#certifies | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lesbianralzarek · 4 months

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"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw

#i originally posted this as just a 'hey remember how fuckin bad middle/highschool was? shit was wild' type post but now #there are a bunch of teens in the notes being like 'oh my god are you serious? it gets better? im not stuck in hell forever??'#and im reminded that the only people who told teenage ella 'it gets better' were speakers at mental health assemblies #aka the least relatable people alive who were seemingly born to lie to you #so. uh. yeah im a certified adult who isnt here to lie or sugarcoat the realities of being a teenager #the only thing more certain than the pain is the transcience

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themainspoon · 9 months

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A quick update for all my fellow r/196 migrants about how things are going back in the motherland. A saga has unfolded:

It began with a basic hornypost, and a comment under said post:

So, the fatal BreadSlice was getting clowned on in the replies, until:

So yeah, the more things change the more they stay the same I guess.

#196 #r/196 #r/196archive #196 archive #r196 #/r/196 #a certified themainspoon classic

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quark-nova · 7 months

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Just found out about the weirdest shark ever

Prickly dogfish

#shark #certified not smooth #marine biology

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kiddycup · 1 year

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#this is a certified art post #to me #my art

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tisorridalamor · 7 months

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Legendary mangaka Arakawa Hiromu is forklift certified!

#if by certified you mean can drive a forklift lol #the peasant noble #fun talk tag #I also just learned there’s a short anime adaption. since I can’t find full translations of the manga hopefully I can watch that!

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junglejim4322 · 3 months

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do you think a 5'4 and 6'2 height difference is predatory?

Aaksjejaozkwksjaozhqodjwizhqbsjqnssjhqsbkqzj$:&.$^€\€|€\+\€|¥]£|.*%[€]*jensbshaoswahajsihwhwoqi$/$:$:8:&2$:$/$.&102$;!;$;8:&;$494882:891jsjsjsjsoajajwbejxjwhhqausbwuwijeehjediwijwjwjejsiwjai/&/&/&.!benwnejxbabsjsjzhwnejehehsjaij$$2$/18828/!.!/&-!:$::8:.$.?2)ghshsbevdidirjdjdjdjsijdjeojjdj$&/&.!ahhahHshbsnsjshajajanshsjsjwjwsshwhwhw

#asks #anonymous #i feel like you sent this to make me feel better after I was bitching but as a certified 5’4 binch no I do not think height differences #are predatory. thank you for the ask though

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frodo-of-the-nine-fingers · 4 months

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normal sex couldn't fix them but weird possesive sex could

#⚰️#they just need to become an Irreplaceable Object to one another that's all #mine #certified ✅️ nieyao post

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judes-dump · 9 months

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If Justin McElroy a 40 year old cis white man from West Virginia can casually come up with the sentence "boys of all genders" then i think there is hope for us all in this transgender world.....

#certified jude classic #mbmbam #my brother my brother and me #justin mcelroy #transgender

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starscreamfireworks · 10 months

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hey it’s okay. maybe you’ll feel better if you imagine your OCs in fucked up situations

#certified geometry post

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skywewe · 10 months

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The good omens lore is so good, wish the bible was real and not just made up for the GOCU

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #CERTIFIED NEIL RECOGNIZED POST?? HOLY SHIT

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miniyellow5 · 2 months

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In my brain, I thought it would be so funny to put salmonids on machinery, so I present you this tomfoolery

#splatoon salmon run #salmon run #smallfry #steel eel #FORKLIFT CERTIFIED!!!!#splatoon #splatoon 3 #mini's drabbles/art

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themainspoon · 10 months

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Often I think about the r/ambien wife guy, not daily or anything, but still often:

#196 #reddit #r/ambien #a certified themainspoon classic

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rogueshadeaux · 2 months

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“I hate the script, the vault dwellers sound so cheesy—“ my Brother in Steel you realize that’s the point, right? They were bred to act like the physical embodiment of an HR e-mail. Did you not catch the memo that Vault-Tec put out regarding their experiment facilities?

#fallout #fallout tv show #fallout tv series #they were raised to respect the Golden Rule they’re a bunch of fucking kindergartners #theyre MEANT TO BE CRINGE #plus if you keep watching you’ll SEE WHY THEY DO THAT #don’t quit in the first episode when you have so many more to explore wtf is wrong with them!!! it’s a good show!!!#sometimes I think people like to hate things just to hate them and I understand. truly. i am a certified hater too #but don't dog something that has reasoning!! you're meant to cringe! and you'll see why!!!#GIVE IT TIME IT WILL MAKE SENSE I PROMISE #fallout spoilers

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rampantram · 2 months

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