Coming right up ❤️

Fem!Reader X Eren

Warnings: 18+ NSFW smut / slight angst / cheating

Eren's brooding eyes snap towards his roomates bedroom door when he hears the muffled voices of you and your boyfriend. Your voices weren't quite yells - yet. But it was abundantly clear that there was almost certainly a storm brewing. Ignoring it, he returns his emerald greens onto the manga book he was reading, silently telling himself not to pry. This would be the fourth argument you two had this week - and it was only Wednesday. Over the course of the month...? He'd lost count.

He pushed away the irritation that began to claw under his skin. He'd always secretly had a thing for you and he seen that his douche bag of a roommate did not treat you as well as he should.

He leasuirely turns the page, his usual calm exterior hiding his frustration as sure enough, the volume of your voices begin to rise through the wood of the door.

He tries to ignore it, focusing on the magnificent art work that brought his pages to life. But he couldn't help but wonder in the back of his mind how much happier you'd be if you just left his ass and got together with himself.

When he hears your voice crack and an uncontrolled sob break through your lips, he leaps up with a sigh, scratching the back of his head and heading into his room. Hopefully by the time he has a shower and is dressed, the two of you would have hashed it out and made up.

Fat chance.

"You don't even have sex with me anymore..." He hears you cry tragically as he passes by the door to his room. "Do you think I'm ugly now...? I'm desperate here!"

His eyes widen and hands form into a fist, his entire body freezing at the sound of you sobbing those words.

Are you - no. Is he for real?! You're gorgeous. You're kind. Funny. Caring. Strong... What the fuck is wrong with him?!

He shakes his chestnut brown head and storms into his room, unintentionally slamming his door a lot louder than he'd meant to.

Eren takes his time in the shower - allowing the steam and hot water to relax him and refocus his mind. Really, it had nothing to do with him.

So why couldn't he shake you out of his mind?

He was relieved when he eventually got out, dried and dressed and he no longer heard the yelling. His eyes scanned the alarm clock next to his bed.

21:43

He'd been in the shower for a little over an hour. The warm water soaking into his skin and making it feel that extra bit soft. With a lazy yawn, he strolls to his door to pick up his book from the living room. He's surprised to see you sitting on the couch, alone reading his manga.

"Hey." He sounds, eyes wide as your beautiful form is melted onto the sofa.

"Oh, hey." You sit up nervously, placing his book down. "Sorry Eren, is this yours?"

"Where is he?" Eren asks, walking into the room.

"...I don't know." You mutter.

He could see that spark behind your eyes becoming extinguished due to that Jack ass and he wasn't going to just stand by and watch that happen.

He places his hands in this trouser pockets, leaning against the wall. His man bun a lot more loose than usual from his freshly washed hair; a couple of strands falling over his handsome face.

"You know... I think you're gorgeous." He admits without a care in the world.

You blink in surprise, not really knowing what to say. "I... Uh... Thank you, Eren. It means a lot."

"I know." He shrugs, slinking over to you and plonking himself down next to you, the weight of him making you sink slightly. "I couldn't help but hear you arguing. If you ask me..." He turns his head to look at you - his dark smouldering eyes peircing your very being. "He's an idiot."

Your cheeks begin to burn as you glance away shyly, your confidence well and truly in the back pocket of your boyfriend's jeans - wherever they may be or who's floor they're on right now.

He returns his gaze ahead, arms splaying over the back of the couch, his left arm over your shoulders but not touching you.

"I'm sorry you heard us arguing." You whisper.

"Doesn't bother me." He shrugs. "What bothers me is the burning question of why you're even still with him."

You don't answer. You don't have an answer. It's a question you'd asked yourself all too often.

Whatever shower gel Eren uses rolls off him into your nose. A mixture of spiced sandalwood with a hint of teatree maybe? Whatever it was, it combined with the warmth of his skin, blanketing you with such compassion you could almost feel his increased heart rate as his eyes slyly drink you in.

"I heard other things, too." He mutters, suddenly leaning his face close to yours with a smirk. "I can help you, if you want."

"H-help me?" You heart palpitates and butterflies flutter within you, his demeanor totally changing into something you'd never seen from him before.

"I can make you feel good." He explains with such simplicity, you were certain he couldn't possibly be taking about what you thought he was.

Your vacant expression forces him to spell it out for you.

With his large hand cupping your face , he brushes his lips against yours his eyes then scanning your orbs for any resistance. All he can see is how startled you are; wanting to kiss him but your conscience holding you back.

"Let me take care of you..." He reiterates, his hand now slowly moving up your thigh. "In more ways than one."

"E-eren..." You breathe, your logical thinking quickly being taken over by your now throbbing libido as this gorgeous man now gently slides his tongue into your mouth, catching your lips tenderly once he was fully inside.

He's beyond elated when you return his affections, your hands quickly finding their way to his hair; your breathing rate quickened yet heavy. His tongue caresses yours, swirling and entwining, his throat buzzing with a low, short moan.

It's a hurried kiss - your hands roaming each others face and hair with quick succession, your inhales and exhales pushing through your nostrils loudly, the both of you quickly becoming flustered.

Whether it were his alpha male DNA coming into play, or he got too fired up (maybe both) he ends up scooping you up with ease and carrying you, bridal style, into his bedroom. His lips never leave yours as he pushes the door closed with his foot behind hiny, reaching around and clicking the lock, before lowering you gently onto the bed.

He crawls over you, his breath heavy and eyes heavy lidded; his mouth finding its way to your neck and grazing it.

"Eren... I can't. It's not right..."

You hear yourself but it didn't feel like it was you saying those words, your body screaming at you to just shut the fuck up.

"I'm just showing you how you should be treated." He breathes, hand now roaming up your shirt. "You're not doing anything. It's all on me."

Your moan that escapes you as he pulls at your nipple pushes him on the verge of crazed lust, his lips returning to yours as he rolls your breast around in his large palm, squeezing and pulling. It had been so long since you'd been touched in this way, your body craved it so badly. You found yourself grinding against his thigh, your kisses now desperate as you tug at his hair.

Somewhere within enjoying his touches and kisses, he'd removed your pants. You weren't sure when, just one moment they were there, the next your legs were bare as his hand cups your crotch, your wetness soaking through the material of your panties.

"Eren..." You gasp, back arching at his warm skin - even through the material it felt so good.

His fingers hastily push them to the side with a groan, wanting nothing more than to have you fully. But he knew that wouldn't be possible. Not with the thought of him looming over you like a shadow.

You cry out a lot louder than expected when his long finger slides into you, followed by a second, his thumb circling your external magic spot as he continued to nuzzle into your neck; kissing, whispering and biting.

"Do my fingers feel good inside you?"

You nod, your grip on the sheets tightening, your legs tensing and releasing as he begins to wiggle his digits.

He'd spent many-a-night imagining you under him like this. His long cock was solid, and you could feel his yearning for you pressing tightly against your thigh.

Your body is on fire as he works you, picking up speed as your insides suck him in, caressing him and begging for more.

"You're so fucking gorgeous..." He hums, now looking down into your eyes. "Fuck... You've got me so hard."

You whine loudly at his words, back arching and nails digging deeper into his matress. Your face is burning, boardering on hysterical as your untouched sex is so lovingly caressed.

"yes, Eren... It's so good..." You sob, your mouth hanging open and your eyes clasping closed. "Ah~ Ah~~!"

"Fuck..." He marvels, watching you squirm at his charity.

"I'm going to... Already..." You warn, feeling suddenly full as the pleasure begins to get too intense.

"yes, cum baby..." He smiles softly yet devishly, his pace getting faster.

Your silent scream confirms your climax, your back springing and your insides clamping down, sprinkling his palm with your water as you swirl right down the drain and into the palm of Eren Yeager.

He watches you in sheer awe as you come undone, unweaving and unravelling at his mercy. Squirming and trembling, your body now under his control during those few seconds of unrestricted ecstasy.

You expected to be riddled with guilt when you'd come back to earth. But strangely you didn't. It felt... Right.

"Do you feel better?" He mutters, his mouth caressing your shoulder.

You nod, speachless.

He removes his fingers reluctantly; placing them on his flat tongue. "You taste good too." His tone has a bitter sting to it, you're perfect, just like he'd always thought.

"Be with me. Leave him." He states. "You deserve so much better. I want to be the one who takes care of you."

You think about it for a moment. It makes so much sense to do so. But well, y/n... Whether you take him up on his offer or not - it's up to you.

15 for fma ask I know you got something good for that one aure 👀👀

15. What’s one thing you would change about the series and why?

ONE THING??

Hmmm okay. I'll do one for mangahood and one for 03. And I'll make them really big concepts so I can say more 🥰

Mangahood

I'd change the series's handling of race and imperialism. With Ed and Al, we'd meet Xerxesian descendants and see a diaspora community. With the Xing squad, we'd get rid of the Magical Asian trope (sensing qi? really?) and like. have them use alchemy/alkahestry to sense energy and stuff.

With young Roy Maes and Heathcliff, Heathcliff would get a personality outside of being The Ishvalan Kid. He'd get more lines. And either a) Roy and Maes help handle Heathcliff's bullies in a way that isn't super white saviorist or b) the narrative makes clear that while they were well-intentioned, they didn't do it right.

Miles would punch Olivier in the face for her comment about not caring about the Ishvalan genocide as long as he does his job. It can work canonically. They dueled or something. And when Ed says that shit about "I don't see color!!" maybe Miles doesn't react but someone teaches Ed why that's not okay.

I go back and forth on Scar's portrayal (and I have an ask sitting in my inbox from a long time ago about it lol). On one hand, it's not cool that he's presented as the villain against Ed and Winry, on the other hand he doesn't have to be a Good Genocide Victim yknow? But I'd delve deeper into his trauma and make it clear that it's not just the genocide itself, but the history of Amestrian imperialism that caused that pain.

And Ed's side note that "Amestris is an empire and was created by colonizing smaller countries!" would not be a side note. The story would delve deep into that violent history and how it shaped the world we see today.

Also, Envy wouldn't be the catalyst for the Ishval war. It seems awfully halfhearted that we have the homunculi start the war, and have Riza say "well it's humans that carried it out!"

It can still be a child's death that pushes the Ishvalans over the edge. Or maybe it's something else. Maybe there isn't even a Franz Ferdinand, a single event that broke the camel's back. Maybe the Ishvalans just got fucking tired of military occupation.

And seven years later, Wrath isn't the one who orders the genocide. Sure, he's still in charge, and it's still part of his plan. But the "final solution" was something that these nationalistic citizens wanted, plain and simple.

03

For the most part, I think the race themes in 03 are good (but I'm iffy about the Traumatized Brown Woman trope with Rose and I def don't like the Magical G Slur trope with Noah, or how she fits the stereotype of romani being prone to steal). Anyway that's for another post. For our purposes, my main problem with 03 is its handling of power dynamics.

And no, that's not me dressing up race in a different disguise! Lol! I'm more referring to power dynamics between individual people.

In the beginning, Ed is an eleven-year-old and dancing on the palm of Roy's risk-taking. We keep it that way, but it becomes abundantly clear that this is not okay. Sure, Roy did it to help, but he traumatized Ed even before he became a child soldier. The narrative shows! us! that!

In my version, Izumi never beats her students bloody. She never physically abuses them so badly that if this were in real life, they'd have concussions or permanent disabilities from it. Because that's really not cool, 03! They're not so fucking terrified of her that when she shows up Ed tries to climb out the window to escape. Izumi doesn't tie them up like prisoners to take them to her place. We just do what mangahood did, where they come willingly!

Maes working Sheska to death isn't played for laughs. She's a vulnerable worker; I think she dropped out of college, and she needs. money to pay her mother's medical bills. When Maes piles her with so much work that she looks physically exhausted, keeps her working long hours and doesn't pay her overtime, and shows no sympathy when she cries from the stress, it's not played as a joke! Sheska doesn't take it; she fucking stands up and fights back.

Also, Maes doesn't kidnap Winry because the show did that as a joke and I did not find that funny.

Speaking of kidnapping Winry! Barry the Chopper doesn't dress up as a woman to do it. Maybe the whole wolf in sheep's clothing, "man in a woman's dress" trope didn't have blatantly transphobic connotations in 2003 but now it definitely does. He just looks like a harmless man and Winry climbs in his truck. Or maybe he has his wife lure her. Either way is better.

Also, Dante's power over the country is shown in a systemic way, rather than just random alchemists making philosopher's stones. The fall of Xerxes and other civilizations has ripple effects we see in Amestrian society.

Fma asks

Deca-Dence - Review!

Wooooo Deca-Dence!

Deca-Dence was a summer 2020 anime, and that’s when I originally watched it! I've watched it about a dozen times since, as it landed itself right on my roster of my favorite animes, if not my favorite of all time.

Deca-Dence is an original piece, so no manga source material (whaaat!) and comes from the genius brain of Yuzuru Tachikawa, the director of other fan-favorites like Mob Psycho 100 and Death Parade (a review for Death Parade is in the making!). Original mangas are such a hit-or-miss recently, and I think that this one got the bullseye!

What's our concept?: Set in the future, the world is now plagued by monsters known as Gadolls. In an attempt to keep humans safe from them, mobile fortress Deca-Dence was constructed, where Gears, who live near the top, fight the Gadolls, and Tankers, who live at the bottom, provide support from inside Deca-Dence. Our protag, Natsume, is a Tanker who wants to fight with the Gears, but her prosthetic arm keeps her out of battle. That is until she meets Kaburagi, an older Tanker who seems to know his way around fighting and might have more to him than he lets on.

It's gonna be hard to go through this without spoilers, but I promise that I'll keep it spoiler-free until the section at the bottom!

So overall, what do I think?: 10/10! I've already said it, but Deca-Dence is one of my favorite animes of all time, and it deserves the spot! It has incredible characters, a story that keeps you hooked even through twists and turns, and a pace that manages to cram so much plot into only 12 episodes without feeling overwhelming or rushed! Deca-Dence presents ideas that, at the surface, may seem overused or old, but spins them in such a way that they're completely original. It follows through with character relationships, making them worthwhile and fulfilling.

Let's start with the story this time!: 10/10!! It's going to be really hard to explain the beauty of Deca-Dence's plot without spoiling it, but I'm doing my best! I really do recommend just giving the show a try, though, as it's really worth it! (Don't just drop it after episode 2, like a lot of people did :( That's just judging it wayyy too early!!)

Deca-Dence has a story that's thrilling and new. Everything that happens builds off of itself in a way that's natural and smooth. The elements of the story, no matter how different they may seem, play their part and work together well. The show isn't predictable either - don't go in thinking that you know what's going to become of it. Each twist feels surprising and new without feeling like they're coming out of left field.

I won't say much more in fear of ruining it, but Deca-Dence's story holds up well, and with its strong cast of characters supporting it, it becomes absolutely suburb. I think a lot of people fell into this pit of seeing only the beginning and tossing it aside, but no matter how strange the concepts in it may be, they wind together to form something really unique!

So those characters, huh?: 11/10, I love them so much! I'm a character nerd through and through, and Deca-Dence sends my little character-obsessed heart wild. The protags, Natsume and Kaburagi, are both fascinating, have incredible development, and engage in a character dynamic that is so natural and well-written that I never doubted it.

To be honest, Natsume doesn't have a personality that's anything new. She's young, determined to a fault, naive, and a complete sweetheart. She wants to fight the Gadoll and she'll do anything to achieve that dream. She's not a natural at fighting but her motivation to do so makes her believable and relatable. She's looked down upon because of her prosthetic arm and forced into a job that she doesn't like, but she never gives up on her goals. Even though she's so simple, her interactions and energy make her lovable and a wonderful protagonist.

Kaburagi follows the washed-out warrior trope, as he's an older man assigned to clean-up duty who keeps to himself and never shows too much emotion. While this type of character can sometimes get annoying, the show gives Kaburagi enough time to show his real feelings and explain how he got to his position. This proper development keeps him down-to-Earth and shows him as even more flawed than Natsume. Kaburagi's motivation, which I can't explain for spoiler reasons, is entirely believable and explains perfectly why he decides to put up with Natsume, even though she's his polar opposite.

The relationship between the two characters is balanced and beautiful. It's given the proper time to grow, mature, and ends up being extremely worthwhile. Natsume relies on Kaburagi, as he sees the potential in her and continues to support her in ways no one else ever has, and Kaburagi understands that Natsume is everything that he's trying to rebel against. Their relationship is emotional, runs deep, and leaves you wishing that there was more of them to watch, even after the show has ended.

The villain! The villain. I cannot talk all that much about the villain at the risk of spoiling. He is evil. I really really hated him, and that is a very good thing because it means that he's well-written. His motivation makes sense, his actions make you want to strangle him, his design was really really good! He's not the most interesting thing in the show, as his character is really only there to move the story along, but not every villain needs to be incredibly deep for a show to be good.

Lastly, our supporting characters! While none of them are as wonderful as Natsume or Kaburagi, they're still interesting and hold their own. They play important parts in the show and all of their interactions with the main two feel natural. Their conflicts make sense, their resolutions feel well-earned, and their personalities are all unique! For a 12-episode anime, there's a larger cast of supporting characters than you would think, and nearly all of them are memorable and loveable.

Time to shut up about characters, what about the art?: 9/10, ooooh yes the art! Deca-Dence is gorgeous! It's animated by studio Nut (bwahahhaha), who haven't done that much else in the anime world. Still, for a relatively new studio, it's absolutely amazing! The characters all have unique looks that make them stand out and the fight scenes are to die for. They lose a point on the CG, since it's a little bit less than amazing, but again, for a new studio, it's definitely not the worst I've seen!! (Admittedly, I also don't like CG much at all, so I'm always harsh towards it when it's used).

Deca-Dence switches between two styles that vastly contradict each other, one which is a colorful, happy-go-lucky style, and one that's the more typical anime style. I'll speak more about them in the spoilers section, but they do a wonderful job at maintaining the tone of the show, as to not let it get too dark, and forming a clear divide between the events of the two parts.

Oh goshhh the Gadolls look so cool. I'm so obsessed with cool monsters in anime and woah they look awesome!! They're original, with cool designs that I haven't seen elsewhere. The show could've so easily slapped in some pretty typical-looking dragons or wolves or whatever, but they instead spent time on these epic creatures, and it's so worth it! It makes the setting that much more unique and allows it to stand out from other animes.

Surely there's a flaw in this anime? The pacing, maybe?: 9/10. Yeah, I would argue that the pacing is Deca-Dence's weakest point. Not that the pacing is particularly bad compared to other shows! I still think that, for a 12-episode anime, it does a wonderful job of fitting in a large amount of plot into only about 5 hours! But, at some points, parts felt rushed or confusing, as the show would zoom into them. I never felt like I was truly lost, though. Even if I did wish that there was a break from the action, I never found myself really thinking that the show was leaving me behind in the dust. It's not the kind of show that you can turn on and leave running while you multitask, though. Blink for too long and you might miss something important, which can ruin some of the hard-hitting twists that the anime works so hard to build up.

OK! Time for spoilers! I beg you, go watch the anime before you read past this, because it's totally worth it!!

Woahh episode 2 am I right?? I thought that I clicked into the wrong anime when I began it, it took such a wild turn, and so soon in the anime too. This is what I really mean when I talk about a show not being what it appears to be! Again, I really encourage you to watch it for yourself, but if you're that stubborn on reading this through before you turn it on:

Deca-Dence is not about the heart-wrenching battles between Gears and their desperate attempts to keep humanity alive, because Gears are just avatars for cyborgs! You see, there's a civilization of cyborg people who are living above the Earth, who log in to fight in mobile fortress Deca-Dence as a game. So the Gadolls are genetically grown as prey for the Gears and the entire story surrounding Deca-Dence's battles are scripted. Crazy right!? The best part: the Tankers aren't in on this at all. You heard me: Natsume and her human friends have no idea that Deca-Dence is staged.

From here, Deca-Dence has two distinct parts: we'll call them "Natsume's half" and "Kaburagi's half". Natsume's half refers to the mobile fortress, the Tankers who live unaware of the cyborgs, and the art style that premiered in the first episode. Kaburagi's half is the Solid Quake organization, the Gears who are avatars of the cyborgs, and the goofy, stylized art style with big lines and bright colors.

The twist and the diverging sides of the story set this show up as not your typical sci-fi anime, but as something a little deeper. The stakes are the same, as humanity is in just as much peril as it was before - it becomes abundantly clear that the Gears and cyborgs don't care about them - but the name of the game completely changes as you realize that our so-called "heroes" aren't really all that heroic, and there's a lot more going on.

Kaburagi is, of course, one of these cyborgs, cursed to live among the Tankers because of a mistake he made while playing as a Gear. Now, he's in charge of eliminating "bugs", or mistakes that the system finds. He's upset with his life, frustrated at what he's doing, and contemplating suicide. But when Natsume walks into his life, a little girl that the system considers legally dead, Kaburagi sees a chance to rebel, even the slightest, against the system. He's supposed to kill Natsume, but instead, he takes her under his wing, determined to protect what he's been instructed to eliminate. This development gives their relationship a deeper meaning, even if Natsume doesn't know it.

Deca-Dence does a wonderful job at showing the watchers both sides of the story but keeping Natsume's side in the dark. Even though we see scenes from Kaburagi's side, Natsume knows nothing about them. When Kaburagi leaves after Hugin kills his avatar, Nastume doesn't know where he's gone and has no reason to believe that he hasn't run away. There's no way she could guess that Kaburagi's new form - his weird orange Gear avatar - is the mentor that she once knew. And when Kaburagi, back in his original form, is killed in front of her, she really believes that he is dead. When Natsume finds out about the truth of the Gadolls - that the world she knows is fake - her horror is palpable and realistic, because there's no way she could've known any better.

Kaburagi's world has a goofy style to it, with the cyborgs looking cartoonish rather than realistic. While it might initially seem off-putting, I think that it ends up balancing the tone of the story much better. Consider the hellscape that is the reform facility that Kaburagi visits. Imagine how dark it would've been if it was not in a silly style! By keeping the style cuter rather than realistic, the show doesn't dip too far into dark and gritty, and I really liked it!

It also set up this harsh divide between Kabruagi's half, where things are easygoing, done for pleasure and fun, and not nearly as harsh as Natsume's world (Look at the name of the series! Decadence literally means living in excessive luxury!). Even when the cyborgs are in their Gear forms, which are drawn in Natsume's style, they're still a lot more colorful and vivid, showing that their lives aren't as harsh as that of the Tankers. The art styles reflect the differences between the two halves and give them both distinct tones and personalities!

& finally, let's take an in-depth look at one scene!: I had a really hard time picking what I thought summed up the series in a single scene. In the end, I think that Natsume and Kaburagi's discussion at the end of episode 7 was the best. Here, we see a culmination of a lot of the character development going on. Kaburagi, in this scene, is in a Gears avatar that Natsume doesn't recognize, meeting her for the first time since his normal avatar was killed. Natsume's been working with the Tankers to protect them from Gadolls that infiltrated the fortress, and she's motivated them all to rise up and fix the hole in the fortress themselves.

Kaburagi has encouraged Natsume to be a stronger person, even though she had to be independent and not rely on him any longer. His pessimistic view on the world - that they'll never defeat the Gadolls - has rubbed off on her, but it's only made her more determined to be stronger to stand up to them. In this scene, we see her breaking down as she considers that Kaburagi might be right, and that she'll never kill them all, but that she needs to continue fighting.

Though Kaburagi previously doubted Natsume and her endless determination, he now feels filled with the same motivation. Natsume has convinced him, time and time again, that he can't give up, and so he decides that he's willing to do anything to make sure that she never loses that hope. He wants her dreams to come true, and he knows that she can't accomplish them alone.

This perfectly shows the effects that they have on one another. Natsume is now stronger than she's ever been: independent, able to take down Gadolls on her own, and determined enough to patch up the hole that no one else thought could be fixed. Kaburagi, in stark contrast to his suicidal thoughts from episode two, is now completely devoted to make the world a safe place for Natsume. Their relationship has shaped one another into being the best versions of themselves, and this isn't even the end! They still complete their growth in the last few episodes, but I've rambled about them enough.

We're done!: That's my review of Deca-Dence! I really believe that it's one of the masterpiece animes in recent years, and I wish it got more attention. I'm sure that there's plenty of anime out there like this one - forgotten diamonds in the rough - that I'd love to dig up and fawn over. Tell me if you know any! Or, if you disagree with my review, tell me where you think I'm wrong!

Hi! I stumbled into your blog and it's amazing! I have so many questions. I will apologize now for it. Husband and wife of 20 years. All of a sudden keeps money and doesn't share it with his wife after they agreed that she wouldn't work. And because he has ADHD (diagnosed and doesn't like taking his meds) she has to remind him to pay the same bills EVERY month? Now she has a car payment because her car broke down, he asks her every month if he needs to pay her car payment. What to tell her?

Same "question" anon. They have 4 children, she does all the house work cooking and parenting. All appointments, school stuff and homework. She did that even when she had the job. He's inconsistent with helping her with ANYTHING so she just got tired of begging and nagging.He spends more time on his phone than he does sleeping. You can tell its taking a tole on her mental state. The problem is he genuinely seems to love her and the kids. They have gone to therapy a few times. Is this abuse?

Well, it’s certainly not a good situation, I can tell you that.

Whether the financial stuff qualifies as abuse really depends on the specifics of their situation. Withholding access to finances can definitely be a form of abuse, but not every couple where one person manages the finances is abusive. Sometimes one person in a relationship handles the money out of convenience, or because dealing with money makes the other person anxious - things start to become abusive when one partner is not able to access money for essentials if they need them, if one partner feels their spending is excessively monitored and tracked by the other partner, or if money is being used to trap one person in the relationship. Does does your friend have access to any money or spending at all? Does she have a credit card? Can she withdraw money from a joint account at a bank branch? If there was some sort of emergency and she needed to leave him, would she be able to finance that herself - for instance, could she afford to put gas in her car and drive to her parents’ house or spend the night at a hotel? Does she have access to spending money or money for basic necessities like groceries? And most importantly, does her husband managing the household finances make her feel trapped and afraid? Or is she mostly just annoyed that bills aren’t being paid without reminders? If her husband was reliable about paying all the bills on time, would this be an issue for her? Again, I don’t know the specifics of their situation, but if the money situation is making her feel like she’s helpless and unable to leave the relationship or like she has to beg for money for basic necessities, I’d be concerned about financial abuse. If she’s got her own credit card for emergencies and is mostly just exasperated that he’s paying the mortgage late every month, I wouldn’t necessarily call this abuse - but again, I wouldn’t call it a good situation either. 

In general, though, it seems like the core issue in this relationship is that the husband is refusing to take responsibility for managing his own mental health, even when it’s taking a toll on his wife. And that is super, super not okay.  As someone who has ADHD myself, I understand how difficult it can be to manage basic life expectations when you have this condition. Things like remembering to pay bills or file taxes on time, being on time for work, meeting deadlines, and keeping up with household chores are more difficult for me than they are for other people - this is a common experience for people with ADHD. I am sympathetic to the struggle. But the fact that these tasks are more difficult for me does not mean that I have an excuse to just... not do them, especially if other people are counting on me to get these things done. It is not my partner’s responsibility to clean up after me or manage the household by himself because I find things more difficult than he does - it’s up to me to communicate with him and find strategies that let me consistently take on half of the workload without my partner having to chase me to get it done. I set numerous reminders, do housework in short bursts, prioritize tasks, listen to audiobooks while I work and hold myself accountable for getting important tasks done. Yes, it sucks sometimes that this stuff just doesn’t come easily to me, but I still don’t have the right to run my partner ragged and automatically expect him to pick up my slack. My ADHD is not my fault, but it is my responsibility. And the same is true for the husband in this situation.  I’m not a huge fan of ultimatums in relationships, but I think it’s time for a come-to-Jesus moment here. The wife needs to sit down with her husband and lay out how this situation is affecting her, what her boundaries are, and what her expectations are going forward. She needs to make it abundantly clear that the relationship cannot continue the way it’s been going, and that something needs to change. What that change looks like is up to them - maybe he needs to go back on his medication. Maybe he needs to hand over control of the finances. Maybe he needs to take on more chores and childcare. Maybe it’s all of the above. Either way, this is not an issue that will resolve on its own - a difficult conversation needs to happen, and there needs to be real, concrete efforts to change. If the husband refuses to change or doesn’t follow through, it’s really up to the wife to decide where her limits are. If the situation never improves, how much more of this is she willing to put up with? Is she prepared to spend the rest of her life constantly nagging a grown man to make the car payment on time and hang up his wet towels? How long is she willing to wait for things to improve? At what point does the stress of this relationship outweigh the positives? She’s the only one who can decide the answers to those questions. The best you can do is to be there for her while she tries to make up her mind.  Best of luck to all of you! MM

Cinder is a victim of child abuse

Some time ago someone requested of me to make a theory post about this and I finally had enough time to get to it. So let's talk about how the show makes it clear that Cinder was abused as a child.

First thing that springs to mind is her motive of course.

Strength. Fear. Power.

Please keep the order in mind, because it will become relevant later on. Anyway, if Cinder only wanted power or strength alone, then I admit there would be room for many more different interpretations for what drove her to Salem, but our dear maiden 'wants to be feared' and therin lies our first clue. This combination makes it abundantly clear that there was a time in Cinder's life where she had no control over it. Where people with more authority and strength lorded over her. She feared them because they tended to hurt her.

Now, taking into account that Cinder can't be older than 25 years in the show and the fact that one of RWBY's overall themes are family related, it is not very farfetched to say Cinder's family or primary caretakers are the culprits for instilling such a mindset in her that gave her the impression she needed to be stronger than them and make them fear her instead.

If we delve in a bit deeper and look at vol 4 and 5 we can see Cinder in a more vulnerable state. We also can observe how she reacts to being physically hurt.

At first, she is afraid. It is mixed with shock and surprise, but then comes the anger. It isn't slow, it doesn't deliberately grow more and more, it explodes. Now I know there are instances were we are overcome with anger after a rather shocking and frightful situation whereas another was about to harm us, but we are talking about Cinder, a person who only allows a few people to see her vulnerable and even then it's not exactly out of her own free will. Having such a tight grip on her emotions most of the time only strengthen the belief that she was abused and hurt as a child. If you are small and afraid, you try to stay out of discourse to not make it worse for yourself, which leads to swallowing a lot of justified built up anger down. To suppress it. But you can only do that for so long before it blows up in your face and even the smallest thing can tip you off anf send you into an uncontrollable fit of anger. You literally lose your control for a while and that is exactly what happened with Cinder in her fight against Jaune. He frightened and hurt her. He made her subconsciously remember the time where she was helpless and afraid and that's when she loses it. She has no real emotional regulation in that regard. It stemms from bad coping mechanisms to deal with her abuse. Cinder has Trauma, she is traumatized, and not only from the Fall of Beacon, but from the trials of her past as well.

Another hint to support my claim is Cinder weirdly obsessing, or rather her reaction when confronted with other people wanting or talking about killing their direct relatives.

The way it dawned on her that Mercury had murdered his own father.

The face she made when Raven revealed she wanted to get rid of her brother.

Looks pretty similar, doesn't it? She looks way more pleased and excited about other people murdering or planning the murder of a family member than killing in itself.

Cinder is not a person that enjoys simple murder. She didn't seem to enjoy killing Amber outside of obtaining the maiden powers. She didn't enjoy killing Pyrrha after that one asked her about destiny. Cinder doesn't enjoy the act of killing in general, but she revels in the part before that. The helplessness and hopelessness that radiates off of her victims, the power she has over them in that moment. These are the things she craves, because she was on the receiving end once and she refuses to ever go back to that position again. So the way she reacts to the mere mention of murdering family members makes it clear that the people that abused her as a child were close relatives. This is not conjecture, but facts presented in the show itself.

Now, at first glance, Cinder's behavior around Salem indicates otherwhise. She doesn't flinch when yelled at, doesn't really react to Salem losing her temper a bit as she slammed her hands on the table demanding Cinder speak up for herself. All things that should indeed trigger her if she was abused by her family. The thing is, it only applies to Salem herself.

When Watts touched her without her consent, what face did Cinder make again?

And if that wasn't telling enough, she even burns his hand right after. Cinder reacts defensive almost immediately after being roughly grabbed by someone without her consent. This is a trigger for her.

But coming back to Salem then. Why is she different? Why is Cinder not reacting to her outbursts?

Well, she does...in a different way. Whereas Cinder's family abused her primary physically, leading to Cinder wanting to be strong and feared, Salem abuses her mentally and much more subtly. I don't think Cinder even realizes what is done to her. Nevertheless, her flinching hardly when being asked whether she lied to Salem, her entitlement, her deeprooted loyalty and gratefulness to her, all of this points to Cinder being groomed. And yes, this implies that Salem herself raised Cinder at some point. She manipulated her and made sure to insert herself as her role model for Cinder to imitate. Salem is Cinder's concept of power. All she knew before was that she needed to be stronger and make herself being feared, but Salem is the embodiement of all these things, but in a different way. She doesn't only use force to get what she wants, nor is she only using fear to swear people to her side, she is a master manipulator and that is what Cinder wants, even if she can't quite understand and grasp it yet. This is why she wants to be 'powerful'.

In the end, Cinder is a product of her environment and upbringing and the series does its best to show that to us without outright spelling it out.

But hey, it's just me theorizing again, so you are allowed to disagree XD

I've just read that post on bridges in TASM films, and it reminded me: Before the Spider-verse comic event, Gwen Stacy was essentially the Lost Lenore of Comics. Now Spider-Gwen is popular enough that her fans, and probably younger generations would balk at the idea of Gwen dying. I'm aware that you're a fan of The Night Gwen Stacy Died story, so I hope this doesn't come off as judgmental: It's a major part of the main Spider-Man comics, but does it NEED to be part of general narrative?

This is something I do think about a lot actually because, as you’ve said, it’s pretty well known I’m a fan of The Night Gwen Stacy Died (or a Gwen Stacy deathfucker as some of my friends have delicately and tactfully put it), but I’m also a fan of Gwen, and additionally as a woman who loves big two superhero comics I do think it’s important to consider the treatment of women within that particular media. So I don’t think this question is rude at all, and I think it’s an interesting thing to debate and to talk over. As famous female characters deaths go, Gwen’s is definitely up there, and it is a storyline I personally love and have a lot of feelings about, because, to put it simply, I love a well-done fictional tragedy. I find a lot of the rhetoric around this death to be iffy – Gerry Conway’s own statement that Gwen died because she as a “non-entity”, as compared to the current hyping up of Spider-Gwen as the “Gwen we’ve always needed”, which seems to imply that it was Gwen’s own fault that she died for not being an interesting enough character, or that Gwen is only a valuable or relatable character if she herself has superpowers or is leading a book. There’s a lot to unpack here, no matter what your stance is. I think it’s particularly telling that Gwen’s death is very up there with, say, the deaths of Jason Todd or Bucky Barnes, and yet Gwen, as a female character, does not get a violent “return from the dead” vengeance storyline along the lines of Red Hood or Winter Soldier. Even the recent reframing of Gwen Stacy-65 as Ghost Spider is totally divorced from this subject, despite the fact that the name alone seems to tease the idea of Gwen, back from the dead. The fact that even with Gwen’s resurgence in popularity following The Amazing Spider-Man franchise’s portrayal of her still doesn’t mean she gets a revenge saga the way young and tragically at one time dead male characters do is I think very telling. (I could write the hell out of a Red Hood-esque Gwen Stacy revenge murder miniseries, I am just saying, Marvel.)

But to go back to the question at hand, if I’m being a hundred percent honest, I think that to keep a version of Peter in line with his 616 character development, he needs to suffer a loss of this magnitude at this particular point in his life. Personally, I don’t think that loss needs to be Gwen, but within the adaptation that is being told I think it needs to be of equal weight and importance to what 616 Gwen meant to 616 Peter. Gwen traditionally only ever gets spoken about as his girlfriend, but if you look at the period of comics surrounding her death, it becomes abundantly clear that Peter and Gwen were planning to get married shortly before her death, which adds a certain amount of weight to the relationship that simply referring to her as his girlfriend doesn’t lend:

(Amazing Spider-Man #99)

(Amazing Spider-Man #103)

Additionally, for me, I think it’s important that Gwen’s death isn’t just a one and done – she’s dead and it means something, both to Peter and to the rest of the cast that knew her. The definition of fridging is when a woman is killed for a man’s emotional development, true, but I think a key issue is that often when a woman is fridged there isn’t much emotional development when you actually look at the text. The man is sad but then he moves on, and maybe it comes up when he gets into a new relationship with a different woman because he needs to angst about how she can’t end up just like Poor Dead Previous Girlfriend. But I think Gwen’s death has a real weight in the series. She’s not a non-entity; her absence matters. I once saw a post about how Gwen’s death didn’t really have an effect on Peter and I think about it all the time over how incredibly wrong it was:

(Amazing Spider-Man #127)

(Amazing Spider-Man #136)

(Spider-Man & Black Cat: Evil That Men Do #6)

(Webspinners #12)

So this is a loss that deeply  and consistently haunts Peter and not one he ever fully recovers from. It’s a loss with very lasting impact, like I said, not just for him, but for other people who knew Gwen.

“How lovely she was! What a wonderful couple she and made! I hoped we’d friends for life!” – Amazing Spider-Man #365

“Gwen was our light.” – Spectacular Spider-Man #250.

“She fell… and, in a sense – we all fell with her.” – Spectacular Spider-Man #200.

“Peter… loved Gwen. I loved Gwen! She was a good person.” – Spectacular Spider-Man #180

“Maybe because she knew Gwen, and was also friend.” – Amazing Spider-Man #509

Roughly speaking, I would say that to keep Peter on track with his 616 character development, the loss needs to be of a person in a serious and committed romantic relationship with Peter. The circumstances need to be duplicated, in my opinion, to track with 616 Peter’s development, but Gwen doesn’t necessarily have to be the character that dies. I personally have several WIP AUs where I’ve subbed out Gwen in this role for Harry; combined with Harry’s drug addiction and Peter’s natural protectiveness, as well as Norman’s role in this particular murder, it makes for a very interesting version of events. This sounds like I’m framing things around the man, but Spider-Man comics are a story about Peter, and so what Peter feels can’t be discounted from the story, and I do feel Peter needs to feel deeply about this. There are a lot of Spider-Man female characters death I feel very negatively about: Mattie Franklin, Ashley Kafka, Marla Jameson, Jean DeWolff, to name a few. But I feel negatively about them in part because if you’re going to kill a character, it should majorly impact the story and the main character. Gwen’s death does that in a way that the character deaths listed above don’t. In my opinion, if you’re going to kill an established character, it should matter beyond the story they die in. For me that’s a big part of what separates a character death I enjoy from I don’t.

At the end of the day, I think loss is built into Spider-Man as a story at its core. Look where everything starts: Peter, an established orphan, losing his uncle to violence. Right from the very beginning, we have an established loss. Then those losses add up: his parents, Uncle Ben, George Stacy, Gwen Stacy. Later, Harry Osborn, his and Mary Jane’s child, his clone Ben Reilly. Loss is embedded into the story on such a deep level that I think when you remove it, you ultimately remove Spider-Man’s identity itself, which has always been part of my complaint about the total refusal to even reference Uncle Ben within Spider-Man: Homecoming. And while I may love The Amazing Spider-Man 2′s retelling of The Night Gwen Stacy died as an adaptation, I also totally understand why some people might not want to watch a movie that ends in a young woman’s brutal death. As much as I joke that everyone deserves a version of their favorite problematic comics death, I also know not everybody wants that, or even has a favorite comics death scene. But when it comes to Spider-Man as a story and a narrative, I do think loss is an important piece of the puzzle. Take it away, and you end up with a less meaningful and human story. So no, ultimately, as much as I love the original scene in part because it’s so painful and haunting, I don’t think you need to kill Gwen to insure a 616-esque character development and emotional journey for Peter, but I do think you need to have him suffer a loss of the same magnitude if you’re invested in keeping the character on the same or on a similar track. But those are just my personal feelings on the story, and I do feel this is a topic where personal feelings are a make or break king of deal, and that not everyone is a slut for fictional tragedy, so I think this is very much a case that’s up to personal interpretation.

Second-(Very) Best     I've already disclosed to you what is my all-time favorite television program--namely the Today show's Fourth Hour with Kathie Lee/Hoda. Now I'll spill the beans concerning what is my all-time second-favorite television program--namely the weekend Today show. Let me say here that I'm talking about the Saturday version with Sheinelle and Craig and Dylan. For whatever reason, the local NBC affiliate doesn't carry Sunday Today with Willie, opting to run local news instead.             Allow me, if you will, to detail why the Saturday Today has achieved said position.             .The show's anchors genuinely click. The folks who front the Saturday Today program really and truly jibe. When watching the show, it's impossible to miss the fact that those anchors honestly like each other, that they honestly like being with each other, and that spending time with each other, working with each other is in their minds--and in their hearts--working with sincerely close, sincerely cherished friends. An example: During one telecast a picture screen appeared with the words: "This film follows a charming news anchor as he is about to become a father for the second time." The warmth and the good feeling and the good wishes that the rest of the anchors had for Craig--who was, need it be said, the "charming news anchor" who was "about to be a father for the second time"--came flowing out of the real TV screen. Also: After Craig's child had been born, at the end of one of the Today show's de rigeur cooking segments the female anchors, who were all seated off to the left, called Craig over and, one by one, presented him with gifts to commemorate his being a second-time Dad. Craig was very visibly moved by this and, one by one, kissed all his girl colleagues. The affection, the camaraderie, the unsheathed gratitude that Craig felt toward those gals flooded the screen and made you feel closer to him--and feel closer to his female co-workers for being so considerate regarding him.             .It's the one morning show now seen, perhaps the first morning show ever, other than the weekend Good Morning America, to completely eschew having celebrity guests. The fact that the Saturday Today show wholly turns away from having celebrities as guests, for me, gives it an independence and an individuality that other morning programs, even the Kathie Lee/Hoda Today show, just don't have (True, as mentioned, the weekend GMA also entirely stays away from booking celebrities. However--and I believe I've dealt with this in the past--the byplay among the anchors on the aforementioned show has always come off as somewhat stagy, somewhat forced). And: The fact that there have never, ever been celeb guests on the Saturday Today has meant that we've had the opportunity to that much more fully savor the good looks and the charm of and the chemistry among the hosts. Those of us who have followed the Saturday Today during its run have always, always appreciated the fact that there have never, never been any "names" appearing on the program to interfere with our enjoyment of the anchors' appeal, have never, never booked any Big Stars who would impede upon the gorgeousness and the likability of the headliners.             .The hosts are impressively versatile. While our Saturday hosts are fully enjoyable and fully convincing doing the fun stuff, in point of fact, Sheinelle and Craig always convey authority and knowledgeability, not to mention maturity, when doing the news readings. And Dylan makes it abundantly clear that she wholly knows what she's talking about when she's going about her weather reports. To be able to go back and forth between free-flowing lightheartedness and mature journalistic seriousness, between ingratiating gaiety and disciplined journalistic professionalism with such unaffected ease is certainly, definitely nothing to sneeze at.               .Sheinelle Jones, Sheinelle Jones, Sheinelle Jones. This chick can unhesitantly stand with Hoda as being the best-looking, most engaging, most flat-out delectable girl host on network morning television (A very distinct demonstration of this: When she guest-hosted the Fourth Hour of Today, she filled in not for Kathie Lee but for...Hoda). For starters, her being short--she herself has revealed that she stands at 4'11"--gives her the sprightly-mite appeal of a Jada Pinkett Smith. And: Her collegiate charm and her volcanic vivaciousness have and keep you smiling all the time she's on-screen. Finally: Her easy and monolithic good-sportsmanship delightfully completes the picture. Whenever she's doing a Today segment--participating in an aquatic-sports competition with career Olympic women athletes, joining Craig in chatting with Dylan--who is currently on maternity leave--via a TV screen as to how the latter is faring being a first-time mother, partaking of an "ice castle" that this one man originally built to provide pleasure for his kids--our Sheinelle throws herself into the doings wholeheartedly, having us loving her all that much more for her unyielding spirit and her marvelously staunch refusal to be in any sense buttoned-up, her marvelously continuous rejection of any kind of pomposity.               It was the iconic cartoonist/satirist Jules Feiffer who told a Playboy Magazine Interviewer that while he was "in despair," it wasn't "the kind of despair that keeps you from having a good time on the weekend." It is the Saturday Today show that, upon tuning in, makes it absolutely, positively impossible not to have a good time during the weekend.