When you’re raised in an abusive family, it doesn’t feel like you’re a victim of something, not while it’s happening. Instead, you feel like you’re not doing a good enough job dealing with what’s presented to you as ‘normal’. It feels like you’re overly sensitive and need to learn how to be more tough, like you’re whiny and spoiled and deserve to feel bad about yourself. Like ‘tough love’ and constant criticism, threats and put downs is what is needed to fix you, like only thing that can make you better is more pain and more hatred.

Abusive parents work very hard so you wouldn’t be able to recognize abuse; they will make sure you believe that what they’re giving you is love. They’ll even make you feel like they believe it’s love, like they are so sure they’re helping you with all of the hatred and neglect and violence, like they’re worried about you when they’re forbidding you any privacy, freedom or skills, like they’re simply not able to do any better, when they make you suicidal.

And they don’t stop there; they convince you that everyone else has it worse, that you’re ‘lucky’ to have them, that other children are beaten worse, starved out, abandoned, homeless. They tell you horror stories about how you’d be dying on the street without them, how grateful you need to be. They threaten you with how bad you’d have it in an orphanage or a home. They give you anecdotes of children being treated worse, in order to terrify you.

So you don’t know that you have it bad. You don’t know that you have human rights that far precede being fed and sheltered. You look around convinced, that everyone’s home life as as bad as yours, they’re just somehow taking it better. They’re somehow still grinning and acting normal and keeping it together, they’re less anxious, less scared, less inclined to sink into darkness. You don’t know how they do it, and you feel inferior, stuck, left behind. You don’t know what’s wrong with you, why can’t you just be like everyone else, and deal with ‘normal home life’ as well as they do. Why can’t you talk to your parents like you love them, like everyone else does. How is everyone else so much better at being tough, brave, enduring, strong, and hopeful.

And abusive parents will dismiss your every thought and feeling that recognizes the reality of what you’re living in. It doesn’t matter if you’re having anxiety and trauma symptoms so bad you’re barely able to function, they’ll call it whining. It doesn’t matter if you secretly self harm only to ease the amount of inner pain and shame you’re feeling, they’ll call it ‘attention seeking’. It can be panic attacks, eating disorders, ocd, dissociative disorders, flashbacks, nightmares, fight-or-flight reactions, it will all be dismissed as you being ‘dramatic’, ‘playing the victim’ or ‘making a drama for nothing’. You could be close to death and your abusive parents would dismiss it as your own fault.

Because nothing is more important to them than covering up their abuse and making you feel insane for trying to point it out. Nothing stops them in forcing their own hateful perspective on a child they abused. There is no compassion or decency to acknowledge that they hurt you, you could be dying and they would accuse you of doing it on purpose to spite them. There is no place in their hearts for you. There is nothing they couldn’t spin to depict you as a spoiled, selfish, vengeful monster, in order to spin the reality of what happened in their own favour.

They’re waging a war against a child they had out of their own volition, and were responsible to take care of. They declare the war on your sanity the second they hurt you and tell you that it’s fine, that you’re okay, that you need to shut up so nobody else can hear and get ‘the wrong idea’. They taught you that abuse is love from the start, and seeing the consequences of abuse on you, they double down and insist it’s still love, it’s still normal, it’s still good, it’s just you who is the problem. They didn’t do anything wrong. You who is taking ‘love’ the wrong way. You who doesn’t understand that they’re ‘human’ and ‘did their best’. As if they acknowledged you as a human being even once during your entire life.

Much of your childhood consisted of your parents lying to you in order to avoid you realizing you’re being abused. It makes you spend decades thinking that you’re crazy, delusional, oversensitive, imagining things, acting whiny or dramatic for no good reason, experiencing symptoms for no reason, no events that caused it, all while being completely alone in your pain, unable to ask for support, because ‘nothing bad happened’. It can bring shame to your every feeling, make you feel like you’re not allowed to even experience your own feelings. It makes you doubt your memories, your senses, your own instincts, because you’re shamed and punished for believing yourself, for imagining that you were right to express any of it.

That’s why it’s so hard to get out of it. It’s hard to even dare to believe yourself, with how high the stakes are for you parents, and by extension, for your own life. You’re not dumb or gullible for struggling to acknowledge this, nobody wants to believe this could be going on in their life. Nobody wants to see their parents as villains, if there’s any other option available. And nobody wants to believe their parents capable of this level of cruelty. Nobody wants to know that they were raised by people who felt nothing while psychologically torturing a child.

i think the moment i really Got what nope was trying to say was when jupe was talking about the gordy’s home snl sketch and it cut to a flashback of him as a kid, terrified and bloody after a horrible trauma - and then cut right back to him gushing about the performance of the actors that turned that trauma into entertainment

A little special something for something even more special. Hint: it's about love and fears and birthdays and new beginnings

(@/marvel hire me <3)

(dress ref)

there's aus where u try to recreate the "effect" of a character's personality and behavior through an alternative "cause", and then there's this shit where i Just think umm well personally wolfwood being down to kill for vash is hot and it's a bummer vash doesn't think so too, but what if an au where he does ?

it's not a true "villain" vash au, basically it goes that vash decided to stick it out with knives in the hopes he could mitigate the damage knives planned to do to mankind, and it's worked for the most part-- at the expense of vash taking on much of knives' ire himself. this vash is even more isolated than in canon, unable to meet the standard knives enforces for what a god is supposed to look like, and constantly concerned with appeasing knives: dressing and styling his hair in a way that doesn't annoy him, talking very little, always offering compromises that put himself at a disadvantage

it's a wholly bad deal, up until the eye (yeah i'm blending stuff from other triguns in even tho it's a 98 au lol) offer vash their latest up-and-coming disciple to protect and serve him directly, though the "protecting" thing ends up being extremely mutual. wolfwood is the first bright spot in vash's life in a hundred years, and he's not going to allow anybody to take that away

has. has this been done yet

alt. version under cut

Zane - Jane Seymour

Lloyd - Katherine Howard

Cole - Catherine of Aragon

Jay - Anne Boleyn

Nya - Anna of Cleves

Kai - Catherine Parr

The death of Nex & queer people like him scares me.

It scares me because that could've been me.

It scares me because that could've been my friends.

And it scares me even more knowing that if I knew him, we probably could've been friends.

He deserved to live.

He deserved to live to 17.

He deserved to graduate high school.

He deserved to grow up and accomplish things.

And now that he's gone, he deserves to have the full truth told about his death.

I've seen headcanons of Phoenix Wright having heterochromia; either due to him being born with it or due to head trauma via fire extinguisher in AA2. They often come with headcanons of why he'd hide them with colored contacts, of course.

But I haven't heard anyone bring up the headcanon of Phoenix's eye turning blue because of Dahlia's bottle pendant.

First off, the poison Dahlia used had possible side effects including loss of pigmentation and eye damage. This is evident in Diego Armando's hair turning white and vision problems.

Fun fact: blue eyes aren't caused by blue pigmentation. In fact, they have little to no pigmentation at all. The blue we see is just light reflecting weirdly until only blue light is all we perceive from them.

Secondly, the poisoned pendant Phoenix ate in Turnabout Memories was empty at the time, but the risk of it containing leftover traces was very real. He even chewed it, raising the chances of those traces entering his system.

Diego had a significantly higher dose than Phoenix, but let's not forget Dahlia had faith that 1 contaminated pill of Cold Killer X would do the trick. Even if there was less than a drop remaining in that bottle, it had the potential to at least do some damage.

Damage that could result in the loss of pigmentation in someone's eyes.

I've just started Skeleton Key, someone please tell me this 14 year old finally gets a gun. " Oh he's too young-" HES TOO YOUNG FOR LITERALLY ALL THE SHIT HES BEEN THROUGH " He's not ready to kill" HE SLAYED A MAN. HE SLEIGHED A GROWN MAN!!! I love the other inventions they are so cool and Smithers does a great job but please at least ONE gun. or a stun gun that has more than just one fucking dart because that didn't even make it to Point Blanc.

I know he probably won't get a gun, dear god this child needs a break from saving the world.

spotify request meme

↳ @mickmilks asked: stranger things + 36. boys don't cry // idkhow

i dont think i need to say anything else

picked up drawpile again with a friend and realized i love it way more than magma

LAMB LAMB LAMB LAMB

The trivia page on Andy Barclay's Wikipedia interests me because it's one very obvious canon facet of the character. A fact that everyone should know but was easily forgotten. An actual piece of trivia. And something purely nonsensical.

And also while I've got the Dungeon Meshi bug I really like how similar Kabru and Marcille are. Like they both lived through an extremely traumatic event when they were younger, an event they know will happen again, and the thought of that is unbearable. So they shape their entire life and goals around stopping it, while being acutely aware thry are incapable of actually achieving it, and ultimately they put all their hopes into one person/being to do it in their stead (the winged lion for Marcille, and Laios for Kabru).

The moment Clark showed up on that roof, his face covered in injuries for the battle Lois knows Superman (who should be the only one to know she's even on the roof) just flew off to fight, and tries to pass it off as a shaving mishap is when he went from telling dumb little lies to cover his absences to outright gaslighting Lois.

No surprise that is the point at which she finally snapped.