i’m rewatching 3x33-4 cos i’m a masochist apparently and thinking about fearne using revivify, i saw a fair amount of discussion about whether she fibbed that coin flip or not at the time but i can’t help but think that either way its super in character.

the two options are:

she didn’t fib the flip and kept true to the chaos of a coin flip, which makes sense with her nature and especially since she just found out delilah was fucked and couldn’t help (“she’s too weak” “that fuckin’ bitch”) so fuck delilah and fuck this, she’s not making this decision.

she did fib the flip and chose orym on her own instinct, which also makes sense since orym is the only constant family fearne currently has with the reveal of her parents and dorian and the crown keepers being away, with the addition that laudna had died and come back before. also the idea of fibbing supposedly random chance seems very up her alley too.

this was all to say the discussion i remember after those episodes felt odd to me considering both options felt very in-character regardless of which actually happened

I know we all love Vox Machina and they're heroes

But i think bringing her to them is such a Bad idea.

Like what are you gonna tell them, that delightful undead lady has got Delilah Briarwood in her head.

I guess the pcs don't know too much about what VM went through with her, but i can't shake the feeling that (especially Percy) would Not be enthusiastic at the prospect of her coming back

Anyone else think that Ashley/Fearne might’ve fudged that coin flip to save Orym? I mean, she keeps the coin out of sight of everyone at the table, and it makes absolute sense that she would choose Orym over Laudna given that they have a longer and deeper connection…

Or maybe I’m just wearing my tinfoil hat today, I dunno 🤷‍♀️

I miss her

SO I am watching old CR episodes for shits and giggles and. AND. 3x34, when Matt's giving the memories from Imogen's psychic breakdown, and Chetney's lycanthropy is getting enhanced by Ruidus, right after saying that it makes him want to "hunt, to kill, to eat, to ruin" he says "It sees you now, and it's found common ground"

UM?

PREDATHOS MUCH?

LIKE??? WE KNOW HALF THE PARTY'S NEAR CHETNEY'S HOME ATM SO...

This is fully just a rant about some prevalent fandom ideas about love and relationships that I have lost patience with. I have put it under a cut, wholly untagged and unrebloggable, so if you clicked it and don't like it...you clicked it. Also this does have fairly vague and oblique spoilers, but still spoilers, for CR episode 3x34.

I will say: I find that the fanon depiction of Imogen and Laudna includes pretty much this whole list (vs other ships that have bits and pieces in the fanon but not the entirety thereof), which is why I absolutely cannot engage with it even as I enjoy many aspects of the canon. I will leave it at that.

Lifespan angst. I think it can be explored well in-game (Keyleth, notably, prior to getting together with Vax, as a woman in her early 20s with the knowledge that she is likely to live nearly two millennia) but I am just left ice-cold by out-of-story lifespan angst. People outlive their partners by decades in real life. It is a reality. It is not angst, it is simply a thing that happens to many, many couples.

And relatedly, the idea that life ends when someone you love dies: I spoke about this already re: Orym and have nothing further to add.

The whole love means never having to say you're sorry/no conflict thing; you do not want to be having screaming fights every day obviously but if you are two separate people with separate personalities there will be disagreements. In a healthy relationship, those disagreements are respectful; but they are still disagreements and there may be apologies involved. Also, sometimes people just get on each others' nerves and that does not mean they don't love each other.

The whole idea that love means understanding a person fully with no need for communication. It does not, and this is one of those things people use to claim their ship is justified because the characters Get Each Other even when the opposite is true, since it by default implies that characters who communicate more are less connected, and means that any single misunderstanding is fatal to a relationship.

The us-against-the-world mentality in which no one else understands in the same way. This one is like...I enjoy a depiction of a toxic relationship in media from time to time - usually not in actual play, but like, I have been known to watch HBO dramas, and also Gossip Girl (2007). But like, in general? This doesn't really have any staying power. It's so isolating and boring to have two characters with no connections to anyone but themselves. It's Tallahassee by The Mountain Goats. It works for a movie or a television season but it wears thin within like 3 episodes of a show like CR. There is a reason the Briarwoods are NPCs and not viewpoint characters, is all I'm saying, and also why they both die like 7 times each.

(The above is also prevalent in bad fanon of platonic relationships; people are so weird about the Mighty Nein parting ways and having their own lives and other connections, even though they are still close friends. Like, a lot of people seem to think found family means you threw the rest of your family out.)

Honestly I think I just hate the concept of there being One Single Soulmate Of All Time which is sort of the secret guiding thread behind most of these anyway. It's dumb and I hate it, which isn't really eloquent but like, what more is there to say. The idea that there is only one person in the world who can ever make you happy sounds grim and horrible to me, and yet it seems to be the driving force underlying so many ships in this fandom, and probably other fandoms, and idk I'm just too old and too pragmatic and have touched too much grass to find this anything but nauseating and stupid.

Sometimes I go back and watch random cr episodes because it's fun to look back on stuff with more context and also I'm mentally ill.

Anyways, what are the odds that Ludinus was the man fcg "fears with short graying blond hair" (EP 3x34, from imogen's brain blast after Launda died). It's gotta be pretty low right? I mean.... It's not impossible

hi! 15 & 23 for the cr ask game? hope you have a lovely day!! ✨🌸

15. Favorite one-on-one conversation (can be between two PCs, or a PC and NPC).

already answered here!

23. You can guarantee that Vax lives at the end of Campaign 1. However, you must trade his permadeath for the permadeath of a different PC who was dead for more than a minute. Your options are Percy dying permanently in 1x68; Scanlan dying permanently in 1x83; or Laudna dying permanently in 3x34. Do you choose to do so, why, and whose death do you trade?

wow this is a Wild question. there's a part of me that wants to keep it as-is because c1's ending was so poignant and meaningfully bittersweet but. maybe i would also let scanlan die idk. i'd do that for keyleth yeah

CR ask meme: 6, 23, 27?

6. NPC you would most like to see as the subject of a Tales of Exandria series. Marion! Lavvore! Backstory! When??!! I want to know so much about her. Where's she come from, why is Jester her only family, how did she end up as incredibly talented as she did?? Her romance with the gentleman isn't even the part I'm most interested in, I just want to know everything about her rise to the level of fame we see in canon and how she ended up isolating herself to the extent that she did. What happened Matthew Mercer, I know you know, why not tell usssssssss??

23. You can guarantee that Vax lives at the end of Campaign 1. However, you must trade his permadeath for the permadeath of a different PC who was dead for more than a minute. Your options are Percy dying permanently in 1x68; Scanlan dying permanently in 1x83; or Laudna dying permanently in 3x34. Do you choose to do so, why, and whose death do you trade? Lol I got reblog hate last time I poked this bear but I still think it'd be Laudna! In this case mostly because I'm not as invested in the story of c1. But also I love a shakeup and as fond as I am of Laudna I'd also have loved to see what else Marisha cooked up, and how her death impacted the rest of the party. Like would Eshteross be gone if the gang hadn't been busy in whitestone?! Who knows. Wouldn't actually want this tho because I think the c1 end seems good, and I wouldn't trade imp Patte for the world.

27. Pick one character, ship, or party; and one song you associate most with them, and explain why. This song cannot be on an existing playlist from the main cast. It also cannot be We Have it All by the Pim Stones nor Dust Bowl Dance by Mumford & Sons; I love those AMVs but please think for yourself. I have such a dad's choice in music there's no answer to this one that won't be slightly embarrassing. I recently heard The Eagle's Witchy Woman again and maybe it's a bit on the nose but I think it's such a fun sexy fit for the trio of Imogen/Fearne/Laudna. The end of the chorus is literally "she got the moon in her eyes...". I mean come one!

15, 23 for the cr asks? :D

15. Favorite one-on-one conversation (can be between two PCs, or a PC and NPC).

oh god that's SO hard i have so many favorites....hmmm....i think i have to go with...and this seriously pains me because there are SO many good ones...the conversation that fjord and caduceus have in clay and dust post fjord breaking his pact with uk'otoa--aka "i'm not even going to ask". lives in my mind rent free.

Caduceus: So, um-- How did that happen? Fjord: I threw the sword into the liquid rock. Caduceus: Your sword. Fjord: Yes. Caduceus: Why? Fjord: I don't like being a hostage. Caduceus: How do you feel? Fjord: I honestly don't know. That sword was all I had. Caduceus: Well, I assure you that's not true. Fjord: Thank you. Caduceus: For what? I'm at a loss, I don't-- Fjord: Just for being you and coming from where you have and sharing what you know. I'm inspired by you. Caduceus: For what it's worth, those words alone make me feel like leaving my home and going on this journey was entirely worthwhile.

not me sobbing on the floor or anything ;_;

23. You can guarantee that Vax lives at the end of Campaign 1. However, you must trade his permadeath for the permadeath of a different PC who was dead for more than a minute. Your options are Percy dying permanently in 1x68; Scanlan dying permanently in 1x83; or Laudna dying permanently in 3x34. Do you choose to do so, why, and whose death do you trade?

okay so this is an impossible question because i have actually written an alternate history where vex dies instead and i'm very attached to it and this is deeply upsetting.

having said that.

i think i would let vax die still.

for one thing, i will never be over the accidental perfect foils that are vax and percy, and for percy to die would fuck up that whole thing for me. scanlan dying would have damaged something in my psyche in an exactly equal but opposite way to vax's death, and i just can't justify playing with laudna's fate when i don't know how her life plays out yet. "life", i guess, lol

CR asks: 21, 23 (for spice), 34, 39 (feel free to pick & choose which u wanna answer)

21. You can eliminate one ship that did not become a canon, reciprocated relationship from the fandom's consciousness. It is entirely gone - no fics, no posts, no doctored out of context gifsets inexplicably claiming that Travis ships it, no anon hate, no drama. Your blocked tags list becomes several entries shorter. A weight is lifted from your shoulders, and you take the deepest breath you've taken in a long time. Anyway, now that you're feeling relaxed and inspired, what do you think Bertrand Bell's fighter subclass was?

I want to say a Champion? I actually had to go look Fighter subclasses up.

23. You can guarantee that Vax lives at the end of Campaign 1. However, you must trade his permadeath for the permadeath of a different PC who was dead for more than a minute. Your options are Percy dying permanently in 1x68; Scanlan dying permanently in 1x83; or Laudna dying permanently in 3x34. Do you choose to do so, why, and whose death do you trade?

Fite me but Scanlan. He's not my fave, and I love Percy and Laudna more.

34. You meet an old woman in the grocery store and help her with her bags. In return, she tells you she can guarantee that Campaign 3 will be fantastic, and that there will be a Campaign 4 set in Issylra that is also fantastic. However, she warns you, the price is that Marisha and Laura's characters will never be in a romance together, nor will Taliesin and Liam's, though there will be significant queer romances aplenty, both F/F and M/M, in said campaigns. Do you take her up on her offer?

Yeah, let's do it. Sounds interesting. I'm always here for a good time.

39. Favorite parental figure NPC?

Listen, I love Marion so much. She is a gods damned treat

14 & 23 for the oddly specific cr meme

14. Describe the art you would most like to create or commission if talent/money were no object.

oh my God i was gonna say something generic about indulgently beautiful endearing depictions of keyleth as voice of the tempest but then i remembered i would LOOOOVE to see art of what matt described in c3 with things coming to life and blooming in a trail behind her as she walks with the mantle of the tempest. I COULD CRY JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

23. You can guarantee that Vax lives at the end of Campaign 1. However, you must trade his permadeath for the permadeath of a different PC who was dead for more than a minute. Your options are Percy dying permanently in 1x68; Scanlan dying permanently in 1x83; or Laudna dying permanently in 3x34. Do you choose to do so, why, and whose death do you trade?

already answered here