#cant they just have a fucking break jfc
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🤏🐸💚.
#finished this just in time to cope w today's ep#cant they just have a fucking break jfc#my brain is full of thoughts about them#my art#din djarin#grogu djarin#clan mudhorn#a clan of two#the mandalorian#star wars#mando#grogu#baby yoda#pedro pascal
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moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love
#i mean if the alternative is whatever the fuck is going on with my best friend rn then hooooo boy#cancelling therapy immediately i never want to change i wanna keep my trust issues forever and ever if its gonna save me from THIS#is he a dick? kinda. yeah. and a coward because if dude was sure he didnt want it since AUGUST and didnt have the guts to end it till now#actually he didnt end it. she was the one who finally snapped. but we seriously fought twice before because she just woudlnt listen#when i said that girl this isnt gonna work and you trust him too much and you're attachment styles are incompatible as hell#your*#but nvm. the least you could do when a 7 years younger girl who's clearly obsessed with you is breaking up with you#cause she just cant take it anymore. and you can see she's still in love with you because you've been lying to her for half a year.#imo the least you could do at that point is just. dont tell her that jfc. just say you're sorry it didnt work out etc etc#dont fucking tell her you stopped being in love with her in fucking august#and just 'didnt know how to end it' and lied when she asked if everything's alright#like my god. yes ig this would never have happened if she hadn't trusted him so completely and expected love to fix her whole life#but jesus dude. she's not even 23 she has a right to be naive. you're almost 30. you DONT get to be a man child anymore#christ. okay.#anyway i wish i could help her but telling her to 'trust less' and 'never truly rely on other people' sounds horrible and cringe and edgy af#but i genuinely dont have any other advice#like babygirl im sorry but your bestie is a piece of human garbage and she's doing the best she can but her best is Not Much alas
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me currently ^
#(csa warning for tags)#jeeesus i am so done with everything. its not wven that bad i dont know why i’m as upset as i am#school is just fucking hell the past couple days for some reason. even though we literally just had march break. idk. the cycle is really#hitting me hard lately i guess#and my fucking anxiety is coming back like i swear to god everyone is staring at me and laughing and i know it’s not true but jfc it feels#like it. it hasn’t been this bad since before my diagnosis#and i’m absolutely convinced my friends fucking hate me and we’ve kicked ppl out of our friend group before (they were racist and#transphobic) and im so fucking scared it’ll happen to me#and i know it’s a completely unfounded fear but oh my god its fucking paralyzing#and i feel like im seven again and completely and utterly alone and im so so so scared of it happening again#im so fucking scared of being alone. i just want someone to talk to#and like the reason i’m spiralling isn’t even important. it’s literally bc some of my friends have stopped eating lunch with me#like it’s so fucking stupid but i can’t get over it#and two of them don’t bc they got imto relationships and im happy for them and i know its not expected or anything to get into one in hs#like logically i know that and i tell myself that all the time but godddd it doesnt stop me from feeling like im fucking broken all the time#literally not a single person has ever seen me as anything other than a friend. and im not even fully convinced abt that.#like. why does everyone have experiences with ppl liking them and not a single person ever has liked me#like what the fuck is so wrong with me that no one will ever love me#literally the only fucking person who has ever wanted me. EVER. was a grown fucking man that raped me as a child#and i cant even fucking remember it. I CANT REMEMBER WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE WANTED#and i know its some sick twisted way to look at it. like this grown fucking man raped me when i was younger than 8 and all i can think about#is how that was the only time anyone’s ever wanted me#and like i don’t even actually WANT anything. i just want someone to like me. i want someone to like me so fucking bad#the scariest part abt it is that i want it to fucking happen again because i just want to be wanted#i’m absolutely fucking terrified of never being wanted. ever. it’s the scariest shit in the world to me#bc as far as my life has been it’s been true. all my childhood bullies have been fucking right#the only time i have ever been desirable was when i was younger than 8. now people literally fucking gag when they look at me#and i dont fucking know what to do#rambles#vent
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sometimes I revert into an animalistic state of rage over things not doing what they're supposed to 👍
#just spent 2 hours figuring out how to stop my headphones from connecting to my fucking phone which I never listen to anything on and have#bluetooth turned OFF for#I may have started hitting my leg in flustration and it hurts now#BUT#I figured it out and DIDN'T break anything#just let me listen to my music in peace jfc I cant listen to whatever my parents are talking about downstairs or I very quickly revert to#The Bad Place
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Damn now I got more college slut Tim/big Dick Alex on the brain 👀
The first time they fuck, Tim is left completely overwhelmed and overstimulated. Alex pushes into Tim and abt halfway in, Tim is like "holy shit are you in me yet jfc" and Alex is just absolutely cocky abt it.
He purposely drags it out, taking extra time with Tim just to get his toes curled and get him whining under him. He makes it his goal to make Tim cum as many times as he can in that one night so he can remember, while they're on set and Tim's being a little shit, that we was able to break him down into a moaning, whining, desperate mess.
And at first, Tim is cocky and telling him 'cmon big boy fuck me already yk you wanna' but the second Alex is in him, hes coming apart. He can't keep being cocky for long, really
god . tim walking around like :3 u wanna kiss me so bad it makes u look fucking stupid :33 all day until alex gets him alone and he cant get a sentence out right bc every time he starts talking shit alex thrusts into him and fuck seriously alex youre such an assh- (what? you wanna speak up? you sound like a whore)
and tims never been especially loud for anyone else but somewhere between the third time he cums on alexs dick and when they finish something snaps in him and he just cant fucking help but whimper and squirm whenever alex touches him, moaning into his mouth when they kiss, covering his mouth when alex goes down on him bc its so fucking embarrassing to be this noisy how do people live with themselves alex keeps saying shit abt it and tim feels like hes fucking dissolving he cant think straight he cant think abt anything
he crashes at alexs place bc he can barely walk and alex is like whoopsie daisy maybe i went overboard haha :) anyways did you happen to keep count? like do we have a final number? and tim lifts his head up all bleary eyed and sweaty covered in bruises w his hair fucking everywhere and tells him he has no idea bc (alex cant physically get hard again so why the fuck is he) he lost track after seven.
jay wont stop asking tim at rehearsal the next day who fucked his neck up (give me a gender at least- come on im literally working with everyone on campus who likes guys except for me and, like, alex.) while brian is quietly observing that alex has the tiniest shadow of a bruise on his shoulder, half-hidden by the collar of his shirt, like someone bit him there recently. or something.
#g.txt#nsft#timlex#tim whos always been service orientated and reserved and doesnt completely know his body getting studied and then completely destroyed ..#he deserves it i think
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i have a handful of songs i love listening to while playing olba (to the point where i cant listen to them without thinking about cove LOL) and i think kissaphobic by make out monday is just. cove's anthem, basically. it perfectly encapsulates his anxiety over being romantic with the MC when they start dating. it especially fits for when you're dancing with cove at the charity event, even if ur not dating yet
*link | *lyics
first of all. the way the MV is a prom setting is CRAZY. BUT THE FUCKING VOCALS IS CRAZIER ITS SO FUCKING GOOD WHAT THE FUCK
i.. am adding this to my playlist. wow. please share what other songs you listen to bc you must be holding onto a treasure trove !??!
but wow.. this is so cove, youre so right. it's so perfect to portray his anxiety, and that verse
" But I can't get too close to you my darling, can't get too close
And God help me if I do, you'll leave me broken hearted
You'll leave me stitching my lips up again, "
it makes me think of at the end of step 3, when cove doubts if your relationship will last. idk how many of you have seen it, but i believe theres a post where GB said MC is the only one cove would date n that otherwise, he remains single.
you just know that cove and MC breaking up (or not being friends, or never dating) would be a kill his heart. like i hate rejecting cove in step 4 after crushing the entire game, because imagine loving someone most of your life!!!
it's your entire life as far as you're concerned! those 8 years before cove n MC met wouldn't mean anything because it'd be a total haze, all those years spent together with something sparking between em... n still never coming to fruition. EVEN WORSE. MC ending up with derek or baxter after all that (i'm more so thinking of when he says "I'm fine now" after you date baxter, at the end of baxter's DLC during the party for anyone who doesn't know what part he says that.)
god my heart would shatter if i was him
jfc you're making me spiral LOL IT'S SO GOOD. ok gbye imma go play this on loop for hours straight
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theres just too many things that keep adding up that make me absolutely bonkers about avanine...
the moment ava notices janine is the moment she percieves the teacher as a threat. ava doesnt give a fuck about her job except for the fact that she gets a paycheck at the end of the day. she fucks around and makes life absolute hell for the abbott staff. janine is like nah no more of this. so ava, being the literal queen bee of the school, she bullies janine any way she can to assert her dominance in the hierarchy. time goes on and jfc ava is relentless. we only see the carefully crafted persona he has created for the cameras and yet- janine is able to learn things ava tries to keep hidden. janine needs help creating tiktoks to get supplies for her class. ava helps her because its her area of expertise and gest extremely excited about it. janine tries to set up a gifted program ava tells her why these things wont work out (in the end shes right) sahar comes to school it makes ava jealous. janine puts together a step class. ava joins in after being "on vacation" and is a total flake and nobody believes in her but janine persists. janine insists she has confidence ava will do the right thing. and when in the end she bails, janine learns the real reason ava has been so wishywashy is because shes been taking care of her grandmother. they share a moment on the bench (the bench thats been compared to other romcom couple defining moments when in relation to gregory) ava whom literally hides herself behind her many wigs tucks her hair behind her ear when she has this bench conversation with janine. time goes on. avas job is in danger. janine is the first person that comes to her aid. because what is abbott without ava as their principal. janine breaks up with tariq. end of season one.
school is back in session! development day begins and ava is pimping out the parking lot. janine is upset over how ava is absolutely not giving a single fuck about the preparation of the year. janine is overwhelmed with all her issues and ava is visibly concerned but not verbally. no never verbally. gritty hugs janine. ava hugs gritty and takes a selfie. ava keeps said photoshopped selfie in her office. without janine of course. janine campaigns for computers for the school but unfortunately repairs take priority so she becomes sad that she cant make the kids feel as special as the charter school. ava compiles the leftover money and gets them waterice and it makes janine happy that the kids have something to enjoy. ava has asked janine to get mcdonalds in her ava way to which janine declined. it is implied that ava has aksed janine to hang out on several occasions eveb though shes the one that insisted that she couldnt b seen in public with janine. halloween rolls around and janine is invited to a party. her current costume is not fit for the party. ava somehow has a costume in her size that she can wear. janine looks good as hell. ava tells her exactly so. but of course she doesnt tell her she looks as good as herself. janine gets sick because of avas antics. ava begrudgingly owns up to it and takes over as substitute of janines class. janine knows ava wont pay attention to what she has to say unless theyre on facetime. ava doesnt have janines number saved. ava learns what it takes to be in janines shoes as a teacher. ava orders some more paper. janine runs into ava (and gregory) at a hookah lounge. ava interrupts gregory and janines moment by complimenting janines dancing. ava compliments how nice janine looks in her dress. janine finds out ava has a boyfriend. ava's boyfriend is a basketball player. ava says hes been dating her for five years but shes only been dating him for two. ava officially noticed janine two years ago. janine is a literal fan of avas boyfriend. ava doesnt ask but tells janine shes coming with them to continue partying. janine leaves with ava at the end of the night. then the fight between two students happens. janine is smaller than them but still tries to break it up. ava comes to the rescue and pushes janine behind her protectively. janine and gregory finally kiss. ava has been pushing them together basically the whole time. janine has been dating maurice and she breaks up with him. gregory and janine confess their feelings for eachother. janine isnt ready. they keep missing eachother. its never quite right for them. ava is inspired to return to college. end of season two.
ava is even more of a menace than she ever was in the past. she drops the suggestive commentary towards gregory but the quips towards janine never change even in her new professional principal persona. (janine confesses how she feels to gregory. gregory rejects janine. their timing is once again just not right. ava has seen this video over and over again. ava is extremely attentive to janine and gregory's relationship) ava is eager to show just how much she has learned and how good she can be as a principal and everyone is miserable. janine doesnt notice because shes being poached by the district. they finally figure out how to reset ava to her formal self. janine knew exactly how to do it all along. janine knows ava best out of anyone at abbott. janine leaves and ava returns to her typical ava self. janine returns for carreer day and immediately happily greets ava. the school is in commotion and janine seeks out ava to find out what is going on. end of the first two episodes of season three
JANINES WARDROBE HAS BEEN INSPIRED AND INTRODUCED TO PIECES SIMILAR TO THOSE THAT AVA HAS BEEN ICONICALLY RECOGNIZED FOR
#fuck autocorrect for changing ava to available KILL MEEEE#LIKE AM I CRAZY????? THIS IS LITERALLY ONLY THE THINGS THAT HAVE ACRUALLY HAPPENED AND I KNOW UM LEAVING SHIT OUT#abbott elementary spoilers#avanine#long post
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god i love u fr
anw so— birds of a feather quite literally fucked up my day (in a good way) like im so invested into this story and im just in awe of the level of literacy in the way u write and im kinda taking some notes and learning from u in a way?? i mean that in a very appreciative way and i think ur genuinely one of a kind absolutely gem writer on this app like i could go on and on abt the way you write your characters and their chemistry w each other like ugh im eating it up im so full
so onto the actual fic, WHAT THE FUCK RIKI?? when i catch u riki istg, my heart SANK at that last part like i knew something was up bc he hasn't caused anything in a while and that was like a bullet sized dagger straight through my heart jfc. he had me all bamboozled and im actually feeling rage at the way mc showed vulnerability to him only to be backstabbed by him and now he's like dragging her w a noose around her neck— it's insane how he immediately dismissed mc and jumped the gun at how she could only be lying like that part just made him go from my fav character to my most loathed character. also suddenly the few mentions of riki being 'cute and evil' compared to everyone else makes so much sense, and tbh i don't trust that he'd stay quiet abt those ss he's just gonna be bored and leak them after a while i feel like.
oh and i cant forget abt the jay scene in the hotel GOD i had such a viceral emotional reaction to every dialogue they said— my brain is thoroughly jumbled, a smut scene on ecstasy could never compare to the gut wrenching situationship break up that was. if i may be honest, jay's a pussy lmao wdym you can't be wrong and admit you're not even half as bad as u thought lol anw he's going straight into the complicated men box. sorry that was me trying to cope w the fact that all of the progress jay and mc made was just gone like that and it's all back to square one now, i can't deal w that loss rn im fr mourning over it. there's just a lot to say abt that scene it might be my all time favorite piece of fanfic i've read in my life, im losing my mind at the contrast between mc wanting to savor the moment and make it last longer while jay's trying to get it over with bc i know that he knows if he takes as much time as he'd like, he'd actually realize he loves her and that's just too much of big boy feelings for him (im bullying him too much bc im so sour rn)
also the reveal w jake dealing w addiction was eye opening, like now im rethinking back to all the times he's been fidgety and including that recent scene w mc when he comes out of the restrooms, god i was dying for the mc to just get in there and ivestigate around BUT SHE DIDN'T im so pissed. jake's definitely shown some cracks in this part and i can't wait to see him be vulnerable to mc and be honest for once, he's hiding too much and i still don't trust him i can't lie.
and i think we might be only skimming the surface w the other members, i weirdly adore sunoo lmao he's such a cryptid being, and tbh the only good thing that came out of this was sunghoon and lily being a maybe healthy couple, i love love that scene w him and lily it's such a sweet and cute moment in between all the shit mc's digging herself in lmao. i don't think i have an opinion on heeseung yet other than he obviously cares for his members, or at least the kc's reputation, and has his bearings together enough to tell the mc straight up abt all of that. also jungwon.... why do i hear boss music.... LMAO but honestly the bit where it mentioned that he got shit on everyone combined w the ending had me clawing at the walls, he's gonna be important later on and im feeling the nerves crawl up my spine even though he's never shown up once in this part, im that scared of him 😭
im terrified at what's to come, like actual dread on if riki's abt to spill everything to jay and if jay will find out and— this is too overwhelming and my mind's so cluttered lol. anw im not gonna speculate anything rn for my health but im gonna write this last paragraph in appreciation for the way you write morally gray characters, like just completely blown away by how complex and unpleasant they were written, and i mean unpleasant bc i fr know some ppl who'd act this way, it's bone chilling. granted not to the extent these characters are but it's still enough to take me back into the headspace and social circle in my younger years, just the deep regret crashing all over me again lol. not to say this was horrible no no quite the exact opposite this is the most fun and absorbed i've got from a fic in a long time, this left such an impression on me that it sneaks into the back of my mind all the time, which amplifies everytime i open this app just to scroll and i always unconsciously search ur user to see if you've updated or not.
last one i promise, thank u sm for writing this fic and all ur other fics, i know and i can tell when a writer has literacy in their heart ur up there w my forever favorites. can't wait to see it all unfolds and im hoping the mc have some sort of a good ending, fingers crossed 🥲 (sorry for this wall of text also lol)
Putting my answer under a read-more
First of all, please don't apologize for sending large asks like this. I honestly love it when people have a lot of things to say about my works. It makes me feel as though I've created something rich enough that it can be discussed.
like im so invested into this story and im just in awe of the level of literacy in the way u write and im kinda taking some notes and learning from u in a way??
Thank you so much for this...I think I can attribute this to me reading. I read almost every day, and I only read things that I enjoy.
also suddenly the few mentions of riki being 'cute and evil' compared to everyone else makes so much sense, and tbh i don't trust that he'd stay quiet abt those ss he's just gonna be bored and leak them after a while i feel like.
I sort of wanted to emphasize that anyone who would join the Karma Club would inherently be predisposed to doing horrible things for their own enjoyment. Also, as in real life, sometimes the nicest people can do horrible things. People are far more contradictory than we give them credit for. That being said, no spoilers on what he'll do with the screenshots. It's been fascinating to see the revulsion towards Riki's actions compared to what Jay has done to the MC.
if i may be honest, jay's a pussy lmao wdym you can't be wrong and admit you're not even half as bad as u thought lol anw he's going straight into the complicated men box. sorry that was me trying to cope w the fact that all of the progress jay and mc made was just gone like that and it's all back to square one now, i can't deal w that loss rn im fr mourning over it.
If it makes you feel any better, they aren't really at square one. Square one was Jay harassing her nonstop because he truly was disgusted by her, in as equal measure as he was fascinated by her. Like he said, he now doesn't even know if he hates her anymore. So even though it seems like they've gone to the beginning, this is new territory for both of them. Jay is a huge pussy, though. He calls Jake a pussy, but Jake has made more genuine attempts to get close to Y/N than him LOL
god i was dying for the mc to just get in there and ivestigate around BUT SHE DIDN'T im so pissed. jake's definitely shown some cracks in this part and i can't wait to see him be vulnerable to mc and be honest for once, he's hiding too much and i still don't trust him i can't lie.
It's good that you don't trust him. At that point, Heeseung had already told Y/N to just be nice to Jake, so she didn't want to bother him. Heeseung essentially told her that she was part of the reason why Jake relapsed, so she doesn't want to toe the line.
i don't think i have an opinion on heeseung yet other than he obviously cares for his members, or at least the kc's reputation, and has his bearings together enough to tell the mc straight up abt all of that. also jungwon.... why do i hear boss music.... LMAO but honestly the bit where it mentioned that he got shit on everyone combined w the ending had me clawing at the walls
No spoilers, but Jungwon will come into play. Something happened in the earlier part of birds of a feather that will have an effect on what happens in Part 3.
im gonna write this last paragraph in appreciation for the way you write morally gray characters, like just completely blown away by how complex and unpleasant they were written, and i mean unpleasant bc i fr know some ppl who'd act this way, it's bone chilling. granted not to the extent these characters are but it's still enough to take me back into the headspace and social circle in my younger years, just the deep regret crashing all over me again lol.
Thank you so much! And yeah, I definitely drew from my high school experience for some of this. The only other time I've ever done that is for Tired of What We Are, and I think you can see some of the parallels. Not to say that fluff is unnecessary (I do plan on writing something cute) but it's just fun to play round with people who are morally questionable, and who revel in their bad traits at times. Not so fun to experience it yourself, though.
thank u sm for writing this fic and all ur other fics, i know and i can tell when a writer has literacy in their heart ur up there w my forever favorites. can't wait to see it all unfolds and im hoping the mc have some sort of a good ending, fingers crossed
Thank you so so much. I took a long time to answer this because I wanted to keep this ask to myself. Whenever someone sends me a longer ask, I read it over and over again. I wanted to hold onto it for as long as possible. I really do love writing fics, and I'm grateful that people are willing to read them. Thank you for all of the kind words you've written, and for taking the time to read my fic!
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idk what kinds horror in a/b/o you mean, but i immediately thought about the subtle horror in this reylo fic called "Until You" by ever-so-reylo on ao3 (sorry if you dont like reylo. i dont. but i recognize reylo authors can be BEASTS and i just use cognitive dissonance if i need it) where it's like.. horror in the sense of how society limits and treats omegas and it's all very normalized. like the fic describes a marriage pathway, alarms on doors, omegas cant be present to hear the results of their own doctor appointment, how not getting pregnant is reason for annulment, and so on, and it's just so wildly subtle in how horrific itd be to live like this and i think the scariest part is, in parts of this world rn, there are places where women are treated very similarly to this. it's a one-shot and not super long, and Kylo/Ben/whoever isnt a dickbag or anything, he treats Rey well, and the author is good about making a distinction between "this is how it is here" and "that doesnt mean its good or ideal or warranted" which i think just adds to the horror kinda sorta, i dunno, i could see you having fun writing about a similar kinda world
regardless, id love to hear more about how youd wanna add further horror to a/b/o, bc what i was talking about was Handmaid's Tale-adjacent (not that i like Handmaid's Tale bc the author's a fucking terf and also, m'am, that IS how the world is like for many woc in various parts of the world, it isnt "even more horrifying" having it happen to white women too jfc idk if it counts as "apocalyptic" if its happening here and now and no one seems to care tho; but you get what i mean when i name-drop it however. anyway. i digress) and im curious if you mean in a monster-fucker way or sex pollen way or what, i find the concept of a/b/o + horror fascinating so, again, id LOVE to hear more pls ♡
firstly anon thank you for coming into my inbox and taking the time to share all this with me!! it is greatly appreciated!!
now to get into this!! i’m gonna put this under a cut w some warnings just in case!!
cw: sexism, mentions of violence against women/feminist horror, reylo (LMAO SORRY), a/b/o, uh romantic cannibalism, blood
i am so sorry anon i detest reylo lol. and sorry if anyone follows me and likes them </3
also i think this is very fascinating that i mentioned horror and your mind jumped to what is essentially feminist horror! not a bad thing—just something observed!!
i personally read a lot of horror outside of fanfiction and i read a lot of feminist horror specifically. or i see or have been apart of plays/theater works/etc. that feature feminist/gender horror in various ways. i write short stories that are not fanfic about this topic as well, so with fanfic, i tend to avoid this a great deal! it’s an incredibly heavy topic and for a whole year last year, i had surrounded myself in it (and acted in shows where stage violence was enacted on me by men, acted in roles where i was often in distress because of male characters, acted in emotionally straining and difficult scenes) and realized i was actually…very drained. and learned what i liked to see in these stories and what i thought was needless violence against women reiterated again and again as torture porn of some kind. but long story short, fanfic was a reprieve of that for me!!
(i know you’re thinking—but cielo! you seem to love yandere content! and you are right! but i think all my yan content i enjoy is seeped in a warped love rather than a gendered violence. not that both can’t exist. it’s sticky.)
more than that, i am also interested in a/b/o that breaks gender constructs and dynamics in ways and is not just an afab omega enduring societal and personal violence!
the horror i was mentioning more i think had to do with body horror, possession (as in, almost…demonic. spiritual.), etc.! romance as a horror. (“but the horror? the horror was for love”)
blood lust being tied to heats/ruts. an omega, feverish and in heat, slick with blood and wild eyed. some romantic cannibalism with the way a bite is for claiming. it’s vampiric. it’s a devouring.
it’s a conjoining. a possession. two souls being forcibly twisted together. the horror of having only one true mate that you cannot choose. that is, for better or for worse, only yours. the horror of not just being yourself anymore, but someone else and vice versa. your uncontrollable “other half”.
sublime heats/ruts where you cannot tell what is real or not, shaky snapshots of mind melting ache and pain, only relieved by one person. hallucinations or ailments that come from deeply lonely and isolated omegas and alphas. nightmares when it reaches a fever pitch.
omegas with needle sharp teeth and so much hunger that need to feed and take relentlessly from alphas. omegas and alphas with eyes that glow in the dark and watch too keenly.
rituals where heats/ruts are watched, the horror of bareness and vulnerability. the horror of being an animal in a human skin. of your own desire or pleasure.
also just the horror of being dependent on someone. of needing someone so greatly you’ll be sick with it. the horror of being powerless to their love. the horror of their power over you. or yours over them.
the twisted care. i am interested in strange/more uncommon dynamics; alphas who are nurturing and motherly in awful ways. who hand feed and coddle and smother. omegas who are possessive and violent towards other alphas or omegas.
i just think there is A LOT that could be played with. thought of. messed around with.
i also think we don’t see enough historical au with a/b/o….i’m thinking also gothic-style. western man vs. nature. cowboy a/b/o…victorian…ancient civilization….etc.
anyways, i hope you don’t take this as me like scolding you or hating on what you’ve said in any way—defs not that!! i just had a different sort of horror in mind!! like i said, fanfic for me is all about romance at its core! it’s a reprieve and escape from the work and art that often is very serious and heavy (whether feminist/gender horror, capitalist horror, etc. etc.) that i usually spend my time creating or apart of in my day to day life! it’s deeply important work to me, just not something i wanna do here really!!
#anon thank you for your thoughts!!!#i am so sorry i hate reylo a great deal </3#i just dislike kylo ren a lot sorry sorry sorry#star wars is a whole other can of worms i CANNOT open#ANYWAYS!#sorry this got rambly and long!!#i can also elaborate or answer other questions i’m not scared of a healthy back and forth#just my thoughts on it all!#cielo chats!#cielo rambles!
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Tw transphobia vent
So im pollworkkng and having a convo w this lady next to me who i told I do illustration, so she goes on this long heart warming story about how she rescued her abandoned granddaughter who loves anime and cosplays and i was like "aww i used to do anime cosplay too" and pulled up my mami tomoe cosplay pic from a decade ago
And i thought this was a pleasant connection im having with someone whos been really nice
And then she suddenly goes "she wanted to be a boy. Shes never gonna look like a boy shes too small"
And fuck. Man. Im so sick im taking my break and crying because that could be me shes talking about. I cant talk back about that because im in the closet and i dont pass either. Im so fucking upset man that literally ruined my fucking day.
I hate this shit so much jfc why cant trans people just exist without being scrutinized by cis people for not doing enough to pass.
Its so fucking horrible to know that no matter what i do its never gonna be enough to older family members who refuse to accept my gender. Im so fucking sick jfc that was like instant blood draining from my face horror movie typa moment when she shifted the convo to that.
I had to abscond thankfully someone else came back from break so i could just leave but fuck man i hate this
Not to mention how someone else took over the station i was at while i was logged in so now i dont have a position to work at im basically supervising what theyre doing bc i know more about it and catching their mistakes but its just uncomfortable and now im even more uncomfortable knowing that im working next to someone misgendering their own family in front of me just ugh
This is miserable and i want to go home. I dotn want to do this any more. They dont need me here its a slow day at the polls. Im just torturing myself for being here and it sucks. I have like 8 more hours to go and the food i brought can't be cooked because the thermos didnt stay warm lmao. Fuck my life.
#vent#personal#transphobia#Cori.exe#Post.exe#delete later / /#idk man i feel sick maybe this needs to stay up maybe ill delete idk just fuck i hate this
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you might know who this is but whatever LOL. DOIN IT!!!
i am a little bit in love and have been for what is now going on 5 years. [for context, im afab, not openly queer] i swear she drives me insane like INSANE LOL. and. shes been dating and what is now common law married to my childhood sweetheart's oldest brother for 10+ years.
messy. ik. im not pursuing her. ive even avoided seeing her for 2 years. my breaking point? one too many times she's held my hand at a picturesque location, looking deeply into my eyes, telling me how much and exactly why she loves me (which, is alarming already on its own!) only to end it with "youre like....a cousin to me!" KILL ME.
she is so intense and notices and thinks about everything. EVERYTHING. fascinating, smart and sharp af. she embodies and looks like wind idek how to explain it. poised, cautious, steadily powerful. she knows who she is and what she wants. but getting a straight answer out of her is something else. she speaks like poetry. sometimes i love her for it, sometimes the lack of specificity makes me insane.
this summer was the first time i saw her after my absence to get over her, she was wearing this flowy linen white outfit, gold bands in her locs, delicate gold necklace and rings. i wanted to fall to my KNEES.
while catching up on the last two years, i told her i was queer. she told me she was too. and then she went on to tell me how her relationship (with the man who is my family friend) is going "well" aka falling apart. i asked my careful questions and got careful answers. then she says shes spending months in europe this spring. partner is not interested... n that i should come visit her while there. cant fucking breathe atp. i say maybe.
anyways. ive seen her once since then and had to put more distance between us bc she invited me over to bake apple pies. i like her too much and the fact that their 10+ year relationship is slowly falling apart is NOT GOOD for me to know about.
ANYWAY. MESSY!
oh man oh man. anon (i do know who this is hehe, but still!!! your name is anon rn), my sweet darling baby, i want to tuck you into bed so you can get some rest after this torture you've been enduring!!!!! this whole situation sounds like a real mindfuck. not the europe invitation 💀 jfc. i wish i had some good advice or a clear cut thing to say, but all i can do is wish you strength and send you as much care and love as possible. there are so many ways that all of this will end up in a lot of hurt. but also love!!! love for or from your friend, for or from your friend's partner, for or from yourself. you just gotta find a balance that you're okay with.
"she speaks like poetry" aaahh. good fucking luck out there, soldier. careful answers and speaking like poetry sounds endlessly frustrating to me. there's something beautiful about directness imo. but we all fall in love with different things. that's the beauty of life, right? everyone loves something different, so everyone different can be loved.
feel free to send updates if you ever want to get things off your chest. in my asks or as a dm. 🧡
anonymously tell me about your crush!!!
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uncle nina be honest: is ravenstans type just tall white men?
EYE--
tHE SOUND I JUST MADELHSKDDSLKDHS this is so FUCKING FUNNY HELLLLLLLP PLEASE....jail FOREVER!!! LIFE!!!!!EVER!!!!!
also....yes it is...ye...s it is...thats soo...
...my hand is over my EYES, anon.
WOW!!!!!
WOOOOooOOOOOoooOOOOw!!!!!!
I'm Embarrassed! i just Know his mexican ancestors are Rolling like sharon...i'm so sorry, baby, i'm So glad you don't have to see this...
but okaokok...LIS!TEN....li sten...
so bc i want to Laugh ( im already laughing )...i feel like when they're dating he's on tiktok live drinking some jersey box wine while kyle cooks dinner nbd Just Sbboyfriend Things also wheeeew!!! house husband kyle my beloved <33 hes so FIONE and CAYOOT :'))) I Love U Baby...ur going to heaven... STAN tho??? HELL IS HOT!!! BOILING!!!
because people keep spamming him w/ a filter to do and hes kinda tipsy and mostly down bc hes bored...but it's the fkn Rank Your White Boy Of The Month From One To Ten filter & hes like gUYS I CANNOT DO THAT I WILL GET IN tRoUbLe STOP IT...but like looks over his shoulder and kyle is listening to music hes like not paying attention so reallyquietly hes like...okay...just Real quickLKHDSHDKSHD >.>
LIKE YOU ARE LITERALLY GOING TO JAIL!!!! HE HAS A PROBLEM!! THE CHOKEHOLD THAT TALL WHITE MEN HAVE OVER RAVEN LIKE THAT NEEDS TO BE STUDIED IN A LAB!!!! ITS THAT SERIOUS!
buuut i bet you in this auniverse kyle is probably On that filter so ravenstan is like you yknow what friends....its fine. we will just leave that top spot open just in case...Itll Be Fine...shhhhshsh ( smh......jfc )
and you know what it IS fine At First because like ew matty healy??? glen powell... like...truly low tier BUT THEN IS LIKE WHAT A MINUTE WHY IS ADAM DRIVER KINDA...HIS NOSE...WOW WAIT IS THAT THE GUY FROM EUPHORIA HOLD ON HES SO TALL WAIT A DAMN SJDHDSHDSD like its just...hes sWeAtiNg like this is WHACK GUYS hell is So hot! why would u send me this!!?...also...4...Obviously. SHKS
LIKE?S?DDSLJDJ:JDSS GO TO CHURCH!!! REPEEENT HARLOT!!!!
all while jerseykyle is Making Him Pasta!!! like what happened to got a white boy on my rosta he be feeding pasta and lobster!!!! HUH???? the BETRAYAL!!!! WOWWWW!!! s!m!H!
cue ravenstan like -looks over shoulder biting nails- u guys Cannot tell kyle about this like bEST FRIEND YOU ARE ON TIKTOK!!! LIVE!!!!
but yknow...he left that one and ten spot open...and its almost done theyre basically free...the thing is rolling and he squints like who is that...nOOOOO SHUT UP IS THAT SPENCER REID??? I HAD A FAT CRUSH ON IN CRIMINAL MINDS WAIT BUT LIKE WE CANT PUT HIM AT TEN LIKE THATS JUST...I CANT...LIKE WHAT ARE THE ODDS WERE GOING TO GET KYLE THATS NOT--ITS FINE!! *sweats*
and puts mgg at One and its rolling one last time and hes like itsfineitsfineitsfine EverythingIsFine!! aND thEN GETS KYLE AND IS LIKE.....OOoOoOF PLEEEASE PLZ SAY SIKE and house husband jerseykyle rolls up BEHIND HIM!!!!! like all concerned hand on hip in the star of david apron ( pls kiss me wow kyle im so sorry bestie ) like babe i am trying to fkn cook dinner why is my TickTack blowing up?? im trying to listen to ABBA like what the fuck is so important that dancing queen is being interrupted rn and also??? why are people telling me to fight the tall nerdy guy from that one CIA show???
and ravenstans like DOOONT WORRY ABOUT IT MY LOVE LMAO DONT WORRY ABT IT!! ALSO THEYRE NOT CIA THEYRE FBI AND HIS NAME IS SPENCER REI and then kyle looks and is like oH OKAY YOU WOULD KNOW ABOUT THAT HUH STAN WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WHO THE FUCK IS THIS WHY ARE YOU RANKING WHITE MEN ON THE INTERNET!!!!! HELLO!!!!.....and everyones like oh my gopd i cant believe my otp is breaking up on camera like....im laughing....Im...
anyways...stan permanently lives in tall white man jail. Life Sentence.
-uncle nina, breaking my silence to post This of all things
#this was so funny i started crying#i have no idea what compelled me to answer this or answer it in this unhinged manner but i saw the filter on tiktok and i was like ohhhh my#anyways...hell is hot....tall fashionable white man...probably prominent nose...kinda mean...literally jail#ravenstans ancestors doing backflips#i would blame sharon but sharon did the same thing this is so... its a generational curse...i cant believe it...#this seriously was so funny to me like i could be answering important plot questions but this was too real#ALSO LISTEN SPECIFICALLY SPENCER REID ITS NOT JUST MGG LIKE ITS SPECIFICALLY SPENCER REID FROM CRIMINAL MINDS#WHICH I GET IT BESTIE BUT ALSO YOURE GOING TO JAIL#but that tracks for him like thats reallly...KYLE WAS LIKE WOW CORRECTING HIS NAME AND EVERYTHING IS THAT UR BOYFRIEND ??!! HMMM??? SLKHDLK#screaming crying throwing up like Babe Please!!! IM SORRY!!! CAN WE tALK ABOUT THIS IM SORRY U KNOW UR#ONE IN MY HEART MI CORAZOOOON ;-;;;#where is the white boy rehab and how do i get stan there#in the TRENCHES also u know what his abuelo was also in white gay boy hell during ww2 like some1 needs to STUDY THIS#STAN LIKE PLS UR MY FAVOEITE WHITE BOY DONT DO THIS PLEASE ITS PASTA NIGHT#WERE CELEBRATING UR CULTURE PLEASE THE SONG OF UR PEOPLE IS PLAYING#like soy chicken alfredo and abba is the white experience and stan b experiencing it#he livelaughluvs white boys#unfortunately same i love jacob elordi so bad#Jail#edit: please know jeremy allen white was also high spec in the bear when he was yelling at everyone
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((A headcanon for Mukuro and Alucard/Arikado/Whatever the fuck his name is right now if you're still accepting them. Whenever he cooks dinner, he is very territorial of the kitchen. Mukuro occasionally pops her head in to check in on him only to be met with a stare that says "have some fuckin patience jfc u cant rush perfection" bc he cant catch a break
@memoriamexarca
— oh my god yes!!! she just pops in with a ‘how’s it goin’ champ?’ and just has to narrowly dodge whatever is thrown at her lmao or just gets that stare and she’s just :3c ‘hehe i’ll leave you to iiiiit~’ but then comes back after about 10 minutes or so
【 a headcanon of our muses' relationship 】 ♡ 【 always accepting 】
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Almost 2 hours late to the live react shitpost party bc I was dying my hair while watching it when it started but anyways
Under the cut bc it both contains spoilers for the m9 reunion p2 and also because it’s really fucking long lmao
They’re kicking these guys asses holy shit
wtf is going on with Kingsley btw like pardon?????
See my question is if Ukotoa is in the process of being released while they’re fighting or if he’s still locked away rn bc like
If he’s not in the process of being released waIT
NVM HE’S OUT
IN THE TEMPLE???
Oh god creepy snakes moving in tandem i love snakes but not like this
Run boy run byeeee
NO
NOONONONO
YEAH NO SHIT THATS NOT RIGHT???
fshshshsh the giant just knocked over in the center of the set is so funny to me
fr hes just
there
Oh wait worm???
Not Ukoatoa??
Caleb my god you are a noodly wizard why would you try to intimidate a betrayer god
LMAO A 17???
“That’s me” jester my beloved
Cmon cmon NO
eight whyyy
Uh ohhhh
HAHAHAHA WARLOCK PACT
Which one which one
Is he just flexing w that ring of telepathy or did that have a purpose
Oh Jester <3
KINGSLEY???
“You just got this body” LMAO
First an accidental pact with an ancient evil sea deity then a pledge to essentially mother nature and now a betrayer god woooooh
Creepy
Wait this guy hates Melora does that mean Fjord can’t connect with her anymore?
LMAO the face
Oh not another cursed sword
i think its a cursed sword
maybe
Them putting up his stat card has me concerned uh oh
LMAO “thanks I hate it”
Ooooh a rapier fancy
its official I love Kingsley
AUGH GOOD BANTER
THE SNAKES
“Martial our forces” HMMM??
Darktow who is in darktow hold up
OHHH RIGHT plank king
Cant go back there
Fantasy DMs jfeoghehgaio;ewhaoge
syphilis gang
DAMN that was one efficient sending
You can just hear the agony in his voice ijodfsihjogiho
If anyone’s a glorified librarian its caleb idk what you mean beau
Charcuterie board
Mamas house has more tiddies followed by “That’s a good point” is fueling me
Winds in the east
mist comin in
something is brewin
about to begin
“I know all languages” jfc how many do you know now????
Im still wondering about that monkey yall what was that about
my original thought was that it was Artagan but it was so antagonistic idk
“We were probably a huge pain in your ass like a year ago” yeah sounds about accurate to what I know
I like her too jester she’s fun
risk esseks life cmon cmon cmon I NEED TO HEAR HIS VOICE AAUUUAUUGH
HES LEAVING PLS BE CONTACTING
damn wrong elf
fshshshsh hermit elf
WOW thats a lot of potions
break to wash out hair dye hold up
before i leave
haha charcuterie board
ok now brb
Okay hair’s done back to reacting
“Okay so you don’t blow yourself up” mood
Wtf is that rod??? Bc we all know he probably wouldve made it amber if he could
Fuckin dope move though omg
EIGHTY ONE????
GOD DAMN
OOOH OH I KNOW WHERE THIS GOES
GET HIS EYESSSSSSS
dainty sip of sherry in the midle of abttle from a flask i love it
holy noises followed by the camera panning to a glowing silouette of a dick on the floor
THREE DRAGONS?????
i mean ik two are illusions but DAMN
Dude I’m not sure Kingsley’s had one bad move this entire two-shot like wtf
soooo AC is 21? I think?
wait do different parts have different ACs?
HAHAHA YES EYEBALL WEAKNESS
Stab the eye, stab the eye, stab the eye, stab the e-
Gently give a slice to an eyeball muah
so eyeball AC is 27> (or equal to 27)
There has been an assault, far as i can tell sam is being a shit again
New tatoo?? Chainbreaker
Fancy
Ohoho oh nvm rip yasha’s dope ass thunderclap
won wound
Ooooh the big bad demigod can be frightened damn
DUNAMANCYYYYY
aw damn rip spell
new form who dis
Half of this live react is just me repeating one liners i found particularly funny oops
Oh nvm?? Dunamancy spell lives????
Nvm
Well ok its alive just half damage
Boy Veth I would love to see you try
“I can dodge gravity” can you????
HOLY FUCKING SHIT CHARACTER GROWTH INDEED
THAT WAS SO FUCKING COOL
Rip Beau taken out of the game bc piss
OKAY RIP BEAU FR???
FUCKING LEGENDARY HDYWTDT
GET FLUFFERNUTTERED BITCH
RIP FJORD SENT OFF INTO SPACE MY GOD
OH
OHOHOHOHOH
CMON CMON CMON SEAL HIM AWAY DO IT DO IT
OooUuUhfhdbdjfe I love the lighting change for going under water
Cmon pls pls pls work seal that bitch away
WHAT
OHOHO
FUCK YEAH MATE
Uh oh my boys gonna get the bends good call w the far step tbh
Actually bad call that’s too fast a pressure difference
Ayo Travis w the accurate bends rep
Ugh I love Caleb’s level 17 art sm
Well damn Melora!!!! Queen shit tbh
I hope “keep that just for me” means he swallowed it again
LMFAO MATTS FACE
Dicks and Other Things
The Molly Look™️
Promptly steal I love him
DAMN Kingsley’s on some king shit
Literally
ORPHAN TAKER IM SOBBING
WAUUAUAUGHFHFB CMON CMON
HIS BOICE I GOT TO HEAR HIS VOICE SJRJQIFUJEHE
THEY GOT THEIR SHIT TOGETHER SO QUICK????? SIX MONTHS??????????
CRYING SOBBING LOSING MY MIND
That was so fucking good oh my god
stimmed so hard at the end that my limbs started to actually cramp lmao
#my posts#critical role#critical role spoilers#I’m so glad i got to watch this live im so happy#ill be going back to rewatch that epilogue as soon as it’s up on youtube what an ending
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vera's first watch of south park -- season four (part 2)
jfc i want 2 unalive... slowly
EPISODE 6:
THESE THE BOYS ARE SO FERAL BYE messing w the sub with switching names
NO KYLE IS SICK :’((((( MY POOR BOY
NOT BUTTERS
HE’S SUCH A CUTE CARD I LOVE BUTTERS SM
miss information…. bffr
garrison writing a SMUT FIC BYE MDFNVIFDMIMMVS
miss information BYE STAN IS TRYING 2 HELP
there’s only so much natural herbs can do :’(
“KYLE’S MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD” SO TRUE SO TRUE CRYINGGGGG
“I’LL GIVE HIM MY KIDNEY I’LL DO IT” stan would die for kyle and that’s on god babe
not cartman being the only person in south park that matches kyle SMH
kenny and cartman being actual kids
ofc cartman won’t give it up
“how much is ur life worth to u, kyle” cartman u fucking JACKASS
if kyle dies i’m gonna be pissed
stan worried abt kyle :’((((((
kenny >:( rightfully so
garrison just come out as gay babe it’s not that hard
clyde and tacos >>>> kyle’s life
this is so fucked ew
oh stan is serious he’s gonna get his kidney
i forgot abt cartmans pig
cartman is so smart okay that kinda slayed
stan DON’T CRY
“nobody cares if i die” KENNY THAT WAS OUTTA POCKET BUT ALSO SO TRUE MY SON
“I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS BULLSHIT. SCREW U GUYS I’M GOING HOME.” PIANO FALLS ON HIM :’(
very cartman of u kenny
OH THEY KILLING HER OOF
wait how is cartman not dead ?!?!?!/! his whole ass kidney was cut off by an eight year old
oh they defo put his kidney into kyle’s bod but faked it for cartman
epic
EPISODE 7
Chef winning U GET THEM KING.
Ending racists PERIOD
who TF is this teacher
Cartman winning debates ??? Weird
Oh LMAO THE CLASS AGREES HES A RAT
MY FUCKING FAVE KIDS ON TEAM CHEF !!! WENDY, BEBE, CLYDE AND BUTTERS. ICONS
Stan obvs on his uncles side but BIG BOO
WENDY GET THEM BABY
WENDY TELL UR MAN HES AN IDIOT
STYLE VS WENDY AND CARTMAN ??? oh this abt to be good
cartman tho… fat boo
Chef schooling the kiddies (style respectfully)
WENDY PROTECTING STYLE SO REAL
THUMBS DOWN CARTMAN BOOOOOOOO
NOT THE KKK 💀💀💀💀
THE MAYOR RLY DIDNT DO SHIT
oh crap leaving it up to the kids WHACK
Wendy and cartman in the same frame is just giving me the ICK
NO WENDY DONT LAUGH ALL CUTELY AT HIM EW
no bc cartman and Wendy together makes me physically I’ll wtf
KENNY EATING THE MINTS “FUCK YOU” so real
“I don’t think we stand a chance in this debate bc Wendy’s leading the other side”
“Dude, ur just saying that bc she’s your gf” TRUE AND REAL
Kyle so real for that omg
OH SHIT KENNY
NOOOO HE EXPLODED NO CRYING
not Wendy & Cartman again LORD ARE U TRYING TO TEST ME
I WANNA OFF MYSELF WHY IS TREY AND MATT GIVING WENDY AND CARTMAN AN ENEMIES TO LOVERS ARC HES EVERYTHING SHE HATES AND VICE VERSA
STAN PLS COME COLLECT UR GF IM GONNA THROW UP MY DINNER
NOT THE HAND TOUCH IM UNALIVING I CANT
I FUCKING HATE IT HERE NOT WENDY FANTASIZING CARTMAN
I WANNA SKIP IT SO BAD BUT I NEED TO HAVE AN HONEST FULL REACTION
NOT THE ROLL DOWN THE HILL
WENDY WOKE UP IT WAS A DREAM THE LORD SAVED ME FROM THIS HELL
Wendy me too bc what the fuck
Dunks head in water me too
Wendy seeing cartman everywhere and haunting her NOOOOOO
Wendy “please don’t let this be happening” I WISH IT WASNT BABY GIRL
This KKK stuff is weird
“BEBE IM ATTRACTED TO CARTMAN” Bebe IMMEDIATELY SCREAMS THATS MY DAUGHTER SHES THE MOOD
no but Bebe is me rn
BEBE NO DONT TELL HER TO KISS HIM ?!1?1!1) THE FUCK ARE U DOING
Wendy PLEASE DOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT
I DONT NEED THAT IN MY BRAIN
PLEASE IM BEGGING
WHAT WOULD STAN THINK ??!?!? WENDY ARE U DELULU
STANS LOOK OF CONCERN AS HE LOOKS AT WENDY STUTTERING AND PANICKING
NO WENDY ARE U FUCKING FOR REAL NOOOOOO
STANS FACE NO IM BREAKING IM DESTROYED IM IN SHAMBLES HIS SAD FACE NO STAN IM SOBBINGGGGGG
cartman feeling so smug abt Stan’s girl kissing him I know stan is gonna go HAM ON HIS ASS
Stan still upset NO I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT
CARTMAN IS ADDING FUEL TO THE FIRE TEASING STAN OH STOP IT
STAN IS STILL SHOCKED
STILL.
S T I L L
S T I L L
S T I L L
IM SOBBING AT STAN 😭😭
CARTMAN HAS FEELS FOR WENDY OH FUCK
defo my least fave episode out of all seasons so far
#faves: south park#viv watches#NO BECAUSE THE HATE I HAVE FOR THAT FUCKING CARTMAN AND WENDY SHIT MAD ME WANNA THROW UP#i’m also sad abt stan he did NOT DESERVE THAT.#but w the other ep here i felt kenny yelling at stan in my bones he was so real for that
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why do bad people get good things
my ex is currently in japan with the military (obviously not to fight anyone just because the us simply can not fathom minding their own fucking business) why. its not fair. fuck him. im at home all mangled up from cancer. the cancer of which he broke up with me when i started treatment. so infuriating. why is my ex “friend” (horrible fucking friend, no one let me near her again because im tired of her shit) living a great life in college with friends and probably free money from mommy. god damn. why does my mother refuse to take me anywhere. like do i have to go break down in front of a therapist to get her to realize this is the exact opposite life i would have wanted to live when i turned 18. i wanted to travel. and when i say that people think i mean driving and flying far, and spending tons of money. or they think when i say i wanna “go somewhere” that i want to go to walmart. jfc. it doesnt have to cost money. it could literally be driving an hour away to see something cool. no. we cant do that. because its expensive. when i want to go somewhere after my traumatizing hospital visits, there is no excuse to not drive through the city to take me somewhere. hell we dont even have to get out of the car. let me fantasize about moving away. but no. we cant kill two birds with one stone because “we have to bring my siblings” how hard is it to fucking understand that i want to be alone like everyone else. i want to be treated as closely as i could be to an actual 19 year old person. fuck.
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