I feel like I can write pretty good dialogue between characters, and come up with great plots. But my writing lacks depth and character growth because I struggle with writing descriptive internal dialogue. I feel like this prevents my story from moving forward, even though I have a planned plot and character arcs. Do you have any suggestions for exercising my skills in writing internal dialogue?

Writing Internal Dialogue Monologue

Monologue vs Dialogue - First, I think the labeling is important here.

Dialogue = a conversation between two or more people Monologue = one person talking

Most internal thought is going to be monologue... a person's inner voice processing thoughts and observations... rather than a conversation between a person's inner voice and their opposing inner voice.

When you think of it as "internal monologue" instead, it's sometimes easier to understand what types of things belong there.

Not Everyone Has an Inner Voice - Internal monologue can be tricky for some people to write because not everyone has an inner voice. Some people get mental images instead of an inner voice. Luckily, internal voices aren't hard to understand even if you don't have one yourself.

What Does an Inner Voice Do? - Our inner voices are an ongoing, often subconscious, mental commentary there to help us focus, process, and organize our thoughts and feelings related to our experiences. Internal monologue can include observations about the people and places around us, self-reflection, self-criticism, self-praise, self-motivation, planning/strategizing, processing feelings, recalling memories, and daydreaming.

What Does Internal Dialogue Do? - Internal dialogue usually happens when a character has a mental debate with themselves, such as when they're trying to solve a problem, make a decision, or consider more than one perspective.

What Inner Voice and Internal Dialogue REALLY Do - Inner voice and internal dialogue are both used to convey the character's thoughts to the reader. In third-person, the narrator will do the bulk of the expository work--things like describing people and places, relaying character observations, etc., but character thoughts can be added in italics to give the reader a glimpse inside the character's mind.

The house was dappled with shadows and golden light from the setting sun. It was beautiful and haunting, and it was home. Or it will be, as soon as I move my stuff in...

Alternatively, you can skip the italics and leave it to the narrator to tell the reader what the character is thinking...

The house was dappled with shadows and golden light from the setting sun. It was beautiful and haunting, and it was home. Or it would be, as soon as she moved her stuff in.

In first-person, the POV character is doing all the work... describing people and places, relaying observations, processing thoughts and feelings, recalling memories and having flashbacks... anything that happens inside the character's heart and mind.

The house is dappled with shadows and golden light from the setting sun. It is beautiful and haunting, and it is home... or it will be, as soon as I move my stuff in. My heart fluttered with the joy of possibility, and I aimed a hopeful smile toward the house before climbing back into my car and starting down the driveway. In the fading light, the surrounding woods no longer feel enchanting. I drive a little faster to escape the long shadows and reaching branches.

Don't Overthink It - Too often, the thing that stumps writers about writing inner monologue is feeling like, "I don't sound like this in my head. I wouldn't walk into a room and mentally describe it to myself." And that's fair, because even most people who do have internal monologue don't exactly do that. But remember: you're writing a story. Unlike other mediums, you can't rely on visuals to show the reader what a character is seeing or what a character is thinking about. The only method available to you is to use words to describe those things. Again, in third-person you can rely on the narrator to do the bulk of it, so it doesn't feel as awkward. But in first-person, the POV character IS the narrator, so if you want the reader to know what the room looks like, your primary choice is to have the character mentally describe it to themselves. You can also do a little bit of showing... for example, instead of noting that there's a red velvet couch, they could sit on a red velvet couch, which shows the reader it's there. But, again, mostly they'll mentally describe things to themselves, and as weird as it may feel, it's a necessary part of writing fiction.

I hope this gives you some ideas about how you can use internal monologue (and internal dialogue) to explore your character's thoughts, feelings, observations, problems, etc. to go deeper into who they are, what they want, and what they need.

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So I played through some more dbh last night and woke up thinking, God, there is a good reason Markus and Kara, and their respective companions never got as popular as Connor and Hank. Literally The Bridge is surrounded by the most *do everything for absolutely no reason* chapters, and there's no comparison.

First the Kara chapter wastes your time, she barely gets any small talk in with Luther, then the car breaks down, then you're just doing tiny tasks, doing a shitty sum up of her story so far when Alice asks you to make one up- they could have done something interesting with that story but they chose not to, literally anything specific anything that would function as a parallel to their journey would have actually had some value. Then you barely start a conversation with Luther, where are you maybe get a hint of his personality before we're back to just talking about the plot and Alice, but then it's over again and you meet the Jerries and you learn almost nothing about them.

It is a chapter where you do nothing interesting, and you learn almost nothing about the main characters, for a downtime chapter, I expect character development and get barely a sneeze of it. There is so much room and so much time for you to really push and question your main characters but it just doesn't get used.

Honestly I think the protagonists all could have probably really benefited from the audience getting to hear their internal monologues if they weren't actually going to talk to their companion characters, but even that would just be a substitute for decent writing.

Either way, after that, we come back to Connor and Hank, who do almost no tasks in this chapter, *but spend the entire time TALKING.* They talk to each other in a constant volley back and forth for the entire length of the chapter and it's probably one of the best chapters in the game, it's certainly one of the most important in their story. You spend the entire bridge scene learning more about Hank and Connor's inner worlds, and how they think, and how they feel, you spend the whole chapter learning so much about their perspectives, this chapter is all about asking the hard questions about both of their individual characters, and the tension is high, it's a straightforward chapter to play, and it really fucking feels like your choices matter here, there will be immediate consequences, not just walking through your environment trying to find the right answer, or being dragged through an interaction. It's just plain good.

And then Markus infiltrates the Stratford Tower, and you get the most boring and useless and frustrating chapter in the game that doesn't seem to serve any purpose beyond looking cool. If Kara's last chapter was only to gain sympathy and create some soft and fuzzy feelings, this chapter is only about looking cinematic. This is probably my least favorite chapter in the game, honestly I've just gotten lost on that yellow ass office floor building too many times, even though I'm very familiar with the game now I still managed to get lost again last night.

I will admit that eventually it does become an opportunity to decide between pacifism and violence but that seems to be the only real development for Markus, and it wouldn't have been hard to make that kind of opportunity in another setting. Because we get next to nothing watching him get past the front desk, or from walking around that floor, just some outfit changes and pretending to be a machine and a little more Android hate in the background, Markus is almost completely silent yet again, there is almost no talking with North once she appears. We actually get more about North's personality here than Markus', she just feels like she has more lines somehow, because sometimes she just talks without it being connected to the plot and Markus never does.

This bit is more speculative, but my fiance and I were going off last night about whyyyy did they have to break into the tower? We're never given any reason for what the steps are and why they are important, just usually pretty important in these mission impossible type scenes, they're usually explaining in a voice-over why they are taking the steps that they are taking. But we get no explanation for why he needs to go to the 47th floor or whatever, No explanation for why he needs to change into a maintenance Android uniform, why North was in the stairwell, how Josh and Simon got in, it's all just handwaved, and whyyyyyy they couldn't have just?? Made a recording and then hacked the station's broadcast remotely and basically just posted the speech? I don't know, it's just a particularly frustrating chapter to play, personally, but it isn't strong.

Either way, you've got two chapters with next to no character development, that just have a lot of empty space and time where the characters could have been talking or could have been doing something else, but didn't because the vibes were more important, sandwiching a simple scene with ten pounds of character development and it just feels weird. And once I noticed it, it just made the Kara and Markus chapters look incredibly weak and poorly written... And conversely, make the Connor and Hank chapter look much, much stronger in comparison.

It's like Detroit become human almost needs it's own type of Bechdel Test, just to show how much they fail Markus and Kara. "Do they talk about something that isn't the plot?"

"Do Kara and Luther talk about something that isn't Alice or getting to Canada?" "Does Markus talk about anything besides his speech for this chapter?" "Does Alice talk at all beyond basic communication with Kara?" "Does Markus or his buddies talk about anything that's not the revolution or just Markus himself?"

... They don't pass a lot.

It's just hard to take these characters above simply *likeable* when they just, don't, ever, talk. There's little to no development for Markus or Kara, and because they've just become deviants, there's hardly any character establishment in the first place, they barely even get the chance to just be flat, because if they don't really know who they are, we don't really know who they are.

Connor and Hank's friendship is more functionally the main plot, more so than the deviant investigation, and for Markus and the team, and Kara with Alice, that's simply just not the case, there is hardly any relationship, they're just in the same boat. This is why Connor got astronomically more popular, and why he and Hank have the staying power that they do.

Markus and Kara just don't ever talk, and Connor does. And I'm fucking mad about it. The amount of time that was just wasted in their stories, I could probably take a damn stopwatch to all the moments where there could have been a little something-something, and nothing was put there. It's not to say Connor doesn't get some quiet moments too but he always gets the chance to make up for it.

Even at the beginning of the Stratford Tower chapter, I noticed that they could have had Simon and North talking about something maybe unrelated when Markus walks up, but there's nothing, only silence until Markus comes in with a plan. And of course we know about every time Luther tries to bring up the fact that Alice is an android, only to be shut down and walked away from. It fucking kills me how much time Mark is has the focus of the camera but it's only so he could look cool for a minute, and share no thoughts of his own, none of his new feelings, everything is only implied and then followed by the action where he is only allowed to be the leader of the revolution and never just Markus. There's a tragedy in that, but they could have driven it home harder by *pointing that out.*

hate myself because i should have loved midnight mass i love a pathetic priest i love religion twisted into horror i love a man of god on his knees praying but no one’s listening i love the corrupting power of religion but i just don’t like midnight mass 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i needed to express a sentiment in the creative stylings of @dunmeshiminimumwage

a detective who has a partner🔍 and a partner💕 who are friends so the three of them end up doing a lof things together and the detective refers to them as "my partners" and doesn't realise this makes everyone think they're polyamorous (they do end up polyamorous by the end of the story)

who gave project sekai the right to be impact me so much. to get me so emotionally invested in these characters.

There is plenty of talk about adolin calling kaladin bridgeboy being a bit. Off. But something that continuously bugged me was that everyone outside of bridge four constantly calls them bridgemen long after they've been freed. Like these guys are your honor guard why are you still saying "bridgemen, come here." They aren't bridgemen anymore my dude

I just wrote a monologue for a character that won't be introduced for a long time (and may never be introduced, who knows) and it actually made me cry while reading it over so uh... good luck, currently unnamed demon

Writing: Okay, show don't tell, keep the scene on track so it doesn't get boring, keep tangents at a minimum so it's not confusing.

Casey 'I SHALL ENTERTAIN YOU WITH BALLADS ABOUT THE ABOUT THE MANY FOES I HAVE RENT IN TWAIN' Jones: nuh uh >:}

I love her but she keeps changing the subject, heavy sigh.

if life was perfect there would be a tranquility base hotel + casino film. send post.

saw someone on twitter say "one of the main characters in a loki show should have been thor odinson, not some random Sylvie or Mobius.

...... It's like a written law"

wdyt do you agree

I don't think it was necessary to make Thor a main character in a Loki show, the same way it WOULD be possible to throw together a Thor movie without having Loki be a main focus.

The issue comes in the quality of the narrative itself, and writing that if evidently without intention to care for (whichever) main character's importance will not work out. Neither the Loki series nor Thor 4 cared about the arc, motivations, history, or continuity of the titular characters beyond trying to make the media marketable.

Overall messaging can add a layer to the impact a story will have. Musical score can be a bonus way to control tone or tie a story together. Supporting cast can be vital to tell a good story. Prioritising their presence over anyone's (especially Loki's) characterisation is what the Loki series suffered from, not that other, original-adjacent characters were there.

character wrapped 2023 💥

tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me

will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)

i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^

rgg tier list based on when antagonists have their villain monologues and when protagonists have their inspirational speeches ranging from Most Appropriate Time to We're In The Fruit Aisle Can We Do This Later

controversial opinion but i dont think the duffers set up byler well, lets be real most of the fandom outside of our echo chamber doesn't think byler is going to become canon. and like idk but i agree that they should have at least broken up mlvn and resolved the monologue issue (preferably not include it even) if they were going for the byler route. same for will's importance or even mike's importance for the plot. removing them from the show's main narrative doesn't make a good case for their importance in the story in the penultimate, esp when they received minimum screentime in this season. it's not the audience's fault to think mlvn is endgame or will or mike are unimportant when the way they've been handled were lackluster and when cali plot.... Was Like That. plus they gave it all to el's character lol. ofc ppl gonna think she's the protagonist when she was the one who opened the gate and created vecna and when mike spends the entire season talking about her. redpill but it's not making much sense here when the narrative is criticized in the byler fandom, acting like the writers did a perfect job in terms of setup is just being wilfully blind atp.

i think people not expecting it is the point though. like yeah it's obvious because when they did the same thing on a smaller scale with nancy's love triangle at the end of season 1 (her spending most of the season with jonathan them bonding and her and steve fighting but then still being together in the epilogue) most people could see that jonathan and nancy were gonna be together and not one person was called delusional for thinking that. but i really think the juxtaposition is the point, it's a queer couple so even with a similar storyline people don't expect it because of heteronormativity etc which is kind of depressing but it's also what's gonna make it happening even better...#imho

for the monologue, obviously i don't ENJOY IT but i don't hate it because i think it's interesting for el? whether you think she believed him or not, whether or not you think she was gonna break up with him at sbp, i think having him tell her he loves her makes it so no one can be like "but if mike had said he loved her everything would've been fine!" i like them going all the way in that sense. i think it's good for us as an audience to have that, this way there's no what ifs. it makes it apparent that their relationship couldn't be fixed by mike saying i love you and also that their fight in lenora wasn't only about mike and about their relationship, like mike never thought she was a monster that was all el, and him telling her that she's not a monster won't fix that internal struggle for her. and it also won't help her grow beyond the monster/superhero dichotomy.

i don't like will and mike being away from the supernatural plot either but yk i do think it's because they're important for the resolution of that storyline and that that's also supposed to come as a surprise. for mike well i don't actually know that he is, but i certainly know will is and i think they did set that up pretty well. he's not in episode 7 but they reveal that the upside down is frozen on the day he disappeared, he's in hawkins for five minutes but the season ends with him talking about his connection to vecna and everyone and their mother is reminded of the fact that will is a vital part of the supernatural plot. people don't necessarily think he's gonna be the key to resolving the upside down and vecna thing for good (no matter what that looks like, i'm expecting it to be both el and will because it kind of is the el show + we'll fix it together + lucas and erica (siblings) being the mvps of the basketball game and the dnd game that has a lot of foreshadowing in episode 1 etc) because el's the one who's always done it pretty much by herself...but it's also never worked. not for long anyway. i would say that like byler (but not as shocking because it's not someone assumed to be straight turning out to be gay) it's supposed to make people go oh why have i never thought of that of course will would be an integral part of the ud resolution this makes so much sense!!! when it happens. and characters also always expect el to be the one to fix it just like they don't expect byler to happen. meta.

and again i don't LOVE mike and will's thing being the conversational roadtrip only in season 4, but i get why they did it like i see the vision. i see where you're coming from and i agree that most people not seeing byler coming isn't necessarily their fault (even though i said it's similar to nancy's s1 triangle and everyone expected it then. nancy never gave steve an i love you i've loved you forever i'll love you forever speech, major difference), i really think it's NOT supposed to be that obvious. even though it is kind of. i get wishing they had broken up mlvn in volume 2 and i certainly would've liked not having to see bylers be called delusional 24/7 but i think mlvn breaking up would've made byler endgame wayy too obvious and if they wanted it to be obvious to the girls that get it only i think they've accomplished that. same with will and the supernatural plot. and everyone is free to not like it still, i just don't think that means the set up isn't good.

very last paragraph. i don't think everything they've ever written is perfect. i don't even think every decision that's been made by the st team regarding WILL's queerness is perfect like (this is another conversation) having noah deny the gay allegations on will's behalf a month before having him say oh yeah he is gay it's obvious is crazy to me it's no surprise that people feel like it's an afterthought and like byler is never gonna happen. even though i obviously disagree with them. fin.

Nothing reminds me that I can draw really good more than drawing shitposts while procastinating

"Anger is not enough"

Why can't I have the kind of anger that makes people take me seriously? The kind of anger that makes me break things and scream and appear big and dangerous? Why am I stuck with the kind of anger that makes my body itch, that makes me lose my breath and my eyes swell with tears?

Why can't it last? Why do I want it to be over so soon?

Thanks to my anger, I can reach impossible heights, but then the fall is so sudden and painful that it just leaves me desperate for the warm embrace that only this soil can give me.

Why does anger work for others but not for me?How can I make it work for me? What will it take for people to notice this pain when neither floods nor fires are enough?

What will it take you to listen to me when my battle-cry or my pleads for help go unheard? What will it take you to acknowledge my presence and to change the way things go?

What will it take you to respect me? How can I become the detail you won't be able to ignore anymore? When will I cease to be the thing you try to hide away from the rest of the world?

What kind of monstrous act of violence will I have to commit to please you- to get your attention?

...

How can I make you to fear me?