#can't i just pause time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

miomxo · 7 months

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god can someone help me. I have no idea what i want to do in life and college applications have started and i want to cry. believe me when i say i havent the faintest idea and all this is so stressful.

tbh i never thought as far as college or jobs. i never thought about life farther then 16. ive been living life on autopilot, passively, and suddenly the day to make a decision is here. and i have no idea what i want to do, what my passions are. ive even lost track of what i enjoy doing. and my fam is not in the financial position for me to take a gap year to find myself. if anyone had any advice i would be forever grateful

#a levels #college #lost #need help #advice #adhd #subjects #sorry for being depressing #confused on what to do #i want cry #can't i just pause time #autopilot

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fyoht · 10 months

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season 2 + nods to 'crowley was raphael' truthers

#personally i quite enjoy being delulu #golden tooth truther here I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS BUT I KNOW IT MEANS THINGS.#aLSO. THE PAUSE. WHEN GABRIEL TRIES TO REMEMBER THE NAME. MUSIC SWELLING.#a fakeout if i ever saw one #(you can't) change my mind #and listen i love the 'crowley was a nobody' theory just as much but they threw that one out the window with the file reveal #so.#crowley is lucifer theory is uh fun but i can't get behind it whoops #good omens #crowley #crowley was raphael #good omens 2 spoilers #ok that's too many tags already. if you're still reading PLEASE RECOMMEND ME FICS.#and also if you want a gifset send an ask cause i'm obsessed #also! feel like most of these are from heaven-times. and yeah. more 'crowley in heaven' content @neil gaiman please #crying over the gif quality btw

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booasaur · 7 months

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wtFOCK - 7x01

#wtfockedit #wtfock #anais davis #bobbie de bruyn #laura bekaert #nell cattrysse #wtfock 7x01 #wtfock spoilers #anobbie #femslash related stuff #meet-cute :>#I'm back! worse than ever #get ready for more random pauses and unanswered asks :x #this time with no vacation as the reason #but I saw on my phone that I'd spent MORE than 56 hours on twitter this last week #that's just...I can't keep that doing that #so I'll check in on things routinely but maybe not to the tune of 8 hours a day #anyway I was somewhat intrigued at the start of this ep and then unsure about the Bad Girl trope #though I was like well these poor skams how many different teen stories can they tell #but the citrus twist at the end???#I cackled and am now quite curious to see how this plays out #I guess they got at least one more story #asks are open btw but I'm still catching up on:#TMS; WOT; boiling point; khufiya; gen v; everything now; usher; while the men are away; and neon #I'm caught up on invasion and doom patrol and general hospital though lol

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zishuge · 6 months

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I'm supposed to be working but instead I'm thinking about Li Lianhua growing vegetables and how, once upon a time, he was so happy that he almost cried when he finally managed to grow some turnips.

Thinking about how he must've been at rock bottom then - sick, injured, heartbroken, having just lost in one fell swoop everyone and everything he's ever cared about. His shixiong, dead. He believes it's his fault. His shifu, dead. He believes it's his fault. His sect, in ruins. He believes it's his fault. His people no longer believe in him. A-Mian doesn't love him anymore. It's all his fault, it's all his fault.

He doesn't have Hulijing yet. He's alone. He's heartsick. He'll be dead in ten years, or much sooner than that if he can't find some food and shelter. His Sigu Sect leader token is only worth 50 taels of silver. It turns out everything he has built his life around is worth only 50 taels of silver. I can hear his self-deprecating laugh. How foolish he must've felt, having his life's ambition put so violently and abruptly into perspective.

Have you ever been so despondent that you cling desperately to just one thing, anything, that you can focus on in order to not think about everything else? So: turnips.

Tending, weeding, watering, counting, day by day by slowly passing day. The vegetables grow and he survives. And finally, one day, he discovers that against all odds, he has turnips. These hands which he believes have caused the destruction of all that he once held dear, somehow managed to nurture creation and support life. Everything and everyone is gone, but here in his hands is this one small glimmer of hope that perhaps he is not only capable of ruin. How happy he must've been. Was it the first time he felt joy since before the East Sea battle? How he must've wanted to tell someone, but there was no one there.

You know who he must've most wanted to tell? His shifu. His shifu, who once told him that he didn't care about Xiangyi becoming any great martial artist. Just eat well, drink well, and live well. Maybe kneeling there in the dirt, gently cradling his small misshapen turnips in his hands — maybe that's when Li Lianhua finally understands what Shifu meant.

#and so he promised himself he would do nothing but try to live by shifu's words for the rest of his life #of course that is until fang duobing crashed into it #mysterious lotus casebook #莲花楼 #word vomit #it's li lianhua feels hours #when i tell you that that one scene of him tending to his turnips #made me absolutely lose it #i had to pause because i was sobbing so hard i couldn't see the screen #i can't have been the only one #just imagining what he must've felt then #every time i think about it my heart aches #i'm sorry this is so long i just can't stop thinking about it and need to get it down #i have to go cuddle my dog now #my ramblings #text

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amplexadversary · 10 days

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Aabria Iyengar: *Under her breath* "Why is it every game I'm in, someone invents fucking baseball?

Robbie Daymond: *Laughter*

Matt Mercer: "Goat-ball, technically, and it was Chris Perkins."

Erica Lindbeck: "Chris Perkins turned me into a werewolf in my private campaign."

Aabria Iyengar: *Laughter*

Robbie Daymond: "Really?"

Erica Lindbeck: "Yeah he's the reason I'm a- yeah."

Matt Mercer: "What a dick."

Aabria Iyengar: "I'm sorry or you're welcome, I don't know where on the mosterfucker spectrum you lie."

Erica Lindbeck: It's very to the right.

#CR3-93 #Critical Role #CR Cast #Crown Keepers #Why can't Twitch just pick an amount to rewind/fast forward and stick with it?#Or start the video at the same spot I paused it at when I press play?#I can literally see the time stamp jump forward what the hell?#This problem makes it so hard to watch as someone who gets interrupted all the time >:(

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latent-thoughts · 3 months

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Please, Gods, give me the patience to deal with my family members. It seems that all of them are bent on trying the very last drop of it. 😭🙏

#mom fell down again despite my best efforts to stop it. I told her not to move without me. but obviously it was too much to ask #sister doesn't know what she wants. is actually getting a great opportunity but is still not happy #dad has anger issues again #everyone is acting like I'm their therapist #or their 24/7 caretaker #I'm literally in pain 24/7 but they've forgotten about that aspect of my life #I'm at my wits end trying to care for everyone #I can't even take time off for myself #I want to pause my existence for a few weeks just to recover #Devy rants about life #personal stuff

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feelingpure · 5 months

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“I'm sure you don't want to come, considering what a fucking self-righteous bore you've turned into!”

When I catch Hawkins Fuller:

Further live reactions under the cut, because wuifdbivfyisvdtusdyif I need to yell about whatever tf else is gonna take place.

THEY GOT MY BOY DOING BLOW Y'ALL 😭 (ok it's the late 70s so yes everyone is doing coke, and he didn't do it like a novice, but I'm still blaming them idc). And the finger sucking... we'll come back to that at some point lmao. What is going awn?

Ok, now he's been fed pills on the dance floor. 😂 Anyway the soundtrack is banging, so now i'm like (booging to forget):

Not this being-jealous-of-craig thing pls.

Tim is... not looking like he's having a good time anymore. 😭

And something's happening with the rest on the dancefloor. I'm feeling very anxious.

Marcus and Frankie having a domestic at his work place. “I have news for you. You are a big chocolate gay man.” and his student is watching in the background. 👀 Ok Marcus, time to confront some things (I hope)! And then he said THAT, and then he did THAT. Omg, the way Frankie yeeted him 😭 everyone is in pain.

Skippy is very 💅 here. And I can't decide if I fully hate Craig or... he's v annoying but also lol?

The boyfriends are fighting! Aaaaahhh, GET HIM TIM!

Ok suddenly something very different is happening... also that Tim/Hawk kiss, yes! (it was a lil slutty, but that's all I've been wanting). OH I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS WTF IS HAPPENING OMG WFQOVBSDVBSFJKB!

Nvm... it's not happening, even though Hawk tried to force their heads together like a kid playing with 2 dolls. Cause look at his face peaking from between theirs hahah. 😂 Anyway... WHEN DID CRAIG TAKE HIS SHORTS OFF LMAOOO?! They just weren't there all of a sudden??!!

WAIT I'M ACTUALLY SCREAMING. IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING NOW (via some v questionable words from Hawk but).

👀👀👀 WAIT WHAT-- WHVBDLAD. So Hawk can get it up if Skippy is there. Alright. And Craig's dirty foot just hanging out right there as they kiss aaahhh lol. Ok, apparently I've hit the image limit haha, but there's a lot of limbs in places... and someone is calling me rn so I have to pause wtf. 😭😭😭

So I came back after I finished watching it and. Well well, that was a terrible time to pause ietbhfvebigadwn!!! Anyway, I'd keep blabbing on next to more caps if it'd let me.

But just... that whole episode was A LOT. The way things escalated, the way scenes turned upside down and then back again. The explosive husband arguments! The ending to that threesome was wild. The final 70s Tim/Hawk scene. OUCH.

Yes, Hawk's been hurt but. Hm, I have a lot of feelings, will probs have to be a separate post if I get the chance. There's too much to dissect. All in all; I am a Tim Laughlin warrior, and if you're yelling at him Hawk then I'm gonna have to yell at you.

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money-and-dandellions · 3 months

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continuation to this post:

Meg who unintentionally and absolutely illogically gets worried when Lester gets sick after the ghoul incident and he doesn't really understand why would she do that

until he does

#meg will fidget with literally anything and stare at him non stop #and ask him so much questions which is strange (why would she ask so much questions; why she asks him to make a stop; why she stares at hi #as if he will disappear; why she frowns so much at him? he is fine?)#so she asks him questions OR doesn't ask them at all just looking at him because he is tired and sick and how for the fuck he i—#—what if he will die? she can't lose him not again he almost died je was so pale she can't lose him again its going to he her fault—#and lester doesn't really understand why she seems so unnerved but tries so hard not to show it until he stops to yk stretch or smthng and #and practically blanks out and all he can hear is his little sister's voice why it is so small why it sounds so scared is she crying why—#why would she cry he is fine why is his cheeks wet ow that hurts and then he gets conscious and realises after a pause what had happened an #and sees meg that is so so scared and oh gods im sorry i didn't mean to scare you whats wrong why are you crying—#oh #and lester will get it after some time and try to make sure that she is okay that my dear meg is not your fault i am fine just a #a little tired and its okay shhhh #i am a sucker for when lester is sick af #the author is also sick with harsh flu is had fever (39°C) for 2 days straight but now is getting better #toa #lester papadopoulos #meg mccaffrey #sunflower siblings #love them #and they love each other #platonically

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amethystina · 9 months

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Wait wait wait you just watched Marry My Dead Body?!?? I need to commiserate then holy shit. I watched it yesterday because I was travelling and also figured it be a fun goofy film to watch while stuck in transit for hours and then suddenly it was over and I was sitting there in goddamn TEARS. I WAS NOT EXPECTING IT TO BE SO EMOTIONAL. IT MADE ME LAUGH AND THEN ALSO STABBED ME IN THE HEART. I feel like it played me for a fool, but in the best possible way. What a good ride it is :’)

OH MY GOD SAME.

Well, except I was at home and went: "I'll watch this before going to bed, I'm sure it'll be a fun time" and, I mean, it WAS but it also wasn't. Like, after I finished it I just sat there, not knowing how to contain all the emotions I was experiencing. How the fuck was I supposed to sleep after something like that?

I genuinely had no idea what to do with myself (I still kind of don't tbh). I did NOT expect to cry as much as I did. Quite a few things can make me cry but this just hit me right where it hurts. And I didn't expect it, in any way, shape, or form. I was completely unprepared.

It was supposed to be a silly comedy!

But, like, for real? The "my husband" moment? You should have HEARD the fucking noise I made. It was guttural. I was fucking obliterated.

(and oh man, I so desperately want to make people feel that way with my writing. I am so, so inspired!)

Long story short, I'm emotionally compromised and I have absolutely no regrets. I just love, love, love becoming this invested in a story and I'm still neck-deep in feels. It's been two days already but my thoughts just keep returning to this movie, time and time again.

So I'm guessing I'm going to rewatch it in a day or two x'D

#Amethystina Replies #wolfandrain #Marry My Dead Body #This won't be something I write a fanfic for tho #I don't have anything to add #Like I genuinely can't think of anything to write because I'm afraid of ruining my current feelings for this movie #I want to leave it just the way it is #So I guess I'll have to find and outlet somewhere else #And considering the level of emotion I'm itching to convey?#Time to get back to Who Holds the Devil I guess #Since that's the only story I have right now which is intense enough #I am going to wreck some shit up #Which was planned all along by the way #I usually take a break after a big emotional climax #But I actually did the opposite this time #I paused because I needed to brace myself for what's to come x'D #So I apologise in advance I guess #This will hurt

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cqcandchill · 2 months

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🎶 i'm so sick of crying and my eyes are so swollen it hurts but i can't stop 🎶

#dehydration speedrun any %#i hate feeling like i have no time to grieve... i can't press pause on my responsibilities and the world just keeps going #and i just have to keep motoring through deadlines and due dates as if i'm not completely incapacitated rn #'it's just a cat' well he wasn't to me!!! that was my best friend

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imchronicallydepressed · 1 year

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More cursed images :) enjoy

#metal family #metal family glam #sebastian metal family #glam is the best #glam metal family #look at his fucking face #metal family chive #metal family ches #cursed metal family #I fucken can't with this shit sometimes #what the fuck is up with that neck #pausing at the wrong time is just horrendous

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dont-let-me-eat-pears · 13 days

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surefire way to make myself want to cry: listening to "merlin buries lancelot"

surefire way to make myself actually cry: going and watching the freaking heartbreaking scene

#bbc merlin #merlin #lancelot #merlin x lancelot #lancelot du lac #ost #text: merlin #my text #i recommend neither #i've paused my rewatch bc i just can't handle his death this time #but i've been listening to the osts and oops i was suddenly struck with the stupid impulse to watch the end of 'lancelot du lac'#now i'm even sadder

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pinkberrypocky · 14 days

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pmmm rewatch live notes: ep 7

this episode is so good for the kyoko sayaka of it all. god the fucking tree of knowledge fruit of knowledge symbolism in this ep is SO

Kyubey is such a victim blamer

When Sayaka gets upset and ask why he didn’t tell them about the soul gems he says because they never asked which shifts the blame the them

The way he makes sayaka feel the pain of being stabbed to prove his point about teh use of soul gems is SO FUCKED

Hes trying to make them thankful to him for fucking with their souls by torturing them and saying look how bad it would have been

Mother gothel core tbh

The opening is madoka core madoka pov and the ending is homura core homura pov

I said this already but the part of the opening where madokami embraces madoka makes me literally feral

Madoka is so upset and horrified by the realities of the situation that she is unable to accept them as reality and make decisions that have any real impact (again literally me fr)

Until the end of course

Homura looks so hurt when madoka asks her why she is always so cold

Her hair shadows her eyes and she looks at her marked fingernail with disdain

When kyoko leads sayaka to the church she is a black silhouette against a yellow/orange sky

Kyoko kicks down the door to the church and crushes a beam beneath her feet

Kyoko offers sayaka an apple before trying to convince her that being selfless is not the way to go

Sayaka rejects it

Representative of rejecting the fruit of knowledge and stubbornly keeping naivety

Kyoko’s dad is lowkey just a cult leader who was really bad at it

The way kyoko holds the puppet of her dad up in the lore drop is representative of how she held him up in his religious efforts by making her wish

Kyoko also used to think of being a magical girl as a way to save the world but now she knows better

Sayaka is blank staring at kyoko during the whole story

She cannot truly listen to kyoko bc if she did she would see that kyoko is right and where would that leave her?

Kyoko says “If you wish for hope an equal amount of despair will come” AAAAAAAA

Homura wishes to be with madoka who is the personification of hope and in fighting for that she gets life after life of despair

Kyoko says that she only thinks about herself but that’s really not true at all otherwise she wouldn't be trying to enlighten sayaka

In a way kyoko is the same as her dad, preaching to others about how they can be saved only to never be listened to

Sayaka condemns kyoko for stealing the food and has a weird moral high ground about not eating them because of it

As if she thinks she’s better for not having to steal

She so blinded by her view of the world at this point that she can’t recognize the class difference and privilege that she acknowledged in earlier eps

Actually speaking of the duality of kyoko’s wish reflecting her character that kind of applies to all of them

Madoka wishes to create hope/eliminate despair/loneliness and in the process makes it so that she is forever alone and takes on everything for everyone else

Sayaka wishes to heal kyosuke and ends up not letting herself be with him since she no longer sees herself as human

Mami wishes to stay alive and ends up dying in ep 3

Homura wishes for madoka and ends up in a world without her

When hitomi and sayaka talk about kyosuke and hitomi admits her feelings they are the only ones in the restaurant

All the other seats are drawn in but empty

When madoka asks to come witch hunting with sayaka sayaka says “you’re too kind”

Mirrors what homura says often

Sayaka admits that she is failing at being a warrior of justice when she wished for a moment that she hadn’t saved hitomi so that she could be with kyosuke

The reason she has such a big breakdown is bc this isn’t just about kyosuke its about her morals that she is living for being proved wrong in an undeniable way

So what is she even fighting for?

When sayaka is fighting a witch that night she no longer cares about getting hurt since she knows she will be fine as long as her soul gem stays in tact

We only see her silhouette in black against a white background

Reflects her black and white thinking

The witch forms branch like shapes to attack her

Being attacked/hurt by the tree of knowledge

Blood on her face forms tears as she laughs and smiles widely

She says it works to detach herself and she doesn’t feel anything anymore bc her whole world has ended bc her ideals were her everything and now she can’t even have those

#puella magi madoka magica #pmmm #madohomu #madoka magica #holy quintet #madoka kaname #homura akemi #mahou shoujo madoka magica #if anyone has any thoughts about the fucking chairs lmk i am trying to understand why there are always so many #like in the restaurants i get it but why in the bedrooms?#god maybe i need to watch this by myself and go through frame by frame i feel like i am missing things #since i can't pause and assess since im watching it w my friends who are seeing it for the first time #literally i have endless so many thoughts about pmmm but im worried ppl would be not interested if i posted them #bc they're not in like full essay form so idk if that would be appealing to anyone #but also i don't feel like this is really smth other ppl are reading either so maybe i should just do it

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unopenablebox · 1 month

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every now and then one of my mutuals starts getting into something that one of my other mutuals has had a like self-directed home dissertation level of obsession with for years, and i still don't know anything about it either way but it's very funny learning what a normal trajectory of somebody experiencing it would be like

#it's not that i know anything myself it's that i never paused to consider what someone learning about it for the first time would say #rather than the incredibly involved academic inside baseball dispute-connoted remarks from which all of my knowledge is derived.#actually at least one of you is the first mutual on one topic and the second mutual on another topic. a lot of my tumblr friends are way up #on extremely specific long-running humanities research controversies in some way or other i guess. that does track.#imagine you only know about pastry technique from watching someone from afar as they beef with everyone else on earth about like #the exact air humidity ratio you should have for [whatever at this point i ran out of pastry knowledge to use in this example]#and then out of the blue someone else starts being like. hey i just learned to laminate croissant dough!#and it's like. i can't do that either. but the way you're mostly saying words i know or can look up is deeply uncanny to me.#box opener

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sweet-star-cookie · 7 months

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so i finished the teal mask dlc

#i'm not okay #i'm dead fucking serious i have never been so disquieted by a POKEMON GAME PLOT like this before and i don't like it #i'm so upset #look. LOOK. listen it has been established that the player's choices in pokemon do not actually matter outside of mild dialogue changes #i'm totally fine with pokemon moving towards more consequence-based stories #but if you're going to do that here then you NEED TO ACTUALLY /GIVE THE PLAYER A CHOICE/#THIS PLACE SUCKS I JUST CAME HERE FOR A GOOD TIME AND I'M FEELING SO ATTACKED RIGHT NOW ;;;;;;;;#FUCK YOU CARMINE I HATE YOU #I HATE YOU I HATE YOU #TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN AND I WILL DECK YOU IN THE FACE #YOU FORCED ME TO BE A BAD FRIEND TO THIS SWEET LITTLE BOY AND THEN WE TOOK AWAY HIS ONLY CHANCES AT FRIENDSHIP WITH ME /AND/ OGERPON #ABSOLUTELY HEINOUS #CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT #HE TRIED SO DAMN HARD THE ENTIRE TIME AND DID NOTHING WRONG AND I WILL /DIE ON THIS HILL/#I'M SORRY KIKI ;;;;_______;;;;#literally he had his completely justified joker moment at the end and my friend was like 'yeah sorry he's evil now' and I just paused #and then turned to her and said 'never love anything'#this is unrelated but if Iruma in M!IK ever turns actually evil like this at any point ever I am defenestrating my tv #i am SO tired and i am betrayed SO often CAN'T HAVE SHIT IN DETROIT ;;;;;;;#WHY CAN'T MY SWEET LITTLE GUYS JUST STAY SWEET LITTLE GUYS FOR ONCE #Kieran is my SON you can't DO THIS TO ME!!!!!!#also i would die for Ogerpon btw #she is my daughter and i love her #i want to squish her little face and hold her in my arms forever #i need a plush of her right the fuck now #if any of you villagers or tourists scare her or make her sad again i will cut you and that is a THREAT #my art #kind of lmao #pokemon

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lyraeon · 3 months

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constantly baffled by everything being "background noise". I can't multitask like that, if I'm listening to something I'm listening to it and all other actions stop. If I'm doing anything else (other than maybe idle doodling) I absorb nothing from what I heard, which makes listening to anything of I can't concentrate on it feel pointless

guess this finally explains why I have so little watch time on stuff compared to literally anyone else I know

#don't mind me just journaling in public #also it feels like I'm disrespecting someone if they're talking and I'm not listening #and that includes recordings #idk like this isn't a statement about anyone else #it's about my own inability to multitask #and how yet again it puts me behind everyone else #I'm years behind on any popular anything cuz I just don't have time to watch stuff #because I can't do anything else while I'm watching stuff #I can't play games I can't write I can't edit I can't even really talk to people in dms #I'll miss what's on so i have to pause or rewind #it's extremely frustrating #especially because I don't think I was this way when I was much younger #I swear I used to be able to juggle

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