uncle nina be honest: is ravenstans type just tall white men?

EYE--

tHE SOUND I JUST MADELHSKDDSLKDHS this is so FUCKING FUNNY HELLLLLLLP PLEASE....jail FOREVER!!! LIFE!!!!!EVER!!!!!

also....yes it is...ye...s it is...thats soo...

...my hand is over my EYES, anon.

WOW!!!!!

WOOOOooOOOOOoooOOOOw!!!!!!

I'm Embarrassed! i just Know his mexican ancestors are Rolling like sharon...i'm so sorry, baby, i'm So glad you don't have to see this...

but okaokok...LIS!TEN....li sten...

so bc i want to Laugh ( im already laughing )...i feel like when they're dating he's on tiktok live drinking some jersey box wine while kyle cooks dinner nbd Just Sbboyfriend Things also wheeeew!!! house husband kyle my beloved <33 hes so FIONE and CAYOOT :'))) I Love U Baby...ur going to heaven... STAN tho??? HELL IS HOT!!! BOILING!!!

because people keep spamming him w/ a filter to do and hes kinda tipsy and mostly down bc hes bored...but it's the fkn Rank Your White Boy Of The Month From One To Ten filter & hes like gUYS I CANNOT DO THAT I WILL GET IN tRoUbLe STOP IT...but like looks over his shoulder and kyle is listening to music hes like not paying attention so reallyquietly hes like...okay...just Real quickLKHDSHDKSHD >.>

LIKE YOU ARE LITERALLY GOING TO JAIL!!!! HE HAS A PROBLEM!! THE CHOKEHOLD THAT TALL WHITE MEN HAVE OVER RAVEN LIKE THAT NEEDS TO BE STUDIED IN A LAB!!!! ITS THAT SERIOUS!

buuut i bet you in this auniverse kyle is probably On that filter so ravenstan is like you yknow what friends....its fine. we will just leave that top spot open just in case...Itll Be Fine...shhhhshsh ( smh......jfc )

and you know what it IS fine At First because like ew matty healy??? glen powell... like...truly low tier BUT THEN IS LIKE WHAT A MINUTE WHY IS ADAM DRIVER KINDA...HIS NOSE...WOW WAIT IS THAT THE GUY FROM EUPHORIA HOLD ON HES SO TALL WAIT A DAMN SJDHDSHDSD like its just...hes sWeAtiNg like this is WHACK GUYS hell is So hot! why would u send me this!!?...also...4...Obviously. SHKS

LIKE?S?DDSLJDJ:JDSS GO TO CHURCH!!! REPEEENT HARLOT!!!!

all while jerseykyle is Making Him Pasta!!! like what happened to got a white boy on my rosta he be feeding pasta and lobster!!!! HUH???? the BETRAYAL!!!! WOWWWW!!! s!m!H!

cue ravenstan like -looks over shoulder biting nails- u guys Cannot tell kyle about this like bEST FRIEND YOU ARE ON TIKTOK!!! LIVE!!!!

but yknow...he left that one and ten spot open...and its almost done theyre basically free...the thing is rolling and he squints like who is that...nOOOOO SHUT UP IS THAT SPENCER REID??? I HAD A FAT CRUSH ON IN CRIMINAL MINDS WAIT BUT LIKE WE CANT PUT HIM AT TEN LIKE THATS JUST...I CANT...LIKE WHAT ARE THE ODDS WERE GOING TO GET KYLE THATS NOT--ITS FINE!! *sweats*

and puts mgg at One and its rolling one last time and hes like itsfineitsfineitsfine EverythingIsFine!! aND thEN GETS KYLE AND IS LIKE.....OOoOoOF PLEEEASE PLZ SAY SIKE and house husband jerseykyle rolls up BEHIND HIM!!!!! like all concerned hand on hip in the star of david apron ( pls kiss me wow kyle im so sorry bestie ) like babe i am trying to fkn cook dinner why is my TickTack blowing up?? im trying to listen to ABBA like what the fuck is so important that dancing queen is being interrupted rn and also??? why are people telling me to fight the tall nerdy guy from that one CIA show???

and ravenstans like DOOONT WORRY ABOUT IT MY LOVE LMAO DONT WORRY ABT IT!! ALSO THEYRE NOT CIA THEYRE FBI AND HIS NAME IS SPENCER REI and then kyle looks and is like oH OKAY YOU WOULD KNOW ABOUT THAT HUH STAN WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WHO THE FUCK IS THIS WHY ARE YOU RANKING WHITE MEN ON THE INTERNET!!!!! HELLO!!!!.....and everyones like oh my gopd i cant believe my otp is breaking up on camera like....im laughing....Im...

anyways...stan permanently lives in tall white man jail. Life Sentence.

-uncle nina, breaking my silence to post This of all things

in this post, i would like to present my thesis on why the song metaphor by the crane wives belongs to goro akechi.

"i've gotten good at leaning on metaphors": goro's speech as the detective prince is very flowery, exaggerated, and calculated, in order to please the crowds of people with their eyes trained on him at all times. public appearances, television shows, and interviews are all very important for his image, and as such he's forced to adapt his speech and choose his wording carefully to appease those watching. robbie daymond especially does a very good job of vocally pushing the line of politeness into a tone that sounds just a bit too sugary to be genuine, but not something u would notice unless u were listening closely.

"i've gotten good at living on someone else's page": much like the first line, this one can also refer to goro's public image. because he's put an immense amount of work into his life as the detective prince, he aims to please. or at least, he needs to act as though he does. in order to keep up appearances, he needs to be able to get a read of those around him and keep himself on the same wavelength as them. this also applies to shido—not only does goro need to please his fans, but shido as well, in order to stay one step ahead of him. goro is purposefully putting himself on eggshells every day of his life, and in order to keep that up as well as keep himself safe, this is what he has to practice.

"i cut my teeth on secondhand sentiments": goro is often forced to follow a script, or at least an embellished, public-friendly version of his own thoughts. the things that he says when acting as the detective prince are rarely ever his own thoughts as they would be presented in normal conversation. goro has to hide his true opinion of the phantom thieves behind crowd pleasing buzzwords, keep up appearances by catering his opinions, and even quotes philosophers and other literature ("to paraphrase hegel"). the things that he says as detective prince goro akechi are rarely ever entirely his own, and he's gotten very good at tailoring his speech.

"you can't trust a single thing i say": this one, i think, is fairly self-explanatory. the "you" doesn't just apply to the phantom thieves, but to those goro works with as well. what is it he says to sae; "to trick your enemies, you must first trick your allies"? he uses deception to get what he wants, but his primary motivation for it is to move his plan forward, and to protect himself. obviously, if he were honest with shido, he would've been killed on the spot. goro's proficiency with lies isn't just a tool he uses, but a defense mechanism as well. bc of his fear of and difficulty grasping the concept of opening up to someone, through that skill, he is able to keep himself closed off and in control (that is, until he meets akira).

"i keep my closet free of skeletons": this one strikes me as irony, personally. goro's closet is so full of skeletons that it's practically bursting at the seams. but as the detective prince, something like that just isn't allowed. he needs to play the part, otherwise he pays the price. as himself, as goro akechi, he's got so many skeletons in his closet that he probably can't open the door anymore. but as the detective prince, he has to uphold an air of perfection that seems unattainable to others. goro as the detective prince is the epitome of the culture behind the idolization of celebrities, and the way others place and expect them on pedestals of something near godhood, far above the rest of the world.

"cause i'm much better at digging graves": well, goro akechi is certainly no stranger to the art of killing someone without a trace. we have no idea how many shutdowns or breakdowns he induced over the course of his professional relationship with shido. but i also think this lyric in tandem with the one right before it could relate to goro's tendencies towards repression; the idea that he cannot and should not have any "demons" or "skeletons"—such as past traumas, meaningful relationships, or feelings that he's jammed down and shut the closet doors on, if u will—bc since vengeance is his only objective, then digging graves is his primary task, or the only thing he's good for, in his mind. the word skeletons doesn't have to represent mistakes specifically, but could also refer to how goro views his own heart and how he deals with his emotions. something like, he feels he shouldn't deal with all that turbulence, bc he's far better at warping it into anger—something that he's used to dealing with, and can easily rationalize. the more complicated emotions, not so much.

"but i always dig up bones in your sympathy": this is where i start connecting things to goro and akira specifically. another definition of sympathy entails two people who share an understanding of each other. doesn't that sound like goro and akira to u? so, if u take these lyrics to be from goro to akira, it feels to me like this one could represent his regrets/desire to leave his situation. according to rank seven of his confidant in royal, we know that goro is practically screaming for help before the events of sae's palace. unfortunately, as the player, we are not able to save him. but i think this lyric could represent his desire to connect with akira despite his better judgement—"dig up bones," as in; i'll still arrive at the decision to bury them in the first place, but bc we have an understanding, i'll show u as well as i can that i do not want to be doing this. and that's exactly how rank seven with goro plays out, through the metaphor of a billiards game.

"i can't trust a single thing you say": this could refer to the fact that both goro and akira are withholding truths from each other throughout their relationship, and since they are of equal standing, the same deception that applies to goro would apply to akira as well, albiet in a far different way. however, i can also see it as an unwillingness on goro's part; he feels as though he cannot trust akira not bc akira is truly lying to him, but bc there's no other way for him to rationalize the fact that akira cares for him and wants to spend time with him. as goro akechi, not the detective prince. goro can't trust the kindness akira extends to him not only bc he's used to conditional love (shido, foster parents, etc.), but also bc he doesn't feel as though he deserves it. goro does not have a very high image of himself, as we see later on, and it's easy to see throughout his confidant that he cannot quite understand why someone would want to spend time with him, and not the perfectly crafted version of him that he presents to everyone else.

"don't look too hard, cause you won't like the scars he left in me": the "he" here refers to shido. shido is the sole reason for all of goro's trauma and hardships. he has scarred goro more than anyone else in his life. and goro's sharing of these traumas is very limited: he opens up seemingly out of nowhere, before immediately retreating under the guise of things like "oh, that isn't like me," or "oh, am i bothering u?" such as the scenes that take place in leblanc and the bathhouse. goro cannot fathom the fact that someone (akira) would wish to get to know him, as he is, so he assumes that a normal interaction between friends is somehow too much transparency, and keeps himself at a distance. he mistakes his feelings for akira as hatred, right? obviously, that's entirely the wrong word to describe them. but if goro himself believes that he hates akira, he would likely believe akira to hate him as well; as evidenced by the fact that the dialogue options which give u the most points are the ones where u mention ur "rivalry"—bc again, goro cannot rationalize his emotions as anything other than negative; anger, hatred, etc. it's far easier for goro to blurt out the words "i hate u" rather than "i love u," or "i care for u," isn't it? and this is how he keeps himself at enough of a distance, although simultaneously feels himself drawing closer. emotional closeness is not something goro is well versed in, and bc goro has built his image on being talented and skilled, he refuses to reveal his shortcomings.

"i've gotten good at making up metaphors": the words here are only slightly different than the ones at the beginning, which i think works for goro's further descent into his deal with shido, and subsequent difficulty. instead of "leaning" on metaphors, he's completely making them up. it's more drastic, which could represent a sort of desperation. almost as if he's losing his touch—which we do see after the events of sae's palace, during the tv interview where he monologues internally about his backstory, and we start to really see how damaged he is. goro is frazzled and distraught, enough for it to visibly show, something he prided himself on being able to avoid.

"i've gotten good at stretching the truth out of shape": again, the same situation as before. similar to the beginning, with slightly harsher wording. the lies that goro is immersing himself in are getting more intense, and almost impossible to separate from. his "murder" of akira is a turning point, in a way; akira is the first and only character we see goro kill in what he believes to be outside of the metaverse. he's not only stretching the truth out of shape, but he himself is bent out of shape as well—this stuck out to me on my ng+ run; his sprites in the scene just after akira is reported to be dead from him to shido are very unsettling and absent, as if he's almost completely zoning out. it's a very jarring scene to watch, and i think at least part of that has to be due to the severity of his actions.

"and all these words are sweet and meaningless": this feels to me, if we're going by the timeline i've been suggesting throughout all this, like it's directed at shido. now that akira is dead and the phantom thieves are no longer a threat to goro's plan for revenge, he can focus his energy back on his original objective. goro lays it on incredibly thick in his scenes with shido, so much so that it sometime surprises me that he didn't realize shido was onto him. again with the more intense wording here, which fits with the events i'm corresponding it with.

"you can't trust a single thing i say": now this wording is exactly the same as the first time, but given the progression of everything i've talked about, i take this as a sort of last word to both shido and akira. goro intends to follow through with his vengeance no matter the cost, and this could read as a final nail in that coffin. the song repeats this lyric four times, as well. if i wanted to keep it up all the way up to the engine room scene, and go completely off the rails in the process, i could say that the first iteration of this line is an affirmation to both shido and akira that his revenge takes precedence, therefore it would be stupid to trust him. the second is an affirmation to himself that he is in fact doing the right thing, and everything will pay off in the end, that this is just the way things are supposed to be, as always. the third is a kind of plea, born from confusion, after he's defeated by the theives and they offer to bring him with them to take down shido, an offer he cannot fathom the reason for extending. a sort of "why would u trust me" in the form of "u shouldn't trust me." and the fourth would refer directly to goro speaking to his cognitive self; as he decieves the deciever, making it seem as though he is running back to shido only to close the bulkhead door and resign himself to his "noble" sacrifice.

i hope at least some of this makes any semblance of sense. put this song on ur goro playlists, goroboys.