Candy.

Clean Ver

homestuck: beyond canon, but infinitely funnier because john from the hit webcomic homestuck is real.

Never drew Candy Karkat before, but here he is. The tragic man (never even read candy or meat tbh)

candy timeline has so much potential it's driving me crazy

@davekatweek Day 7: Beginnings

>> Forgive

all my friends are dead and gone

okay I’m not a huge dirkjohn shipper but. epilogue dirkjohn

specifically ult dirk and candy john. like, total control of the narrative villain vs some divorced father. and then they kiss

Inb4 The Captchalogue Card Contains Daves Stuffed Corpse

posting this one for 4/13

happy birthday john!

One idea that seems to be spreading amongst Homestuck fans for the newest upd8 and for why Rose has devolved into this jaded nihilistic and surrendered personality is because she never really grew as a character from the retcon.

It’s a nice idea and way better for Rose’s character than just “Vriska fixed everything.” Rose was incapable of learning how to fight an addiction or control her impulses. As a seer of light she can now see the best possible outcome and can use it to manipulate people to get what she thinks is the inevitable event! She can’t fully understand or regulate her ability and has submitted to it, doing what she sees with no ability to change the causes for the effect.

Same with Jade, she never got to socialize with John or learn human interaction or social skills with Davesprite and Nannasprite. She just stayed on a ship alone for 3 years and just met all her friends after their Sburb session after [S] Collide! On earth C she never thought about training herself to understand when someone does or does not consent to her advances and allows herself to be this eternally teenage girl in an adult body.

Dave and Karkat also don’t rectify their feelings and just watch romcoms and argue with each other. All the beta kids and beta trolls had their changes undone for a sweeter and simpler hiatus before executing the perfect plan and winning the game, skipping over character growth.

This was the results of the retcon, this was John’s ultimate sacrifice. Win the game and defeat the ultimate evil only for all his friends to degredate and relapse into their worst behaviors. John gave the universe cancer, not because he rushed the frog breeding oh no, it’s because he destroyed the time loops needed to create Lord English and replaced them with his own stable time loops, which still create Lord English on Earth C, because Lord English is the cancer.

And John did such by saving Vriska, making her the hero to defeat LE, make Dave fight Lord Jack and let Davepeta defeat LE, when it was a hero of hope and time destined to defeat him, not a sprite that’s half time half heart, and a page who knocks him out. Vriska broke the destiny, she also gave Earth C cancer.

There is only one way to solve this.

John and Vriska go on a HUMAN DATE and SMACK THOSE LIPS TOGETHER IN TRUE MATESPIRITSHIP

Wouldn't it technically be TEREZI'S FAULT since she was the one who instructed John to do all this. So technically, the blame is also on her. I can't believe that blind bitch made things worse just because she wanted spider pussy. She really was perfect for Karkat because they both infected the universes and fucked them up. To be a bit serious, I'm not sure if it would be because of John's Post Retcon actions. How will Meat be any better if this shit is happening to Candy? How will John get brought back for Meat by Terezi? Will John in Candy fuse his mind with Meat Trans June once she's brought back? I'm not sure what copium some people are on to think the update was the result of that, cause I'm still on the side of no hopium for Beyond Canon.

I haven’t seen anyone talk about it yet but doesn’t the character paths in beyond canon seem similar to idea behind Complacency of the Learned. Maybe I should beef back up on it but. Kids that become as powerful as gods and all go some form of crazy with the power? Like power of that kind can twist and bastardize any personality. Why would someone with that power have to grow as a person, are they even a person anymore? I think it would be easy for any of them to decide their mistakes/flaws didn’t matter in the grand scheme of who they are and what they meant to Earth C.

I don't know about people's characterizations of Kanaya, but Candy Kanaya beats the absolute shit out of Rose and then leaves. Anything where she stays just makes no sense for the girl known for blowing her fuse and attacking/killing people who have hurt her or her friends.

Today's dog girl of the day is Ruby aka Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley from Homestuck2...

April fools. I hate homestuck2

vl presentszz…. dirkjake Sadsad radio!

1. Holy ghost - modern baseball

2. Man of war - radiohead

3. Star - mitski

4. All my happiness is gone - purple mountains

5. Lucky charms - moldy peaches

6. It ain’t me, babe - bob dylan

7. Good guy - julia jacklin

8. Pictures of you - the cure

9. Once more to see you - mitski

Because their parents are gods are Tavros Crocker, Harry Anderson Egbert, and Yiffany technically gods as well? Demigods? Is Vrissy also a god because she’s Vriskas descendent? How does their parents godhood play into the Candy Kids lives

💪👴💕🏳️‍🌈🍌

i. hmmmmmmmmrmm. ok. ok dirt. ok.

i know youre making fun of me rn but bc i love you i will write OUR old men. for you. youre WELCOME. candy karkat pov ahead

You think you're too old for this.

After years at war, years spent fighting for your life, for your species, you thought you were long past shit like this. There was no space for it in your life. You had friends betray you and you had half your face blasted off and your skin carved up like a bad first attempt at sculpture, and you're built like a last attempt, hardened and towering and cool as stone. It didn't matter when you were standing at the head of a conference table built deep underground, commanding armies and watching people flinch at the growl in your voice.

There's gray in your hair now, starting at the temples and flowing into the wild curls that you've let grow too long. Your skin has gone a deep pitch, your eyes a vibrant red. Your shoulder clicks when you roll it, and your voice has a quiet rasp from years of shouting yourself hoarse across battlefields. You can barely hear out of one ear anymore, and you can't see out of one eye at all. Your skin is a network of scars and on your worst days, your muscles still feel the impact of a thousand punches.

So why, then, do you feel like this? Your heart flutters like a bird spreading its feathers, fitting into your throat like it thinks it could escape that way. Your hands are so clammy that you've wiped them on your pants three times already. You're at a loss for words for the first time in years, and all at once, you feel so very young.

Dave moves like he's more dream than person, stopping, restarting, clipping in and out in a flash of sun. It bends around him in blinding halos, glinting off of metal and leaving traces of red silk in your vision. The shift of gears and flex of artificial muscles are as hypnotic as the silent beat he moves to. He trains like he's fighting a battle of his own, some unspoken fear written deep into his wiring in a way that you can see, but don't know how to reach.

But he stops for you. Like pressing pause on the world, everything slows down when he hops up onto the platform next to you, clearing five feet like it's nothing at all. His hair, golden and rolling in the wind, has traces of white in it now. His freckles, few and dark, are like sunkisses across his tan skin. He kept his scars in this new body, and you never tell him that you're glad for it, tracing the map you memorized years ago from his jaw, to his cheek, to his eyes, dark voids hidden by the lens of his sunglasses. You don't think about how he isn't breathing hard. You don't think about how he doesn't breathe at all, anymore. You watch the corner of his mouth curl upward and you just feel... You feel...

He bumps his arm against yours when he stands next to you, and it feels warm through your shirt. He's shorter than you now, and it's still strange. Stranger still, for how you like it. You think he's like a beam of sunlight against your side, heating you up from the inside.

You don't know how to speak to him right anymore. There's so much different, and you're so old, now. Maybe too old to fix it. Your stomach twists strangely every time you're around him and you can't look at him enough, you can't look at him at all.

The tips of your fingers brush against the back of his hand, hesitant, careful. Your lungs feel like they won't work and you feel twitchy, nervous. But his fingers slide through yours like warm water, reassuring and easy, and you breathe. The sun streams golden and red across the sky and you feel young.