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Family Matters - Calum

Summary: “Put a baby in me.” That’s the line I said in my dream w Calum Hood the other night. So i wrote it - enjoyyyyyyyyy

Warnings: Talk of kids, sex reference, pregnancy mentions. 

Rating: PG-16

You’d been keeping the day rather laid back, doing some household chores here and there and waiting for your boyfriend to return from his writing session with the other three lunatics that were his band mates. The day had been beyond dull, and aside from taking Duke to the groomer, it was pretty typical. So when Calum came into the house around 5:15 - right on time - it wasn’t surprising. You were in the kitchen, starting on dinner as he comes up with his arms wrapped around you and pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Hi baby. How was your day?” You ask with ease, unmoving from chopping the ingredients in front of you.

“We finished up the first song for the fifth album and we started on the fourth one. It’s exciting stuff. You should stop by sometime and listen in.” He suggests, pulling away to move to the fridge, grabbing a beer and cracking it open before leaning against the counter, watching you work. “Yeah, maybe. I’ll have to see what tomorrow is looking like.” You shrug, moving the vegetables into a pan as he snickers. 

“Don’t you find yourself doing the same thing every day?” He questions with a slight head tilt. He’s not wrong. Every other day changed, tomorrow was a workout day and lunch with someone you set up with and laundry and a Soul Cycle class. It was... repetitive to say the least. “I mean... don’t you?” He gives a nod as he finishes a sip of his drink. “Going to studio, writing, recording and coming back after everything, doing a workout, watching a movie and going to bed sounds pretty standard if you ask me.” 

The two of you find a comfortable silence only before Calum moves to his office to take a phone call. You scroll through Instagram as you sauté the start of your meal. You see dogs, clothes, ads for another product you didn’t need, another wedding you weren’t invited to and the cutest baby photos. You linger on the post, admiring the cute decor in the nursery, the clothes and the wide grin on the child’s face. 

Both of you had always wanted kids. It was on the radar, but life wasn’t lining up for that right now. After the craziness of the past year, and things finally getting back to normal, you were easing back into routine. You’d thought that maybe you needed to wait a while... but what if you didn’t need to?

Dinner came and went without a hitch. It was well received and the two of you cleaned up so you could watch the next episode of your current binge. Snuggling into the couch with Duke at your feet, Calum on your left, you start the next episode, seeing your boyfriend snickering at something that came up on Snapchat. You ignore him, curling into him as you watch the TV. 

About halfway through the second episode, you’re on your phone again, Cal paying attention to what’s going on. You’ve lost interest by now, and throw your just as boring phone onto a pillow beside you. You watch his face and see how invested he is at what’s on the television. “Hon.” A whisper leaves you, and his head turns just slightly, not enough to fully face you, but enough to indicate he’s listening. “You tired of this yet?” He shakes his head, facing the screen again, letting you wrap your arms around his middle, one of your hands sliding across the skin of his stomach under his t-shirt. “Ok, well I am.” A sigh leaves him and he pauses the show, turning to look at you. 

“And what do you suggest we do instead? It’s not like you’ll play FIFA with me.” He teases, leaning into the couch, a hand on your back gently moving up and down. You get an idea and smirk at him. He matches it before laughing. “What?” You sit up, moving closer and lean into him so your lips are against his ear. 

“You could put a baby in me...” Your fingers are trailing along the bare skin poking out from his sweater, lips beginning to trail down his jaw. You feel him tense next to you, the hand on your back freezing, fingers gripping the fabric of your shirt. 

“You- you’re kidding.” He can barely get the words out of his mouth, looking at you with surprise. “I mean - I’m not going to turn down the offer - but you’re... serious with that?”

“Well.. yeah. We’ve talked about it before - and we both have such a dull day to day now... we could change it up. For the next 18 years.” You taunt, leaning back as your hand finds the back of his neck, fingers slowly drifting through dark curls. “Babe... that’s... a big commitment. We sure this is what we wanna do?” He’s letting his hand start to move against your lower back again, much slower this time. “It might not even happen the first time... but... you’ll never know if you don’t try.” A small smirk fills your features, a devilish one matching the male’s features. 

“This was your idea. Just reminding you.” He laughs before he pulls you in for a heated kiss that starts a whole series of less boring nights.

Too Hard To Forget

Chapter Eight

5,082 words

A/N: evenin’ angels, pls enjoy - the second-last smol chapter of fluffiness basically but also swearing and sadness and death sorry love y’all

Requested: I added a lil scene at the beginning for anon who wanted a reunion between Parker and Gram, the chapter was already written so I had to tweak it a lil. Hope it turned out okay, anon! thank you for the ask <3 

» » » » » »

When Calum woke up the following morning, it took his brain a split second to register that Parker laying in his bed was real and not just a fever dream. His mind played through the events of the night before, his body tingling from all the places Parker had left her mark on him. They hadn’t gone to sleep until past four in the morning, so he wasn’t surprised to read 11:47 on the clock on his bedside table. Calum absently dragged his finger back and forth over Parker’s upper arm, watching goosebumps rise in its wake.

She stirred, blinking her eyes and lifting her head to stare up at him. He smiled down at her. “Mornin’ angel,” he rasped.

“Still the King of waking me up before I’m ready, I see,” she mumbled, smiling sleepily.

“Couldn’t help myself,” he shrugged. “I’ve missed you.”

Parker answered his confession with a press of her lips against his. “Any big plans today?” she asked him.

“Lunch plans with Gram, but other than that, I’m all yours,” he answered. “You can come if you like,” he suggested. “It’s been a while.”

• • • • • •

After a shower and a quick stop at Parker’s to change her clothes, Calum pulled the Charger into Gram’s driveway, cutting the engine.

Parker pushed down the uneasy feeling in her stomach. I’m nervous. Should I be nervous? She asked herself. She wasn’t sure why she felt nervous – the break-up was Calum’s idea, but still she felt weird about showing up uninvited at Grace’s house after sleeping in her grandson’s bed only a few hours after breaking up with her ex-boyfriend. She followed Calum up the steps, standing one step behind him as he knocked twice and pushed the door open.

“Gram?” he called out, shucking off his boots and ushering Parker inside.

“In the kitchen, dear!”

Calum grinned at Parker, guiding her through the kitchen door in front of him. “I found a stray.”

Gram turned around, gasping when she recognized Parker. Her face split into the warmest smile and she rushed over. Parker was surprised at the old woman’s strength, she was hugging her so tightly. “Parker, it’s so good to see you!”

All of Parker’s nerves melted away as she relaxed in Grace’s grip, hugging her back. “I missed you, Grace.”

Grace and Parker chatted over lunch, leaving very little room in the conversation for Calum to join in, which suited him fine – he was just happy to have the two loves of his life in the same room again.

“Calum, dear, I think the tap in my bathroom is leaking again. Could you take a look at it for me?” Gram asked Calum sweetly.

“Sure thing, pretty lady,” he replied as he disappeared into the garage to get some tools.

As soon as he was out of the room, Grace took Parker’s hand. “I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that you two worked things out,” she beamed.

“We haven’t really talked about it yet," Parker started. “We only talked a little bit yesterday, and it was mostly just catching up,” she admitted.

“There’s lots to catch up on, I’m sure,” Grace winked, and Parker laughed. “But I know you two. There’s nothing in this world that could keep you apart. That boy loves you more than the sun and the stars, and he is never going to let you go.”

“I don’t know, Grace. He was so willing to give up last time. What happens next time when things get hard, and he tries to run away again?” It was a thought that had plagued Parker’s mind since her reunion with Calum, despite his efforts to reassure her that he was wrong and he wouldn’t make the same mistake again. She wanted to believe him, but he had hurt her and she didn’t want to go through that again.

Grace wore a sympathetic smile. “I know it must feel scary to let him in again, after what he did,” she squeezed Parker’s hand. “But let me tell you something about Calum. He has been through hell and back in his short life, and he is very good at putting up a barrier between him and other people, so he doesn’t get hurt. He pushes everyone away because it’s easier than fighting a losing battle. You know what happened with his mother, my Lina. She never fought for Calum, and he carries that hurt in his heart every day,” Grace wiped a tear from under her eye before continuing. “He’ll never tell you this himself, so I’ll do it for him – he needs someone like you, Parker. Someone who will fight for him. He deserves all the love in the world and I know you love him. He just needs someone who won’t give up, who won’t abandon him like his mother did. He will make mistakes, and sometimes he’ll try to push you away. I promise you that if you stick with him, and you don’t give up on him, he will give you everything you ever dreamed of. He has so much to offer, and when he opens up, there is no one in this world with a bigger heart. I’m so proud of how much he’s done for himself in the last year, but nothing makes him happier than you do. He just needs to know that he deserves you.”

Parker had tears welling up in her eyes by the end of Grace’s speech. She could have tried harder when Calum left. She called, but she could have done more. She was partly to blame in all this, too. She didn’t fight for him the way she should have. She could see that now, and she promised herself, for Calum, that she would always fight for him.

Parker leaned forward, hugging Grace tightly. “I promise I’ll take care of him,” she whispered.

“I know you will, honey,” Grace smiled. “Welcome home.”

» » » » » »

Parker and Calum were getting ready to head to The Wildflower for one of Calum’s shows, and Parker was sitting on the floor, playing with Duke while she waited for Calum to get dressed. She thought back on her life over the last year, how much had changed. The first time she came over to Calum’s apartment, Duke turned his nose up at her attempt to pet him. Now, he greeted her before Calum when they came inside. She smiled as she thought about how this man had become her home, and she couldn’t imagine her life without him.

Calum came out of the bedroom, buttoning his shirt. Parker stared at the stripe of skin showing on his chest until he buttoned it all the way, then finally lifted her gaze to his face. Chocolate brown eyes, full lips, dark curls messy but effortless. It annoyed Parker, how little effort he had to put in to look as incredible as he did every day, but her heart swelled with pride at the same time. This man was hers.

“I have something for you,” he smiled, pressing a kiss to her cheek and pulling a chain out of his pocket. It was simple; silver, with an intricate key pendant hanging on the end. On the back of the key, the letter ‘C’ was engraved.

Parker smiled. It was simple and dainty—exactly something Parker would have picked out for herself. “I love it,” she whispered, pressing her lips to his. “But what’s the occasion?”

“It’s metaphorical, since you don’t actually need a key for my apartment,” he grinned.

Parker just looked at him, puzzled.

Calum rolled his eyes at her lack of understanding—it was adorable. “I want you to move in with me.”

Parker just stared at him, eyes wide. “Are you serious?”

Calum chuckled. “Of course I’m serious, love. You wanna?”

Parker threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and planting a series of little kisses to his lips. She pulled back. “Are you really sure, Cal? I drive you crazy.”

Calum laughed. “I love you, angel. I want you with me all the time. Besides, you already stay over most nights. The boys love you, Duke loves you, I can’t think of any reason why you shouldn’t.”

Parker turned, lifting her hair so Calum could fasten the chain around her neck. She turned back to him, beaming. “Okay.”

• • • • • •

When they arrived at the pub, it was quiet; not as busy as it usually was, which gave Calum a good opportunity to play some new music.

“I’ve been working on this new one, think maybe I’ll try it out tonight, if that’s alright,” he spoke into the mic. “Less of you to disappoint,” he laughed lightly, and they laughed, too. These people had become like a little family—he felt so at home here. “It’s called Waste The Night.”

The crowd went wild for his new song. John caught up to Calum as he was packing up his equipment to tell him that he had another steady gig lined up for him at a restaurant on the West end if he wanted it.

It seemed that people were hearing about his music all across town, and Calum was elated. After so many years of feeling like he’d never amount to anything, he could finally say he was living a life he was proud of.

» » » » » »

“Michael, sit still. I can’t do this if you keep flinching.”

Parker was sitting on a stool in front of Michael, applying his makeup to complete his costume. Luke and Sierra, Luke’s new girlfriend, were throwing a Halloween party and Michael had begged Parker to do his makeup, but he had been sitting there for an hour and he was getting antsy.

“You’re getting it in my eyes,” he whined.

“It’s makeup. It’s literally meant to go on your eyes. You’re being a baby,” she rolled her eyes, smiling. She had grown very close to Michael in the time she’d been with Calum. She loved all the boys, but she spent almost as much time with Michael as she did with Calum. It drove him crazy sometimes, but in the end he was just happy his brothers loved Parker as much as he did.

Calum’s life had never been better. He played music for a bunch of different venues around town and the change in scenery kept things interesting, but it always felt like coming home when he played at The Wildflower. He and Parker had been living together for almost a year, and while it had been an adjustment for him at first, as it had just been him and Duke for over five years, his place felt like home with her there.

Parker’s parents seemed to warm up to Calum, too, after realizing that their daughter was head over heels for him and he wasn’t going anywhere.

Calum came into the living room and Parker did a double take at his costume. He was dressed as Danny from Grease—very little effort, considering the only difference from his day-to-day outfit of black boots, jeans and a leather jacket was the styled hair, but he still looked good—like, really good.

“Wow,” Parker breathed, almost forgetting that Michael was sitting there as she shamelessly ogled her boyfriend. “You look amazing.”

Calum gave her a sly grin and winked at her. “Thanks, doll. Where’s your costume?”

Parker looked down at herself, still dressed in lounge shorts and an oversized tee of Calum’s. “I’m not ready yet. I’ve been preoccupied with Michael’s makeup,” she said, gesturing to her handiwork, Michael smiling proudly. He did look amazing. He wore a black and white striped suit, and Parker had dyed his blonde hair neon green for the occasion. His costume was Beetlejuice, but she wanted to do her own less messy version of the classic character, so she did a purple smokey eye and added touches of green to the sides of his face and down his neck. He looked awesome.

The front door opened and Ashton walked in, carrying a backpack full of what was probably an assortment of booze. He was dressed almost identical to Calum—he was supposed to be Kenickie, also from Grease. Parker rolled her eyes at the boys’ complete lack of effort or originality.

Calum made the four of them a drink, Michael’s sitting untouched next to him while Parker finished his face.

“There,” she said finally. “Done.”

Michael stood up and walked over to the mirror on the wall by the front door. “Holy shit, P. I look amazing!” he gasped, a grin splitting his face. He lifted his fingers to inspect his face closer.

“Don’t touch!” Parker shrieked. “It’s not dry yet, you’ll ruin it!”

Michael jumped at her shrill tone, his hand recoiling. “Yes, ma’am,” he teased.

“I’m gonna go get dressed,” she announced, standing and collecting her assortment of special effects makeup from the table next to where Michael was sitting.

The last thing Parker wanted to dress as was Sandy—she felt like the costume was way overdone, but because of Calum’s costume, she decided it would make the most sense. She pulled on a pair of tight leather pants she had borrowed from Jenna, slipped into her red peep-toes, applied a red lip and draped her shoulders with a leather jacket to finish the look.

When she came out of the bedroom, all three of the boys stopped to look at her. Ashton whistled, and Michael’s response of “P, you look hot!” earned him a punch in the gut from Calum.

Calum walked over to her, spinning her around once and admiring her. “You do look hot,” he grinned. “You wanna forget about this party?” he whispered, pressing the softest of kisses to the spot just below her ear. “I could think of a better way to spend the night.”

Parker blushed, but there was no way she was missing out on this party, no matter how good he looked.

• • • • • •

When they arrived at the party, it was already chaos. Some people Parker knew through the boys, but most of them were strangers. Luke pulled Parker in for a hug and took her hand, leading her into the kitchen where he had set up a variation of liquor bottles.

“Take your pick, babe!” he exclaimed excitedly.

The rest of the boys joined them shortly after, where Luke and Parker had already downed three shots each. As Luke was pouring them all another one, Parker noticed Sierra hugging a petite girl at the front door, who had seemingly arrived alone. She was wearing an unmistakable Lydia costume. Parker leaned over to Luke. “Who’s that girl that Sierra is talking to?” she asked curiously.

Luke glanced over to his girlfriend at the door. “Oh, that’s Crystal. One of Sierra’s friends.”

Parker flashed a wry smile, and Luke looked immediately concerned. “Oh, God, I know that look. What are you on about?”

“Oh, nothing,” Parker waved her hand casually. “Just that she happens to be here all by herself, and that she’s wearing the other half to Michael’s costume.”

It seemed Parker was not the only one who noticed the similarity, because the girl’s eyes lit up in recognition as soon as she saw Michael, and she followed Sierra as she made her way back to the group of them in the kitchen. Sierra introduced her to everyone. She was really sweet, and Michael couldn’t take his eyes off her.

“I love your costume!” he said excitedly, taking a sip of his beer.

“Thanks,” she grinned. “Your makeup looks awesome,” she added, “did you do it yourself?”

Michael choked out a laugh. “No,” he shook his head, then turned and pointed at Parker. “Parker did.”

“How come you guys don’t have matching costumes?” Crystal asked curiously.

“Me and Parker?” Michael looked confused, then his face softened as he realized what she meant. “Oh, she’s not my girlfriend,” he shook his head, and Crystal’s face brightened immediately. “More like my sister, honestly. She’s with Cal. I’m flying solo.”

Parker watched their entire interaction with the biggest smile on her face. Michael was the kindest person she knew—it was about time he met someone as sweet as he was.

Calum snapped her out of her distracted staring when he held out his hand in front of her. “Care to dance, angel?”

» » » » » »

Christmas that year was different for Calum. He always spent Christmas Eve with the boys. They usually went out for dinner and had a couple drinks before making their way back to one of their houses to exchange gifts and watch a movie or two. Then on Christmas Day he went over to Gram’s for the afternoon and she made a big dinner for just the two of them.

This year, their circle had grown by four additional people, so it made sense to have a whole celebration with everyone there. They held it on Christmas Eve so the boys could spend Christmas Day with their own families, and everyone gathered at Gram’s house.

Gram was delighted to have a whole house full of people to cook for, since the last time she had a big holiday party was when Calum’s granddad was still alive. The boys would come over periodically for dinner, but that didn’t really count. All the girls—Crystal, Sierra, Ashton’s girlfriend KayKay and Parker helped Gram in the kitchen while the boys goofed off and relaxed by the Christmas tree. When they all sat down for dinner, Gram at the head of the table, Calum looked around at all his friends, his girl, and he was so thankful that he could call these people his family. After a lifetime spent hating the world and everyone in it, his life was good, and Calum was happy.

» » » » » »

Calum was at home working on some new music at the end of February when his phone rang. An unfamiliar number flashed on the screen before Calum answered.

“Hello?”

“Hello, I’m looking for Mr. Calum Hood,” replied a voice that Calum didn’t recognize.

“This is Calum.”

“Hello, Mr. Hood, this is Dr. Schilling from Blue Cross Regional Hospital. I’m calling regarding Grace Hood.”

Calum’s mouth went dry as his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach.

“Mr. Hood, I’m afraid we need you to come down right away.”

Calum’s hands were shaking, gripping his phone so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. “Is she—what happened?” he managed to reply, voice cracking.

Parker came down the hall from the bedroom, immediately noticing Calum’s rigid posture.

“It’s difficult to discuss over the phone—”

“What happened!” he demanded, voice rising to an angry yell.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Hood. She passed away.”

The phone slipped out of his hand, clattering to the floor. Calum slid to his knees, fingers tugging on his hair as he rocked back and forth on his heels. He didn’t make a sound. He couldn’t breathe—he felt like the air had been sucked out of his lungs, gasping for air as he tried to breathe in deeply. Parker ran over, dropping to her knees in front of him and putting her hands on his shoulders.

“Calum! Calum, what happened?”

He said nothing as she shook him frantically, trying to get him to answer.

Finally, he looked up at her, his eyes glassy and tears pooling in his eyes and falling down his cheeks. “She’s gone,” he choked out.

“No,” Parker leaned back, shaking her head. Her eyes filled with tears, too. “No, she can’t be.”

“She's gone,” he whispered again.

And then his body shook violently, tears escaping as he sobbed, and Parker cried too, holding him, trying to comfort him while he mourned the loss of the only family he had. Grace was the most important thing in his life, and just like that, she was gone. Parker’s heart shattered into a million pieces as she watched the man she loved crumble in front of her.

• • • • • •

When he was sure he had no tears left to cry, Calum stood, eyes red and swollen, the sleeves of his sweater soaked with tears. “We need to go,” he said, voice thick and scratchy from crying. “We have to go to the hospital.”

The drive to the hospital was a blur—Parker didn’t really even remember getting there. She remembered calling Michael in a daze, telling him what happened before hanging up and letting him deal with telling Ashton and Luke. She remembered sitting with Calum in the waiting room for the doctor that called him. She remembered what the doctor told her—that she had a sudden heart attack, likely resulting from her head injury and there was nothing that could have been done. Grace’s neighbour called an ambulance but she was gone before she even made it to the hospital. Parker remembered walking with her hand firmly clasped in Calum’s as they entered the room that Gram was in, her body covered with a sheet.

Calum sucked in a breath, stopping at the door.

Parker stepped in front of him, blocking his view of the room. “You don’t have to see her,” she told him, cupping his face in her hands. “You don’t have to remember her like this.” She spoke calmly, though she felt anything but.

Calum shook his head. “No,” he sniffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve. “I have to.” It sounded more like he was convincing himself than anyone else.

Parker nodded and grasped his hand, holding tight as she walked with him to the bed.

“Can—can you—”

Parker nodded. She lifted the corner of the sheet, pulling it back slowly to reveal Grace’s face and upper body. She looked peaceful, like she was sleeping, but Calum and Parker both knew she wasn’t.

Calum’s resolve broke again, and the tears streamed down his face as he reached out slowly to touch her. He touched her hand, and it wasn’t warm like it usually was. He crouched down, body shaking with silent sobs as he rested his head on the bed next to the woman who raised him.

“I’m so sorry, Gram,” he choked, over and over. “I’m sorry.”

Parker just stood there behind him, helpless, rubbing his back in a futile attempt to calm him down, but she was crying, too.

After a while he stood, and he hugged Parker tightly, as if he was afraid she'd disappear if he let go. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, and she just held him while he cried.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” she whispered, sliding her hands up the back of his hoodie and rubbing soothing circles on his lower back.

She looked out the window of the room, seeing Michael, Luke and Ashton standing there with somber expressions on their faces.

“The boys are here,” Parker whispered.

Calum lifted his head, wiping his eyes. “Thanks for calling them.”

She followed behind him as he joined his brothers outside the room, the four of them coming together in a hug, comforting each other. Gram wasn’t just Calum’s family—she was all of theirs.

• • • • • •

Parker decided to take some time off work to be with Calum after Gram’s death. The night he got the call, Calum tossed and turned all night. Parker woke up in the middle of the night and found Calum gone. She got out of bed and went out into the living room, seeing him out on the balcony having a cigarette. She wrapped her arm around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder. He was silent for a few minutes, then he finally spoke. “Go back to bed, angel,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head. “I’m gonna have another smoke.”

The next morning, Parker woke, still alone. She wasn’t sure if Calum had come back to bed or if he stayed in the living room the rest of the night, but he was already awake. She sat up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Duke was asleep on Calum’s side of the bed, and Loki was sleeping in his tree by their bedroom window. She rolled over, careful not to disturb Duke, and climbed out of bed. As she stood, she heard a loud crash from the living room, making her jump. This jolted Duke awake, his ears down and shoulders hunched from being startled, and Loki jumped off his tree and skirted under the bed. Parker heard another loud bang, followed by a third, all accompanied by Calum cursing loudly.

“Fuck!” she heard him yell, and she ran down the hall as she continued to hear the sound of smashing glass. She stopped in her tracks when she took in the sight of the living room—there were shards everywhere. The coffee table had been upturned, a large crack in the center, and several vases and picture frames were littered on the floor, a fine dusting of glass shards spanning from the entrance of the hallway where Parker stood, all the way through the kitchen and to the front door.

Calum stood in the middle of the room in nothing but a pair of sweats, his feet bare, hands laced behind his head as he looked down. She could hear him incoherently mumbling to himself, but she couldn’t make out what he was saying. She retreated back into the bedroom, quickly grabbing a pair of slippers and putting them on before closing the door to prevent their pets from walking through the glass.

She made her way over to him slowly, walking carefully over the glass. It was then that she noticed three large holes in the drywall, dust and blood covering the knuckles on Calum’s right hand.

“Baby,” Parker whispered. “What happened?” she asked stupidly, regretting her question as soon as it left her lips. She knew what happened, obviously. He was angry, and he took it out in the only way he felt could give him control.

“I should have been there,” he muttered. “I should have been with her,” he said as he finally looked up, and his eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot.

“Cal, there’s nothing you could have done. It was a heart attack. There was nothing anyone could have done to save her.”

“But she was alone,” he sniffed. “I should have been with her. She shouldn’t even have been living alone. I haven’t seen her since last Friday. We were supposed to have lunch on Wednesday afternoon, and I bailed ‘cause I wasn’t feeling good. The last time I talked to her was to cancel plans, and now I’m never going to see her again.”

If Parker’s heart hadn’t already broken yesterday, it was definitely broken now. Calum carried so much on his shoulders, and now he blamed himself for Gram’s death.

“It’s not your fault, baby,” Parker whispered. Calum ignored her. She grabbed his face, forcing him to look at her. “This wasn’t your fault. And she loved you. And she knew how much you loved her. You didn’t let her down. She was so proud of you.”

“I can’t believe she’s gone,” he whispered, shaking his head. He seemed to just notice all the glass all over the floor. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” he cursed, inspecting her to make sure she wasn’t cut anywhere. His eyes widened in sudden alarm. “Where are the boys?” he asked, thinking of Duke and Loki. “Fuck, I’m so stupid, I wasn’t thinking,” he muttered, taking in the state of the living room.

“They’re fine. I locked them in the bedroom,” she assured him. “Come on, let’s get this cleaned up and then I can draw you a bath,” she suggested, knowing how Calum liked to relax in a hot bath when he had a shitty day.

He nodded. “I’m sorry, angel. This was reckless. I could have hurt you.”

Parker shook her head. “It’s okay, I’m fine,” she promised him, but he didn’t seem satisfied.

“I just got so angry. At myself, at everything.”

Parker nodded. “I know, baby,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his bare torso and holding him tight. She lifted his right hand to her lips, pressing gentle kisses to his bleeding knuckles.

Calum swept up the glass while Parker righted the coffee table and picked up all the broken picture frames. She followed him with the vacuum, cleaning up all the tiny shards of glass he missed until they were sure it was safe for Duke and Loki to come out.

Once everything was cleaned up, Parker drew a bath for Calum and lit some candles, adding a lavender bath bomb to the tub.

She went out into the living room to tell him that the bath was ready, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you, angel,” he stood, kissing her forehead and heading into the bathroom, leaving the door open as he always did.

A few seconds later, Parker heard him calling for her. When she entered the bathroom, he was standing next to the tub, naked.

“Get in with me,” he gestured to the tub with a nod of his head. He didn’t mean it in a sexual way at all, he just needed to be close to her. Calum moved to where Parker stood, lifting her shirt over her head, sliding her sweats down and discarding them both next to his own. He got in first, leaning against the back of the tub before holding his hand out for her to step in. She settled in between his legs, resting her head in the space between his head and his shoulder. Calum wrapped his arms around her, his hands folded and resting on her stomach. They lay like that for a while, letting the hot water warm their skin, the smell of lavender relaxing them.

Finally, Calum broke their silence. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you, you know,” he murmured. “More than I ever thought I would be capable of.”

Parker’s insides melted, and it wasn’t due to the hot water. She lifted one of his hands, pressing a kiss to his palm. “I love you, too, Cal.”

Even though losing Gram had turned his world upside down, he knew things would be okay again, as long as Parker was by his side.

taglist: @treatallwithkindness @oopsiedoopsie23 @tunnnelvision @wildflower-mmr @crazytarotanon

*pokes fingers together* If you take promts, I'm not sure if this has been done before but what about reader getting a semi-serious injury so they're out of action for a while (like lightsaber holding wrist/arm/etc) but they are restless and want to get back into practicing and battling really quick, pushing themselves and of course Cal is there to make sure they... don't. XD Taking care of them, refusing practice until they are fully healed and such. Well, only if you like the idea ofc~ :3

I think I’ve done something similar to this but only for a minor wound, so this time you’re the one with the major wound prompt hehe ^w^ Sorry if it’s a bit too short, but I hope you’d still like this! 💕

“Just A Scratch” | Cal Kestis x Reader

Masterlist

The quaint settlement town in Lothal is disturbed by the hot pursuit of two Jedi. The speeder bikes zoomed past the denizens, shifting left and right to catch up with the Jedi taking the sharp turns around the curb.

“Stop there! Insurgents!” the patrol trooper taking the lead barked.

“This way, hurry!” Cal snatched you by the arm and made a blind turn to the alley.

Squeezing yourselves in that narrow annex, Cal waited and listened for the sound of the speeder’s engine receding. You slowly peeked your head over the wall and surveyed the street left and right.

“Are they gone?” Cal mumbled.

“I think so,”

You emerged out of that tight fit and scanned again for good measure. Cal followed when you confirmed that the coast is clear. The two of you headed to the direction you intended to go. As you sprinted through the streets, both of you were watchful on the turns and curbs along the way—presuming that there’d be a Stormtrooper or two waiting for you.

Cal scraped his boots against the road when he spotted a couple of Stormtroopers coming out of the curb ahead of you.

“Nope! This way, this way!” he whispered, snatching you by the wrist and dragging you to the alleyway directly beside him.

This whole pursuit is happening in this maze of a town. It’s amazing that Lothalites are able to navigate their way through such a complicated layout. After one wrong turn, you ended up getting spotted by a group of three guards—one on a speeder and two Stormtroopers.

“I found the insurgents! They’re in the western alley at Block 8C!” the Stormtrooper radioed and aimed his blaster at you.

“Oh crud, RUN!!” you screeched and turned the other way.

The two of you easily deflected the Stormtroopers’ shots but are now in pursuit of another patrol trooper—this one wasn’t even riding the scooter-like model, the one he drove was the kind of speeder bike armed with blaster cannons.

After a while of sprinting, Cal noticed that the sound of the speeder bike has receded.

“Is he still on us?!” Cal asked.

“I don’t even wanna look back!”

In your collective periphery, the trooper has made himself quite resourceful with the environment—he slid up a toppled awning that led him to the rooftops as he continued the chase, he really hit the pedal to the metal with his bike until he’s gotten ahead of you. The two of you watched his entire stunt as you ran.

“What is he doing!?” you squealed.

The biker patroller jumped off a rooftop when he got to a considerable distance ahead of you—that was his plan all along: he meant to cut off your path by going on ahead and stopping you there.  You hate to admit that the trooper was good driver and a daredevil nonetheless.

He had his speeder bike idled on one end of the road while the two of you stood at the other.

With the press of a button on the dashboard, the barrels of the cannons whirred and aimed at the general direction of his enemy, the trooper’s thumb rested on the trigger, it trembled with eagerness as he peered through the black visor of his helmet.

The Jedi couple unclipped their sabers from their belts.

Promptly, the trooper pressed the button, releasing two simultaneous shots from the cannons. Compared to typical handheld blasters, projectiles from vehicle cannons were much trickier to deflect and required more precision. Your eagle eye spotted the barrel of the cannon pointing at Cal and the trooper was lowering his thumb to the red button.

“CAL, WATCH OUT!!”

You shouldered Cal out of the line of fire. In exchange, your dodge got lousy and the thick, red projectile had cut through your sleeve, gravely injuring your bicep. A mixture of clear liquid and hot blood trickled smoothly down on your skin. The pain was so sharp and abrupt that the fingers that curled around your lightsaber rendered completely limp. The burning sensation made you fumble to your knees.

“[Y/N]!!”

Cal quickly dragged you out of the scene, keeping you cover behind a stack of crates before facing the trooper.

The biker sped straight ahead, closing its distance from the Jedi; in the blink of an eye, when the vehicle was just neck-and-neck with Cal, he severed the two-pronged front and the blaster cannons with his saber until the vehicle spun out of control and then crashed into another incoming biker scout.

He watched the enemies and their vehicles reduced to shrapnel and flames as he took deep breaths. He immediately turned his attention to you. You struggle to take slow, rhythmic breaths while easing yourself from the pain. Cal slowly removed your other hand that’s been pressuring on the wound to stop the bleeding. You winced and breathed through clenched teeth when he separated your hand from the injury, blood and water curdled under your hand until it became a sticky mixture to make your palm appear glued to the flesh wound.

“BD, stim!”

“B-Boo!!”

BD-1 popped out a single stim from his container and Cal injected the bright green syringe on your shoulder. You winced at the quick jab of the needle as the substance entered your body.

“Aww God, I can’t feel it,” you moaned.

“The stim?”

“No, my arm,”

“Come on, I’ll help you up,”

Cal made a crutch out of himself for you as he helped you hobble your way back to the outskirts of the town where the Mantis is.

Even though Cere wasn’t surprised anymore to see either of you coming home with a scratch, she always gives that stern, motherly look at both of you when she greets you by the door or at the couch.

“Just a scratch!” you scoffed smugly at her.

“That’s one hell of a scratch, if you ask me,”

“Nothing a little bacta can fix,” you winked as Cal shepherded you to the bedroom.

“Alright, alright, let’s get you cleaned and patched up!”

He helped you remove your top which now has a large gash on the sleeve, revealing the flesh wound with dried blood smeared on its radius.

“Thing of beauty, isn’t it?” you blurted jokingly.

“I’m glad the trooper didn’t hit your funny bone,” he chuckled back. “Wait here, I’ll just get some water.”

For the next minute, you stared at the flesh wound. The clear liquid clumped and dried, turning into a slight yellow color, you carefully plucked out the fibers that adhered to the surface of the injury. The sound of the bathroom door shut and Cal returned to the room.

“Don’t pick at it,” he lectured.

“It’s just the threads of my shirt,”

He soaked then wrung a towel in the bowl of water he collected from the bathroom, gingerly wiping off the dried blood and then daubing the wound itself. One of the things you loved about Cal is how gentle his hands were—for a scrapper, no less.

“I guess I owe you one,”

“It’s nothing, Cal,”

“No, really,” he looked at you with sincerity in his clear, green eyes. “Thank you. I don’t know how you do it but you’re always saving my life.”

“You’re welcome,” you leaned closer to kiss him on the forehead.

The cycle repeated: soak, wring, and dab. When it was finally clean, he cut a strip of bacta—long enough to ring around your arm—and secured it with its adhesive.

“There, all patched up. You’re not gonna use that lightsaber for a few days,”

“So… I’m out of action for now?” Cal replied with a nod and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Don’t get any funny ideas unless you want your other arm hurt,”

You sighed in defeat. There was no more room for argument. Cal playfully touched the tip of your nose, consoling you with a cheek kiss before leaving the room to return the materials. Simply reaching for your saber became a struggling, as the slightest turn strained your arm and—albeit limp—it felt heavy. To make the numbness go away, you flexed your fingers, opening and closing your fist at a pace, though you found it hard to maintain your usual grip.

You practiced the grip exercises on one of the tools sitting on the workbench. You practiced gripping on a wrench—starting off softly, you gradually progressed to the usual tightness of your grip but your fingers felt numb as well. Frustrated, you dropped the tool and sat back on the bed—and Cal had spotted you trying to regain your grip.

“Look, I know it’s hard right now, but trying to practice on anything isn’t a good idea right now,”

You grumbled something indistinct, Cal held your cheeks and then smothered your face with kisses. He took you out of the room so you could join everyone for lunch.

That afternoon, everyone lazed inside the ship—except for you, of course. You snuck out of the ship, tiptoeing past the cockpit—luckily, Merrin had her back turned when facing the holotable—and you hit the button as quietly as you could. You slipped past the door, finally, and the soles of your boots found the grass.

It looked and felt awkward, but you unclipped your saber with your left hand—which you aren’t obviously used to—and did some handling practice with it unignited.

“Okay, so far, so good. Could never go wrong with basic spins,” you tell yourself.

You thought that igniting then wielding it in a non-dominant arm is the stupidest thing that ever crossed your action-desperate mind. You switched the saber to your good hand and repeated the same grip exercises that you did with the wrench earlier.

Even if it pained you whenever you moved it, you tried to perform your usual attack swings and strikes, a spinning attack would be the most daring in this circumstance.

You came to the conclusion that it was lousier when wielding it with your dominant but messed up arm.

“My right arm is practically dead at this point,” you scoffed.

You looked for something to practice your left-handedness on, you spotted a withered tree trunk standing not far from the ship and you decided to walk towards it.

In less than two paces, you feel an arm hook around your waist, causing you to drop your lightsaber to the soil. He hoisted you up to his shoulder until you’re hanging behind his back, while securing you by the thighs.

“Where do you think you’re going, kitty cat?”

“Oh come on!” you whined, smacking his back in retaliation. “I swear I wasn’t going to the tree to practice.”

“Uh-huh, sure you are,” Cal replied with his signature sarcasm, blatantly ignoring your light slaps on the broad of his back. “Bad girl.”

You gradually gave up on the continuous, light slapping on his back as he carried you all the way back to the ship. You reached for your saber, pulling it with the Force towards your hand before he could get farther.

“Sneak out once more and I’ll punish you,” he firmly said.

“Okay,” you nonchalantly replied, waving your saber around as he marched. You smirked to yourself. “I’ll sneak out tonight then.”

“No, you’re not,”

The two of you mockingly bickered back and forth whether or not you’ll sneak out in the dead of night just to get a swing of your saber. He settled you down on the couch like a toddler, bent down to level with you and looked at you in the eye.

“Hot chocolate?”

“Yes,” you perked.

“Promise me you won’t sneak out first,”

“Of course, it was a damn bribe,” you muttered.

“Promise?” he repeated, but sternly this time.

With a comical innocence, your free hand held your right arm by the wrist, raised it up in mid-air and a limp hand bobbed to the side.

“Padawan’s honor,”

Cal raised an eyebrow.

“What rank do you want? Grandmaster’s honor?”

“Good girl,” he smiled and kissed the tip of your nose before retreating to the kitchen.

Your eyes followed him until he began fishing out cups and spoons from the drawers. Utensils lightly clattered here and there, the viscous chocolate sloshed from the pitcher to the glasses. He brought one for each of you and he cuddled into you on the couch. He scooped up your legs and rested them over his lap, he puts his arm around your shoulder, sipping away the sweet liquid each minute while nuzzling his cheek on your head.

“I hope this heals soon,” you muttered, a sad, bored tone rang in your words.

“Soon, sweetie,” he kisses your forehead. “Soon. Then we’ll go practice once it’s not so bad anymore.”

“Promise?” you angled your head up so you could look at him in the eye.

He smiled at the sight of your soulful, puppy eyes.

“I promise.”

Okay so u and waka,,, helping out at a kindergarten bc that way u could excuse urself from school work✨ how would that play out?

hgskdgfkks bb! and gg! tophie ditching school to play with children is probably one of the most wholesome things you can get 🥺

tophie taglist :  @ksyy / @ksyescribe + @cherryonigiri​ + @kukusbabe + @snazzieyama  + @kadoui + @kunimi-bby + @semiluvr + @pudding-head-kenma​ + @shinsuque + @luckywritesss + @astereim​ + @oyasenpai + @hikari-writes  + @namikxze + @haikoo + @pisces-mattsun + @mochiimii + @aexonian + @krusty-cheetahs + @cosmictooru  + @lcaita + @kuzuseijoh + @dramaqueenweeb1469​ + @aurumskyy​ + @akaashichigo + @catharsisbabey + @miki-snake

BB!GG!Tophie Helping At A Local Kindergarten

jsdfgjsdgkf

i’m already blushing and nothing’s happened ಠ_ಠ

lemme just start off by saying that it would be wakatoshi that brings the idea up

“sophie, i have an idea for tomorrow”

“if you mean egging the maths teacher’s car again, i’ll leave you like last time—”

“no that’s not what i meant, but that was fun~”

“it wasn’t,,, i had to sit there in the long lecture and apologise on your behalf since you weren’t going to”

“i still don’t see why you apologised”

“i don’t want to hear that from you”

“whatever you say, treasure (GJDHRSDGFKSDJGK I STILL DIE AT THIS OMFG 🥺) anyway, back to what i was saying”

ಠ_ಠ

“let’s help out at the local kindergarten for the day”

:O

“heh, i see i caught your interest~”

“would it be after school?”

“during”

. . .

“no”

“who said i was asking”

. . .

it took a while to convince me (it didn’t—) since i had a perfect attendance since i care about that education at times, but in the end i agreed

we ended up having wakatoshi call the school in saying i was sick and he was taking care of me since i didn’t want to not say anything,,,

but he already signed up and contacted the kindergarten, asking if he could bring me along with him today

at first i didn’t react, but then i took a double take

tODAY?? HE’S DONE THIS BEFORE???

yea

i knew he loved children, but i never would’ve guessed he helped out before

tbh, i should’ve guessed,,,

but he said to wear comfortable clothing

and guess what?

we wear couple outfits 🥺

oh!

we also baked cookies for the kids the night before too!!

that was fun 🥺

but since we both live on campus, we had to sneak out very early in the morning

we disguised it as us going on a run since we both do sports

and it was winter

so we would just say i came down with something the night before but it got worse after the run

very convenient if i do say so myself

i mean, no one questioned us so it was kinda useless—

n e way

we went to a cafe we’re regulars at and just chilled there for a while, had something warm to drink, shared some red velvet waffles and had a chat with the nice old couple who owns the place

they’re very sweet

the make a few,,, innuendos which i never catch on but wakatoshi does and he goes with it

while i’m sipping on my hot chocolate and our waffle—

but when it’s time to leave, they give us some more baked goods, on the house, to take and share between us

they’re very stubborn

when we get there, we change our shoes and greet the teacher of the class we’ll be helping out!!

her and wakatoshi are already familiar with each other so he introduces me to her

we set things up and then the kids come in

and let me tell you i had to hold back a squeal

and wakatoshi (the big oaf) just chuckled

damn him—

but anway

every time the children come in, they always shouted

“TOSHI-NII!!”

and honestly?

i melted

and combusted

just both tbh

and every time they do that, they turn to see me and just stare

some are excited

some ae shy

some are jealous as to why wakatoshi has his arms wrapped around me

oh boy

but the day went well? i think?

like, aside from all the jealous 4 year old girls trying to fight me for wakatoshi’s hand in marriage (i said they could have him and just fight between themselves. when i tell you wakatoshi was not impressed) it went well!!

we played with the children, helped them when they needed it, and my favourite part was giving them the cookies

it was before they leave that we gave it to them!! 

the teacher called their attention while wakatoshi helped me with the containers

the children were all giddy and it was the most sweetest thing i swear

they lined up in two lines, one for me and one for wakatoshi!!

and they said a happy “THANK YOU!!” each time they got one

🥺

some even gave me a hug 

😭

and then came some of the girls who wanna marry wakatoshi (some were in wakatoshi’s line and let me tell you i’ve never seen anyone happier than those girls iN MY LIFE—)

i noticed they kept shifting in the line and glancing at me

but me being the dumb person i am took no notice bc i had kids shouting their thanks, hugging me, kissing my cheek and wakatoshi’s burning stare drilling through me each time—

and when they reached me

oh my god

they started crying

anD I WAS LIKE

W H A T

so i whipped out my handkerchiefs bc i’m prepared like that and dry their tears, while telling them it’s okay and asking what’s wrong

onlY FOR THEM TO CRY MORE

by now the whole class is staring and idk what feels worse

not knowing what’s causing their tears, or a bunch of four year olds staring at us, along with the teacher and wakatoshi

rip

but you know what one of them said?

thrOUGH HER TEARS???

“y-you and tos-shi-nii should get marr-ried!! he lov-es you 😭”

“wut”

“i do”

“wakatoshi, you’re not helping”

and that’s the story of balamory how i became friends with those girls

by sharing what being wakatoshi’s (wife) girlfriend is like and spilling all the little things he does and make fun of him (once again, wakatohsi is not impressed) o(*°▽°*)o

they even start calling me “sophie-nee” as well 

and when i tell you my heart buRST

but now they all cal me that and i’m a mushy puddle of softness

and when they go home?

saddest thing ever

a lot of tear-shed from the kids

esp the girls who i made friends with

but you know what made up for it?

“will you come back next time, sophie-nee?? please come back 🥺”

oop

there goes my heart for the hgfjksdf time today—

and then wakatoshi and i helped clean up and the teacher was thanking us for being here jhdskjfd

long story short, we’ll be coming here weekly—

and then we go out for lunch at a small diner 

very cute

now we’re back at the dorms

his dorm actually

“my love”

“hm? what is it?”

“let’s have children”

“huh? oh, sure”

. . .

“wait, nOW—???”

interested? take part in my 300 follower sleepover event !!

Brothers in Training

Tony and Peter had been working down in the lab when Tony spoke up about the thing he’d been meaning to tell Peter for a few weeks.

“Hey, kiddo, I need to talk to you about something. And before you get all worried, you’re not in trouble. I just wanted to tell you something; you might even be excited,” the man said, and Peter’s head perked up from where he’d been focusing on his work. “What is it?”

“Well you remember me telling you about Harley, right? I met him a few years ago,” Tony waited for Peter to nod in acknowledgment. “Well, he’s coming up here for a few weeks, so I wanted to give you a heads up.”

“How long is he staying for?” Peter asked, suddenly anxious at the thought of Tony taking more of a liking to Harley. They had known each other longer after all. “Don’t go all thinky on me there, kid.” Tony pointed a finger at Peter; he knew the kid well enough to know he was probably going over all the horrible outcomes that had a 0.001% chance of happening. Peter smiled shyly. “Sorry,” he said. “You know it’s alright kid; I just don’t want you worrying yourself. You know I love you,” the man smiled, going over and placing his hands on Peter’s shoulders. “Now, what are we working on?”

Peter smiled. “Just some more pre-cal. You wanna help?”

“You know I do.”

+

It had officially been summer break for a week when Tony broke the news to Peter. “Hey, Pete, guess what we’re doing tomorrow.”

“What?” Peter asked, and Tony smiled. “We’re going to pick Harley up!” Tony exclaimed, and Peter grinned excitedly. He’d spent the last few weeks convincing the boy that Harley coming would be great, and that it would be like having a brother the few weeks he stayed with them. Peter had slowly gotten more excited, and by that time, he was just as eager to pick Harley up as Tony was.

“I’m really excited,” the boy had said. “Do you think we’re gonna be good friends?”

“Of course I do,” Tony had answered. He had every reason to believe they would be. After all, the two were both incredibly smart, and they were close enough in age, with Peter getting nearer to his fifteenth birthday as Harley neared his seventeenth. There was no reason to believe anything would go awry. Of course, Tony had no true idea of knowing how the boys would really get along, but being best friends seemed likely.

Well, he was wrong.

The next day, as Peter and Tony stood hand in hand at the airport- the boy was too shy for his own good- they waited for the flight Harley would be coming off of. Once Tony caught sight of the boy, his face lit up and he shouted, ”Harley!”

“Hey, Mechanic!” the boy yelled back with a dramatic wave, and Peter made a face.

“Mechanic?” he asked, and Tony kept his smile as he replied, “Oh yeah, that’s what I called myself way back when I met him; it stuck.” As Harley finally made his way to the pair, he dropped his bags and embraced Tony with a smile. Peter pretended it didn’t sting to be left unacknowledged, but of course he’d be more excited to see Tony, Peter thought logically.

Once the two pulled away, Peter held his own hand out to Harley. “Hi, Harley! It’s so nice to meet you,” the boy said with all the enthusiasm he had, which was quite a bit.

“You must be Peter,” the older boy said as his much larger hand enveloped Peter’s, and the younger boy swore he saw a grimace as his hand was shaken. “That’s me! Tony’s told me all about you; I’m really glad you’re here!”

“Glad to be here,” Harley replied, picking his bags up and looking away from Peter. “Well, car’s this way, let’s get your bags in and head back to my place. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do!”

Tony’s eyes shone with happiness as he helped Harley grab his bags and load them into the car, Peter trailing behind the pair. He tried not to feel jealous as the older boy immediately hopped into the front seat with Tony without even looking in Peter’s direction, and he tried even harder not to feel jealous when he also knew the lyrics to the song Tony turned on.

I’m being unreasonable, Peter thought. I live with him, I don’t need to sit in the front seat, or know the lyrics to the songs he listens to.

Still, the young boy could feel the envy creeping up on him, but he shoved it away and put on a smile, one he hoped Harley would return.

He didn’t.

+

It didn’t take Peter long to realize that Harley maybe-sorta-kinda didn’t like him.

The southern boy had only been there for a day and a half, and yet he’d only spoken to Peter when he was prompted to by Tony and he’d taken every opportunity to roll his eyes once the man had looked away. Peter tried not to let it bother him, Harley didn’t know him was all, he’d told himself. That didn’t mean it hurt any less when Harley pushed past him when Tony wasn’t looking, or when he gave Peter’s projects a look of disgust.

As bad as it made Peter feel, he was still glad things weren’t totally horrible. Yeah, he and Harley didn’t get along, which was disappointing, but he was no Flash. But when Harley pulled him aside as he was walking out of the bathroom his third day there, he realized that maybe he’d been wrong. Because yeah, he didn’t go after him the way Flash did, but he lived with him, for a few weeks at least.

“Hey, Peter!” he’d said as the younger boy walked out of the bathroom, looking up to meet Harley’s eyes. When he saw nothing but malice, he looked down.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Peter looked back up to the older boy, feeling more intimidated by the minute.

“What is it with you?” Harley’d asked, and Peter gave him a look of confusion.

“W- What do you mean?” he’d asked, and Harley scoffed.

“I mean, you never leave us alone. Jesus Christ, I bet Tony’s tired of you breathing down his neck. I’ve only been here three days and I’m already tired of it.”

Peter was taken aback. Had Harley really said those things to him, in his own house? And was he really that irritating; did Tony really get tired of him the way Harley said he did?

“I-I’m not trying to be in the way. I-I always go in the lab with Tony; we work together,” Peter stuttered out, trying to make it clear he didn’t mean any harm.

“W-W-Well leave us alone,” Harley replied, mocking Peter’s stutter and making him feel even worse than he already did.

“Oh, and now you’re gonna cry? Seriously? You’re fourteen, not four. You shouldn’t need Tony holding your hand and you certainly shouldn’t need him to wipe your tears. Clean it up and leave us alone.”

With one last eye roll, Harley was off, leaving Peter to stand, stunned, in the hallway.

After that encounter, Peter made sure to leave Tony and Harley alone. If the two were in the lab, he stayed in his room, and if the two weren’t in the lab, then he took himself down there to work, alone. As he worked by himself, he realized he couldn’t fathom how Tony ever worked alone, as he was beyond lonely. But if he had to be lonely for a few days to get away from Harley’s eye rolls and glares, then so be it.

Peter thought he was being pretty sneaky about avoiding the two. When they came up for lunch, Peter pretended like Ned was calling, and when they walked in on him in the lab, he pretended as though he was hungry. And then Ned was calling. Or he was tired. The list went on and on, anything to escape Harley’s hatefulness.

Tony, however, definitely realized something was up. He wasn’t stupid by any means; so when Peter ducked out of the lab for the fourth time in two days, he knew something was going on.

“Hey, Pete, c’mere. I wanna talk to you,” the man called as he walked into Peter’s room. Always eager to please, the boy spun around in his chair to face the man, eyes wide as if he were asking, ‘what’s up?’

“What do you need?” Peter asked, a nervous edge to his voice.

“Well,” Tony began. “I noticed you’ve been avoiding Harley and me.”

“N-No I haven’t,” Peter responded, eyes widening. How was he supposed to get around this?

“I think you have, kiddo, and that’s okay, I understand it may be weird to have someone else here. I just wanted to make sure everything’s alright with you two, getting along and everything, right?”

Peter felt guilt creep up on him. If he said no, he would be letting Tony down by making it known Harley wasn’t as great as he thought he was? Right. But if he said yes, that would be a lie, and Peter knew how much Tony hated when he lied.

He settled for the lie.

“Yeah, everything’s good. We’re fine; we just don’t know each other that well.”

He watched the gears turn in Tony’s head, the way his eyes flickered as he went over what he’d had said, trying to decide if it was the genuine truth or a lie to satiate him.

“Well if you’re sure,” the man had said. Peter breathed out a sigh of relief. “I’m sure he’d like to get to know you better; you two should do something before he leaves.”

Not a chance, Peter thought. Still, he nodded his head and turned back to his desk, Tony kissing the top of his head before exiting the room, leaving Peter to come down from the anxiety high he’d experienced during the conversation.

A few moments later, when the door opened again, he least expected the intruder to be Harley.

“Can’t you just leave us alone?”

Peter whipped around to face the older boy, confusion evident on his face.

“What do you mean? I have left you alone. I live here and you’ve barely even seen me; can’t you leave me alone?”

Peter couldn’t believe he’d said that.

“Oh wow, see you’ve finally grown some balls there,” Harley exclaimed. “Nice to know you’ve got at least one bone in your body.”

Peter sighed. “Can you just go?”

“No, actually, I can’t.” Harley crossed his arms. “But you can.”

Peter’s eyes shone with even more confusion.

“Come on, there’s plenty of other floors you could be on, not to mention all the other people you could be bothering. Why don’t you just do us all a favor and leave, for a little while at least. It’s the least you could do.”

This time, Peter’s eyes shone with hurt. Surely he couldn’t be that bad, right?

Not having anything to say, he spun his chair back around to face the wall. When Harley realized he’d gotten his point across, he walked out of the room, mumbling a quick, “Something to think about,” before closing the door behind him.

+

Peter thought about it. He thought about it for a while, actually, before he decided to text Clint.

Can I stay with you tonight? he’d sent, and Clint had a replied with ‘Of course’ before he’d even had time to regret it. He hadn’t spent a night away from Tony since May, but maybe getting out of Harley’s hair would be good. The older boy would have time to calm down, and besides, he loved Clint. Getting to shoot arrows was a bonus too, something Tony rarely ever let him do.

As Peter walked into the kitchen to grab a snack, he ran into both Harley and Tony, only one of which was obviously eager to see him.

“Pete! Why don’t you come to the lab with us?” Tony had proposed, and Peter almost wanted to take him up on the offer. Maybe flaunting Tony in front of Harley would make him let up, put him in his place, but Peter wasn’t that kind of person. So instead, he replied, “Actually, I’m going to stay on Clint’s floor tonight.”

He watched as Tony’s facial expression morphed into one of concern, and Harley’s into a smug one.

“You sure, kiddo?” he asked, and Peter nodded.

“Yeah, you guys will be able to hang out, and you know how much I love Clint’s arrows.”

Tony grabbed his arm. “You know you’re not bothering us, kid. But if you really want to go, I won’t stop you. If you need anything, and I mean anything, you know I’ll be here.” Again, Peter nodded, because he did know. He knew he wasn’t a bother to Tony, as much as he sometimes felt he was, especially now that Harley was making it his life’s mission to make sure Peter knew it.

After the little impromptu meeting, Peter packed his bag and headed for the elevator, giving the penthouse a glance as the doors closed. Once he’d arrived on Clint’s floor, he was immediately greeted with an enthusiastic, “Hey, kid! Ready to shoot?”

It was almost as if that’s all he needed to cheer up, dropping his bag with a toothy grin and following the man to his shooting room. They’d barely exchanged two more words before the two began practicing, Peter practically forgetting about his earlier troubles.

As the day went on, the two had a great time. They’d shot arrows for a couple hours, had lunch with Natasha and Steve, and were finally settled down on the couch watching a movie. Peter was cuddled up to Clint, courtesy of the sleepiness he was feeling, when the man asked, “You about ready for bed, kid? You don’t usually stay up so late.”

At that, Peter felt a sick feeling in his stomach. “U-Um, can we maybe watch one more movie? Please?”

“Yeah, sure,” Clint replied. “It’s summer. Who needs a bedtime?” Peter weakly smiled, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach, and watched as Clint picked another movie. The boy could feel his eyes getting heavy, his muscles relaxing, but every time his eyes slipped closed, he felt his heart start racing.

What was going on?

As the movies ending neared, all Peter could pay attention to was that he just didn’t feel good. His stomach hurt, his chest hurt, and all he could think was, I want Tony.

Oh. He was missing Tony. That’s what it was. He’d almost forgotten about the one night he’d been away from the man at bedtime, the way he’d cried until the man had picked him up from Ned’s house. He thought that had just been a once off.

Apparently he was wrong. Now that he had finally realized what was wrong, it only put him more on edge. Was he going to be able to sleep? Did he have to sleep on the couch? Or was there an extra bed he’d sleep in? Would Clint mind if Peter slept with him? This was his first time staying on Clint’s floor after all; what if he got up in the middle of the night and needed to use the bathroom and got lost? What if he had an accident? It didn’t happen very often but the boy didn’t want to find out how Clint would react. His thoughts were cut short by Clint standing up, and Peter now realized that the credits had begun rolling.

“Alright, kiddo. Let’s head to bed; Tony would have my head if he knew I let you stay up late.”

Peter whipped his head in Clint’s direction. “W-We don’t have to go to bed yet. I-I’m not even tired, really.”

“Kid.” Clint raised his eyebrows. “You were practically falling asleep the whole movie; I think it’s time for bed.”

“B-But my stomach hurts,” Peter almost whined, tears springing to his eyes. It was true, his stomach was hurting, but he was frustrated too. He was tired, but he also couldn’t stand the thought of sleeping, not away from Tony.

“Buddy, are you feeling okay?” Clint asked concernedly, watching the child as he tried to hold his tears in. The boy, in turn, nodded his head but kept his arms tightly wound around his stomach, Clint frowning in response.

“I think you just need to sleep. If your stomach hurts, you might try and go to the bathroom before bed,” the man supplied, though he had a feeling he knew what was really going on. When the tears in the boys eyes finally slipped down his cheeks though, Clint knew he was right.

“N-No, I don’t want to!” he sobbed, arms still wrapped around his stomach, face a mess of tears.

“Can I ask you a question, Pete?”

The boy nodded.

“Do you wanna go back to your floor? I think you’d feel a lot better if you could sleep in your own bed, hm? And I bet you’re missing Tony, too,” Clint said, and watched as it became clear that’s what Peter wanted.

“O-Okay, that sounds good.”

“Yeah? Alright, well let’s get your stuff and head up, okay?”

Once Peter nodded, Clint helped him off the couch and the two collected his things, then walked into the elevator.

“I’m sorry,” Peter sniffled. “I didn’t mean to ruin our sleepover.” Clint chuckled. “It’s alright, kid; you didn’t ruin anything. I just want you to get a good nights sleep.”

Peter nodded with another sniffle, and the elevator dinged as the doors opened on Tony’s floor.

Walking into the penthouse, Clint wrapped an arm around Peter’s shoulder, guiding him into the living room where they could hear a movie playing. Once they’d reached the doorway, they saw Tony with his head turned around, obviously waiting on whoever’d come in. “Hey, guys, what happened?” Tony asked, getting up off the couch and walking over to the pair, Peter’s breath hitching as he finally saw Tony.

“Kid got a little anxious,” Clint answered just as Tony engulfed the boy into a hug. “Just needed his dad.”

Tony frowned. “Alright, well thanks for bringing him back, and looking after him today.”

“Any time.”

Once Clint was gone, Tony had pulled Peter to sit on his lap on the couch. In his angst, Peter had nearly forgotten Harley was even there. So when he caught the boys eye after he’d been pulled into Tony’s lap, legs thrown over the mans, face buried in his chest, he didn’t even flinch. Instead, he just turned his head away, content to rest his eyes and sleep.

If only it were that easy every day.

+

Three days later, after endless torture from Harley, things finally came to a head. Peter had been extra emotional that day, all of Harley’s glares and insults hurting more than they usually did. He’d only have to endure it for four more days, but it was getting harder and harder.

As the day went on, it became harder and harder to keep his emotions in check, scurrying off to the bathroom more than once to relieve some of the pressure behind his eyes and shed a few tears. That’s why, around ten o’clock, Peter had hurried off to bed, leaving a confused Tony in his wake.

“Kid, you know you don’t have to go to bed; it’s summer,” he’d said, and Peter had only nodded along, supplying a short, “I’m just tired tonight.”

The man had frowned, but still invited Peter in for his usual goodnight hug, holding the boy a little longer that night. He’d noticed the teariness throughout the day, but chose not to say anything, just chalking it up to missing May.

Oh, how wrong he was. Peter was off to his room and under the covers as soon as Tony had told him goodnight, not even sparing a glance at Harley on his way out. He didn’t need the boy ruining his bedtime either. After that, things were relatively calm for the next couple hours. Tony and Harley stayed up watching movies, the two of them adding commentary every so often. The two were on their third movie of the night when F.R.I.D.A.Y. interrupted, her Irish voice ringing through the room.

“Mister Stark, I would like to inform you that one of your protocols for Mister Parker has been activated. However, I am not sure you would like me to disclose the information in front of Mister Keener. Shall I send the information to your cell phone?”

Sometimes Tony swore that F.R.I.D.A.Y. cared as much about Peter as he did, the AI seeming almost parental when it came to the boy, as parental as the computer could be. “Uh, yeah, sure F.R.I.D.A.Y. . Send it over.”

As soon as he said that, his phone vibrated with a message from the AI, letting him know that the protocol he’d put in place for Peter’s occasional bedwetting had been activated. The boy didn’t experience it often, but accidents weren’t so uncommon, and Tony felt he needed a plan for when it did happen. So, he got up out of seat, shooting Harley a quick, “Be right back,” before beginning to walk towards the hallway. What he was not expecting was for Harley to quip back with an almost angry, “Seriously?” He turned around at that, the kids face softening up a little as he saw the look on Tony’s face. “I need to go check on him. I’ll be back in no more than half an hour. You can finish the movie if you want.” With that, he turned around and made his way towards his kids room, opening the door to peek inside at the still sleeping boy.

Good, Tony thought. At least it wasn’t a bad nightmare.With that in mind, he walked quietly over to the bed and squatted down to be level with Peter, placing a gentle hand on his back. “Hey, kiddo, wake up for me,” the man whispered, his hand making circles in the boys back. “We gotta get cleaned up.”

It didn’t take long for Peter to stir, the boy opening his eyes with a look of confusion on his face, before shifting and realizing what was wrong. Immediately, his facial expression changed to one of embarrassment, cheeks heating up so red Tony could see them even in the dark. “It’s fine, kiddo, we just gotta get cleaned up. Up and at em,” Tony murmured, watching as the boy grimaced as he stood from the bed. “There we go. It’s okay.”

Once the boy was out of the sticky bed, Tony put a hand on his lower back and led him towards the connected bathroom. As Peter worried his lower lip, Tony told him, “Don’t worry about it kiddo, you know I’m not mad.”

Starting the bath, Tony kept his back turned as the boy undressed behind him. He waited for the water to get warm enough before he put the stopper in, Peter climbing in not long after. He drew his knees up to his chest and tried to wipe his tears away, but Tony could still see them flowing. “Kiddo, don’t cry. You know I’m not upset; it’s no big deal,” Tony tried to console, but the kid only continued to cry, a hiccup escaping his lips.

“P-lease don’t tell H-Harley,” he hiccuped, and Tony’s eyes shone with confusion.

“I wouldn’t tell Harley, kiddo, this is your business. But Harley wouldn’t care; he wouldn’t make fun of you.” That only upset Peter further, a sob tearing out of him before he could stop it. “Y-Yes he would!”

“Pete, I don’t understand. What are you so upset for?”

He didn’t answer.

“Did I do something?”

Peter shook his head.

“Did Harley?”

Peter nodded. Finally, after all this time, he was admitting the truth. Tony didn’t respond for a moment, just staring as Peter cried, making him feel even more self conscious than he already did. He was a snitch now; he’d hurt Tony. “Kiddo, what’s he been doing?”

Yet again, Peter shook his head. Maybe if he didn’t tell Tony, it would all go away. He would forget Peter even said anything and could spend his last few days with Harley in ignorant bliss. But Tony was nothing without his ability to coax information, especially out of Peter. So for the next fifteen minutes, Peter finally told Tony the truth, about everything. From Harley’s glares and insults to his shoves and threats, Peter didn’t hold back, and the look on Tony’s face at the end of it made him want to cry all over again.

“I’m sorry,” he sniffled.

Af, Anime, and Apparently: , Okay Ibl, story ame when I wss younger, had this Irish friend who pred our school when w as like 17, Dude ded recently nd here丐the ballad of the merveeus bsstard be average as fuck 17 year old Bribong Some foreign guy has just joined, his family just moved here city called Dery in Mgved here with his dad and his lite sister, his mum died when he was younger He gets put in my class and ends up stting nest to me This is howl met Eigh-Beers Mgee the all him Call him a hippo because of his fucking industrial size frant teeth and his big flucking lps Greg uses his adism to get out of doing and saying whatever the fuck he wants noing EB wth she lke Greg has his desk very paricularly arranged, pens on one side in a straight ine pencis on the other Dude is OCD as fuck with his pencilcase and shit Goes nuts i anything gets moved, so this desk is sightly apart from everyone elses We all get in shit twe fuck with him an purpose, We ought to know better The sutistic hippo keeps trying to get a reaction out of EB the whole class All af a sudden EB just casualy raises a foot and pushes the Hppo's desk right the fuck over Teacher hurries oer and trying to explan to EB atma Gregs autism while Greg teaks the tack G in his chair, breathing reawy ss thoug gh nong bd sheer辍tstie resentment EB looks at Greg and betsthe teacher "Oh sorry, wedant have Wid bump with more nenhinbeland' h on EB's third day at our school He's a pretty cool guyikes the 쑈me vidya and movies as me and is a big fan of Rugby, was captan of his team back iieland ell hem the school has s rughy searn he says EB goes to check it out, starts off on the lower team because hes think theyire ston of kind of fast runners gets recks fucking everyone that next hal f hel take him Jumps on him, grabs him by the neck to pull him down and iterally rolls on him ike a fucking rolling pn -EB didniteven have the bal What the fook you playin at son I didnt even have the ball, do you even know how to fookin play the game lad EB grins You know over in Ireland you have to be fit to play sports, the fatties get leit on the sideline EB grabs his amn and tosses him to the ground dude twists his anke or something and starts twitching and squeaking lke a baby elephant with parkinsons EB gets put on top team Anonymous (D wHTHOgC) 03 19/14(Wedj20 28 25 UTC-5 No 538041137 Reple 41T months without inc dont give long as youre cool to him dents aside from a few close cals with Greg the Mildly Autistic Hppo e pretty close Apparently ㅲ Ireland they don't have gangs they have paramitanes fighting between whether Northern lreland ts Britsh or hsh >He plays 4down a kal, bd ican tell some shit mu have Pagpened because he always changes the subject when gets clos·tohame Edgy fapgot Luke comes back to school Luke hangs around with a pack of riggers who are all apparenty in a gang, he les to pretend he's part of this "gang" and carries this fucking Stanky e around that he panted red and bue for some reason aOne day at lunch Like corries up to EBied o ofnotere starts askrig his datisalcoholc Nope aound Tm guessin your mam had a far lew belore you were born though mate Well tuck Ind wanna sift speI had to sht out a dat bastardlke yourset. Jog on ン"You win t)4ck with the wrong person t y inst, boy?" EB starts laughing, IHeraly loses his sht at the ste of this Itle fagpot in a trenchc oat with a stanley knfe and actualy presses EB grabs his wrist, takes the fabled blade from the hands of the chosen one tosses t over a fence and punches him straight in the face We're out geting beer, Tm with a 7/10 GT that Ive had a crush on for tucking months Her and EB get along realy wel, athough I sort of think she only hung out with us because EB did That right when we're all drunk, me and QT end up fucking Leaving out my side because this is the ballad of Eght Beer, not me Spend ages taking with QT,estabǐshthat shè apparenty seat, ikes me back EB heads up to bed, I stay down with the other guys to watch TV, QT was askeep when 1 came down QT comes running do wwith a towel round her, soaking wet, and rung out the ont door Apparently EB sleeps naked, not surpnised since Ive found him naked before after a night of drinking Says she came on to himeven ater all he shit she said aLaugh숨 and says he took aprt to bed with hm,awas cn e tablo and when she ed onwth him he lossed all over her Threw her clothes out the wendow into the rain and told her to go and fetch Two weeks later he takes me to a pub and hooks me up with a 910 Anonymous (TDwHT HOC) 03/1914(Wed 20.43 59 UTC-5 No 538044014 Raps.4380408044772 332420 EB and me are total bros after being fnends for a few years 가%aving hm as a best friend is Ike havngtose nasty trainers as a kid Shit get pretty he avy >Him and E汨were close, mostly because EB would buy him vidya and act super interested in the anime sht he lied because nobody else other than me would loses his har chermo aGotovst him, EBisgung me there >He thinks rs awesome get our photo taken together witout any har EB lets him draw all kinds of dumb sh on his bad head, lets him draw a dumb moustache on him o Spend ages just dicking a >Son of a bitch luke who R is, Dukey the Rookie is across the bar in the same tucking trenchcoat he wore back at school >EB says hi chats away to him lbe nothing ever happened >We head home and EB spend the night sitting up with me playing Batlefront on my old P52 and drinking, just trying to cheer me up me every time Sorry for that 2sad4me post, but iti make sense later Anonymous (IO woitth%) 05/19/14(Wed)20 52 46 UTC-5 No 530045357 Reeses 씌38amsrme esaaa Lving together in a let with some chick and her boyfriend The one song I remember is "Uncle Tommy by The Rumjacks, because it played when sht went down EB told them that he "ain't lookin any trouble lads, have a beer and forget that tripe for the night aye? 4 of them jump on him, start beating the shit out of him -l tackle one of them to try help him, get the fuck beaten out of me but fuck that it's goddamn E8 in there EB broke the dudes fucking am He gets up, bleeding out of every pore in his beaunful iwish body Bouncing around with his fists up, Ieraly looks ike he could fly around the room he's bouncing that much The skinheads keep going for him but back off every time aher he swings, it looks lke he could knock a building down with that sh Babbling some incoherent shit in lrish rage, nobody understands the words but everyone understands the meaning pack up there sht ike a scene from a fucking move Eight tucking beersl You splied eight of me fucking beers you hairless tuckin mongrels Eight beers lad, eight fucking beers What's the fucking craic there lke Anonymous (D: wHTiHOgC) 031914(Wed]21:6 02 UTC-5 No. 538047326 EB sgoing back to Ireland to vist his nan, she's real sick 기we lar dr, Befast-thritrs the captal of the oth but not of Ireland ckhow t wori ed EB never eaty expla edit, 5ad you wont understand the bullsh politics unless you grew up there go 1o vist his nan with EB' Sweetest tucking old lady ever, says that EB was always a rough lad but awk he'd never hurt a sour greedy fucker This woman is clearly the most infuenial famly member in the Eight Beer famly EE shows me round Derry, tels me about how 5pIt relgusy and shows methes bg ass wall cood place Takes me to Belast agan and shows methe pace wherethe ttanc was bu -we end up going to place caled The Crown Bar Ger pretty drunk, or Tpped as EB calls it Walked around Belfast for a bt, he tells me about the history of some stuf »Spend a few nights there, have a fucking blast but decide to head home don't wanna be an inrusion on the whole nan stustion Lad you're practicaly a part of the famly Anonymous D wH7HOQC) 03/19/14Wd21 18 48 UTC-5 No 538040230 Getting close to the end now Shits hard to wrte, I miss hat fucker Life is prety uneventful for a wle pparentty some Kiddy Fiddler called Wilm Whight fucked EB when totally agan family home a load of sht, fucks 2EB spends all nut there next to her, nearly gets wolent when staff ask harto leave so doctors can sort some 닸官out calm him down and we wat r, hosptzd for brig bme B's Sister gets beter, but is pretty fucked for life Never taks never leaves the house she's pretty much a goddarmn vegetable EB spends all of his time off work with her, never comes out anymore, just sts in with her. We sometimes come ound and drink with him but he refuses to leave the house -One night while he's sieeping, EB's fucked up sister C's faul, that's pretty much the main subject of t. I don't get why she'd need to say that but whabever Tels me he waan't that close with his family back home his dad is fucked up with grief and everythings just a mess ie doesn't want to go home because he has nothng there other than remnders, but doesn't want to stay here because of what has pened Does his best to be the usual bi9dck coolguy that he always was, puts on a brave face but f you c h him on his own he's luckn9 merable ite gets in 갠 few fights when we're ot dmkrg ry one who gnestmamy 5hvt gets m edistety fucking amidated none ofths ads everyone on" that he used to do s fighting back tears already guessed, but he starts teling me about how he blames himseffor what 거had pened to his sis have tucking known better >Lterally carrot change his mid anthis shit, looks like he has himse#1uly convinced th this is his taut we talk about old imes laugh a be things actualy seem back to normal for whie Ainight mabe. Let's have one for old tme's sake, ae? Hie eventualily leaves, but before he goes he tells me that 'You've been a good mate from day one mate. Honestly out on a limb rd do fuckin' anything for ya Take t easy lad speti ong tme EB doesn't reply to teats or Cutign place doeant answer B tucking hung himsel is fanly tatoo many things that I don't need thanked every tme fucker

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My Weight Loss Plan-

I was sitting here for a good minute trying to come up with a catchy name. I had some, but none so great as just being straightforward.

I've used this 2 times in my life to lose 50-65lbs. The one fault I've had was treating it like a diet, not a lifestyle. You gotta keep up with this stuff day in, day out. Staying healthy, not just for hotness, is a wonderful life to have.

I've used fitness programs and magazines to help motivate and educate myself. Oxygen Magazine is great. They have recipes and their models look healthy.

Food and Nutrition-

When I wake up I chug 32oz of water. I try to do 4 of those a day. (More if I need when I workout.) Vitamins are a must. Multi-daily, vitamin D, and Fish/Flax/Borage Oil supplement for Omegas. I also do a High Protein meal replacement shake. I workout so hard the "regular" weight loss shake doesn't cut it. I use Lean Cuisine when I don't have time for meal prep.

Breakfast- Meal replacement shake with a piece of fruit or toast. Do not be fooled I add coffee to my shake. It's a must.

Lunch- Meal replacement shake, salad, or Lean Cuisine.

Supper- 6-8oz of meat, a cup of rice, & a cup of veggies.

Note: I will have another piece of fruit or a handful of reduced fat wheat thins if I'm hungry. I also check to see if I'm really hungry or just thirsty.

My job requires that I sit most of the day so I stick to around 1000 cals. I allow up to 1500-1600 if I workout. I try to keep my fat intake at or under 30g per day. Sugar, virtually no sugar. I use Splenda and fresh cut pineapple is a great replacement for candy or other sweets. There are also sugar free butterscotch candies that taste as good as the full sugar. I love sweets so I really had to find a way around that. Salt, same thing, keep it as low as possible. I learned to use and enjoy herbs and spices for cooking instead. I learned to love the natural taste of foods and the healthy alternatives to my favorites. I also started trying the vegan/vegetarian options.

With the calorie count like it is I make sure to have very nutrient dense food. I don't want to become sick or weak from lack of nutrition. My friends roast me pretty hard when I get excited to see veggie stuff on menus when we're at a restaurant...but look at these! Who wouldn't want to try this!

Workout- 

1hr every other day or 30-45min every day for 6 days then rest. (Every once in awhile I'd need to take an extra day for rest.)

20- 30mins of cardio

Remaining time for strength training.

I worked my way up to this. I've tried several times in the last few years and in the beginning I could barely get through 15mins of cardio. Drinking is no bueno y'all. I've also tried 2 times in the last two weeks to go running at 5am...kicked my a** equally, both times.

Right now I'm loving close set or diamond pushups. Plank twist or dolphin twist is a go to all the time every time for great abs. I also like to keep it low to mid impact on the cardio at the start. Saves the knees.

So...

20- 30mins of cardio

Diamond/Close Set push ups- 3 sets of 10

Dolphin/Plank Twist- 3 sets of 15

Tuck Ups- 3 sets of 15-20

Romanian Deadlift (w/or without weight) 3 sets of 15

Plie/Sumo Squats- 3 sets of 15-20

Leg Raise (to side)- 2 sets of 15 each side

(Dolphin)

(Tuck Up)

I've started with variations, like pushups on the knees, until I was strong enough to do full. Same with everything add more each workout or as I gained strength.

Well that's it that's the start of my plan. I like to mix it up too. Go for interval walking/running in the park. Swimming is great. Reading magazines or I follow Oxygen on twitter and they give workout and recipe tips. Really great.

Now that you've made it to the end, I'm adding a personal note. Very personal. The second time I went through this process I was hurt, frustrated, and really angry with myself. How did I let it get that far? 3am Krispy Kreme and McDonald's cheeseburgers. That was a regular thing for a little bit. At my most unhealthy I weighed 235 lbs. I'm 5'4''. That's very unhealthy. I had severe pain in my knees. I could feel my back fat jiggling against the top of my hips. I couldn't wear anything attractive, it was never in my size. When I did go to try on clothes I wanted to cry. It was hard to look at myself in the mirror under the harsh fluorescent lights.

I tried to ask someone on a date. He was really, really awesome about it. It's hard though. Seeing that slight change in their expression to "Oh s**t" or disappointment. And I don't care what anyone says, there will always be people who treat you different. Or people who treat you like trash because you're not "in shape". I've had both ends of the spectrum now. Guys hurrying to hold a door or checking a curb driving by looking at me. Women giving me dirty looks. (Hey lady I worked hard to look like this! If they only knew.) All the way to being the Invisible Woman. Another really heavy worry I had was about loose skin. I haven’t had that problem, but since the first time I went through this; I used Jergens Skin Firming lotion religiously. 

I really appreciate the film Shallow Hal. I'm glad that was brought to light and Gwyneth going out in the fat suit. Just blew my mind. Thank you guys for making this.

I do have to mention that each time I did this... I did it for me. It was time for me to do something good for me. Taking care of myself.

When I started I repeated,"I don't wanna be the fat girl anymore." out of frustration and desperation, with each crunch or push up. I lost 65lbs...

I was a different person after that. It was a transformation.

I'm going to do it again one final time. I'm already a week in. Wish me luck. -B-