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brookheimer · 1 year

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the one thing i feel pretty certain about for this episode is that america will not decide the election. a decision will be made, a president will be elected, but america will not be the deciding factor.

succession can’t mimic 2016 or 2020 point blank, that would be boring and have nothing to say. it can’t try to outdo trump because it’ll go too whacky and fall flat like veep’s last season (sorry conheads, no way he’s winning). but what it CAN do is illustrate the immensely corrupt, often arbitrary, and hugely influential nature of news media and conglomerations on political processes. i think probably jimenez will be in the lead, then atn/waystar does something to, i don’t know, discount votes or cast suspicion on jimenez or call the election for mencken early, and the tide will shift, even though the votes are already in. the votes don’t actually matter. the actual result doesn’t actually matter. that’s the power logan (and as an extension, billionaires and CEOs in general) hold. shiv says it herself to logan in s4e2: “just cause you say it’s true doesn’t make it true. everyone just fucking agrees with you and believes you, so it becomes true and then you can turn around and say like, 'oh, you see? see? i was right.'” but it doesn’t matter that logan’s “a human fucking gaslight,” everything he says comes true anyways. not because he was right, but because that’s how it works. he says things and then they happen, regardless of what the truth is or what should actually come to pass. that’s been one of the key throughlines since the very first episode of the entire show when, in response to kendall calling logan out of touch because times are changing and logan isn't changing with them, logan hisses that everyone always says you’re wrong until you do it and prove you were right: “you make your own reality.” you can't miss the bus if you're the one driving it. the election, the votes, the political process? none of that matters. it was always going to come down to the roys and their ilk (allies or enemies, just the top 1%) — that was the whole point of “what it takes” (the mencken episode) last season, after all.

i’ve seen lots of theories about what america will choose and how the candidates will respond and all that and i just don’t think that’s the show’s focus; i think the whole point is to demonstrate the lack of agency, the illusion of democracy. because, i mean, we’ve already seen the fall of democracy via fascist election and fascist election-denial, both in real life and in the countless (usually mid) satires created afterwards. it would be disappointing to see succession use the election to reiterate that same point of 'ohhh alt-right ahhhhh!!!' i don’t think it’ll be about ‘fascism’ at all — at least, not ‘trump-y’ fascism. it’ll be about fascism in the broader sense, the kind that doesn't sport a KKK hood (even when it keeps one tucked away in the attic). it's the fascism that every single roy (very much including shiv and kendall) aid and abet -- the fascism that so many succession fans don't seem to regard as fascism, despite it quite literally being the definition of fascism. trump wasn’t the entrance of fascism into our political process. he wasn’t the lone sign of the failing of american democracy. democracy in america has long been illusory, trump just made it more blatantly evident with his particular brand of hate-speech-ridden masculinist in-your-face fascism.

so i think that’s what this episode will hopefully focus on — america will not decide. corporations, news media, and the roys will. thus, the president will most likely become president not because the country supports his policies the most, but because he’s likely to agree to help block a business deal for a major media empire, and the other candidate is unlikely to. and this will likely come to pass due to said major media empire's interference and influence: they create their own reality. they say it, and everyone agrees with them and believes them, so it becomes true.

#WOOF okay here's my unnecessary ~thematic prediction~ for this episode #i have some more like random thoughts ab what'll happen but those r less thought out and more throwing shit at the wall etc #but i've been thinking a lot ab this ep n idk i just can't see any other way it could be done satisfyingly -- they can't just do 2016/2020 #again. the focus has to be elsewhere. i have some specifics thoughts on details but again those r kinda random n will be in another post #after bizarrely getting a lot of things right this szn i know a lot of people are looking to me to see what i'll say for this ep and let me #remind yall that I AM LITERALLY JUST GUESSING BASED ON MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE SHOW AND HOW NARRATIVES #TEND TO WORK PARTICULARLY IN SUCCESSION! if i am wrong which i very well might be please do not crucify me. i know literally #nothing more than anyone else i'm just a random english/gov major who likes speculating about media ! that said if i end up right again #somehow then yes i am a prophet i am jesse armstrong i have never been wrong about anything in my life. etc #watch this age so poorly tho.#LOL #also fwiw i dont think the Shock etc is going to come from the election results - maybe possibly from the way things happen (i could see a #line of miscommunication resulting in fucked up outcomes etc which i can get into in another post) or a roy sibs moment but i just #don't think there's any way the results themselves cld be surprising. it's jimenez or mencken. it's not gonna be connor guys.#succession #succession spoilers #except not really. just succession speculation more than anything else #long post #succession speculation #100

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thatmultifandomchick · 11 months

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diversity win! the man who tried to wipe out the boiling isles is autistic!

#i said what i said #philip wittebane #the owl house #toh #autism headcanon #evil autism #diversity win #funny #am i right #or am i right #owl house memes #violence rage murder #he’s so yippee #i’m autistic so i know what i’m talking about #don’t crucify me for this

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chuuyanakaahara · 10 months

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BSD PET PEEVES i have things to say…

- anyone who calls the akutagawa siblings emo. they are goth <3 thank you

- people who dismiss chuuya’s strength and act like he’s incapable of existing without dazai/make him dainty as if he isnt a straight up God

- PEOPLE WHO HATE SIGMA??

- dazai and atsushi as a ship terrifies me 🫡. same as atsushi x kyouka like they are Family

- just bsd tiktok in general

i cant think of anymore rn but anyway would love to hear your thoughts

okay these are all so fucking fair tho ?? i get that canonically chuuya doesn't have a god in him and it's his singularity but also you gotta remember Stormbringer happened and this dude got drugged electrocuted tortured and had a chunk of his hair ripped out and kept going like it was nothing.

personally i dont have much of an opinion of what most people ship (i can see so many ships). i don't really Understand the appeal of dazatsu ? but i can still see how people know it yknow. atsukyo is straight up like. illegal. i do not like that. my gauge on ships is usually that i don't mind them if they aren't illegal but of course i have my personal exceptions and such.

PEOPLE HATE SIGMA??? sigma is just some Guy cmon!!

#cherri.txt #i am SO aware that some of these would get be crucified on bsd twt or bsdtok #like. i don't mind oda / zai <- censoring it bc i dont want it in their tags since it ain't content #its not my cup of tea but i don't mind it yknow #send me ur bsd pet peeves :3 #ur so right abt the chuuya one tho #as far as the aku siblings go i can see that. i think gin would be punk but i don't think people making fun of them particularly care -

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satanic-fruitcake · 9 months

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talked to the national career service today it went a little like this

“have you had a job?” no. “work experience?” yes. “can you remember the name of the company?” no. “can you remember the year?” no. “can you remember what duties you had?” no. “are you well organised?” no. “do you make plans and stick to them?” no.

“well no one can say you’re not honest! 😆”

what if i set myself on fire. what if i just laid down and died right here right now .

#guy who isn’t good at anything can’t remember anything has no work experience . suffering #am i not supposed to answer questions honestly #i keep asking that question and people keep telling me no and every time it surprises me #sorry i don’t wanna work in a museum so i spoke my mind. am i to be crucified?#suicide ment #(hyperbolic)#your daily dose of idiocy #‘its not about lying it’s about presenting the truth in a positive light with the right words!’#okay. i don’t know how to do that either. and right now i’d rather set myself on fire than learn. hope this helps 👍

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tiktaalic · 4 months

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Girls will be like yeah so basically Taylor swift has eradicated all attempts at creativity in favor of seamlessly merging her IDENTITY to PRODUCT and I will give accolades where accolades are due. She has been very successful at this probably the most successful person on earth at this and all it cost her is her soul. And it DID cost a soul. You could make a graph between amount of streams and quality of work and see so clearly the inverse relationship materialize before your eyes. She was not born a hack but embraced the life of a hack when she realized she would be more popular with platitudes and dialing back on oversharing and being less messy. If you replace personhood with producthood you lose your humanity but your album sales go fuuuucking crazy. I can make overtures at understanding this by reminding myself she was crucified for being a person for years and years and she has been very vocal about it doing a heavy number on her psyche. Maybe when that happens to you as a teenager the trade off seems less revolting. Getting rid of something you’re mocked for having anyway and in return you are richer and more famous than anyone has any right to be. But then I scratch my head. And go but surely you see that this is a deal with the devil. Surely with the contract laid out in front of you. You gnaw your lip. You hesitate. You follow the letter of the law but skirt the spirit of it for brief shining moments. And when she’s so publicly had misogynistic vitriol levied at her. So often for so long. IS it misogynistic for your criticisms to boil down to “she’s not likable enough for me”? At what dollar amount does a millionaire going on billionaire become a public object rather than a person? Does the fact that she’s slowly revoked access to herself change this? Is it more or less human to orchestrate your life so that paparazzi only sees you on planned outings where you look impeccable and have a message to send and you are Taylor Swift The Brand after you’ve been scarred by years of being Taylor swift the young woman in the tail end of the aughts and the 2010s ripped to shreds scrutinized for every choice and smile and dress and man? Is there a passable essay in the title Taylor Swift Doesn’t Owe You Authenticity. Maybe! but doesn’t she as an artist work at a job where she’s supposed to produce. Art? It sounds like I’m asking for ballads but I’m really not I’m asking for a song that is good. Im asking for a cruel summer which is irreplicable but surely the minds behind it can produce something more than snow on the fucking beach? Or am I overestimating the continued talent of a woman who is the platonic ideal of a target shopper? Is it misogynistic to believe the platonic ideal of a target shopper can’t create with a soul? How to talk about the fall off of Taylor swift in a woman honoring way?

five minutes later. You can’t spell awesome without ME!

#is Len a swiftie the greatest thread in the history of forum locked after ten thousand pages of debate #original punch line was please don’t be in love with someone else please don’t have somebody waiting on you.#but it’s funnier to use a bad song that I do go crazy to.#t swift #etxt

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mcflymemes · 1 month

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THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT - THE ANTHOLOGY BY TAYLOR SWIFT PROMPT LIST * assorted lyrics from the album, some lines slightly adapted for meme purposes but feel free to adjust as necessary

even if it's handcuffed, i'm leaving here with you.

trust me. i can handle a dangerous man.

i love you. it's ruining my life.

does it feel all right to not know me?

i am who i am 'cause you trained me.

quick. tell me something awful.

i loved you the way that you were.

we were just kids, babe.

i can fix him.

you and i go from one kiss to getting married.

you said i'm the love of your life.

way up there, i actually love it.

i just don't understand how you don't miss me.

do you hate me?

did you think i had it in me?

what if i told you i'm back?

i still miss the smoke.

i'm not trying to exaggerate, but i think i might die if it happened.

you look like stevie nicks.

it's hell on earth to be heavenly.

i still can't believe it.

this happens once every few lifetimes.

didn't you hear? they called it all off.

it's happening again.

my friends say it isn't right to be scared.

i might just die.

fuck you if i can't have us.

tell me about the first time you saw me.

are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me?

no one's ever had me... not like you.

stay away from her.

there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you.

i don't think you've changed much.

that's where i was when i lost it all.

life was always easier on you than it was on me.

i hoped you'd return.

do you believe me now?

what if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time?

what are the chances you'd be downtown?

is it something i did?

oh, we must stop meeting like this.

they say what doesn't kill you makes you aware.

i'm not a donor, but i'd give you my heart if you needed it.

looking backwards might be the only way to move forwards.

the story isn't mine anymore.

what a charming saturday!

none of it is changing.

wild winds are death to the candle.

one bad seed kills the garden.

i'm bitter, but i swear i'm fine.

this place made me feel worthless.

i didn't want to come down.

everything had been above board.

blood's thick, but nothing like a payroll.

you can mark my words that i said it first.

the professor said to write what you know.

all of this to say, i hope you're okay.

your words are still just ringing in my head.

i built a legacy which you can't undo.

who do i have to speak to to change the prophecy?

the effects were temporary.

no, i'm not coming to my senses.

babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it.

you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

i guess a lesser woman would've lost hope.

thought of calling you, but you won't pick up.

you're a professional.

long may you reign.

you're an animal. you are bloodthirsty.

now i seem to be scared to go outside.

i don't believe in good luck.

i hate it here.

if i'd been there, i'd hate it.

only the gentle survived.

i'm lonely, but i'm good.

you have no room in your dreams for regrets.

i thought it was just goodbye for now.

are you still a mind reader?

let it once be me.

i haven't decided yet.

i still dream of him.

i'm so afraid i sealed my fate.

it was always the same searing pain.

i can't forgive the way you made me feel.

it wasn't a fair fight or a clean kill.

she used to say she wished that you were dead.

tell me all your secrets.

they tried to warn you about me.

you're in terrible danger.

i'm the life you chose.

yes, i'm haunted, but i'm feeling just fine.

no one asks any questions here.

tell me i'm despicable. say it's unforgivable.

i'm running back home to you.

you should see your faces.

you knew the price going in.

was any of it true?

who the fuck was that guy?

i don't ever want you back.

did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

you don't get to tell me you feel bad.

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

am i allowed to cry?

there's no such thing as bad thoughts. only your actions talk.

they're going to crucify me anyway.

i know i'm just repeating myself.

that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.

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memecucker · 1 year

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St Andrew: I am not worthy to have the same manner of death as our Lord so if you must crucify me then may I request you turn the cross upside down?

Roman guard: Oh is this like a thing or something with you guys? We were just talking about how that Peter guy asked the same thing in Rome

St Andrew: What the fuck? Are you serious? This was my idea first and I told him about it and Peter goes off and does it before me?What a fucking asshole uhhhh what about an X shape can you do an X shape like that’s still a pair of wooden beams right

Roman guard: I mean, an X would be a entirely different thing and I’ve never designed something to asphyxiate hanging from an X but, ok you know what that sucks your friend stole your idea and did it first so sure we can make it work

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unbearableblog · 5 months

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My Christmas gift for you.

Messages (Carmen Berzatto x reader)

Summary Carmy’s actions towards the reader might eventually lead to consequences.

Word count ~2,8k

Warnings 18+, No use of Y/N (there is rarely a name but it’s just for aesthetics, you are welcome to insert your own name), action set in S2 so possible spoilers, cursing, angst, relationship problems, possible mentions of smut

A/N God this took a lot from me! Legit flew to Copenhagen haha. I am very grateful to each and every one of you who read, liked, commented or reposted and supported this! I would never think that this would happen. I hope you’re not going to crucify me over the plot. Thank you so much for waiting!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Chapter 1 (the one with departure, Denmark, and desserts)

Things were a little different at the Beef lately.

“Richie, shut the fuck up!”

“You first, child!”

Well, maybe not so different. But they certainly were different with you. Amongst the neverending screaming, cursing, and fighting, you somehow survived getting shot at, losing the power, dealing with the IRS, and everything else that constantly went wrong with this cursed place. The amount of experience you had in this short amount of time has topped anything you've done before. You couldn't catch your breath. But that's what you do for the ones you love, right?

It's been some time since you started helping Carmen with the Beef - serving the customers on a particularly busy day, calming down Carmen, sometimes giving Richie a pep talk when he needed to keep his shit together. But mostly you just chatted with Sydney and sat in the kitchen, doing your college assignments while watching Carmen work. You could never get tired of it - he looked so professional and smart. It was his element. Well, when everything was going well.

The entire time, you were there, talking to Carmen as he prepped for the day, giving him a smile and getting one back, just watching him go on about his day and move so swiftly like a well-oiled machine. Seeing him in an apron drove you wild. You'd have to stop yourself from going up to him and touching his god-given curls or rubbing his back through his white T-shirt (but more often you failed to do so). Most of the days you patiently waited to go home and show him everything that was on your mind all day.

One time he caught you staring, mind far away from the Beef. His voice brought you back.

“Are you thinking about my fingers again?” He said while putting his arms at his hips, almost offended.

You bit your lip and looked at him with a guilty smile.

His hand went up to brush through his curls.

“You’re not gonna get any work done if you keep thinking about that. And with the way you look at me, can say the same thing about myself.”

You whine and playfully pout, not wanting to keep studying.

“Come on, princess,” he comes closer to you and whispers in your ear so that his whole voice goes through your body and his lips brush your ear “And when we get home you can tell me all about it while you sit on my ‘pretty’ cock”

Sometimes he would explain what he was doing or why things weren't going the way they were supposed to, sometimes you would share something you found fascinating in your assignment. He would always listen, even if he didn't fully understand, but you knew he was trying to. It made you feel so special - you got the whole attention of this hot 3 Michelin star chef, covered in tattoos and buff, but he looked at you with such care and softness. His muscular arms touched and wrapped around you with strong tenderness and appreciation. Sometimes you saw the same attention to the details in the food he was making - he really cared.

Everything changed after the Beef closed down.

Carmen was a little taken aback when you told him you were going to Copenhagen with Marcus. You were at the restaurant, like any other day, figuring out a thousand things that were wrong before the opening, when you heard Denmark being mentioned amongst the guys.

“Someone's going to Denmark?” you asked, turning around on your chair.

“Marcus is,” Carmen brushed off, and continued having his conversation with him.

“Wait, to Copenhagen? Why?” you felt ignored.

“Uhh, to learn everything about desserts,” Marcus answered. Carmen didn't even look in your direction.

“When? Why didn't you tell me?” you sounded excited because you were, but your heart felt like it was placed into an iron cage. Carmen knew how much that city meant to you, and to not even mention that your friend was going there felt neglectful. But maybe you were overreacting - he was probably busy, he doesn't have to tell you everything, and it surely wasn't for long anyway.

Berzatto shrugged his shoulders. “Why? It's just for some time.”

“I was actually thinking about going there too. I haven't seen my sister in a while. Maybe we could fly together? I know everything there,” you were ready to help Marcus as a bonus. You really appreciated him as a friend, and returning the favor for all those delicious pastries he made at your request would be terrific. You could also use a fucking break from Chiberia.

“For real? That would be awesome!” Marcus exclaimed with his arms, his smile releasing your heart from its prison.

“Uhh… yeah-yeah, sure, I guess,” Carmen squinted his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “I- uhhh, have to go out for a minute. Umm,” he swallowed “-meet that rep for me, yeah?”

An entire work shift of flying has gone by the time you started seeing the bronze-roofed houses sprinkled like decorations on a Red Velvet cake. You made Marcus promise you not to judge the country by its airport, as it usually was surprisingly dirty. Nevertheless, there were hints of what life there was like - a burst of energy, culture, and flavour. You walked what seemed like forever through the endless white halls with blue sections, wondering how many times Carmen had been here and whether you ever crossed paths. You kind of wished he was there. Your excitement rubbed off on your friend - Marcus was beaming with happiness, anticipating your time there. He knew it was going to be life-changing.

The moment you went outside felt like you could breathe again. The weight of The Beef, Carmen, stress, problems problems problems dropped off, was left behind, and never got on the plane. Your chest wasn't encircled by snakes that only pushed until you suffocated. Your mind was clear.

You helped Marcus settle in his awesome boat, and after reading the owner's note to "keep the water in Coco's bowl", searched for the cat for like 20 minutes. Unfortunately, your efforts were fruitless.

Marcus only let you go back alone because you assured him of your safety (you gave him a speech about how it wasn't like Chicago) and experience. Still, he made you text him when you got to your sister's. The two of you were always trying to make your relationship work, but the distance didn't make it easy. That did not mean that you were going to give up - you were used to making a lot of effort for the people you love. She was ecstatic and grateful to see her little sister. The rest of the evening was spent eating, sharing your lives, and talking about your mysterious boyfriend.

“I don’t know, he’s just so… distant. He always leaves somewhere, does god knows what when he knows we don’t have much time! Sometimes it feels like I care about the restaurant more than him. Which is so weird because he was so into it before! He planned the whole thing! And I am so fucking stressed from it all! I never even wanted to work in a restaurant but I was there for him!” you expressed your pain very loudly.

“Have you thought of… breaking up with him?”

You exhale and almost completely give up mentally.

“I don’t know… it feels like we don’t have much of a relationship at all anymore. We don’t go out, all the time is spent on the opening. I swear sometimes I’m there just for our friends and his sister, I can’t just leave them without help while he’s wandering somewhere”.

You couldn’t sleep because being in bed without Carmy by your side felt plain wrong. You were also jetlagged which meant that the peaceful world of Morpheus was avoiding you like a plague. The same thing happened to Marcus, so you both were just texting about what you were doing.

“idk, i gave up and went to get some tea” you typed, a warm mug in your hand as you cozied up on the couch with a blanket.

“yeah, same shit here. bout time to get ready anyway”

Your whole house was asleep, and probably would be so for a while. It was too dark to go out for your liking. Boredom kind of crept in.

“what is it exactly u're gonna do there?”

“uhhh i wish i knew. make some things from the pics i showed u i guess”

“can i watch?” Was it too much of a request? Who even knows if you'll be allowed there?

“yeah i think so. i'd love to not have to do this alone”

You smile, finish your tea, and get up to find some clothes.

You finally reached the place and were met by a tall man in an apron. He introduced himself as Luca, and you heard a very sultry voice softened by an accent. You wondered where he was from.

“I'm Chef Marcus. That's Liv. Is it cool if she just hangs around and watches me?”

“Hi,” you smile at him.

“Hello. You could also join in. What kind of a chef are you?”

“Oh I'm not, I'm -”

“Well, with the amount of time Liv spends in our kitchen listening to every word of the CDC, I'd say she might as well be a chef by now,” Marcus only half-jokes. You give him a look anyway.

Luca prepared everything and soon he and Marcus were working. You were sitting on the other side of the table, able to see everything. Only now you were starting to notice how strong he was, you have to be, you thought, if you stay on your feet all day. His arms were also covered in tattoos that didn't seem to make sense, like Carmy's.

“So who are you?” Luca's question doesn't sound rude, just curious.

“I'm his boss' girlfriend,” you nod as you speak.

“Wow,” he seems to be thinking something, but maybe it's just him being focused on putting the peanuts on dessert, “What are you doing here?”

“Uhh, visiting my sister? It was time and I thought Marcus here could use someone to show him around. As for here, I was really jetlagged and bored.”

Luca was amazing. The way he coached Marcus even when he made mistakes was consistently calm, stern, and leading. Not once did any of you feel berated or hear his voice go louder, all you knew was to just try again. His entire presence excreted stability and equilibrium.

After an extensive lesson, it was Marcus' turn to try. All of you leaned closer to the dessert in hopes of seeing more. You held your breath as you watched Marcus carefully place a tiny piece in the clockwise direction of the dessert when in the blurred background of your vision you felt something change. Instinctively, you looked up from the dish, and your eyes met the gaze of your friend's teacher. There he was, almost lying on the table, looking at you. As if he wasn't busy right now. As if the dessert didn't matter. Hypnotized. “Got it!” Marcus smiled and stood straight up. “Great job, chef,” Luca switched back to Marcus.

Suddenly a firework of spice embraced you in its scent, making your head go round from the all-encompassing desire to taste it.

“Oh my god, are those cinnamon buns?” you had to put your hands on the counter to keep yourself up. “Yeah,” Luca stood straight. “You like them?” “They smell amazing!” you could swear you saw a quick prideful smile brush Luca's lips.

“They are her favourite. And she's very specific about'em too,” Marcus threw you under the bus.

Luca seems interested. “In what way?”

“I'm not, okay? I just believe that cinnamon buns should have a lot of sugar and cinnamon, or else they're just buns. There was this place near the park, and the pastry they sold was like 90% dough. I didn't like that at all” you defend yourself, and Marcus scoffs, having heard you rant about it many times at The Beef.

“Abomination,” Luca shakes his head.

“Exactly! I love it when there is so much sugar that it's oozing out, that's how it'd supposed to be.”

Your lighthearted banter somehow led to Luca opening up and talking about his life and experience. He also shared a couple of stories about determination, his acceptance of not being the best, and some of his failures. Soon all of you were joking around and laughing at your pasts. You felt your heart warm up to him and thought that leaving the house was a good idea.

Marcus stepped outside to check on his mom. He called her sitter as often as he could, and every time you hoped that everything would be alright. Luca was silently doing his work, kneading some dough. It was a demanding process, but so meditative, and you couldn't help but float away watching his big hands grab and squeeze the smooth dough, throwing it back onto the table occasionally, his long fingers dug into it, leaving an impression. “So where is he now?” you ask. “Who?” “The chef who was better than you. Where is he now?” you wondered if Carmen knew him or told you about him. “Well, you tell me. Apparently, opening up a new restaurant,” the chef said, as he threw a careless nod in your direction. Huh? Your heart drops. What? You let out a nervous scoff. “You're saying it was… Carmen??” Your question was met with a simple nod as he kept working. “Carmen Berzatto, the chef that was better than you at everything?” you almost spell out. Luca just takes his eyes off the dough and watches your reaction. He is also confused. “God, he really is the best?” the question sounds more like an exhale. “People keep saying it, but I guess I didn't realize” you sit down, defeated, and stare off. Your mind keeps pacing - what happened to Carmen? How did he go from being the best to being a yelling mess of chaos? Why is someone who looked up to him so calm and collected but still successful? Why can't he be like that? “You sound surprised. What, he doesn't feel like it?” He asks while kneading the dough, this time slower and a little softer. You look at him, then shake your head away and look down. You want to tell him everything about the way Carmen treats you, and how different that is from what your beginning used to be, how he doesn't appreciate you even though you spent so much time in and on The Beef, and how unfair that is, and have his deep voice tell you the answer, but you can't. That would be weird. Luca notices your hesitation. “You know, when we worked together, he would often be… difficult,” there is a pause after he says it because he is reading your face, trying to understand if he's walking on thin ice. He isn't, so he continues. “Partly why I didn't become better than him was because he wouldn't let me.” “Yeah, he shared something like that.” His brows went a little higher, and his grip on the dough hardened and stayed there. “My point is, being with a person like that can't be easy. Man, we only worked together and I already wanted to smother him, can't imagine being in a bloody relationship,” his smile makes you laugh and for a second you forget every bad thing in the world.

Later that day you wanted to call Carmen. “Carm, you free?” You wished to tell him everything - how much you loved the city, how nice his friend was, the fun you were having, and how good this was for you. Kinda wanted to beat his ass for being so mean to Luca too. “not rn, Liv, busy”

Of course.

“Olivia! Come here!” your sister screamed to get your attention. You noticed she was standing at the door, talking to somebody, so you got up and approached her. “What's up?” you asked. She closed the door and turned to you, holding something in her hands. “It's a gift from your boyfriend,” she said in a teasing tone, and you could swear that the last time you saw her that giddy was in high school. “What? How do you know?” A drop of hope celebrated its birth in your chest. “The delivery guy said it's from a chef,” the last word she playfully stretched out, so it came out a little funny, like Tina says it. You couldn't believe it. There it was, a white box carefully tied with a red ribbon. Finally Carmen realised how distracted he was and decided to apologize. Obviously, you were gone, so he missed you. Your heart filled with warmth and you smiled to yourself - you knew things would get better. You take the hefty precious gift from your sister's hands, sit on the couch, and open it with anticipation. Inside, 9 breathtaking gourmet cinnamon rolls with caramelized sugar barely fitting, leaking out of the mouthwatering, well-kneaded dough. And a note.

"You deserve all the best in the world - Luca"

I hope you enjoyed it! Part 2 might come quicker if you comment how you liked it

Snippet from the next chapters

🏷️ Tagged everyone in the comments! If you want to be excluded, just let me know♥️ @carma-fanficaddict @eternallyvenus @sia2raw @helloheyhihowdyheya @soursopsista @m1dnightsnackz @custarrds

Dividers by @saradika

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kanmom51 · 1 month

Text

Public service notice

Remember how I said I haven't blocked you just yet @chaotickoalacat ?

Well, got your reply ask, and let me tell you this:

I'm really tempted to do it right now.

I am not going to answer this ask, more so because I know how you will be literally crucified in the comments not only for the utter nonsense you are spewing but the way you are doing so.

I will address a couple of things you are saying though. Because seriously dude, I'm in utter shock as to how you are actually able to come up with this stuff.

You believe MHJ? Really?

You tell me that because she created NJ then her saying that Illit are copying her then that's it? It must be true? She also said that BTS copied her concepts in the past, that true too? You are aware of the fact that she is all about the visuals and has nothing to do with the music part of things, right? Just checking.

And in the same breath you are also full on acknowledging that she was the one behind the BTS leaks, including the damaging leak of JM's private info.

So, let me get this straight, you have no issue in believing a person that is untrustworthy and moved to hurt your fave, as long as it suits your current agenda? Seriously? I kind of think that once untrustworthy always untrustworthy. Or in your world is it once untrustworthy sometimes trust worthy as long as what's coming out of their mouth is what I want to hear?

Btw, you most definitley showed your true colours with the whole "JK's fling" idiocy. Prey tell me what does it say about JM, or more so, what does it say about what you think about JM if he sticks by JK's side while JK, in your warped mind, is an untrustworthy copy cat cheater? You must think so highly of JM for sticking by JK's side when JK treats him like shit (according to your warped views).

And let me make my views clear as day here. JK did not copy JM nor is JK an asshole cheater that can't keep his dick to himself. Balloon busted for you, I guess.

And yes, we are both BTS fans (or are we? cause you seem to be a solo stan and not a fan of BTS the band and all it's members), but clearly you lack the basic emotional intelligence that someone who is mature enough and with some life and long term relationship experience has. Either you are very young and inexperienced or for some reason lack that healthy relationship experience. Because thinking so low of JK and yet believing at the same time that JM would stick around someone like that, yeah, there is something lacking in your life experience. Maybe no experience, maybe bad experience, maybe too much Kdrama watching experience. Whichever it is, please, do not try and compare us.

There is NO comparison.

You say that you don't view JM as a damsel in distress, that he is a strong person, stronger than JK seeing how well he did in the army. Let me start by saying what a load of bull (not the him being strong part, but the part where you claim you aren't out to 'save' him). He's strong when it suits you, which is when you want to prove he's better than JK and/or the others (I'll get into how disgusting and disrespectful that comparison you are making is in a second). But at the same time he, supposedly in your fantasy world, allows JK and the company to step all over him, to copy his ideas and creativity and to scorn him and mess around with others, and continues to play along with their game, of showing up for JK, going on trips with him, enlisting with him even after he's supposedly, again, been mistreated, disrespected, cheated on. I would kind of suggest that you make up your mind which is it?

As for this constant comparison with the others when it comes to their army service, I've been vocal about this in the past and I will say it again. It sickens me how disrespectful you are towards not only the other BTS members, each and every one of them doing their utmost best within their army placement, but it's disrespectful towards every single other SK young man that is doing their compulsory military service. How easy it is sitting on your comfy chair in the safety of your own home or wherever it is you are sitting, which isn't an actual war zone, behind your screen and keyboard, grading these young men that have left their lives behind for 18 months to enlist into active duty in a military that is at war with another country. Please have more respect not only for every single one of the members (each serving at their utmost best within their assigned duties) but also for all the other young men that are doing just the same. JM is amazing, he's assigned duties are utilizing his high level of intelligence and mathematical abilities. Kudos to him for excelling at it. But why is it so hard for you to say that and at the same time say the same about each and every other member? Why is there this need not only to uplift one, but to do so at the expense of the other, diminishing what the other is doing? This whole attitude is just so childish and stupid. And you know what? Like I said, it's disrespectful not only to the other members and to every single other soldier, but also to JM, who doesn't need to bring down the others to show just how amazing he is.

This is it. Let me make this as clear as day that even if I end my sentences with a question mark, it's a rhetorical question and not an invitation for your response. I will not reply to any more asks you might throw my way. Obviously you are intrenched in your ideas and opinions, as warped and unhealthy as they may be.

Good luck trying to save JM from the one person he is showing us all that he wants to spend every second, every minute, every hour with.

And good luck with it all when Jikook Karma strikes, cause it's coming and it's coming strong, and when it does come well, all those that lack the respect to either JK or JM, those who are willfully closing their eyes and ears to what they have been showing and telling us for years now...

...the day is coming when it can no longer be ignored.

#jikook #kookmin #minkook #jungkook #jimin #jm #jk #jikook karma

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oceansprompts · 11 months

Text

text message prompts

[text] You okay?

[text] GO TO BED!

[text] hey you better be alive in there

[text] SOS save me please holy shit

[text] call me this date is going so bad

[text] I have way too much shit to do.

[text] Honestly I'm really worried about you.

[text] Why are you trending on Twitter?

[text] Please let me come over and pet your (pet).

[text] We are in the same building, you could come talk to me.

[text] It's not going to work out.

[text] This is a terrible idea.

[text] people have fetishes

[text] They really do crucify anyone these days huh

[text] I don't know why but that really means me want to stab you

[text] That movie was awful.

[text] For the love of god please help me

[text] I fucked up. I fucked up really bad.

[text] I'm blocking you.

[text] YOU ONE BRAINCELLED BITCH

[text] I regret swiping right.

[text] Everyone lies on their dating profiles.

[text] That absolutely can't be an actual picture of you.

[text] This forced open my third eye and I saw the devil

[text] I'm like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride

[text] That's just all fucking sorts of fucked up

[text] Why are we here? To suffer? Every other day I get messages that cause pain

[text] In the department of old man fucking, we've got you beat.

[text] have you gotten any work done?

[text] I am beyond shame, try again

[text] You left your left your underwear at my place.

[text] Don't you dare put this on Facebook.

[text] My brother in Christ you're being haunted

[text] I want to wring you like a wet towel and slap you against a wall

[text] The mind is weak but the body is funky

[text] I'm a zombie the law can't stop me.

[text] Jealous of my massive honkers

[text] We left you to die to play minecraft

[text] She would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats

[text] I puked all over the Uber driver's backseat.

[text] I just took a screenshot of that and posted it to Reddit

[text] You said you'd be right back and it's been months.

[text] Can't we talk about this face to face?

[text] Yeah, you'll come learn I just have a thing for milk

[text] Why did you like one of my pics from 2014?

[text] Now's as good a time as any to exchange nudes.

[text] Why would you send me an eggplant emoji?

[text] I write five paragraphs, pouring my heart out, and all you reply with is k?!

[text] Who would dare to lie on the internet?

[text] When I die, please delete all my shit off the internet

[text] He's so hot, I briefly started texting like a straight person

[text] And because I'm god and I've decided that; no, in fact, I'm not done.

[text] I know you love bloopy reggae jams, now is not the time.

[text] You better not be standing catatonic in your room again.

[text] God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.

[text]: My neighbor just told me he can fix my water heater for 50 bucks. I’m skeptical.

[text]: Do you have any idea how much it costs to buy apples? I paid 10 dollars for 6.

[text]: I mean, I wouldn’t say I have a problem with buying Squishmallows..

[text]: Hey, so you know how you told me no dog? *sends pic* I don’t do well with no’s.

[text] Stuart Little is a bitch and Remy could take him any day.

[text]: My roommate just said that Lola Bunny is hot. I’m moving out.

[text]: Hey I posted that vid of you drunk, singing Ariana Grande, wearing all black and people said not to do it again. Sorry.

[text]: Do you think the price is ever right? Like, I feel like it’s not.

[text]: I booped your nose. Boop the last five people you texted or–nothing happens really.

[text]: I’m actually in the ER and it’s a long story that involves Best Day Ever from spongebob.

[text]: I fucking hate you–wait you’re not my ex. Who are you?

[text]: You ever ask yourself if birds see a bee and just go ‘wow a bee’? im high.

[text]: sometimes all i think about is–sour patch kids. bet you thought it was you.

[text]: I love you—not as much as I love my dog. But still a lot!

[text]: I found a cat on the way home and now it’s mine. But it hates my guts so this should be fun.

[text]: I have questions about the marvel cinematic universe…how long do you have?

[text]: why do donald duck and winnie the pooh not have to wear pants but other people do?

[text]: Hey you know that show floor is lava? I may have turned the apartment into that..this isn’t a joke, btw. the floor is sticky.

[text]: I bought too much soap off etsy and now I don’t know what to do with it…I smell like Captain America.

[text]: On a scale of one to ten, how many drinks would you need to sleep with me? This isn’t a tiktok trend…or it is.

#rp sentence meme #roleplay memes #sentence meme #sentence starters #text message prompts

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tsams-confessions · 1 month

Note

Sun and Lunar are like mirror parallels but the show and the fans don't seem to get this, and it drives me crazy! They both had controlling brothers who belittled them and hit them. But when Moon did it to Sun it was played as a joke or was excused by other characters. Meanwhile when Lunar got hit, Monty and Moon both were there to comfort him and treated it very seriously. I remember being so shocked that these two, who abused Sun for years, had suddenly done a 180 for Lunar. And the hypocrisy never even got addressed! Lunar said something one time to Moon about how he hit Sun, but it got brushed off and then never mentioned ever again.

Lunar took over Moon and forced him into his head, and even hurt him on purpose. He did these things knowingly, whereas Sun never had a choice. And yet Moon tortured Sun for years but never once was mean to Lunar. It just felt so weird and I waited for weeks and months waiting for it to be brought up, but it never was. It's no wonder Sun always seemed a bit disconnected from Lunar. Heck, he never even got asked if he wanted him to be a brother, Moon just decided and told Sun. Like always, Sun never got a say in anything. And I am still so mad that NONE OF IT ever got pointed out! Ever!

And then when Sun wanted to kill Eclipse, Lunar insulted Sun by saying he was just like his abuser. Yes, HIS abuser because Eclipse abused Sun too, but everyone forgets that. And Lunar said he was just like him, and then went and implied that he knew Moon better than Sun. Because he lived in Moon's head. Well Sun did too, for longer! But Lunar basically said he knows Moon better?! I was so mad at Lunar in that episode, and it obviously triggered Sun. And all he did was tell Lunar to shut up. And then he got crucified by the fans over it. I remember how much people hated Sun, it made me so mad. And even to this day Sun carries that guilt, when he shouldn't! He didn't even make Lunar run off, Eclipse did. But does Lunar ever tell Sun that? Nope! Just lets Sun apologize to him multiple times when he comes back, and then has the audacity to say he wasn't sure if he could forgive Sun yet!!!! AHHH!!

And let's not even mention how when Sun gets an attitude, or is angry or even just mean, then he's a bitch and annoying and whiny. But when Lunar does he's sassy and a poor baby who deserves to get angry or violent. When Sun is withdrawn from everyone he's a huge jerk but when Lunar is withdrawn then it's excused because he's suffering. Basically Lunar and Sun are so much alike and yet time after time Lunar is favored by the characters and the fans, and Sun is just annoying or wrong, no matter what.

I could write so much more and I might in the future, but for now I'll stop my complaining. I just get so mad seeing all this "Lunar was right to kill Eclipse!" talk when this time last year people were calling Sun irredeemable and a villain for trying to do the same thing. Heck, even during his breakdown back then everyone was busy having sympathy for Lunar and Moon, and just calling Sun crazy. It drove me absolutely crazy then and it is now because we're seeing the same thing happening only this time because it's Lunar, he's a poor justified abuse survivor. But when it was Sun he was crazy and evil. And the worst part is the show CONTINUES to miss this fact! That Sun and Lunar are parallels! They just keep missing it or maybe they're doing it on purpose??? I want to scream!!!

#sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #sams #tsams confession #< block this if you dont want to see these #mod 1blood

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wingedblooms · 1 month

Text

Elain Archeron, member of The Tortured Poets Department

i’m hearing voices like a madman - so high school

i’m seeing visions / am I bad or mad or wise? - guilty as sin?

you can mark my words that I said it first / in a mourning warning, no one heard - cassandra

and for a fortnight there, we were forever - fortnight

leaving me bereft and reeling / my beloved ghost and me / sitting in a tree / d-y-i-n-g - how did it end?

i saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist - so long, london

i cry a lot, but I am so productive, it's an art - i can do it with a broken heart

but my bare hands paved their paths / you don't get to tell me about "sad" - who’s afraid of little old me?

so I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street / crash the party like a record scratch as I scream / "who's afraid of little old me?" / you should be - who’s afraid of little old me?

i hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind - i hate it here

one slip and fallin' back into the hedge maze […] i keep recalling things we never did - guilty as sin?

these fatal fantasies / giving way to labored breath, takin' all of me / we’ve already done it in my head / if it's make-believe / why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow? - guilty as sin?

wise men once said / "one bad seed kills the garden" / "one less temptress, one less dagger to sharpen" / locked me up in towers / but I'd visit in your dreams / and they tried to warn you about me - the albatross

a rose by any other name is a scandal / cautions issued, he stood - the albatross

i spied the catch in your breath - i look in people’s windows

what if I roll the stone away? / they’re gonna crucify me anyway / what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy? - guilty as sin?

"stay away from her" / the saboteurs protested too much - but daddy i love him

crashin' into him tonight, he's a paradox - guilty as sin?

it’s happenin' again / how did it end? / i can't pretend like I understand - how did it end?

this cage was once just fine / am I allowed to cry? / i dream of crackin' locks - guilty as sin?

thought I caught lightning in a bottle / oh, but it's gone again […] please / i’ve been on my knees / change the prophecy / don't want money / just someone who wants my company / let it once be me - the prophecy

cards on thе table / mine play out like fools in a fablе […] poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand / oh, still I dream of him - the prophecy

lilac short skirt, the one that fits me like skin […] and I'll tell you one thing, honey / i can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean - imgonnagetyouback

i, i hear thе whispers in your eyes / i’ll make you wanna think twice / you'll find that you were never not mine / (you’re mine) - imgonnagetyouback

'cause the sign on your heart / said it's still reserved for me / honestly, who are we to fight thе alchemy? - the alchemy

i'll tell you something right now / i’d rather burn my whole life down […] i'll tell you something 'bout my good name / it’s mine alone to disgrace / i don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing - but daddy i love him

if long-suffering propriety is what they want from me / they don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly / i choose you and me religiously - guilty as sin?

#elain archeron #member of the tortured poets department #elriel #ttpd lyrics #elain 🤝 taylor swift #the tortured poets department

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lavender-devotion · 2 months

Note

Hello! Would you be willing to write a radiapple fic of what might happen the first time Lucifer sees Alastor’s antlers fall off because theyre shedding? I love the idea of them being mid-argument and one of them just pops off all of a sudden

oooooooooh, I've never done a ship fic before, but I LOVE this! I hope my writing lives up to your expectations <3 sorry if this one is shorter than my other fics, I'm not used to writing for ships

Summary: Lucifer expected a lot of things when it came to his arguments with Alastor, but one thing he didn't expect was to be interrupted by Alastor's antlers suddenly shedding...or to end up in his room helping him through the process. Also, what the fuck is this feeling in his chest?

Tags: RadioApple, Lucifer is feeling things and he is Not Happy about it, Enemies to "what the fuck am I feeling," Wound Tending, lots of insults, I know nothing about deer or medical shit (don't crucify me pls), Southern Gothic, Alastor is from the South fuckers and I'll never shut up about it TW: Blood, Gore (slight?) Word Count: 2k Read it on Ao3 <3

Lucifer stared at the ground, the silence around him deafening.

It was an antler.

A fucking antler.

He had to be hallucinating.

He slowly looked up from the spot on the floor, where the...antler had fallen, and up to Alastor---who was now dead silent, and one antler short. Now that they weren't in the middle of the argument, Lucifer found that he couldn't actually remember why they were arguing in the first place, or what they were arguing about. And that...actually kind of pissed him off more.

Alastor was always irritating, always getting on Lucifer's nerves every chance he got, but it seemed that in the last week he'd been even worse than usual---an impressive thing in and of itself, let me tell you. At first he'd thought that Alastor just wanted to see just how far he could push him until he snapped. Now, though, Lucifer was surprised to find...it was actually a lot more innocent than that---if "innocent" was the right word for it.

His antlers were shedding, and---now that Lucifer knew what he was looking for---was clearly in pain, even though he was pretty good at disguising it as anger.

Lucifer considered his options for a moment before finally sighing and kneeling down to pick up the fallen antler, "come on, let's get that taken care of before it gets any worse."

Before Alastor could respond---likely to either refuse or insult him, or both---Lucifer stood back up and walked away, headed towards Alastor's room. Where he hoped he had the tools to deal with this problem. If not, this was about to get really awkward.

For a moment, he was walking alone---Alastor no doubt reeling and confused by everything that had just happened---but soon Lucifer heard a pair of quiet footsteps following behind him. So, at the very least, he was avoiding the embarrassment of headed to Alastor's room completely alone. Lucky him.

Thankfully, it didn't take long for them to make it there, so they avoided the attention and questions of the other residents---who would definitely take this the wrong way. And, now that he thought about it, trying to explain to Charlie that he was not going to Alastor's room to have sex with him was his worst nightmare. He'd rather fight Michael a second time, honestly.

So, with that in mind, Lucifer quickly made his way into the room and shut the door as soon as Alastor was inside---leaving the two of them completely alone. With none of the other residents around to provide a buffer, and the aggravation of an argument distracting him, Lucifer suddenly found himself feeling...very awkward, oddly enough.

"So..." he started, "do you have anything in here to help take care of..."

He gestured to Alastor's singular antler and, after a bout of silence, Alastor carefully shook his head, sitting down in one of the two armchairs in the room.

"It will fall off naturally," he said simply, sounding resigned to Lucifer's presence, "be patient."

Patience was never exactly Lucifer's forte, but it wasn't exactly like he had a choice. He could always leave, of course, but doing that right after he'd offered to help would make him look like an asshole---and, while he usually wouldn't give a shit whether or not Alastor thought he was an asshole, seeing him in this state made him feel a bit more...self-conscious. So, in an effort to keep things from getting too silent, he decided to ask some questions about...whatever the fuck was going on here.

"So...is this supposed to be painful?" he asked, fiddling with the ring still fitted on his left hand.

Alastor kept silent, staring critically at him for a moment---almost like he was trying to figure out if there was any way Lucifer could use the answer against him which, knowing him, was probably exactly it. Once he seemed to figure it out, he answered.

"On Earth? No. In Hell? Yes."

"Ah..."

What was Lucifer supposed to fucking say to that? "Sorry, I didn't mean to damn humanity to eternal suffering, my bad?" Seriously? Why did trying to have a conversation with this bastard have to be so fucking difficult?

"What…is this, exactly?”

Alastor looked at him like he was stupid, "as you could see, if you'd open your god-damned eyes, my antlers are shedding."

"Of all the fucking- yes I fucking know that, but why?!"

"When humans get sent to Hell we are given new forms, sometimes those forms include animalistic features," he explained slowly, getting on Lucifer's every nerve, "when they do, then the demon in question develops the traits that match their features. I've developed deer-like features, so therefore I've also developed some of the matching traits."

As much as Alastor's condescension aggravated him, Lucifer couldn't really say anything about it, considering that he hadn't known any of this in the first place. What could he say? Spending 99% of his time hidden away in his palace making toy ducks and looking forward to the next time he'd get to call Charlie meant that he didn't really know much about the people that inhabited his realm...or how any of it worked.

"So, what? Did you really like deer when you were alive or something?" He asked sarcastically, trying to push past the topic of his own ignorance. It wasn't something he was proud of.

Alastor's ears suddenly pinned back, so that definitely struck a nerve.

Lucifer grinned, 'interesting.'

"Oh, was that it? Were you a deer boy?" He pressed more, intentionally taking on the same condescending tone that Alastor had, just to get on his nerves.

"The hunter that shot me apparently thought I was a deer, you piss-haired imbecile."

"Oh really? Because I heard through the grapevine that you turn into exactly what you are when you get sent to Hell."

The hair on the back of Lucifer's neck stood up as a sharp static whine made its way to his ears, Alastor practically seething at him.

"Is that what you are," he continued, "prey? A scared little doe trying desperately to prove he's more than just a footnote in the food chain?"

Alastor stood up---eyes darkening and forming into radio dials, limbs elongating as a bright green lightning began to emanate from his shadows.

"Lis†̸̨͔̭̣͔͆͌̈́͊͝Ȩ̶̙̦̘̮̀͒͗̀̏̐ñ̸͉̟̺̬̞̋̏͑́̆ ̷͎͙̮̼̝̔̾͑̍̅H̸̗͇̤̤̗͛̈̆̓̿È̵̡̤̜̲̬͊̒̈́̉͝R̵̡̛̠͍̭͚͊̊̎̇Ę̶͓̫̰̪̀͐̃̊͊̈́ ̶̼͇͎̬̙̾̀͛͐̇¥̴̧̛͖͇͔̲̓̽͗͌Ö̸̝̦̦̙̣̐͋̇͒́Ú̸͚̮͍̺͚͌̈͌̾͘ ̴̥͎̰̣̳́̋̑̓̒Ļ̴̣͉̞̟̓̒̈́̋́Ì̷̖̳͉̳̯̒̒̇̈́̈†̸̬̱͓͙̜̄̅́̽͝†̴̡̧̝͔̳̑̏̒͊̚L̴͇͇̪̈́͆̌̓̉ͅͅÈ̴̡͉͖̗̟̆̀͆̿͝-"

He suddenly hissed and reverted back to normal, falling back into the chair as his antler, while trying to grow larger to match his form, had grown in the wrong place---pieces of antler now coated in blood and sticking...through Alastor's head.

And Lucifer's smugness at finally managing to get to him quickly dissipated, being replaced by the feeling of...being Hell's biggest jackass.

"Oh shit- hold on, I'm gonna- fuck," he rushed to Alastor's side, hands erratically moving all around him, but still not quite touching---unsure of what to do to help.

"Just...pull it out," Alastor hissed furiously, small streaks of blood running down his face.

Lucifer's eyes widened, "what?!"

There was just- there was no fucking way. The antler was still technically connected to his head, but it was basically hanging on by threads of...fuck, he didn't even know what that shit was! He didn't know fucking human/deer/demon biology! And the, now enlarged, antler was literally sticking through his fucking skull!!!

WHAT WAS HE SUPPOSED TO DO???

Alastor practically fucking snarled at him, pain making him near-delirious and livid---eyes darkening and tense shadows crawling frantically up the walls, almost like they were trying to escape the pain.

"Break off the £̶͈̖̰͈͙̎͋͆̉͠µ̶͇͕̰̻͉̈́̌̔͗̕¢̶͍̥̦̥̥̐̈́̓͝͝k̸̢̜̣̤͓̈́̓͑̆͠ï̸̖͚͍̯̝̀̿̓̔͝ņ̷̬̘̝͉̃́͋̓̕͠g̷͈͎͔̩̱̋̎̎̈́̇ base and maneuver it ou†̸͓̳̮̟̪͆̌̈̃͂ ̴̞̘̻̫͂̄̽̋͠ͅð̶̛̛̘̜̣̰̬̓̉̇£̵͙̝͓̞̗̂̓̅̆͝ ̵̡̜̥̬̭̈̌͛̐̕ḿ̵̠̮̦͙͎̄͋͋͐¥̵̛̼̖͈͒̑̆̀͜ͅ ̶̛͍̖̦̩̲̿̃̐̀H̴̡̤̮͔̪͊̒̓̉̑È̷̟͇͔͓͇̀̄̿̇́Ä̷̩̤͖͉̓̿̋̓͆͜Ð̷͔̹̮̜̲́̿͒͊͠!̸̦͈̱͉͇͆͆͂̒̈!̸͈̪͚̘̥̊͆̋̕͝!̷̥̯̩̬̫͂̈́͂̍͠"

In a panic, before he could think twice about it, he did as Alastor said---breaking off the base as quickly as he could before carefully maneuvering the parts that were stuck out and pulling it free. The antler immediately slipped out of his hands and fell to the floor, the blood that now coated his palms making it hard for him to hold onto anything.

His eyes shot back to Alastor, finding him clutching his head and trying to breathe through clenched teeth. So he ran to the bathroom and desperately rummaged through the cabinets until he found a first aid kit and some clean rags. He rushed back into the room and quickly began trying to clean up the blood that bubbled up from the wound. At first Alastor flinched away from his touch, but after a moment he allowed Lucifer's touch---leaning into his hands as he worked.

At least, until he began cleaning the wound.

Once he brought out the antiseptic and began gently cleaning the area around the wound, Alastor hissed and gripped the arms of the chair he was sitting on---knuckles white. So Lucifer absent-mindedly put a hand on his back and gently rubbed circles to soothe him, a habit from when he was still married to Lillith that he still hadn't been able to shake. Alastor jumped at the touch but, after some hesitation, he allowed it, and Lucifer couldn't help but wonder-

'When was the last time he'd ever been touched gently?'

He was always the one touching others, more to exert power over them than anything, but the only time Lucifer had ever seen anyone touch him, they were trying to hurt him---trying and failing. The thought made him oddly self-conscious, the ring on his finger suddenly burning like a brand.

"You're wrong," Alastor said suddenly, making him jump.

"What?"

"Your demonic form isn't affected by what you are when you're alive, but by what you hate," he clarified, "I hate timidness, I hate fear, I hate prey---so I was made into something that embodied all of those traits."

Lucifer didn't quite know what to say to that, so he just asked, "does it bother you?"

There wasn't any malicious intent behind the question, he was genuinely curious.

"No, it doesn't."

"Why not?"

Alastor hummed, clearly contemplating exactly what to say, all the while Lucifer watched him---something warm and insistent taking root in his chest as he did so.

"Have you ever had the pleasure of visiting the South?" Alastor asked him, his ever-present smile seeming to turn genuine.

He answered truthfully, "no."

"Well, we have quite a few local legends in the South---myths, tall tales, ridiculous lies some might call them, but we know better. Warnings, we call them."

"Now, the legends do tend to differ depending on the region, but once you've been around long enough, you tend to learn all of them---no matter where you're from," Alastor continued, "one of the stories, a favorite of mine, is that of the Not-Deer."

Lucifer leaned towards him slightly, feeling drawn in by the story, the gentle static of his voice, and the genuine love he could see that he clearly had for his home.

"The story goes that sometimes people will be driving along a back road, walking through the forest, or simply enjoying an evening out on the porch---when, suddenly, they'll see what looks like a deer," his smile suddenly changed, a curl in his lip that made Lucifer shiver, "at first glance, it looks normal enough, but if you keep looking at it you'll start to notice that something about it is not quite right. That's when you'll also notice that, just as you're staring at it, it's staring right back at you."

The shadows around them almost seemed to dance as Alastor continued, and---although Lucifer could feel fear creeping up his spine---he didn't want him to stop.

"Then you'll notice something off about its eyes---that they're far too dead, far too human, to be the eyes of a deer. Then you'll notice that its body is all wrong too, distorted and bent in all the wrong places. Then you'll notice that it's too big to be a deer, and then you'll notice the blood on its matted fur, and then you'll wonder how you'd ever thought it was a deer in the first place."

A pause.

"Then you'll notice that it's closer to you than you first thought."

Lucifer, breathless, asked, "what do you do then?"

Alastor grinned, that same curl in his lip, "you run."

Now it was easy to see why Alastor didn't particularly mind this form.

"The interesting things humans think up," Lucifer whispered and Alastor almost seemed amused by his interest.

"Indeed."

The odd feeling in his chest warmed under his gaze, and he suddenly found himself feeling the distinct sense of deja vu as well.

...and that was when it hit him.

'Oh motherfucker-'

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel lucifer #radioapple #alastor x lucifer #devotion's posts: requests🪻#devotion’s posts: fic stuff 🪻

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