#but they were like 50 bucks LMAO | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pinkeos · 11 days

Note

Hi, hope you're doin well! love your fics lmao. If I could request something? No pressure though lmao.

Just been thinking; afab argenti who's a virgin, gently helping him learn about it and through it - he's so sensitive that he can hardly handle rubbing - eating him out and he's a twitchy mess, almost squealing, pulling your hair (wont stop apologizing afterwards lmao) so something along those lines if it'd be alright? Up to you ofc

AFAB!Argenti x GN!Reader || 18+ MDNI

Warning/s: Cunnilingus, fingering, virgin argenti

Notes: IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG ANON😭 this is my first time writing argenti, he's my first limited 5*, first 50/50 won and first main so i hope this is alright🥹

You were Argenti’s home. His resting place for when his travel throughout the cosmos made him weary. You were the only one he could return to and the only one that he couldn't bear to be without unlike several other things he left behind for his knighthood. Could he blame himself, though? When you touched him and kissed him like he was the only thing in the universe worthy of your affection?

Gentle yet firm, your hand held his jaw and made him face forward, his face reddening at the sinful sight of himself in the mirror, bare and panting like a dog in heat. You parted his thighs with your other hand, showing his pussy dripping with arousal and clenching frustratingly around nothing.

You sat behind him, a smile on your face as you took in the sight of him, the confident and strong knight nothing but meek and submissive in your arms. As much as you wanted to fold him, pound him like there was no tomorrow, you held back for his sake. He was a virgin, after all. You'd hate it if he felt pain rather than pleasure on his first time.

Slowly, your hand traveled from his chest down to his inner thigh, teasing him with featherlight touches. This made the knight whine, hips bucking up against the air as pleas fell from his lips, “Please, my love, please. I want your touch, please.”

You pressed a kiss on the crook of his neck, nibbling on his skin and sucking, leaving a trail of love bites as you made your way down to his shoulder, “Patience, dear. I love seeing you like this.”

He felt bashful at the way your eyes lingered on the reflection of his naked body, a different look from the usual soft adoration you'd give him. But he wouldn't complain, though. It was him who wanted this in the first place, he wanted you to be his first, to guide him through his first experience.

Who knew you could be this cruel, using your fingers to part his pussy lips, his quivering hole and sensitive clit on full view, whispering filthy words in his ears.

A gasp tumbled out of Argenti’s mouth when your finger touched his clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves ever so slowly as he familiarizes himself with the foreign feeling. It felt weird, but also good.

“You’re so wet just from kissing and a bit of touching. How adorable.” You cooed.

He could only whimper, head tilting to the side as his eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed as you continued your gentle touches on his clit, “I-I can't… please.”

Chuckling, you decided to cut the teasing for now. You inserted your index finger inside of him, earning yourself a loud moan from the man. Your other free hand kept a hold on his thigh so he wouldn't have a chance to close them. His back arched when you began pumping your finger in and out, adding a second one once you deemed he was wet enough for another.

“Nnghh! D-darling, I…” He stammered, hips humping your hand as you continued pumping his cunt, curling and uncurling your fingers inside of him, rubbing at a specific spot that made him see stars.

The wet, lewd noises coupled with the euphoric feeling of your fingers inside him drove him near the edge. And his toes curled, hand holding holding onto your bicep, “W-wait— ohh!— dear, please, wait…”

Your eyes remained fix on his face, basking at how his face twisted in ecstasy from your fingers alone, waiting for any sort of discomfort while your fingers never relented on fucking into him.

With a loud moan, his thighs spasmed as he came all over your fingers. He was panting, coming down from his high as you slowly pulled your digits out of him, gathering what you could of his cum with them and placing them in your mouth.

Argenti’s eyes widened at the sight, cheeks flushing a shade that rivaled his hair as you moaned in delight at his taste.

“You taste amazing.” You praised, kissing his cheek, “I need more of you.”

His eyes curiously followed you as you stood up, a yelp coming out of him when you grabbed his hips and pulled him to the edge of the bed until only his upper half was on it. You parted his legs, placing them over your shoulder as you kneeled, face merely inches away from his pussy that he could feel your warm breath.

The knight's back arched off the bed when you drove straight into eating him out, hips squirming at the onslaught of pleasure from your tongue lapping at his folds and sucking the remainder of cum out of him, gulping down eagerly. You ate him like a hungry, deprived man presented with his last meal.

Your nose bumped into his clit, the vibrations from your own moans sending waves of euphoria through every inch of his body. His thick thighs pressed against either side of your head, his fingers running through and tugging at your hair.

He could see from the mirror placed across from the two of you how lewd the faces he was making, tears brimming in his eyes and lips swollen from how much he was biting them. Argenti’s never felt this way before, and he was glad it was you that was making him feel so good.

“Haah! Please— ahh! Nggh! More, please!” He whimpered, grinding his pussy against your face, his hold on your hair tightening as the knot on his stomach did the same.

He could feel it again, he was almost there, just a bit more. Your tongue entering his hole, licking at his walls and slurping the sticky fluid of his arousal only served to tip him over the edge yet again, eyes rolling to the back of his head and thighs tightening around your head.

You groaned, smiling against his sensitive, swollen cunt. You helped him through his second orgasm, letting him come back from his high. He fell back on the bed, eyes half lidded and spent, chest rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath. The way his long, red hair spread under him, creating some sort of halo around him and the way he looked so fucked out almost wanted you to bring out your phone and snap a picture.

Maybe next time, though. He was evidently too spent to go all the way, and you didn't want to overwhelm him. For now, you prioritized cleaning him up and offering him water, to which he gratefully accepted.

“My apologies, for pulling your hair.” He frowned, placing his head on your chest, “I was too caught up in the moment and—”

Your chuckle cut him off, along with the short, sweet kiss you pressed to his lips, “Oh, darling, you don't have to apologize for something as small as that. You can even pull harder next time, I don't mind.”

#honkai star rail #hsr #honkai star rail fanfic #x reader #argenti #hsr argenti #hsr argenti x reader #argenti x reader #argenti x reader smut #argenti smut #i love my silly sm

112 notes · View notes

archerygun · 1 month

Text

Small detail I liked in Frozen Empire

That little bit where Ray gets mad at Nadeem for trying to ‘sell his heritage for 50 bucks’ or whatever is so in character for Ray. (I know they referenced TRGB for this movie, I’m citing that as canon here.)

Ray is very much proud of his ancestry and heritage. Buddy has encyclopaedic knowledge of what his family were doing when at the forefront of his memory. He tried to preserve all his nan’s shit from when their family fled Russia way back when. There are a not insignificant amount of TRGB episodes about Ray’s ancestry. Of course he’s going to be offended when this idiot shows up and tries to sell his Nana’s priceless historical artifacts for a couple of dollars, and that’s not even TOUCHING the firemaster bit.

I like seeing what actually gets on Ray’s nerves since he’s usually a really chill guy, and him getting snippy with Nadeem made me smile. (As well as Podcast’s disapproving head shake lmao he’s just like his dumbass ghostbuster bonus dad).

This is going in the list of top Ray Stantz moments alongside ‘You’re my one listener on Soundcloud!’ or whatever the quote was from Afterlife.

#the ghostbusters #ghostbusters #ghostbusters frozen empire #ghostbusters ray #ray stantz #nadeem razmaadi #dan aykroyd #kumail nanjiani #podcast ghostbusters #just some thoughts #the real ghostbusters

43 notes · View notes

whorekneecentral · 1 year

Text

december 6th - missed flights // j.b22

Jenson Button x Fem!Reader

Warnings: age gap (reader is over 20!), sexual tension from the start, dad’s best friend, slight power imbalance, oral (f! and m!receiving), penetrative sex, kitchen sex!, slight manhandling, mutual orgasm, slight cum play.

Word Count: 2,537

Author’s Note: timelines don’t full add up but don’t focus on that lmao

Holiday Advent Calendar

---

snow lined the streets of the city, cold and stuck; you had nowhere else to go. you turned to the one person you were sure was home.

“Are you sure there’s nothing available? I really need to get home.” You tell the woman at the counter who looked like she was on her very last nerve.

“Ma’am, I understand that you need to get home but so does everybody else in this line. Flights are cancelled due to the weather and I'm not sure when another flight will be available. You're welcome to sign up online and wait for updates.” She tells you, trying her best to keep her calm.

“Do you have any idea when it’s expected to clear?”

“According to the news, Sunday.”

Your eyes widen, trying not to scream in the middle of the airport. “Sunday?! That’s after Christmas.”

“I’m sorry, there's nothing I can do.” The lady tells you, peeking behind you. “Next!” She shouts, telling you it's time to move on.

Sighing, you pull your luggage behind you and find a vacant corner to sit in until you figure something out. It was currently Thursday night, you were supposed to go home on Wednesday but got stuck in the city because of work and had to push your flight. Now you couldn't go home due to the snowstorm.

So you're going to miss Christmas indefinitely.

You didn’t even live there, you were just visiting for work. Now you were stranded and surely with all the cancellations, the hotels are packed. There’s no way you’re spending the next 3 days in that disgustingly full airport.

There’s one idea in your head but it’s insane.

You haven’t seen him in years, would he even remember you? Would he let you in? Are you going to end up stranded in the streets all alone in a snow storm?

Can't know if you don’t try.

Buttoning your coat back up, you rush outside to hail the first available taxi you find. The taxi takes you to 3 streets before where you need to go; the roads are jammed with traffic and snow plows trying to clear the way. It’s a madhouse once you get out of the taxi; people trying to get home, the roads still busy as ever even with all the snow.

Making all but 50 feet before the wheel on your suitcase gives out. You bend down to try and fix it but your coat gets caught on the fence behind you and when you tug to get it loose, you’re 99% sure it just ripped.

Okay, you’re a big girl, buck up. You can make it.

Hopefully he still lives there.

Picking up the suitcase, you trudged through the snow until you reached the brownstone you’re looking for. Carefully making your way up the steps, you stamp off your snowy boots and shake the snow out of your hair before knocking.

Lights are on, someone is home.

The door opens and the person you’re looking for appears in front of you. Jenson looks at you for a moment before it clicks who was on his doorstep.

“Y/n? What’re you doing here?” He asks.

To be fair, it was the right question to ask considering you haven’t seen the man in nearly ten years. You were 14 the last time you saw him, now you were 23. Jenson and your father were good friends, he worked for Brawn while Jenson raced for them.

They saw each other at least once a year but you’re always busy or you don’t care to go but now you were standing on his front step really hoping he’ll let you in.

“Well,” you chuckle. “That’s actually a funny story. I was in the city for work, got delayed by work because I was supposed to leave yesterday and I had to push my flight but big shocker, I��m not on it cause well...” you gesture to the snow. “Anywho, the wheel on my suitcase is broken, I’m pretty sure there’s a hole in my coat from when I bent down to fix the wheel, I’m freezing, my phone is almost dead and I have nowhere else to go, so here I am.”

He steps to the side, leaving the doorway open. “Come in,” he says, letting you step in and he helps you lug the suitcase in. “Jesus, what do you have in here?”

“Not Jesus, that’s for sure.” You answer on first instinct and Jenson laughs as he shuts the door. “Still have your father’s humour I see.”

“Some things don’t change.” You tell him, shrugging off your coat. “I hope I'm not imposing, I'll look for a hotel tomorrow. It's so hectic out there right now.”

Jenson takes the coat and hangs it up by the door. “No need to fuss about that, you can stay as long as you like.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to ruin your plans.” You say, nodding towards the half decorated tree. He shakes his head, ushering you towards the living room. “No plans, I’ve been slacking on the Christmas spirit this year.”

“Well since I’m here, I can help you if you’d like. I don’t know if you know, but I happen to be an expert in Christmas cheer.”

Jenson laughs, “I do remember. The moment Thanksgiving was over, you were pulling out the boxes.”

“Still the same,” you tell him, looking through the ornaments he had. “Now are you more of a multicolour guy or do you have a theme?”

Jenson sits on the coffee table, shrugging. “I was going to put all of those on and hope for the best.” He tells you plainly and you laugh, thinking he’s joking but the lack of smile tells you he was serious.

“Oh- you actually.. okay.” You press your lips together to hold back a smile. “I’m thinking,” you reach into the box to pull out a blue and a gold. “These?”

“Perfect,” he says, eyes on you; he wasn’t talking about the ornaments. Your baby blue sweater fit you perfectly, the black jeans snug to every curve and your hair was pulled back, the few strands out of place showed your hassle to get there.

Jenson wondered if he was extra good this year for you to show up at his door steps all these years later.

He sat there for a few moments, watching as you carefully hung the ornaments on the tree. Clearly there was a method to the chaos. “Hungry ?” He asks, reaching for his phone.

“I could eat,” your back turned to him, fluffing the branches. “What do you have?”

“I’ll order from the Chinese takeout down the road.”

“Are they going to be open? Better yet, how are they gonna get here?”

“It's a 2 minute walk, sweetheart.” He says, the word causing a fluttering in your stomach. “I’ll see if they’re delivering.” Jenson steps out of the living room to make the call and you glance over your shoulder to look at him.

His grey shirt clung to his shoulders and it seemed like the first time you were noticing how handsome he is. I mean, it was no secret that Jenson was attractive, even when you were a teenager, you knew he was good looking just based on the way women were obsessed with him.

You can hear bits and pieces of the conversation, he orders what sounds like the entire place before he peeks back into the living room. “I’m gonna take a shower, unless you need my help with the tree?”

You had already rearranged all of the ornaments he put up. “Um, no I'm good. Almost done anyways.” You smiled and watched as he headed upstairs.

It had been 20 minutes since Jenson had gone upstairs and the doorbell rang; the delivery.

You thanked the guy, paid for the food and tipped him before you sent him on his way. You were setting the bags on the coffee table when he came back down. “The food came,” he says, stating the obvious.

Turning, you find Jenson shirtless behind you, the shirt tossed over his shoulder. “Did you find my wallet ?” He asks and your brows pull together.

“What?”

“How’d you pay?”

“I paid.”

“My wallet was by the door, you could have grabbed the cash out of it.”

“It’s fine,” you tell him, sitting on the couch. “You’re letting me stay here, it's the least I could do.”

You and Jenson sit in comfortable silence, splitting the million and one things he ordered. You caught him up on what your parents had been up to and he told you about his latest ventures post racing. You won't lie, you knew he was reporting for Sky Sports; more often than not you turned it on just to see a familiar face when you traveled for work, though you’d never admit that to him.

Afterwards you two clear up the trash and the leftovers, taking them into the kitchen. You decide to wash the few dishes left over from dinner and Jenson offers to make tea.

The man reached over your head to grab a mug out of the cupboard, his chest pressed against your back. You can feel something pushed up against your ass, he was wearing sweatpants so it couldn't have been a belt.

“Jenson,” you turn to face the man and he looks down at you.

Any thought of getting a mug or tea was long gone.

The man pins you against the counter, his lips find yours as his hand cups your jaw. The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife, Jenson’s hands wandering across your body, tugging on the sweater you had on.

Pulling and pushing, little by little the clothes end up on the floor.

He lifts you onto the counter, your legs on either side of him as he steps between them. Rubbing up your thigh with one hand, the other pulls you by your chin to look at him. Your eyes find his, watching as he sinks to his knees in front of you.

Your hands are flat on the counter as you feel his tongue against you. Jenson’s arms hook around your thighs, pulling you closer to him. Your hips jut forward when you feel his tongue against your clit, your hand gripping on his blonde hair.

Jenson glances up at you and you’re like an angel on earth to him right now; head tossed back, skin glistening under the white light of the kitchen, his head buried between your legs.

The hand on your thigh shifts to between your legs, two fingers slowly pushing into you. You feel him curl his fingers slowly. “Jense- fuck, there.” You pull on his hair, getting him to do what he did again.

Despite this being the first time you two hooked up, Jenson couldn't bring himself to say no to you. You had him wrapped around your finger.

Jenson mimicked his actions again until he can feel your legs shake, your grip on his hair tighter than before, his name strung along with the explicits leaving your mouth.

He gives you a minute to catch your breath as he kisses his way back up to your face.

Your cheeks go red when you see his face glistening, nose to chin. Jenson’s tongue slides across his lips, a satisfied smile on his face. He smiles, kissing you and you're even more read than you were before.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” you whisper to him, eyes fixed on his hand that was wandering across your chest at the moment.

Jenson’s lips follow his fingers, kissing and leaving little marks as he goes along his way. His tongue brushes over your nipple, your back arches involuntarily; your body betrays you.

“We can stop,” he says, a hand slipping between your legs.

“No, I don’t-” you stop talking and pull him closer, kissing him once more; your way of telling him yes.

Jenson’s hand rubbing along your thigh before pulling you toward the edge of the counter a little more before he pushes into you. One ankle is over his shoulder and the other hooked around his hip.

He fucks you the way he knows you’d like it; rough.

And once again, you were a sight to see; back arched off the counter, eyes closed and your head tilted back, his name tumbling from your lips for what felt like the millionth time.

Jenson has never seen a prettiest sight.

He feels you clench around him, the hand on his shoulder digs in, your nails leaving behind their own set of marks. His hand reaches between the two of you, his fingers finding your clit once again. “Oh my god,” your hips bucked, Jenson’s fingers matching the pace of his hips, your body rocking back and forth to get the most out of him.

“C’mon sweetheart, want you to cum for me.” Jenson says, knowing it won't be long more.

He watches as your eyes flutter shut and he reaches you with his other hand, holding your jaw and pulling you up a little, your elbows holding up the weight of your body.

“Look at me when you cum.”

You’re forcing yourself to keep your eyes open, focusing on Jenson. A few more sloppy thrusts and between that and his fingers, you’re over the edge.

He kisses you, muffling the noise you were making.

Without warning, Jenson pulls out of you and pulls you off the counter. You were confused as to what was happening, still in a post orgasm daze.

The man has you on your knees, looking up at him.

The dots connect the moment his cock’s pressed to your tongue and he watches as you circle your tongue around the tip.

“Fuck,” he leans back against the counter, pushing your head down to take all of him in your mouth. His eyes are fixed on you, hand tangled in your hair as you take all of him in your mouth.

The sight alone was enough to get him to cum and it did.

You look up at him through your lashes as swallow.

Jenson’s hand finds your chin, leaning down to kiss you. “Good girl,” he mumbles against your lips.

He helps you up, giving you his shirt to wear as he puts his pants back on. You yawn as you lean on the counter, redressed this time. “Tired?” He asks, and you hum, nodding.

“Do you still want some tea or wanna go to bed?”

“Bed,” you tell him, your hand reaching out for his. Jenson’s fingers interlock with yours before you let him lead the way upstairs to his bedroom.

“This doesn’t look like a guest room,” you say, sitting on the bed. Jenson smiles when he joins you on the bed, “guest room? Who said anything about that.” He says, leaning over to kiss you.

You two get comfortable, settling in beside each other and under the sheets. “Have you got plans for the holidays ?” You ask him and he shrugs.

“I didn’t but since you’re stuck here, I'm sure we can come up with something.” He says, leaning down to kiss you once more.

----

taglist: @diorleclerc @timetoracewrites @lickmeleclerc @halsteadssneakylink @shea-theodore @hypermess @carronyaflowers @breakmyheart1000 @skarlettmikaelson @1234-angelika @flannel-cures @lovelytsunoda @somanyflippingbooks @thewintersunset @ccrobbs @kingvetski @molliemoo3 @ophcelia @chilisainz55 @earfquak3 @solo-pitstop-vibes @magnummagnussen @wallfloweriism @pg10ln4 @spicyromancevirgin @F1-ruined-my-life @omigodyall @ifancycharlesleclerc @micksmidnights @sagediorfairy @p4st3lst4rs @dearxcherry @symmi @redfives @gersleclerc @whoreofthepaddock @ally4and33 @kaycolecole @secret @alwaysclassyeagle @Hghnz20 @ellalovesvettel @dragon-of-winterfell @Princessbetsy321 @starlightvettel @ricsaigaslec @harryssunflow3r @mistrose23 @honeybadgercomeback @dreams-and-cookies @anthonykatebridgerton @lynnismypseudonym @uhhevie @omigodyall @chilisainz55 @ohnoitstanya @punkladymoes @strulovitches @miniminescapist @indieclarke

** tagged everyone exactly how they put it on the taglist! let me know if something needs to be changed with your user :)

#anj’s holiday advent calendar #jenson button #jenson button smut #jenson button x reader #f1 smut

406 notes · View notes

itzsana-kiddingmenow · 2 days

Note

Lee! Jay Ler! Enha

Okay— In like En'o'clock ep. 26 they played that game where you press down the teeth on the crocodile. Ot7 decided to play another game off camera and Jay lost ^^

I've been requesting sm Enha recently apologies 🥲

𝙘𝙧𝙤𝙘𝙤:

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨: 700

𝙖/𝙣: my bias wrecker EEEE you guys are probably so tired of my crappy fic names LMAO

𝙩/𝙬: rough tickles 🫠

𝒍𝒆𝒆: jay

𝙡𝙚𝙧: enhypen

𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕: @someone-who-loves-kpop-saranghae @jeonginsdiary @leeknowstan33 @v--143 @wereallgonnadieonedaybutnottoday @inkytornpagess @lajanaa @a-wild-seungberry @channieissocute125 @soap143 @seungsluvv @skznccmlee @moony-9 @sunny-117

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞? 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐮𝐛s 🐾

Jungwon gingerly pressed another tooth in the tiny crocodile’s mouth, the toy shaking, but not snapping shut.

After the scene filmed of them playing the crocodile game, the group had decided to play it separately in their own time.

“Your turn!” Sunoo called, Sunghoon was giggling suspiciously as Jay examined the two leftover teeth on the crocodile toy.

It was a 50/50 chance, either he won or he didn’t. Jay shut his eyes and pressed one with a wince, almost letting out a cheer of victory until the toy snapped down on his finger.

“No!” He gasped, and Heeseung suddenly had the idea to throw himself onto the younger and knock him to the floor.

“Now Jay lost, and that means he gets a punishment.” The oldest announced. Jay began to squirm away, eyes widening in horror as the other members approached him with a grin.

“W-Wait!! What punishment?!” He squealed cutely when his arms and legs were stretched apart, extended away from each other.

Jay only realized he was completely immobile by the time Heeseung’s fingers met his lower sides, and his face immediately contorted into what looked like a painful smile as he struggled to hold in his inevitable laughter.

The American kicked out lightly behind Heeseung’s back, the oldest moving his fingers further up to slip his cold hands under Jay’s shirt, scribbling along the boy’s bare sides.

Jay whimpered, staring at the eldest pleadingly as all the other members cooed at him from the sidelines.

“Look! He’s trying so hard to hold it in!” Jake laughed, Sunoo flushing red at the sight of the fingers wiggling along Jay’s bare body.

“What if I…” Sunghoon slipped a finger up Jay’s socked foot, causing the older to jerk harshly with a held back smile.

When Heeseung’s fingers moved higher to the bottoms of his ribs, Jay punched the floor with his clenched fists, closing his eyes and straining hard.

He broke out into an unwanted smile when Sunghoon continued his slight movements along his feet, and a small giggle made its way through his barricade.

“Awe, he finally giggled a bit!” Jungwon smiled softly as Jay bucked up desperately at the light scribbling at his ribs, but it was all over the moment Heeseung reached his armpits.

Jungwon grabbed his arms and tightened them over his head just as Jay screamed with laughter, throwing his head back and letting out every noise he had tried to hold back. Laughter, crazed giggles, loud screams, you name it.

“NAAAHAHAHAHA!! NO PLEASE—LEHEHEAVE ME AHAHALONE!!” He pleaded, the massaging into his sensitive pits drove him absolutely crazy.

“No can do.” The leader above his head responded.

Niki decided to join in, squishing at the older’s sides and scribbling over his belly, causing Jay to squeal defeatedly.

More and more hands joined in, and Jay was dying. The boy had a bright red face, tears streaming down his cheeks, eyes crinkled up from his bright smile, and the loudest, most hysterical laughter the members had ever heard from him.

“STAHAHAHAHA—GUHUHUYS PLEHEHEHEASE I GIHIHIHIVE!!”

Jay gasped when the fingers eased up into lightly scribbling over his body, a break compared to the roughness of the tickles he had just been given.

“Nohoho plehehease nohoho mohohohore!!” Jay giggled, a heartwarming smile on his face and cheeks a cute shade of red.

“Pleeeaase?~” Niki pleaded, but the older shook his head, fully tapping out.

Everyone let go of him, and the boy slumped exhaustedly underneath them. “Soho meaann…” He panted.

“Sorry, hyung. But you lost.” Sunoo laughed.

All the boys exchanged glances, and before Sunoo knew it, he was being chased across the dorm, pleading for mercy from his inevitable punishment.

#kpop tickle #midzywannabeitzy #enhypen #enhypen tickle #lee jay #ler enhypen

21 notes · View notes

neverevan · 25 days

Note

Feels like a lot of people who hate on the age gap between Abby and Buck, now love the idea of a big age gap between Buck and Tommy, which is very telling... (especially since like you said, yes he was young, but Buck was really not a baby in s1 -the man was old enough to have been traveling a lot and be a barman in Peru lol).

it's kind of interesting how people react to either, but ofc we can't forget that the age of the actors and the age of the characters are slightly different, because where there is only about 7 years between Oliver and Lou, Connie is like 25 years older than Oliver, though her character was only 16 years older... it's a lot of math lmao

but if it was about a 42yo male character dating a 26yo female character, I feel like the pushback would be much less prominent... with Tommy, on one side I think it's just a desperate grasping for straws to find a legitimate reason to hate him when in most cases, it's just the fact that he's not Eddie.

and you know that's okay if that's what it is, but let's be real here; dating with a 10-12 year age gap when you're in your thirties is not a big deal at all.

and yeah Buck has plenty of life experience and in his own words he dated "at least 50 yoga instructors" so I dare to assume not all of them were his age.

if he doesn't care about that, why should we?

on the other side it's just the daddy kink I guess lmao

#bucktommy #babby #evan buckley #911 #911 abc #ask #anon #sorry i had to edit this cuz i kinda went off #and didn't quite respond to what was said lmao

22 notes · View notes

catcafesponsor · 8 months

Text

reea's awesome guide to: the perfect break in 2 rating

if you havent heard of break in 2 yet then youve been living under a rock. welcome to roblox power source of imagination!

erm so lets assume youve played break in 2. and made it to the final boss battle.

basically scary mary rates you based on your preparation. theres 5 main things that she'll critique

your training stats (strength and speed)

the amount of food items you have

the weapon youre holding

if youre wearing the golden armor

the amount of npcs you have

and if youre like me (i bet you are) you were VERY sad VERY VERY SO SAD when she LAUGHED!! but LAUGH she will no more because i have made the guide to getting the "perfect" rating

before i give you my MASTERFUL tips make sure youre doing this with a team of slightly experienced players at least. doing this alone is no easy task and i have yet to do that.

enjoy! i guess!

Training

Requirement: Level 5 stat + Level 3 stat

i honestly dont think this is hard to explain. in break in 2 theres a gym and you can train your stats there!

the easiest way to get the max rating on your training stats is a level 5 stat and a level 3 stat, resulting in 8 points total. 4 and 4 will NOT work.

i usually go for strength because treadmill sucks to grind on, but youll want to get 4 strength 3 speed.

you can get a rainbow pizza to boost a stat by 1 via one of those crates you open in the base or the vault kitchen. for the vault kitchen youll want to have 200 bucks to buy the key from the vending machine! DO NOT grab the rainbow pizza. get smoeone else to do it. you cant eat the rainbow pizza if you grab the box, after all!

Food

Requirement: 10 food items

well this one is just easy. make sure to conserve food! i think certain food items (chip bags, golden pizza, stuff like that) counts for 2 or more so dont worry if you only have like. 7. just keep a chip bag or the such handy on you!

a golden apple also counts for like 1 bazillion but i dont think its worth it since you lose a lot of valuable training time by getting the gapple

Weapon

Requirement: The strongest weapon

theres a vending machine in the shop and it dispenses weapons. rare is a golden crowbar (trash), epic is a diamond crowbar (trash), legendary has a few possible "strongest weapons".

theres also a board next to the weaponized vending machine in the shop and if you spam the papers until they all fall off you can see what the strongest weapon is. it could be a bat, a wrench, a rake, just any of the legendary weapons. its a random one.

then you have to gamble until you get it! easy at that. probably the easiest to take care of on this list

Armor

Requirement: Armor lmao

to get armor, you have to go through this 4 step plan

have 150 bucks on you

beat up EVERYONE in the fight zone upstairs (50 people total, can be done with friends to speed up the process by a lot)

open the fight room by hitting the door with level 4+ strength and any weapon

buy the armor from the vending machine in the fight room not the shop

thats all. a little annoying if you arent going for the max level strength route, because youd have to find someone else with 4+ strength but its fine

NPCs

Requirement: Uncle Pete, Twado the Dog, Detective Bradley Beans

ha hahaha HAHAHAHHAHAHA i hate this.

for uncle pete youll have to free him from his cage next to the fight room. you can get the key from inside the kitchen drawer in any spot. DO NOT SWITCH TO A DIFFERENT ITEM OR YOU WILL DROP THE KEY! you can get to the kitchen faster if you craft a parent with a child to make a lockpick

for twado the dog youll.. ugh.. have to go up to the board next to the sign and spam the papers. eventually theyll all fall and reveal the food twado wants! it could be an apple, soda, a pizza or a cookie. if its a pizza or a soda you might as well just restart because those are hell to deal with!

once you find the food he wants go outside of the base and to the left on the "dog trail" where you can retrieve twado and bring him back safely. you only need level 3 speed for it but youll have to be careful with your jumps. DO NOT LET TWADO SLIP ON THE ICE. YOU HAVE TO FEED HIM AGAIN IF SO.

aaaaand detective beaners bones. i hate this guy. so much. but what you need to do is first have 3 speed and a soda (or any means of speeding yuorself up).

you want to complete ALL 3 of uncle pete's tasks (defeat 3 bad guys, then defeat 10, and then beat the pizza boss or clear our the fight room). after he will give you hsi treasured rat!

go upstairs, to the opposite side of the tv where a ladder will be. climb it and make the jump using your speed bonus. if you get the Gym Powerup event the delivery guy brings a ladder which you can place to make the jump much easier but its not necessary really

put the rat on the table and make beans have an allergic reaction and run.

hooray. you did it! you got the perfect rating!

..see why you shouldnt do this solo now?

#break in 2 #roblox #i wasted so much time on this #someone pls use this #donr let it go to waste :'(#reea ramble

45 notes · View notes

clockwards · 2 years

Text

i watched all 15 seasons of criminal minds in 29 days. these were my thoughts

----------

Garcia being normal Garcia: 🤪

Hotch, quietly: remind me to have her drug tested

Reid: Kevin and Penelope sitting in a tree? JJ, that's just dangerous, do you know the statistics on-

"yeah I'm fine, he wrote me a letter explaining why he left, just like my father did when he left my mother and I" REID LMAO

Gideon and Hotch giggling happily over charlie chaplin films <3<3 work dads

man with multiple personalities: do I *look* like personality no.2??

Reid [staring directly into the camera]: 👁️👁️

Reid making mini rockets and Hotch being a grumpy proud dad about it fhevfhhevdhsgdvsh THEM

"If I weren't a lesbian, I would absolutely jump your bones" [aimed at Gideon]

psychopath who only wants to talk to Reid: 😚

Reid: why don't i ever get any normal fans :(

Random detective [about Reid]: where did you find this kid?

Rossi, whispering: He was left in a basket on the steps of the FBI

Hotch: we do not have jurisdiction over this very personal set of cases

The Team: 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Hotch: ......okay just be quIET ABOUT IT

Rossi: My wife always said I had a flair for the dramatic

Hotch: Which one?

Rossi: ...all of them 😀

Morgan, Reid, Emily, Garcia [staring Hotch down]: we love and care for you

Hotch: im gonna kms

Rossi, interrogating a suspect: I fucked your wife (real not fake)

Hotch: Son, you're taking over the business

Morgan: Oh! A promotion!?

Hotch [dumping paperwork in front of him]

Morgan: Oh no! A promotion!!

[during Hotch's review after The Reaper incident]

Strauss, to the team: 😡😡 Hotch 😡😡

Strauss, to Hotch: 😔😔 Hotch 😔😔

Hotch: any word on Prentiss?

JJ: she's arguing with the doctors

Hotch, nodding: Good

Hotch: There are lots of ways sons defeat their fathers

Reid, cheerfully: I just keep getting PhD's!

[about budget cuts]

Rossi: Let's just hope they don't take the coffee

Reid, very seriously: I'd quit

Rossi: well yeah, that'd save them about 50 bucks a week

[looking at a machine gun]

Reid: I don't think I have the qualifications to use that

Hotch & Morgan, in unison: You don't.

[the most suspicious man alive, saying something extremely suspicious]

Emily Prentiss: yes sir I will follow you to this dark secluded secondary location

Every member of the BAU: ily

Prentiss, with an arsenal of guns: BACK! BACK, STRANGE CREATURES!

Strauss holding back the entire BAU by the scruffs of their necks like feral cats: I Wish I Had Dogs

Morgan, sending all the press to Reid: 😀

Reid: No more FBI I'm becoming a criminal just to kill you

Strauss: Please hire someone normal

Hotch: Here's Doctor Reid, a child who has never passed a field test

Strauss: I'm literally begging you

Victim: what are you doing????

Unsub: well this is a *gun*, and inside of it are what we call *bullets*

"a member of the team is in jeopardy"

me: is it Reid? I really hope it's Reid.

Garcia: altruism is sexy

Hotch, very seriously: yes it is

The BAU team's nosiness

Reid's secrecy over a girl

- FIGHT -

Random teen: Get fucked old man

Rossi: Gamer on gamer violence. This is so sad.

Blake: I don't have any children...except Reid

Reid: I'm not your child though?

Blake: EXCEPT REID

Anyone: I love you

Reid, just not like other girls: ....Thomas Merton?

Blake: People just need to say what they mean

Reid: Life would be so much easier without chit-chat

[A Tale as Old as Time - Autism Bros™]

Reid: I don't like technology

Garcia: Technology doesn't like you, genius

Rossi: All of my marriages have failed, I'm not exactly what you would call a family man

Hotch: We literally have 5 kids together

[on first meeting]

Hotch: I'm offering you a job hunting psychopaths

Garcia, caught trying to stop animal testing: I *am* a psychopath

Rossi, joining the BAU: I have gotten a first husband, fourth wife, and multiple children just by entering this office. I'm the real family speedrunner

Reid: My dad leaves and suddenly I've got new contenders lining up like it's the bachelor

Hotch: You're not even that great a son

Reid: You were literally first in line

Bomb Squad: You called??

Morgan: Early bird gets the explosive worm, bitch

Hotch: How long do you need to do this impossibly long task that no one else could complete?

Reid: Like 30 minutes

Hotch: Awesome. Do it faster

Reid: I'm arresting you for murder

Cat: ...are we about to kiss?

Cat: You have mommy issues

Reid: L + Ratio. You have daddy issues *worse*

Morgan: It's my turn to be kidnapped and tortured

Reid and JJ: nnOOO MY BRAAAANDD

Alvez: Why won't you be nice to me

Garcia: I'm always nice. Look, this is my nice face 😒

Prentiss: This guy is probably a loner, definitely has commitment issues...

Alvez, just made a full-course meal for his dog: 😤

UnSub: I NEED A DOCTOR

Tara, cocking a gun: I'm not taking appointments

Reid: I need to take some time off to look after my mom

[is arrested for drug posession and murder in Mexico]

Reid: ........so how's my mom?

The Team: We're so worried about Spencer in prison

Reid: I made friend :]

Prentiss: Luke is snarky. You are snarky. Please just try to get along

Garcia: You don't understand. We cancel each other out

Reid, entering prison: I am going to make So Many enemies

Mr Scratch, doing anything: 😏

The Team: It's a trap. Let's go!

Alvez: I can tell, you're a cat person

Prentiss: Got the nine lives to go with it, bitch

Cat: I'm pregnant. It's yours

Reid, shocked: You mean you're not a virgin?!

Cat:

Cat: I wish I killed you the first time round coME HERE-

Prentiss: I need a person I love and trust to relax with

Reid: ....are you gaslighting me into resting?

Prentiss: Yes. And it'll fuckin work.

Barnes: Don't you want to be unit chief? Don't you have....ambitions?

JJ: I'm ambitious about killing you. Wanna see?

Garcia: I hate newbie. He's terrible and stupid and has a dumb face and dumb thoughts-

Alvez: We literally just took a selfie together

Alvez:

Tara: ur mom

Alvez: I DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING SAY ANYTHING?

JJ, married with 2 kids: I'm a little bit in love with you

Reid, who took her on one date 15 years ago: 😯

Rossi: You can't ground me! I'm your dad!!

Prentiss: AND I'M YOUR FUCKING BOSS. GROUNDED!

[Luke and Matt go missing]

Prentiss: The boys! They took our boys!!

Reid: I'm.....right here?

#criminal minds #spencer reid #criminal minds incorrect quotes

165 notes · View notes

scintillyyy · 7 months

Text

more firefighter show stuff

so abby's back! still not a huge fan of the whole ghosting thing, but i accept it at this point.

buck and bobby fighting <3 there is so much insubordination in this show. anyways it reminds me of how earlier this year my husband helped out with academy training this year on account of he's going to get promoted so he had to go practice being a superior officer with some of their training and he was telling me all the scenarios they run going in to practice saving firefighters stuck inside. one of them is literally you can't save the firefighter (seriously, if you manage to somehow reach them in the tower at all before time is called the person in question will actively move away from you because you have to practice that no win scenario) and then you have to drag out someone who's fighting to stay in to try and "save" the dude. the year my husband did academy supposedly someone punched someone trying to get back into the tower in the name of acting, you had a bunch of dudes fake crying, they bring the "dead" guy out with an american flag and my husband was there like 😐

oh abby. farewell and good for you getting out of this mess. enjoy your life!

alright and i'm gonna go ahead and snark on maddie's pregnancy test there. because it is absolutely hilarious to me. so the pregnacy test she is holding looks to be a FRER (first response early result). i know these very well on account of i've probably taken like. between 50-100 of them total throughout my TTC journey, squinting at so many of them. they're what's called a "pink line" test and are generally seen as more reliable within the ttc community (you can also get cheap pink line tests for way cheaper (i also had many of those) but they tend to need a slightly higher level of hcg to pop a positive--i believe the FRERs will catch at about 10 mcg hcg in the urine, regular cheapies at 25 mcg hcg but it's been a bit so i could be wrong). with a pink line test you get two pink vertical lines on the test strip so it'll look like | |. the other type of test is a blue line test. blue line tests tend to be a little less reliable as in you're more likely to get a false positive and with a blue line test you get your result in the shape of a plus sign--if it's positive you see a blue +. On Maddie's FRERs they appear to have mixed the two tests--you can see it shows + |. it's just very funny to me because that's just not how those work lmao. (the digital tests that spit out pregnant or not pregnant on the screen are just fancy pink line tests. they just have a digital reader to see if there's one or two lines so you don't have to squint). also sematically i lowkey hate "we're pregnant". nah, only one of you is pregnant. "i'm pregnant, we're having a baby".

and onto season 4.

well. to start, maddie can have a cup of coffee. caffeine is not longer forbidden in pregnancy, they're told up to 300 mcg is fine. oh good, albert got her some. see this is why albert is my second favorite.

but this storyline does hit home a bit because i also had a pandemic pregnancy. luckily things were good enough in our county that my husband was able to participate in prenatal care as much as normal and we didn't feel like we needed to separate. though there was a lot of "hey you know that call you just wore a regular mask on versus n95 because it wasn't respiratory? that person tested positive." somehow we stayed clear in our household until january 2022 though lol. i was terrified when they did my covid test when i got admitted for delivery that it would somehow be positive.

anyways. we're getting to the buckley parents! i'm lowkey excited.

i did get scared when they deployed to texas though, i was very afraid i would have to see rob lowe on my screen.

but good, we don't. we have a terrible woman in the neighborhood in the next episode and can i also say that actress plays chessy in the parent trap and why would you do chessy like that, show!!!

oh man the buckleys are almost comically inept to me. like they're clearly not great. clearly they do seem to love their children. i can tell there's no sympathy for a parent who literally had a child of theirs die (i mean. yea. they did not handle it well.). i do have to laugh a little about the baby box thing because while. hm. obviously it's compounded by their overall terribleness but like. it's also kind of an unfortunate fact of life that younger siblings don't always get everything their older siblings gets because life gets so busy with multiples you genuinely don't have time or energy to keep up with the cutesy stuff. my sil is 9 years older than my husband. my mil did start a baby book for him...it ended at 9 months. she does feel a little bad about it. (my husband doesn't care and thinks it's funny).

like i will not defend the buckleys too much. they are clearly very dysfunctional. like the let's never talk about your dead brother and pretend he never existed is pretty awful, but aside from that, they kind of seem like. idk. run of the mill shitty parents?

every single one of these assholes has shown up to their first day without donuts. so rude.

wait. okay. watching the end of this episode. these are the devil parents???? the ones who don't know their children but end the episode finally telling him that they never blamed him and they're proud of him every day??? like. buck doesn't have to forgive them like he chose to. he doesn't owe them anything. but at least there's an attempt by them to try to make amends and apologize??? i mean it might be too little too late but they don't seem to be totally evil.

oh and they agreed to go to therapy with him to try and work things out????

wait. if the probie is b shift, that would make the main characters c shift, right? i was going to make a joke about c shift but then i looked up the actual lafd shift schedule and holy fuck is it needlessly confusing. 24on/24off/24on/24off/24on/96off? christ. people can barely understand 24-48 schedule sometimes. but they do have to do weird things to reduce total number of hours within the year worked on account of they work over 40 hours a week so weird schedules abound i guess.

anyways, it still works out to about 10 days of work/month like a traditional 24-48 does somehow so i guess it works. but why, lafd, why. that genuinely sounds like such a miserable schedule to keep track of i can't even-

#some firefighter bullshit

25 notes · View notes

lover-of-mine · 3 months

Text

seriously, the buddie nhl au written outside pov deranged fangirl liveblogging style is something that would be interesting?

i have like, 1k words in girl with a special interest language, I don't know if that's actually something interesting. Og post here, random snippet below the cut. The plan would be to start with an exposition dump when Buck gets drafted and build from that.

Random context: I have no idea what team they are on yet, Buck is a goalie, Eddie is a star centre, Buck plays with jersey number 50, Eddie is number 13. I also need to figure out formatting lol

anonymous asked: *Bestie I thought you were being dramatic, but Buckley's draft was the happiest I've ever seen Eddie with a camera pointed at him, now I have fallen down a rabbit hole and I need the lore. GIMME THE LORE*

buckleydiaz13: Me? Dramatic? About those two? Nah, never (lying)

AND I KNOW!!! Who knew the only thing you needed to get Eddie smiling through an interview was to give him back his 6’2 blue eyed bestie?? It's not like I spent the past 2 seasons saying that the only thing Eddie is missing is Buck or anything.

But welcome to the madness, let's get you all caught up on the buddie lore so you know what you're getting into lol

So, they were on the usa development team together and they were inseparable. Like, everything we saw about one, the other was close by. And Eddie was already being looked at closely, talked about as if he was going to be a great name on the nhl at 16 and he would bring up Buck for absolutely no reason, talk about them practicing late, hanging out, when he got drafted he talked about how Buck was one of the things that helped him get through the stress, it was crazy. And Buck is a goalie, so the expectation was not for them to be running drills together, yk? But they were. And when you look at it, you won't think it makes sense, especially if you know Eddie as Mr broody, because Buck is a golden retriever trapped in a human body, a complete wall on the ice, yeah, but out of it? That dude is a teddy bear. I know he has to take things seriously, he wouldn't have made it to the league if he didn't, but he's the embodiment of carefree and Eddie is just…not lmao. It was ridiculous, they had a very elaborate pre game ritual, that included a secret handshake, Eddie was seen wearing Buck's hoodie multiple times (oh Eddie in the #50 hoodie not realizing it and blushing all the way to his ears when he noticed I will never forget you), there's this one video of them showing around the arena for their last game before Buck went to college that they just keep bumping shoulders with how close they are walking, like, just hold hands already, it will be easier.

#i legit feel crazy #i typed that first post out just to get the idea somewhere #i didnt expect yall to like it #so tell me oaksasokassokasas #buddie nhl au #thoughts thoughts thoughts #writing

17 notes · View notes

halorocks1214 · 8 months

Text

okay so i just steamrolled thru detective pikachu returns over the past 2 days because i was sick and had nothing else better to do and right after finishing it i went into the tags and WOWIE the negative reception is very large!! i do understand and even agree with some of it but i just felt the need to get my own thoughts down (again. sick with nothing better to do) so take a peek under readmore for very typical elongated halo ramblings about his fave video game series

for the record i never played the first game (only watched a few clips of it on youtube even) but i did go see the movie in theaters. just figured i'd mention this ahead of time so my favoritism is known and to prevent myself from coming off as a perfectly unbiased reviewer

BEWARE THE SPOILERS BTW

(post-editing note: it be long under here, you have been warned)

to start off YEAG this game is not worth 50 bucks! the story's pacing is all over the place and is very basic, the graphics are not particularly well refined, the characters' expressions do not fluctuate as much as they should (professor gordon in particular ;-; i felt so bad for him), and the voice acting outside of merloch and detective pikachu himself are kinda phoned in! it felt like an early 2000s 4kids dub for real. even the gameplay aspects themselves were rather meh in presentation; the button hitboxes were annoying to deal with and as cool as i thought the "main" mechanics were they were incredibly clunky and the tension they tried to build up in the "solving the case" climaxes was just Not It. there was absolutely no reason for the loading/pauses to take that long

(the pokemon gimmicks were okay tho. i would die for growlithe)

however, this isn't a problem specific to this game. while i enjoyed scarlet it was definitely not 60 bucks material (and when i went back to it for the teal mask i even went "good lord, did it always run this badly?"). i gotta give credit to detective pikachu, at least this game ran properly for the most part and never crashed on me lmao

while that doesn't negate the criticisms i previously mentioned i simply wanted to say that this is going to be a problem for as long as pokemon keeps making money. this isn't me finger-wagging at anyone in particular (i certainly have no room to talk, i did say i liked scarlet), i just wanted to say: yeah, pokemon has been A Mess

"but halo!" you cry. "you talked like the negative reception was overblown! what gives the giant negative paragraph??"

because much like scarlet, i still really enjoyed this game sdfjnsdk. how can i say that with confidence, though, when i largely agree that there were many, many issues to be had with its performance?

the word of the day: expectations

and perhaps this is where my bias comes into it. whenever i play a spinoff game (like snap or pokepark for instance), i don't really go into it for mindblowing gameplay and stories, i do it for the same reason this series has kept me enraptured for over a decade of my life:

the pokemon themselves!!

there are SO MANY little things that the regular games don't go into, and while i have my own headcanons and OCs i can play off of, it is so much fun to see actual canon material acknowledge certain things you've only ever theorized about!!

the whimsicott were so fun to watch float around, the article asking where a furret's tail began and ended made me laugh out loud, the fact that they went hard into the "slowpoke tails are eaten as food" thing, and the "let's not get into that right now" jokes about venonat hunting other pokemon and dusknoir eating souls LIKE. i LOVE when pokemon goes into its more "serious" aspects. i know main series games do it too occasionally but outside of offhanded mentions or pokedex entries, do they go this hard into them? if they do and i'm just stupid pls tell me about it i'll eat that shit up

being reminded of less-talked-about pokemon is always a plus and how can you not pop off when you see one of your faves included in the story? (INTELEON AND WOOPER I'LL KICK THEIR ASSES 4 U) it's simply fun immersing yourself into the world of pokemon and getting a glimpse of what it would be like to have pokemon walking down the street and how that affects everyday life! maybe the story is basic, but it served its purpose and i had fun going along with it!

perhaps it's just my mental illness talking, but walking around and seeing all the pokemon and THEN doing the quiz girl's quizzes was actually kinda nice! even if the puzzles weren't that hard, i can't lie and say i didn't pump my fist when i guessed where the mystery was going like with cramorant swallowing the jewel or how the passimian statues needed to hold different berries. overall, i just enjoyed being reminded of how much i know and what i love about this series

also, the ways they incorporated the movie were pretty baller. i liked how they didn't just do a repeat of the mewtwo plot from the movie and let me tell you, even tho i called it early on, i liked that my suspicions about the aurora drop being deoxys were confirmed!! (i suppose it's not that hard to guess bcs what other pokemon comes from space, but i just recently finished playing omega ruby again and i normally don't think about deoxys a lot so LET ME HAVE THIS)

plus "i heard they made a movie about the R case" MADE ME SCREAM. i thought they were just going to ignore the movie and do their own thing but then they DID THAT. incredible. you can call my expectations low (which is valid) but holy fuck

so the TLDR for those who want this: if you want a sweet but cliche game exploring the world of pokemon with a lot of funny moments + worldbuilding, then this game is perfect for you. if you want a game with a groundbreaking story with graphics to boot, then yeah, you're not gonna find it here. i've even seen people say their own nostalgia of the original spinoff wasn't enough to get them to enjoy this game, so take my words with a grain of salt

i would say just watch compilations of the game on youtube, but not every youtuber is gonna go fully exploring the game for all of its little details, so if you care about that kind of stuff, buying the game is your best bet. also if you don't care about that kind of stuff then you should just ignore the game altogether etc etc anYwAY

as for a TLDR for the TLDR: new pokemon snap is goated and i would say a more enjoyable experience than this game esp if you didn't like it so PLEASE buy it the game's only 30 bucks and you can throw treats at pokemon PLEASE it has so many sidequests and interactions you can partake in PLEASE i prommy i won't bite PLEASE stick your fingers in my enclosure PLEASE PLEASE PLE

#pokemon #detective pikachu #detective pikachu returns #video game review #my post

19 notes · View notes

awkwardtickleetoo · 8 months

Text

Cal’s Favorites :O

hellooooo everyone :D

i was thinking about this earlier today, and i thought it was be fun to give a shoutout to some of my favorite fics and fic writers by making a dedicated post!!! it’s kinda like a masterpost but for other peoples fics with the links and their @‘s tagged as well :) i’m gonna link this on my actual masterpost too, and i’ll update it kinda like a regular masterpost as well. so here we go!!

be sure to check out everyone on this list and go show them support!! they’re all super cool and talented and write really awesome stuff :)

fics by @mushiewrites

okay. i’ll keep it a stack with you guys. keep it a buck, a buck 50, even. i went through mush’s fic/ficlet lists to pick out the titles of the ones that could be listed and there were, no exaggeration, +20 fics and 12 ficlets… so… for the sake of NOT having a 30-something link long list, i’m gonna link mush’s entire masterposts so you can ALL CHECK THEM OUT YOURSELVES!!! and then put the lists without links so you know which ones to look for for sure!!

fair warning the blocks of text will be huge but….. it’s worth it lmao

-> Mushie’s Big Masterpost

-> Mushie’s Fic Masterpost

-> in masterpost order: One Little Poke, Soft Surprises, Sweet & Sleepy, Late Night Texts, Red, The Short(s) Struggle, Breaking a Bad Habit, Love Letters, Tiny Boy, Big Complaints, Handsy Hyperfixation, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Finding Giggly Gogy, Pillow Talk, Silent Library (i don’t read this one super often but i remember that sapnap is the cutest little thing ever in it), Attitude Adjustment, Sleepy Experiments, George’s Favorite Rib, Rise & Shine, The Gift of Giggles

-> Mushie’s Ficlet Masterpost

-> also in masterpost order: tummy troubles, height vs. strength parts 1 & 2, gogs melt spot, tickled silly, no weaknesses, please not again, raise your arms already (my prompt :D), 5 seconds to escape, you’re usually so tough (also my prompt🥺), sap(nap), tickletober day 1: anticipation

fics by @wishitweresummer

-> George’s Simp

-> Glass House Series - part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5

-> Passenger Princess // Backseat Princess

-> Tickle-Tac-Toe

fics by @cayjno

-> Tell Me!

-> Attentive

fics by @sleepy--anon

-> Tickletober Ficlets - day 1 // day 7

-> Lee!George Week - day 4

fics by @fluffallamaful

-> Some Well-Deserved Giggles

-> An Inconvenient Itch

-> Waking Sleeping Beauty - part 1 // part 2

-> Afternoon Discoveries - part 1 // part 2

fics by @emmadoodlewrites

-> The Melt Spot

-> Looking In Too Deep + other lil demon au thing

#others fics #mushiewrites #wishitweresummer #cayjno #sleepy anon #fluffallamaful #emmadoodlewrites #thank you guys for being cool

14 notes · View notes

bowievanfleet · 2 years

Text

cowboy like me

in which a swindler meets someone that makes her feel something other than contempt for the first time. (based on cowboy like me by taylor swift)

pairing: jake kiszka x reader (feminine pronouns used)

genre: angst, teensy bit of fluff :)

wc: 2.8k

warnings: mentions of sexual acts (non-graphic), icky men, unwanted advances, female badassery, mentions of robbery (not really but technically), little moment of PTSD if you look close enough, lots of pining and denial <3, not rlly proofred el oh el

a/n: my first fic in a while, based on one my fav taylor songs ever :) this idea manifested itself so quickly and i physically couldn't not write it. the writing style is a bit different from my other ones, so let me know if you don't like it! cowboy jake is so close to my heart even though he's really not even a cowboy in this lmao. i hope u guys like this as much as i do <3

takes one to know one

you're a bandit like me

you turn around, scanning the crowd as you press the small of your back against the dark wood of the bar. your eyes flitted from person to person, man to man to be more specific. you could admit to yourself it was a dangerous business, but who else is gonna do it?

you remind yourself of that sentiment every time you set out to do this. you probably regarded yourself a little to highly for a person of this nature, but your friend had justified it to you once as “feminist vigilantism.” and so that's what you came to think of it as.

the only time you really doubted yourself in this were the lonely nights in bed, when your brain roved over everything you’d done in the last 2 years and contemplated every detail.

something you could’ve done better, or differently. or even if you should’ve started doing this in the first place.

but by the next saturday night, those thoughts would be gone with the wind as you seized a hundred or two from the wallet of whatever man that was under you. he would find it missing shortly after you were gone, along with your note, and the satisfaction that came with the thought of the night would drown out all others.

you push your anxiety to the side, and force yourself to think about the end goal. it takes a while to filter one out from the rest, but like every time, he always shows himself. he has to. your eyes settle on his body as he strides over to a table on the far side of the club, and starts talking to one of his friends.

his body language shows pride, the acceptance of a challenge. you would bet every single dollar you had earned from this business that his friend was proposing a bet to him; you could practically hear it ringing in your ears, even though you were too far away to hear the conversation.

whoever gets a chick to blow them first gets 50 bucks.

even though you couldn’t hear the exact conversation, you most definitely could hear the disgusting laugh that comes from him, probably at the mention that his friend bet he couldn’t do it.

you hear his loud remark, “oh i’ll fucking show you,” he challenges with a shit eating grin.

he was the type you would categorize precisely as “trust fund baby.” neat, slicked back hair, perfectly ironed clothes, his body language as if he owned everything in the entire world.

entitled little motherfucker, you thought. your eyes are trained intently on his every move as he stalks across the club, to immediately grind against the first girl he sees.

she’s clearly confused and disgusted, and as she turns away, he possessively grabs her waist. you sit your drink down, seconds away from slipping on your mask of seduction and striding over to him.

but someone beats you to it.

you stop in your tracks, not very used to a plot twist. another man appears from the side, placing a protective hand on the girl’s shoulder and saying something to the man. you see his grip loosen on her waist before it drops completely, and you see his face heat with defeat and embarrassment as he backs off, half-apologetically.

your body relaxes as he goes back to his table, defeated. you guess that he really had his sights on her and didn’t have the will to try again. pathetic. thank god she was apparently taken. but as your eyes return to the girl and the man that intervened, you start to second guess.

he had stopped touching her. like, completely. you’ve been studying body language for a long time, and the fact that he isn’t touching her all over after he clearly saw that man grab her is very unusual especially if he’s her boyfriend.

his face however, is gentle. it isn’t predatory, and he doesn’t look like he’s going to step in and do exactly what the other man was about to do, like you briefly thought.

you were puzzled for the first time in a while. you always have everything thought out, always thinking two steps ahead of the plan.

what is he doing? you think, as you bore his eyes into him, like if you stare at him long enough, his intentions will reveal themselves.

his brows are furrowed as he talks to the girl, his presence warming and comforting, you could feel it all the way from your place at the bar. the girl seems to be reassuring him with a small smile as he puts a gentle hand on her shoulder again, returning her smile before dropping his hand and walking away, disappearing back into the moving bodies of the club.

when you watch the girl go safely back to her friends, you turn back around to face the bar, taking a long pull of your drink as if it’ll make the answer come to you faster, make you think harder.

you furrowed your brows; why did he help her? that was the only obvious answer you could come up with, that he was helping her. he didn’t touch her more than necessary and he didn’t stay longer than needed. he showed concern and then left.

kind of like the opposite of me, your mind countered. but maybe not so much, considering the thought that if he really did do that to help her, your motives may not be so far from his.

“beat you to it, didn’t i?”

him. you knew it was him before you even heard him, for some reason.

you turn your head to the right, feeling him there before you really even took him in. his presence was so strong, but not a bad kind of strong. you couldn’t decipher it. your eyes meet his face, with eyes so brown that you could almost compare them to the dark molasses that sits on the top shelf of your cabinet, reserved for when you make pancakes.

“pardon?” you return, arching a brow.

he gives you a knowing smile and sits himself on the stool next to where you’re standing, and for some reason you're compelled to as well, so you step up onto your barstool, turning your body so it’s completely facing him, the same way he’s facing you.

“i knew you were watching, saw you about to walk over. decided i’d save you some work,” he shrugged.

your mind reeled. you didn’t exactly know how to respond. “thank you?” no, that's too vulnerable. “i could’ve handled it?” no, i don’t wanna be mean. at the end of the day i guess he did help her.

you went back and forth in your mind, before he interrupted your debating with a small, genuine smile. “you don’t have to say anything, i just wanted to come and have some conversation. you seem interesting... respectfully” he says with a small nod of his head.

it seems like a request for your time, and he’s given you no reason to deny him a conversation, so you agree. “okay...” you trail with a small smile, and ask him a question, simply because you feel like he’ll answer truthfully.

“why’d you help her?”

he shrugs, “why wouldn’t i? i guess you could consider it my contribution to society. although i don’t really enjoy being recognized or applauded for it. the only reason i’m telling you is because i can tell that, for lack of better words, we’re in the same line of work,” he raises his brows with another one of his knowing grins.

you gave him a look and decide to be truthful for a moment.

“i’m trying very hard to figure you out.” you say, almost desperately.

to be completely honest, up until this point you were merely humoring him. he may have helped the other girl, but he said it himself; he was just doing his part for society.

you knew he still just wanted someone’s pants to get into, and someone to validate him for his good deeds before he threw them away after the night was done and would never have to worry about them again.

that was what you were. you were the target and you would be perfectly fine with it. you knew how this would end. you had the script revised and edited and perfectly memorized in your mind:

you would end up in his bed.

“god, you’re the most stunning piece of woman i’ve ever seen” he would grunt, as you grind down harshly on his groin. your insides would crawl, the words whispered by a greedy man when he thought his counterpart was enjoying it would forever make you want to crawl inside of your own skin. you would feign pleasure at being praised, letting a dominant chuckle leave your lips. “is that right?” you would whisper, touching your lips to the shell of his ear. you would shuck his pants off, and as he was blinded by the pleasure of your hand, you would use your other to deftly slip his wallet out of his pocket and snatch a couple of hundred dollar bills. my reward, his punishment.

after his frantic climax, while he would be snoring like an arrogant, lazy king on his throne, you would pad to his bathroom, scribble the same note you wrote every time, and slip out of his front door once your dress was back on. you would go back home and scrub your hand until the skin was burning red and raw, and add the money to the jar patiently waiting for you in your nightstand drawer.

you reel back, hit with the realization that that was exactly what had happened last week, and that your body just relived it. but it was still true nonetheless, that was exactly how this would end. just like last saturday and the saturday before that, and just like probably next saturday and the next one until you decided you were done with this bullshit city and moved on to another.

but he seemed to take the script and rip it to shreds.

deep inside your body, you’re sureness dampened with doubt as you searched his eyes. there wasn’t that hunger that you had become accustomed to in every man you encountered. no hunger, no greed. only gentle, rolling seas of molasses.

you were appalled.

you couldn’t figure him out and a part of you was so incredibly drawn to him that you couldn’t make sense of where the curiosity started and where the contempt ended. all of it was blurred, but you could tell that he was different.

he understands your mind whispered, beckoning you to crumble and give in. deep down you knew that there was no danger, this wasn’t just another job.

he was a human, not a monster in a storybook. not like the ones you were always used to.

and the worst part, he could see it all. he could see the dilemma in real time as it happened behind your eyes, and so he makes a decision.

he stands from his barstool as your eyes follow every move he makes. he stands directly in front of you, and extends his hand.

“dance with me.”

it’s not a command, as it sounds. it's a request. he is giving you every opportunity to decline, and he’ll walk away and you’ll never see him again. and so you don’t decline, and decidedly take his hand in yours.

he gives you a beaming smile as a reward, and you vow that this won’t be the only time that you see him smile like that tonight. you’ll make sure of it before the night is over.

he leads you to the dance floor where a relatively slow song is playing. he takes the hand that’s holding yours and sticks it out a bit, as he takes your other hand and places it on his shoulder. you let him. he places his hand on your side, and starts to shuffle his feet.

“i can tell you're conflicted,” he says, softly.

“quite.”

“care to help me understand?” he requests, and there’s a light in his eyes that makes you curious all over again. you cave, and answer somewhat honestly.

“you’re the first man i’ve met that doesn’t seem...” “vile? disgusting? self-centered?” he finishes, and you give him a sad smile. “i suppose.”

“but you still don’t seem afraid.” he challenges.

“i can’t be. that ruins the whole point of what i do,” you answer.

he seems intrigued, but a part of you can tell that he already knows the answer to what he’s about to ask.

“if i may ask, what exactly do you do? i’d like to see if my theory about us being similar is correct.”

you arch a brow. “if i tell you, you can’t go snitching on me.” you counter. he gives a mischievous grin at that, and takes this hand off your hip momentarily to stick out his pinkie. “pinkie swear i won’t,” he says with a seriousness that makes you laugh slightly. you lift your hand from his shoulder and hook your pinkie onto his, and when you pull away, you can’t help but notice that your whole hand is tingling.

you return it to his shoulder and his to your hip, as you start to explain.

“i guess you could say i’m a thief of sorts.” you start. “they steal something from me, i steal from them. my dignity for an hour, their money and their confidence for a couple of days.”

“you’re a robber?” he insinuates, eyebrows raised.

you give a mischievous smirk. “if you want to look at it that way.”

“huh, maybe we are different. i don’t very frequently participate in illegal actions,” he teases. you shrug, “they’re too high off their arrogance and pride to even remember what i look like.”

he snorts, “i quite like your philosophy.”

you stare at him, why were you telling him this?

“well, what do you do?”

he smiles, “not anything near as interesting. just what you saw earlier, i play the role of concerned boyfriend for a few minutes, they get home safe. unfortunately, no robbery involved.” you start to lean into him more, and you think of something your mother told you when you were very little, curious about everything and heart on your sleeve. you couldn’t understand how you would just “know” when the right person came into your life.

“everyone says that you just know, but how? how will i know?”

her answer was simple:

“you will know, because spirit knows spirit.”

and here, now, you felt your spirit latch onto his. you drown in his molasses eyes and don't do anything to stop it. you card your hand through his hair, and show no self-restraint, his hand shifts lower on your hip, and he doesn’t seem to be appalled by any part of you.

you raise your mouth to his. and you don’t care. you move your lips against his, and you feel. you feel everything you’ve never felt. you feel every ounce of his spirit pour into yours, greeting each other with a familiar smile.

spirit knows spirit

he pulls away, and you don’t regret. you don’t regret anything that brought you to this moment, and you realize with a jolt that you very might well do it all over again if it promised this outcome every time.

he smiles that smile again, and you drown.

“jake.” he whispers, his forehead against yours.

“y/n.”

-----

now you hang from my lips

like the gardens of babylon

with your boots beneath my bed

forever is the sweetest con

all in all, you did end up in bed with him. but, your bed. a welcome change.

fully clothed, facing each other on your sides, hands on skin and bodies so close that almost no air could move between you. your hands are stroking his hair as you exchange words and stories, pasts and motives.

“i’ll admit, the way you go about things scares me a little. it’s too risque for my taste.” he confesses, and you smile and shrug. “i guess i’ve felt like it was what i had to do.”

you pause, contemplate. “maybe i don’t have a need for it anymore though.”

he raises a brow, “oh?” his hand moves to your jaw, trailing fingertips.

“you lose your interest for vengeance when you find something that makes you forget about it.”

it's a simple sentence, but the meaning courses through him. he smiles and kisses you for the hundredth time that night, and you both take comfort in knowing it’s far from the last. it's soft and yearning. it's a promise, a promise of healing and trying.

“i want you to see. i want you to trust that not everyone is out to get you.” he whispers, suddenly serious.

you frown, “i think that might take a long while,” you answer honestly, giving him all the room he needs to back out.

“i don’t mind. you’re a cowboy like me”

taglist (i love you guys endlessly!!) @dakotadovato @doodle417 @its-a-metaphor-barnes @weightofdreams-gvf @gretavanbitches @iheartkiszkas

#jake kiszka fanfic #greta van fleet fanfic #jake kiszka x reader #jake gvf #jake kiszka #greta fan fleet fanfic #greta van fic #greta van fleet oneshots #gvf #gvf fanfic #gvf one shot #gvf imagine #gvf headcannons #gvf fanfiction #gvf x reader

92 notes · View notes

southparkdoodlesandstuff · 10 months

Text

Notes on SP eps

SP eps I forgot to take notes on the first 3 I do it later lmao fell free to use these stamps for edits or anything

S4. ep16 6:11 Cartman s l i d e s s4 ep17 1:55 Ike and Kyle wholesome s4 ep17 8:03 Mr.Hanky and his wife need to s4 ep17 16:07 KYLE EHAT THE HECK???? s5 ep1 17:54 Uncle Jimbo is a homo (WHAT s5 ep4 11:38 DON'T THINK I DON'T SEE YA s5 ep6 14:39 "Sit down Kyle" Can't ">:("

s5 ep7 00:30 "Scream for me btch" "AAAA" s5 ep7 15:12 "We gotta get rid of the gorls"

s5 ep8 21:01 Highly streaches s5 ep9 14:52 "We're speaking English rn does that make sense???" s5 ep9 21:58 "?!??!?!?" (Idk tbh s5 ep10 12:50 *Background shinanigans the boys and res to town laughing lmao) + Sometime later in ep Style moment lol s5 ep12 I just really like Tolkien's voice s5 ep13 21:00 FCK HIM UP KYLE! (Also dude Kenny really is cared for) s5 ep14 (Entire ep) Butters dude. That is messed uuuupp. s6 ep2 17:00 A SIMPLE LIL MOTAGGGE s6 ep3 4:30 "Star trek dude has an axe in bg) STAN KYLE AND CARTMAN I WILL PUNCH YOU STOP GASLIGHTING MY SON + 16:02 I love robbary and fraud I'm a shoplisting

s6 ep4 3:30 THE WAY THEY ROLL 3:58 STAN BE COMMITING CRIMES 4:30 "W h a t??" Bebe has some other ideas 6:32 THEY GOT CAUGHT 10:47 Kyle take off your hat what the hell 15:25 "Don't have a dad Mike not gonna work" 16:00 FIghting in background 16:40 Stanley :((( Has sores Stan is one big pussy

s6 ep5 6:55 STAN's NOSE PINCH LMAO I low-key really like this ep the subplot of Cheif tryna contorl his TV is gold lmao 14:13 They're excited 18:40 "We'll kill butter's later!" 20:05 "WHOOOO YEAHHHHH!!!"

s6 ep6 5:30 REALITY TV (reanimated THIS) 9:19 are they breaking the 4th wall???

s6 ep7 IDK WHEN BUT TWEEK SINGS HMMER TIME

s6 ep8 4:20 The boys chillin (Where's Ken?) 5:15 Tweek: "I'M A WHAT?!" 7:08 Craig: Walks away 7:42 Kyle: "Get the **** of here." Pure disgust

s6 ep9 4:20 Kyle is confusion It looks really funky witht the art style 14:35 SP creators :DDD 16:28 TWEEK HAS A MISSUL LAUNCHER

s6 ep10 4:50 WHA ape grunts 5:20 I feel you Wendy 7:17 Girls no :( 10:04 "Bebe you're still cool" 13:15 "HAOHAOHA" 16:00 Jeez fanon bebe is insanely inaccurate 17:25 Cute Parent Marshes moment 19:00 HOW WENDY 21:04 THE BOYS ARE HUGGINH

s6 ep11 6:34 Craig deffo got them tall genes 8:58 "I didn't mean to! (be abducted)" 11:40 "Im nugh dune wiuth mgh pizza…" 19:57 "Oh god our parents are so stupid dude." + cute moments 21:20 HELP STAN-

S6 ep12 1:45 "Mrky" Ok Current realization "KENNY!" 8:11 "Maybe you got brain cancer" "YOU THINK!?" "Cartman don't get brain cancer." 20:11 I'm scared for new Randy

s6 ep13 11:59 "I'm not playing anymore." s6 ep15 7:40 DAMN STAN. 9:25 LET KENNY WATCH FATSO 11:00 Psychic Stan ("No I'm not!") 13:47 Stan pinching his nose 16:30 Stan you're still in the school why are you slaming the door 17:53 Kyle: :o

s6 ep16 4:10 Stan nose pinch again :D 7:10 Stutters duo on an adventure (entire ep) 8:40 "They're lying" 11:40 "how many parents have you enacted revenge on??" 12:21 "18,000$" - "How bout 5 bucks." 13:18 this entire scene is geuninlly interesting to see knowing Eric's character It showcases his COMPLEXITY WHEN DEALING WITH PEOPLE 15:55 POP OFF STAN 16:30 Cartman can speak spanish?? Dude he's dedicated. 17:50 Stan is smart

s6 ep17 (Throughout the ep Jimmy sings <3) 6:16 TWEEK YOU'RE NOT CRAZY 11:50 Kyle and Cartman interaction lmao 14:21 the way Jesus specifies "Eric" Cartman lmao 14:30 JESUS HAS A GUN 15:40 I'm packing 17:40 "Dude this is pretty fcked up." 19:22 Idk who these kids are they're in a different style and its a little odd. 21:10 NVM THIS IS THE SAME 21:20 KENNY! KENNY'S BACK! DUDE WHERE THE HEEL WERE YOU????

S7 ep1 0:50 IKE IS NOT A WEPON KYLE Cartman??? Dude you good?????? I HATE HOW CALLED OUT I FEEL BY THE SCIENCTIST IN THIS EP HE THINKS EXACTLY LIKE ME There is a scene somewhere where Kenny pulls his Parka "Oh shit did we do that??" 20:00 KENNY NO

s7 ep2 1:30 "Oh I'm a dork huh :(" 2:45 Stan and Kyle dealing with Cartman's bs 7:45 Epic scene with Jimmy and Timmy 12:10 An attempt was made to sit 14:40 "Holy guacomole!" 23:30 "Me too-"

s7 ep3 3:50 "Lets go Kyle!" 11:27 "We're not Killing kyle" "Mrph!"[Yeah!] 14:40 "Whoa-o-ok thank you." 16:15 "A present from jesus himself!" Looks up 16:18 TButters? 18:59 Roblox coil sound

s7 ep4 3:34 "SHUT UP AND STUDY." 6:30 Why is he puttign so mcuh effort into the walk 7:47 Uhhh pop off Gerald?? 7:57 STAN NOSE PINCH 8:25 Kenny fucking leaves 13:55 Randy has talent 21:22 Kyle nose pich + "I- I don't know"

s7 ep5 (didn'r take anything ig"

s7 ep6 2:12 "Why won't she let me eat the piee." 3:40 Kenny is an artist (for twitter.) 4:13 WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS CONCLUSION 4:26 TUCKER??? CRAIG'S LONG LOST SIBLING? 5:05 Cartman has no right to be this detailed for a fatass 5:15 Kenny :((( 7:17 Sign languages Kyle: "What?????" 8:34 "hehehe thats gay" "hehehe we're gay" 9:16 "GRRRRR!" 10:27 The girl is so cute though 17:48 WDYM THE MCCORMICKS??? 18:20 "Kenny it doesn't go pekwwww it goes BANG BANG BANG"

s7 ep7 2:44 "26,000 DOLLARS?!?!" 5:30 CHEF!! 5:45 "We've had such great times here" CHAOS WHEN??? 6:51 Kennys cute here 9:17 Sharon and Randy moment 12:57 THOMAS TUCKER'S HEIGHT HELP

s7 ep8 00:55 KENNNYYY'S DESIGN 1:20 We're you guys waiting for the bus how tf are your switching to machovers 1:45 3:55 "OH MY GOD WHERE IS MY HOMEWORK I AM FREAKING OUU~U~UT!!" 4:45 YES CHEF 5:15 Well. Uh. I guess dreams come true. 11:12 KYLE WHERE TF DID YOU KEEP THAT 12:22 why is Liane there she's a whor-

s7 ep9 1:00 The kid's music tastes 2:10 Cartman being an ENTJ 2:54 Tolkien looked really epic 4:40 KYLE WHAT DID YOU DO? "I DON'T KNOW D:'" 8:45 "Why would I be looking way over there??" 10:30 Cartman tugging at Kyle's hat 16:56 Uh- 21:00 HELL YEAH TOLKIEN BEAT HIS ASS 21:25 YES BUTTERS YESSSS

s7 ep10 6:54 "GARALD WHERE ARE THE BOYS??" 8:00 SWEEP THE KIDS 9:26 HELP THE LINE MOVING LIKE A WORM 11:04 "I love youh guys, except for you kyel" 11:15 KENNY HOODIE PULL 13:00 Idk i just love this scene with all the kids :DD 18:17 Stan's Gang devising a plan

s7 ep11 CASA BONITA 1:30 "I have never been a dck to you!" 10:32 CARTAMAN? 11:20 I swear to- 12:00 cartman's little dancin 12:30 Butters singin 14:00 this entire scene with Eric. 17:00 why is Kenny wearing a tuxido over his parka. 19:31 ERIC SPEEDRUN GO

13 notes · View notes

elizaviento · 1 year

Text

Green on the Vine — Strawberry Wine (Part 4 of ?)

(Stardew Valley — Shane/Female Farmer/OC) Note: My working draft for this fic is called "Stardew Trash" in Google docs. Just thought y'all would like to know. Lmao.

This chapter is rated SFW — 3096 words.

(FYI: Additional chapters of Green on the Vine — Strawberry Wine can be found in the Stardew Valley Fic Masterpost link in my blog description. Or, you can click the #green on the vine strawberry wine tag in this post, within my blog, to access all additional chapters.)

*****

Occupying himself with the hens was the best decision Shane could have made that day. Their soft clucks, the silken slide of their feathers through his fingers, the graceful bobs of their heads as they pecked the dirt at his feet provided the perfect distraction from the thirst that nudged the back of his throat. Cravings were always a bitch to deal with, even under the best of circumstances, but the heightened stress level encapsulating the farm like a dome amped his desire to sink into the familiar sense-numbing void tenfold.

Distant mumblings from the doctor and the farmer caught Shane’s attention as he fetched hay from the nearby silo. More than once, he wished he could eavesdrop, but they were far enough away that the soft rustling of maple leaves muffled their words until they resembled a mere hum among the ambient babble of nature. Instead, he went about his work, attempting to drown out the intrusive thoughts of what they could be discussing in his absence. Not that it mattered. The farmer was well-liked among nearly everyone in Pelican Town. Her world didn’t revolve around Shane and his fragile notions that she would wake up one day and realize she’d wasted her time befriending him. The town doctor came to her house to tend to her wounds. He fixed what was broken in a way Shane could never compete with. Patching a hole in a weathered fence and laying down some hay seemed incredibly trite in comparison.

“Fuck, I need a drink,” he grumbled while gently nudging a round hen that had decided to roost on his foot. Calculations filtered through his mind, as they did when he tried to justify cutting into the time he spent with Jas, taking shortcuts on the ranch chores, or ducking out early from his shift on the days Morris left early.

Can I get away with it? Can I spend another 50 bucks on beer this week? Can I sleep 30 more minutes to nurse this hangover? Can I avoid talking to anyone until my head stops pounding?

Granted, these calculations had become less and less arduous and frequent since the last black-out drunken stupor had forced him to look himself in the eye and decide, once and for all, if he would allow it to consume him entirely. He had been close. So close , so many times. But once the farmer had found him face down on the Cindersap lake dock at 2 am, vomiting over the side, a sensation of shame gripped him so tightly that he felt he might be crushed by the weight of it. She’d dragged him home – God only knew how – and sat by his bedside with a pitcher of water and a waste basket until he groaned back to life the following morning. The looks of pity and disappointment from Marnie he could handle. Shane had grown used to them and learned to shrug them off with ease. But the fear that swam in Kristen’s eyes and the subsequent relief when she realized he hadn’t straight up died of alcohol poisoning stabbed him like a molten hot poker between the ribs. Shame. Utter, absolute, disgusting shame.

Had he cut back on drinking for her ? Had he agreed to professional intervention to never witness that fear contorting her freckled face and suffer that suffocating shame ever again? Shane tried to pretend the answer to those questions was no. Sometimes he almost believed it.

His cargo pocket began to sing for the dozenth time that morning. The number on the screen wasn’t in his contacts, but he knew exactly who it was by now, having received 3 voicemail messages from the town’s Mayor.

“Shane, it’s Lewis. How’s Krissy? Did you and Harvey get there alright? Call me back.”

“Shane, it’s Lewis again. I texted Harvey, but he hasn’t replied.”

“Shane – Lewis. I know I’m not your favorite person in the world, but I think we can both agree that we care about Krissy. Just tell me if she’s okay.”

Finally fed up, Shane canceled the call and tapped out a text, his fingers jabbing at the screen aggressively – She’s fine, Lewis. Stop calling me . – before he powered down the device altogether and made a mental note to talk to Marnie about not sharing his cell phone number with anyone else in town. Shane would never understand what Marnie saw in that man, but he also knew that Kriss regarded Lewis like a second grandfather, having spent most of her childhood summers on this farm. She had history in Pelican Town, albeit a bit ancient, but enough that dormant roots sprouted instantly and bloomed the moment the old timers recognized her shining face as that of Homer Wynand’s rambunctious granddaughter. It had taken less time than he’d wagered for her to forge multiple friendships among the younger town’s people, but he could tell right away that she wouldn’t have trouble fitting in, much to his annoyance.

Would he ever admit out loud to secretly hoping for another outcast? Absolutely not. Would he have shunned her, regardless? Of course. But, it was made so much easier to treat her like shit in the beginning, believing she was just like every other slack jaw in this podunk town who would shun him right back. He was glad when she eventually proved him wrong.

After he’d wasted as much time as he could cleaning up the coop, he found the farmer sitting cross-legged in front of a makeshift grave near the pond. He hadn’t expected to find her there, but he wasn’t surprised. She reminded him of Marnie in how she was attached to her animals. Maybe even of himself…

Shane had made up his mind about helping Kristen around the farm before she emerged from the bathroom, smelling of sweet mint. The humidity trailing after her only amplified the aroma of her shampoo or soap; he wasn’t sure which. All he did know was that it filled him with an odd sense of comfort. It was familiar . It was her.

He’d been prepared for her to protest, which was precisely why he didn’t give her the opportunity. The ridiculously large bandage wrapped around her right hand and the noises of frustration as she struggled through the simple tasks of cleaning herself up and getting dressed were enough to ignite his slumbering sense of duty. The odd fluttering he felt in his chest when he recalled the myriad of ways she’d helped him over the past 2 years intensified, especially when his thoughts lingered on the obvious distractions she provided for him when the urge to drink himself to death reared its ugly head.

“Hey, let’s play that new first-person shooter you got. Loser orders a pizza!”

“Wanna take a walk on the beach? I bet Jas would like to go for a swim.”

“I have a fresh batch of hatchlings! Come over and see. They’re so fucking cute!”

Yes, obvious distractions. But effective. Without realizing, the farmer had helped the deadbeat, alcoholic stock boy more than anyone ever had. And now, he owed her.

❦❧🍓❦❧

Shane cursed and cracked one bloodshot eye when the alarm screeched in his ear, pulling him from a dream. Even before he stumbled out of bed to slam his hand on the snooze button, it had melted from his memory like one of Jas’ favorite ice cream bars on a sunny summer day. But the feeling lingered. Though sleep deprived — having arrived home from Joja at just past midnight — he felt oddly at peace, even at 4:30 am.

Four-fucking-thirty, Christ… he thought, switching on his bedside lamp. He couldn’t remember a time he’d willingly gotten up this early. Going to bed this late? Sure. But that was a completely different circumstance.

He dressed quickly in his usual attire, shoving his uniform in a backpack and slinging it over one shoulder as he stepped from his bedroom and entered the darkened kitchen.

“Shhh…I’m in here. Don’t wake Jas,” Marnie said from somewhere in the blackness. His eyes hadn’t fully adjusted, and Shane nearly jumped out of his knock-off Crocs, startled.

“Jesus, Marnie!” he whispered aggressively, flipping on the overhead light. Marnie sat in her bathrobe at the kitchen table, cradling a mug of something steamy. “Why are you up so early?”

“Lewis told me you’d be going to Krissy’s farm this morning, so I thought I’d make you some coffee. It’s fresh in the pot. I can cook something, too, if you’re hungry.”

Lewis. Fucking Lewis…

“How the hell —” he began before cutting himself short. He should have known this would happen. Hot gossip traveled fast in tiny towns. “Kriss told him and he told you?”

“Yes,” she confirmed, rising from her chair to fetch another mug from the cupboard. “Is that a problem?”

“No.”

And it really wasn’t. It wasn’t like Shane was doing something scandalous that needed to be kept hidden. If gossip was going to spread, he supposed it was better than the usual trash people thought about him. Still, the sense of privacy he tried to preserve from most of the inhabitants of Pelican Town bristled at the idea that everyone probably knew what he’d be up to, innocent or otherwise.

“It’s a kind thing you’re doing, Shane. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.”

Marnie’s tone softened as it did when she was proud of him, which was rare. His cheeks prickled with heat, and he averted his eyes, suddenly interested in a hairline crack in one of the porcelain tiles near his feet.

“I’m not hungry,” he replied, changing the subject as he took the mug from her outstretched hand. The aroma cut through the remaining fog lingering in his brain, and he took a large sip, unconcerned with the resulting scald to his tongue.

“Good. I’m going back to bed,” Marnie joked. “Turn off the light when you leave.”

For the first time, probably ever, the chirping of birds before dawn didn’t agitate him. In fact, they were a welcome soundtrack for his hike toward the farm, granting him a reprieve from some of the more intrusive thoughts that always seemed to plague him. Booze still remained the most effective dampener, which frustrated him, but he’d take what he could get. The air also hadn’t become oppressively hot just yet, and he felt surprisingly light on his feet.

The trek from the ranch to Kristen’s farmhouse took approximately 15 minutes. He’d walked the trail so many times that he had it committed to memory and was on her front porch at 5 am on the dot.

“What are you doing here?” the farmer groaned when she finally answered the door. He knocked loudly and insistently, knowing she’d still be dead to the world. “I don’t get up until 6, ya know?”

“Hey, that’s fucking great for you —,” he answered, plopping his backpack on the rocking chair next to the front door, “— but I gotta be at work at 8, and it takes 45 minutes to walk there from here.”

Kristen scrubbed at her eyes with her good hand, the other hanging limply at her side. Shane idly wondered if she was in much pain before his thoughts pivoted to how cute she looked with her curly hair so wild and unkempt from sleep. He quickly shut that one up, however, by making fun of her instead.

“You look like you stuck your finger in a light socket.”

She laughed hoarsely, lightly kicking his green foam shoe.

“Says the only person left on the planet who wears Crocs,” she retorted, opening the door wider to let him inside. “You want coffee? I need to take painkillers now, or I might start weeping like a baby soon.”

“Nah.” So, she was in pain. That knowledge distressed him, but there was nothing he could do other than what he was here for. “I’m gonna get started now. I’ll be in the coop.”

He worked in silence, as usual. At Joja, his co-worker Sam always wore headphones, the music blasting from them so loud that Shane wondered how he hadn’t gone completely deaf. It wasn’t that he preferred the silence. Rather, all of his favorite songs were tied to memories that were too tender to prod at just yet. Finding new music seemed just as daunting, and Shane realized he was probably getting old.

35 isn’t old, is it?

It is for you, Shaney boy. It’s old as fuck. You’re out of shape, an addict, stuck in a dead-end job, and a shitty god-father. You may as well be 60.

It wasn’t Shane’s voice that answered in his head, echoing between his ears like a specter. It was familiar, teasing, heart-achingly distant. And Shane refused to entertain it. The owner of that voice wouldn’t have spoken to Shane in such a spiteful manner had it been right in front of him. The owner of that voice wouldn’t speak at all. Death tends to render a person speechless, after all.

Time slipped away as he continued to work, spending a significant amount of it stroking each hen that crossed his path. He found that even though he’d opened the coop door for them to graze, several remained inside, squabbling for attention.

“Kriss spoils you, huh?” he asked as he scratched the short feathers on their tiny heads. “She better.”

Checking his watch, Shane sighed. Rolling out of bed before the sun wasn’t exactly his favorite thing, but he’d gladly do it every day if it meant this was his actual job. Instead, he’d make the long walk to town and clock in at the soul-sucking pit of hell that spit out his meager bi-weekly paychecks from a talking Pez dispenser that called itself Morris.

Not for the first time, Shane found himself wondering how Kristen survived the corporate lake of fire. She’d spoken about it a handful of times but preferred not to linger, changing the subject at every available opportunity. Shane never pressed. He knew how frustrating it was when people couldn’t mind their own business, even if curiosity gnawed at the base of his brain. He knew she’d been an attorney on Joja’s payroll, but the specifics were vague. Shane wasn’t sure he’d understand them anyway if he were honest, so he let it be. Picturing the farmer as anything but kind of boggled his mind anyway. Her earthy essence seemed ingrained into every fabric of her being, utterly content with the life she’d built far away from exhaust fumes, blaring horns, and tiny, overpriced apartments. She seemed happy.

“Hey, are you hungry?”

Her voice sliced through the silence so suddenly that Shane flinched, whipping his head around to find Kristen leaning against the coop door, a bucket of strawberries gripped in her good hand.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked, motioning toward the bucket filled to the brim with ripe red fruit.

“Don’t try to father me, Shane. I still have one good hand, and the strawberries in the greenhouse were past harvest. If they weren’t picked today, they’d rot.”

“I’m telling Harvey,” he lied, striding toward her to snatch the bucket. It was heavy .

“You do that, and I’ll tell Marnie you let Jas watch the Blair Witch Project.”

“You watched it with us!” he protested. A hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, giving him away. Nevertheless, his brow pinched, imagining Kristen picking strawberries off hundreds of vines with only one hand. “I would have harvested the strawberries.”

“You have to leave soon.”

“I can always come back, Kriss,” he said, scrubbing his free hand at the back of his neck. His opposite arm was beginning to ache with the weight of the bucket, and he wondered how she seemed to handle it so effortlessly. “I was planning to do that anyway. After my shift. Just… don’t fuck yourself up more than you already have.”

“Okay…” Her eyes darted around the coop, avoiding Shane’s entirely, and her stance became rigid as she crossed her arms, shifting from foot to foot. He recognized these mannerisms — stubbornness waging war with logic.

He followed her back to the farmhouse in silence, unsure of what else to say. He knew deep down that she would continue to try and complete her chores, incapacitation be damned, but he would be there to haunt her every step of the way.

Once inside, Shane emptied the bucket into her kitchen sink and washed the berries as best he could while she tossed something into the microwave. Several minutes later, he was finished and she shoved a soggy sausage sandwich warped in a paper towel toward his face.

“I’m… bad at this,” she said, providing no further context until Shane blinked at her, confused. “I don’t like asking for help. It makes me feel weak, and feeling weak makes me feel inadequate.” Shane already knew this. The pair had more in common than he sometimes liked to admit. “But, I appreciate it. I really do. Thank you.”

Again, she avoided eye contact with him, nervously fidgeting with a strand of curly hair. It was so endearing that Shane had to take a step back, nibbling on the sandwich until his brain could come up with an adequate response. A response that wouldn’t make him sound like a doe-eyed sap.

“It’s nothing. I owe you anyway.”

He braced himself for another protest. The farmer had told him countless times before that her friendship wasn’t transactional. No strings. No expectations. Nothing was owed because nothing was due. Instead, she smiled and did something that transferred her anxious energy straight from her body into his. She hugged him.

Shane’s brain seized up like a wrench had been thrown into the cogs, screeching everything to an abrupt halt. It wasn’t the first time he’d been hugged by the farmer, but his reaction was always the same. His arms hung limply at his sides, and he held his breath, unable to move and reciprocate. Damn it, why couldn’t he just —

She released him a couple of seconds later, the smile finally reaching her eyes. She never seemed phased that Shane couldn’t bring himself to hug her back, and he was glad she never acknowledged it. She truly expected nothing from him other than what he was willing to give freely.

“I get off at 5 so I’ll be back at around 6,” he said, moving toward the door. Once outside, he retrieved his backpack, deciding he’d get changed in the Joja Mart employee locker room instead. For now, he needed to clear his head.

#stardew valley #stardew valley shane #sdv shane #sdv shane x farmer #fanfiction #green on the vine strawberry wine

24 notes · View notes