#but this one hits a little different
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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Is now a good time to post these drawings of them that I did literal months ago or
#the last one hits a little different now…#I swear I didn’t change it after this episode#I’m rubbing salt in the wound I know#my art#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndaddies#dndads s2#dndads season 2#dndads quest#dndads odyssey#dndads s1#dndads season 1#grant wilson#grant li wilson#terry jr#terry stampler
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The winners of the life series all had their own ways of winning:
1. Grian loyalty, playing into every one of Scar's schemes no matter how stupid they seemed. His win came from blood and tears, a descion made surronded by sand and cacti.
2. Scott defiance, he was never going to play the game the way it was designed. Why would he take life needlessly, no his win came from the refusal to do the watchers bidding.
3. Pearl alone, discarded by her soulmate, discarded by the one who pulled her into the nether in the first place. She won with her ties cut, she won not of her own descion but of the one who decided for her.
4. Martyn scavenger, taking time where most convient, stealing kills from right under peoples noses. His win came when even his trusted ally had his guard down, feral and desperate for just a drop more time, even if it left him frenzied and alone.
#the life series#trafficblr#limited life#grian#pearlescentmoon#inthelittlewood#scott smajor#life series spoilers#limited life episode 8#just a little thought i had in my head watching martyn's last episode#they all had their own unique ways of winning their games#god the theories the angst the pain you can pull from this series its magnificent#i live this series so much#i dont think their series would hit the same if it was all scripted#something about coincidences and pattersn reameraging organically hits so different#it leads into some of the most impactful moments#some of the best reactions#because no one knows it will happen till it does#2 years of one of the best minecraft series ever#till the next one o7#and martyn if you end up reading this nice win i was rooting for you from the start#might actually put together a martyn cosplay finally been planning to for 2 years now 😭
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22 more images (with some saucy shenanigans and immature "seduction" tactics towards the end) below the cut:
Ryuk makes his grand return and is brought up to speed with Light and L's immoral union. The date seems pretty successful~.
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#drawn by me#my fanart#my fancomic#Death Note#The Chain#lawlight#Light Yagami#L#Ryuk#smooch#saucy shenanigans#suggestive dialogue#Ryuk third-wheeling~#L meets Light's quirky-deadly roommate#henh not much to say about this one. basically a continuation of the previous entry despite the absurd update gap.#I've lost the ability to keep anything brief anymore~#L seems a bit out of character with his willingness to go with the plan huh? And don't you think he'd have gotten used to Light's teasing b#now? Maybe it hits a little different knowing for a fact that it's coming from Kira's mouth directed towards him of all people~#Also the picture where Ryuk is saying he'll scram when things get heated is probably my favorite drawing of him that I've done!#he was so intimidating to draw especially over and over in comic form. such a far cry from my usual human style#but like all things I gradually became more and more comfortable drawing him. I'm very happy about that! :)#I have a dumb idea/headcanon concerning the nerds' first copulation attempt~.#if I decide to include it here I will definitely try to age restrict it even though it won't necessarily be graphic.#don't wanna get in trouble lol#I have more trouble drawing spicy scenes than I do with shinigami subjects XD#tw: food issues#they both eat the sketchy 'apple' to prove they're not cowards... despite it not being the smartest idea in the world. >_>
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#powerpuff girls#ppg#blossom#bubbles#buttercup#boogie frights#this episode is actually super awesome for all of the cool monster designs#probably one of my faves i gotta admit#also man just... imagine this in your mind's eye okay?#being a little kid and watching this on a crt television late at night with all the lights off#literally the only way to watch old ppg episodes#like i really want to buy an older TV and do that again it would be so fun 😭 the first season of the show just hits different that way#there's such a vibe that's different from the later seasons... it's just meant to be watched at nighttime
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letting me ramble abt my favourite media is dangerous bc if u change the subject I Will use “Yeah, but uh-“ to bring it back around don’t Even girl we’re in it now hold my hand
#staring at the floor waving my hands around while I explain the different tiers of Zelda items#which game has the best balance and use of their dungeon items…#it’s Minish cap btw IN MY HUMBLE OPINION#twilight is my favourite game but I think the dungeon items were a little bad in their reuse yknow#one and done for a lot of them#but in Minish you always have to reuse ur items through the game they’re always useful…#I’m spending my days lately with 5 hour Zelda play through Vods#I don’t like rambling usually bc if someone hits me with a single response I’ll kms SKDNSJAK like don’t let me embarrass myself‼️‼️‼️
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kabru kissed a girl this, kabru probably has a crush on laios that. consider a cooler third option: he's aroace.
#brought to you by me realizing both my friend and i made comparisons between him and my aroace oc#plus the line where hes like I JUST WANTED TO BE FRIENDS with you hits a little different then#and i personally think he should be aroace as a treat. i think it would be neat. he could be one of us <3#kabru#kabru of utaya#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#aroace#aromantic#asexual
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嫌だ
嫌だ
嫌だ!!!!!!
#satoko houjou#houjou satoko#higurashi#higurashi no naku koro ni#higurashi when they cry#art stuffs#guess what i've been reading recently#tatarigoroshi hit really close to home for me#i love you satoko my little baby#wanted to try something different with this one#used colors i'm not as comfortable with#and pseudo-cell shading
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"i have to go to sleep" i say
"i really have to go to sleep" i say again, four hours later
#WHEN THE WRITING GROOVE HITS I GOTTA STICK WITH IT#WHO KNOWS WHEN SHE'LL RETURN TO ME#listen this decapitation fic might actually get Done!#ive got the first part written out#all it needs is a re-write and a read and then i guess i could start posting#BUT! i won't until im done with it all#im not making that mistake...#absolutely unprompted#also i need to decide on How to post it#bc it has three little 'arcs'#the Event - the conflict - the resolution#and each one has its own separate chunks with different povs#so its like... each section posted as a full chapter#with distinct separated povs / scenes#or each pov is a new chapter?#but then if its that then the chapter lengths would be so uneven.#its be like 'oh ch.1 is 3k. ch.2 is less than 2k. ch. 3 is less than 3k#rrrgh. but then just posting three big chapters#would be like 'ok part one has like. 7k. part two has 10k. part three has whatever k'#so the question is!#three big chunks posted over the course of three weeks?#or up to 10 smaller chapters over the course of a equal amount of weeks?#im inclined towards the former....#wanna get this out before the next big update releases and smashes it all into tiny shards!#big chunks! three releases! Once Im Done With The Writing / Editing Process!#might ask a certain someone to beta read! who knows! i do have a person in mind that i'd ask!#we'll see we'll see
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every time one of u people accentuates the purple veins underneath gales eyes or makes him look slightly sickly due to the constant pain and hunger i want to kiss your art full on the mouth. mwah. i love gale but i think he should look just a little fucked up and uncanny sometimes. permanently slightly sick with something but you can’t quite make it out (until you know about the orb)
#gale dekarios#baldur's gate 3#gale bg3#it just looks so good i love it when people make him just a little bit scrungled m#top three gale art decisions number one let that man wear a dress#number two let him do his hair up in different ways#number three hit him with the exhausted and magically ill aura of suffering
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Assorted 7yg Nicks for today <3
#ace attorney#aa4#phoenix wright#Indys art#I LOVE thinking about the progression during the 7yg#local ex laywer man gets hit with the depression hammer like a couple years in FHJGKHLGKJHL#I WISH we got another game with him before he became a laywer again I wanna see that!!!#its such an interesting point in his life and we get SO little of it :(#forever upset abt that hgjkhlj#I just want his friends to very quickly notice thats he's VERY different from what he used to be is that too much to ask for#also Phoenix hair in the last one is meant to look similar to how Trucy's hair in the front/side of her face look <3#at least with how I draw it KJHLJ
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Honestly Peter/Roger should be way more of a ship imo. I know we barely got to see them interact in Dialtown but you cannot tell me Peter bringing up his wife was looking to spice things up in the bedroom or whatever wasn't a direct attempt to rizz him up that just completely flew over Roger's head (or maybe it didn't and Peter just chickened out. The possibilities are endless. I'm shaking you by the shoulders are you listening to me❓‼️)
#luly talks#dsaf#peter kennedy#roger jones#dialtown#i originally was making a different post just being vague rambling in the tags but then i hit post forgettign I'd hit post limit#and lost it 👎 so now im being straight forward and spewing my gospel 👍#but I'll say it the world of phoney on phoney is so unexplored#this one is so funny to me bc i also do ship jack and roger or rather acknowledge just how badly he wanted that phone#the hater brothers seeing the nicest little guy ever: i want him.#that's the reason why peter won't let roger meet his brother btw territorial beast/JOKE#queued this for nearly 4 am who gives a fuck
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You ever get lulled into a false sense of security during the first two thirds of a kid's movie that's good with a serious plot but mostly a pretty fun time, only to have the entire final third tear your heart out, chew it up and spit it out, crush it into even finer paste beneath its heel, and add the fine powder your ribs have been turned into by the sledgehammer it whammed you with as a seasoning?
Anyway Nimona was great, 10/10 would recommend, I was crying on and off for what probably totaled 20 minutes of tears.
#hopeful rambling#nimona#cw graphic#i think that's probably the right tag for that description#anyway yes im a little late to the train but i was waiting until i could watch it with my dearest#my takeaway is that they should put a content warning on it for trans people especially bc you will feel punched in the face#that allegory sure can trans.#i think i related to it in a different way than most people#bc being genderqueer yeah nimona going im not a girl im just myself hit home but im not *trans*#so i think i actually ended up projecting onto balistar as someone who deeply loves a trans person (different ways obviously)#being told 'yes you can rejoin the society you betrayed you aren't like *her* you arent a monster everything can go back to what it was#you can be one of the good guys if you reject the freaks'#but they betrayed you first and the good guys aren't good and how things were is worse actually than saying i love you i see you im with you#to the freaks and the monsters who will accept who you are unlike the society that never will always keeping you to an impossible standard#of never being yourself#so yeah the religious/societal prejudice trauma was very felt at some points#and i grieved for nimona not because she was me but because she was my dearest and she was a friend#and she was a thousand people i will never know who decided it was better to die as yourself than be killed as someone you aren't#and didn't have a person to say im sorry. i see you.#anyway. yeah im still crying. altered my brain chemistry is mild i think it rearranged my organs punched a hole in my chest and i thanked it#nimona spoilers
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i feel you, hancock
#some luffy doodles because i've fallen for him all over again#he's just a silly little guy and i love him for it#my moots from my main tumblr are experiencing onepiece reblog hell lmao#but yeah re-reading the manga after 4 years really hits different#monkey d. luffy#luffy#straw hat luffy#one piece#monkey d luffy#opla#myart#anime#anime fanart#one piece fanart#anime art#artists on tumblr
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our wives under the sea did a good job of using a mysterious setting to tell a deeply uncomfortable story about illness death and grief.. like all the weird body horror happening to Leah is so much of what u might encounter when caring for a sick person who is slowly diminishing but you don’t really want to acknowledge it and you just want to hang onto them but no longer feel that this person in a deteriorating body is the person you once knew & loved… like damn grieving for someone long before they are actually gone but you still have to deal with the reality of their corporeal body and trying to deny how much of a burden it is on you and forcing yourself to do everything lest it seem that you have forgotten them & no longer love them and in the process disconnecting & isolating yourself from everyone around you
#idk it hit#I’m a little tired of the vague horror leabian genre like sometimes I want concrete details#but this one was different#our wives under the sea
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