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madam-wakefield · 5 months

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Open when... Chapter 9

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Summary:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 When a few years into their relationship Bernie is asked to go back to the army and deploy Serena isn't sure how she's going to get through the nine months without her girlfriend. What she doesn't expect is for it to be her girlfriend who has the perfect set of surprises to get her through both the best and the worst days. Canon divergent - Elinor lives (well actually the accident never happens), Raf lives, and Cameron isn't a total ass! The staff of AAU also probably didn't all work on there at the same time in canon but do in this! The fic is already fully written with the first few chapters having already been Beta'd. 27 chapters including the epilogue. Hoping to post every Monday and Friday!

Open when you feel ill…

It takes her feeling poorly to realise how much Bernie does for her when she’s around. She wakes up at 5am for her double shift, her alarm blaring too loudly in her ears, intensifying the headache she hadn’t been aware of two minutes before.

She rolls over to silence it and it’s then that she realises her muscles ache. She sighs because she can not afford to be ill.

She forces herself out of bed, wraps herself in her fluffiest dressing gown since she’s cold even for the time of year. She shuffles downstairs to make a drink, knowing Jason will be up soon and she can’t let him worry about her being ill.

By the time she arrives at work her headache has turned into a migraine despite the tablets she’s taken. Every noise makes her head pound. She spends as much of her time in the office as possible, doing paperwork, all the stuff she can do by hand, head unable to deal with the artificial light of the computer screen.

At lunch time she goes to Pulses, in need of a good strong coffee and perhaps a pastry. It’s not the soup Bernie normally cooks for her, but it will have to do because Bernie isn’t here. Her heart aches to have Bernie close, wonders what her brave soldier is doing at this very moment, and then feels so stupid for being so dramatic over being a little bit sick. She curses her own stupidity because she’s definitely got the better of their two deals. Her partner is in the middle of a war zone, for Christ’s sake!

She goes back to AAU determined to actually do her job, visit patients and pick up some of the slack she’s placed on Raf and Morven that morning. She doses herself up on painkillers–safe ones–before she heads into theatre to deal with the red phone, 36-year-old RTC victim. The surgery is more complicated than she expects, with extreme injuries even for a car accident. Every time they patch a tear it seems they find a new one elsewhere. The surgery lasts for five hours and it’s as she’s washing down that she starts to sneeze. She’s only got an hour of her shift left and she’s determined to get through.

She does her final ward round and heads to the nurses’ station to deposit a set of patient notes.

“Ms. Campbell,” Morven says when she straightens up. “No offence, but you look awful, why don’t you head home? Your shift finishes in ten anyway. Get out before the red phone keeps you here all night.”

Serena smiles at Morven, so thankful that she’s picked up on her feeling less than perfect. “You know what, Dr. Digby? I think I might just take you up on that offer.” She slips into the office, turns off her computer and makes a neat pile of paperwork she needs to finish. Before she pulls her coat down from the rack, wrapping it tightly round her, she feels cold even if her skin may feel like it’s on fire. She picks up her bag and heads for the door. Grateful that it’s fish and chips night and that she can ring in Jason’s order on the way to save her having to wait around.

As she steps back into the ward Morven is standing there holding a box out to her. Her eyebrows knit together because she’s not expecting anything, hasn’t ordered anything and when she does she always orders it to the house, the elderly neighbour always takes parcels in for them.

“What is that! And why would I want it?” Serena says perhaps a little too sharply, she instantly regrets it apologising quickly.

“It’s okay, no one likes being ill. But please just take it, don’t ask questions and open it when you get home,” Morven says, touching her arm gently. Serena wants to say that it’s a stupid idea, and why can’t she just open it here, save her having to find time to put the box in the recycling, but she doesn’t. Morven doesn’t deserve that, it’s not Morven’s fault she’s ill. She’s been amazing all day, picking up extra consults without Serena even having to ask. She may not have told them but every member of her AAU family knows she’s feeling like death warmed over.

She arrives home, the smell of Jason’s supper turning her stomach, so she’s extremely glad that she had chosen not to get anything for herself. Right now all she wants to do is crawl into bed and never get out again.

She places the box on the stairs and walks to the kitchen to set about plating up Jason’s dinner, calling him to let him know she’s home and it’s ready. She explains she’s not feeling well when he questions as to why she hasn’t got her own plate and excuses herself upstairs after reminding Jason that she loves him and that she’s here if he needs anything.

Serena dresses in her warmest pyjamas, the ones she wouldn’t need if Bernie were here, her own personal radiator. Before climbing under the covers, propping herself up on the pillow and turning her attention to the box then. She folds back the flaps quickly but stops when she notices what’s inside.

Bernie’s soup thermos, the same colour as that pink coat she loves so much, and that stupid folding army spoon that Serena always jokes about. She feels the lump start to form in her throat.

She lifts the thermos, warm to the touch already. Unscrews the lid and is met by the smell of butternut squash soup, the kind Bernie always makes when she’s not feeling good. She swipes at her eyes, willing the tears trying to pool there to go away. It’s then that she notices the envelope, Bernie’s messy writing reading “Serena - Open when you feel ill…”

She picks it up, finger tracing her name that Bernie herself had clearly written there. She turns it over and gently slides out the letter inside, and it even smells like her, Serena wonders if she’s sprayed it with her own perfume before writing.

My Dearest Serena,

If you are reading this, it means you are unwell. I’m so sorry that I can’t be there to hold you close, to kiss your forehead the way you like when you are feeling lousy. I’m sorry I’m not there to make you fresh soup the way I normally do, I hope the soup I made and had Morven freeze will help somewhat, I know how you struggle to eat when you are poorly.

I’m sorry I’m not there to hear your snarky remark about my stupid folding spoon. I’m sorry that I can’t tuck you up in bed and take all the pain away.

I know how much you hate being ill and right now I’d give anything to be by your side. While I’m not there to care for you please do it yourself, call in sick tomorrow if you need to. You and your health are important, my love, remember that if not for you, then for me.

Go eat the soup now, I’ll expect a verdict on its post-frozen taste in my next bluey. While you eat, remember that I miss you so much each day and that every spare moment I have I spend thinking about you. When I wake up in the horrible dusty bunk in the morning you are the first thought on my mind, and when I close my eyes to sleep, yours is the last face I see. Also remember that I love you so much, and that I will be home to hold you in my arms soon.

Feel better soon.

All My Love, Bernie,

Your Big Macho Army Medic x

By the time she has gotten to the bottom of the letter she is sobbing, hot tears dripping onto the page, because she misses Bernie so much. It’s not just that Bernie is so good to her, too good to her. While she was getting ready to head off to a war zone, Bernie took time to make sure she would look after herself if she were poorly and it makes her heart swell with love and pride.

She eats the soup and it’s almost as good as it is when it’s freshly made. And then she falls asleep, thinking only of her wonderful, amazing, thoughtful and, most of all, brave soldier!

She does indeed have to ring in sick for the next three days, stupid flu! It’s only on the fourth day of feeling poorly that she can finally keep her eyes open for long enough without getting a headache to write Bernie a bluey in reply deciding it’s definitely time for another handwritten letter.

Dear Bernie,

You are incredible, amazing and selfless. I simply have no other words. How I ever got so lucky as for you to fall in love with me I will never know! To answer your question, your soup tastes almost as good in its post-frozen form. I definitely missed the kiss on my forehead though. You’ve probably guessed by now I’ve been poorly, but before you worry, I’m doing much better now. I took the days off work that I needed, and I feel well enough to go back tomorrow. I have two days back followed by a long weekend off.

I just want to say thank you, how you managed to think of me so much whilst you were also getting ready to go out there, I just can’t comprehend, but once again, thank you. In return I thought you could do with a care package. I know it’s not the whiskey you probably really need now you’ve been gone for two months, but hopefully it’s at least a little bit of a morale boost. The jelly babies and Mars Bar are from Jason.

I’m going to sign off now so I can take a gentle stroll to the post office to send it to you.

All my love, darling

Stay safe, soldier.

Serena x

Serena finishes the letter and places it on the top of the box filled with a variety of different sweets and goodies for Bernie, from her favourite hand cream to a couple of packets of savoury noodles for those days when the ration food is basically unstomachable. It doesn’t seem like enough but it’s all Serena can do, and she only hopes it brings a smile to Bernie’s face.

#Open When #Berena #Bernie Wolfe #Serena Campbell #Berena Fanfic #Holby #Holby City #Buckle Fandom #Madam Wakefield Writes #Berena Fanfiction #Berena FF #Holby Fanfic #Holby FF #Holby Fanfiction #Holby City Fanfic #Holby City FF #Campwolfe

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bitchenware · 2 years

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tldr; i love you all

i would just like to say that though i've kind of fallen of tumblr the last couple of years it warms my heart so much to see so many of the same people in the berena tag, that we've all hung on so long for that final, beautiful, absolute masterpiece of a berena gays on the roof scene and i wish you all a very holby better give us a berena wedding before it ends

#berena #the good ship berena #bernie wolfe #serena campbell #campwolfe #gays on the roof

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brokensmyl24 · 4 years

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BERENA/McKenzieDawson

#bernie wolfe #jemma redgrave #holby city #berena #campwolfe #serena campbell #catherine russell #berenadeservedbetter #caroline and kate #last tango in halifax #nina sosanya #caroline #sarah lancashire #kate

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alphabet-mafietta · 5 years

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BBC: Hey Queer girls?!

Queers: Yeah?

BBC: ...

BBC: Hey Queer girls?!

Queers: Yeah?

BBC: ....

Queers: ...

BBC: ...

BBC: We only have the budget for one Redgrave and she’s contacted to narrate Call The Midwife until at least Series 30 so...

Queers: ....

#berena #holby city #bernie wolfe #bbc holby #serena campbell #jemma redgrave #catherine russell #campwolfe #doctor who #u.n.i.t.#kate lethbridge stewart #bbc doctor who

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sorcieres-witches · 5 years

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Berena feels. I thought I was mature about their breakup, never complained, understood why they did it, accepted the canon, said I could live with fanfics.... But now as I try to update a fic, it hits me hard. Especially HOW it happened. Oh, how I miss them!

#berena #Bernie Wolfe #Serena Campbell #campwolfe

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riversongau · 5 years

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Profile pic fanart by mcDawson - used with permission and my thanks

#berniewolf #serena campbell #berena #berenadeservedbetter #bbc holby #campwolfe

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camp-wolfe · 5 years

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I'm genuinely in bits. I need resuscitating. Someone cheer me up 😢

#holby city #berena #bernie wolfe #serena campbell #bbc holby #catherine russell #jemma redgrave #buckle fandom #bmam #serena campball #berenice griselda wolfe #big macho army medic #campwolfe #i just want bernie and serena to be reunited

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mammamias · 6 years

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oh, home, let me come home, h o m e is wherever i’m with you.

#holby city #berena #bernie wolfe #serena campbell #campwolfe #*mine #back on my berena bullshit obviously #lets just pretend that this was the whole episode #and they just spent an entire hour wrapped in each others arms lol

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moandkatelive · 6 years

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Ok I never thought I would say this - but I’m all about credit where credit is due......

Somehow - the Holby showrunner and the writers have managed in two episodes to actually FIX Berena I used to call it Campwolfe but since I still don’t really go there I suppose I don’t have the right to beat that particular drum - like actually fix it in a sensitive, funny, wistful, and ultimately real kind of way.

One of the things that pained me so greatly about the back half of last year’s Berena storyline was how dour it became, how awful Serena was to Bernie and to Jasmine but that’s a whole other post that I don’t think I’ll write because I’m out and how the writers could not for love nor money seem to show two mid life women in love with one another without injecting great dollops of tragedy. This is also simply my opinion and I don’t mean to dump a pile of negative rubbish on anyone who liked the story or has hung in all this time with Berena because it is their ride or die. That’s why I’ve been largely not here because let’s face it if something makes you sad then you should just get the fuck out instead of sticking around and bringing everyone else down with you. That’s just a dick move.

But the writers have crafted Serena and Bernie’s story (and the lead up to these two episodes) with such exquisite deftness. Suddenly I felt like I was watching the Bernie and Serena from the lead up to that first kiss on the floor in theatre. They’re all smiles and tentative but gloriously happy and there’s banter and life and death and surgery -and like a gossamer thread all the way through those long, lingering looks at one another.

The writers have made them real, three dimensional older women in love with one another. They’ve got a real issue to deal with - long distance relationship, how to choose one another or choose family. What and who are family? The episodes were richly layered and brought out the insecurities and strengths of both of these characters that we’ve come to know and love and yet even through the fear and the arguments there was romance and lightness and laughter and never once, as the viewer, did I think that they wouldn’t be able to come to some sort of compromise (even if it broke ours and their hearts) or that they wouldn’t treat one another with anything other than complete love and honesty and trust.

The injection of Fleur flirting with Serena was genius. It provided incredible comic relief and a foil for Bernie and in one fell swoop gave us another canon gay (bi?? do we know if she’s gay? does it matter?) woman at Holby and she’s not 17 and a half. She’s also in mid life. It’s genius really. The whole “Bernie’s jealous” story played out exactly how soaps play that trope with the woman and her long distance boyfriend and he’s jealous about the other bloke. How refreshing is that?

So in closing I just want to say a big shout out to all of you Berena fans who made Berena your ride or die - for whatever reasons that you did. I couldn’t do that but I’m so beyond happy for you that instead of a big pile of steaming yak poo tragedy that you got the happiest resolution to theses eps you could possibly have hoped for given the fact that JR is only going to be popping in to film the occasional episode.

Looking back over this - apparently I have a few more feels about these two than I had thought. I might even be able to pull out my Campwolfe Trucker hat from the back of the wardrobe after all.

Enjoy everything in all it’s glory. You guys have waited long enough for it!

#berena #campwolfe #serena campbell #bernie wolfe #BMAM is back #I never thought I would say this #but they managed to fix it #like I'm still salty about the entire back half of last year #but this is a new year #and a new era #and these two episodes were absolutely lovely #and that scene in the goddamn hallway #stab me in the heart with the parallel why don't you #thanks holby for that #also for the love of god this is how you do grief and recovery #this is how you do grief and consolation #also serena wasn't drunk #and I'm sorry but goddamnit that little baby IS her grandchild #I sincerely hope that holby keeps these two together #for a little while longer at least #and if they finally do part ways #that it's done as beautifully and sensitively as this episode #also FLEUR FANSHAW #SEND HELP #don't shoot me #but if like in a parallel universe bernie didn't exist at all #i'm shipping trash #**dodges dictionaries being chucked at my head from the fandom**#I'm just saying she is fine #and who wouldn't be in love with Serena

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berenaadvent · 5 months

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2 Days to go

So the blank advent calendar will be posted tomorrow and then the day after the first prompt will be posted! Just wanted to remind you of all things.

Prompts will be posted at 9am, there will be the calendar and the definition version in two separate posts.

Please tag anything you create for the Berena Advent with 2 tags Berena Advent 2023 Berena Advent [daily prompt] (without the brackets)

Work does not just need to be fanfiction it can be anything!

I will post a roundup but this may not be at the end of each day due to other commitments. If you believe what you have created is missing please drop me a message and I can add it.

If you are posting your work only on ff/a03 please send me the links for these so I can include them in round-ups.

I have created a collection on A03 if you want to add your works to that if you post them there (this is not required)

#Berena Advent 2023 #Berena Advent #Berena #Bernie Wolfe #Serena Campbell #Campwolfe

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slbrigzi19 · 5 years

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Bernie and Serena (Berena)

Holby City

23rd February 2016- 11th December 2018

One of the greatest same sex couples ever to have graced our TV screens came to a sad end this evening as Bernie Wolfe and Serena Campbell parted ways for the final time.

The coupling brought together a community that has become a family. It has brought together women from all over the world and has had such an impact on so many.

We owe our thanks to Jemma Redgrave and Catherine Russell who brought this amazing pairing to life.

Berena will never be forgotten.

Goodbye and Thank You

R.I.P Berena

23/2/16- 11/12/18

#holby city #berena #bernie and serena #bernie wolfe #serena campbell #jemma redgrave #serena and bernie #campwolfe #catherine russell #goodbye and thank you #goodbye bernie

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madam-wakefield · 5 months

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Open when...Chapter 8

AO3 Link FF Link

Summary:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 When a few years into their relationship Bernie is asked to go back to the army and deploy Serena isn't sure how she's going to get through the nine months without her girlfriend. What she doesn't expect is for it to be her girlfriend who has the perfect set of surprises to get her through both the best and the worst days. Canon divergent - Elinor lives (well actually the accident never happens), Raf lives, and Cameron isn't a total ass! The staff of AAU also probably didn't all work on there at the same time in canon but do in this! The fic is already fully written with the first few chapters having already been Beta'd. 27 chapters including the epilogue. Hoping to post every Monday and Friday!

Open when you miss me…

Serena finds the week following her birthday strange. No matter what she does, no matter how busy she keeps herself, she can’t help but miss Bernie. She tries to focus on the spa weekend she has coming up with Elinor, the one Bernie booked her for her birthday, but even that reminds her of Bernie.

She thinks it might have something to do with the darker and colder evenings. This time last year would have found the two of them snuggled up on the sofa together under the thick woollen blanket when they were both at home at the same time. Bernie would make them both hot chocolate, a bit of a speciality of hers and even though Serena has tried she just can’t make it taste the same.

The emptiness she’s felt ever since Bernie went away feels like a chasm right now, and she isn’t sure what will make it better. She might feel better if Bernie was coming home any time soon but she still has almost seven months until Bernie comes home.

She tries to keep herself busy with work and keeping Jason company but it just isn’t enough. In the end she decides that she’s going to have to break out the Open When You Miss Me… envelope from Bernie. She was hoping to save it, knowing that she still has a long time to go, but a week of trying hasn’t helped so maybe it is the right time to open it.

Serena extracts the envelope from her work bag. She’d placed it in there just in case, taken to carrying it around for when she needed to open it. She sits on the sofa, wrapping herself in the thick woollen blanket that she has so often shared with Bernie and begins to read.

My Dearest Serena

I know you will be missing me like crazy, so I assume this may be one of the first letters you open, though knowing you maybe not. Maybe you’ll try and save it just in case there is a time when you miss me even more than you did. I know how lonely you find it when we work different shifts in the hospital and seem to miss each other for a while, so I know that this extended period of time will be so much worse for you. I apologise that I can’t just drop everything and be there with you. I apologise that at times it must feel like I have abandoned you. Most of all I want to apologise for the fact that I cannot be by your side every day no matter how much we both want that.

You know even without me telling you that I miss you immeasurably too. I miss you every minute, every hour, every day and every night that we are apart. I miss seeing your beautiful smile and instantly being able to smile back at you. I miss the way you stroke your fingers through my messy hair as if you feel lost without having it to stroke. I miss being able to just reach my hand out and have you link our fingers together when we go on our walks. I miss being able to grab your bum, instigating that perfect little squeak from your lips. I miss the way you pull me towards you when we cuddle as if you just need me that little bit closer, the way that I can tell you never want to let go no matter what. I miss being able to tenderly kiss your nose, cheeks, forehead and just being able to show you all my love and affection. I miss being able to sneak up behind you and hug you from behind, the way my body fits so perfectly against yours as if we were just made for each other. I miss being able to comfort you with gentle kisses and hugs that you just can’t get enough of. I miss the taste of your lipstick that lingers, even hours after we last kissed. I miss looking up and seeing you sitting across the office from me. I miss being able to look at you while I perform surgery and seeing that look from you that shows me you trust me, reminds me that I am making the right decision. No matter how busy I am, I know that some part of me always misses you.

I know you can’t just pick up the phone and tell me that you need me but please send me a e-bluey to let me know that you need me, and I’ll do my best to call you as swiftly as I can. I love you so much, I may not always be the best girlfriend in the world, I may not be the best at expressing my feelings and especially not in writing, but I have poured all my love and emotion into this letter in the hope that it makes you feel just a little bit better. In the hope you know that you aren’t alone and that we will get through this together. I miss you and love you always.

All My Love, Bernie,

Your Big Macho Army Medic x

She comes to the end of the letter, and at first, she expects to feel worse, the letter reminding her of even more things she misses about Bernie. But then she realises it hasn’t. It has made her feel better, because she isn’t alone in this. The feeling she is experiencing is mutual and Bernie feels it for her too and if she didn’t miss Bernie, then that would be a problem. The fact they miss each other so much shows just how much they care for and love one another.

She does what’s asked and composes Bernie a e-bluey in reply, short and simple.

Dear Bernie

I miss you!

All my love, darling

Stay safe, soldier.

Serena x

She knows when Bernie receives it, whether that is in three days or a week, that Bernie will understand what she needs.

#Open When #Berena #Bernie Wolfe #Serena Campbell #Berena Fanfiction #Holby #Holby City #Buckle Fandom #Madam Wakefield Writes #Berena Fanfic #Berena FF #Holby City Fanfic #Holby City FF #Holby City Fanfiction #Holby Fanfic #Holby FF #Holby Fanfiction #Campwolfe

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