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wazafam · 3 years

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The American black comedy crime thriller A Simple Favor was released in 2018, and its cast members in it are extremely recognizable. The film, directed by Paul Feig from a screenplay written by Jessica Sharzer, is a suspenseful story based on the 2017 novel of the same name, written by Darcey Bell. The movie stars Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick in the main roles, among other notable actors in supporting roles. The plot centers on a small-town video blogger who attempts to solve the mystery behind her friend's disappearance.

A Simple Favor was released by Lionsgate, and the movie garnered critical praise upon its theatrical release. Most critics praised the chemistry of the ensemble cast, and also wrote enthusiastically about the movie's shocking plot twists and turns. The film ended up making $5.9 million on its first day alone, and grossed a total of $97 million worldwide, on a budget of only $20 million.

Related: The Equalizer 2021 Cast & Character Guide

Indeed, the movie has an impressive cast led by its main stars, Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick. Henry Golding, Andrew Rannells, and Linda Cardellini are some of the supporting cast members, as well as Jean Smart, Rupert friend, Eric Johnson, and Dustin Milligan, among other actors.

Blake Lively takes on the role of Emily Nelson, Hope McLanden, and Faith McLanden in A Simple Favor, and her character's life is the most interesting part of the film. Viewers know Lively from teen movies The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Accepted, Simon Says, and other early-aughts flicks. Later, she appeared in movies ranging from New York, I Love You to The Town to superhero flick Green Lantern, which she starred in alongside her future husband Ryan Reynolds. In more recent years, Lively has appeared in The Age of Adaline, The Shallows, Café Society, and All I See Is You.

Following her success with A Simple Favor, Lively starred in the movie The Rhythm Section in 2020 alongside actors Jude Law and Sterling K. Brown. The movie follows a grieving woman who goes on a destructive path for revenge after learning that the plane crash that killed her family was actually a terrorist attack. To date, that is Lively's most recent role. From 2007 - 2012, of course, Lively starred as Serena van Der Woodsen in the hit show Gossip Girl, for which she won several accolades.

Like Lively, actress Anna Kendrick, who portrays Stephanie Smothers in A Simple Favor, has been working in Hollywood for several years. She first became a familiar face for her role as Jessica Stanley in the Twilight movies. Following the franchise's end, Kendrick began to take on different roles. She played Natalie Keener in Up In The Air, Janet Taylor in End of Watch and voiced Courtney Babock in ParaNorman. In 2012, Kendrick reached full stardom for playing Becca Mitchell in the popular movie Pitch Perfect. After that, Kendrick appeared in a slew of movies from 2013 until A Simple Favor in 2018, including What to Expect When You're Expecting, Drinking Buddies, Cake, Into the Woods, the two Pitch Perfect sequels, and The Accountant. She also appeared in the movies Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates and voiced a character in Trolls.

Related: The Shallows Behind The Scenes: How Filming Injured Blake Lively

Following her turn as Stephanie in A Simple Favor, Kendrick played Kendra Glack in the 2019 movie The Day Shall Come and portrayed Noelle Kringle in the holiday movie Noelle, released the same year. She also reprised her role in Trolls for the movie's 2020 sequel.

Andre Rannells, who plays Darren in A Simple Favor, began his career in television. He voiced characters on children's shows, like Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh!, as a kid, and the early aughts also saw his break into theater. He had numerous roles on the stage, and in 2011 played Elder Kevin Price in The Book of Mormon as an original cast member. From 2014 - 2018, he also had roles in Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Hamilton, Falsettos, and The Boys in the Band.

Related: Disney+ & HBO Max Already Have One Thing In Common: Anna Kendrick

Rannells became a familiar face on the screen when he joined the cast of Girls from 2012 - 2017, playing Elijah Krantz in 35 episodes. This role led him to other television parts, including Bryan Collins in The New Normal and Frazier H. Wingo in The Knick, as well as guest appearances in hit shows like How I Met Your Mother and Glee. He also had voice roles in the shows Sofia the First, Welcome to the Wayne, and Vampirina. Most notably, in 2017 Rannells joined the cast of Big Mouth. He continues to play that role into 2021, as well as continues to make occasional guest appearances on other shows. In terms of film — Rannell's most recent roles were in the 2020 films The Boys in the Band, The Prom, and The Stand In. And before appearing in 2018's A Simple Favor, he had parts in 2016's Why Him? and 2015's The Intern.

Linda Cardellini plays the part of Diana Hyland in A Simple Favor. Cardellini first became a household name in 1999, when she starred as Lindsay Weir in the cult television series Freaks and Geeks. That wasn't her first time in a series, though; throughout the late 1990s, she appeared in shows like Bone Chillers, 3rd Rock from the Sun, Clueless, Step by Step, Promised Land, Kenan & Kel, and Boy Meets World, among other programs.

Post-Freaks and Geeks, Cardellini continued her career in TV, appearing as Samantha Taggart in ER as Bliss Goode and Shelly in The Goode Family. She also had turns in popular shows like Gravity Falls, Mad Men, and New Girl, and took on the serious role of Meg Rayburn in 2015 for 33 episodes of Bloodline. In 2019, Cardellini began portraying Judy Hale in the Netflix series Dead to Me, opposite Christina Applegate.

Related: Why Freaks and Geeks Was Cancelled After One Season

Of course, many movie watchers know Cardellini's likeness from feature films. She appeared as Chutney Wyndham in Legally Blonde, and famously portrayed Velma Dinkley in Scooby-Doo and its sequel. Cardellini also had parts in Brokeback Mountain, The Lazarus Project, Kill the Irishman, and Daddy's Home and its sequel. Superhero movie fans know Cardellini as Laura Barton, the wife of Clint Barton aka Hawkeye in Avengers: Age of Ultron and Avengers: Endgame. And Cardellini has also starred in critically acclaimed films like Green Book, in which she played Dolores. In 2020, Cardellini portrayed Mae Capone in the movie Capone.

Actor Henry Golding portrays Sean Townsend in A Simple Favor. Golding has been a presenter on BBC's The Travel Show since 2014. Today's movie watchers primarily know him for playing the role of Nick Young in the hit 2018 movie Crazy Rich Asians, for which he won a Teen Choice Award. He also took on the role of Tom in the recent 2019 romantic-comedy holiday flick Last Christmas. Some lesser-known movies Townsend has appeared in include Pisau Cukur, Monsoon, and The Gentlemen. His most recent project is Snake Eyes, which is in post-production. In addition to being a longtime host on BBC's travel show, Golding has hosted shows including Football Crazy, Welcome to the Railworld Japan, and Surviving Borneo.

Jean Smart, who played Margaret McLanden in A Simple Favor, is most known for playing Lana Gardner on the NBC sitcom Frasier - a role for which she won two Primetime Emmy Awards. She started her impressive acting career in both film and television in the late 1970s. Some of the notable movies she's appeared in include Piaf, Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey, Snow Day, Sweet Home Alabama, Garden State, Life As We Know It, The Accountant, and, most recently, Superintelligence.

Related: Blake Lively & Michiel Huisman Talk 'Age of Adaline' Science, Harrison Ford & More

Smart has also appeared in television shows other than Fraiser throughout her career. She voiced Helen Ventrix in an episode of Batman: The Animated Series, played Sally Brewton in three episodes of Scarlett, and played Elinore "Ellie" Walker for 13 episodes of High Society. She also gained recognition for playing Martha Logan, the First Lady, in the show 24, and for portraying Regina Newly in 35 episodes of Samantha Who?

Smart was in numerous other television series up until her turn in A Simple Favor, and also appeared in small guest roles in popular shows like Halt and Catch Fire and The McCarthys. In more recent years, Smart portrayed Floyd Gerhardt in Fargo and Melanie Bird in Legion, as well as Arlane Hart in Dirty John, Mimi in Arrested Development, and series regular Agent Laurie Blake in Watchmen.

Rupert Friend played Dennis Nylon in A Simple Favor. The actor began his career with the 2004 movie The Libertine. He first became a familiar face when he took on the role of Mr. Wickham in Pride & Prejudice. Throughout the early aughts he had several other significant roles, including Sandy Mardell in Outlaw and Demetrius in The Last Legion, as well as Lt. Kurt Kotler in The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas and Prince Albert in The Young Victoria.

Related: Bridgerton: Every Pride And Prejudice Easter Egg & Reference

TV-wise, Friend is most known for portraying the character Peter Quinn in 58 episodes of Homeland. For his performance as Peter, Friend was nominated for numerous accolades. He also appeared in other shows since the end of Homeland, including Dream Corp, LLC, Strange Angel, and, most recently, Anatomy of a Scandal.

Eric Johnson as Davis: played Flash Gordon on the eponymous 2007 - 2008 television series, as well as Whintey Fordman on the show Smallville and Jack Hyde in the Fifty Shades franchise, among other roles.

Dustin Milligan as Chris: played Ethan Ward on the teen drama show 90210. Most recently, of course, the majority of television watchers know him as Ted Mullens from Schitt's Creek.

Bashir Salahuddin as Detective Summervile: appeared in the movies Snatched and Gringo, and since then has been in Marriage Story and The 24th. He's also known as a writer on Maya and Marty and for portraying Keith Bang on GLOW and Office Goodnight on South Side.

Kelly McCormack as Stacy: known for playing Zeph in the sci-fi show Killyjoys and for playing Betty Anne on the show Letterkenny. Most recently, she wrote, produced, and starred in the feature film Sugar Daddy.

Sarah Baker as Maryanne Chelkowsky: was previously in the movies The Campaign and Mascots, as well as shows like The Kominsky Method and Louie.

Melissa O'Neil as Beth: first gained fame for winning the third season of Canadian Idol in 2005. She's also known for her roles as Two/Rebecca/Portia Lin on the sci-fi series Dark Matter and as Officer Lucy Chen on the police drama show The Rookie.

Of course, viewers have probably seen these listed stars in other movies and TV shows, too. This is a non-exhaustive list of the films and shows that they are most likely recognized from. When all of these actors came together to work on 2018's A Simple Favor, it was a notable project. The movie was praised for its ensemble effort and continues to gain traction among movie watchers today.

Next: A Simple Favor Ending: Disappearance Reveal & The Many Twists Explained

A Simple Favor Cast Guide: Where You Recognize The Actors From from https://ift.tt/37f1O1L

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heuffopla · 6 years

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I was tagged in this question meme thing by @the-welsh-womble so here goes!

Birthplace : Paris, France! 🇫🇷

Current time : 3:09 pm

Drink you last had : I'm boring so water I guess :,00

Easiest person to talk to : *finger guns* social anxiety ! No but seriously, I'm more comfortable in large group of people because there's no chance of awkward silence which is The Worst or like,, anyone who's into musicals or art and is a nice person who still lets loose a lil

Favorite song : OH BOI. Uuh idk Book of Mormon is bae but I don't know if it really has my fav songs anymore?? Let's just say Musicals

Grossest memory : literally everytime I have to get out of my house. Paris is Very Gross

Horror Yes or No? : I LOVE ghost hunters shows!!!! Like ghost adventures or buzzfeed unsolved?? LOVE THAT!! But like, gore type of horror ? Nah hoe

In love ? : I think I do have a crush but love? Nope, and yall have seen my last post, it would be better if I never revealed it anyway ((also I get random crushes on every cute girls I see in the street so I'm just very gay))

Jealous of people : Who were born English speakers ((yeah petty I know)) and people who don't have anxiety stopping them from doing what they want or like, people who are happy in a relationship

Love at first sight? : As I said before, I want to marry any cute girl I see on the street so YA

Middle name : I got two! Elsa and Blanche

Number of siblings : got the coolest sister on earth and that's it

One wish : uuh girlfriend whom I love a lot and she loves me too a lot and it's nice ((also for the world to not be such a shitshow sometimes))

Person I last called : One of my art teachersss

Questions I'm always asked : How are your hands so small?? ((Born like this)) The fuck happened to your wrists? ((Also born like this and no it doesn't hurt))Were your parents English?? ((Nope my dad speaks English as good as I am mayor)) Can I see your sketchbook ?? ((Sure just don't judge me please))

Song you last sang : Helpless from Hamilton, that absolutely BANGER with my fav girl

Time you woke up : 6:45 am ((eyy school dayyy lemme sleep))

Vacation destination : London!!! Or a Sunny place with old architecture, the beach and overgrown plants everywhere like Italy or smt

Worst habit : My anxiety and phobias being lil shits

X-Rays : uuu I did get some when I was a kid I guess? Like on my foot or my teeth? Why is this on here

Your favorite food : I fuckinf love salmon, especially sushi salmon,, call me a basic bitch but I just really love sushis ((sea food is good shush)) but I ADORE sponge cakes!!! Yayaya

Zodiac sign : Cancer (20th of July) go ahead, get all your bad jokes out of your system I'll wait 🦀🦀♋️

And Imma tag @arii-chii !!! >:D

#SavoieText #question memes #woop woop thanks pops that was fun

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story-monster · 6 years

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Mawwage

I’M BACK

Dun dun duuuuuuun

I took a few weeks’ break to enjoy the married life, that dweam wifin a dweam.

Being married is AWESOME. I totally recommend it. Definitely worth taking a break for. But it does mean I’ve got a lot of catching up to do! There’s all these great stories about married life, the honeymoon (a Caribbean cruise…it was fabulous), moving houses, everything…things have been crazy. In fact, I shouldn’t be blogging at all. I should be cleaning or writing thank-you notes. (Er…what is the etiquette for those, anyway? I hope it’s not like within a month after the wedding or I am in big trouble. They are coming, I swear!)

This post today is about THE WEDDING.

There is SO MUCH to say about the wedding. This is going to be a BIG blog post. Brace yourselves.

We didn’t have much time to plan the wedding. It was a 2-month engagement. We are old and don’t mess around. Thankfully, I had The World’s Most Beautiful Wedding Dress™ already hanging in my closet, so I didn’t need to worry about that!*

*pictures below

I also put together style guides for all the vendors and bridesmaids and everyone involved. A style guide is basically a library of pictures and direction for what the project will look like. (Being an animation director teaches you things).

(The decorators looked at me like I was crazy when I handed this to them haha.)

The colors were white, ivory, and rose gold. I wanted to channel a very classy, vintage feel (with a touch of Mary Poppins.) I ended up loving these colors even more than I expected. They are just glamorous.

My cousin Melisa, a pastry chef, worked the cake, and Jen’s Bowdacious Bows worked on the floral and Waffle Love got reserved for catering and gosh everything just came together like a dream!

There were a few hiccups.

Like, I had no idea how much food to order. Mormon weddings are more of an open house, so you’re not quite sure how many people will show up. I stressed a bit over that.

300 less than what I ordered, it turns out.

The decorators were really frustrating to work with. (They were pretty unorganized.) I tried hard to not be a bridezilla…

But I was.

I ended up making the centerpieces.

Actually my friend Susan Arnita put the centerpieces together.

Look at how beautiful they turned out!

WOW

But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

FIRST: PICTURES!!

We got bridals/groomals done a couple of weeks before the wedding, on March 9th. This turned out to be a really good idea, because the weather was beautiful. Here are a few of my favorites:

(That DRESS, AMIRIGHT??)

^^Check out that leap. The Handsome used to be a BYU folk dancer and he has some grasshopper in his blood, I think.

Love the movement in that one

It was cloudy, but the sun came out at just the right time.

^^The picture is my favorite of them all.

GUH he’s SO dreamy <3 <3 <3

^^LOVE that bouquet. I wanted something that was glittery and pearly but soft and loose, not tight and ball-y like a lot of brooch bouquets and by golly, Jen delivered. She even made black leaves for it, it turned out sooo pretty. I have it in a vase on my kitchen table now.

I also let some of my goofy side show.

#constancehatchaway

The Handsome thought it was HILARIOUS. Our photographer, Patti Deru, was like: “I don’t understand it, but I like it!”

…but my poor mom was horrified. She didn’t want me to share these on social media.

Sorry mom.

The Handsome let some of his goofy side show, too.

Lol ^_^

Those were the bridals. (BTW, is bridals/groomals just a Utah thing? I had a couple of people asking if that was normal here. I’m actually not sure…I thought everyone did bridals, but I kind of live under a rock. Maybe someone can tell me in the comments.)

The wedding day came fast and not fast enough. A week before, the forecast looked like this:

Which was comforting.

I woke up around 5:30 AM and went to my hair person, Cindy Peterson, and she did my hair gorgeous.

I don’t have a close up pic of that but it was beautiful.

Then I headless chickened while getting ready, making sure I had my temple recommend, clothes, makeup, shoes, everything, before we headed to Salt Lake to get married here:

WOW

Didn’t take pictures inside (of course), but it was a really nice ceremony. I loved going into the sealing room and seeing the smiling faces of all my family. It made me all teary-eyed.

I nearly said “Yes” at the wrong time, and I was blushing crimson for the rest of the ceremony.

But it was still amazing.

We were released into the wild :)

The kids were so excited to see us. They welcomed Uncle Brent into the family.

Haha I have like a million nieces and nephews.

I inherited a new niece and nephew, too!

Ava, who’s 5, gave me a big hug.

I met Ava over Christmas, and she is so sweet. When she found out that I lived all alone in my townhouse, she was heartbroken.

And I was like:

And Ava was like

Hey, yeah! I could marry a homeless guy! Hahaha!

(Brent didn’t like that idea.)

Lololol. Kids are the best.

Magically, the weather held up. No rain or snow, but a storm blew up and made the pictures more interesting.

Me with my bridesmaids (and maid & matron of honor.) They were my sisters :) :)

I’m pretty sure Katie was there, too.

I had Jr. Bridesmaids too (my nieces.) They were fantastic!

It was so great to have all the family there.

After lunch at the Old Spaghetti Factory, it was RECEPTION TIME.

The church was really dolled up.

The cake, & waffles

I loved seeing all our friends and neighbors come through <3

Hahaha a big group of “Entwined” fans even came!

Awesome ^_^

My sis Emily played the piano.

She played all the best songs, everything from Mary Poppins and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Slipper and the Rose, it was a Sherman Brothers Spectacle. She knows just what I love #^_^#

The sign on the piano, it says: “All the Single Ladies – Please Take a Rose in Lieu of a Bouquet Throw.”

I didn’t want a bouquet throw at my wedding. I’ve never liked them–it’s just so sad that only one person gets the bouquet. I wanted everyone to have one. So, all the single ladies got roses.

They loved it :)

The cake cutting

Mmmm lemon raspberry.

(No face-smashing. My hands were shaking so bad it’s lucky I even got it into his mouth, lol.)

The Handsome surprised me with “Some Enchanted Evening.”

It was lovely and romantic. What a voice! (I’ll upload this recording to my youtube channel.)

And then, it was time for The Dance.

A few weeks before the wedding, I told The Handsome how much I wanted to dance the Cinderella Waltz at my wedding.

He was ON IT. (Seriously, what a dream boy!)

We spent a lot of hours getting it down.

I was sooo nervous…but it turned out great :)

youtube

A big thanks to all the people who sent me their recordings so I could cut it together.

End of the night. We made an exit.

That was magical too :)

AAAAH and the bridesmaids had decorated the car like a BOSS.

It was exactly the way a car ought to be decorated. It was gorgeous.

It had been a magical day.

Here’s to a lifetime of many more <3 <3 <3

(I really hope they’re less expensive, though.)

Thank you so much to everyone who came! I really loved seeing you all. There’s nothing better than to have the best people celebrate with you on the best day.

(Side note: some of the gifts didn’t have cards or we lost them. I’d love to send a thank you! Can you contact me if any of the gifts below are from you? (They really are lovely!))

And now…time to write those thank you notes.

Mawwage was originally published on Story Monster

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dorsey-m · 6 years

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Modern Newsies Headcanons About Crutchie Because He’s My Favorite Ray Of Sunshine And I Love Him

This boy loves Book of Mormon

He loves Broadway in general, but BOM is his favorite.

He can sing every word from the show. Don’t even test him, because he will to prove you wrong.

On Halloween once he cosplayed as Elder Poptarts

ANYWAYS his favorite ride at Disney is either the Peter Pan one or Rock and Roll Roller coaster

As stated in a different post, ya boi is fluent in German

He can fucking fight for himself. And not just with the crutch, because this kid can throw a mean punch

He says “come at me bro” and “fight me” way too much

His name in every single groupchat he’s in is either Peter Pansexual or Paul McCrutchie

His tumblr page is all musicals, The Beatles, and aesthetic pictures/posts

He takes awesome photos

Candids are his specialty, and his blog is covered in pictures of his friends

He can quote every line from the office

He secretly loves piggy back rides (but don’t we all?)

Though usually he doesn’t like to be carried, sometimes he’s just in the mood for a piggy back ride

He’s the most festive person out there

At any given holiday get ready to fucking party

Sometimes he celebrates random day to day holidays.

National cake day? He’s bringing in cupcakes for the whole gang

Musical theater child

He’s in every school production

He encourages the gang to join the theater department. whether it be backstage, onstage or tech, they should join up because it’d be sooo much fun

Eventually the whole gang joins and it’s hella rad

This child can SING

He has the voice of an angel

He’s always able to get replies/like/follows from celebrities on twitter. no one knows how he does it. they just...flock to him.

He’s got a famous Vine account

It’s goofy/musical stuff with him and the gang

He’s done some Vines and YouTube videos with Thomas Sanders

He basically just uses Facebook to keep up with his friends.

His last post was in 2015 and was an adorable dog meme

He and Spot are adopted brothers

They are both incredibly protective of each other

When Crutchie, Davey, and Jack stared dating, Spot threatened Jack and Davey. He said “if you hurt him, no one will ever find you again.”

When Race and Spot started dating, Crutchie sat Race down and stared at him for a solid three minutes. Then in a menacing voice, he whispered: “if you hurt him, I will destroy you.”

Hope you enjoyed!

#Newsies #newsies headcanons #crutchie #jack/crutchie/david #spot conlon #racetrack #sprace #crutchie and spot are brothers #crutchie headcanons #thomas sanders #theater #vine #The Beatles #the book of mormon #broadway headcanons #Broadway #headcanons #twitter #the office

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cksmart-world · 3 years

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The completely unnecessary news analysis

by Christopher Smart

February 16, 2021

MIKE LEE'S GRANDCHILDREN: WHO'S MIKE LEE?

Bob: Man, that takeover of the Capitol on Jan. 6 was sure nasty.

Mike Lee: What takeover?

Bob: You know, the one where a cop got killed and a woman was shot to death.

Mike Lee: I really didn't notice.

Bob: Remember Trump told all his groupies to come to D.C. and then he told thousands of them to march to the Capitol and take back the country from evil Democrats.

Mike Lee: Well, I don't think Trump had anything to do with that. It just kinda happened.

Bob: No, no, no. For two months Trump said the election was stolen and Fox said it was stolen and Trump said come to D.C. on Jan. 6, it will be wild.

Mike Lee: I think that was Antifa and Black Lives Matter. White people wouldn't do that. White people are patriots — at least the Republicans are.

Bob: Didn't you see all the video of the Proud Boys and the Oath Keepers and the Shaman with horns? They were beating on cops and tearing the Capitol to bits. They wanted to hang Mike Pence and Nancy Pelosi.

Mike Lee: Video? What Video?

Bob: Come on, Trump was trying to overthrow our democracy. He called the election rigged and got his groupies frothing at the mouth.

Mike Lee: President Trump is like Abe Lincoln. Maybe he should just take a Mulligan.

Bob: Hey Mike, your unborn grandchildren will disown you. And you deserve it.

“TASTELESS” HOUSEWIVES OF SLC HITS THE BIG TIME

Salt Lake Tribune ace Scott Pierce must be doing backflips now that “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” reality TV show is featured in the recent issue of the high-brow New Yorker magazine. Scott likes to keep his readers up to date on every thing those “housewives” are up to. They hang around their McMansions in low-cut cocktail dresses, pearls and spike heels. And when they get together — look out. In one segment Jen Shaw retorts to a slight from Mary Crosby, saying, “Well, you fucked your grandfather.” And it's true: Mary got her family's empire of Pentecostal churches and she's loaded. But to do it she had to marry her dead grandmother's second husband — her own step-grandfather. (You can't make this stuff up.) The foil for a lot of their real lives, of course, is the Mormon church. As Doreen St. Felix writes, Real Housewives of SLC incorporates “cultural politics into the sketchy morality of a guilty pleasure.” No wonder Scott's readers love it. The staff here at Smart Bomb is just guessing, but Scott's columns on “Housewives” probably get more web hits than say a bill pending in the Legislature to relax requirements for cosmetologists. But don't expect anyone at church to bear testimony relating to “Housewives,” 'cause nobody in the ward has ever seen it. Hey Wilson, no laughing.

THOSE DAMN HOMELESS PEOPLE AND THEIR POOP

Why don't they do something about all the homeless people. They say it's all Reagan's fault because he closed mental facilities and slashed the budget for affordable housing. But that was 40 years ago and there're still people with mental illness on the street and no affordable housing. So why doesn't the mayor wave a magic wand and make it go away? Some people say the minimum wage of $7.35 and rents that start at $900 a month make it impossible for low wage earners to make it. But why don't those single moms with little kids just pull themselves up by their bootstraps, like Burgess Owens. There are well over a million homeless Americans and they don't have toilets or trash cans. That's why there's garbage and poop where they camp — even downtown. Some people think they like being homeless so they can live out in the rain and drink warm beer and poop behind dumpsters. Police hassle them 'cause camping is illegal. Ben McAdams and Gary Herbert tried to fix it, but after all that talk, they couldn't. Maybe the problem is bigger than we'd like to admit. Homeless people don't have any pull in Washington, so the next time you step in poop, you might want to wrap it up and send it to Burgess Owens and Chris Stewart. It probably won't help but you'll feel better.

Post script — Holy history. People are going to be writing about this past week for decades to come and it won't be pretty. The president, who had just lost an election, fomented an insurrection in order to stay in office. Of course, Republicans refused to convict him after he was impeached. But like Republican Senate Leader Mitch McConnell said, Trump was absolutely responsible for the rebellion. Then McConnell voted to acquit. So in keeping with the season, the staff here at Smart Bomb is giving it's Marie Antoinette Smartie Award to McConnell for “Eating His Cake and Having It, Too.” For his part in the insurrection, in which he was the first senator who would not certify Joe Biden's election, Missouri Sen. Josh Hawley wins the Jefferson Davis Smartie for stirring insurgency and then retreating to the rear with a smirk of self-righteousness. His sleazy compatriot, Sen. Ted Cruz, just couldn't stay out of the limelight, either. He gets the Aaron Burr Award for his insidious patriotic subterfuge. The staff here at Smart Bomb saved the biggest Smartie of all, the Benedict Arnold Award, for Sen. Lindsay Graham of South Carolina and his ability to kiss Trump's ass even while complementing the Emperor on his New Clothes. Now that's multi-tasking.

Well, Wilson, that was one hell of a week. We know the guys in the band had to seek sedation to stay sane, but tell me they're thinking clearly enough to make some sense of ... whatever this is and play something to help us through these trying times:

Well, did you ever wake up, With them bullfrogs on your mind? Well, did you ever wake up, With them bullfrogs on your mind? You had to sit there laughin', Laughin' just to keep from crying. My mother got em, My father got em, My sister got em, My brother got em. I woke up this morning, My grandmother had them too, Well, don't you know about that, I got the bullfrog blues. Bullfrog

Well, did you ever wake up, With them bullfrogs on your mind? Well, did you ever wake up, With them bullfrogs on your mind? You had to sit there laughin', Laughin' just to keep from crying.

(Bullfrog Blues — Canned Heat)

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retrauxpunk · 7 years

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retrauxpunk trivia

Tagged by @i-just-love-good-music! Thank you! (:

What’s your favorite musical?

The Book of Mormon (Wicked is a close second)

How do you get to sleep?

The standard boring lie-down-wait-fall-asleep method if I’m with my boyfriend, staying up late and tiring myself out drawing/reading/browsing if I’m alone

What happened at the last party you went to?

I ate lots of food, became lightly drunk, had glitter applied to my face, acquired a flower crown, danced to Bruno Mars songs, and talked to a lot of computer programmers.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette?

Of sorts…

What’s your hair like at this present moment?

Like a shaggy pixie cut, tealy blue (with a couple months’ black regrowth). I love it.

Are you more comfortable sitting or lying down?

Sitting for most things, lying down for like… making out and stuff

What’s the worst film you’ve ever seen?

Assassin’s Creed. I even wrote a review about it because it was so bad, which you can read here.

Are you an untidy person?

A little.

Have you ever been a fan of *NSYNC?

Nope

Do you watch a lot of television?

Not really, but once I get into a show then I tend to binge

Do you think you’re fat sometimes?

Nah

Do you like to flex your muscles?

Every now and then it brings me joy to see that after months of sporadic and infrequent going to the gym, I actually have things resembling biceps now (if I flex).

Do you think you’ll ever get plastic surgery?

Unless it’s some blisteringly cool yet 100% safe sci-fi-esque body mod, no.

Have you ever completely misunderstood what somebody was saying?

Hasn’t everyone?

Favorite kind of cake:

CHEESECAKE. FUCK ME UP. I FUCKING LOVE CHEESECAKE. Lemon, berry, and chocolate flavours are great.

Was it a boy or a girl to text you last?

Boy

Name something you are doing tomorrow?

Being home so the BT guy can come and set up Internet

Do you sleep on your stomach?

Nah

Where are you going to be at 4 PM tomorrow?

Home probably? Or at the gym maybe.

Last time you saw fireworks, with whom & where?

I can’t remember exactly, but I think it was New Year’s Eve 2015, with my boyfriend in a riverside park in Hamburg.

Are you missing someone?

Nah

Do you like horror or comedy?

Comedy please

Who did you last share a taxi with?

Boyfriend

Dogs or cats?

How dare you make me choose. I choose this: a cat with the personality of a dog.

What were you doing at 12 this afternoon?

It’s not 12 yet … yesterday I was at the Notting Hill Carnival, which I have realised is not really my jam but oh well I tried

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?

Probably

What’s your favorite season? Why?

Autumn because the leaves are gorgeous, it’s a good temperature, and I don’t know if it’s true or not but I have this weird idea that it rains more in spring than autumn so yeah, autumn please.

When’s the last time you did something you knew was wrong?

Lost my temper and snapped (as in verbally) … today? Yesterday? Hasn’t been an excellent past 24 hours…

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up?

Literally no-one texts me (because the Internet exists)

Who was the last person you hugged?

My boyfriend

Do you think you would be a good parent?

Yes … but I really don’t want to be one.

When was the last time you cried?

This morning haha fun times

Who was driving the last time you were in a car?

The Uber driver

Does any part of your body hurt right now?

Sore abs if I move/cough/sneeze.

Do you like your bed?

It is nondescript but comfortable, so yeah?

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes

When did you last talk to your brother or sister?

I have neither

Do you ever want to know who you are going to marry?

Ehh. I’ll wait.

How much cash do you have on you?

£42?

Are you tanned?

I don’t think so …I live in the UK so that must be a no

Did you get any compliments today?

Nope

Have you ever gone to court?

Visited a courthouse on a school excursion, but thankfully have never had to go for legal reasons oh my god I hope I never have to set foot in a courtroom in my life

Do you get jealous easily?

Hell yes lmao

Would you ever want to swim with the sharks?

I would (and have, once) scuba dived in the presence of non-aggressive sharks. It was awesome. I mean, I just saw one grey nurse shark, but I was a few metres from it, and it was great.

What are you doing Saturday?

I think I’m seeing a comedy show…

What is in your back pocket?

I am typing this while naked in bed

What were you doing at 3 AM this morning?

Browsing the net because I was feeling shite, and chatting to a friend

What do you usually do first in the morning?

Check my phone because that’s what we’re like these days

Are you any good at math?

HAHAHA no

Any plans for Friday night?

Nope

Do you have a little crush on someone?

Nah. I mean, besides the steady celebrity crush on Roger Waters throughout the ages but with the exception of the immediate post-Floyd era.

How old is the last person you kissed?

Why did you kiss the person you last kissed?

He was leaving for work and we were saying goodbye

Tagging: @younglusts @the-division-barrett @richard-are-youready @nicholasberkeleymason and anyone who wants to do this!

#hmmm #about me

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appleflavoredkitkats · 7 years

Text

Book of Mormon Fanfiction Recommendations (Mostly McPriceley)

These are my favorite Book of Mormon fanfictions. These are mostly McPriceley because most more than half of the fanfictions that the Book of Mormon archive has is McPriceley. This is a much bigger list than my other one. Extras at the end and if I find more in the future, check the notes.

Bold and italicized are my favorites.

I do not own any of these.

McPriceley

1. Little Syncopations

Five times Elder Price made matters terribly frustrating for Elder McKinley…well, sort of.

2. The Size of Orlando, Florida

“What are you keeping from me?” Elder McKinley asks. “I’m supposed to be your district leader, Ke- Elder, and I have to say you’re making it darn near impossible. I try to ask how you’re doing, I try to show you I’m there for you, I try to make sure you feel valued and supported by m- us, and you just… run away! Every single time, Elder! I’ve had enough of it! I will not let you leave this room until you feel cared for.”Kevin Price has everything under control… except for his inappropriate reaction to his district leader.

3. Saints of a Different Kind

Elder Price realizes he might have more than platonic feelings for Elder McKinley at a super inconvenient time. Also, he’s 100000% straight, so that makes no sense. Ignoring it should work! He will just sit there, consumed with lust for the rest of the evening.

4. just not telling the whole truth

That’s why Elder Price is safe to like, is safe to dote over, is safe to fantasize about, because he can learn to feel more comfortable with his – with his alternate thoughts, if you will, without any fear of his thoughts being reciprocated. Without his reoccurring fear that any close bond he forms with a man will crumble in on itself due to his own discomfort and self-hatred just like it did with Steve.He learns that he shouldn’t love boys years before he realizes he does, he learns that he doesn’t love himself years before he realizes he should, and he learns that he can do both less than one year after he meets Elder Price.

5. Settling for More

He wanted to kiss Kevin. He wanted to do more than just kiss Kevin.He couldn’t tell Kevin he wanted that.

6. Sing For Ourselves Alone

In which Connor is a flirty drunk and Kevin is a dork.

7. Of Pop Tarts And Elephants

In which there is a completely reasonable, heterosexual explanation for why Kevin can’t stop thinking about Elder McKinley. Also, the Game of Life is played.

8. Sardines

The Elders of District 9 decide to play a game of Sardines and end up packed into a closet and Kevin can’t keep his hands to himself.

9. Cookies and Confidences (Cunningham/Nabulungi)

Elder McKinley and Nabulungi talk about their boy problems.

10. As It Is

In a world where people’s first touches leave a spot of color on each others’ skin, some more vivid than other, Kevin has never given much thought to how and when he will receive his actual soulmate mark.

11. Rules Are Overrated

Elder McKinley twirls the feather between his fingers which, for some reason, spurs Elder Price into a choking fit. “May I ask what I was doing?”

Elder Price mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like, “More like who,” but he’s still coughing a little and Elder McKinley can’t be sure that he heard correctly.

(In which Elder McKinley finally finds out that he was in Elder Price’s hell dream).

12. miserably, honestly, imperceptively

“Does he make your heart kind of flutter?” Arnold asked one day.

Kevin felt like he couldn’t breathe as he choked out, “Yes.”

“Does he make your eyes sort of blur?” Nabulungi asked, on his other side.

Kevin closed them and said, “Oh no.”

13. Of Coffee and Kisses

Elder Price couldn’t sleep that night. Turns out, he wasn’t the only one.

14. A Minor Crisis

It was Elder McKinley’s birthday, and they did not have a cake.

15. Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?

It isn’t long after Elder Price and Elder Cunningham appear in Uganda that Connor McKinley realizes that Turning It Off is going to be a lot harder than it used to be.

16. 5 Times Elders Price and McKinley Accidentally Flirted With Each Other And One Time They Did It On Purpose

While Elder Price and Elder McKinley are both talented at many things, neither of them are adapt at flirting, especially not with each other.

17. Maybe

Caught in a violent storm during a shopping trip in town, Elder McKinley and Elder Price are forced to check in to a hotel overnight.

18. With a Sunflower Tie

“Connor waves him off, grinning in delight. ‘No, that’s fine, it’s just a little… well, unconventional. I kind of assumed you’d be more of a vanilla guy, but… wow, Kevin Price has a kink. I don’t suppose you want me to tie you up or anything while I’m at it?’

Holy crap. 'Geez, Connor,’ Kevin says, pressing one hand firmly to his crotch. 'You can’t just say things like that.’ He didn’t even know that was a turn on until it passed Connor’s lips.”

19. lean into the unexpected

Kevin remembers, when he was younger, being mesmerized by the idea of having a soulmate. Seeing his mother’s name in her neat script on his father’s wrist, just there all the time, made him want his own; every time he asked about it, he was always just met with a shrug and the same answer of “You’ll know eventually.” The thing was, he didn’t want to wait for eventually. He wanted to know now. He wanted that name to be there so he could start looking for her, but no adult would tell him anything.

20. Soul-Eater

"Shame is a soul-eating emotion.“ - Carl Jung

21. Graceful

Connor McKinley never really considered himself exceptionally graceful, but years of dance lessons had left a mark. A great sense of balance, good posture, quick reflexes – Connor didn’t realize how much he took it all for granted until the day Kevin Price walked into the mission hut and turned him into a clumsy oaf.

22. McPriceley Prompts

a collection of short one-shots inspired by this tumblr post I found (which I would link if I knew how to do that in an AO3 summary)

All of it is in the same universe (canon Uganda), but each prompt exists by itself.

23. Shifting Priorities

The Hell dreams have been getting worse. Ever since Kevin Price strode into Connor’s life, they’ve been getting worse, so bad that he resolves that the only solution is to stop sleeping.

It’s a temporary solution. Connor knew it wouldn’t last forever. He didn’t think, however, that Kevin would be by Connor’s side when he awoke from the Hell dream, didn’t think Kevin would care so much when he woke up screaming, or wonder why he was still crying.

He didn’t think anyone would care at all. He’s not sure he understands it.

24. In-Between

The Christmases of 2011-2013 are entirely different, yet never bad.

25. you’re my christmas present this year

Christmas in Uganda is… different, to Christmas at home.

26. A Portrait of Kevin Price as a Young Mormon

“Get lost,” says Connor, smiling. “We are nineteen years old, we have our whole lives ahead of us. Screw secure futures. It’s about here and now, right?”

Kevin nods. “Latter Day doesn’t mean afterlife, it means tomorrow.”

“Right,” Connor says. He hums to himself, a tune that Kevin doesn’t recognise. “Screw the past, too.” “Aye aye, Captain,” says Kevin. “Screw the past.” Or; Arnold is the greatest best friend in the world, Connor is a jerk, and Kevin Price is hot and bothered.

27. Team Building

McKinley suggests a board game night and somehow ends up in a closet with Elder Price.

28. Right. Anyway. Off.

"five times McKinley says he doesn’t love Kevin, and the one time he admits it."

29. The District Leader Is Short

Being short wasn’t so bad for Connor McKinley. It meant he was always in the front for dance recitals and never had to worry about ducking his head. The only downside to being as tall as of a middle schooler was having to look up to Elder Price, which really wasn’t all that much of a downside.

(Basically, Connor needs someone who can reach all the tall things and Kevin accidentally gets the job.)

30. The Pros and Cons of Breathing

"It wasn’t until the third night he refused kitchen duty that they started to worry.”

31. Telephone Wire

Your run-of-the-mill Mcpriceley: Connor has some serious self-esteem issues, Hell dreams, romantic talks by a lake in the fine Ugandan wilderness…

32. Oh..

In which Connor has a HUGE crush on Kevin and Kevin likes him back, but Kevin himself is the last person in Uganda to realize.

33. Touch Me

The elders of District Nine are all, as a rule, unimpressive alphas or betas, except for Elders Cunningham and Price. They are poor, unfortunate, unmanifested souls; people without a secondary gender. At least, they were.

34. Loathing Self-Assassination

No one is going to worry about him. As much as it hurts, he knows that he doesn’t deserve to be worried about. He doesn’t deserve to be spoiled and pampered with attention. But that doesn’t stop him from thinking about it miserably sometimes. Oh, how nice it would be to have someone dote on him. Comfort him. Love him. But who could ever love pathetic Connor McKinley?

Sometimes, on those self-indulgent nights, he thinks that someone is Kevin Price.

35. Almost As Exciting As Orlando

Kevin Price is a great Secret Santa.

36. Seven Boxes

“i did that annoying thing where i put loads of smaller boxes inside one big box and you’re getting really mad but you don’t know that the ring is in the smallest box and i can’t wait to see your face”

37. Imitation

When Kevin finds himself having gay thoughts, he turns to the resident expert on them to sort them out and ends up getting more than he bargained for.

38. National Hug Day

Even back home in Utah Connor suspects that there will probably be times when he’ll need to keep his elders’ spirits up, and how better than by celebrating some fun holidays together?

39. Poster Child

Connor was convinced that God was slowly mending his sinful, perverse mind. He wasn’t having a difficult time turning it off, the other Elders were handsome, but they weren’t his style.

That was until he showed up and ruined everything with his stupid beautiful face and his obnoxiously endearing ego.

Elder Kevin Price, the gosh darn b-word!

40. You’re A Good Mormon, Elder Price

The missionaries are assigned new companions for the next three months, and Elder Price’s new roommate brings out things in himself he never thought he was capable of.

41. Three Times Arnold Didn’t Get It (And The One Time Kevin Spelled It Out For Him)

Not bothering to knock, he opens the door to their quarters and says, “Oh Battlestar Galactica!” Which wasn’t what he was going to say, but when he sees a very shirtless Elder McKinley straddling an equally shirtless Kevin Price, all rehearsed dialogue goes flying out the window. :: - :: Arnold knows he can be a little dense about some things but to consistently miss the fact that his district leader has been boning his best friend? That has got to be some sort of feat.

42. Butterfly Kisses and Birthday Wishes

A stolen caress and inadvertent cuddle during Movie Night plunges Connor McKinley and Kevin Price into their first ever romantic relationship in post-canon Uganda. As their relationship progresses, Kevin tries to move things a little bit faster than Connor is ready for, but eventually the time is right for both of them.

Or shameless McPricely fluff where Connor and Kevin share all of their firsts together.

43. Sydney Carton Doesn’t Have Shit On Me

Connor McKinley has Great Expectations, and arrogant, brooding, straight Kevin Price is most definitely not his dashing, heroic love interest. Seriously.

44. “Obviously You Are Not Skilled In The Art Of Doing Things You Aren’t Supposed To.”

Sentence Prompt #11- “"Obviously you are not skilled in The Art Of Doing Things You Aren’t Supposed To.”

45. “Hey! My Eyes Are Up Here!”

Sentence Prompt #2- “Hey! My eyes are up here!”

46. “How Much Does It Hurt?”

Sentence Prompt #17- “How much does it hurt?”

47. Latter-Day Blues

“Our rules can change too, guys. I really don’t think anything bad will happen if we let a few of those things slide — I mean, who here is going to care now?” In which the Church washes its hands of the Uganda mission, leaving a bunch of confused, abandoned boys who are unaccustomed to freedom in its wake.

48. Untitled

49. In All My Years

Connor has had many things happen in his life. Ballet lessons, rejection, and first loves. This is a look into eight different parts of his life.

50. .laundry

(drabble) prompt fill: slow dancing

51. .malaria

(drabble) prompt fill: caring for the other when sick

52. Want To Talk About It?

Kevin can’t sleep, it’s Connor’s fault.

53. Season of Love

Connor hasn’t been to church in a very, very long time.

54. Blue and Pink

Connor McKinley looks in the mirror.

55. Tan and White

Sequel to “Blue and Pink”

56. Desperation

Arnold then grinned mischievously. He sat up to face Elder Thomas. “Well, Poptarts, if you’re in, we could do a spot of matchmaking.”

Nothing ever seems to happen between Connor McKinley and Kevin Price, except longing looks and gentle brushes that are just platonic enough to not imply anything. Chris and Arnold think that something should be done.

57. Turn It Off

“Where’s your 'nifty, little Mormon trick,’ now? What good is it if you can’t use it when you need it most?”

58. Baby Steps (To Our Paradise Planet)

Elder Price was something else, he really was. Boys like him were the reason Elder McKinley came up with his entire lightswitch coping mechanism in the first place, and boys like him were why the lightswitch coping mechanism did not actually tend to work very well. Sure, in theory, it worked like a charm; memories of the fifth grade could be flicked off just like that. Everybody did that. Everybody did not have to look Elder Price in his glowing, grinning face and pretend that they were not halfway in love with him.

59. Poorboys and Pilgrims

Officially the remaining Elders are running themselves as a collective in the absence of their District Leader. But to nobody’s surprise Elder Price has declared himself in charge. You can lead a horse away from conventional Mormonism but you cannot force him not to be self-important and overly-righteous, even if this the new and improved Elder Price has learnt a little humility alongside his propensity towards vulgarity.

(Or, Elder McKinley and Elder Thomas go missing after a routine trip.)

60. Rarefied Air

“Elder Price,” and Connor only called him that half wistfully and half in jest, although he looked deadly serious now, “are you attracted to me?” “No,” said Kevin, decisively. And even though it was the right answer, Kevin blushed and looked away, as though he was lying. “Oh,” Connor said, face paling even as his smile widened, “that’s good.”

In which Kevin wishes to experience temptation. It proves harder than expected.’

61. Nocturne

Kevin is sick; Connor cares for him. The subconscious is a strange thing. Price/McKinley, indulgent sick!fic. Part of the same universe as Rags to Rags but can be read as a stand-alone.

62. Dead Guy Walking

Heathers the Musical Dead Girl Walking!AU

What it says on the tin. With the District 9 Uganda Mission shut down and the weight of disappointment from the Church and his family riding on his shoulders, Connor decides that Heaven Father can forgive him for one more sin.

63. What’s One More Broken Rule?

The alcohol had been a gift from the villagers and, after a particularly bad day, the ex-Elders need a bit of a pick-me-up. With lowered inhibitions, Connor McKinley really starts letting his feelings out.

64. Cockblocked

Elders Price and McKinley have been hitting it off recently and all they want is a moment alone, but their 'prophet’ has other ideas.

65. Rivers Run

Former Elder McKinley hadn’t know what to expect when he heard that Kevin Price had been in an accident.

66. Cooking from the Soul

When it came time to pack his bag for Uganda, Kevin Price decided to bring with him the one thing from home that he knew would help him get through the next two years. But then the General stole it, and now that he’s been driven out of village, Kevin wants it back.

67. Let Food Be Thy Medicine

Kevin and Connor head over to Kimbay’s house to learn about traditional Ugandan recipes.

68. Kiss the Cook

Four times Connor failed in the kitchen, and one time he didn’t.

69. So Close

“A drabble about a time McKinley wishes he was dead”

70. Until We Both Fall Asleep

After date night, Kevin and Connor share a bed for the first time. It’s easier said than done.

71. Something Magical

If someone had told Kevin Price before his mission that someday he’d make a list of Awesome Date Ideas because he wanted to ask out his district leader, he wouldn’t have believed them. The only problem was, he couldn’t think of any awesome date ideas. He couldn’t even think of any mediocre date ideas. Clearly, Disney was the answer.

72. Not Today

Price had grabbed his arm just seconds ago, a strong grip at the elbow, and dragged him outside with no explanation. The other elders in the kitchen, making dinner and talking loudly with each other about market day tomorrow, had hardly spared them a glance. Now they were alone.

73. Mission: Prom

“a drabble about McKinley dancing”

74. I Went To Your Funeral

Written for a tumblr prompt: “I THOUGHT YOU’VE BEEN DEAD. FOR TEN YEARS. WHY ARE YOU ON MY FRONT DOORSTEP. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN. WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME CRY LIKE THIS I HATE THAT I LOVE YOU AND WHY DID YOU EVEN LEAVE IN THE FIRST PLACE.”

75. Frogs

When life is at an all-time low for Kevin, he’s reunited with an old friend from his mission who acts as a perfect distraction.

76. Gemstones

Elder Price has trouble ignoring Elder McKinley’s eyes.

77. Let In Light, Banish Shade

They’ve sat through the worst of the summer but the heat is dry and intense and Connor can’t help but picture snow. The fresh, damp kiss of a new start on his skin. For a moment he could almost picture it, could almost feel snow instead of sweat in his hair. For most of them this is going to be their first Christmas away from home, it is certainly Connor’s first Christmas away from his family and as District Leader it is Connor who has a responsibility for the welfare of his Elders. He should be able to provide them this, to make their first Christmas in Africa something incredible, something special.

78. A Fire Escape Symphony

And you, with your new born eyes, Have you ever loved a man like I love him? Do you hurt but still feel alive, like never before?

Connor has never had fire marshal training, the Missionary Training Center had focused on how to engage ill at ease people in conversations about religion, or about proper attire and social cues. They hadn’t taught what to do in the case of disaster. Perhaps, thinking back on their mission, they should have done.

79. A Collection of Firsts

After breaking away from the Church, Kevin Price knew he would be experiencing a series of firsts in his life. He just never expected Elder McKinley to be involved in so many of them.

A brief look at the many firsts shared between Connor and Kevin in their rapidly evolving relationship.

80. 1 Year

"So you know how Naba is finally coming here later?"

"You have literally been talking about nothing else since we came back from Uganda last November."

"Anyway, I may have organised a teensy tiny party..."

One year after Kevin and Arnold's mission on Naba's arrival to America, Arnold organises a party- oh- and Kevin's having some difficulty with a crush.

81. Planet Orlando

AU where your soulmate's name is printed somewhere on your body.

Kevin finds out Elder McKinley's first name.

82. Easter in Uganda

The villagers and missionaries in Uganda participate in some fun Easter activities! Light, fluffy fun with no angst or smut

83. Sweet Understanding

After Kevin's parents kick him out for being gay, he moves in with Connor McKinley.

84. All The Time In The World

Of Disney movies, and ten o'clock curfew, and Connect Four, and plane sex, and a whole lot more.

85. My name is-

Connor and Kevin share names, a sweet moment and a terrible secret before bed.

86. Work in progress

“Hell’s not all fire and sulphur, you know. Sometimes Hell is being reminded every night of what you want so badly but you know that you can’t have. Torture isn’t just pain, it’s discomfort, disillusion, disassociation; it’s being shown happiness and having it ripped out from underneath you.”

Elder Price and Elder McKinley get some things off their chest after a few not-so-spooky Mormon Hell Dreams.

87. Burst

He's got all his feelings locked away.

88. from salt to shore

“You know, I- When I went to Orlando, when I was a kid, y’know- When I went to Orlando, we road tripped there."

Or- the McPriceley road trip fanfic we all needed.

89. Roommate Wanted

Connor is kicked out of his home. Kevin needs a roommate. That's it. That's the summary.

Others

1. Untitled

Mark 5:2-5

And when He was come out of the ship, immediately there met Him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit,

Who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, not with chains:

Because that he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been plucked asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him.

And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones.

2. 12 Cups of Coffee

Arnold shows up at twelve cups of coffee; Elder McKinley came at six.

3. Just the Flu

4. Scream

5. Forget About the Other Boy (ChurchTarts)

Poptarts hears Kevin and Connor having sex and gets upset because he wants Connor. But he finds comfort and a little bit more in Elder Church.

6. Not So Long Ago When I Was Five

Kevin’s bad attitude gets him turned into a little kid by the village shaman and the other Elders try to fix him

7. Like One of Your French Boys (ChurchTarts)

Chris volunteers to be the drawing model for James’ art project.

8. Some Assembly Required (Churchtarts)

James and Chris buy a new bed from IKEA and attempt to build it without the instructions.

9. Peep Show (Churchtarts)

Things are getting heated in the mission quarters, and Elder McKinley has set up webcams all around the house to find out who has been tinkering with the thermostat. Much to his, and soon-to-be-wed Cunningham and his best man’s surprise, it’s not just the thermostat that’s being tinkered with.

10 Threnody

Exodus 11:4,6

“And Moses said, Thus saith the LORD, About midnight will I go out into the midst of Egypt: And there shall be a great cry throughout all the land of Egypt, such as there was none like it, nor shall be like it any more.”

11. The Answer

12. The Lion and the Lamb

Sequel to Threnody.

13. Falling

14. Thanksgiving

The holidays are the worst time to be lonely.

15. Wine Free Wine (ChurchTarts)

PT and Church spend a quiet night in, that is until they are interrupted.

16. Four States, One Journey (Though McPriceley at the end, more mentions of college life)

Life throws so many things at you that you don't expect. Rejection. Addiction. Doubt. Divorce. But maybe, with the right people in your life, it can still be greater than you ever imagined. Chronicles of the characters' lives post-Uganda.

17. Plus Nine (Hinted McPriceley but not so obvious)

The plan was simple, he and Elder Cunningham would talk about their objectives at the airport, say goodbye to their families with a smile, a hug and a handshake and then they would board their flight. Perhaps pray together for their mission to be a success, read up on the documents the Missionary Training Center had given them about District Nine, and then the two of them would loosen their ties and put their seats back to rest. They could sleep on the plane and wake up fresh faced and ready to start the most important two years of their lives.

The plan had little reflection on reality.

Or; Elder Price has jetlag, canon... doesn't actually change at all.

18. The Three Times Chris Thomas Tried to be Sexy, and the One Time He Was (ChurchTarts)

All Chris wanted to do was make sure James knew how much he loved him.

19. The One Where They Sleep Together (ChurchTarts)

The first time Chris and James slept together, it was a little unexpected.

20. The Other Team (ChurchTarts)

High school was hard enough for Chris Thomas without an attractive football player trying to lure him out of the closet - for all the wrong reasons.

21. Eyes on the Road (ChurchTarts)

Chris and James get pulled over after some less-than-safe driving antics. (Vague smut, nothing M-worthy.)

22. Making a Date (ChurchTarts)

The reality of the distance between them finally starts to set in, and Chris and James just need to see each other again.

23. Prom Night (ChurchTarts)

James wanted to make sure that prom would be special.

24. Long Distance (ChurchTarts)

Chris thought he could handle a week away from James.

25. Show and Tell (ChurchTarts)

Christopher Thomas always gets what he wants.

26. The Phone Call (ChurchTarts)

Letting his family know about his diagnosis was hard enough on Chris to begin with.

27. No Turning Back (ChurchTarts)

They were at that point in their relationship where they realized there was no turning back.

28. One Day at a Time (ChurchTarts)

It all started with a cough.

29. Lovestruck (ChurchTarts)

James Church and Chris Thomas thought they knew everything about each other.

30. Heading Home (ChurchTarts)

With their mission reaching its end, Elder Church realizes he's got nowhere to go. Elder Thomas wants to give him the home he deserves.

31. For The Both of Us

It was the one day of the year Christopher Thomas was guaranteed to have a Hell dream.

32. Letting it Out (ChurchTarts)

Elder Thomas thinks it's about time for Elder Church to let all his feelings out.

MORE TO COME (if there are more fanfictions for this fandom).

639 notes · View notes

punk-as-funk · 7 years

Text

Tag 20 blogs you'd like to know better and have them answer the following...

Tagged by: @fangirling-sea-anemone

Zodiac: Gemini Rising, Libra Sun, Taurus Moon, Pisces Midheaven, Wood Ox.

Height: 5'4 ½ (which is hilarious considering some of my hobbies and the impressions I apparently give people).

Last Thing You Googled: Deltoid ligament tears (and other medical stuff); likely factoids on some random soccer player. Possibly the history of a particular country or region or ethnic group. Or lyrics to some song.

Favorite Music Artists: Geez… lately? Uhhh let’s skim through my Spotify playlists… The Prodigy (kind of my game music), American Authors, Gin Wigmore, Lorde, Florence + the Machine, Alessia Cara, Cake, X Ambassadors, Gorillaz, Grouplove, Matt & Kim, Ed Sheeran, Fun, Gnarls Barkley, Hayley Kiyoko, Vance Joy, Janelle Monae, Smash Mouth, The Chemical Brothers, The Knocks, Powers, Citizen Cope, Jesca Hoop, and more.

Song Stuck in Your Head?: Last 24 hours? “Shape of You” by Ed Sheeran. (Would LOVE for someone to do a group and queer af cover of that song, man. That would make my month.)

Last Movie You Watched: My patient’s parents were watching Assassin’s Creed last night, and subsequently learned that I used to love/play the shit out of some of those games (I mean, who DOESN’T want to stick it to The Man with the cunning use of parkour?).

What Are You Wearing Right Now?: A red “Annie Get Your Gun” T-Shirt I got from a thrift store years ago, navy boy’s gym shorts, comfy grey Skechers cross-walkers, all the usual undies. UPDATE: I am now at work, wearing scrubs. Surprise!

What Do You Post?: Depends on the blog in question. My main is mostly memes, jokes, political stuff, and personal stuff. Very SJW and not hiding/apologizing for it one bit. But my sideblogs are far more… themed and the range of what is typically posted on them is… fairly self evident? (I have a sideblogs link/tab somewhere on here.)

Why Did You Choose Your URL?: My ex-wife once said my characteristic of “angry, radical compassion and acceptance” was “punk as FUCK!.” For some reason that tickled the fuck out of me. So when I started my THIRD new (and current) main Tumblr, while drunk, I decided to make that my URL. Except I was drunk. So I made a typo. Which I also found hilarious. So I kept it. So.

Do You Have Any Other Blogs?: Yes. See, I have friends who like very different shit and one would complain about me posting soccer shit while another would complain about me posting gory nursing shit, or obsessing over video games, or spamming them with queer shit from TV shows. So I separated all that out into sideblogs, with the idea that y’all can follow what you like, forget what you don’t. (All my sideblogs have “rei” in their title, if that helps.)

What Did Your Past Relationship Teach You?: Severe trust issues. To not compromise where I’m going and all that I am for the sake of another. To not let my caring of others get exploited by those I should be able to trust the most, and subsequently nearly destroy me. I’m in my thirties now and I’m tired and over and done with all that shit. I get a whiff of codependency from others and my ass is gone. My path is my own. If our paths intersect for awhile and you wish to walk beside me, keep me company for awhile (long while, short while), fine. But my path is my own. I will not stray from it again.

Religious or Spiritual?: Kind of spiritually philosophical and linguistically curious. I love stories and sometimes ponder on what it all means. (Was raised conservative Episcopalian with Mormon and Methodist family members on the side, though. As you can tell that shit totally stuck. *sarcasm*)

Favorite Color: Bluegreens (teal, cyan, aquamarine).

Avg Hours of Sleep: Dude, I’m a nurse. *laughs* *cries*

Lucky Number: I like 144 because it’s 12 squared or (2^4)x(3^2) which for some reason my brain feels is this whole, complete, perfect thing that can be broken down in so, so many ways. It has a good feel to it.

Favorite Characters: Oh geez… what kind of media? Should I just… okay Mercy and Tracer and Zarya from Overwatch, uh Disco Stormtrooper, Rey and her starbros, Xena & Gabrielle, Raphael from TMNT (he’s not angry he’s painfully compassionate!), basically the entire main cast of Sense8, Tigress from Kung Fu Panda, Garrus from Mass Effect (he my bro), Varric and Isabella from Dragon Age (also my bros; we know what’s up), the Doctor from ST:V, Legolas (his husband the dwarf can come too), pretty much every character I can think of who is an archer, the entire main cast of Person of Interest, Kara “Starbuck” Thrace (my beautiful fucked up badass puppy; damn to the depths of media hell whoever decided to chickify her), Sara Lance, and a bunch of others too…

How Many Blankets Do You Sleep With?: I have a sheet, a blanket, a comforter, 1-4 regular pillows, and a body pillow I may sleep with in any sort of combination depending on the temp and my mood. I like heaviness on my body and half-assedly sleep-grappling (hilariously my ex was the absurd intense cuddler, not I), but I also hate feeling sweaty or like I’m suffocating or some limb is falling asleep / going numb.

Dream Job: Anything that would allow me to travel, play, create, and influence people in a positive manner. There’s enough suffering in the world already; I’d like to be one to ease it, not contribute to it. Also, what is life without a little adventure and curiosity?

#for the record Tumblr is not fucking kind nor compatible with this sort of thing #especially on mobile #this was the biggest pain in the ass to fill out and format #I hate Tumblr sometimes #personal #here's hoping that one perk of this cut is I can more easily edit this shit later

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jeroldlockettus · 5 years

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There’s a War on Sugar. Is It Justified? (Ep. 285 Rebroadcast)

(Photo Credit: MattyFlicks / flickr)

Some people argue that sugar should be regulated, like alcohol and tobacco, on the grounds that it’s addictive and toxic. How much sense does that make? We hear from a regulatory advocate, an evidence-based skeptic, a former F.D.A. commissioner — and the organizers of Milktoberfest.

Listen and subscribe to our podcast at Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or elsewhere. Below is a transcript of the episode, edited for readability. For more information on the people and ideas in the episode, see the links at the bottom of this post.

* * *

This week we’re bringing you one of our most popular episodes from the archive. Because we’re traveling. Our American listeners know why. To the rest of you: this is the week we all drive hundreds of miles to eat turkey — which isn’t that great, honestly — and pie, which is great. So we thought it’d be a good time to re-release this episode, called “There’s a War on Sugar. Is It Justified?”

[MUSIC: Jonathan Still, “Lederhosen”]

Surely you’re familiar with the beloved autumn festival that revolves around folk dancing and lots and lots of drinking …

LAYTON: Milktoberfest! The holiday for drinking milk and doing homework.

Okay, not what you were expecting. Bavaria has Oktoberfest; Brigham Young University, in Provo, Utah, has Milktoberfest — Brigham Young being a Mormon university, and therefore prohibiting the consumption of, among other substances, alcohol.

LAYTON: People don’t drink, but we still like to have a lot of fun.

Roger Layton, communications manager at the B.Y.U. library, helps produce Milktoberfest.

LAYTON: And so we thought, “Let’s just embrace that. Let’s just enjoy it.” We had a very energetic group of German folk dancers come in and perform, and we brought in cases and cases of chocolate milk. As soon as the milk was there and we said, “Go!” — it basically became a free-for-all.

OLDROYD: People love it because Milktoberfest was almost B.Y.U. lite or something like that.

That’s Brenna Oldroyd, a B.Y.U. student who helped put together Milktoberfest.

OLDROYD: Like, “Hey, this is what we love to drink all the time!”

The chocolate milk they’re drinking isn’t just any chocolate milk. It’s some pretty legendary chocolate milk, made in B.Y.U.’s own creamery.

LAYTON: If you show up at a party with chocolate milk, no one’s going to complain. It may seem a little childish, but people will drink it. It’s friendly, it’s safe, and it’s happy.

OLDROYD: And one of the great things about partying with chocolate milk is if you’re smart, you’re not going to throw up later. That’s a plus.

This all sounds pretty awesome, right? And wholesome, too — swapping out beer for chocolate milk. But is chocolate milk really as wholesome as it seems? Do you know how much sugar there is in one cup of chocolate milk? The answer is 24 grams — a bit more than you’d find in a standard serving of soda. And there are those who argue that the detriments of sugar — well, they’d argue that, from a metabolic standpoint at least, Milktoberfest isn’t much better than Oktoberfest.

Robert LUSTIG: We started comparing what sugar did versus what alcohol did, and we realized, you know what, sugar and alcohol do the exact same thing.

If you’ve been following health news in the last decade, you’ve likely noticed that there’s a war on sugar.

Belva DAVIS in a clip from KQED’s This Week in Northern California: An alarming rise in the rate of obesity and related health problems has prompted a nationwide movement to ban or restrict sugary drinks …

How justified is that war? Today’s episode was inspired by a question we received …

Saul ARNOW: Dear Freakonomics, My name is Saul Arnow, and I’m an 11-year-old listener from Chicago. I was wondering why sugar isn’t considered a drug even though it is addictive and stimulates the brain. Sincerely, Saul.

Okay, Saul — we’ll do our best to answer your question. Along the way, we’ll learn some sugar history:

Elizabeth ABBOTT: St. Thomas Aquinas, way back in the 13th century, pronounced sugar a medicine.

We’ll hear from some people who fully agree with you:

Robert LUSTIG: Now alcohol, tobacco, morphine and heroin clearly meet these four criteria.

Some people who don’t agree with you:

Richard KAHN: We have no clue, no real good evidence that it’s going to do any good whatsoever.

And we’ll hear about your sugar habits.

BOY: I tried to give it up once, but it didn’t work out at all because I’m addicted to sugar. I can’t help it.

* * *

[MUSIC: Paul Freitas, “Sugar Daddy” (from Salon de Cabaret)]

Before we get into the nitty-gritty on sugar, let me offer a sort of caveat.

KAHN: In general, nutrition studies are not very robust compared to many other fields in biological science.

That’s Richard Kahn.

KAHN: I’m the former chief scientific and medical officer of the American Diabetes Association.

So what’s the problem with nutrition studies?

KAHN: There are often no controls, no randomization, small number of subjects — it’s very difficult to conduct very robust, long-term studies on nutrition.

Okay, this is a really important point. It’s the kind of thing we talk about all the time on this program — the legitimacy of data, yada yada. But with nutrition, there are a few things going on that make it particularly tough. No. 1: this is about something that we all put in our mouth every day. Which means we all think of ourselves as experts. Unlike particle physics or financial engineering, this is something we all do all the time, so of course we know what we’re talking about. No. 2: most nutrition science is built on survey data — that is, asking people about what they’ve eaten, or asking them to keep food diaries, things like that. If you’ve been paying any attention at all to Freakonomics Radio over the years, you know this is a surefire way to gather some not-so-realistic, or at least not-so-robust data. And so, as Richard Kahn said, it can be a real challenge to run a really convincing nutrition study.

KAHN: Because people do not want to participate. They don’t want to alter their diet patterns for a long time and they don’t comply with the regimen of the instructions in the randomized trial.

Now, if we could take a few thousand people, and randomize them, and then control every single thing they ate and drank for a few years — well, that that’d be great. But, absent that, we do our best. We look for data. We ask questions. Starting here:

Stephen J. DUBNER: As a public health official in New York and at the national level, you’ve tried to stem AIDS and T.B. and pandemic flu. You’ve tried to prepare the public for a potential bioterror attacks. How, in light of those dangers, would you rank the consumption of sugar?

HAMBURG: Well, they’re very different threats. But we have to recognize that — while acute public health crises really demand all of our attention and get a lot of response — that how we live, what we eat, if we exercise, many aspects of our daily lives have the greatest impact on health and disease.

That’s Margaret Hamburg.

HAMBURG: I am a medical doctor and a public health professional who has served in government at many levels over many years now including most recently as the U.S. F.D.A. commissioner.

DUBNER: I wanted to ask you briefly about some F.D.A. definitions. When I read them I have to say they are somewhere between comical and incomprehensible. When the F.D.A. defines food, food additives, drugs and, then “substances generally regarded as safe.” So those are the categories. Which of these definitions apply to sugar?

HAMBURG: You know, I have to agree with you that many of the definitions are hard to penetrate.

DUBNER: I didn’t mean to slam you. I assumed you didn’t write them and that there were 40 lawyers between whoever wrote them and—

HAMBURG: No, no! Congress is responsible for some of it, and the F.D.A. lawyers for some of it. And, of course, many of these laws and regulations and guidances and definitions have evolved over many, many years. But it is complicated and confusing and it’s why there are almost as many lawyers as scientists at the F.D.A.

DUBNER: For instance, the very first thing: “food.” No. 1, “articles used for food or drink for man or other animals.” I can imagine that could easily fit within F.D.A. guidelines then, if it were used for food. Yep?

HAMBURG: It’s really hard to answer a question like the one you just posed to me. Sugar is intrinsic to many food products. It’s not going to be regulated in the same way that a completely exogenous additive to a food product can be regulated.

DUBNER: But technically, the categories under which sugar falls, however, are “food additive” and G.R.A.S., “generally regarded as safe,” and not food itself. Correct?

HAMBURG: This is my point. I’m not going to answer your question because I don’t have my lawyers here.

DUBNER: I see.

HAMBURG: But there are sugars in fruits and vegetables, there are sugars in dairy products, there’re sugars in various grasses that people consume. It’s intrinsic to the food product itself.

[MUSIC: Paul Freitas, “A Little Crazy” (from Again Spring)]

For instance, let’s get back to chocolate milk for a minute. As we said, it’s got 24 grams of sugar per one-cup serving, more than some soda. But regular old milk, without the chocolate, has about 12 grams of sugar — it’s naturally sweet from the lactose. And then there’s the sugar that’s added to many foods.

HAMBURG: Products that you think are actually very healthy — yogurt — the levels of sugar are astonishingly high. Things like barbecue sauce and spaghetti sauce and soup actually have much higher levels of sugar than you would ever imagine. Not to mention the levels that are in you know pies and cakes and ice cream and things where you would expect to see sugar.

So how much sugar, overall, do we actually consume?

LUSTIG: Right now we are about 60 to 65 percent over our limit, and that’s average.

That’s Robert Lustig.

LUSTIG: I’m a professor of pediatrics at the University of California San Francisco School of Medicine, also a member of their Institute for Health Policy Studies. My job is to try to treat obese children and now, also, alter the global food supply.

DUBNER: Easy picking the low hanging fruit for yourself, I see.

LUSTIG: Easier said than done. In both cases.

The data vary — again, this is nutrition science we’re talking about here — but the most recent estimates show that Americans consume between 20 and 30 teaspoons of added sugar per day. That’s down a bit from our peak consumption, sometime around the early 2000’s, but Americans still consume more added sugar than anyone else. This has turned Lustig into one of the most outspoken sugar critics you will find. He came to this position over many years.

LUSTIG: I’m a pediatric endocrinologist. I take care of glandular hormonal problems in children. I was doing that pretty seamlessly for a good two-to-three decades. Then the kids started getting fat on me. The question was, “What’s going on?” We started looking at what sugar did to the body, and what we realized was it caused this thing called insulin resistance and particularly in the liver. We started comparing what sugar did versus what alcohol did, and we realized, you know what, sugar and alcohol do the exact same thing, and it makes sense that it should, because after all, where do you get alcohol from? Fermentation of sugar. We were now seeing the diseases of alcohol without the alcohol. That started my, shall we say, advocacy in this field of obesity and public health.

KAHN: If you are indeed overweight or obese, you want to lose weight, the first place to start is to reduce sugar consumption.

That, again, is Richard Kahn, formerly of the American Diabetes Association.

KAHN: The reason being that we get plenty of energy from other carbohydrates, we don’t have to rely on sugar to get our energy. And the second reason is that sugar itself does not come along with any other essential nutrients, vitamins or minerals.

So you might think that Kahn and Lustig are in precisely the same camp. But there you’d be wrong.

KAHN: There’s no question that there is a real obesity epidemic throughout the world. That, I think is very real. It’s very important. It’s very serious. It has clear adverse health consequences. In addition, that has led directly to a dramatic increase in the incidence of diabetes throughout the world. We first saw this in the United States. We’ve seen it in European countries. We’re now seeing it in Asian countries. Diabetes is clearly a serious disease. It has quite serious complications and that’s a problem. Then the question becomes, “What has caused the obesity epidemic?” And that is, to use the euphemism, the $64,000 question.

There are many potential contributors to the rise in obesity.

KAHN: There’s been some evidence that with the increased use of psychotropic drugs, anti-depressive drugs, drugs for schizophrenia and other mental disorders — those drugs tend to promote weight gain. Another possibility is that we’ve seen, clearly, smoking cessation in a large proportion of the population. And when people stop smoking, that’s usually been associated with weight gain. Psychotropic drugs, smoking cessation, potential infections have been attributed to a rise in obesity.

There’s also a lot of research arguing the rather obvious point that we consume more calories today than we used to — for a lot of reasons. The relative low cost of food; the deliciousness of food; the availability of food — especially the availability of cheap, delicious, sweet food.

KAHN: Many people do believe that sugar consumption has been the cause, is the cause, of our obesity epidemic and then, subsequently, diabetes. But I believe that the evidence for this is pretty weak.

When the City of San Francisco wanted to add warning labels to soda, Kahn submitted an expert report on behalf of, among others, the American Beverage Association. He wrote: “There is no scientific consensus that added sugar (including added sugar in beverages) plays a unique role in the development of obesity and diabetes.”

KAHN: If we look as an analogy, for example, to cigarette smoking, and try to make the link between sugar and obesity or diabetes, and cigarette smoking to cancer. What are the differences?

Okay, what are the differences?

KAHN: In the cigarette-smoking realm, the lowest smoking rate produced an enormous incidence of lung cancer. The highest rate of smoking was just simply off the charts in terms of the likelihood of developing lung cancer. Conversely, with sugar consumption, it’s less than a two-fold increase at the highest levels.

This gets into tricky territory. As Kahn says, some studies do find a two-fold increase in diabetes at the highest level of sugar consumption — but other analyses, including one by Robert Lustig, argue it’s considerably higher. That said, the relationship between sugar and obesity is nowhere near as strong as the relationship between smoking and lung cancer. According to the NIH, even “light smoking” results in a nine-fold increase.

KAHN: The next one is something called temporality. In other words, is there association in time between sugar consumption and obesity? That held pretty true from about 1985 to the year 2000. Where obesity levels went up, sugar consumption went up. But thereafter starting in the year 2000, even to today, sugar consumption has declined somewhere around 15 to 20 percent, whereas obesity rates continue to rise. We don’t see that at all with smoking, the analogous situation. Cigarette smoking rises, cancer rises. Cigarette smoking declines, cancer declines.

This, of course, doesn’t mean that sugar doesn’t contribute to obesity. Just that, again, the relationship isn’t so definitive. Kahn points to another difference between smoking and sugar.

KAHN: In cigarette smoking, we found a link between cigarette smoking and cancer in every population, every ethnicity, both genders, all kinds of tobacco use and even in bystanders. Conversely, with sugar, we don’t have that consistency whatsoever.

For instance: some studies show a strong relationship between weight gain and sugar-sweetened beverages — S.S.B.’s — but that relationship is most consistent when the S.S.B.’s are consumed in addition to a person’s regular diet. So the problem might simply be the extra calories, not the sugar per se. It could also be that people who drink a lot of sugary drinks do other things that lead to weight gain. There’s also the fact that, as Richard Kahn said earlier …

KAHN: In general, nutrition studies are not very robust compared to many other fields in biological science. In sugar consumption, most of [the studies have] either no controls, a very small number of subjects … They’ve only lasted for days or weeks at the most. The experimental studies have not been robust.

So in Kahn’s view, the science on sugar is not settled. Which means that the notion of regulating sugar is, at best, premature.

KAHN: I don’t think that there is any absolute amount of sugar that we should be under in our consumption. It all relates to eating a well-rounded diet.

To Robert Lustig, meanwhile, the time for regulation is now.

[MUSIC: Ruby Velle & The Soulphonics, “It’s About Time” (from It’s About Time)]

DUBNER: This episode was inspired by a listener, who wrote in to say, “If sugar is as bad for us as a lot of people are now saying it is, why isn’t it regulated the way other potentially harmful substances, like alcohol or tobacco, are regulated?” How do you answer that question?

LUSTIG: Well, the public health community has identified four separate criteria that are needed to be fulfilled before a substance can be considered for regulation. No. 1: ubiquity, that is, can’t get away from it. No. 2: toxicity, that it’s dangerous. No. 3: abused, that increased consumption is inherent in the molecule itself. Finally, No. 4 is externalities. That is, your consumption hurts me. Now alcohol, tobacco, morphine, and heroin clearly meet these four criteria. The question is, “Does sugar meet them?” And the answer is, yes, it does, absolutely.

Okay, let’s look at those four criteria for sugar. Ubiquity? That’s pretty much a no-brainer. But what about toxicity? Lustig’s hypothesis has to do with how the body handles fructose.

LUSTIG: When you consume dietary sugar, the glucose molecules can go anywhere in the body; only about 20 percent hit the liver. But the fructose molecules have to be handled in the liver, because there’s a specific transporter called the GLUT5 transporter; it is only in the liver. When you consume a soda, you are flooding your liver, and your liver can’t handle the flood. The liver has no choice but to turn that fructose into liver fat. It’s that liver fat that causes the chronic metabolic disease. We have the data that demonstrates that it’s the liver fat made from dietary sugar that is at the nidus, at the beginning of type-2 diabetes, heart disease, fatty liver disease. We’re starting to ferret out the links between dietary sugar and cancer and dementia as well.

DUBNER: But I know there’s other research that says that the toxicity argument may be overstated. That it’s not an acute toxin but a chronic one.

LUSTIG: You are absolutely right that sugar is not an acute toxin. Chronic toxins are still toxins even though they don’t make you keel over and die. Is benzene a toxin? We regulate it as such. Benzene doesn’t kill you acutely.

DUBNER: What about alcohol?

LUSTIG: Alcohol is both. It’s an acute toxin. You can die on a bender. Or it’s a chronic toxin — you can fry your liver. It’s both. The point is that the F.D.A. regulates acute toxins, because it’s in their charter, The Food, Drug, and Cosmetics Act of 1938. Very specifically, it does not say anything about chronic toxins. The F.D.A. does not regulate chronic toxins.

Criteria No. 3 for regulation: the potential for abuse.

LUSTIG: It turns out that there is no biochemical reaction in any vertebrate on the planet that requires dietary fructose. Now, it happens to be sweet. It happens to signal our brain reward centers that we like the stuff. We happen to crave it. We happen to really enjoy it, and a little too much. In fact, now we have data that shows that it happens to be addictive as well.

Nicole AVENA: The question about whether sugar can meet the criteria for an addiction or an abused substance is something that I’ve been studying for many years now. It’s something that I think has become of interest to a lot of people.

That’s Dr. Nicole Avena. She’s a research neuroscientist at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York.

AVENA: The way in which we’ve been studying this and the way in which others have studied this is to use these D.S.M. criteria for addiction and ask the question, “Can sugar, when it’s consumed in excess, produce some of these behavioral indications and neurochemical indications that you would typically see with a substance of abuse?”

The D.S.M. is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It defines addiction or substance abuse along four main criteria: impaired control; social impairment; risky use; and pharmacological indicators like tolerance and withdrawal.

AVENA: You certainly don’t need to meet all of them and many people who are addicts don’t meet all those criteria. But you do need to meet a certain number of them for a protracted period of time. What the research has suggested in both animal models and in clinical studies is that the criteria for addiction as we classically define it in the DSM can be met when the substance of abuse is a sugar or a palatable food, in many cases. We see evidence of bingeing, withdrawal, craving. We also see changes in the brain.

Now, it’s worth pointing out that some of the most troubling studies are animal studies, which can be problematic on two fronts. One: the lab animals aren’t people, so they process sugar differently. Two: the doses of sugar they receive in the lab are often so large as to not be comparable to what most people would consume. Moreover, sugar isn’t the only thing we consume that has “addictive” qualities: pizza and french fries are also at the top of the list. So how well does this emerging model of sugar addiction line up to the addictive criteria for the sort of drugs that we do regulate?

AVENA: It’s a difficult question, because sugar is safe when it’s used in moderation. But the problem is that most people are unaware of how much sugar they’re consuming. Also, if the data suggests that the sugar is producing addictive-like changes in the brain, then we’re talking about something very different. Because if you’re no longer be able to have full volitional control over your decision to eat or not eat the sugar, then that becomes a different type of discussion.

The fourth criteria for regulation, that Robert Lustig was telling us about: externalities.

LUSTIG: That is, your consumption hurts me.

A classic case of externalities is auto travel. Every time you drive, it costs me something whether I’m driving or not. More pollution; more congestion; more risk of accident. We share all those costs, regardless of my actions.

LUSTIG: The question is, “Does this fit for sugar? Do I have anything to say about your consumption?” And the answer is, “Yeah, you’re costing me in obesity-related health care — whether I’m obese or not — because of your obesity.” It’s economic, but it’s real. 62 percent of all the health care costs in this country are shouldered by the federal government. Damn right, we share it!

[MUSIC: Ruby Velle & The Soulphonics, “My Dear” (from It’s About Time)]

* * *

[MUSIC: Vic & Gab, “When You Walk In The Room” (from Love of Mine)]

It’s hard to find anyone who doesn’t like sugar. And nearly just as hard to find anyone who doesn’t think they’re having too much of it …

YOUNG WOMAN: I really like sugar. I know it’s bad for you, but I like it.

SOUTHERN MAN: Right now, I am staying away from sugar, trying to eat a better, have a better diet.

MAN: I’ve tried to cut back on it, but I’ve never given it up. I think it tastes delicious in the right thing, and I think that, at this point, it’s probably an addiction that my body just needs to have. I’ve never tried to give it up, nor will I try any time soon.

GIRL: I’ve definitely eaten too much of it, because I had a sleepover at my friend’s, and for breakfast we had lollies!

It wasn’t always thus.

ABBOTT: Sugar started out as a minor commodity that was used for medicine and for spice, up into the Middle Ages.

That’s Elizabeth Abbott. She teaches history at Trinity College, University of Toronto, and is the author of Sugar: A Bittersweet History. She says the debate over what sugar is — a food, a drug, or something in between — is hardly new.

ABBOTT: St. Thomas Aquinas, way back in the 13th century, pronounced sugar a medicine. He said: “Though nutritious in themselves, sugared spices are nonetheless not eaten with the end in mind of nourishment, but rather for ease in digestion. Accordingly, they do not break the fast any more than the taking of any other medicine.”

One reason sugar was welcome in medicine was because a lot of medicine tasted terrible — a combination bitter roots, animal feces, even bits of corpse. So yeah, a spoonful of sugar really does make the medicine go down! Outside of medicine, however, sugar was decidedly aristocratic.

ABBOTT: For example, Persia — or Iran today — [sugar] was very popular among the elite. They are the ones that started this trend, this architecture of sugar. They would make beautiful sculptures often, for example, life-size trees.

Sugar was costly, and sugar was rare. But the sugar trade began to grow, built on the back of the slave trade.

ABBOTT: By 1680, sugar costs only half what it had in 1630. That was thanks to slavery. By 1700, the percentage of imported foodstuffs including sugar had more than doubled and they quadrupled between 1700 and 1740. England and Wales consumed 60 times more sugar — though their populations did not quite double.

Abbott argues it was the Industrial Revolution that helped turn sugar into an everyday thing.

ABBOTT: People started going from their farms and so on into cities and into factories. They couldn’t go home for lunch because they had maybe a 15-minute break. So sugared tea and a bun — or some sort of thing like that, often with jam on it — was offered instead, and that was what popularized it. It’s said that it fueled the Industrial Revolution because sugared tea — and it would be really sugary — has calories. They’re not nutritious but they are units of energy.

The sugar boom helped create another boom that we’re still living through.

ABBOTT: They had a lobby that was extremely powerful. We could say all the big heavy industrial lobbying probably stems from the success of the sugar lobby.

That’s right: it wasn’t enough to benefit from slave labor and huge demand for their product.

ABBOTT: The sugar plantations were profitable not just because of the demand but largely because of how they were politically strong. If they had failures, if they had hurricanes, if they had bad crops — which they often did — they could keep the price. They could get Parliament to help them out with good legislation and tariffs and so on that would favor them. By the way, the sugar lobby is still a very important on. It has a lot of weight still, and it now is an alliance of cane sugar planters and beet sugar planters. They get together to lobby when and when they feel that their interests are at stake.

It was only recently uncovered that in the 1960’s, the sugar industry paid three Harvard scientists to write a review that shifted the blame for heart disease from sugar to saturated fat. Much more recently, Coca-Cola spent millions of dollars on research arguing that the real culprit in obesity is lack of exercise, not sugary drinks. So you can’t blame people for being confused, maybe conflicted, about the degree to which sugar is a health risk. I brought this up with Robert Lustig.

DUBNER: Right now, we’re talking in the year 2017. A lot of people now are convinced that the U.S. government and many others erred terribly in declaring fat to be the cause of obesity. Many people now believe, as you argue, that sugar is a much bigger villain. How do we know you’re not the guy that’s wrong this time, that you’re not just another — perhaps well-intentioned — big-brained do-gooder who is making a massive mistake?

LUSTIG: An awfully good question. This is known as the pessimistic meta-induction theory. What it says is, “Everything we knew 10 years ago is already wrong, and everything we know today will be wrong 10 years from now. Why should we do anything differently when we know that whatever it is that we believe today will end up being wrong?” If you play that game, then you might as well never do any research, never do anything at all, and live with the current dogma.

There’s also the confounding fact, pointed out by former F.D.A. commissioner Margaret Hamburg, that a lot of time you’re eating sugar even when you don’t know you’re eating sugar.

HAMBURG: Things like barbecue sauce and spaghetti sauce and soup actually have much higher levels of sugar than you would ever imagine.

DUBNER: Talk to me for a moment about the Smart Choices program and what the F.D.A. did there.

HAMBURG: The Smart Choices program was an effort spearheaded by industry. A number of major food-producing companies came together to create a system where you would give different scores to different aspects of the nutritional value of a product. The total number would then either give you the green check, the smart choice, or not.

DUBNER: The name, I gather, was an industry name, yes?

HAMBURG: Right. Exactly. The problem with it was that you could score adequately high to get that “green smart choice check” without the food truly reflecting what any sensible nutrition expert would view as a healthy, smart choice. Some of the products that got the smart choice label were over 40 percent sugar. We joked that you could practically take sawdust and if you added enough nutrients to it and the fiber of sawdust, you could have it labeled as a healthy choice, a smart choice.

DUBNER: How long did that last?

HAMBURG: It was out there for a little while. We expressed our concerns to the group that had put this together and was implementing it. They listened and understood. They decided voluntarily to withdraw the program. There have been a number of efforts to look at other strategies for providing consumers with important information about foods. The nutrition facts label, of course, is one important aspect. The nutrition facts label that’s on most processed foods and beverages in this country was first put into place more than two decades ago. But then it was never updated. When I was commissioner, we decided it did need to be updated to reflect both deeper understandings about how people eat. Serving size for example. Also, advances in nutrition science. We embarked on a process to update it. I think the most important contribution that this updated nutrition facts label provides is in the area of added sugar.

DUBNER: As I understand it, food and beverage companies are already adjusting their products to consider the new labeling. Was that your intention?

HAMBURG: Absolutely. One of the goals of putting out that information is to encourage companies to reformulate foods towards healthier products. We’ve certainly seen that happen as we move towards this the implementation of this new nutrition facts label. Stonyfield Yogurt just recently decided to significantly reduce levels of sugar before the new facts label is actually in place. F.D.A., in some ways, has the opportunity to use both the carrot and the stick. Knowing that we could do mandatory guidelines on certain things often encouraged industry to work with us, to come to voluntary approaches. But there’s no doubt that there are tensions.

DUBNER: Robert Lustig and several others in that camp argue that sugar should be regulated substantially because it meets criteria for substances that should be controlled or regulated: unavoidability, toxicity, potential for abuse, and negative impact on society. I’m curious what your thoughts are on sugar fitting those criteria and whether you think that’s even a useful framework.

HAMBURG: We need to reduce excess sugar in our diets and in the products that we consume. Consumers need more education and information. But I’m not sure that I can really embrace the proposal to regulate sugar in that way.

DUBNER: Because it would be too overreaching? Because it would be too difficult? Why?

HAMBURG: It’s a complex area to regulate in that sugars are intrinsic components of many foods which should be part of a balanced nutritious diet. Fruits and vegetables and dairy products are good examples. I think that some of the concerns that have been raised may not be fully grounded in the best possible science.

“Not fully grounded in the best possible science.” That, you’ll recall, was Richard Kahn’s main objection to the idea of regulating sugar. But there’s another one too:

KAHN: If you reduce it or get rid of it or put policies and laws regulating it, what good is it going to do? We have no clue, no real good evidence that it’s going to do any good whatsoever. Therefore, unintended consequences become a very important factor.

Robert Lustig, meanwhile, is — as you’ve likely figured out by now — in favor of just about any kind of sugar regulation you can imagine. Taxes, for instance, and price hikes — both of which worked to reduce cigarette smoking, and are already being used on sugary drinks in a few places.

LUSTIG: The modeling studies that have been done suggests that you have to raise the price of a can of soda by about 20 percent in order to see any meaningful reduction in consumption.

Lustig’s also in favor of limiting the availability of sugar — removing vending machines from schools for instance. Also, banning TV commercials for products with added sugar. Also: getting rid of subsidies.

LUSTIG: Subsidies for food make no sense because subsidies distort the market.

DUBNER: One last question, perhaps ridiculous or impossible: let’s say we’re in a world where you could edit genes quite easily. It seems we’re not that far from it. Whether we’re talking about a 50-year-old person or a zygote. How would you consider editing the genes related to what seems to be a craving, perhaps even dangerous craving for sugar?

LUSTIG: That’s a really tough question. We don’t want to turn off our reward system entirely. If we do, we get into trouble. We actually did this. We did this experiment with a medicine back in the early 2000’s. That medicine was called Rimonabant. What it was was it was the anti-marijuana medicine. It blocked the endo-cannabinoid receptors in the brain, and by doing so reduced reward for alcohol and for food. In fact, people who took Rimonabant lost a fair amount of weight. It looked very promising. Until we started looking at the Phase 3 data and started realizing that a lot of these people became severely depressed, and many of them committed suicide. We didn’t realize it, until we did those Phase 3 trial. It was never approved here in the United States. Bottom line is, if you take away a reward, you take away the reason for living. Be careful about gene editing our rewards system.

Most of the regulatory measures Robert Lustig would like to see around sugar lie somewhere between unlikely and impossible, at least for now. In any case, we asked a bunch of people in Times Square what they thought of it …

YOUNG MAN: Most definitely shouldn’t ban sugar. Sugar’s one of the best things in the world. But I don’t think it should be taxed, either. I feel like it should just be accessible to everybody, because it’s a nice thing. It’s the best thing out there!

YOUNG WOMAN: Probably a tax, but not a ban. I don’t think a ban would work very well. There’s just too much sugar in the world. But maybe a tax would have people thinking more about what they’re buying a little bit more.

SOUTHERN MAN: A tax or ban on sugar? I feel that would backfire really bad. Look back at the Revolutionary War. The British put a tax on tea and people didn’t really like that too much!

SMALL GIRL: I would probably cry because I love sugar!

A love of sugar seems, from what we can tell, pretty universal. Including among the scientists and doctors we’ve been speaking with today. From Richard Kahn, formerly of the American Diabetes Association…

KAHN: One clear thing that comes to mind is just pleasure. Sugar is enjoyable to eat. It’s part of our culture, keeping our community together, our families together.

To Margaret Hamburg, former F.D.A. commissioner…

HAMBURG: I will admit to having a sweet tooth. Oatmeal cookies, I’ll tell you, are my particular vice.

To the most anti-sugar one of all, Dr. Robert Lustig:

LUSTIG: Sugar’s celebratory! Sugar’s fun! Sugar’s Apple Pie. Sugar is reward — but once a week.

[MUSIC: Stubborn Son, “Vixen” (from Birthright)]

* * *

Freakonomics Radio is produced by WNYC Studios and Dubner Productions. This episode was produced by Stephanie Tam with help from Eliza Lambert, Matt Fidler, and Sam Bair. Our staff also includes Alison Craiglow, Greg Rippin, Alvin Melathe, Harry Huggins and Zack Lapinski. You can subscribe to Freakonomics Radio on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Here’s where you can learn more about the people and ideas in this episode:

SOURCES

Saul Arnow, the 11-year-old Freakonomics Radio listener who inspired this episode!

Elizabeth Abbott, senior research associate in the arts at Trinity College, University of Toronto.

Dr. Nicole Avena, research neuroscientist at at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine.

Margaret Hamburg, former commissioner of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

Roger Layton, communications and public relations manager at Brigham Young University Library.

Robert Lustig, professor of pediatrics and member of the Institute for Health Policy Studies at The University of California, San Francisco; president of the Institute for Responsible Nutrition.

Richard Kahn, former chief scientific and medical officer of the American Diabetes Association.

Brenna Oldroyd, student at Brigham Young University.

RESOURCES

“A Big Tobacco Moment for the Sugar Industry,” James Surowiecki, The New Yorker, (September 15, 2016).

“ Dietary Sugar and Body Weight: Have We Reached a Crisis in the Epidemic of Obesity and Diabetes?: Health Be Damned! Pour on the Sugar,” George A. Bray and Barry M. Popkin. (April 2014).

“Dietary Sugar and Body Weight: Have We Reached a Crisis in the Epidemic of Obesity and Diabetes?: We Have, but the Pox on Sugar Is Overwrought and Overworked,” Richard Kahn and John L. Sievenpiper. (April 2014).

“Evidence for Sugar Addiction: Behavioral and Neurochemical Effects of Intermittent, Excessive Sugar Intake,” Nicole M. Avena, Pedro Rada, and Bartley G. Hoebel (2008).

“How the Sugar Industry Shifted Blame to Fat,” Anahad O’Connor, The New York Times (September 12, 2016).

“Is Everything We Eat Associated with Cancer? A Systematic Cookbook Review,” Jonathan D. Schoenfeld and John P.A. Ioannidis (January 1, 2013).

“Isocaloric Fructose Restriction and Metabolic Improvement in Children with Obesity and Metabolic Syndrome,” Robert Lustig, Kathleen Mulligan, Susan M. Noworolski, Viva W. Tai, Michael J. Wen, Ayca Erkin-Cakmak, Alejandro Gugliucci, and Jean-Marc Schwarz (February 2016).

“The Public Health and Economic Benefits of Taxing Sugar-Sweetened Beverages,” Kelly D. Brownell, Thomas Farley, Walter C. Willett, Barry M. Popkin, Frank J. Chaloupka, Joseph W. Thompson, and David S. Ludwig (October 15, 2009).

“Public Health: The Toxic Truth about Sugar,” Robert Lustig, Laura A. Schmidt, and Claire D. Brindis (February 2, 2012).

“The Relationship of Sugar to Population-Level Diabetes Prevalence: An Econometric Analysis of Repeated Cross-Sectional Data,” Sanjay Basu, Paula Yoffe, Nancy Hills, and Robert H. Lustig (February 27, 2013).

“Resolved: There Is Sufficient Scientific Evidence That Decreasing Sugar-Sweetened Beverage Consumption Will Reduce the Prevalence of Obesity and Obesity-Related Diseases,” Frank Hu (August 2013).

“Sickeningly Sweet: Does Sugar Cause Chronic Disease? No,” John Sievenpiper (August 1, 2016).

“Sickeningly Sweet: Does Sugar Cause Type 2 Diabetes? Yes,” Robert Lustig (August 1, 2016).

Sugar: A Bittersweet History by Abbott, Elizabeth (The Overlook Press, 2011).

Sugar: The Bitter Truth by University of California Television (UCTV) (March 7, 2017).

“The Sugar Wars,” Daniel Engber, The Atlantic , (January/February 2017).

“Which Foods May Be Addictive? The Roles of Processing, Fat Content, and Glycemic Load,” Erica M. Schulte, Nicole M. Avena, and Ashley N. Gearhardt (February 18, 2015).

“You’re About to Find Out How Much Sugar Is Added to Your Food,” Deena Shankar Bloomberg.com , (August 9, 2016).

EXTRA

Fed Up, (Atlas Films, 2014).

“Healthy Diet,” World Health Organization.

Milktoberfest.

“Understanding and Addressing Food Addiction: A Science-Based Approach to Policy, Practice and Research” The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse.

The post There’s a War on Sugar. Is It Justified? (Ep. 285 Rebroadcast) appeared first on Freakonomics.

from Dental Care Tips http://freakonomics.com/podcast/sugar-rebroadcast/

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1taiwan-blog · 7 years

Video

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cksmart-world · 4 years

Text

The completely unnecessary news analysis

by Christopher Smart

May 5, 2020

IT'S A MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD

Oh boy, are things crazy. It's the 50th anniversary of the Kent State massacre where National Guardsmen shot and killed four student protesters and wounded nine others on the Ohio campus. At that time American deaths in Vietnam were approaching 50,000 and the war was tearing the country apart. Eventually 58,220 Americans would die in Southeast Asia. Fast forward — now deaths from the coronavirus pandemic in this country eclipse 70,000 and it seems like to many it doesn't really matter all that much. (We won't mention Afghanistan and Iraq because no one cares.) Some have downplayed the pandemic, comparing it to automobile and gun deaths, which, by the way, are not communicable. And Fox news pundits keep repeating that more than 60,000 died from the flu last year. Nonetheless, coronavirus is 10 to 20 times as deadly and spreads much faster. These days, protesters aren't college students but middle-aged people carrying “Liberty or Death” placards and firearms. Imagine being transported from 1970 to 2020 and showing up in Lansing, Michigan in bell bottoms and tie-dye with peace symbols and coming across old fat guys wearing camouflage and brandishing AR-15s. Talk about a bad acid trip.

MITCH THE MENACE

That great American Mitch McConnell, the Cardinal de Richelieu of Washington, is a master at blowing smoke up Donald Trump's pant leg while doing the bidding of corporate fat cats. All this while many working-class Americans are waiting in long lines at the food bank. Well, let them eat cake. When it comes to looking out for the little guy and his fellow Kentuckians, there's no one quite like Misery Mitch, who lords his power over the country like a corporate thug. Most recently, he's been pushing legislation that would release companies from liability during the coronavirus pandemic, all while President Trump has ordered meat packing plants to remain open. As such, those companies and others who force their workers into unsafe conditions could not be sued by employees or the families of workers who die from Covid 19. But that's just where the fun begins. Maniacal Mitch made sure corporations got more than their share of the so-called stimulus dough, while anxious workers waited on tenter hooks for 1200 bucks that would easily get them through the crisis. But why should working men and women complain after they swept up crumbs from Trump's $1.5 trillion tax cut, while the big boys hauled away 80 percent of the largesse. It's a tried and true strategy from Money Man Mitch because Wall Street repays him with tens of millions that keep him in Washington's driver's seat — he's holds the whole country hostage but only Kentuckians can vote him out. It is a democratic republic, after all.

(You can make a donation to his Democratic opponent, Amy McGrath, retired U.S. Marine Corps Lt. Colonel, at amymcgrath.com.)

DEMOCRATIC LAMBS TO SLAUGHTER

Every four years, the endangered species known as Utah Democrats select one of their own to sacrifice to the angry gods of politics in the “election” for governor. In 2016, Gov. Gary Herbert, the Republican, defeated Democrat Mike Weinholtz by 38 percentage points — slaughter would be an understatement. One reason: there is no Utah Democratic Party. Not really. Here at Smart Bomb, the staff attempted to find the Utah Democratic Party but could only locate a phone number and a recorded message: “We'll get back to you one day, maybe.” Up into the 1970s, Utah had Democratic governors and senators, but the Republican culture wars successfully branded Dems as baby killing faggot lovers who would steal your guns and tax you to death. Mormon faithful bought it hook, line and sinker. The Democrats just kind of rolled over, while the Republicans robbed working-class folks blind in favor of their rich supporters. There are, of course, pockets of Democrats in Salt Lake, Summit, Grand and maybe a few other counties. But until Democrats go on a statewide grassroots offensive, Utahns will have to endure patriarchal self-righteous leaders who continue to embrace the debunked theory of trickle-down economics. As one cold-hearted observer said: In a democracy we deserve the government we elect.

WHO NEEDS SCIENCE? SHINE A LIGHT

As some have noted, science is not President Trump's strong suit. But he isn't alone. There is an entire segment of America that doesn't believe in science. Galileo who? Climate change is hoax, don't you know, perpetrated by tree-huggers and Democrats along with French people who eat snails. It's nothing new, of course. In 1925, high school teacher John Scopes was put on trial for violating a Tennessee law that made it illegal to teach human evolution. The notion that humans and apes had a common ancestor was an affront to God — or at least some Tennessee Christian churchgoers. And if evolution is true, why isn't every other baby born a chimpanzee? Fuckin' Darwin. Didn't he hear about Noah's Ark? The earth is 4.6 billion years old? Kiss my ass. The fact that we have put someone on the moon, changes nothing. Cure for cancer — nothing. The technology that allows us to listen to Rush Limbaugh and watch Sean Hannity couldn't possibly be based on science. So when Donny No-Dange suggested curing Covid 19 patients by shining a light up their ass, it was kinda funny, but not really a surprise. The United States has more confirmed coronavirus deaths than any other country — twice as many, per capita, as Canada — because Trump ignored scientists early on, failed to test and failed to stockpile enough medical equipment. He now is eager to reopen the economy while case counts are still surging. Say a prayer.

Post script — Well chillens, another week of The Twilight Zone is in the rearview mirror and the beautiful May weather beckons. Pandemic or not, folks who live near the beach are simply saying, fuckit, let's go surfing. And who can blame them really. How can coronavirus get you as long as you make sure to use plenty of Coppertone. Meanwhile thirsty landlubbers want to hit the bar and what are the chances that you could die, anyway — except if you drink too many Jagermeister shooters. Now, that shit is dangerous. And as Billy Graham Jr. says, you're gonna die someday, anyway. He's a gem, ain't he. Hopefully, there's no heaven, because his father would be looking down and shitting his pants. So, anyway, you can play it safe and stay home and go batshit (unless you've got the right drugs) or you can go out and live life and bring coronavirus back to your friends and loved ones, who may or may not die. Sure, you'd be taking chances with their lives, but this is America where we apply cost/benefit analysis to everything. For example, before this whole pandemic thing, how many weighed the probability of going on a cruise and dying of food poisoning or boredom. See how it works. And how many have thought twice about going to the company summer party? Talk about scary. Times do change, although you'd have a hard time convincing our youth of that. Fifty years ago, the scariest thing that could happen was you'd get your ass drafted and end up in Vietnam where you'd probably get it shot off. If you were a young woman, your boyfriend or husband could end up in Southeast Asia dead for absolutely nothing. Like it or not, we are a warrior nation. Last week as nurses and doctors were dying on the front lines of the coronavirus pandemic, our jet fighters — the best killing machines ever invented — were flying overhead to thank caregivers and buoy the spirits of Americans who apparently don't mind spending $67 million on a single aircraft while many can't afford healthcare. Funny place, this United States of America.

Alright Wilson, tell the band to put down their beers and take us out with a little something for the occasion:

Tin soldiers and Nixon coming, We're finally on our own. This summer I hear the drumming, Four dead in Ohio. Gotta get down to it Soldiers are cutting us down Should have been done long ago. What if you knew her And found her dead on the ground How can you run when you know?

(Ohio, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young)

PPS — During this difficult time for newspapers please make a donation to our very important local alternative news source Salt Lake City Weekly at PressBackers.com, a nonprofit dedicated to help fund local journalism. Thank you.

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