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riotlain · 2 years

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Egos with a s/o with bad luck

bc in saiki k theres a character with god awful bad luck and its silly to me

THIS IS A NWLNW BLOG!! WOMEN DNI

Iplier Egos

Wilford

You barely managed to dodge his gun multiple times

Near death is normal for you

At first Wilford thought you were clumsy

Then you told Wilford about your god awful luck

He didnt believe you at first

Then when you guys were cooking 4 plates fell on you

Dr. Iplier wasnt a fan of you coming over so often

Wilfords luck is average but it doesn’t average out yours

Date nights are usually inside

Last time you went out you got hit by a hearse

Captain Magnum

You 2 met when you were literally drowning

You bowed your head telling him about your constant misfortune

Captain has seen many things

Bad luck? It’ll be fine!

First day on the ship a storm hit

Then the map to the treasure got lost

Captain was very concerned

Captains usual good luck was evened out by your atrocious bad luck

Now its a 50/50 chance of finding anything good

Host

Host knows about your bad luck

At your first meeting he ended up spilling coffee all over you

He tries to use his powers to counter your bad luck at times

Doesnt always work

“Sorry I’m late Host! I got struck by lightning.”

Hes good at patching you up whenever you get hurt

You guys have simple dates

Sitting in the library together and reader

Just hope a bookshelf doesnt fall on you-

Septiceye Egos

Anti

He definitely didn’t believe you at first

And then when he saw it in action he was concerned

But when he saw that you laughed he laughed too

It became sort of a game

How many near deaths can happen in a day

Record is 13

Shneeple

He met you bc of an accident

That accident was that you got struck by lightning

He loves you so much

But boy you give him a heart attack at times

Always there to patch you up

Dates are casual ones where you guys cuddle on the couch and watch movies

You arent allowed in the hospital he works at lol

unless its an emergency

Marvin

Marvin doesnt really want you around his potions

Last time you were around them you had 3 different potions fall on you

The result was you being a tiny cat for a day

He then decided to make a potion of luck for you

Made your luck average

As in youd have something horrible happen and then a good thing happen

The usual i guess

Battle Egos

Phantom

You were at Phantoms bar after a rough day

And at the bar the seat under you broke

And then you had multiple drinks spilt on you

He decided to walk you home. He felt kinda bad-

Now that yall datin he tries to make it so you dont end up near dying everyday

Maybe putting a soul with usually good luck in a charm

It kinda works

And its fairly pretty :]

Natemare

Natemare laughed when he heard of this bad luck of yours

He thrives off bad vibes and fear what can he say

Then he saw you literally literally get electrocuted

He was shocked (lol) to see you just laugh and apologize

He literally steals one of Phantom's souls

He needs some goodluck for you man

Bones

Bones also has bad luck...

So it cancels out kinda

That or its 2x as bad now

Like literally it could be a sunny ass day

And then it just starts storming like crazy

Unlike him tho, you just laugh it all off

I think Bones has anger issues of sorts

So seeing you all fine with looking like a soggy cat has him confused as shit

152 notes · View notes

callmegkiddo · 1 year

Note

Captain Magnum x Male or GN Reader

-@wilfywarfy

Lets be honest with ourselves old man,

We need more male readers in the fanfic department-

It was a rough day out at sea, with the breeze warm and the air fresh and tasting salty. There at the wheel of the ship, stood Captain Magnum, the head of the SS Magnus. He, alongside his trusty first mate, S/o, manned and sought out for treasure. With their eyes on the prize, no one could stop them from becoming the number 1 sea dwellers around the globe.

---------------------------

It was around afternoon, and the main deck was bustling with activity and songs. John, the last first mate was playing the coordain, while Lassie was playing the tambourine. The rest of the crew danced and sung to their hearts content, celebrating yet another successful treasure hunt.

S/o was dancing away, singing shanties and throwing gold doubloons to the crew. Their laughter rang out in the air, making some of the crew swoon from their handsome(and or beautiful hehehe) looks and baritone(and or soprano) voice.

The captain, Magnum, was off to the side, drinking a hearty drink of rum, held tightly by his giant paw like hands. A soft smile grazing his lips as he stares adoringly at his first mate. No, not just first mate, his only mate...

His eyes become lidded, letting them wander as he observes every part of S/o. His heart thrumming against his chest like a drum as thoughts of romance bloom.

He sighs, closing his eyes and takes a swig of rum. Percy, the scrawny crewmate came trotting over to the giant behemoth of a man. He knocks on Magnums log legs, the captain, looking down at him with question.

“You enjoyin the view of dem aren’t ya, captain?” Said Percy, his tone teasing as he watches Magnum’s cheeks flush with red. The tall captain looked away with defiance, huffing like a school girl. “Yeah yeah, so what if I was? Ye don’t wannu mop the deck now do ya?” He interjects back, his tone playful but threatening.

Percy sweat drops as he laughs nervously, making a mock salute, he turns on his heal and shuffles back to the circle, covering his face as he silently regrets his decision.

Magnum chuckles, but catches sight of S/o, the handsome man waved at the captain with fervor, his smile beaming at the giant bear man. He feels his heart skip a beat, smiling back, he raises his drink. And with slight clumsiness, the first mate was able to grab his drink and raise it back at the captain.

Both give each other a love stricken look, their smiles turning dreamy, their eyes, having become lidded with affection and adortion.

How they have fallen for each other...

#Captain Magnum x reader #Captain Magnum x male reader #male reader #romantic #xreader #x reader #Markiplier Egos #AHWM Magnum #ahwm wilford #a heist with markiplier

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orange-waterfalls · 4 years

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Trans Male Reader HCs

ty @peachyplays for the request!

A/N: PEACHY SIR I AM SO FUCKING SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG UHHHHHH but im still alive. i am here. im fine. this is some hcs about before transitioning and during and a lil after bc i feel like after it would just be. pretty normal. uh i did the 5 that appeared in ahwm, excluding heistiplier bc ehhhh. Darkipier, Wilford, Yancy, Illinois, Magnum. Rated T, i think. TW: mention of periods, scars, binding, dysphoria. Yeah. I think that’s it. Enjoy!

Trans Male!Reader HCs

Darkiplier

Doesn’t really care

You have girl parts. Great

He has a century old demonic entity+a pair of twins. You're not special

Tries to be understanding, but mostly just doesn’t address it very much

There’s no need to! He loves you, it doesn't matter to him!

He will try to make you feel comfortable if you start to feel dysphoric

If you menstruate, he deals with it well

Both Damien and Celine would know precisely what to do so…

Heating pad, candy, movies + snuggles

Makes you lay down and hold the heating pad while you wait for the painkillers to kick in

Has a timer for 10 hours and you WILL take your binder off when it goes off

Is not afraid to threaten you over it

You know he doesn’t mean it and DAMMIT MAN YOU’RE GONNA HURT YOURSELF

If you start to take T, he just sits next to you

It might seem like he’s vibrating a little

That’s just the emotion seeping out

It seems like he doesn’t pay attention to your voice

In reality he listens closely everyday for how much deeper it went

You expected him to laugh when your voice cracked

he just asked you to repeat what you said

You appreciated that

He offers to pay for your top surgery if you decide to get it

Whether you say yes or know, he supports you

But he’s also nervous because Surgery

He checks the history of every person who even might be near you

Your surgeon was acting “strange” so he interrogated the poor man

You then explained he was doing his JOB

He squeezes your hand and kisses the back of it before you go into surgery.

The others have to convince him that you are not, in fact, going to Die

When you get out of surgery he stands on the other side of the room, waiting

He looks straight out of a horror movie

You almost scream when you wake up

He steps into the light holding a basket of fruit

He’s been watching a lot of romance movies…

Makes sure you DON’T FUCKING MOVE when you get home

You are going to LAY THERE and HEAL and you’re gonna LIKE IT

Often asks how your scars feel

A little defensive if people ask about them

A bit protective, but pretty much the same as before

Wilford

I don’t… I don’t think he comprehends the situation

I don’t think he knows what you mean, i’ll be honest

I think he just. Loves you. And filters everything else out.

Because unless it changes how you feel about him, it Does Not Matter

He treats you the same way he always does

Which includes being extra clingy and cuddly when you’re feeling bad or dysphoric

If you menstruate he goes into Good Boyf mode

Meaning he absolutely SPOILS you, moreso than usual

Cooks for you, buys you… a lot of things you probably don’t need…

Asks "is it shark week?" and buys extra detergent

You will take your binder off when it's time

You have no choice in the matter

and when you don't he somehow gets it off of you???

I dunno man, he's like. A god. Who knows

He WILL make sure you're safe and healthy whether you like it or not

If you start to take T, he's not allowed at the clinic

He's banned from like. Everywhere.

He always makes sure to say your voice sounds deeper

Even if it's early and it doesn't and you KNOW it doesn't, he says it anyways

He's just being supportive, it's fine

He's a lil nervous if you decide to get top surgery

The idea of someone just straight up cutting you while you're ASLEEP???

hate. bad. no thanks.

He tries to watch through a window but has to give up bc he just starts feeling Bad.

he sits and bounces his leg in the waiting room and plays with a fidget toy you got him

He basically teleports into the room when you're out

The nurse faints because what the FUCK

He just holds his bowl of chicken noodle soup while they're dragged out of the room

You eat and talk for a bit and he just gazes at you bc your voice is so nice

He's very smothering when you get home

Thinks you're gonna hurt yourself whenever you do anything

sit DOWN you dumbass you're gonna TEAR YOUR STITCHES

makes you binge a bunch of movies with him

He doesn't really pay attention, just watches you to see if you need anything

likes to trace and kiss your scars if you let him

Loves you so much <333

Yancy

I mean. He probably doesn't know what you mean

You are? a boy? I don't?

You explain and THEN he understands

He's a lil dumb, it's ok.

He isn't quite sure how to make you feel better when you're dysphoric??

Does he call you manly? Does he completely ignore you? What does he do?!

Eventually he’s settled on awkwardly calling you “Handsome” and “very masculine”

If you menstruate, he panics

He's had a mom before, he knows what it does

He doesn’t know how to make you feel better

He doesn’t wanna coddle you but also he likes feeling like he’s needed

He tries to cook for you but uh. yeah that didn't work out

The cook kicked him out and then made it themself, having Yancy deliver it to you

He convinced the warden to give him painkillers as well, and buys you candy

He’ll make sure you take your binder off when you need to

Might be a little lax, like with a child

“Okay… 30 more minutes. But then yous is takin' it off!”

Doesn’t fully understand the repercussions of you not taking it off

Once he does he literally BEGS you to take it off

Actually started crying one time

If you start T he asks a bunch of questions you probably don't know the answer to

He’s fascinated by how much your voice changes

He bites his lip to not laugh whenever your voice cracks

Once your voice gets like. As deep as it will go he kisses you and says you sound hot

He will panic if you decide to get top surgery

Constantly suggests robbing a bank or robbing a rich person

“There’s some expensive shit that’s been confiscated, i can help!”

When the day actually comes he's on the consistent verge of a panic attack

he can't even like BE there because. prison.

He cries while everyone else has to comfort him for the entire time you're healing

Once you see him again he interrogates you to make sure you're taking care of yourself

A guard lets you two have a little time alone, and you two talk about it

If you let him, he wants to see the result

He gives you a big hug and tells you how much he loves you

Illinois

Probably the only one who actually understands and actually KNOWS shit

though he's too narcissistic to really… like… care

He loves you, but like. If you don’t mention it he doesn’t really feel a need to

He will make sure you’re okay, he knows when you act weird

Other than that he doesn’t actively do much

He says "hey there handsome" or something like that every morning, and that's about it

If you menstruate, he just tosses you painkillers and says there's ice cream in the freezer

I mean. that's pretty much all you need

He will cuddle if you ask, though

Also flirts with you and talks to you more

If you bind, he will be very pushy about it

Will not let you do anything until you take your binder off after the designated amount of time

if he's on an adventure, he calls the others to go to your place and tell you to take your binder off

He knows you won't listen but I mean shit he doesn't want you hurt

If you DONT take it off and have bruises he will straight up blackmail you

Keep doing this, you don't get any cuddles or kisses

Mostly for your benefit bc. bruises. but still

If you start T, he will help, but only if you ask

When your voice cracks he laughs

He apologizes while still laughing

He sleeps on the couch a lot

A little startled after he comes home from an adventure and your voice is deep?? hot???

If you get surgery, he’s relatively calm

He doesn’t like the sounds and smells of the hospital, though.

They weird him out

He’ll kiss you a bunch before you go into surgery and then waits outside.

Probably goes to get some food as well

When you’re out, he sits by you and eats, waiting for you to wake up

He slides an apple over to you and tells you to eat if you feel like it

He does his best to take care of you at home

He knows how to heal, and you need to SIT your ass down

Stays home from adventures while you heal

He doesn’t trust you to take care of yourself

He will not ASK you to take care of yourself he will TELL you because he KNOWS how you are

Stares at your scars sometimes

He doesn’t mean to be rude, they're just… there

He likes them. They’re cool. They’re yours, how could he not?

Tries to be as respectful as he can be

Kisses your scars. Like a lot. Like a LOT a lot.

He has a thing for scars, they’re badass

Captain Magnum

Completely Does Not Understand

At the same time, Does Not Care

Can you shoot? Can you stab? Can you loot? Then you’re perfect

Treats you the same way as the rest of his crew but with a lil more special attention

That attention being calling you rugged and tough

If you menstruate, he recommends hanging out with the rest of them to distract you

He also recommends LOOTING!

You’re pirates, what else would he want from you

Will stop in a town to buy whatever you need, if you ask

But you can probably get something from some other crewmates

If you bind, he won't let you do anything until you take it off when you need to

Think you can trick him bc he doesn't know what's happening?

SURPRISE BITCH HE LOOKED IT UP

ya can't fool the man, he may be stupid but he's not dumb

If you want to start T, he’ll stay in one town for a while.

Understands that you need this, and doesn’t want you to be upset

NO he’s not playing favorites but yes he absolutely is

Doesn’t ask questions, it’s not his business

However, if you explain, he will listen

Will be elated if you steal from the town

He’s still a pirate, and you are still his boyfriend, you had to do something

Makes you sing sea shanties when your voice gets deeper

Better be prepared to sing the chorus alone, even if you’re a shit singer

He just loves to hear it and therefore EVERYONE ELSE will hear it too

If you get surgery, he’s very nervous

He's never really been in a hospital but he thinks it's unnatural

Too white. Too clean. Too much.

Refuses to go in the hospital, but gives you a tight hug before you go in

He then regrets not going in because he misses you a lot :(

Once you're out and can go back on the ship he's very gentle

He's not a gentle man, but he tries

Makes you stay in your quarters and tries to make you comfy

Doesn't really know what to do so let's a crewmate help you

Claims that your scars make you badass! and attractive!

Puts you on the front lines to boost up your confidence

It only makes you nervous really, but you appreciate the effort

165 notes · View notes

missaudreyhorney · 4 years

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(Almost) Every Idea Ever

Although I rarely ever finish writing a fic, that never stops me from getting new ideas for them. Terrible, horrible, dumpster fire ideas. Okay, some of them are wholesome on occasion, but mostly it’s just filth. I've excluded a couple of things because either they were just too awful to mention or I’m currently working on them and I want it to be a surprise.

The first story I started to write this year was original fiction but with the main male character heavily inspired by Jim Hopper. It was about a recently married young woman having an affair with her father-in-law. This really set a precedent for the rest of my ideas and should indicate to you the level of depravity on this list.

Hopper x Reader:

Hurts So Good series - In 1982, Reader is Mayor Kline’s daughter and has a crush on Chief Hopper. She decides to pursue him and things don’t go quite as planned but they still end up having steamy, rough sex. A secret affair begins between the two of them but it eventually leads to heartbreak. Heavy emphasis on Dom/sub and pain kink. - Initial pursuit, fingering in the car, sex (60%) - Phone sex the following day (70%) - Rough sex, bordering on consensual nonconsent (partially written) - Introduction to Daddy kink (notes) - Body worship (notes) - Bruise kink (notes) - Facesitting (50%) - hurt/comfort throatfucking, an argument, angst/fluff (75%) - Orgasm denial/control (70%) - Possible gunplay? (Unwritten) - Disciplinary spanking (notes)

Dress You Up series - In 1985, Hopper meets plus-size!Reader at JCPenney when he comes in to pick out a shirt for his date. After Joyce stands him up, he decides to come back and ask Reader out instead. Probably the cutest idea I’ve ever had for smut. Inspired by flamehairedwritings and flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash. - 1st meeting, 2nd meeting, date, sex (50%) - 2nd date, a continuation of My First Drabble (partially written) - Meeting El and she’s standoffish (notes)

Domestic Smut - Reader and husband!Hopper are at the cabin alone together one weekend. After breakfast, she tries to wash the dishes but the sink is broken, the water squirting everywhere. A water fight turns into a tickle fight which turns into kitchen table sex. (50%)

Hopper blindfolding Reader during sex at the cabin (Notes)

Hopper blindfolding Reader during a blowjob in his office at the police station (Minimal notes)

Hopper rubbing a popsicle on Reader’s body then licking it off (Minimal notes)

Hopper coming over to Reader’s house, unannounced, late at night, in the rain, for a quick rough fuck. Inspired by one of the pictures from the Playboy shoot. (Partially written)

Licking Hopper’s hand and arm veins to get his attention while he reads the Sunday newspaper. (Unwritten)

Sucking Hopper’s cock while he smokes a cigar on the porch and either ignores you or looks at you with disdain. Inspired by a compilation video of David smoking a cigar on Instagram Live. (Unwritten)

Consensual nonconsent fantasy where Hopper touches Reader and tells her to say no to him while he’s making her cum. Rough, forceful sex immediately follows. (Partially written)

Bootlicker - anti-cop Reader has a secret fetish for cops and Hopper is more than happy to oblige them and keep quiet about it. (Notes)

Working out my own personal issues via smut, bigender-questioning AFAB Reader puts on Hopper’s uniform shirt and hat. Much to their delight, he says they look like a boy. He also says “If you’re going to dress like a boy, I’m going to fuck you like one.” Basically just incredible anal sex while Hopper calls Reader a good boy. Extremely niche subject but the fantasy of this is so affirming to me, I can’t not think about it. (Notes)

Hopper x Reader requests

A sequel to Little Magnum where the dog is a few years older. There is maybe also a cat? (Unwritten)

Fire & Ice - Reader is playing in the snow when it’s getting dark outside. Hopper tells them to come in but they don’t listen. Reader falls and hurts their ankle then Hopper gets angry at their disobedience. Not because he’s a jerk, but because he can’t imagine his life without Reader and doesn’t want to lose them. Angsty hurt/comfort. (~70%)

Replacement idea since Fire & Ice was much too angsty - Reader gets stung by a bee and Hopper freaks out. Reader is fine but he babies them nonetheless, because again, his greatest fear is losing them. Very cute and silly. (unwritten)

Freezeframe - Reader bought Hopper a Polaroid camera for his birthday and he hasn’t used it months later. Taking matters into her own hands, she uses the camera for some naughty selfies. Once Hopper finds the pictures, he decides to assume the role of photographer and gets some very intimate shots of Reader. (80-85%)

Morning Wood - Reader lets themself into the cabin early one Summer morning and sees Hopper in bed, fully nude, just a sheet covering the part they want to see most. Hop wakes up, invites Reader into bed with him, and a blowjob ensues. Very detailed description of his body. (Notes)

Hopper gets injured and needs Reader to patch him up. She gets pissed though for him being in yet another dangerous situation where he yet again gets hurt. Reader reprimanding him leads to confessions of feelings which leads to sex. (Unwritten)

Reader has been feeling ignored by Hopper lately and decides to make him jealous to get his attention. She flirts with another man at a bar while Hopper watches and seethes with rage. He punishes her by dragging her into the parking lot then spanking over the tailgate of his Chevy Blazer. Rough sex and more spanking goes down back at the cabin. Based on my jealous!Hopper headcanon post. (Partially written)

Principal Hopper - One of the worst ideas I’ve ever had, which is saying A LOT. High school principal Hopper catches one of his 18-year-old female students spying on him between classes and confronts her about it. Sexual tension bubbles up until neither of them can control themselves. Based on a fantasy told to me by a friend who I will not name. (Notes)

Hopper x Reader AUs

Messing Around With Jim series - A continuation of The Big Game, Afterschool Special, and Third Time’s A Charm. Modern!Hopper and Reader having all kinds of sex. - Fingering, gentle sex, tender orgasm control (50%) - Period sex, vibrator (Notes) - First blowjob, a continuation of A Sampling (partially written) - Hop eating Reader’s pussy for his birthday (minimal notes) - Fingering in the car, truck bed sex (notes) - Another blowjob, rough sex over the hood of a car (partially written) - Pussy eating at the park (notes) - Hop not understanding FaceTime, fluff, smut (unwritten) - Roleplaying how they met, sex at Reader’s parents house (notes) - July 4th fingering, rough sex, surprises (notes) - Remote control vibrator (partially written) - More pussy eating, this time in Hop’s cutting edge shirt (partially written) - Yet another blowjob, this time in a movie theater (unwritten) - Jealousy resulting in overstimulation/”forced” orgasms (notes) - 4 part miniseries about butt plugs/anal sex (notes) - Confronting her parents, angst (55-60%) - Learning about Sara, ANGST! (notes)

Vacation series - modem!Hopper and Reader go on vacation together. That’s it, that’s the plot. Idea from David’s Croatian vacation pics and conversations with Tayler. All just notes at this point. - Christening the hotel bed - Bratty Reader getting semi-publicly punished - Hopper taking care of drunk!Reader, humor, fluff - Double date

carpenter!Hopper - Reader is recently divorced and hires Hop to make repairs on her house before she sells it. Graphic detail of him doing manly things like sawing and hammering. Porn with plot. Inspired by another friend, she knows who she is. (Notes in the form of a 500-word summary)

Detective Hopper - various bits and pieces of ideas inspired by David being digitally handcuffed to Darren Criss and Michael Stuhlbarg in Vanity Fair, plus a few pictures in 2016. (Unwritten)

Captain Hopper - a collaboration with @pkg4mumtown. She said she was thinking about fire captain!Hopper rescuing her from a burning building and I told her my pre-existing firefighter idea of being saved and then wanting to thank him in a variety of ways. Things snowballed from there and I decided we need to write it. Mostly just notes so far. - Initial meeting, first date, sex - Second date, making dinner together, sex

Hopper x Joyce:

There is a list of my Jopper ideas (Various degrees of notes)

Teenage Joyce and Hopper meeting in high school and their relationship that follows. Maybe a oneshot? Maybe a series? (Notes)

Hopper x Billy: (Over 18-years-old and no longer in high school!)

1940/50’s AU - Hopper meets expat Billy at a cigar club while on vacation in Havana. A familiar face, so to speak, in a foreign land. Hop pays Billy to take him back to his apartment and “keep him company”. Maybe two chapters? Inspired by a photo of Dacre Montgomery in GQ Germany. (Partially written.)

Hopper catches Billy “renting his time” at a truck stop outside of town and threatens to arrest him, but Billy bribes him with sex. (Unwritten.) I’m sorry but there’s just something about the idea of rent boy Billy that I absolutely love.

Hopper + Billy + Reader - completely implausible threeway (Unwritten)

David Harbour RPF:

AU where instead of being an actor, he’s a drama teacher at a high school in New York City and the kids from Stranger Things are his students. Pure fluff. (Please write this for me!)

Giving him a blow job before an important event. TWO different versions. Inspired by numerous photos of David wearing a robe. (Minimal notes)

Riding his thigh and everything that entails. Inspired by a picture of David from GQ Mexico. (Minimal notes)

touch-starved!David hires a sexworker during the pandemic because he’s lonely quarantining by himself. No sex. He literally just wants a hug and someone to be affectionate with him. Unconventional fluff. (Unwritten)

Other DKH-related shenanigans:

Let’s Ride sequel - Reader goes on a second date with Deacon from SoulCycle, they go out for sashimi and end up at his place. He has a cat that he inherited from a neighbor. Reader teaches him how to put her in a chokehold. (Unwritten)

Alexei Shostakov smut - some type of Bond Girl situation where Reader has to seduce him. Just an excuse for me to lovingly describe his large tattooed body in vivid detail. (Unwritten)

The Stranger - Reader has an ongoing affair with a mysterious man whose name is never mentioned. They meet at high society functions and hook up in fancy hotels. One night, he finds out that she’s married and punishes her for her dishonesty. Inspired by a photo of David looking annoyed in a tuxedo. (Notes)

Daddy Dom/little girl roleplay fantasy. Sweet, smutty, and slightly taboo. (Notes)

Daddy’s Little...Helper - Me, as submissive!Reader, watching Daddy jack off right in front of my face after he comes home from work. Based on a conversation with an Instagram friend and a picture of David in the play “Cal In Camo” where he’s holding a beer bottle between his legs. (65%)

Stranger Things x Twin Peaks crossover - Chief Jim Hopper comes to Twin Peaks to help Special Agent Dale Cooper solve some type of paranormal mystery. Perhaps a parallel between The Black Lodge and The Upside Down? I think this would work really really well, but I can’t write it myself. (Please write this for me!)

In conclusion: Yes, I know I need to have my head examined. Yes, I know I spend too much time thinking about Jim Hopper. Let me know if you LIKE these ideas. Please do not let me know if you hate these ideas.

Tagging: @manawhaat @strangest-hour @007swhore @kingphillipblake @david-harbour-arg @misshawkins1993 @oxforddrama

#ST FF ideas #fanfic inspiration #DID NOT proofread this when I was done

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weirdlyhornyforegos · 4 years

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Guidelines/rules

Realized I should make a little rules/guidelines list, so here it is. I’ll also update this with whether requests are open or not at any current time.

Updated: 13/10-2022

Requests are currently: CLOSED

So first and foremost: minors DO NOT INTERACT! This is 18+ blog, you’re not welcome here.

And now that’s out of the way, here’s the rest:

I write nsfw reader inserts and headcanons for almost all Markip***r egos on this blog, and Anti if he’s mixed with one those egos. (I don’t write for Captain Magnum, Ed Edgar, King of the Squirrels)

I don’t write ego x ego, but I do however write ego x reader x ego, so those are more than fine to send in.

My default is gender neutral, but you can ask for amab, afab, male, or female if you’d like that!

I have a bunch of prompts in my prompt tag here, but do not feel pressured to use any! You can give me any idea you’d like outside those prompts if you want to. Please specify which prompt list you’re choosing from if you use them.

Anything to do with watersports, scat, ageplay, non-con, pregnancy, and A/B/O are huge no-no’s. DDLG is also a no, but the use of Daddy is fine, Mommy is not. Other than that, I’m pretty open for any kink or request. I will of course reserve the right to say no to any stuff and kinks that I haven’t thought of, and might find I don’t like in the future.

Here’s my current master list with all that I’ve written, always updated as soon as I post.

That should be it!

-W💜

#rules #guidelines

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luna-jaden-shadow · 5 years

Text

MASTERLIST

Requests are open for any of the fandoms ( Click ) (feel free to suggest one and I’ll let you know if I can) and if you want smut here’s what the limits are ( Click )

Festive Prompt List (Christmas) -> CLICK Prompt List (Spooky) -> TBA Prompt List (General) -> TBA

<-->

Key -

(S) - Smut

(F) - Fluff

(P) - Preference

(I) - Imagine

(H) Headcannon

(A) Angst

<-->

Marvel

Never Along - Tony Stark X Avenger!Reader (F)

Only You - Tony Stark X Reader (F)

Where Did Everybody Go? - Tony Stark X Ex-Hydra!Reader (A)

My Speedster - Pietro Maximoff X Reader (S)

Progress - Wanda Maximoff X Reader (F)

Natasha Romanoff taking care of you when you’re sick would include (H)

Sign Me Up - Frank Castle X Reader (F)

Family First - Frank Castle X Reader (F)

Her Habits - Trish Walker X Reader (F)

Trouble Find Me - Bucky Barnes X Hydra!Reader (F)

Bottom Of The River - Peter Parker X Reader (A)

Fix You - Peter Parker X Male!Reader (A) (F)

Peter Parker Fluff Alphabet (F)

X-gene - Logan Howlett X Reader (A)

Rock The Bed - Logan Howlett X Reader (S)

Psych 101 - Thor Odinson X Reader (F)

Running Out Of Time - Stephen Strange X Avenger!Reader (A)

The Walking Dead

Ambushed - Negan X Reader (F)

Defensive - Negan X Reader (S)

Moving On - Negan X Reader (F)

Pleading Innocent - Negan X Reader (F)

Under My Protection - Negan X Teen!Fem!Reader (F)

Dandelion - Negan X Reader (pt. 2) (pt. 3) (F) (A)

Freezing Storm - Negan X Reader (F)

Hunter Down - Daryl Dixon X Reader (F)

Panicked Love - Daryl Dixon X Reader (F)

Reality - Daryl Dixon X Reader (A)

Saved You First - Daryl Dixon X Teen!Fem!Reader (F)

My Way Or The Highway - Daryl DIxon X Reader (A)

Unbelievable - Rick Grimes X Reader (A)

Trust Issues - Aaron X Fem!Teen!Reader (F)

Friend On The Other Side - Aaron X Teen!Whisperer!Reader (F) (A)

Supernatural

Fall For Me - Dean Winchester X Angel!Reader (F)

Creep - Dean Winchester X Reader (A)

Paper Crown - Sam Winchester X Male! Reader (F)

Sleeping Grace - Castiel X Hunter!Reader (F) (A)

I’ve Got You - Gabriel X Hunter!Reader (F)

DC Comics

My Drug - Arthur Fleck/Joker X Crazy!Reader (F)

I Don’t Know You - Red Hood X Male!Reader (A) (F)

I’m Serious - Red Hood X Trans!Oc (Nova) (F)

Harley Quinn Being Jealous Would Include. . . (H)

My Hero Academia

In The Hands Of The Enemy - Dabi X Fem!Reader (F)

Let’s Hang Out Sometime - Tomura Shigaraki X Reader (F) (A)

Swapped - Shota Aizawa X Hero!Fem!Reader (F)

Please. . . - Shota Aizawa X Hizashi Yamada X Hero!Reader (A) (F)

Is Something Burning? - Shoto Todoroki X Reader (F) (A)

Gotham

Jerome Valeska Being Jealous Would Include. . . (H)

Harvey Bullock Being Jealous Would Include. . . (H)

Flirty Mood - Harvey Bullock X Reader (F)

My Queen - Barbara Kean X Female!Reader (F)

One In A Million - Barbara Kean X Reader (F)

Always - Barbara Kean X Reader (F)

Not Next - Jonathan Crane X OC (F)

Breathe In, Breathe Out - Jonathan Crane X Villain!Reader (F) (A)

Run Away - Jim Gordon X Teen!Reader (F)

Unhealthy Obsession - Edward Nygma X Reader (A)

I Think I Broke Something - Oswald Cobblepot X Reader (A) (F)

Criminal Minds

Meant To Be - JJ X Reader (F)

My Life For Yours - Spencer Ried X Reader (A)

Lucifer

Sinnerman - Lucifer X Reader (F)

Law & Order SVU

Gamble Your Heart Away - Amanda Rollins X Reader (F)

Buried In Work - Dominick “Sonny” Carisi X Reader (F)

Big Brother

Our Little Secret - Nicole Franzel X Reader (F)

The 100

I Promise You - Clarke Griffin X Reader (A) (F)

Fight For You - Lexa X Reader (F)

Grey’s Anatomy

Meredith Grey Fluff Alphabet (F)

Date Me - Mark Sloan X Reader (F)

Friends With Benefits - Lexie Grey X Shepherd!Reader (S)

School Girl Crush - Lexie Grey X Fem!Shepherd!Reader (F)

His Eyes - Derek Shepherd X Reader (A)

A Little Bit Of Luck - Derek Shepherd X Sloan!Reader (A) (F)

Scream To The Heavens - Izzie Stevens X Sloan!Reader (F)

Love Bug - Izzie Stevens X Reader (F)

Love to - Arizona Robbins X Field!Reader (F)

Stand By You - Lucy Fields X Reader (F)

They Look So Pretty When The Bleed - Alex Karev X Reader (A) (F)

Soul Eater

Drunk Words Sober Intent - Older!Deathscythe!Soul X Fem!Reader (F)

Seven Deadly Sins

For The Greater Good - Ban X Sin!Reader (F) (A)

Dead To Me

Cuddling With Judy Hale Would Includ. . . (H)

Halo

Team Osiris Cuddles (P)

Vale Trying To Make You Feel Better Would Include (H)

Perfect Week - Olympia Vale X Reader (F)

Lazy Day - Human!Cortana X Reader (F)

Orange Is The New Black

Love Doctors - Lorna Morello X Reader (F)

Apple Pie Life - Maritza Ramos X Fem!Reader (F)

Found Me - Maritza Ramos X Fem!Reader (A) (F)

American Horror Story

Go Bite In The Night - James March X Reader (S)

Saying “I love you” to Mary Eunice first would include (H)

Jealousy Got The Best Of Me - Nora Montgomery X Reader (F)

My Light House - Misty Day X Reader (F)

YouTuber’s

Noodle - Courtney Miller (Smosh) X Reader (F)

This Is War - Mark Fischbach (Markiplier) X Reader (F)

Markiplier (Egos)

Evermore - Darkiplier X Reader (A)

Requiem - Darkiplier X Reader (A) (F)

Twilight (Pt. 2) - Darkiplier X Reader (A) (F)

Holiday Season - Darkiplier X Reader (F)

All I Want - Darkiplier X Reader (F)

In Your Head - Wilford Warfstache X Reader (A)

Adventure’s Call - Illinois X Reader (F)

Dead On Arrival - Illinois X Reader (F) (A)

Musical Friend - Yancy X Reader (F)

Parole - Yancy X Reader (F)

Meant To Be Yous’ - Yandere!Yancy X Reader (A)

Poking The Bear - The Host X Reader (F)

The Perfect Gift - The Host X Reader (F)

Panic Room - The Host X Reader (F)

In All Of The Seven Seas - Captain Magnum X Fem!Reader (F)

Pirates of the Caribbean

Beautiful As The Sea - Elizabeth Swann X Reader (F)

Aphmau Series’

Anger - Zane Ro’meave X Reader (F)

Celebrities

Missing You - Jeffrey Dean Morgan X Reader (S) (F)

Who Do You Belong To? - Jeffrey Dean Morgan X Reader (S)

Set Sex - Lauren Cohan X Reader (S)

Sleeping Beauty - Evan Peters X Reader (F)

Promise - Patrick Stump X Reader (F)

Snoopin’ Around - Jennifer Aniston X Reader (A)

Video Games

Fallout 4 Casefile - Nick Valentine X Reader (A)

Until Dawn Session 3 - Chris Heartley X Reader (A)

Santa’s List - Samantha Giddings X Reader (F)

Alien Isolation Where Do You Think You’re Going? - Amanda Ripley X Reader (F)

Victorious

Movie Night - Jade West X Reader (F)

Run Along - Jade West X Reader (F)

Confidence - Jade West X Reader (F)

Good Looking Mess - Jade West X Reader (F)

Disney

Under The Mistletoe - Elsa X Reader (F)

Secret Love - Elsa X Fem!Reader (F)

The Office

Halloween Mishap - Pam X Reader (F)

NCIS

Injured On The Job - Ziva David X Reader (F)

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orange-waterfalls · 4 years

Text

I'm Havin' Feelings Fer Ye

Captain Magnum x gender neutral!reader

@lovefor-xreaders ty for the prompt!

A/N: Guess who has no life and wrote an entire 2,000 word fanfic all in one day? THIS ASSHOLE! im so fucking bored guys, please, this is all I have. Send prompts. Uh... Rated T for cursing and violence. I think mostly angst, fluff at the end.

Word Count: 2.3k

You danced around the ship with some of the other crewmates to shanties the captain sang. You found treasure! You actually found treasure! You had honestly expected to die at some point… but you didn't! And you found treasure! That was wonderful! You were starting to think the heist wasn't such a bad idea! Even though Mark's… gone… you'd be alright! You had treasure! You'd be alright…

Captain Magnum watched you as you danced around, a smile present on your face. It made him feel all weird inside… he'd lived long enough to know what love feels like… probably. This was not it… he didn't think… he honestly didn't know. But when he watched you spin and kick your feet and laugh… he felt real happy…

You danced for a while before you eventually got tired and sat down, panting. The captain and the crew were messing with the treasure. Picking it up and letting it fall back into the chest, examining it, biting it…

These people were weird…

You held out your hands for your share of the treasure, since you were being patient. He looked to you and set a small coin in your hand, curling your fingers and patting them. You squinted at him, wondering if he's actually serious. He seemed to be, since he headed to his quarters immediately after. You frowned, looking at the coin. You'd talk to him about that later…

Captain Magnum felt a bit bad about only giving you a coin. What else was he supposed to do? You might've left if he gave you more treasure! He couldn't have that! Then again… that seemed a bit manipulative… eh, you'd be fine. He sat down in his chair and thought about you.

You were an enigma to him.

He'd felt this way before… but it was so… prominent this time… why was he so fond of you? It's not like you were special! You just had beautiful skin and sparkly eyes and the most stunning smile he'd ever seen and...

Goddamnit, he was in love…

He sighed, wondering what he was going to do about this, when he heard a sharp knock at his door. He jumped a bit, not expecting anybody since it was pretty late. He stood up and walked over, opening the door. You were standing there with your arms crossed. He was going to greet you, but you looked pissed. He wondered why. Then, you held up the coin.

"Are you kidding?" You asked accusingly. "I'm your first mate, you trust me enough to choose where we go, and you give me this bullshit?" You started walking towards him. Despite the height difference, he felt a bit intimidated by you. He stepped back.

"Listen, I be th' cap'n. I already told ye, me share be more fair than others," he stated. You glared at him and he felt his stomach drop. "Ye knew wha' ye were gettin' into, ye can nah be angry," he crossed his arms. You sighed.

"Fine. Whatever," you mumbled as you left the cabin. He opened his mouth to apologize, but nothing came out. He closed his mouth again. You were already gone anyway. Nothing he could do about it now. He'd get some sleep and you'd be fine in the morning.

It had been a few days since you found the treasure. You weren't talking to Magnum. He kept glancing at you as you were swabbing the deck. Your smile was replaced with a frown. It was less of an angry frown and more of a sad frown, but it made him feel just as bad. He waited a while to talk to you because he didn't want to mess it up. He eventually decided that it was a good enough time to do so, and he walked over to you.

"Mornin', first mate! How did ye sleep?" He asked. You paused for a moment, but you didn't answer. "Uh... 'twas a bit windy last night, huh? Glad we got all th' loot inside..." you still didn't look up, but your frown got tighter. He patted his hands on his legs and sucked in a breath. "Wonderful weather we be havin'?" You finally stopped mopping and turn to him.

"What do you want?" You asked, exasperated. He frowned.

"Are ye okay? Ye seem upset…" he commented.

"Oh, no yeah I'm totally fine!" You scoffed. "My best friend's dead, the guy who killed him won't even bother giving me any sort of compensation, I may never see my family or friends again, but sure I'm fine." You stated, mopping vigorously. Magnum sighed and looked at your face. You looked like you were on the verge of tears. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to find the right words.

"I... I be sorry. I'll give ye more treasure if... If ye promise ye won't weigh anchor…" he finally managed. You stopped and turned to him slowly. His eyes widened. "No, no, no! Ye... I didn'... um…" he gulped as you raised an eyebrow at him.

"Uh-huh. Go on. I'm waiting." You demanded. He took a deep breath.

"I... I find ye endearin'... 'n I wants ye t' stay... wit' me... specifically." He said. Your face softened a bit, to his joy. He smiled.

"I… have people back home." You said. His smile fell. "I can't just… leave and… not tell them anything…"

"Then tell 'em! Write 'em a letter or somethin'! That would be fine!" He said desperately.

"What am I supposed to say? "Hey, guys! I eloped with a 7 foot tall pirate and am now sailing the seven seas as his first mate"?"

"...yes?" He said, unsure. You sighed and looked down. He held his breath, waiting for whatever you were going to say next.

"What am I supposed to tell his family?" You asked softly. He took a deep breath.

"I... I dunno. 'n... I be mighty, mighty sorry about wha' I did t' yer friend... But... I... I be... I reckon I be in love wit' ye…" he said shakily. You looked up at him, your eyes widened. You could see a tint of red on his suntanned cheeks. He avoided your eyes for a bit before you chuckled. He looked at you. You smiled at him warmly. He returned it.

"I…" you began, blushing. You were cut off by the sound of a cannon.

"Avast! Prepare to be boarded!" A voice boomed from above.

"Oh, God, not again," you whined. Magnum reached out to put a hand on your shoulder, but another cannonball whizzed past you two, making you fall in different directions.

"Ye hide. I'll take care o' this," he instructed. He unsheathed his sword as you hid behind a nearby barrel, watching him to see if he'd need any assistance.

"Who be thar? Show yourself, yellow-bellied cur!" He yelled. You blinked, processing what he said. "Yellow-bellied cur". Huh. That was new. You heard wood creaking behind you and ducked further behind the barrel. You slowly rose and saw a man standing in from of Magnum. He was taller than you and had an average build, and was wearing a pirate outfit. His clothes looked… cleaner and more fancy than Magnum's. He was holding a sword and had a peg leg.

"Who are ye callin' a yellow-bellied cur?" He said in a low, rough voice.

"Obviously you, shitlord!" You said, quickly covering your mouth with your hand afterwards. The man turned and looked at you. He raised an eyebrow, smirking. You suddenly felt… violated.

"Well, well, well. Wha' 'ave we here?" He chuckled. "I may jus' keep ye fer meself." You laid your hand on a revolver.

Magnum tightened his fist around the hilt of his sword and swung. The man blocked it and stumbled back.

"Ye lay a hand on them, ye're dead." He growled. The man smirked and tried to jab at his side. Magnum managed to block it in time. The two captains went on sword fighting for a couple minutes while you stayed behind the barrell. The other man's crew was on the ship fighting the rest of yours. You felt a bit useless, so you grabbed the revolver and aimed towards the other pirates. You grazed two in their legs, and nailed one in the shoulder. You lost track of Captain Magnum after a while. While you looked for him, you heard something land behind you. You yelped and spun around, seeing the invading captain.

"Ahoy thar, darlin'," he smirked at you. You held the revolver up to aim at him. He scoffed. "C'mon, darlin'. Thar's no needs fer that. I won't hurt ye… Much."

"Go fuck yourself," you snarled.

"Such naughty language fer such a sweet thin'." He laughed. "I'll 'ave fun wit' ye."

"Oh, yeah, that doesn't sound creepy at all. Great," You sighed. He took a step towards you and you cock the gun. "Don't move, asshole." You warned.

"Oh, come on now." He chuckled. "We both know ye're too soft t' shoot me. So, why don't ye-" You shoot. The bullet hits him in the side. His eyes widened as he stared at you in disbelief.

"Something about me, captain," you set the gun down and walked over to him as he fell to the floor. "My best friend is dead. I'm feeling a bit pissed. And I have shot a man before." You got on one knee and leaned down next to his ear. "I'm not as soft as I look." You stood back up and walked back to the middle of the deck.

Captain Magnum was frantically walking around. The crew looked okay, so you sighed. The captain heard and spun towards you. He smiled widely as he ran over and enveloped you in a hug.

"Oh, thank Poseidon. Ye're okay. If I had lost ye I... I... I dunno wha' I'd do!" He stammered, petting your head. "Ye're okay, right?" You smiled and hugged him back.

"I'm alright, Captain," You whispered. He sighed and held you for a while before the previous first mate cleared his throat.

"'tis real touchin' 'n all, but we should prolly repair th' ship." He suggested. Magnum turned to him, glaring.

"Ye interrupted a bondin' moment t' tell me that?" He glowered. You bit your lip to keep from laughing. The crewmate opened his mouth to respond, but almost immediately closed it and started picking up pieces of wood. The other crewmates followed suit.

"We should help them," you declared. Magnum looked at you, his eyebrows knitted together.

"But do we 'ave t'?" He asked hopefully. You smiled and pulled away from him. Despite wearing a couple layers, he could feel the absence of your warmth. He sighed and helped clean up.

It took a while, but you all managed to clean up the deck. You'd probably need to buy more wood to repair the boat, but you figured it'd be fine. It was dark now and everyone had retired to their quarters. Except for you. You sat on the deck, staring up at the stars. Magnum left his quarters to check on you. He got worried when he saw you weren't asleep. He walked over to you, ruining the mood a bit with how loud he was. He dropped next to you with a loud creak of the floor. You didn't look at him.

"Ahoy," he greeted.

"Hi," you responded bluntly. You both sat there for a moment while he came up with things to say.

"Are ye okay?"

"Yep."

"Okay. That be good." Silence. "Wha' are ye doin'?"

"Just… stargazing."

"Okay. Why?"

"Felt like it."

"Oh." More silence. "Are ye thinkin' about 'im?"

"Yes."

"Do ye want t' talk about 'im?"

"No. Not tonight. Maybe another time."

"Ok... 'tis a tad cold tonight."

"Yeah. I guess so."

"Me cabin be th' warmest... If ye... Wanted t' sleep in thar... Wit' me... That would be alright…" You whipped you head towards him surprised. He noticed your panic. "Or not! That be fine too! I understand. Sorry fer botherin'. Goodnight!" He started to stand up, but you took his hand. He looked at your interlocked hands, flushed, then back at you.

"That would… that'd be fine." You said shakily. "I just… want to stay out here a bit longer."

"Ok," He nodded and plopped back down. You retracted your hand and tucked your knees to your chest, looking back up. He continued to look at you for a second, smiling, before looking back up. You chuckled.

"He loved space…"

Captain Magnum could listen to you talk for hours. You start talking about stars, then about Mark, then you get to talking about your other friends and family. He listened to everything you said because he knew it was important to you. You started to yawn after 45 minutes and you leaned on his arm. He froze in place, not wanting to bother you. Eventually, he looked down at you to see if you were asleep. Once he confirmed you were, he effortlessly lifted you up and carried you to his cabin. He gently set you on the large, warm bed. He wasn't planning on getting on it with you. You weren't there yet. You hadn't even told him you loved him back. He couldn't in good conscience get into a bed with you. He sat in his chair and looked at you. You were so…

"Gorgeous," he said under his breath. You cracked an eye open.

"Right back at you," you slurred. He blushed. You held out your arms. "Come into bed," he blushed deeper.

"No, I don't reckon I should…" He tried to say. You whined and he just couldn't. He stood up and carefully climbed into the bed with you, making sure to keep a bit of space between you two. That was pointless because you immediately turned over and snuggled into his chest. He gently moved his arms to embrace you tightly. He set a small kiss to your head and just lied there, wanting to treasure this moment.

Your eyes closed again as you heard him say "I love you". You smiled.

"I love you, too."

If I didn't say it before SEND PROMPTS

#ahwm #ahwm captain #captain magnum #captain magnum markiplier #captain magnum x reader #captain magnum x male!reader #captain magnum x female!reader #captain magnum x gender neutral!reader #x male reader #x female reader #x gender neutral reader #captain magnum x you #x you #captain magnum x y/n #x y/n #markiplier #markiplier egos #markiplier egos x reader

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orange-waterfalls · 4 years

Text

Happy Birthday

Captain Magnum x gender neutral!reader

@speedyprofessionalpandaweasel ty for the prompt

A/N: SPEEDY, YOU ASKED FOR SAD CAPTAIN MAGNUM, I'M GIVING YOU SAD CAPTAIN MAGNUM. I've been feeling reeeaaal angsty recently, so y'all get this. I wrote it in half an hour lol. Pretty short, not much to say. No picture cause I forgot. Uh sad. Warning: death? That's it. No cursing, no comedy, just... Grieving, I suppose. Damn, I made myself sad... Oh well. Enjoy.

Word count: 1.0k

Requests are open!

Captain Magnum stared out into the sea and clutched the side of the ship. They would land in California fairly soon. And then he’d visit you. It was your birthday, after all.

He did this every year. He took a break from pirating to come and visit this one day. Your friends weren’t exactly thrilled whenever they saw him, but they knew you loved him. So, they let him be. One of them even gave him a little anchor keychain. He greatly appreciated it.

His mouth was a tight frown that you wouldn’t see if you didn’t look. The beard hid it pretty well. His hat cast a shadow onto his face, making him look much angrier than he was.

He wasn’t angry. Not anymore. Not ever at you. Not ever again.

He startled when a hand touched his arm. He snapped his head to the side and saw his first mate.

“Captain?” He asked softly, “Are ye alright?”

Magnum sighed and set a gentle hand on the smaller man’s shoulder. “I’m alright, lad.”

First Mate nodded and walked away again. The crew was always quiet around this time. They knew he wasn’t upset at you, but they didn’t want to risk being yelled at by him. They didn’t think he’d ever, but a lot of things change.

Magnum let go of the ship’s side and walked to his quarters. All of the crew avoided eye contact but gave nods of acknowledgment. He nodded back and entered his room, closing the door behind him. He crossed his arms and exhaled through his nose.

It was always quiet around the ship this time of year. No dancing, no singing, no yelling. Not even much talking, and that’s saying a lot. It made him slightly uncomfortable.

He scanned his room, looking for the present he bought for you. They’d stopped at a small port with an ocean-based gift shop. He’d bought a keychain shaped like a ship and a small stuffed dolphin. He knew you wouldn’t want much else.

You weren’t one to ask for much on your birthday. Not from him at least. You always told him a keychain or gift card would be fine. He knew you were lying, but listened anyway so you wouldn’t feel guilty.

He bought you a computer once. You refused to accept it and gave it back to him. He could see the pain in your eyes as you handed him the box. He chuckled at the memory.

He walked over to his bed and picked up the small birthday bag that was sitting next to a bouquet of flowers. He made sure the dolphin and keychain were still in there and didn’t fall out or something. He turned to the flowers.

He felt bad because he didn’t know what your favorite color was. He’d told the flower vendor he was getting them for you, and the man asked your favorite color. Magnum nearly cried when he realized he didn’t know. He asked your friends and they told him, so he got those color flowers.

He sighed and gently stroked a petal of one of the flowers.

Soft… He thought, just like them…

He smiled as he thought of you. He loved you so very much. Everything about you just made him so… happy. Your eyes, your skin, your voice…

To him, you were perfect.

His smile fell as he continued thinking of you. How he yelled when you told him you wanted to stay with your friends. How he told you he didn’t care about you. How you looked so upset…

He’d apologized, of course, and you forgave him, but he could never forget the look on your face.

He turned to the door as it opened. His First Mate was standing there, timidly.

“Land ho, Captain,” He stated. Magnum smiled and stood up, walking towards the door. He took a breath and mentally prepared himself to see you.

The meeting with your friends and family had gone better than he thought it would. Every year, he expects them to just hate him for whatever reason. But they never do. They welcome him into their home, they let him eat with them, they ask him how things have been…

He doesn’t deserve it.

They all sit in the living room and share stories for hours. Magnum enjoys it a lot. He’s still surprised that he gets along so well with them, the crew as well. He sips his lemonade and listens to two of your friends argue over which actor in a movie was hotter. He sat his lemonade down and cleared his throat, and everyone turned to listen to him.

“So… can I go and… visit?” He asked. They smiled at him.

“Of course!” One girl said, “We went earlier today, so you can have some… alone time.”

Magnum smiled at her and nodded, standing up. A man offered to drive him, so he waved goodbye to everyone else. He didn’t fit in the man’s car, so he borrowed someone’s truck. Magnum sat in the back while the man drove. The wind was whipping at his face, but he really couldn’t complain. At least he didn’t have to walk.

The truck stopped and the man got out. He hit the side of the truck twice to let Magnum know he could get out. He opened the door and slid onto the ground, clutching the bag and flowers. The man laid a hand on his arm.

“I’ll be waiting here until you’re done,” he said. Magnum smiled walked away. He opened the gate and walked in.

He walked over to you and sighed, sitting on the ground. He took the keychain and dolphin and laid them on one side, and laid the flowers on the other. He sat there, just looking for a moment. The tears began burning his eyes and it took almost all of his willpower not to break down sobbing. He sucked in a breath and put a hand on the headstone.

“Hey, Y/N,” He said, his voice wavering. He smiled and swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Happy birthday.”

#markiplier egos #markiplier egos x reader #captain magnum #captain magnum markiplier #ahwm captain #captain magnum x reader #captain magnum x male!reader #captain magnum x female!reader #captain magnum x gender neutral!reader #captain magnum x you #captain magnum x y/n #ahwm x reader #x reader #x male reader #x female reader #x gender neutral reader #x you #x y/n #captain magnum angst

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orange-waterfalls · 4 years

Text

Fragile

@madameboxhead ty for the request

A/N: have an animated Captain Magnum as the picture. Uh... I finished this at 10pm... It may be a bit worse than usual. I tried to finish it quickly. I had fun w/this. Rated T for blood and injury and cursing and some suggestive stuff at the end... Only like one line, so... Eh. I don't think this counts as fluff or angst... So... Captain Magnum being a protective boi. It's short. Have fun.

Word Count: 1.4k

Captain Magnum likes protecting you. In his eyes, you're his precious piece of porcelain that will shatter if you drop it. His priceless jewel that will fall at the slightest movement. To him, you're fragile.

Even if you've told him hundreds of times that you can take care of yourself, he still feels the overwhelming need to defend you. He keeps you by his side every second of the day, he refuses to let you near anything that can be used as a weapon, and he carries you everywhere for fear that you'll trip. Sometimes it's nice to feel loved and defended. Other times, it's really annoying.

You love Magnum, you really do. You also love being able to walk around without the enormous man breathing down your neck. It's nice to be appreciated, but nobody needs this much affection. You want to learn to use a gun to protect yourself, but Magnum won't even let you do near a sharp pencil, much less a gun. You picked up a gun one singular time and he went into a panic. You learned to never even mention weapons around him.

But you learned.

You learned how to slip out of his grip at night to leave the bed. You learned where to step on the floor as to not make a creak. You learned where which room releases the least amount of sound so you can practice your sword fighting and shooting skills. You learned how to shoot by watching Magnum. You learned how to use a sword from some other crewmates. After a few months of practice, you were very good. You knew you couldn't just tell Magnum "Hey! I've been sneaking out at night to practice using dangerous weapons in a quiet room so you couldn't hear me! Wanna see what I learned?" No. That was ridiculous. You just need a chance to show him you can defend yourself… you need to get in trouble. Now, you're smart enough to not go looking for trouble. However, if it came, you would not be one to run from it. So when you see some pirates approaching in a ship nearby, you made no effort to tell Magnum. You just stood, watching for a bit. Once they were more or less a mile away, you decided to tell the captain.

"Uh… Magnum?" You call as innocently as you can. He walks over to you.

"Wha's th' matter, me darlin'?" He asks with a smile. That smile is soon wiped off of his face as he sees the approaching ship. He turns towards the crew. "Man yer battle stations!" He bellows. The crew all go different directions as Magnum leads you below the deck.

"Hey, maybe I could help you guys this time?" You suggest. Magnum smiles softly at you.

"Sweetheart, ye know how I feel about ye bein' around weapons…"

"Yes, I know, but I feel like I can-!"

"Dearest, I don't wants ye gettin' hurt. Jus' stay here 'til I come get ye." You sigh.

"Alright… I love you…" you give him a gentle peck on his cheek scar.

"I love ye too…" he strokes your cheek a moment before going back above deck. You heard his sword brandishing and clashing against others.

Meanwhile, you sat. You sat and waited for an opportunity to come. You didn't want to go above deck and make him angry, though he had never raised his voice at you. You didn't like seeing him upset. So, you'd just wait and see if something would happen. If it didn't, too bad. If it did, hell yeah. So, you waited.

And waited.

And got really bored.

You could still hear the fighting going on upstairs, but it didn't seem to be coming to an end. How long could it take, honestly? You sigh, and suddenly see a sword pierce the wood above your spot on the floor. You help in surprise.

"Ahoy! I heard somethin' down here!" You heard a male voice you didn't know say.

"Well, then go see wha' 'tis ye idiots!" Another, rougher, voice you didn't recognize says. You, suddenly going into flight-mode, hide behind a chest, covering your mouth. Two people walk down under the deck. You heard them walk around slowly, looking for you.

"Oi! Anyone down here?" The original voice you heard calls. "We won't hurt ye…"

"We might kill ye, though!" A female voice laughs. The first one joined in soon after. After about five minutes of them searching, your fear is replaced with annoyance. God, these people were morons. You decide to take matters into your own hands and stand up from your hiding spot, brandishing a gun you took with you. You cock the gun and whistle to get their attention. The pirates spin towards you, holding out their swords. Upon seeing the gun in your hand, they panic and drop them.

"Jeez, some lousy pirates you are," you say smugly. They frown, but put their hands up. You see the female start to reach behind her head, so you shoot her in the thigh. She yells out and falls to the floor. You roll your eyes. "My previous statement stands." You begin walking towards the pirates, but a gunshot through the wood above makes you jump and drop your gun. The unhurt pirate takes the opportunity to grab his sword and run at you. You stumble back and trip over the chest. He swings down at you, and you roll out of the way. You grab the other pirate's sword and hold it out.

"Oh, ye'll be quick t' beat," he says smugly.

"I doubt that, you stupid fuck," you snarl back. He frowns and, with a battle cry, runs at you.

Magnum is really worried about you. He's been fighting the multitude of pirates for a while now, and he wanted to check up and see that you were ok. He figured you'd be fine, but you never know.

Wait… was that a gunshot? And a scream from below deck? No… couldn't be… just in case…

He walks over to the stairs leading below deck, but he's blocked by three pirates all trying to fight him at once. He growls. Who did these bastards think they were, keeping him from his darling?

He continues fighting until all the pirates are either dead or tied up. He goes around to each member to make sure they're alright. They were wounded a bit, but mostly fine. Suddenly, a scream came from below deck. Magnum's heart started racing in fear and he ran over to the stairs. He took out his gun and went down the stairs.

"Y/N! Are you…" he doesn't finish his sentence because of what he sees in front of him.

There you are, standing over the bodies of two pirates. One has a bullet wound, and the other has a sword in his shoulder/chest. Dead or alive, he doesn't know or care. You have blood all over you, and all you do is wipe some of it from your lip onto the back of your hand. You look over at him and smile.

"Hey there, Magnum," you say sweetly. He blinks at you for a moment before running over to you, putting his hands on your shoulders.

"Are ye okay, beauty?" He asks in a worried tone, "Yer covered in blood!"

"Oh, it's not mine," you say. He stares at you.

"That's… better…" he looks at the floor. "Did ye do this all yourself?"

"Yeah! I did! I'm not fragile, Captain," you say. He sighs.

"Okay… um… I feel like ye're tryin' t' teach me somethin'..." You smile.

"I can take care of myself. I know you want to protect me, but I don't need you to be around me all the time."

"Ah… I see…"

"I do love you still, you're just… clingy, darling… do you understand?"

"Yes… I think I do…" he moves a hand from your shoulder to your cheek. You mimic the action, and he leans into your touch. You lean up and kiss him gently. He kisses back, pulling you against his body. You stay like that for half a minute before you pull back for breath.

"Y'know... When ye were standin' thar at first... I thought... 'twas kinda…"

"Hot?" You finish. His face flushes.

"Well…"

"Then, you better cherish this cause you probably won't see it again anytime soon…"

"Oh, I will..."

I'm so tired lol I need sleep

166 notes · View notes

orange-waterfalls · 4 years

Text

Favorite Things

Captain Magnum x gender neutral!reader

@rattyships ty for the request!

A/N: YES the title is a quote, YES it's from That One Song™, YES I based this fic off of that idea, leave me alone. Uh... Christmas. Yeah. Captain Magnum seems way too calm in this fic for my own liking, but y'know. Reader can paint even though I am physically unable to, so. There's that. Fluffy. Rated PG because there's one two "hell"s and one "damn" and that's it. It's cheesy and that's why it's great.

Word Count: 2.0k

You paced around your cabin, very anxious. Christmas was in three days! What were you supposed to get everyone? You didn't know what anyone liked! Or that they even celebrated…

Well, who says no to a gift, right?

You went over to your secret chest (nobody on that damn ship knew how to share) and opened it up to see how much treasure you had. Not much, but it was there. You could buy a lot in normal markets with these. Maybe you could convince the Captain to take you back home for the holidays?

Well, you never know until you try, right?

But what would you buy? They have quite enough gold and jewels, none of them seem to have any interest in anything, you doubted they'd like something homemade…

This was gonna be difficult.

You sighed and closed your chest, walking over to your door. You opened it to find said Captain standing there, the rest of the crew behind him.

"Hi, Captain," you blinked in surprise. You probably should have been more confused than you were, but this boat was already super weird. He was smiling at you.

"Mornin', first mate!" He greeted. "We found a treasure map on a ship we were lootin'. We're about t' start searchin' fer treasure!"

"Oh. Alright. Gimme a minute," you smiled and closed the door. You sighed and rested your back on the door. Maybe you could find something on the island to give them…?

"Yeah, they'll love a nice flower crown…" You snorted at your own idea. You sighed and grabbed up your stuff, opening your door and walking over to the crew. They were all talking about how they couldn't wait to find more treasure. You rolled your eyes. Don't they have enough of it? You took a head count of how many of them there were. Five… five crewmates, five presents. Captain Magnum noticed you and smiled.

"Thar ye be! I thought ye would lock yourself in yer cabin th' whole day!" He, along with the rest of the crew, laughed. You smiled saltily. "Wha' were ye doin' in thar?" You looked around, trying to come up with something.

"Um… I was… I was…" you looked out onto the horizon for a moment, your eyes softening. The crew looked at you.

"Y/N?" One of them called to you. "Are ye-"

"Painting," you interrupted.

"What?" Magnum asked.

"I was… painting…" you looked back to them. They all stared at you for a minute.

"You… you paint?" One woman asked. You smiled and nodded at her. All of the crewmates looked at each other for a minute.

"Uh… wha' d' ye paint?" The other woman asked. You shrugged.

"Whatever, really. Animals, landscapes, whatever's in my room…" you looked over at Captain Magnum to make sure this was okay. He sighed and plopped himself down on a stair. You smiled and turned back to the group.

You explained painting to the crew for 15 minutes. You had no idea they'd be so interested in your hobby. They asked so many questions, some of which you'd somehow never heard. How long had these people been at sea?

Eventually, you looked over to see Captain Magnum looking impatiently at the island the ship landed at 10 minutes ago. You chuckled at him and stood up.

"Captain's getting a bit annoyed, guys. Let's go," the crew complained, but got off of the ship as you walked over to the Captain. He raised an eyebrow at you and you mimicked the action.

"They find ye mighty interestin'," he commented. You smiled.

"Yeah. Not more than you though. I doubt anything could be more interesting than those logs you have for legs." You both looked at each other for a moment before laughing. He stood and you both followed the crew off of the ship.

He lead the way to where the treasure was, the rest of you trailing close behind. One of the crewmates, a boy who looked no older than twenty-one, took your arm. You raised both eyebrows and looked at him.

"So… wha' were ye sayin' about watercolors?" He asked softly. You smiled as the other crew members gathered around you again. You looked up at Captain Magnum, who was smiling at you all. He chuckled and turned back around, continuing to lead the way. You sighed.

"Alright… so watercolor is probably one of the most well-known types of paint…"

You had found treasure on the island, and most of the crewmates became interested in that, but the boy who has asked you about watercolors stayed as you explained how people originally made paints from flowers. You saw the curious look in his eyes, and decided what you were gonna get everyone for Christmas.

You were gonna paint for them.

What, you weren't sure. But you sure as hell were gonna paint. Maybe… their favorite animals? Or maybe an object they really liked…

You decided to ask them what they liked.

The woman with the bandana really liked sea creatures. Specifically, narwhals. They were very pretty and could also impale people. She liked that about them. You didn't think she noticed you scribbling everything she said into a small notebook.

The woman with the eyepatch really liked swords. She knew a lot about them; names, origins, uses… it was slightly unnerving, but you couldn't judge.

The boy liked plants. He liked the fact that they were living beings, just like people and animals. Only, they were smaller and couldn't talk. They could, however, feel. And he liked that. You couldn't get over how soft he was…

The man who was first mate before you liked… hats. He liked that they all basically had the same function, but looked so different. You could respect that. Hats were very cool.

The next day, you decided to paint them pictures of their favorite things in their respective color schemes, and added a different color for each background. A blue and white narwhal with a green background, a red and black sword with a navy blue background, a black and orange flower with a dark green background, and a brown and maroon hat with a pastel red background (no, not pink. There's a difference). You spent an entire day painting the pictures. They turned out very well, in your opinion. You just hoped the crew felt the same.

After you were finished with those, you asked Captain Magnum what his favorite thing was. He thought for a moment, stroking his beard.

"Well… I suppose it'd be treasure!" He answered. You knitted your eyebrows together.

"Really? Treasure?" You asked, hoping for something more.

"O' course, treasure! I be a pirate aft all! Wha' would I like if it nah be treasure?" You sighed in slight disappointment. You thought that you would find something new about him but, nope. He loves treasure the most. You nodded and turned around.

"Well, that or ye." You stopped dead in your tracks. Did you hear that right? You slowly turned back towards him. He looked away from you, towards the horizon. The setting sun illuminated his face, tinting it orange, pink, and yellow. He looked like he was ripped right from a movie...

"What was that?" You asked, slightly distracted by how beautiful he looked.

"Treasure be a pirate's fav'rit thin' o' course. But, since ye showed up... I reckon me fav'rit "thin'" be me first mate. Ye." He said nonchalantly. A small smile creeped onto your face. Magnum looked at you, since you hadn't said anything in a while.

"So, you're saying… you love me?" You asked, fishing for compliments. Magnum flushed a bit. It was mostly hidden due to the sun, but you could still see.

"Well… er…" He scratched the back on his head, thinking of how to respond.

"Cause that's what I'm hearing here…"

"Um…"

"Exactly how much do you love me, Captain?" You smirked, leaning on the side of the ship, your cheek in your palm. Magnum finally took a deep breath and looked in your eyes.

"More than all th' treasure in all th' seven seas…" he stated. Your eyes widened as your smirk fell. You felt your face heat up and you turned away from him.

"Well, uh…" you coughed, "I should… get to bed… wanna be up early tomorrow, so…" you shuffled away.

"First Mate Y/N!" He called. You turned back towards him.

"Merry Christmas." He said. You smiled.

"Merry Christmas, Captain."

You walked into the deck, the crew already gathered. You figured Magnum must've gotten them. You took a deep breath and walked over, the paintings in your arms. The crew all waved and greeted you. You smiled and stood in front of them.

"So, uh… it's Christmas as you may or may not know…" you explained nervously. "So, um… I decided that, as gifts, I was going to paint for you all… and these were the results." You move forward and pass out all the works you painted. All of the crew seemed happy with their pictures. They showed them to each other and gawked over the detail and bragged about how good they looked. You finally walked up to Magnum, who was steering. You held out a painting to him.

"Wha', fer me?" He raised his eyebrows and took the picture. It was of a red, blue, yellow, and black ship with a sunset in the background and sparkling green and blue waves. The words "a pirate's life for me" were written on the back. He laughed heartily and pulled you into a hug.

"Oh, ye really outdid yourself, mate! 'tis wonderful!" He complimented. You managed to pull yourself out of the hug after a minute or two and handed him an envelope. He looked over at the rest of the crew and, upon seeing that no one else had one, tilted his head a bit.

"It's from her," You explained, pointing. Magnum nodded and looked over at the woman who was showing off her narwhal. She glanced at the Captain and winked as the boy with the flower painting giggled. Magnum plopped down onto a step, but you stayed standing. He opened the envelope to reveal a card. On the inside, it said "This thing you two have is special, more special than anything I could try to get. I can, however, make you realize exactly what you have". You frowned.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked. Magnum shrugged and gave you the envelope. You looked inside, seeing something green. You took it out and your eyes widened.

Mistletoe.

Mistletoe?

Where the hell did they find mistletoe?!

You looked at Captain Magnum, who was staring at you. He raised both eyebrows at the plant in your hand. You were holding it between you two accidentally (on purpose).

"We don't 'ave t' if ye don't wants t'..." He told you. You took a deep breath, telling yourself to stop being so weird about it because you knew he loved you back. Besides, the crew had all left to put their gifts in their rooms. You leaned down, since he was sitting, and softly connected your lips. He sat there for a moment, eyes wide, before closing them. You both stayed like that for a few seconds before you pulled away all too soon. His eyes looked hazy as you smiled.

"Merry Christmas." You whispered and walked to your room, leaving Magnum to process what happened.

You entered your room and leaned your back on the door, smiling widely.

"Well, that was the best Christmas present ever…" you mumbled to yourself. You started to giggle as you continued to think about it. You put your hands on your face in embarrassment. It was only a couple seconds, why were you being so weird? You jumped a bit when you heard a gentle knock at your door. You turned around and tilted your head. Who could that be? It was getting late and the crew had already shown their appreciation…

Unless…

You opened the door to reveal, you guessed it, Captain Magnum. He was holding the mistletoe you had left on the deck. You looked at him and raised an eyebrow. He smiled.

"Do ye... Uh... Wanna do that again?" He asked sheepishly. You laughed a bit before smiling up at him.

"Absolutely."

119 notes · View notes

orange-waterfalls · 4 years

Text

Protect Me

Captain Magnum x gender neutral!reader

@obessionfanboy ty for the... request? Request! Ty for the request.

A/N: Me: *uses the exact same picture for two fics*. lol. It seemed to fit here as well and I was too lazy to go back and change the other one... uh this one's angsty, dude. Mostly angst. I had to add fluff at the end I'm SORRY. I had such a good time writing this, dude, I just... AHH. ok. ok I'm good. Rated T for torture, blood and gore(?).

Word Count: 3.2k

Captain Magnum glared angrily towards the horizon as he clutched the wheel tightly. He'd never had a problem with other pirates before. But he never had anything to lose before. And then you came along.

You were his soft spot. His weakness. He knew people would take advantage of that, but he didn't think much of it.

And then they took you.

It all happened so fast. You were sitting next to him, singing a shanty he taught you while the others danced. He couldn't help but stare at your face. Your wonderful face… He found it hard to believe that you were his. Not like you belonged to him. You were your own person. But… you were his! It was too good to be true…

That part was right.

There was a sudden explosion from the left. You would've gone flying if Magnum hadn't caught you. He could barely see through the smoke, but he could make out a ship next to theirs. He led you to his cabin and put you inside.

"Stay here 'til I tell ye 'tis safe," he instructed softly. You grabbed his hand when he tried to walk away from you.

"What? No, I'm helping,"

"No, ye're not. Stay here."

"I'm useful!"

"I know ye be!"

"Then let me-"

"Y/N!" He grabbed your shoulders and looked you in the eyes. You stopped at his sudden authority. "I wants t' keep ye safe… please… I don't want t' lose ye." your eyes softened and you sighed.

"Ok. I'll stay here," you smiled. He kissed your forehead and closed the door. You figured, at least, you could hide a bit better. You found a large barrel in the back of the room. You thought that'd be as good a place as any.

Captain Magnum fought off opposing pirates on the deck with the rest of the crew. His size helped an awful lot. He was much larger and stronger than the other pirates. He batted them away like flies. His ex-first-mate ran up next to him.

"Captain, where be Y/N?" He asked over the gunshots and cannonfire. He had been salty over the fact that you'd been made first mate, but you soon got along. He started thinking of you as a little sibling, so he wanted you to be safe just as much as the captain did.

"Safe in me cabin, don't worry," Magnum answered. The ex…(look, imma just call him… John. His name is John now) John looked over at Magnum's cabin to make sure you were actually safe.

"Uh… Captain?" He called for his attention. Magnum looked at him. He was pointing towards the open door of his quarters.

"Oh, no, no, no, no," he mumbled under his breath as he ran over to the open door. He threw the stuff to and fro, not caring what he broke, trying to find you.

"Oh, God," John whispered. Magnum whipped around to him, finding him staring to the side. He ran over to see what he was looking at. There you were.

Tied up.

In the arms of the enemy.

Magnum couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. He'd lost you. He'd failed you. He wanted to keep you safe… that's all he wanted to do.

"Um... I found... I found this attached t' th' wall..." John said and handed a letter to the Captain. He gently took it.

"If you want them back, you'll follow these directions…"

You sat staring blankly at the ocean while the pirates drank and cheered all around you. You were tied to the mast in the center of the ship, unable to move your arms. You were sitting. The captain of the ship walked over to you.

"Oh, come on, now. Lighten up!" he shouted. "We be good scallywags... Right fellas?!" the entire crewed bellowed out a "yeah" that shook you to your core.

"What you are is a bunch of squiffy miscreants who need to let me the fuck go," You snarled. You had picked up a bit of pirate slang while on the ship. You learned that "squiffy" meant "stupid" and "miscreant" meant "villain".

"Oh, I see we 'ave a brave one here," the captain chuckled darkly. You turned your head away from him, but he grabbed your chin and turned you back towards him. "I don't reckon ye understand... I be-" his villainous monologue was cut off by you biting his thumb. He yelled out and stumbled back.

"Fuck you, dickhead!" You shouted.

"Ow, wha' in Davy Jones' locker! Are ye feral or somethin'?" He hissed as he cradled his bleeding hand. You bared your teeth and growled like a wild animal. The crew all stepped back. He looked at them, then turned to you. "I don't take disrespect lightly. I bet we can fix that courage o' yers…" he snapped and two men untied you from the pole. You kicked them and ran towards the plank at the side of the ship. You turned towards them as they stepped towards you.

"Don't move! I'll jump! I will!" You warned. The captain held out his hand for the crew to stop walking.

"Listen, kid, we be plannin' on holdin' ye fer ransom against Captain Magnum. If he gets here 'n ye're dead? Well, then, we be jus' gonna kill 'im 'n his crew, 'n take thar loot fer ourselves. Ye wouldna like that, now would ye?" He asked. You frowned and looked at the water below before sighing and walking back onto the deck. "Yeah, that's wha' I thought." You could hear the smirk in his voice and it made you sick. A particularly large man with an eyepatch led you under the deck. He closed the hatch and pulled out a knife. Your eyes widened as you stumbled back and fell onto the floor. You started to hyperventilate and tried to move away from him. He sighed.

"This will hurt less if ye jus' sit thar 'n take it."

The crew finally arrived where they were told to go. Captain Magnum instructed two crewmates to bring a chest full of treasure. John ran up to him.

"But, Captain, can't we try 'n-" he began.

"Would ye rather 'ave treasure or 'ave Y/N back?" He responded bluntly. John opened his mouth, but sighed when he realized he had nothing to argue.

They walked into an abandoned building and entered a room that looked like it used to be a ballroom. The opposing captain sat in a velvet chair at the top of some stairs.

"Well, well, well! Look who finally decided t' show up! One eyed Jack was gettin' tired…" he mocked. Magnum clenched his fists at the implication that something happened to you.

"I brought yer treasure. Give me back me first mate," he glowered.

"Oh, come on now. Why so serious? Can nah we chat first? How was yer day?" The captain laughed. Magnum's crew all took out guns and pointed them at the opposing crew. The captain rolled his eyes.

"Alright, fine, take yer mate. They was so borin'. They barely even screamed durin' th' torture…"

Magnum could feel his face heat up in anger. His body went cold as he saw a large man drop your limp body in front of him. He breathed shakily as he saw the blood all over you. He could see tears stream down your face. Your breathing was shallow and your eyes were closed. Jack and another crewmate lifted you up and carried you back to the ship. Magnum refused to look up from the floor.

"Now, hand o'er th' chest, Magnum," the captain said in a sing-song voice. Two crewmates started sliding the chest over to the opposite crew, but Magnum blocked them with his log-leg.

"Fight me fer it." Magnum demanded.

"Pardon?"

"If ye're such a good pirate, then fight me fer th' chest."

"Wha'? No! That wasn't th' deal!"

"I guess if ye're too scared…" The pirate clenched his fists for a moment before smirking.

"Alright, then, Captain, ye've got yourself a deal." Both men stood in the center of the room. "Good ole-fashioned duel?" Magnum nodded and took out his pistol. The other captain did the same. One eyed Jack stood back a bit, and leaned over to Captain Magnum, covering his mouth with his hand and whispering something in his ear. The other captain didn't think much of it. His first mate would never do anything to harm him.

One-eyed Jack counted to ten paces, but the opposing captain turned before he finished. He had a shit-eating grin on his face, thinking he'd caught Magnum off-guard. His grin fell when he saw Magnum already pointing his pistol. Both men fired, but in his panic, the other captain missed. Magnum did not. The captain fell, screaming and holding his shoulder. Magnum looked down at him for a moment before putting his pistol away and lifting the chest, taking it back to the ship. His crew followed. The other captain sat on the floor, breathing heavily as blood gushed out of the wound. One-eyed Jack leaned down to him.

"Wha' in Davy Jones' locker did ye say t' 'im?!" The captain yelled. One-eyed Jack took the Captain's hat and put it on his own head.

"That ye always turn at 9, cap'n," he monotoned. The captain stared at him in disbelief as the larger man patted his good shoulder and left him there to bleed.

Captain Magnum stared at you from across his cabin as John patched you up. You stared blankly into space, and it was making him nervous. You hadn't said a single word since you got back. You'd barely even moved. He'd tried to get you to eat something but you just sat, staring. He was worried.

Jack finished with the last bandage and patted your arm.

"Feel better soon, kid," he whispered. You made no response. He sighed and nodded to the captain as he left. Magnum slowly walked over to you and sat in the chair by the bed.

"A-Ahoy, beauty... How... How are ye doin'?" He stuttered. You didn't respond. "How much... Does it hurt?" Still nothing. "Are ye okay?" You made absolutely no effort to make any sort of sign to let him know anything. He felt his stomach tighten when he realized you were probably in shock or… traumatized or… something. He felt tears stinging his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He needed to be strong. For you.

"Ye... ye needs t' eat. Ye... prolly lost a lot o' blood. Ye needs t' eat." he said desperately. He sat a plate down in front of you. Nothing. "I'll... Be here if ye wants t' talk. I won't weigh anchor. I promise I won't." He moved to the other side of the room again, wanting to give you space.

You didn't move for the rest of the day. It had gotten dark, and two meals had passed. You hadn't moved an inch. You just sat staring into space. He tried to initiate conversation a few times, but stopped when he finally figured out you weren't going to respond anytime soon. When night came around, he figured he'd get into bed with you. You did close your eyes as he laid you down and held you close to his chest.

"I love ye," he whispered against your head. You didn't respond.

You made no effort to get up in the morning. Magnum had to sit you up against the wall himself. He brought you breakfast and tried to coerce you into eating again. When that didn't work, he tried to feed you. He held a piece of food up against your mouth. You did nothing, even when he practically begged you to eat something. You did, however, let the water slide down your throat when he tilted your head back and poured. He figured that was good, so he left you alone. Not once did he leave the room when you were going through this. He stated by your side the whole time and left Jack in charge of the ship. He talked to you, knowing you wouldn't answer. He didn't even know if you could hear him. It didn't look like you could.

Every morning he sat you up, trying to ask how you were, eventually leaving you alone.

Every meal, he tried to feed you and eventually gave up, giving you water.

Every other hour he tried to make conversation, eventually realizing it wasn't working.

Every night he laid you down and held you close, saying I love you, eventually realizing you weren't going to say it back.

This went on for… days? Weeks? He'd lost track at this point. He barely slept at night because he wanted to make sure you wouldn't have nightmares. You had one or two, but mostly, you were fine. He didn't eat until you drank water, and he spent hours trying to feed you. He felt like his sanity was slipping every day you weren't alright.

One night, while he was holding you close as always, he said something different.

"I won't always be able t' protect ye, I know I won't. But I needs ye t' trust that I'll try me best," he paused, hoping you would respond. You didn't. He sighed. "I love ye…" he thought he felt you clutch onto his shirt as he was falling asleep. Nah. Couldn't be. He thought.

He sat you up against the wall in the morning, as always. A crewmate brought food and sat in on the bed. He sighed as he watched you for a minute. Your eyes looked… better. Less dull. He shook his head, brushing it off as his imagination. He picked up the food and held it up to your mouth.

"Please, darlin', please. Jus'... Eat?" He begged. You didn't move. He looked down, feeling the tears. No. Not now. Be strong. He told himself. He took a deep breath and looked back up at you. You were sitting there, same position, with your mouth slightly open.

Wait…

Your mouth… was open! Only a bit, but it was open. Magnum felt his hand start to shake in excitement and joy, but he kept it down. He swallowed, deciding to push his luck.

"Well, ye can nah put grub in that wee space. Come on, open up!" he pushed. One side of your mouth upturned a bit, but fell back to its original position as you opened your mouth wider. Magnum smiled and breathed shakily as you chewed the food and swallowed.

You are the entire plate, and he gave you water like always. He sat on his knees, laying his head on his arms, watching you for any other movement. You glanced at him occasionally and that was like all the treasure in the world to him. He sat back in his chair and started talking again. You seemed to be listening, or at least paying attention to him, so he kept talking he made a joke at one point and you exhaled through your nose, grinning slightly. It was the most beautiful thing to him in that moment.

You would open your mouth to let him feed you for the next couple days, and you'd make small responses to things he'd tell you. You'd tilt your head slightly, raise your eyebrows a bit, he even got the occasional eye roll. He would watch you the whole time he talked just to see these little actions. They were what kept him going.

A few weeks after you'd started this, he'd stayed up all night trying to see you do something. He'd already fed you breakfast, and it'd be time for lunch soon. He sat at the other side of the cabin, looking at you. You sat straighter in the bed. You actively looked around instead of just staring at one place, and your fingers occasionally twitched when you saw something you found interesting. He tried to stay awake to feed you lunch, but he just couldn't. He fell asleep in the chair.

He woke up feeling groggy, the way you do after a nap. His neck was sore and his back was stiff. His vision was blurry, and he groaned as he adjusted to the lighting of midday. His first thought was to look over and see what you were doing. You were just sitting there, eating…

You were eating?! You were eating!

You were picking up the food and putting it into your mouth, drinking too!

Magnum almost shot up from his chair as he realized this, making both the chair and the floor creak in protest. You looked over at him, eyes wide. In your eyes was confusion with a slight hint of fear. Magnum sat back down, hands clutching the armrests. You turned back to your food and continued eating, glancing at him in concern. He just sat there and watched you, wide eyed, a goofy smile on his face. When you finished your food and water, he sped over to the bed and plopped in the chair. You leaned back a bit, and you both sat there staring at each other for a solid minute. He cleared his throat.

"Ahoy, beauty!" He said in a raised voice. You winced, so he quieted down. "How are ye doin'?" He asked. You gave him a small smile and a thumbs up. Magnum felt his heart speed up and his breathing quicken.

"How much does it hurt?" You held your hand with your palm facing the ground, shaking it a bit. He nodded.

"Are ye okay?" You smiled again and nodded slightly. Magnum felt the tears again and let them fall. Your smile dropped as you set a gentle hand on his shoulder, shaking it slightly.

"I be okay, I be alright. 'tis alright. I be jus'... So, so happy ye're okay…" he reassured. You smiled and laid your head on his shoulder as he started talking. You participated a bit more during his storytelling, letting out little gasps and laughs and "oh"s and "eee"s and… it was a bit overwhelming for him. He hadn't heard this much out of you in months. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed it…

You ate your other meals on your own as he just watched you. You blushed and turned away from him a few times, which made him laugh.

A few days later, he'd decided that it'd be a good time to take you out onto the deck. The crew stopped what they were doing and looked at you in concern and surprise. Jack was in the middle of a story, and Magnum told him to continue. He kept watching you for any sign of anything bad, but smiled when you let out a snicker. The crew understood that you probably wouldn't want to talk about your… experience and left you alone about it. You still hadn't really talked, but they were happy with what you had done.

That night, Magnum got into bed with you, same as always. This time you turned and snuggled up into him yourself. He smiled at the affection he missed oh so much. He sighed and kissed your head, whispering the same thing he always did. This time, you responded.

"I love you more…" you whispered in a scratchy voice. He decided to push.

"More than wha'?" He asked. You don't answer for a moment and he worried.

"More than all the treasure and adventure in all the seven seas…" you finally stated. He smiled and pulled you close, holding you tight and never wanting to let go...

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orange-waterfalls · 4 years

Text

It's Not A Joke

Captain Magnum x gender neutral!reader

@sierracolorstheworldofwords ty for the request!

A/N: The ending was a bit rushed because I wanted to get it done before I went to sleep and it is almost midnight,,, so,,, uh Rated T for swearing. Magnum being an oblivious FUCK and reader getting tired of his bullshit. Fluff. Slight angst at some points. This one's a bit short, sorry. Enjoy!

Word Count: 1.9k

You stare at Captain Magnum and sigh. He was so wonderful… he was fun, handsome, not to mention tall…

It's really no surprise you have a crush on him.

Every single person on the crew knows of your little crush, and you know that they know. It was obvious! You'd always stutter around him, you blushed whenever he complimented you, and you did everything he asked of you immediately and without question. Everyone knows.

Except, of course, the captain himself.

Everyone was surprised he didn't know, including you. You thought you were being pretty open about it. Granted, you hadn't actually told him yet, but he probably should've figured it out by now. For a pirate captain, he was pretty dumb.

"Really? Again?" Magnum's previous first mate asks. You'd started talking to him after you were made first mate, and you two got along. You both could complain about the captain to each other. You also learned his name was First Mate John. Well… just John now. You'd have to help him come up with a pirate name soon. You were a pretty shy person, but you were less so around John. You felt like you could be comfortable around him.

"Yes, again. What else am I supposed to do?" You scoff.

"I dunno... tell 'im?"

"If he hasn't figured it out by now, I'm not sure I want to," you both laugh.

"Fair enough," he smirks, 'but are ye at least gonna drop some hints or somethin'?" You slowly turn your head towards him.

"What do you think I've been doing the last 3 months?" You joke. He snorts and pats your shoulder.

"Best o' luck t' ye, kid," he chuckles. You give him a small wave goodbye and go back to looking at Magnum. He stands up from his spot on the stair leading to the wheel and starts walking over to you. You go into a mini panic as your heart speeds up and you go back to mopping the floor.

"First Mate Y/N!" He booms. You flinch at the volume.

"H-Hi captain," you stutter, avoiding his gaze, "W-What can I do for you?" He sets a strong hand on your shoulder and you buckle under the strength, your face heating up.

"I was wonderin' if ye would like t' be in charge o' th' next lootin'," he explains, "Ye've been here a while 'n I reckon ye could do it." Your eyes widen and you look up at him. That was apparently a bad idea because you were unable to form actual words after that.

"We, uh… I do.. I mean I'd… um…" you sputter out. He looks at you worriedly.

"Ye alright? Ye look unwell…" he reaches out and feels your forehead. You almost instantly pull away from him. He frowns.

"Ye're burnin' up, mate! Are ye sick?" He gently sets a hand on your head. You duck away, dropping your mop.

"I'm fine!" Your voice cracks, "I'm perfectly okay I just uh… I need to rest a bit is all! Yeah…" you speedwalk to the cabin you share with John and shut the door.

Magnum stands in the middle of the deck, feeling very confused.

"That was strange," he said to himself, "I wonder wha' th' problem be…"

About half an hour passed and you were sitting in your bed, your face in your hands. You went over the interaction several times in your head, feeling the same amount of embarrassment and shame each and every time. John walks into your shared room, looking smug.

"I reckon that went well, don't ye?" He teases.

"Shut up…" you groan.

"If he didn' know ye liked 'im afore, he oughta know now."

"And if he doesn't, I'm throwing myself overboard." John laughs and sits on your bed. You peek at him through your fingers.

"Kid, I mean no offense towards th' cap'n, but he's a moron. At least when it comes t' feelin's," you snort in agreement. "Ye needs t' tell 'im directly if ye wants 'im t' know." You remove your hands from your face and sigh.

"Ok… I'll tell him…" you pause. "Later…" John smiles at you.

"There we go," he consoles. He thinks for a moment, wondering what could take your mind off things, before speaking again. "So, the other day, what were you saying about a heist?"

That night, you walk out of your cabin, your knees shaking. John had given you another pep talk, along with a couple other crewmates. You felt a little better, but it didn't really help with your anxiety. Your heart is beating so fast you were afraid it would stop. Your palms are oh so very sweaty, and your legs have gone numb at this point. You barely feel them carrying you over to the captain, who was at the wheel. You stand next to him for five minutes, waiting for him to notice you're there. Eventually, he does.

"Ah! First Mate!" He bellowd. You flinch. "Wha' can I do fer ye?" You take a deep breath in.

"I have something to tell you, captain," you say shakily. Neither of you say anything for a while, and you wonder if he heard you.

"Well? Go on then!" He instructs.

"R-Right… ok… um…" you stammer. You keep playing with a button on your shirt, trying to think of what to say. You can feel his eyes on you and it made you even more nervous. Why did you let them talk you into this? You weren't ready! You couldn't do this. You… you…

You look to the side and see John watching you from behind the mast. He gives you a thumbs up. You respond with a smile and he leaves, decided to let you do this on your own. You take a deep breath and…

"I like you, captain," you blurt out. Magnum doesn't respond and you get scared.

"Be that all?" He laughed, "well, I like ye too!" You blink and look up at him. His face didn't seem to change very much. You're about to smile, but pause.

"Captain… I don't think you understand me…"

"O' course I do! I be yer cap'n, ye're part o' me crew, o' course we like each other!" You stare at him.

"That's not what I meant,"

"Oh? 'n wha' did ye mean?"

"I meant…" you pause, wondering if you should just give up. No. You made it this far. Finish it. you command yourself.

"I meant I love you." You say. He looks at you, eyebrows furrowed. "Like… I'm in love with you." You continue, hoping he gets it. He's quiet for a moment before laughing.

"That's real funny, Y/N!" He chortles. You stare at him before letting out a laugh.

"Yeah. Ok. Sure. Yeah, of course. That's fine. I don't even care! That's fucking fantastic!" You grumble. He stops laughing and looks at you.

"That's some language… are ye ok?" He asks. You start walking back to your cabin.

"Yeah, I'm ok! Of course I'm ok! Why wouldn't I be ok?!" You yell and slam your door. Magnum stands there, wondering what just happened.

John opens the door a couple minutes later and walks in.

"Ahoy bud… Ye alright?" He asks gently.

"I don't want to talk about it," you growl.

"Aw, bud…"

"It's not even the fact that he doesn't like me! It's the fact that he laughed! Why would he do that?" You lamented. John set a hand on your shoulder. He's about to say something to try and make you feel better, but he stops.

"Wait… he laughed?" John asks.

"Yeah… why?"

"Would you mind telling him again tomorrow?"

"What? Why the hell would I do that?"

"I want to test something. Please?" He begs. You look at him and sigh.

"Fine… this better be good…"

You and the rest of the crew sit and tell stories. Most of the stories are coming from Magnum, but you're not really listening. He notices this and tries to tell more interesting stories, or stories that he thinks you'll find interesting. You still refuse to even look at him, so he lets other people talk.

"Tell him. Right now," John whispers. You sigh and turn to look at Magnum. He leans forward a bit, wanting to hear what you have to say.

"I love you, captain," you say confidently. The whole crew looks at you, and then at Magnum.

"You made that joke last night, Y/N," he laughs.

"It wasn't a joke," you say. His smile falls. The crew decides that it would be a good time to leave, and that's exactly what they do.

"Wha'?"

"It wasn't a joke."

"Wha' do ye mean?"

"I mean I do love you, captain. I'm in love with you. I would like to be in a relationship with you…" your face heats up and you start sweating. God, why were you saying this? Maybe this was the only way he'd understand…

You look up at him and see a confused look on his face. Oh, fuck it… you think.

"I want a relationship with you. I want to hug you and kiss you and hold you close. I want to make you smile and I want to be your shoulder to cry on if you need me to. I want to whisper sweet nothings to you as we fall asleep. I want you to let me love you." You explain, heart racing. Both of you are silent for a minute. You squeeze your eyes shut, waiting for rejection.

"Oh…" he says, uncharacteristically soft. "I… love ye too…" you look at him. He's looking at you, a slight blush on his face.

"You… you do?" He nods a bit. "Then why in the name of Davy Jones did you think it was a joke?!" You shout.

"I didn' know ye'd like me back! I thought ye liked John!"

"What do you mean you thought I liked John?"

"I mean I thought ye liked John!"

"WHY WOULD YOU THINK I LIKED JOHN?!"

"I DUNNO, YE SEEM COMFORTABLE AROUND 'IM, I THOUGHT THAT MEANT YE LIKED 'IM!"

"Oh my God…" you rub the bridge of your nose. "Why did you think I'm always so nervous around you?"

"I thought... y'know... ye found me intimidatin'..."

"Of course I find you intimidating that doesn't mean I don't like you."

"Oh…" He rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Uh... Sorry I was so ignorant t' yer... Affection…" you chuckle at the apology.

"Sorry I didn't tell you sooner," you both sat there, just looking at each other.

"So uh… should we… should we kiss?" He asks nervously.

"Only if you want to. We don't ha-" you're cut off by his lips settling onto yours. You put your hands on his shoulders to keep you upright. He puts his hands on your neck, tilting your head to where he's comfortable.

"Awww!" Multiple voices say from behind you.

"Get a room!" John calls out. You pull away and bury your head in Magnum's shoulder, your face burning.

"Oi! If ye all aren't swabbin' th' deck in th' next five seconds, ye're walkin' th' plank!" He commands. The crew all scramble to get to work. You sigh and pull back to look at him.

"I'm… gonna go help them…" you murmur with a blush. He sighs.

"Ah, okay... We'll... Continue later," he states. You smile and walk away, grabbing your mop. As you mop, you glance at Magnum, seeing him watch you with a lovesick grin on his face. John, also holding a mop, slides up next to you.

"So, when's th' weddin'?"

"Shut up, you fuck!"

the ending is so obviously rushed I'm sorry lol

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