unwound after a long skip chase or stakeout more nights than she could count. “Well, I don’t know how many self-respecting gentlemen they really draw, but you’d be surprised what those ‘lovely young lasses’ as you put it, will stand for – and do – Killian. It’s more intriguing than you’d think.” This last is mumbled in a rush as she ducks her head and pretends to have difficulty getting an errant morsel of chicken onto her fork. She isn’t necessarily ashamed of being a Bachelor devotee at one point, and Killian wouldn’t judge her for it anyway, but she is abruptly struck by how absurd it all must seem to someone who comes from the place and time he does, and with the sense of honor which runs so deeply through his veins. She flushes all over suddenly, floored by how blind she had been not that long ago, how little she had known back in those days on her own…just how different it is when those feelings the show plays on – when love itself – is True.
Killian’s eyes bulge almost comically; she has to reach out to soothingly to pat his thigh, as he’s entirely too distraught for his own good. “Emma, truly?” he asks, voice quieter but still almost aghast at the very concept. “He dates all of them?! The cad!! How can you watch such poor form, Swan? It’s atrocious!”
She grins mischievously at him, shrugging away her embarrassment and giving him a saucy wink. “Look, it’s easier to just show you, alright? Tonight’s Monday, so it will be on in…” she checks the clock above the fireplace, “about half an hour. I’m guessing that’s what the commercial was about. You can check out the season premiere for yourself, Pirate.”
Her husband huffs indignantly as if he has no desire to do any such thing, but by the time eight o’clock has rolled around, he has finished his meal, taken both their plates back into the kitchen, brought her a bowl of the restaurant’s specialty pineapple sorbet for dessert, and settled into his place on the couch again, with her feet gathered in his lap.
As the program starts, Emma points out various routine practices and occurrences on the show, explains how this or that usually works, and Killian seems grudgingly engrossed despite his nobler intentions. When the appointed Bachelor flubs one of his prospective mates’ names at the cocktail party, Killian scoffs loudly enough to draw her attention. Glancing sideways, she challenges, “Think you could do better, do you? That’s a lot of names to keep straight!”
Killian however doesn’t miss a beat, sliding his gaze across to capture hers with twinkling charm, “Any decent suitor has ways of holding onto those names which matter,” he counters smoothly, waggling his brows at her in flirtatious come-on.
Emma does snort then, but at least partly to cover the way he makes her breath catch and her heart start beating faster.
Her husband is smart enough not to gloat at this, though he easily notices and reads her as well as ever, merely nodding with a secretive smile and gathering her close to his side as she leans over on him while they continue to watch. When it reaches the stage where the chosen man is going on his first intimate date with one of the women and the pair onscreen are sharing a romantic candlelit dinner, Emma tilts her head to look up at her handsome husband, studying his beloved, scruffy profile and sliding her hand over his solid chest to slip under the typical, partially-unbuttoned collar and rest her palm tenderly against the warm, inviting skin right over his heart. “So, a little more romantic than you figured, Captain?” she questions curiously.
Killian chuckles lightly, giving a tiny bob of his head in acknowledgment, but when he turns to look back into her eyes, Emma sees clearly that he has not yet played his last card. Reaching the bared stump of his left forearm, brace and hook long since removed this evening for comfort’s sake, to rest beneath her chin and gently turning her face to just the angle he is after, Killian bends to kiss her slowly, languorously, stealing her breath and every thought of reality dating, exotic locales, or winning their little debate from Emma’s mind. When he does pull back, just enough for them to each draw a bit of air, their lips still only centimeters from each other, the low rasp of words he intones in that voice she can’t ignore sends shivers all the way down her spine. “Aye, my love, I do see the appeal.” He runs that devious tongue over his lower lip before going back to hers for another taste and nearly making her melt into the couch cushions beneath them.
At their next pause, he gathers her closer still, nuzzling his nose with hers, their foreheads resting against each other before he looks into her eyes seriously, his question now truly concerned, “But even so, people do not seriously think that a deep relationship can be formed in this way, do they? Surely you would not have gone on a show like that? Competed that way as if love were a wrestling match or choreographed script?”
Emma tilts her head to the side as she considers his question, shrugging noncommittally when she answers, “Well, no, probably not. I mean, I definitely didn’t think they were finding real love. But as a lark…who knows? I mean, they got to travel, be pampered, live it up. It might have been fun.”
“Fun, hmm?” Killian murmurs at her temple, his hand now gently resting on her swollen stomach, the warmth truly comforting, even as she knows he is about to challenge her again. “Well, be that as it may, lass, luckily you are now married to an illustrious pirate captain fully aware of how to woo a lady and able to take you any place in this realm, or any other, on the fastest, most marvelous ship in existence.”
Emma smiles up into his gorgeous face before resting her head on his shoulder and relaxing into his touch for the long haul. “You’re forgetting the real difference that I finally understand,” Emma whispers to him lightly. “Back then, I didn’t believe love existed anyway. It didn’t matter if what they were selling on tv was a scam, because I didn’t think what we have was possible. Just like you said in Neverland – not until I met you.”
Killian’s pleased agreement rumbles in his chest, and Emma feels the vibrations pleasantly throughout her own body where she rests in his arms. The fancy jewelry, ball gowns, televised proposals, and celebrity serenades they see before them on camera, none of that holds a candle to this man with whom she now shares her life and her home.
~~ ***~~
And so, when Killian comes in from the station at dinnertime two nights later, and surprises her in the kitchen by kneeling before her and holding out a single yellow buttercup to match the bloom inked on her wrist, and asks if she will accept his token, Emma can hardly be surprised. Nodding and grinning with perfect glee – and thinking how much prettier this simple flower is, reflecting her more than any red rose ever could – her smile feels as though it might split her face completely in half. Emma finds herself giggling as he stands and somehow manages to sweep her off her feet and spin her around, impressive baby belly and all. “Well Love, since you have accepted this formerly hopeless bachelor’s proposal, you are entitled to an all-expense paid trip to the destination of your choice I’ve arranged. We leave Saturday; anywhere you want to go, one more magical getaway before the little one arrives. It’s all taken care of.”
Swept up in the romance and surprise of her husband’s plan, Emma Swan - now Jones - can only marvel at how her reality is so much better anything she could have imagined.
Tagging a few who might enjoy: @jennjenn615 @kmomof4 @searchingwardrobes @laschatzi @whimsicallyenchantedrose @jrob64 @apiratewhopines @xarandomdreamx @elizabeethan @donteattheappleshook @the-darkdragonfly @motherkatereloyshipper @xsajx @teamhook @revanmeetra87 @optomisticgirl @tiganasummertree @spartanguard @therooksshiningknight @gingerchangeling @gingerpolyglot @booksteaandtoomuchtv @sotangledupinit @resident-of-storybrooke @stahlop @kazoosandfannypacks @anmylica @hollyethecurious @darkcolinodonorgasm @eddisfargo @jonesfandomfanatic @bdevereaux @zaharadessert @winterbaby89 @swanslieutenant
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In your AU, does Lucy Gray have to be a mentor to the future generations of D12 tributes? If yes, how do people react to that? Cause I could easily see the accusations of favoritism/rigging that could generate if anyone from 12 ever started doing really good. How would that all work?
There’s actually a fic that dealt w this exact issue n i loved it SOOOOOO much, made me want to pull my intestines out of my belly button n swing. It’s v toxic not much fluff if at all lmao but check it out!
I still haven’t decided if LG should be a mentor bc like you said there could be accusations of favoritism but if that ever did happen I think it’s like an open secret that CS will kill anyone who slanders LG, if not to protect her as his wife but bc LG disrespect=CS disrespect, that’s HIS wife. On the other hand, her not being a mentor could also be seen as another form of favoritism bc she doesn’t have to deal w the trauma of “guiding” kids who were once in her place and are most likely going to end up dead days after meeting them. I think it could work if the mentorship program starts w the 11th victor, w the first 10 being except bc…. Reasons. Also the whereabouts of the first 10 victors are unknown right? minus LG ofc. Yeah i think ill go w that LMAO, LG won’t be a mentor not bc of favoritism, but bc the first 10 get to be exempt. Now as to how LG feels abt that, i think it would be so traumatizing for her to get involved, but also. It would eat her up not to help. I rly think the fic i linked dealt w it so much better than i ever could so yeee here’s the link again https://archiveofourown.org/works/51952198/chapters/131373604
#ask#i could rant abt this fic forever#i want him to repent so bad#but a remorseful CS is not my CS#still want him to grovel tho#he’s so sickkkkk#him verbing characterA while still verbing characterB was soooooooo#need LG to fight back#make him regert#its not looking good but I’m still looking for a happy ending#I’m an optimist 🤡
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i’m so appreciative that people on this blog don’t mind (or even like) me rambling about my fics bc. God it really is all i think about. like i have limited brain space and 90% of it goes to my fic ideas they’re my babies i love them so bad
#nightmare.personal#and i'm proud of a lot of them too. albeit i do have issues w cough syrup and lungs of the universe#i think both of them could have been WAY better. CS could have had more diversity in it and was unclear in its intentions at the start#and lungs of the universe has potential i still need to seize but yk uploads are thrown off#like despite that. im SO proud of the plot and scenes and characters of cough sryup#and i do really like how i did some of the stuff in lungs#im just. happy abt it lol and i hope that my future fics r still just as good <3#even if finishing CS will leave a hole in my heart LOL
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Any Headcanons on prof naoya and prof YN? What happened in my cs class was that the projection board was the prof’s computer, and sometimes there was notifications pings that we saw from Microsoft teams from another staff/prof asking him if he was going to a school event or sumn, so I could totally imagine that happening to prof naoya where prof YN asks if he’s going to like a staff function lol but just a thought
umm thank you for asking this because !!!! you mentioning what happens on your prof's computer is so silly and fun !!!!
i can definitely see dr. naoya projecting something from his computer to the class, and it's not just you dm'ing him through teams to ask if he's attending a university-wide staff meeting, but i think naoya is the type who is guarded enough to not leave too much of a trace of your constant presence in his life. you know that quote that's like "if you look for it, you'll see that love really is everywhere", and for dr. naoya, his love is shown when the students catch a glimpse of his outlook calendar and see "dinner - 8pm" on it, but no one really knows why it's on his schedule until outlook sends a notification (that he can't click away from fast enough) that says "DR. [SURNAME] HAS ACCEPTED 'dinner - 8pm'". i think dr. naoya zenin is silly enough and yet formal enough to not just text you (like a normal person) to go to dinner; he needs it sectioned off on his calendar AND he likes having you specifically click the "yes, i'll attend" button when he sends you the invitation via microsoft outlook 😭 he's so lame, and it's so endearing, and the students are definitely giving each other looks as they realize that a nice professor such as yourself would even go out to dinner with someone like him.
i know for a fact that in the future, when he proposes, he's secretly so excited at the prospect of you legally becoming dr. zenin as well 🤭
for any new readers, you can find prof naoya's fic here! 💖
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