#cant everyone else do it for me for the love of fuck
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update:
(if this cuts off suddenly, its cause my mom walked in. better to give yall something than nothing) some of this information wont be relevant to everyone but im tagging my irl friend that needs it for reasons ill explain below
if you are poet, read all of this please its very important. anyone else feel free to skip its pretty distressing lol.
reblog if you can so the other moots see this. (also so they can find this account, only 19 of yall have found it and should be over a hundred)
tw for parental abuse and self harm
we're still lying low. i cant afford to get caught on tumblr rn
love yall so much, im glad so many people have found this blog
my mom is fucking pissed. ive lost my phone completely, and i might be losing the ipad too. im hoping that because i use the ipad for school she wont take that. my computer is safe for now, she doesnt know the password and knows that people would ask questions if she took it
my texts have been comprimised. im not allowed to text anymore, and shes reading everything. already got texting from my ipad once, fortunatly i dont think that she knows it was from my ipad so she hasnt taken it (yet)
poet we need to figure out a way to comunicate from my computer that isnt tumblr.
my mental state is stable-ish currently, but it wasnt 2 hours ago.
she has threatened physical abuse.
she has also said "I wish i had the luxury of kicking you out"
due to number 8, im working on a go bag.
number 9 is probably an over reaction but im not getting caught unawares
the only sh ive done so far is head banging, which is bad but not the worst form. i think i left a bruise tho. no signs of brain damage
i got my grades back and theyre all pretty high, so im not in trouble for that. but i think she is pissed that im doing my work in school and not at home? idfk
she promised thursday to put me back in therapy. she has taken that back
apparently the reason she thinks im not disabled is because she thinks im faking all these injurys. her reasoning for this is "last time we saw [dr name] he said that nothing was wrong" (he said that there was nothing wrong other than the previously diagnosed severe generalized hypermobility syndrome) i think its fucking hysterical that she thinks i would fake not being able to do fucking anything because of my pain
i did absoluletly have a full full full mental breakdown from about 10:30 this morning to about 3:45 in the afternoon
if i get anymore "injuries out of nowhere" shes gonna cancel all my summer plans. (translation: no medical care for the rest of the year)
@poettheythem
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why doesnt wally just cut sallys arms off while she sleeps?
hey now c'mahn she's just a lil guy
Wally would never and i wouldn't make him. Nightlight!Sally protection squad - assemble!
#lights out wally would rather get torn apart than raise a hand to sally#there's a Reason he either hides from her or tries to calm her down instead of taking Drastic Measures#she's his beloved neighbor... he wouldnt hurt his neighbor thats so Un-Neighborly#and he wouldn't let anyone else do it either#he loves his friends so so much why would he hurt them... even if they dont feel actual pain its still a No for him#rambles from the bog#wh lights out au#like... wally doesnt really understand why itd be Wrong to do it#but he understands that its unpleasant to be 'hurt' and also he doesnt like seeing his neighbors Damaged yk yk#the Arm™️ is a tenuous exception#there's a reason he keeps it instead of sewing it back on right away.#he doesnt understand that keeping it is Kinda Really Fucked Up#his thought process behind it is 'well. barnabys not using it anyway and i want to keep him with me but i cant risk the rest of him'#wally: this is perfectly rational and well thought out#literally everyone else: THE FUCK IT IS-
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fleetfinite posting hours, look at my goobers
#my art#shoves my fave rarepair in ur face LOOK!!! LOOK AT THEM#fleetfinite#infinite the jackal#fleetway super sonic#yeah i know super sonic isnt called fleetway shut up i just think its a cool name#sth#nobody touch me IM THINKING ABOUT THEM...#this is just a taste. i need to draw them more fucked up#bc their dynamic is a lot more imbalanced and toxic than u may think#obviously. otherwise why would i like it HAHA#the main thing to note is that fleetway is entirely more capable of killing infinite at any time than infinite is of killing fleets#but he chooses to keep infinite alive and around so he can fuck with him in every way#infinites ruby energy is also extremely intriguing and useful to fleets so he likes to use infinite as like a phone charger#hes more fixated on infinite as a tool than as a person. just like everyone else lol :)#but he does find value in infinite as an individual cuz hes really fun to mess with#fleets LOVES stepping over infs boundaries to piss him off and make him uncomfortable#especially bc he knows inf cant do much about it. its fun to watch him squirm#any time inf stands up for himself or appears to be in control its just bc fleets is allowing it to happen#and they both know it#tee hee :3
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daeran’s party at heaven’s edge made me feel the full spectrum of emotions in like 2 minutes
#woe mild spoilers ahead in the tags#but#endeared/hysterical: god he cant be falling for what im doing. he cant be this stupid#suspicious: maybe he ISNT that stupid. maybe hes fucking with me somehow#sadness: he was a BABY...#guilt: its kind of horrible for me to have even cooperated with this investigation like why are we prying into this tragedy#wrath: if he’s responsible for those SEVERED HEADS in my luggage i am going to kill him.#(experienced crusaders pls do not confirm/deny any of the above)#harker goes crusading#oh also loved the music and that seelah was vibing and like everyone else hated it.#10/10 event
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He's considering it
#GUESS WHAT I FINALLY STARTED PLAYING#I had seen this boy so many times in my interests orbit and finally decided to sit down and look into it and#i love him SO much you dont even understand#like if i had to create the ideal boy that appealed to every kink and preference i have this would be it#manchild?? unstable? violent tendencies? occasionally says vaguely sexist things? stop i can only get so turned on#i would comfort him when he cries all the time but like i could never tell him no so like#he would get pavlov'ed so that every time hes sad he immediate chomps me like a bebe to its moms tiddy#emotional support bloodbank#im now doing everyone elses routes first tho and then going back to finish his saving the best for last#tbh this game does pull some of my biggest pet peeves in otomes and the mc/protag is INSUFFERABLE#but worth it for Him™#and cries when you beat him at chess??? angel#cant wait to see how the bear gets incorporated when you fuck
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one of the best and most underrated parts of severa’s character is how she’s literally chrom’s biggest opp and she just doesnt give a fuck. she comes back in time and is one of the only kids to actually know who chrom is without him having to tell her (WHICH. BTW. NONE OF HIS SECOND KIDS CAN DO???) and she just starts hating like
like she hates his ass! and yes im aware of why but its just. its just so fucking funny, man…
#ann plays awakening#also if you cant tell by the garishly orange hair she is gaius’s daughter and i just. its only fitting. he’s so proud of her i bet#i love the gaius/cordelia family dynamic sorry everyone i know i know#BUT ITS FUNNNYYY… ITS FUNNYYYYYY!!!!!#they have been my comfort hets since my first awakening playthrougj leave me alone…#actually first fe playthrough ever. i paired their expies in fates first. man…#but yeah idk imagine being chrom and your sassiest friend’s daughter j comes at you calling you ugly#and then she goes and fucks your daughter like what#AND NOBODY ELSE GAF!!! FUCK YOU CHROM (i love chrom guys. i do. i swearsies i love chrom)
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shoutout gothcleats shippers o7
#rambling#idk i feel like as a dndads blog im legally obligated to make A post abt it#but idk! it was fun#sad about normal but glad everyone else got a happy ending#(warning i get like. pointlessly negative/personal beyond this point)#but idk. ive been so checked out of s2 that i feel like. detached?#like makes me feel shitty to admit this but i just dont really care#idk if that has to do with my disinterest with the season. or just not being fixated anymore#or just my own mental state as of recent#it just makes me really sad that i feel this way about a series i adore#i dunno. i'd like to do a relisten of s2 so i can really pinpoint what about it frustrates/bores me#but rn i just cant be bothered#dont get me wrong i love this season!!! i feel the need to clarify any time i get negative about it#i love the characters and most of the plot and there were things i found really really compelling#and god its SOOO FUCKING FUNNY#my venting comes from a place of love yknow#but yeah tldr i have like literally no strong thoughts on the finale atm. it was fine#but im excited for the future#dndads s2 spoilers
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Me, decorating my room: ...should I get a naruto poster?
Also me: If I search for naruto posters... they'll all make me angry in a way that's fucking unhinged
#and i was right. of course i was right. i wanna spit and bite#thry focus on the wrong things. why cant they just read my mind and make exactly what i specifically want?#why the fuck woukd i want an itachi poster??? i want a fucked up chakra tree sapping the people of their life force#i want naruto standing strong when everyones trying to tear him down. i want kushina telling naruto how much she loves him before she dies#i want iruka taking care of naruto when everyone else has turned their backs. but those make for bummer fucking posters#and i dont wanna hang my own art on my walls. maybe i need to go to an anime con. but i still feel like the artists would focus on the wron#things. ugh. i am become a naruto elitist. i just have too many feelings abt naruto >:-[#also. i live in the middle of nowhere in the mountains now so like i dont thibk ill b going to any cons.#also moving across the country is fucking exhausting and idk when ill have time to properly draw yet#naruto ramblings#is it too much to ask for everyone to interpret naruto like i do? in opposition of the writer?? is it me who's out of touch???#no. its the people who are wrong. lol me and my fucking naruto feels
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u guys ever think about killing urself for everyone elses sake.
just so people wont have to go thru the annoyance of talking to me or the disgust of seeing my face so they can be happier by talking to their other friends instead of me so they dont have to deal with my actual fucking stupidity
#tw vent#tw suicide#ingnore this. btw. or dont i cant stop you lol#imsso close to cutitng off everyone i know so they can be happier i alreadyblocked a few people i knewnow ionly know one person irl#imf so glad she found other people so she'll be completely fine if i disappear out of her life her life sounds like its going great actuall#ruining my life ^_^#i dont want to talk to people but for their sake#IM GENUINELY SO FUCKING STUPID AND UPSETTING TO TALK TO .#does anyone even love me anymore#im probably doign this for my own selfish reasons#i dont go outside anymore for everyone else sake. so they dont have to see my ugly face. or deal with my awful speech#at least i can still draw.... only way i can mkae people happy..#im mean to myself more than anyone else is mean to me at htis point. why#im not even capable of becoming mentally well at hthis point. im a lost cause#tell me what you rlly think . just tell me to shut the fuck up. just call me annoying. whatever u say cant be worse than what i do to mysel#pleasee im just dragging u down and making u feel worse whenever u tlak to me DO YOU NOT REALISE IT#i dont want to feel better for myself i want to feel better so i can be useful to others#i fucking hate people but i love them a lot . i gues i just hate how i affect others. social outcast i guess
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HE ATE THIS SCENE UP SO MUCH AND HE DESERVES TO FINALLY MFING JUSTICE FOR THIS MAN
ABOUT THIS PARRALEL ,,,
#THE FACTS ITS PARRALELING BACK TO THE FIRST MOVIE??#OH MY FOD I CANT#NAH BECAUSE IM SO GLAD IT WAS ANDY TO BE THE ONE TO DO IT INSTEAD OF EVERYONE ELSE#THE FACT THAT ITS BEEN 34 YEARS AND ANDY SAID HE WAS ALSO TERRIFIED AND SCARED? LIKE ABOUT DAMN TIME HE ACTUALLY FACED HIS FEARS#IK HES NOT ACTUALLY DEAD BUT THE FACT THAT ANDY WAS THE ONE TO DO IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY BECAUSE HE WENT THROUGH SO MUCH#ANDY JUSTICE IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME AND THIS SCENE IS SO MWAHHHH CHEFS KISS FR#chucky tv series#chucky spoilers#chucky#andy barclay#childs play#i cant actually even fathom LITERALLY that andy is so GOOD THIS SEASON??#WITHOUT HIM BEING BARELY PRESENT??#THEY ACTUALLY FUCKING PULLED IT OFF??#THERES SOMETHING SO GOOD ABOUT THIS SCENE ABOUT ANDY AND ACTUALLY COMING TO TERMS AND FACING HIS FEARS ABOUT THE WHOLE SUTATION LIKE OH MY G#GOD THIS SCENE IS GOING TO LIVE RENT FREE SO MUCH IDC#IM SO HAPPY IT WAS ACTUALLY ANDY TO KILL HIM !! LIKE THE WRITERS CHOSE HIM AND IT COULDVE BEEN ANYONE ELSE!! AND THEY PICKED HIM!!!#GOD IM SO HAPPY THEY DIDNT INGORE HIM LIKE IT GENUINELY MAKES ME HAPPY THAT ANDY CHARACTER IS LITERALLY NOT BEING THROWN AROUND#AND HAVING HIM NOT HAVING ANY REVELANCE TO PLOT OR CHR AND THEY DID IT!! LIKE THIS IS IT ISTG#GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH THIS SEASON THEY UTILIZED HIM SO MUCH AHHHHHH
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ik realistically i never got a lot of love for jensen and bryce bc oh my god a queer pairing of color?????? fucking tragic i know but also i like to pretend its just bc they are too complex for the mere cishet choices player to understand 😌
#no bc fr otherwise ill just be sad :')#on one hand i love laying everything on the line from day one#my first fic was a demiro bryce fic which scared off all the bryce romancers bc god forbid i go against the general consensus hc#and like sure i dont want them there if they cant appreciate or try to understand other hcs#but on the other hand like how fucking disappointing is that???#like its just so fucking tragic#this fandom is such a non queer friendly place#and not usually in the literal bright red im queerphobic way#but in the small ways that are so obvious#to queer people but maybe not the rest#and idk i just.. miss a lot of the people that were here when i started ig??#like ik im the one who bothered to stay this long but also like i just want people to enjoy media/hc bc theyre good???#like not bc they fit a trope you like??#idk im just wishing for something that isnt a thing here#and i Know it#but still#to have friends who love the characters i do would be so nice#just to gush about them yk#but the second i came here with a different hc it immediately set me too far apart from everyone else#and on one hand i Am annoyed#but on the other i just ignore it bc if i paid attention to it i might rip somebody's arm off#n e ways that was a nice mj ramble for you all youll never get it again
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i Need to draw more clemviminnie shit but how am i supposed to do that when minnie only exists alongside them for 2 episodes then dies
#its why i alive her for some post s4 stuff just so i have more to work with 😔#but i dont Love doing that....she sealed her fate..she was lost in the sauce...#but theres so much there..............#the way minnie was concerned for vi while betrayed!vi and clem were fighting in the cell she def still had feelings...#they still wouldve been dating if she was never taken like......#ITS SO MESSY I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#like while i Do think there was some tension in their relationship somewhere bc that line in the woods didnt come from nowhere#no matter how changed she was by the delta that sentiment had to come from somewhere. maybe she could just never say it#but idk if they wouldve broken up over it and there was no reason for violets feelings to change either. she just grieved her 'death'#vi says the real minnie is gone and that she'll do what she has to to keep everyone else safe but like....#theres no way shes not still conflicted on some level like you can see it on the boat she cant leave her. esp since she kinda blames hersel#minnie being clems dark reflection but clem is minnies reflection just as much (obvs) the tension is palpable between them#clem being the part of herself that she killed when she killed sophie...the symbolism of killing your own twin...#and how much does clem remind her of sophie too like whos clem Really mirroring here#THERES SO MUCH MEAT THAT IM CHEWING ON THIS IS A GRAND MEAL#and i cant fucking do anything about it 😭 seriously how do i work within these constraints#there isnt even a 2 week jump like there is in ep2 theres no unaccounted for time in eps 3 and 4 ITS KILLING ME#i bet in a betrayed!vi route minnie was glad to see her when they made it to the boat. and vi feeling betrayed by clem was a perfect target#totally susceptible. minnie gets in her head that its safer to give in instead of fighting back... and now theyre together again...#vi betrayed by clem falling right back into minnies arms OOF girl get away she is Fucked Up..theyre both fucked up 😭 clem u broke her#betrayed!vis reaction to hearing minnies confession about sophie..girl must have been so emotionally fucked in that cell#mmm toxic yuri mmmmm :)#god clemvi really has it all..............................................#why would i need anything else...when clemvi is here#twdg#it speaks#still cant believe my fave girlie really got it all :)
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one of the (admittedly many) reasons i love love love LOVE my uf and ht self inserts i think is because all the shit i hate about myself is amplified with them and i LOVE them for it. theyre weird gross perverted overbearing annoying creeps who nobody really feels comfortable around. and its the BEST!!!!!!!!! like yeah they suck shit. they dont know anything and theyre genuinely disturbing and disgusting people. arent they just the BEST
#cherry chats#i happen to love girls who are the worst ever. is the thing#when my ht/uf inserts make everyone around them uncomfortable and gross people out and when nobody likes them i think its so awesome and fun#they both suck so bad. theyre awesome#they dont KNOW shit they cant DO shit theyre weird nasty FREAKS#theyre overbearing and clingy and creepy and selfish and completely fucked in the head. and theyre everythinf 2 me#^____^#i love my fucked up little self inserts. they are so not okay over there#had a visual image of my uf self insert lighting they and sans’ bed on fire cause he annoyed them. lmfao#blame kiss with a fist That song is everything in the world to me Ok#btw speaking of which i should really give my most common self inserts nicknames#because going ‘my uf and ht self inserts’ every time is a pain#like. my trollsona although i dont talk about them much is a favorite too and their name is zairku Cuz troll names etc#and in my head i nicknames my horrortale guy 207 for. some fuckin reason#ermm. whadda hell do i call that underfell freak then.#……………… cherry???? bc thats qhat i used to go by way way WAY back in the day???#and it. SORTA fits the general uf aesthetic…..???#well. just like how 207 was a placeholder that just became their nickname i guess cherry would be the same#if i called them that as a temporary placeholder while i think of something else itd just end up being their name anyway. lol#okie dokie hehehee thats good then ^__^ i think ill add that 2 my pages when i get out of bed#which is. very soon bcuz i wanna smoke. so im goin outside. its -4° out
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unrelated but i DO kinda feel guilty for my little crush for reasons i will not explain. but. yeah its wild over here tonight
#🍯#sfw#like he casually mentioned being glad he can have friends who dont expect it to become anything more and i felt ill#so. ill stop having THOSE feelings immediately lol#but i genuinely DO love him as a friend#n he said i was one of the first ppl he felt comfy writing with#and i. am soooo emotional 2night#my friends r so important 2 me and im never gonna say SHIT bc i love him as my friend wayyy 2 much#sorry im saying this here we r just mutuals on my main so. akdhsk#also we were talking abt potential meet ups the other day and i HATE living where i live. everyone else is soo far away#one of my friends is coming 2 the states soon n i will be a 10 hr drive away. thats fuckign miserable#the guy this post was originally abt and 2 of our other friends live close enough that he could drive 2 them. and its the opposite side of#the country#i wanna get 2 meet my friends so fucking BAD#like. i cant put it into words but i wanna give them hugs and see their faces when they smile and akdbdn#when is it MY turn to meet my friends irl#my shark
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well i think its finally time to open this box
#sorry gang apparently i am incapable of sticking to my word and am continuing to have a personality on main and subject you all#to all of my bullshit#i am doing my best but i am a weak bitch who does not know how to process feelings#so its a fucking miracle im opening this box tbh. ive wavered a lot around this one#this round of thinking is being brought on by the probable imminent break up between me + my gf 🙃👍#its been on the cards for a hot minute i mean. she hasnt sent me a message since the 8th of march until today and its like a.#we need to talk message so. like im not surprised. ans ive been thinking about it all a lot recently#i dont really want to realise im aro while im with someone so ive been avoiding it but like. ive been thinking. and ive been thinking if we#shouod break up too anyway because like. i get i am so hard to be around. but nothing. for a month. even a silly picture. it hurts dude#but i kinda didn't want to push because. i know i am. me. and a lot. and i know shes got stuff on her plate. but so do i#maybe we're both no good#to be around#nyxtalks#this is very not helpful in my whole. everyone i love leaves me eventually so i should isolate myself and push them all away thing i guess#but i dont think. i want to cling. i dont wanna be that pathetic.#she can do better than me (i cant do better than her)#i mean. idk ive been questioning if im aro anyway so. idk#i dont fucking know#honestly this is gonna be so cringe if this isnt what she wanted to talk about but like. what else could it possibly be i guess#dude i am so sorry if you read this this turned into relationship vent rather than my feelings around aromanticism#those are.complicated enough for their own post and i probably need to talk to some actual aromantic people about that
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like im just saying they should invent a family that doesn't make you want to kill yourself
#and a school system while theyre at it#or just a me that wouldn't make me want to kill myself#just like. without all the problems that make it impossible to exist in normal society as myself#i know technically its possible for me to have a future but goddammit i dont see one okay#i havent made a single goddamn real life connection since middle school and now we're so distant i barely remember whos who on discord#thats not to mention how I've just been on the edge of every friendgroup anyway. including that one#im just some fucking loser. im not going to fucking graduate my only career aspiration is a goddamn pipe dream and if i dont fucking kill#myself by then im going to be stuck living with my family forever and we're not going to be seeing eye to eye.#all ive ever done is dig myself a deep grave and then tether other people to me to drag them down too#i love you all but i dont know how you see me as anything but gross and annoying and weirdly fucking clingy okay#i just#i dont know what im fucking doing#i wish i did. i wish i knew but i dont. and it feels like everyone else has figured out how things work and im just supposed to do that too#but i cant. i fucking cant and it keeps getting worse and i keep getting worse and i keep making it worse for my family while im at it#i miss being able to imagine doing stuff tomorrow. or in an hour#i miss being able to wash the dishes and not having to think about stabbing myself with fucking cutlery#i miss being able to show my mother my report card#but its my fucking fault im in this mess in the first place#and i just cant fucking try enough. or at all#aethers rants#cw vent#cw sui ideation#personal posts and stuff idk
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