i love how finn always fervently denies the gay allegations against all of the characters he plays until everyone around him lets him know his character is in fact a boyliker

Soman’s failed POC and Queer rep in the SGE saga — And why criticism is essential to the movie (franchise)

[repost]

Before I start though, I’d like to say that if you have any argument about forced representation, dni. I don’t give a shit that ur faves aren’t white anymore — and please stop fucking harassing Soman and the cast about this non-issue.

Now onto the racial criticism of Soman’s work, which I don’t see talked enough about.

Being a person of colour does not mean you are exempt from racial criticism. I’m sure this is known by now, but in the books, literally everyone is white. Like EVERYONE. And not only that, the beauty standards he portrays and tries to critique (but then fails miserably at unfortunately) are so Eurocentric it’s quite disheartening actually - pale skin, small noses, coloured eyes, etc. The themes are also quite Eurocentric as well — if you had told me that the books were written by a white author, I would believe you.

Now, I’ve always given him the benefit of the doubt here, considering he was writing a middle grade series as a marginalised author, which was a lot more difficult at the time, and because he does genuinely try to improve his POC rep in the later books (even if that does include retconning character’s previous descriptions lol). In that same vein, the cast is also noticeably more diverse, and I truly applaud Soman for that. However, he has not said anything in regards to the racism the cast have been getting, which considering his influence on the fandom, would have been much appreciated. (The only casting choice he actually spent some time defending was brunette Tedros 💀💀 — like mate, get your priorities together!). Also, since whiteness is quite intrinsic to the core themes of the story (I’ll make a separate post on that later), I worry that the movie will unintentionally be pushing it. And if that’s the case, people should be allowed to critique this (hypothetical) poor depiction of race, without it being considered racist. (As previously mentioned — this excludes those fucking weirdos who just hate on the cast coz their faves aren’t white anymore 🙄🙄)

Ok so, in regards to the queer-coding/queer-baiting:

Just like being a POC doesn’t mean u can’t have internalised racism, being queer doesn’t mean u can’t have internalised homophobia, especially to other members of the community. I don’t know why exactly Soman struggles with writing queer rep so much (I mean I can understand in 2013 — but now plenty of middle grade books include queer characters), but he barely has any canon gay rep.

Tristan/Yara, who is not even specified whether they are gay or trans, is one of the first characters to die, with absolutely no resolution to their arc whatsoever - and their queerness is never mentioned again. The next confirmed queer couple are two backgrounder guys who barely have any significance to the story. The couple after that are two evil white boys, who are only confirmed to be queer after they both die. They are are the only relevant gay characters at this point — yet ofc they’re dead, white and evil. This wouldn’t be a problem if there were other (good) queer characters, but since that is not the case, it just comes off as rather… icky.

Now notice how all these couples, as poorly written as they are, are all (white) gay men? There are hints that Hester and anadil might be in a relationship, but it’s never explicitly confirmed.

In addition, sophie and Agatha are explicitly queer coded — (I made a post about it on my acc for anyone’s interested) — they even kiss!! Of course people are going to be mad that they were baited into a relationship that ended up being incesteous! Especially, ESP, considering that Agatha is now a Black girl in this adaptation. We barely see any white canon wlw couples in media — Black sapphics are almost unheard of in the mainstream, especially as leads. first kill, one show that featured a Lesbian Black girl lead (a Dark-skinned one at that!)— got cancelled. And this happens all the time. Lesbians/sapphics, esp sapphics of colour, ESP Balck sapphics are barely given any time of day in our media in favour of centring gay white men in queer narratives, and thus they have every right to be upset at the queer baiting.

I’m not Black, but as a queer woman of colour, Agatha’s character has always been very special to me. I’ve always thought she should be a POC considering how different her and her mum are from the rest of her cookie-cutter village, and queer because she did not fit into conventional notions of femininity. It would be so awesome to see Agatha, a queer woman of colour, as the lead in a high-budget fantasy series. But alas, that is too many marginalised identities for the general audience.

Not only that, the twin reveal was just plain bad writing. It had absolutely no bearing at the story whatsoever and is never mentioned again. It was just done purely for shock value, and for that, I will absolutely critique Soman.

I know that this discourse is tired and worn out — and understandably so, it’s been years. However, now that this movie is approaching mainstream — At worst, this queer baiting can already add to the whole ‘lesbian relationships aren’t serious’ and other terrible stereotypes. At best, it deprives sapphics of much needed representation in mainstream fantasy films.

Remember, unlike with the books, we as fans have the power to influence the story. If the creators see how unpopular the twist is with the public, they can probably change it. We can make a difference! Btw, this doesn’t mean sophie and Agatha should be endgame — I’d like for them to be in a short term relationship and be confirmed as canonically queer — Tagatha can still be the end couple! (Not hophie tho, coz sophie is a lesbian and I despise Hort lol).

A very young Stanley Kwan 關錦鵬 (right) directing Leslie Cheung 張國榮 (left) and Anita Mui 梅艷芳 (middle) for Rouge 胭脂扣 (1987). Kwan would win the Best Director title for the film at the Hong Kong Film Awards.

Stanley Kwan 關錦鵬 is not only a famous director from Hong Kong, but also the first well-known openly gay figure in Hong Kong entertainment. He came out of the closet in 1996 (before Leslie Cheung, who did so in 1997), in the documentary he directed for the British Film Institute named Yang ± Yin: Gender in Chinese Cinema 男生女相：華語電影之性別. His works had garnered accolades for their in-depth portrayal of female characters, at the time when women in local movies often did little more than being pretty and screaming a lot.

(Under the cut: Director Kwan's own words on one of his most famous works and a gay film classic in Chinese-language cinema, Lan Yu (2001), in 2022 after BL culture has entered mainstream)

Most BL fans know Director Kwan via his gay-themed film Lan Yu 藍宇 (2001), about the eponymous Bejing university student falling in love with a wealthy, closeted businessman, Chen Handong. The film, based on a popular online novel Beijing Story 北京故事, has remained censored in mainland China for its queer content and its mentions of the 1989 Tiananmen Massacre. Its fate of being perennially censored was never a surprise—the film was shot in Beijing in secret, with the crew pretending to be shooting commercials around the capital. Digital filming also didn't exist then, and so the 100,000 ft + of film had to be smuggled out of China later to be developed.

Lan Yu was a project about love. Of love.

The poster of Lan Yu in Cannes Film Festival (left), Hong Kong (center), Taiwan (right), at the time of its original release.

In 2022, Lan Yu celebrated its 20th anniversary with a 4K remastered version. Among the interviews of Director Kwan made for the celebration was one by The Initium 端傳媒, during which Kwan shared some of his views on Lan Yu, in the context of how public reception of queer media has changed over the years after the film's release.

These views may deviate from what some fans, especially those in BL circles, would expect. Precisely because of that, however, I'm posting them here. After all, maybe, hopefully, Kwan will collaborate with Dd (and Gg) one day. Maybe, fans like ourselves will interact with Kwan on social media spaces one day.

I hope Kwan's views will be kept in mind, considered and respected. Due to the length of the full interview **, I'm only translating the two parts that are relevant (lazy turtle here 😊):

1.

《藍宇》 雖為華語電影同志片的經典，但過去廿年，關錦鵬卻在不少訪談中提過，電影改編自當年於大陸風行一時的網絡同志小說《北京故事》，而最初他其實並不喜歡那篇小說。

「原著基本上是用偷窺角度去看一段同志關係，特別是集中描寫男體的情色關係，有很多露骨的性愛場面。作者本身是知道這些描寫會令小說受歡迎。」關錦鵬接著說：「但在拍這部電影前，我在 1996 年已經出櫃。而我覺得作為一名同志導演，就更不應該去消費這個題材，所以當我看到原著小說將情色描寫，譬如肛交、口交的過程放大，當時我便跟製片人說，如果要原封不動將小說內容拍出來，我就不做了。」

Although Lan Yu is a classic Chinese-language gay film, in many interviews in the past 20 years, Kwan has mentioned that the film was adapted from the online gay novel Beijing Story, popular in mainland China at the time, and that he actually didn't like the novel at first. "The original novel basically looks at a gay relationship from a voyeuristic point of view, especially the erotic relationship between male bodies, and there are many explicit sex scenes. The author (of the novel) himself knows that these descriptions will make the novel popular."

Kwan continued, "But before making this movie, I had been out of the closet since 1996. And I thought, as a gay director, I shouldn't exploit this subject, so when I saw the original novel expanding, zooming in on the eroticism -- the processes of anal sex and oral sex, for example -- I told the producer at the time that if the novel's content is to be filmed without changes, I won't do it.”

2. 在《藍宇》面世的年代，電影確實意識大膽。但二十年後，當電影得以重新修復，社會氛圍其實亦有了翻天覆地的轉變。近年不但多了同志題材的作品，甚至大行其道，人人消費，成為一種時令的商業元素。譬如人氣男團會拍 BL 電視劇，而過去幾年的華語電影節，最快售罄的場次，都一定是同志電影。 此情此景，在《藍宇》剛上映的年代簡直不可思議，電影當年在香港的票房談不上亮眼，普羅大眾對同性戀故事有所抗拒，而本身就是同志的觀眾，想看卻不敢購票入場，怕被旁人標籤。二十年後世界變了樣，甚至總會看到「腐女」在 BL 電影的宣傳海報前打卡拍照。關錦鵬笑說：「是呀，前陣子的確有朋友跟我說，她其實是一名腐女。腐女族群喜歡看男同志電影，但到底喜歡看什麼呢？她某程度上都承認，想看的就是身體，是兩個好看的男人身體如何做愛。」 然而，這恰恰就是他當初對執導《藍宇》有所卻步的顧慮。當同志題材今日已走入主流，變成一種受歡迎的商業元素，關錦鵬則仍然有所警惕，跟潮流保持距離：「可能有些腐女都會喜歡《藍宇》，但我想未必完全是她們那杯茶。它真正要說的是兩個男人從色情買賣演變成一段感情關係，尤其是魏紹恩替我改編劇本之後，陳捍東這個角色，在我看來不一定是男同志，而是他在藍宇身上找到一些連自己都不知道的感覺。」 但關錦鵬也承認，從好的方向去看，在 BL 作品蔚然成風的助力之下，至少令同志以及 LGBT 性少數族群，相對容易被今日的大眾主流接受：「這是令人開心的。近幾年，特別是年輕人，確實會用比較開放的態度去對待 LGBT 族群。」稍頓，關錦鵬解釋道：「換個說法，關於 LGBT 議題的重點，現在就不再放在色情之上，而更多是感情關係，甚至是性少數族群認清自己身份之後，於生活上如何面對社會。那起碼是朝著一個正確的方向。」 In the era when Lan Yu was released, the film was indeed bold in its ideology. Twenty years later, however, at the time when the film gets its restoration, the social atmosphere has actually undergone earth-shaking changes. In recent years, not only have there been more gay-themed works, they have even become very popular and consumed by all, becoming a kind of fashionable commercial element. For example, popular boyband members are willing to make BL TV dramas, and in the past few years of Chinese-speaking film festivals, the fastest sold-out shows have all been gay movies.

[Pie note: The reporter was unlikely to be referring to Gg and Dd with their mention of "popular boyband members". Instead, they were probably thinking of Edan Lo and Anson Lo from Hong Kong's local boyband MIRROR, who starred in the BL drama Ossan's Love.]  

This phenomenon is unbelievable in the era when Lan Yu was first released. The box office of the film in Hong Kong couldn't be said to be impressive. The general public resisted gay stories [Pie note: Hong Kong hadn't decriminalised homosexual relationships until 1991, 10 years before], and the audience who were gay wanted to watch it but didn't dare to purchase tickets, for fear of being labeled by others. Twenty years later, the world has changed -- BL fans can be seen photographing themselves in front of the promotional posters of BL movies.

Kwan smiled and said, "Yes, a friend told me a while ago that she's actually a "rotten woman" (Pie note: = woman BL fan, translated from the Japanese term fujoshi). The "rotten women" group likes to watch gay movies, but what do they like to watch? She admitted, to a certain extent, that it's the body. It's the body, how two good-looking men's bodies make love."

And yet, this was precisely the concern that made Kwan hesitant to direct Lan Yu at the beginning. As gay themes enter the mainstream and become a popular commercial element, Kwan has remained vigilant, and has kept his distance from the trend: "Maybe some "rotten women" enjoy Lan Yu, but I don't think (the film) is entirely their cup of tea. What the film really wanted to express was how two men evolved from a transactional sex relationship to an emotional relationship, especially after Wei Shaoen adapted the script for me. The character of Chen Handong, in my opinion, didn't necessarily have to be a gay man; instead, he found on Lan Yu a feeling that even he himself couldn't understand.”

But Kwan also admitted that, from a better perspective, with the aid of popular BL works, it has become relatively easy for gays and LGBT sexual minorities to find acceptance in today's mainstream: "This is a happy thing to see. In recent years, especially young people have indeed treated the LGBT community with a more open attitude.” After a short pause, Kwan explained: “In other words, the focus of LGBT issues is now no longer on salacity, but more on emotional relationships, and even, on how sexual minorities face society in their daily lives after recognising their (sexual) identities. At least it's moving in the right direction.”

** None of you see this footnote, but a copy of the interview without a paywall can be found here. 😊

We are not judging how bad the movie is, we are judging which adapted the book the worst. There are good movies that are bad adaptions.

Propaganda below the cut (spoilers may apply)

Animorphs:

Didn't have the budget to do literally anything the books were doing, and it shows. Also the central theme of the books wasn't even touched on.

A low-budget kids' show was absolutely the worst and most embarrassing way to adapt a semi-serialized, somewhat serious (but, y'know, in a YA way) drama about war and how it changes those who participate in it. It never goes into the ethical questions or moral issues that the original book series brings up, and the violence is toned down a lot. They just didn't have the money for the special effects you'd need for a story with so many different alien races (Taxxons, one of the main types of alien employed by the enemy yeerks, are never even mentioned!), nor for the animal training/handling for so many different species that the characters are constantly morphing into. I get that they were doing the best they could for the time and medium, but it ended up being a giant embarrassment. :(

Only one season, poorly written

Tales from Earthsea:

I don't think it could have been better, but it was just so off from from the books it was mainly drawing its inspiration from (I mean, I had no interest in seeing that weird weaver guy decide to off himself in the boat, but still).

Studio Ghibli is the perfect studio to capture the Le Guin vibe and yet Goro torched it so hard for no reason

To give credit where it is due, the film has some good settings and animation. Unfortunately, its beauty is only on the surface, and it is the worst Studio Ghibli movie I’ve seen. (I’ve seen almost all of them but Earwig and the Witch.) The plot is a collage of random bits of context from the first four books of the series, as well as its own stuff. It really is not the same story at all. I may have enjoyed it more if I had seen it as a child before reading the books, but not covering all the events exactly isn’t the only issue, it’s just worse. It takes the moral complexity and sensibility of the original and turns it into a typical fantasy war between good and evil (the Japanese title even translates to Ged’s War Chronicles) with emphasis on physical violence, in which evil is personified as a goth queer-coded villain whose death resolves everything. It completely misses the point of the books, which gives no such simple answers and is more focused on the darkness within everyone than an external battle. Where is the nuance? It also whitewashes everyone: most of the characters in the book are dark-skinned, but in the movie…

I was also bitter that they did my favourite character, Tehanu/Therru, dirty. She’s supposed to be horribly scarred and disfigured on half her body and reviled by people as a monster but in the movie she’s just a pretty girl with a red mark on her face. In the books, she doesn’t appear until the fourth book, Tehanu, which takes place after Lebannen is grown up and ruling a kindgom, and in which she is a mostly-nonverbal child. But here she’s aged up and thrown into the earlier story to give the protagonist a love interest and the film has him stay with them so it can focus on their romance. Even though a plot-relevant part of his character as well is his lack of interest in women and not settling into a relationship despite the people’s wishes.

Basically, they whitewashed, heteronormatized, macho-ified, and de-nuanced the narrative, and also took out the feminism.

On top of this, trying to cram the whole series into one movie is just not a good idea, and it would have been better to just decide on one book to adapt and do more justice. And yet they still added in so much that didn’t happen. When you have that much material to cover, you don’t have time or budget to be putting other things in, mate. Turning four books into one results both in a mess. Abridgment is one thing; taking particular aspects of different parts of the timeline and combining them in different ways is another. It doesn’t make a lot of sense. It’s in an unfortunate middle area where it doesn’t follow the source material but also doesn’t give enough context that people unfamiliar with the source understand. For Earthsea fans, it’s infuriating; for others, it’s confusing. Also, why did they name it after the fifth book, which is a short story collection that it doesn’t reference whatsoever?

The failure of the movie is upsetting because the books are sooo good. Yet, it was the highest-grossing Japanese movie of the year, and did win a couple awards… The Bunshun Kiichigo awards for “Worst Director” and “Worst Movie”.

Why I prefere 2023 Constance... and still like BBC Constance

Take in mind, I write this at a point where I have only watched BBC The Musketeers season 1 and The Three Musketeers 2023 - part 1

So I recently started watching a lot of different The Three Musketeers adaptations. And all of them have a really different approach on Constance. The one dimensional love interest to the Dinsney Princess. BBC The Musketeers and The Musketeers 2023 have choosen a way more interesting approach.

BBC The Musketeers has given Constance much more involvment in the story, changed her from "a love interested" into a woman with her own motivations, her own story, her own power.

The Three Musketeers 2023, stayed closer to the book but carefully updated Constance. 2023 is still a love interest, a damsal in distress.

So why do I prefere 2023 Constance over BBC Constance?

1. In the book D'artagnan is horny for every decent looking woman who crosses his path. He often kisses them without permission (Constance) or their knowledge (Milady). And it mostly played as a joke. When women refuse him, he never accepts that. It is potrayed as "no means yes". Both BBC and 2023 updated that. In the 2023 movie it is really well shown how D'artagnan looses every braincell everytime Constance (or any other woman) enters the room (Not that he has any in the first place). When he is around Constance he comes closer to her, comes into her personal space, heavy flirts with her, is always around her. But he NEVER never ever kisses her. When they finally kiss it is Constance who makes the first moves. It is her decision, and the kiss is a 100% build on consent. In BBC they choose anotehr approach, that was really clever imo. D'artagnan kisses Constance without consent, to hide from the people behind him (a nice wink to the book). But then gets punshed by her. So far... i like it. Now comes the bit where i struggle. The scene quickly takes a drastic turn. Suddenly our hero trambles and falls. Constance is not only helping him, but also giving him a home. Which frames the scene as: "Its not okay to kiss a woman without her permission. But if you are meant to be together... its okay." Which is so wrong and weakens the previous statement of "don't kiss women without their permission!"

2. In the books Constances husband is a comic relief. He has no real story relevance, apart from one bit, but all in all he is just dumb and disgusting. So 2023 wasn't the first adaptation to get rid of him. He was allready erased in the 2011 movie. It simplifies the story a lot and also takes away the "Constance is a cheater"-narrative. Which in the book is potrayed: "Its okay thing to do, because he is old and disgusting and dumb af. He is basically begging his wife to cheat on him." With erasing him in the 2023 movie it also gives Constance more autonomy over her own life. Makes her more independent. Which is really cool, because she makes her living on her own. In the BBC show I struggle a lot with her husband. Because he isn't an asshole, he isn't old and he isn't super dumb. He is just... there. Or most of the time, he isn't actually. He only appears to pepper in drama in the Constance/D'artagnan relationship, and is then painted as the asshole. That is weak writting imo. They can have sex in his house but then he has to magically re-appear to ruin the relationship? Come on. I think his character could have worked if they worked with him more.

3. I can understand that the BBC show wanted to have more female power among the main cast. Which is totally understandable, considering the book is completly centered around white male cis characters. The BBC made sure that half of the main cast are people of color, making sure there is a certian kind of diversity (not queer sadly). But I don't think giving a woman a gun and a sword is necessarily the definition of "empowerment". Constance being able to fight is cool, but giving her a gun and a sword isn’t "upgrading" her from a simple love interest into a powerful character. Especially when the narrative is not supporting it. On the one hand you have Constance being all bamf, but on the other hand she is introduced by inviting the guy who assaulted her into her house (D'artagnan), is then staging as a prostitute and a wet nurse. Also, so far, in season 1, she has fought with a sword once and shot a gun twice. Mostly she is reduced to a love interest. Imo the show hasn't found a good balance between "this woman is empowered because she knows how to fight" and "she is still a sexy love interest". Maybe that will change in the coming seasons, but why can't Constance stage as a horse driver or a guard or idk. Something that is not limited to her gender.

This is why I like the 2023 movie approach more. Where Constance is doing the laundry for a living but also serving the queen, acting as kind of a spy when needed. And she is good at that. She manages to do these two things simultaneously and often saves the day with her spy skills. She is still reduced to a love interest eventually of course but the show has the "she is a spy"-narrative right there (because it is already in the book) and doesn't make any use of it. Thats so confusing imo. Because it would have suited the time the show plays in her so much more, then: she can swordfight" and maybe even contributed more the story.

4. As already pointed out in point 3 BBC Constance is eventually often reduced to traditional female roles and wishes. The end of ep 7 wasn’t a big „ah she can fight so well with the sword“ but „she wants a baby from D’Artagnan“.

TL.DR: BBC Constance often feels like they wanted to show her all empowered but eventually still not knowing what to do with her character. So they gave her classic female roles again. It feels like the show is running from end end of the spectrum to the other and there is nothing in between. I really like her, I just see so much missed opportunities when I look at her character.

what do you say to rhaegar antis who support the greens and aegon ii (a canon rapist)? it seems very hypocritical to me

sorry for the late reply—it's not hypocritical. it's fairly clear to me that the person in question is a contrarian when it comes to asoiaf, as in prefers to explore stories from the POV of the characters treated as villains or even entirely ignored due to their distance from the actual narrative.

reading/rewriting stories from a separate perspective than intended to be read isn't some new invention. milton wrote paradise lost with a heavy dose of sympathy for satan in the 17th century. sometimes it's done really well (madeleine miller's circe) and sometimes it's cringe as fuck (that movie where dalmations killed cruella de vil's mom)

there is of course the ghost of rhaegar that lingers throughout asoiaf, with daenerys particularly but also with ned, barristan, tyrion, jaime, cersei, maester aemon—i'd also point out brienne's journey through the crownlands/riverlands as connected to rhaegar/targaryen legacy (for better or worse) in general—and at some point jon. lyanna similarly with a few characters like ned, arya, bran, randomly theon (it's not random it's important!!!), once again at some point jon.

there is a feeling for some that rhaegar's wife elia & their children who were murdered despicably are unfairly shafted because they have far less connection to the overall narrative/ the 'main' characters therefore reading the rhaegar and lyanna stories from the POV of elia/the dornish is more interesting or valid or good. personally i disagree, & heavily disagree with the idea that the heart of the dorne storyline is elia martell (imo it is arianne and HER unique struggles as a female heir that will hold weight on the overall story), but to each their own.

with the dance of the dragons, meh, it's extremely clear that in this conflict the greens are the side we are meant to condemn, that they represent the entropy of old ways of thinking and how they can only destroy progress, never create future. the show adaptation is tasked with bringing nuance into this story to make it compelling. for some watchers what they've been presented with is enough for them to least argue that the greens have a fair point and should be heard out. once again to each their own.

nuance is ofc crucial to analysis. as a rhaegar enjoyer myself i don't think him innocent in the start of robert's rebellion as much as 'motivated by the information he had at the time, he took a calculated risk only for the stakes to become drastically different through a series of events not foreseeable by anyone.' ironically i think reading rhaegar from the center of elia/dorne erases some of the nuance actually important to the plot, because it's simply not relevant from that particular POV. i'd say the same if we are looking at arianne's queenmaker plot through the lens of myrcella, or heaven forbid, CERSEI

as for the greens i just personally don't care enough about the story to care about the bad guy's feelings lol. it's prologue. within that, aegon ii, to me, is a detestable misogynist who violently murders his sister rhaenyra and tortures baela. that's enough, thanks, check please! from the outside i will say this: it's interesting to me that the characters who receive "nuance" are the characters who act in ways that preserve the social order, rather than those who disrupt it. look at laenor! does he deserve a nuanced analysis considering he's one of the only exampled we get of a queer character navigating a heteropatriarchy? when he (hotd version) abandons his family despite displaying love for them, can we reasonably understand that being forced to live in close quarters with criston cole, the murderer of laenor's lover joffrey lonmouth, causes him to snap? is it popularly argued that rhaenyra having 3 children with harwin is as much a result of rhaenyra's desperation/desire for agency as it is laenor's depression? laenor is not a main character and he's also not a pretty white woman but if we are doing contrarian readings... yfm? ok cool. that's all i got

DC HATES And Disrespects Superman

In contrast, they really REALLY want Supergirl to be relevant, to supplant him. Despite her just being a gimmick, a seasonal DLC. Every attempt to try to push her ends in a wet fizzle. Everytime.She's one of the most underwhelming characters in DC but WB can't keep her out of their mouths like she's deep or some shit. They'd sooner give us a "woman of tomorrow" movie than give Cassandra Cain or Jason, or Sodam Yat any time of the day.WE STILL haven't gotten Superboy Prime in a show, or a Starfire movie. Make that make sense to me. So on top of all of that, yea, they're going to neglect a superhero who represents the best of humanity, in an era where humanity is going to shit. And try their damnest to push the knockoff who in theory represents the same thing, just minus any authenticity because again, she's sloppy seconds, badly coped homework that the teacher wouldn't grade because it's so shitty. MOS was a mess, My Adventures with Lois-Chan was a fucking embarrassment. A rushed, wholesome piece of shit, New 52 with a side of Tumblr,  & some cameos because it can't stand on it's own two feet for obvious reasons, it's incompetent and it's garbage. *Just watch The Animated Series.* Superman & Lois, Smallville were decent. Red Son was trash. Injustice was a wet blanket. Somehow, the movie in some ways less insufferable than the comics. DCAMU had so much potential, and ended too soon. This new DC animated movie verse was basically non-existent for me, i don't give two shits. That man of tomorrow movie was a feverdream, the script had 3 things going on, didn't know what it wanted to be. Superman Returns is tricky, him leaving like that is out of character but the movie itself is more Superman than anything we've gotten since. As of 2024 *The most solid depiction of Superman in post 2000 DC, on-screen is the DCAU version.* The biggest issues there are the nerfs, but as for characterization? DCAU Timmverse pulled it off. Cause they definitely amped up his powerlevels as the seasons went on. Superman FOR TOMORROW by Lee & Azzarello. Good read. Also deals with Supes in a modern world where the old school boyscout shit doesn't always work. DC doesn't know what to do with Superman atm, because they forgot the point of Superman. Superboy prime was one of the earlier evil superman takes that worked because he was supposed to be a contradiction, a hypocrite, a glitch in the matrix. He should've been gotten a role as a game boss or something, surprised DCUO hasn't already done it, they're pushing Supergirl because they forgot that they have Superman already, you literally do not need her when Superman exists. They're trying to trivialize him by making him evil 24/7 and replace him with Kara BORE-EL or PowerTits, and no matter how hard they try and have been trying the past 10 years to do it. She'll never replace him. Never. She doesn't have the ability, and never will. She's a party trick. He's the ideal, the blueprint of modern superheroes. DC needs to remember that, they need to remember that they have THE Ultimate Superhero in their possession (until he's public domain & they might buy him again) So they need to put her lame ass to rest, and give love to better characters. Some of them queer, some of them not even humanoid. All they need to do to make Superman work, is just put him in a situation (like war world) where he's deprived of every reason to hope and through sheer will provide hope to the prisoners by never giving up. Like Gladiator but with Superpowers, Superman fighting his way back home, intergalactic action. OR? Just adapting the recent "UP IN THE SKY" story, that as a movie would be a narrative masterpiece for Supes, because that book perfectly embodies Superman. Perfectly. A race with Flash, time travel, inter-galactic battles, Superman going through hell to save one little girl, a serious question of how much one child's life is worth vs the rest of humanity- it's a good story. That is what should be a movie, that movie would fix the DC Superman problem, not entirely but it would be a reset, a needed reset.

Barbie Movies That Are More Relevant Than You Think

1. Barbie’s Princess and the Pauper 

> The Big Thing: Shows a realistic representation of 1st world problems and 3rd world Problems coexisting. Annalise is a princess in an arranged marraige and Erika is an indentured servent, both looking to esacpe, but are determined to overcome these issues. They acknowledge that they have differerent problems but are both struggling in their own right. It’s important to know that they don’t wish they were someone else, they just wish they could escape their personal struggles. 

> Women supporting women! 

> Female Leads that are friends and aren’t catty towards each other 

> Annalise and Erika talk about things other than boys, althrough an arranged marraige is a plot point and all boy talk is really about that particular plot point. 

> “Duty is doing the things your heart may well regret” is the most badass line in exsitance, okay? 

> The Princess loved science. 

2. Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princessess 

> The Big Thing: This story is about extremism and the dangers of a binary system. In this case, it’s Law vs Chaos, and unregulated freedom of expression vs overregulated conformity. The 12 are unruly and chaotic and uncaring about their royal status which causes strain on the kingdom and they are super unprepared for royal life. The antagonist comes in, strips the color and the fun and is all rules and control and is trying to teach them how to be “proper ladies” which is also done in an extreme. Neither of these are right, and in the end the girls use their unique interests to save their father, and they acknowledge they should behave better and be prepared for royal life. They essentially find their middle way. 

> Realistic siblings. No one calls the other “sister” 

> Lacy, the frail sister, is never treated poorly by her sisters despite the fact she causes a few issues in the plot. Super supportive sisters. 

> LI isn’t a prince. He’s a shoemaker. 

> There’s an assassination attempt in this one! It technically succeeds. Really good show on adult topics in a children’s movie. 

> Power and Corruption are thematic here with the villain. 

3. Barbie’s Mariposa

> The Big Thing: This one is about destorying an entire society for personal gain and power. If you’re American, you’d understand why THIS is super relevant. The queen is bring poisoned and is the life source for all the lights, and those lights are what protect faeries from the monsters in the dark. The Big Bad Guy plans to take the throne with these monsters as her minions, promising them they can eat faeries. She will destory this land to gain the throne, and she doesn’t care who dies along the way. 

> Has a Cinderella vibe to it. Good rendition 

> Two First World Entittled rich faries are humbled through the journey, and learn to be king and selfless despite starting with selfish intentions. GROWTH. 

> Skeezite is a funny word. 

> ACCENTS. I think they’re all Spanish, but can’t confirm. The only Barbie movie that didn’t do British Accents, I’m pretty sure. Vocal Diversity is 10/10 

4. Barbie Fairytopia Series 

> The Big Thing: DISABILITY IN A FANTASY WORLD DONE WELL. Like holy shit the plot is the Big Bad is commiting bio-terrorism by poisoning the air that affects all faeries except for Elina because she was born without wings. DISABILITY BECOMING THE ONLY THING THAT CAN SAVE YOU. YES. She does  get wings at the end, but I always saw it as a prostetic because if she lost her necklace she lost her wings. And in a later movie she has to trade them away to save someone. 

> Bibble is valid 

> This series does the “girl who doesn’t fit in” trope well because Elina is constantly seen as the girl who doesn’t fit in. In the first movie she’s the girl without wings, in the second she’s the faerie, not a mermaid (Nori gets mean towards her because the mermaid prince wanted a fairy to save him or someting like that), and in the last one, I’m pretty sure she’s sort of regarded as the charity case. I can’t remember exactly, so don’t quote me. Either way, Elina is the most relateable Barbie character for people who struggle fitting in wherever they go because Elina never fits in at first (but it’s a barbie movie, so you know, acceptance and stuff) 

> This marks the third movie on this list with an assassination attempt for power. Power #Corrupts 

> Good overcoming narrative. Elina survives all her trials towards being accepted in society. 

5. Barbie as the Island Princess

> The Big Thing: This one is tricky because Barbie is a white character, and that is a valid critique for this one. However, the topic is handled well despite this fault due to the movie’s context. This one is about a status quo society and their treatment towards a different “Cultural” upbringing. Ro grew up on an island alone outside of society and talks to animals. She has an entire different set of values and beliefs. Her curiosity sets her off into a populated civilzation and a big part of the movie is the Prince Character making genuine efforts to help her adapt and make her comfortable for what she is used to, and the rest of the society relegating her to a barbarian. She struggles trying to fit in to a society that wants her to adapt to their society, but refuses to make any adaptions to hers. Her not being from there is eventually what saves the day, which is a healthy message that differnet people learn the world differnetly, and these cultures can meet and interact and help each other without forcing one to obliterate itself. Ro doesn’t stay in that society. She goes off sailing with the prince character, a happy medium from her island roots and desire to be around other people. 

> ANOTHER assassination attempt. 

> Big Bad has a daughter she’s trying to marry to the Prince, but the daughter doesn’t love him and is happy that he finds love. she and Ro are friends. 10/10 Women supporting women. 

> Ro’s cultural roots are celebrated a lot. It’s nice! 

> Prince never puts Ro in a corner to change, from what I remember. He guides her through what she’s willing to do, and helps accomidate her with that makes her uncomfortable (sleeps in the greenhouse,for example). 10/10 m8

6. Barbie and the Diamond Castle

> The Big Thing: The catalyst of this movie is Liana and Alexa’s lively hood being destoryed by a storm, and now homeless and jobless, they end up questing with a magic mirror to save Melody and the other trapped Muses. Alexa is hesitant and even gives up to stay in a Lotus Casino type place because there’s food and shelter there. There’s a heavy value on having enough to eat, and having a place to live. Displacement and poverty, I guess is the right word for this. 

> Okay so I heard around that Alexa and Liana are queer coded based on their dress colors in the final scene matching the Lesbian and Bisexual Flag and I stan that because honestly, Barbie need some gay. 

> The Will Sing For Food scene hits differently than any other scene in Barbie Movies. It’s just such a real thing. 

7. Barbie and the Three Musketeers 

> The Big Thing: Sexsim. This one is very on the nose of “women can’t do this.” and then Barbie adn Co proves them wrong!! 

> I am pretty sure there are SEVERAL assasination attempts in this one. 

> “Release the Fireworks!!” is carved into my mind. 

> The Master Trainer is an old lady maid. Cool trope subversion. 

Honestly, people who cry about adult themes in their kids movies need to watch these movies. Did you notice how many ASSASSINATIONS happen in these movies? SO MUCH ASSASSINATION. 

These movies are deeper and more complex than given credit for. I can admit that Barbie’s early movies didn’t do great with racial representation, but we can also praise them for accomplishing their aim of empowering young girls as much as they did. 

I can’t say much for mordern Barbie since that’s not my era. Perhaps someone else can comment about that better than I can. 

TL;DR: Barbie movies deal with adult themes in a child friendly setting and they are well done and you should go watch them and see how much deeper and complex these movies can be. 

A Barbie Movie I DO NOT STAN: Princess and the Pop Star. That movie is “Two whiny girls hate their privlaged life and wish they were someone else’s privlaged life and I guess help the poor” It’s not good. You can enjoy the bops it produced, but that movie is INSANELY Problomatic. 

Isak season rankings (so far)

I’ve seen people doing this, and while we wait for SKAM Austin to get renewed 🤞 I thought I’d rank the Isak seasons that are out so far, according to my personal preference. People who wanted to read my Matteo and Cris meta, this is the very short version of it. 

Warning: I am super critical in this ranking. If you’d rather read only compliments, don’t click the Read More. 

SKAM s3 – Isak: I don’t consider myself a Skam supremacist or whatever the term in vogue is these days. There are many things about Skam that I’m not happy with. I wasn’t really into the idea of the remakes at first, but when they started coming out I hoped that some of the stuff I had issues with in Skam was handled better in the remakes. That said… I never had issues with season 3. I think it’s as perfect a TV season as it can get. The writing, the acting, the music, the cinematography… Everything has a reason for being there and nothing got unresolved. I don’t feel Isak’s season needs “fixing.” A good remake of Isak’s season, for me, is one that takes what Skam did and flips it and does entirely different things with it, not one that aims to tell the same story with cosmetic changes here and there.

DRUCK s3 – Matteo: I’m not sure if Matteo’s season would be as high for me personally if it weren’t for David, tbh! I fell in love with David before I even knew his name was David. My main issues with Druck s3 are these: Druck put a lot of effort in adapting the original storyline to David and Matteo’s personalities, but I don’t see the same effort with the internalized homophobia storyline. I don’t think the writing is consistent there. I also didn’t like the way they hinted at Matteo having a MI, but never committed to it. In fact, I’m not even sure the writers think Matteo has a MI? When the writers have done interviews they’ve talked of Matteo as a “slacker-type” character, not a character with mental health issues. I also have really mixed emotions about the way David’s outing clip was scripted and shot. But overall I had so much fun watching the season, I love David, I love David and Matteo together, and I love a lot of the musical moments. And honestly, it’s amazing that the writers decided David’s movie was going to be Only Lovers Left Alive, built the whole character around that idea, and that single trait explains so much about how David views himself, Matteo and the world.

SKAM España s2 – Cris: If it weren’t for David’s existence, Cris’ season would have the second spot. My issues with Cris’ season are that I feel like the writers had a much firmer hand when adapting Eva’s season. With Eva, they seemed more confident about getting rid of iconic moments or putting their own spin on them. With Cris, I felt like the criticisms they got in Eva’s season about getting rid of iconic moments made them try and include them even when they didn’t make sense for Cris and Joana. I’m thinking specifically of using 21:21and the pool scene, which had no significance for Cris or Joana’s characters. I also thoroughly hate Lucas getting hate crimed, and yes, it was handled better than in other remakes, but still. I’m from Spain, so yes, I’m aware of the cultural reasons for doing it, and I still think it was unnecessary on every level. (I’ll probably write something longer on this, because I do want to get into the ~cultural reasons,~ but not right now.) The music isn’t amazing because the music licensing costs in Spain are more expensive, but it does affect my overall enjoyment when the use of music was one of the things I loved about Skam. I also think Skam España tried to keep every fandom satisfied, which led to a more scattered season. (That said, compared to Skam’s Sana season, the POV was tight as fuck.) I don’t like that Cris and Joana didn’t have a sex scene. I understand that Irene was a minor at the time, but it doesn’t make up for the fact that Skam and Druck delivered extremely beautiful, non objectified sex scenes, and Skam España didn’t. Now, for the good: aside from the moments I mentioned, Cris and Joana were fully their own characters, Cris isn’t Isak and had her own struggles and character flaws she had to overcome, same for Joana. Cris and Amira’s friendship is everything, and considering how other remakes have handled friendships between a LGBTI character and a character of color, it’s almost enough to declare Skam España the holy grail of remakes. Also, one of the reasons it’s sad that the focus on the girl squad moves to the boy squad for Isak’s season is that the squad is at its most supportive and loving of the main in Isak’s season. By contrast, Eva, Noora and Sana’s seasons are full of betrayal and infighting. It was really so gratifying to get to see the girl squad support and love Cris. I also really liked that it was almost two queer seasons in one, with Cris and Lucas having their own journeys on Youtube and the episodes, which sometimes converged. I also loved the exploration of Viri’s character. Loved the borderline PD awareness content on instagram, for me the only valid use of Minutt for Minutt by a remake. I’m aware of the elephant in the room I’m not mentioning, but I feel like if it hadn’t been for the actors going wild on social media, that scene would have been a non event. Which brings me to…

SKAM Italia s2 – Martino: I really liked Eva Brighi’s season and I was really looking forward to Skam Italia’s take on Isak’s season. I really liked Martino in season 1. Martino’s season opened with a very powerful, factual voiceover of queer Italian people calling into a helpline to set the tableau of what it means to be queer in Italy. And then… it just got off the rails, man. Now, I did finish season 2 (racial slur and all), but I’m not sure I would have if it hadn’t been the first remake of Isak’s season. First off, they switched the order of the seasons, but instead of doing their due diligence and keep developing the Eleonora and Edoardo relationship (like Skam España did), they simply sent Eleonora to the cornfield to avoid having to deal with it. Second, the Skam España writers forced a few Isak and Even elements on Cris and Joana that didn’t fit them… Bessegato forced plenty more elements that didn’t have any relevance to Martino and Niccoló onto them. The obvious network interference when it came to Martino and Niccolò’s intimate scenes. And when I say intimate, I don’t mean sexy sex sex scenes, I mean the scenes that in Skam were Isak and Even existing in their own bubble. In Skam Italia, these scenes were intruded upon by the boy squad again and again. I’m not sure whether the Skam Italia fandom realizes that the reason the Italian boy squad is so loved is because they had a much larger role in Martino’s season that infringed on Martino and Niccolò’s dynamic. Anyway, I thought the boy squad was gross, honestly. The way the volleyball scene was shot was less about Martino’s discomfort and more about close up shots of a 14-year old actress’ sweaty butt and crotch. And for my money, I can’t understand why keeping Francesco Centorame meant they absolutely couldn’t cast an actor of color to play Luca. People talk about wtFOCK using certain tropes for shock value, but can we talk about the way Skam Italia had Niccolò literally run around Milan naked and giggling for the viewer to see? It appears that Skam was too tactful only giving us a glimpse of Even’s bare ass leaving the hotel room. We really needed to sensationalize the whole event, or otherwise it would fly over our heads how serious Niccolò’s crisis was. And Bessegato’s instagram tantrum when called out on Niccolò randomly dropping a racial slur mid-conversation was just the cherry on top. Oh, and I also hated the inclusion of Martino’s mom, but that’s more personal, so I’ll leave it at me having an issue with that decision because of hugely personal reasons I won’t go into. (Edit: I forgot to say that Filippo’s Pride speech is one of the best remakes of that scene, if not the best so far.)

Didn’t finish:

SKAM France s3 – Lucas: Okay, so here’s my Skam France story. Unlike a not small part of the fandom, I did watch s1 shortly after it came out. Now, I love Eva and Isak on Skam, they are two of my very favorites. I didn’t like Emma or Lucas. However, I love Jonas Vasquez and I felt like Yann was the only phase 1 remake Jonas that really did Jonas V justice. Not Jonas A, not Giovanni G, not Marlon F. Yann. So I came into s3 not very interested in Lucas (or Eliott to be completely honest), but fully pumped to see my boy Yann be the supportive friend Jonas had been in Skam and Yann had been in s1 and s2. Folks… I ragequit Skam France the moment Yann abandoned Lucas in that bench. And yeah, it can be argued that, while they used that moment for shock value, they stuck the landing. I personally disagree, the damage was done there, but it can be argued. Anyway, that was the end of episode 6, and by then I knew I didn’t vibe with Lucas (hadn’t liked him since s1 as aforementioned), Eliott had done nothing to get me onboard, couldn’t care less about the girl squad being forced into the season through network mandate, hated Basile and the Daphné/Basile storyline, and was bored as hell of people fawning over Arthur when the character was as lacking in substance as Mahdi, but fandom never went crazy over Mahdi in the same way (fun fact! Despite Skam fandom being much larger than any remake fandom, there were never essays about how great Sacha’s acting was, how carefully constructed his character, there weren’t people fighting for Mahdi-related usernames… I could go on). I simply can’t understand how the writers came up with the whole Polaris thing and then dropped it entirely after episode 4, and didn’t bother coming up with a twist on that motif. (You know, like the R+J and Pretty Woman twist, or how Druck used the vampire motif, or how Skam España used the Dangerous Liaisons motif throughout the season.) Like… Instead of using an existing piece of media, they created one tailored to what they wanted to do, but they didn’t follow through with it? Almost completely wasted the potential of the Lucas/light/darkness symbolism/motif. And, as I’ve mentioned with Skam España, I realize that the music licensing costs for France are astronomical, but again it does affect my overall enjoyment of the show, and the piano music didn’t make up for it.

wtFOCK s3 — Robbe: I gave Skam France six episodes before I quit. By the middle of week 2 of wtfock I was already checked out. The decision to delay Sander’s intro just completely ruined the pacing and anticipation for me. The lack of a tight POV was another nail in the coffin. How utterly loathsome Moyo and Jens were in that first week and a half was another factor. The way they resolved the issue of Milan leaning in for the kiss with Robbe was yet another. The wtfock characters having no nuance (most of them have one character trait, the most any of them have is three) was another. Initially I quit watching because I thought I’d write episode by episode posts, and I wanted to keep my reactions fresh. So I just read the transcripts. And every single thing I read in those transcripts only served to prove I was right in dropping it.  But here’s one thing I liked! I liked the blurring of the fourth wall with the spray painting of the garbage truck and the garbage truck servicing Antwerp at the time the season aired. (I could draw a parallel between the garbage truck being the first motif the season deployed, and how the rest of the season turned out, and... well, I guess I just did.)

an author meme because @viletorpedo tagged me and I think we may have descended into a vicious author meme tagging cycle

Author Name: MaryPSue. My ffn is different, but also now defunct, so I don't see much purpose in putting that username here. This was a username I chose when I first signed up for tumblr back in 2011, based on a whim and the main character of a parody webcomic I was considering making. (It never came to fruition.) 

Fun fact: the 'P' doesn't stand for anything and is really just there for aesthetic purposes, though it has variously been used as an initial for Perfect, Pitch, and Perdita depending on context and circumstance.

Fandoms You Write For: Anything moderately popular which has either a dead kid as the main character, a fraught central sibling relationship, a female character Cursed With Awesome, or all of the above. Probably best known for stuff for Gravity Falls (and Gravity Falls Transcendence AU) and Rise of the Guardians/Guardians of Childhood fandoms, though I'm currently exercising my right to be the most basic of fandom bitches by primarily pouring my energy into canons where Tom Hiddleston portrays a dark-haired woobie who thinks of nothing but murder all day. (I know there's got to still be at least a ghost of a Crimson Peak fandom out there somewhere, dammit.)

Where You Post: Here, and AO3. Most things end up in both places, though I don't know what tumblr's policies re: links and the main search are anymore so often there isn't an AO3 link included on my tumblr fic posts.

Most Popular One-shot: By kudos, that'd have to be...A Semi-Normal Life (Gravity Falls, Transcendence AU)! I didn’t expect this one. 

Most Popular Multi-chapter Story: Again going by kudos, Raising Stakes (Gravity Falls). 

Favourite Story You Wrote: Picking just one is very hard, but I'm going to put in a good word, at this close date to Halloween, for Samhain (Rise of the Guardians, Guardians of Childhood). You don't need any familiarity with the source material to read this one; it's a ghost story and a romance and a tragedy with what is arguably a happy ending. Well, a happy ending for a ghost story.

Story You Were Nervous To Post: Definitely all of them, though I'll admit to a particular anxiety about posting others (MCU, Thor). Partly because the last thing I'd posted had not been working out on the writing end and I had to take it down because I was so unhappy with it (something I'd only done once before in my entire fic career) and I was completely unable to tell whether this was any better; partly because of the subject matter; partly simply because I have avoided a good 90% of all the MCU movies, especially the crossover-y Avengers ones, and so did not have the level of knowledge of canon that I like to have before posting things so I can be sure I haven't got simple details wrong. (Changing things deliberately from canon is one thing. Not knowing a thing which might turn out to have bearing on a fic is quite another.)

How Do You Choose Your Titles: Sometimes they're a bad pun that's relevant to the plot, premise, or themes of the story; sometimes they're stolen song lyrics or snippets of poetry; and recently I've caved and just started giving my silly working titles to oneshots, or titling them like episodes of Friends. (The SPN/MCU Thor crossover that I ended up taking down got the positively insipid and overused, if extremely relevant, Lana Del Rey lyric title 'gods & monsters' when I posted it, but the working title and probably the title I should have actually given it was 'oh whats THIS hot topic clearance bin nonsense now'.)

Do You Outline: Sort of.

Complete: 118 works and counting!

In Progress: Something Borrowed, Something Blues (Gravity Falls, Transcendence AU) and Imbalance (The Adventure Zone: Balance).

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: I'm sitting on a Crimson Peak/Haunting of Hill House (the novel, not any of the adaptations) crossover for Halloween that I'm really excited to share. I'm really thrilled with how it's turned out! It's a little experimental, a little romantic, a little queer, and hopefully a lot creepy.

Other than that, I've got a couple of continuations of things sitting in Drafts Limbo (there is some kind of ending in the works for The Family Business, though I have no idea how long it'll take to get there, and I have a host of ideas but no solid plot for what happens next in Girls In White Dresses), and some things I haven't shared because I'm not sure they're finished or that there's an audience for them or that they wouldn't be better off with the serial numbers filed off (a series of casefics where Dean Winchester gets cursed into a female body and is Not Particularly Happy About It At All, a definitely very hilarious probably non-canon-compliant oneshot where Darcy Lewis starts to suspect her new roommate is the supervillain of the week in disguise), but mostly my ideas lately have tended towards origfic. (Please. I have so many ideas and so many OCs for origfic. Help me.)

Do You Accept Prompts: Only if I announce I'm taking prompts on this blog. It does happen, though not as often as it used to.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited To Write: Hm. Well, right now I'm juggling ideas for two or three silly romance novels: one that's a thinly-veiled Mystery Trio AU featuring incubi; one where a burnt-out author of paranormal romances goes on vacation and ends up having to solve a murder that looks like it was committed by a werewolf to clear her name; and one that's a Hallmark seasonal romance movie for Halloween, where a high-powered marketing director comes home and ends up getting involved in the effort to save an old inn, which turns out to be haunted by an amorous ghost.

I've also got a couple of Stephen King-esque horror stories set in small rural towns that prominently feature flashbacks, and one mystery/thriller in the vein of definitely not bfu rpf where I've deliberately badly filed the serial numbers off the MCU's stable of actors to look at what happens when a megacorporation decides that its contracts should give it absolute control, not only of its actors' bodies, but also their minds. (That sounds...so serious and meaningful when I put it like that. Don't be fooled, it's 100% an excuse to reimagine the Avengers as a bunch of competent women who are actually friends, and also do that 'what if actors started becoming their characters' thing that's always fascinated me, with a side of social commentary blatantly tacked on.)

But...no real plans to write anything that's going to get posted anytime soon, sorry. Unless y'all are particularly interested in my original fiction.

Tagging: @gretchensinister, @pingnova, @seiya234, and anyone else who I didn't tag the first time I think this came around and who wants to do it.

Best of the Best Media Consumed 2019!

This year I had a whole lot of focus on nonfiction, film and comics. Resolution for next year: read more fiction. Seriously, I read over three times more nonfiction than fiction this year. I read a little over one novel a month. But I really do love picking up a book on something I know nothing about and coming away knowing more than something. X-P

Anyway! The list!

Books - Fiction

Out of the 17 works of fiction I read this year, the best of the best is...

The Snow Queen, by Joan Vinge

The Snow Queen was one of my absolute favorite fairy tales as a child. The 2002 film adaptation of it was one of the things I watched endlessly. 

It was SO MUCH FUN picking apart this sci-fi retelling and discovering which characters are meant to represent the ones from the original story (of particular interest: the character representing the reindeer is human in this...and he has a one night stand with the character representing Gerta. Yes, I’m still cracking up about this. Yes, it actually was a pretty well written scene). 

But the absolute best part of it was the masterful characterization. Every single character has ulterior motives and often heartbreaking reasons for why they are the way they are - especially including the Snow Queen herself, whose final scene is horrifying, tragic and beautiful. 

I always like me some solid villain characterization.

Runner Up:

Fairy Tales: Traditional Stories Retold for Gay Men

I am not a gay man...but this very much spoke to me. It was at turns heartwarming and hilarious and the turns these fairy tales took felt so natural, like they’d been told that way all along. 

There are also many allusions to AIDS in the stories - sometimes as something a character is directly dealing with whether in himself, or a loved one and sometimes under the guise of a metaphor for inevitability. These ones were my favorites (aside from The Frog Prince, which was turned into a metaphor for accepting the process of aging with grace). 

Books - Nonfiction

Oh boy. There’s...definitely going to be more than one here. Of the 65 works of nonfiction I read this year, my favorites were...

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes & Other Lessons From the Crematory

A memoir about the author’s time spent working as a crematory operator and her entry into the funeral business. This book was absolutely hilarious (it contains a story about the author getting absolutely soaked with corpse fat that wouldn’t stop flowing straight out of the incinerator), tragic (a 12 year old girl is cremated and her ashes are mailed back to her parents as part of a cremation mail-in program) and extremely poignant (the author talks openly about the time she was contemplating suicide). 

I love Caitlin’s youtube channel and I loved this book even more.

My Age of Anxiety

Partially the memoir of a man who has battled his extreme anxiety his entire life, a historical study of famous figures who have also endured it and a scientific look into why it exists at all. 

Ultimately, it offers no answers. As of the writing of the book, the author has found no treatment that helps him for longer than a few months. But what he has found over the course of his research is that he is not alone - that anxiety has historically been a factor in scientific breakthroughs and artistic accomplishments. And that perhaps most importantly, that anxiety has been a key part of human evolution from the start, which served a vital role in the survival of the species. 

Mental illness or evolutionary adaptation? Is there even a line between them?

Cassell’s Encyclopedia of Queer Myth, Symbol and Spirit

This is the only book, period, devoted to queer mythology, that I have ever been able to find. But the good news is that it’s fairly extensive (though the authors themselves admit that they had trouble finding as much information about non-western mythology as they did for western mythology), is chock full of references and is extremely thorough in the information it presents. 

I’ll admit that it was a slog to get through at times, but what it’s provided has been invaluable to my conception of history and my own place in it. 

Also, I can now say beyond a shadow of a doubt that almost every culture on earth has at some point in their history had a tradition of transgender shamans.

Hope After Faith

This is the memoir of a charismatic Pentecostal pastor turned atheist. It follows him from teenagerhood and the beginnings of his dream to be a preacher to a little bit after his deconversion decades later. 

The eventual crumbling of his faith was something that spoke to me on a deep level. The scene that I still think about months later is the one in which he finally gives up his belief in the afterlife and accepts the finality of death by saying goodbye to everyone he ever loved who has died with the words “I love you, but I’m never going to see you again.”

I was not a huge fan of the writing style at first, but this one won me over totally and completely. It touched me immensely at the time when I needed it most.

Comics - Fiction

I read 52 fictional comics this year and 46 nonfiction. I absolutely raided my library’s graphic novel section for months. It was a good time.

Beautiful Darkness

A French graphic novel wherein tiny people survive and feud over the corpse of the child they came from. It’s...hard to explain. Kind of a fairy tale Lord of the Flies, but more subtly horrifying. It’s a story about decay and collapse - of society, of the physical form, of the dreams of a child. It has no single interpretation and different people may take something very different from it. The most inventive horror story I read this year.

My Brother’s Husband

A story about microaggressions and how their buildup over time can drive a wedge between people without them even noticing. I cried. Go read it.

Mis(h)adra

A semi autobiographical account of a college student learning how to live with his epilepsy. I also cried over this one. 

The art is stunning, the metaphors are amazing (the main character’s epilepsy is visually portrayed as a set of ghostly knives that follow him around) and the ending is extremely affecting if you’ve ever dealt with any kind of chronic illness. 

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba

The absolute most fun I had reading a comic this year. Gets extremely dark and incredibly sad but never feels overwhelmingly heavy, thanks to its great sense of humor. 

Edward Scissorhands: Parts Unknown + Whole Again

A series of adventures set decades after the movie, after Kim’s death, in a time when her granddaughter begins wondering if the stories about the castle on the hill are true. 

It deals with such issues as the difficulties Kim had with her daughter growing up, when all she would do is tell stories about Edward rather than give her the emotional support she needed, whether removing the thing that both makes you unique and brings pain is worth it and how to stop angry villagers from burning down your house (again). 

Also, seeing Edward be surrounded by a group of friends who care about him was extremely healing.

Comics - Nonfiction

My Solo Exchange Diary vol 1-2

A series of updates about the author’s continuing battle with mental illness and about how recovery is anything but a straight line. 

Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant?

Finally, some light reading!

It’s a memoir about the decline and death of the author’s aging parents. 

I found it...extremely comforting. Extreme old age, whether in one’s self or in one’s loved ones, is a scary and often obscured prospect, despite being a near-universal human experience. This book took the mystery out of aging and the fear out of taking care of aging parents. I’ve seen it done now. I’m more ready to do it myself.

The Best We Could Do

A memoir of the author’s family’s flight from Vietnam and their immigration to America, through the lens of the birth of the author’s first child. About how being a refugee changes a person in small, often unexpected ways, how trauma leaves its mark on families - and how, knowing all this, one can still keep living and raising the next generation.

Film - Fiction

I caught up on a lot of classics I’d not seen before and really got into Jidaigeki this year. Me putting only four of them on the list is a show of restraint. Of the 64 films I watched this year...

The Fall of the House of Usher 

Impeccable costume and psychedelic set design. The unanswered question that bounces throughout the entire movie: is it the curse or is it the fault of human belief in the curse?

Patch your walls, dude.

A Monster With a Thousand Heads 

A Mexican thriller about a woman whose husband is denied cancer treatment for seemingly no reason. The doctor gives her the runaround. No one can answer her questions. No one listens to her.

So, naturally, she and her teenage son spend a night kidnapping and holding at gunpoint every person she needs to get her husband’s cancer treatment approved. Wild and intense and timely.

Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

I watched a couple of Kubrick movies I hadn’t seen before and of them...I died laughing at this one. The tight plotting! The inevitable buildup to disaster over something so insanely stupid! 

I did not live during the Cold War, but damn do I feel for the inherent ridiculousness of it now.

Seven Samurai

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAFGFTRTRNHUKIJUHNJNHHHHHHHHHHHHYHYHYHYHYHYHYHYHYXCVVGGERDSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

...this movie is insanely good. I watched Citizen Kane this year. This movie’s better. 

It has a plot which can be described in its totality, in a single sentence - a group of samurai are hired to defend a village from bandits - but what they do with that premise is so much more than that. 

This movie is three hours long. It did not lag once. 

Hara Kiri

As the Tokugawas secure their grip on all of Japan, war ceases. Great houses are dissolved and their retainers, cast into the streets. The relevance of the samurai is ending and the cities are awash in starving ronin. 

Once, one of these starving ronin approached a great house, asking if he might be able to end his life honorably, in front of witnesses there. So impressed was the lord with this ronin’s resolve, that he instead hired him on as one of his retainers. 

Hearing this story, other ronin, having no intention of actually offing themselves, tried the same trick in the hopes of securing a job, or at the very least, a little something to eat. 

It became a common scam which, in the end, fooled no one. Most houses gave the ronin a handful of cash and sent them on their way. 

But one house, seeking to preserve their warlike spirit in these peaceful times, chooses to treat one beggar ronin very differently. 

This is the story of vengeance taken for that death.

Yojimbo

A ronin enters a town that is being torn apart by gang warfare and decides to play both sides in order to end the conflict. It contains such comedic gems as:

 - the ronin suddenly deciding not to take part in a street battle, leaving both sides evenly matched and extremely nervous about fighting each other, while he watches it all from the top of a watchtower, laughing his ass off

 - the ronin is critically injured and being smuggled out of town in a coffin. A fight breaks out while this is happening and scares away one of the people carrying the coffin. A less intelligent goon of the gang he just escaped from is cheerfully recruited to carry the coffin the rest of the way

 - standing up in the coffin, declaring that he’s fine and immediately fainting

Also, you should totally bring a knife to a gun fight. 

Ran

A jidaigeki reimagining of King Lear. 

A visually astounding, sweeping epic with amazing acting and a complex interplay of conflicting passions which might just be more bleak than the original play. 

The scene in which the main character goes mad and is cast out into the wilderness is especially haunting.

Jojo Rabbit

I don’t think I’ve EVER experienced such violent mood whiplash in a movie before. One moment you’re crying-laughing from a joke that hit with absolute perfection and the next you’re...actually crying. In the same scene. Within thirty seconds. Multiple times. It is the oddest feeling to be so elated by the best joke in the entire movie while every character we’ve come to know across the course of the movie is in the process of dying violently. It’s not a feeling everyone’s going to like, but for me it was completely new and fantastic. 

The best part of the movie is the main character’s relationship with Imaginary Friend Hitler. He’s wildly funny and relentlessly charming. I got excited every time he appeared in a scene and was, oddest of all, actually comforted by his presence. 

He was all of these things until, in the most terrifying scene in the movie, he was not.

This movie shows you the mechanisms through which fascism becomes an appealing idea for a lonely child by putting the audience through a version of the same process. It’s so clever, so funny and so sad. 

What do you do when your world is destroyed by absurdity and there is nothing left for you to return to?

You dance in the streets.

TV Series

Good Omens 

Wildly hilarious comedy, fantastic costume design, multiple androgynous characters for which NO ONE bats an eye and honestly?? the best queer love story I’ve ever seen in television or film. 

The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance

I am not sure if I have ever seen a production with so much love poured into it. The dozens of painstakingly crafted sets and characters, the sheer level of artistry on display - the next thing I saw was always more amazing than the thing I’d seen before it and the amazingness just kept coming with no end in sight throughout the entirety of the show.

And the story itself! The way it deepened and played with the lore of the original movie in the most perfect and unexpected ways! It felt like I was watching the most fantastic and labor intensive piece of fanfiction ever conceived, that was written by a person with a deep passion for and knowledge of the source material. 

Speaking of fantastic throwbacks...

Dororo

I’ve said a lot about this one already. While it ultimately fell kind of flat, what it did get right was phenomenal. The motherfucking FIGHT SCENES! The love between bros! The fascinating reconception of Hyakkimaru’s powers and its emphasis on a disabled character actually being portrayed as disabled! The journey of good characters going down the path of evil with good intentions!

Mwah!

Primal eps 1-5

Genndy Tartakovsky’s next big project after the completion of Samurai Jack! 

It is gory. Like, extremely gory. Do you know how much gore a thing has to have before I consider it ‘extremely gory?’ It’s a lot. Like...really a lot. There’s a thirty second (or possibly longer. time lost all meaning as I watched it) sequence in which the main character punches the intestines out of a horde of hominids in loving, exacting detail. It’s like Genndy’s letting out all the pent-up gore he was forced to keep in check during the years when he was working on Samurai Jack. 

But it isn’t just gore. It’s a journey about the main character’s grief over the sudden, horrific, unexpected death of his entire family. A story which is also mirrored by that of the dinosaur he joins forces with. There were parts during it in which I literally felt my heart being torn in two over the travails of these two, as well as wildly funny and completely adorable parts.

The settings, creature design and fight choreography are insanely creative, as is the decision to do it with no dialogue whatsoever.

And that cliffhanger, DAMN!! They’d better get the next five episodes out soon!

Honorable Mention:

Rick and Morty S4 eps 1-5

This one doesn’t entirely make the list proper because the latter two episodes...were rather subpar. But I can’t entirely keep it off the list because the quality of the first three episodes was off the charts. A particular shoutout to ‘The Old Man and the Seat’ and ‘One Crew Over the Crewcoo’s Morty’ - the former, which somehow managed to use toilet humor, of all things, to reach a crushingly tragic conclusion and the latter, which has a twist better than that of some of my favorite horror movies. 

Games

Shogun 2

I didn’t do a whole lot of gaming at all this year. But what I did do is have a fantastic time getting into the Total War franchise. Shogun 2 was my entry point and a FANTASTIC game. The ninja animations! The tiny, exacting animations of every single person running around on a sinking ship! The way Realm Divide changes the game into something much more dangerous and the way I learned to dance on the edge of it until I was good and ready! 

Plays

Love’s Labours Lost

One of two Shakespeare plays I saw this year, the other being The Tempest - which was also excellent (especially the part where it legit started raining when Ariel summoned the storm in the first scene and then that showing had to be cancelled. The second time was the charm). 

Love’s Labours Lost had some excellent comedy and the usual absurd web of misunderstandings you’d expect to find in your standard Shakespeare romcom. But the thing which pushed it over the edge for me was that...it had a sad ending. It goes against the definition of comedy and has a sad ending. Because it was so unexpected, it hit unexpectedly hard and made it that much more memorable.

Realization of the Self Through Relationship

Hello there! Each reading before this week puts the idea of LBGTQ+ relationships on the backburning, which I wasn’t amused with, so I’m incredibly happy that we’re further addressing it: and with two great movies! I watched Call Me By Your Name and Moonlight a few times before this week and I absolutely loved both movies. I even talked about Moonlight in the blog post from last week, not even realizing that Moonlight wasn’t one of the movies last week (haha oops). They’re very different films from each other, but I liked that about them. What I didn’t realize was the deeper meaning behind both of them. Of course there’s the obvious difference in race and class between the characters of the two films, but I didn’t process the profound reasoning behind why this difference affects the way love is presented. Before taking this class, I really thought Call Me By Your Name was a movie that epitomized the struggle of coming out. In one of the articles, “But Seeing Through Whose Eyes: Call Me By Your Name and the Mechanisms of Love and Fantasy” by Miles Rufelds, the author explains how Call Me By Your Name is basically a “parade of bourgeois privilege” and replaces “any ostensible villain or antagonist with the insurmountable anxiety of a deadline” (pg 3). I never truly realized that until I watched the movie back to back with Moonlight. Compared to Chiron, Elio has it extremely easy. A summer filled with lying around, playing piano, having food served to him, sleeping by the poolside, playing volleyball all day and partying all night. This doesn’t mean that we should minimize how difficult or confusing it is for a person to come to terms with their sexuality. Yet, just as the author describes it, the film’s “idyllic setting, characters, dialogue, and narrative render its tale of affirmation and growth almost completely unrelatable” (pg 6).

With coming out stories, most people want to be able to relate to the character. If they can’t, is the story as effective? Well no matter what, every story will relate to someone out there. It’s not exactly relatable to a heterosexual person, but being relatable to a gay person when Elio isn’t going through even half of the obstacles that a gay person usually goes through? It might not be as effective as a story like Moonlight would be. So on the contrary, as described in the reading “Moonlight, Adaptation and Queer Time” by Pamela Demory, Moonlight is about “how real people live, people whose lives do not conform to the supposedly “natural” order of human life” (pg 98). Even though the film is extremely upsetting, Moonlight is incredibly more realistic and relatable than Call Me By Your Name could be received as. Chiron is bullied from a very young age, being called gay before he realized he was gay himself. They would make fun of him for “acting gay”, making Chiron associate “gay” as a negative attribution. He lived in poverty, surrounded by a toxic environment full of gangs and drugs with a mother who would steal from him and neglect him. Elio, on the other hand, is supported by parents who expressed multiple times throughout the film that they support him and that he can always talk to them about whatever he’s going through. He’s rich, white and privileged and that in itself is enough to make him unrelatable. Chiron goes through the terrible extremes of a situation where he is a gay black man in a horrendous neighborhood that never accepts him. A lot more people can relate to the idea of being unaccepted than the idea of being accepted. Although this is the obvious truth, in regards to love, I believe that both movies display this extremely well, but obviously in two very different ways.

Familial love and romantic love are present for Elio throughout his exploration of figuring out whether or not he’s gay. His family and friends love him unconditionally and they continuously reiterate that and assure him that this is true. With regards to Oliver, the article “Beating Hearts: Compassion and Self-Discovery in Call Me By Your Name” by Joanna Di Mattia, expresses the fact that Elio has found a person whose “kindness and warmth...provide[d] a safe space for [him] to be himself” (pg 7). Having someone like Oliver who willingly allows Elio to figure out who he is serves as the epitome of what loving someone entails. Allowing someone you care about to make mistakes and be “given the space and support to find [the answers]” without judgement or the fear of being ridiculed is what I believe to be an essential key to love. Although Moonlight presents it differently because of the circumstances that Chiron is living through, he is able to have his first sexual experience with Kevin without judgement as well. Kevin himself would never admit to being gay or bisexual, maybe he was or maybe he wasn’t, but he was comfortable enough with his identity to allow himself to be Chiron’s safe space while they were on the beach. Kevin allowed Chiron to have his one and only sexual experience as a gay man and because of that, Chiron was able to figure out that he was gay. It took him a long time to accept it and in the end, Kevin was the same person who allowed him to do so. Both Chiron and Elio had that one person: the person who allowed them to be vulnerable and who helped them figure out who they are. That’s quintessential to love.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd_H3JlAp0U ===> This is a part of the ending scene after Chiron and Kevin had dinner together and went back to Kevin’s apartment. Here, Chiron confesses to Kevin that he was the only man that has ever touched him, reemphasizing how much of an impact Kevin has had on his identity as a queer man, even though he still hasn’t come to terms with it 100%)

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7dAL5QqugI ===> This scene, one of my favorite scenes in the movie was such a chill moment that showed how much more comfortable Elio is around Oliver now that he is slowly coming to terms with his sexuality. It’s a beautiful moment filled with intimacy and belonging)

Now, will there ever be a love story like Call Me By Your Name that involves a black couple or will a black gay romance always be subjected to the theme of poverty and unacceptance? Would the movies be as effective if the races were switched? Would one be more relatable than the other if the races and circumstances were switched? This shouldn’t even have to be a relevant discussion, but the fact is this: queer love is represented differently in film based on the race of the characters. If this can change in the near future, that’d be great; the last thing I’d want is for young black men who think they’re gay to assume the worst outcomes would occur if they decided to come out just because the worst outcomes are present on the big screen. That is truly heartbreaking to think about.

As 2018 came to an end I tried over the last days to catch up on some of the movies I wanted to see this year. There are still a lot of movies I haven’t seen yet, and I only included movies that were released this year, except for one (that is released in Germany, I know some already had their release in the US in 2017). So, time for some movies reviews. And let me know what you have watched this year, what you can recommend, and what I have missed. 

Arrival

Technical this movie was released in 2017, but I really wanted to include it in this list because it was so GOOD. The plot looks like your average Sci-Fi movie (overnight spaceships appear on earth), but it really isn’t. First of all the way the spaceships and the aliens are designed is really unique, and really gives you this feeling of something otherworldly. The main character is a linguist and her job is it to find out how to communicate with the aliens. I don’t think I ever thought as much about language as I did while watching this movie. And this movie had one of the best plot twists ever. First of all I didn’t see it coming (and yeah that says something), second it really changes how you watch this movie and third it changes the movie on an emotional level. I cried so much. 10/10

Your Name

It’s been a while since I watched an Anime movie, and this was one of the few that had a theatrical release in Germany (it’s also the most successfull Anime movie ever in Japan I think). The story centers around two teenagers, a girl from the countryside and a boy from Tokyo, who for some reason are able to switch their bodies for a day, which happens two or three times a week. They start to leave messages for the other while being in the other body and the starts as every other body-switch-comedy until at some point the body switch stops and the boy can no longer reach the girl. He starts to investigate and I won’t tell you more because the movie developed into a direction I hadn’t seen coming. It’s a beautiful, moving movie, and even if you normally don’t watch Animes you should make an exception for this one. 10/10

Black Panther

I admit that before this movie I knew little to nothing about this character, and while the trailer looked cool I had no huge interest in the movie. I only saw it because it was the last Marvel release before “Infinity War” and I wondered if there were any hints towards “Infinity War” (there aren’t). And then this movie completely blew me away. It is easily in my top 3 of all Marvel movies and I also think it is the best Marvel origin story. I loved Wakanda, I loved the world building, the music, the costumes, everything. This movie also has the best villian of any comic book movie. Because, let’s face it, most villians are forgettable. Killmonger however is different. Because never before I watched a movie where at some point I had to agree with the villian. Sure his methods were wrong, but not his motivation. And I think that if you make a movie about the first black superhero the question about race will always be the elephant in the room. Other directors might have a less serious, less political movie, but not Ryan Coogler. He asks complicated questions about race, about privilege, about responsibility, where there are no easy answers. This is both a big fun superhero movie, but it is also deeply political, because it can be both. And it is also a movie that you can totally watch without ever seeing a Marvel movie before, so don’t take that as an excuse. 10/10

The Shape of Water

I love Del Toro, I love the stories he tells, I love the way he uses colours in his movies, and this is no exception (though I think it is not his best movie). This movie is a fairytale. I don’t think it ever tries to be more, and it tells you so in the beginning, so don’t expect it to be more. It totally works that way, but the characters pretty much stay in the roles they have been given. It is also a story about outsiders, about the ones who don’t fit in our society, because they are women, or disabled, or people of color, or queer, or... fishman. This movie might be set in 50ies but in many ways the issues it adresses are still relevant. And the villian is very white, very male, very straight. And very American. I don’t think the movie was very sublte in its political messages. It’s a great movie, but I don’t think it was the best movie of the year. 9/10

Call Me By Your Name

Many moons ago I read the book this movie is based on. I’m not a huge fan of adaptions in general, because many times the book is simply better and not every story works on a big screen. However this movie somehow managed to evoke the same feeling in me that I had while reading the book. It is very sensual, and it also takes its time to tell its story (but so does the book). I really have to praise both Timothee Chalamet and Arnie Hammer, because so much is told through their faces alone. Quite a beautiful love story. 10/10

Lady Bird

I think this movie worked for me on a very personal level. It is set in 2002 and centers around a 17-year-old-girl and typical teenager problems. I was 13 in 2002 so this felt a bit like a trip down memory lane. Nothing about this story is new, and there are dozen of other coming of age movies, and yet this movie felt to me very personal and intimitate. It centers a lot around the relationship between the young girl and her mother, but never takes sides. Absolutely loved Laurie Metcalf in this movie, who played the mother. If you are not interested in young adult and/or coming of age stories or in general teenage girls this movie won’t work for you. But I loved it. 9/10

Annihilation

I probably wouldn’t have seen this movie in the theater and mostly watched it because it is on Netflix. It is visually stunning, and if you have the chance watch it on a big screen. The trailer made it look like a horror movie which it isn’t. Instead it is very dark Sci-Fi, with some (body)horror elements. The movie made me really uncomfortable and I think that was the intention of the director, but I failed to emotional connect with it. It is an interesting movie but read some trigger warnings before you watch it. 7/10

Avengers: Infinity War

This was probably the movie I was most exicted for this year. This movie really doesn’t work without context: if you never seen a Marvel movie before or maybe just one or two it won’t work for you. This movies depends that you know these characters, that you know their stories and their relationships to each other. All the emotional build-up happened in the movies before, so that this movie could largely concentrate on the plot. Give it to the Russo brothers to handle such a huge ensemble cast (though of course not every character got the same amount of screen time, but that’s ok). It is a hard to judge this movie because it really doesn’t work on its own. One of the few times the entire theater was silent during the end credits. If you love Marvel you will love this movie. 8/10

Deadpool 2

I might be in the minority but I liked the first Deadpool movie better. Maybe because the first was so new and unusual, but the second time a lot of the jokes didn’t work for me. Also the entire story arc around Vanessa.... please don’t. I don’t think this movie was bad, but I enjoyed the first one more. 7/10

Solo: A Star Wars Story

Someone said this is Star Wars fan fiction made into a movie and I think they are right. It is a fun and entertaining movie, but it kinda felt... unnecessary. If you are a hugh fan of Han Solo you will probably like this movie but as a general Star Wars fan... they could and should have released this story as a novel or comic and investigate the money for this movie in a more original story. 6/10

Ant-Man and The Wasp

First of all you can totally watch this movie if you haven’t seen “Infinity War”, just skip the post credit scenes. Second, it was a fun movie. Just as the first one. Hope aka Wasp played a bigger role, which I really liked. Compared to other Marvel movies this one felt small (pun inteneded) and focused a lot on personal relationships rather than saving the world. It is entertaining but doesn’t have the impact as “Black Panther” had. 7/10

Bohemian Rhapsody

I loved the casting, loved the costumes, the sets, the music. It was for the most part a very entertaining, very moving story. But if you are interested in Queen and/or Freddie Mercury please read additional to this movie a biography. A lot of the story felt to me very generic for a music movie. And they did a huge change towards the end of the movie, to make the story look more dramatic I guess, that I didn’t really like. 7/10

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

Though it wasn’t perfect I really liked the first Fantastic Beasts movie and somehow everything I liked about it isn’t in this movie. We hardly learn anything about the French wizarding culture even though the story takes place in Paris. The Beasts are complete unneccessary for the story except for the Niffler. Characters make choices that seem illogical (Queenie). Major plot holes/logic errors (McGonagall, Creedence etc). Too much plot crammed into one movie. Some really problematic aspects (Nagini, Leta’s parents etc). And while the first Fantastic Beats movie worked on its own, this one was so full of Potter references you were probably lost if you never read the books. As a huge Potter fan I do hope J.K. Rowling has a master plan for the plot to make sense, and that next time an experienced script writer helps her to muddle through all of her ideas. 6,5/10

Mortal Engines

I saw this movie because a friend of mine wanted to see it and the Speampunk aesthetic looked really interesting to me. The look, the costumes, the music, the effetcs of this movie are great. The casting is ok. But man the story. Nothing you haven’t seen a million times before. The movie really had potional because of the world it is set it but unfortunately it wastes it. If you like Steampunk you can watch it but don’t expect too much of the story. 5/10

The Producers (1968)

I love the Turner Classic Movies Big Screen Classics series, because it gives me the chance to see amazing films from the 20th century that I missed growing up the way they were meant to be seen. So often when I watch movies at home, even ones that I’m excited about, I find myself reaching for my phone to check - nothing honestly. I’m not a Kardashian, I don’t have an empire that depends upon my interaction with the computer that lives in my pocket. So it’s nice to devote my complete and utter attention to these classic films when I get the chance, especially films like The Producers. 

The Producers is one of those movies that I’ve been familiar with my entire life but have never seen. I’ve seen the 2005 version based on the musical, but I was frankly unimpressed by the over-the-top, verging on manic, performances. Golden Age Mel Brooks, though? That’s definitely more my speed. With all that cultural baggage hanging off it, was there any hope of this modest tale about two guys who seek to make the worst flop that Broadway has ever seen living up to the spectacle that it later, ahem, produced? Well...

While some aspects of the movie have not aged quite as well as others, the marks of Mel Brooks’ genius are scattered throughout this picture and the performances by the unbridled Zero Mostel and the sublime Gene Wilder are what really ensured that this movie would still be delighting audiences 50 years later. 

Some thoughts:

Ok. Obviously not every joke is still going to land 50 years later. Pretty much Ulla’s entire part in the movie is pretty cringey. Also the “hahahaha look at those FREAKS” vibe surrounding the clearly queer and gender nonconforming Roger De Bris and Carmen Ghia feels pretty hostile. I mean, we were still up to our eyeballs in gay panic jokes and man-in-a-dress gags in movies through the early 2000s, so it’s not super surprising. I am glad that these bits are brief in this film, and that as a whole, we’ve (mostly) moved our taste in jokes a little bit forward.

That being said, there’s a lot of brilliant stuff in here, not the least of which is the satire of trying to guarantee failure by making a musical called Springtime for Hitler and it, y’know, succeeding. Although, to the audience’s credit, it succeeded because they thought the play was making a mockery of Hitler, not celebrating him. If only that were somehow relevant to the times we live in. 

Kenneth Mars as Franz Liebkin is so fantastically committed to his part and his ridiculous German accent. I’ve seen Young Frankenstein more times than I can count, so I was delighted to see the seeds of his brilliant role in that film, Inspector Kemp, here. 

This movie is QUICK. Like, on the verge of breakneck speed. It feels like we go from Idea to Find the Play to Find the Author to Find Hitler to Opening Night in about 30 minutes! I can’t tell if this is a virtue or not - I certainly was never bored, but I would have loved some more “getting the play up and running” hijinks from Gene Wilder and Zero Mostel.

Speaking of...more and more I’m beginning to think that the greatest talent that we’ve lost in my lifetime was Gene Wilder. What that man could do with a pause. HIs sweet, innocent face morphing into something hysterical and then back again in the blink of an eye is just mesmerizing. it’s so interesting to see little bits and pieces of what he would go on to do later in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein. He was one-of-a-kind, and damn this made me miss him.

My only real complaint about this movie is that it’s definitely very obvious that this was Mel Brooks’ directorial debut. Someone once explained to me that when you’re looking at the Best Director Academy Award, you should be thinking about who was the person who best knew where exactly to place the camera? I think about that a lot now when I watch movies, and some of the camera choices here are just bizarre. There’s one crane shot over Central Park where we appear to be zooming in on the characters but instead it zooms into the trees and then does a quick cut to Leo and Max next to a hot dog cart. Reaction shots are too long or not long enough. It’s clear that there was a learning curve going on here, which I don’t begrudge, but it’s definitely noticeable. Thankfully, good writing can make up for a lot of sins.

The way Leo looks at Max during the performance of the play, and his beautiful speech in the courtroom scene knocked me out. It reads so much like a love story! They even have a meet-cute at the beginning, they spend all their time together, they become partners for life essentially, and the looks of sheer adoration they give each other - it’s so sweet and full of love, I really was shocked. I’d be interested to read some queer criticism about this film to see if this reading was a taboo-pushing intention of the film (much like Blazing Saddles was specifically designed to combat and critique racism).

This is a classic for a reason, and, in my humble opinion, far superior to the 2005 adaptation of the musical on the strength of Gene Wilder’s performance alone. We’ve technically got a few more weeks of spring - I’d advise you to make the most of it and revisit this gem that gave us Springtime for Hitler, if only to be reminded of a time when people actually found the idea of Nazis laughable.

The Prom: Ranking Every Song in the Movie Musical Soundtrack From Worst to Best

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The 2018 Broadway musical The Prom has always had a somewhat shaky premise, combining a quartet of narcissistic Broadway stars (Meryl Streep, James Corden, Nicole Kidman, and Andrew Rannells) looking for a way to be relevant again with a lesbian couple’s (Jo Ellen Pellman and Ariana DeBose) simple wish to attend their prom in Edgewater, Indiana. The two threads collide when the prom gets blown up into a civil rights issue. However, the stage show reconciled these seemingly disparate elements into a heartwarming tale of self-acceptance for all involved: straight or gay, closeted or out, aging star or varsity cheerleader.

Ryan Murphy’s film adaptation for Netflix, by contrast, is less successful. The awkward space between these two stories is more pronounced, with the Broadway portions plagued by puzzling lighting and editing choices. Combine that with some truly head-scratching casting among three of the four adults, and it distracts from the intent of basically half the soundtrack.

However, when it comes to all things prom-related, the adaptation is nearly as strong as its Broadway predecessor, and in some places utilizes cinematic elements to surpass the original versions of key musical numbers. With that in mind, we’re ranking all 19 songs from worst to best, keeping in mind that the rankings would likely have turned out differently had we been considering the musical itself.

19. Barry is Going to Prom

James Corden was disastrously miscast as gay actor Barry, who removed himself from his parents’ lives as a teenager before they could cast him out, yet is still clearly in need of closure. One can never shake the feeling of watching this straight actor put on queer identity as an ill-fitting suit; there’s more than one “did I just hear that right?” moment of him lisping his way through a scene.

He brings that disingenuously effeminate energy to Barry’s big number, “Barry is Going to Prom,” and tarnishes what should be a triumphant showstopper. Not surprisingly, Corden in a silver-and-aqua tux mincing through a fantasy sequence is so much less compelling than original star Brooks Ashmanskas belting in his pajamas.

18. Simply Love

The second of the two end credits songs seems to be a rejected number for Barry’s reunion with his estranged mother while also advocating for Emma. Despite the feeling Corden tries to infuse into it, emotionally it’s empty. The only thing saving it from rock bottom on this list is that there are no accompanying visuals.

17. The Acceptance Song

The first sign that the Broadway crew have overestimated their star power is when their big “rally” in Emma’s honor gets booked… at the halftime show of the local monster truck rally. They try to sing a song about acceptance, but neither they nor the monster truck enthusiasts are equipped to give or receive the message. It’s a forgettable song, but that’s kind of the point, isn’t it?

16. Wear Your Crown

The first end credits song is so overproduced that I had to look up who sang it—turns out it’s the entire cast, their voices blended into one unnatural warble. The only thing that saves it is that they do the musical credits thing where they match the names with the performances (here, it’s them posing at the prom with superlatives), so you can remember who you did or didn’t like all over again.

15. Zazz

As solo numbers go, this is not Nicole Kidman’s best; but then again, can anything really top Moulin Rouge!? Perennial chorus girl Angie’s ode to making yourself a star is meant to evoke Bob Fosse and Chicago, but winds up resembling a mere shadow of that brilliance. And, unlike how Kidman breaks our hearts with “Come What May,” this ditty could have been sung by anyone.

14. Changing Lives

As opening numbers go, this one doesn’t rank very high, in part because it has to do so much heavy lifting for the less obvious half of The Prom’s premise: Dee Dee (Meryl Streep, unconvincing at the start) and Barry watch their Eleanor Roosevelt musical close on opening night because they are too self-involved to authentically inhabit these historical figures.

Scrolling Twitter’s trending topics for a “cause” that will reverse their PR disaster, they find Emma and automatically decide that they can and will change her small-town baby gay life. With all that exposition, the song’s actual message—that actors and art can change people’s lives—gets lost. What is fun is intercutting the post-show glow with footage of Dee Dee and Barry in costume as Eleanor and FDR on-stage in what feels like a parody of Hamilton.

13. It’s Not About Me

This is a peppier, more on-the-nose version of “Changing Lives,” yet it strikes a bunch of discordant notes, like Dee Dee and co. sweeping into the PTA meeting to rally for Emma but really turn the spotlight on themselves. It’s too much cringe, too early in the story; and worst of all, Streep simply doesn’t seem to be having fun. Instead she looks like she has to force this number out to get on to the more compelling stuff.

12. Changing Lives (Reprise)

The reprise ranks higher than its predecessor because there’s just enough of an ironic twist to signal to the audience that we’re immediately poking fun at these self-obsessed Broadway stars. The line “We’re gonna help that little lesbian / Whether she likes it or not” is unexpectedly hilarious, though the CGI Times Square backdrop is tough to swallow.

11. We Look to You

Perhaps it’s not surprising that all of the songs about the saving power of art are clumped in the same section of the ranking. Perhaps that element of the show translated better to the literal stage, but in the movie these sequences are garish and don’t fit alongside the sweet, straightforward conflict that Emma and Alyssa face.

Read more

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This number does try to bridge that divide, however, with Keegan-Michael Key’s straight ally Principal Hawkins tenderly serenading Dee Dee with memories of her performing. Yet through no fault of his own, they still seem an oddly matched pair, which dampens the romantic effect of the song.

10. Unruly Heart

As Emma’s big number, delivered via humble strumming on YouTube that goes viral by tugging the heartstrings of LGBTQ teens everywhere, “Unruly Heart” felt as if it should have ranked higher. There’s a fun effect of Emma’s bed spinning, making the confines of her room seem bigger as her message spreads to millions of people; it also looks like something out of a Broadway show. But one is left with the feeling that this should be a tearjerker for where it exists in the story. This is likely the biggest casualty of the stage-to-screen adaptation.

9. The Lady’s Improving

This is Streep in her musical element, bringing to mind a mix of the whimsy of “Money, Money, Money” and the yearning of “Mamma Mia.” It’s also got that sharp cleverness that’s all too rare in the Broadway portion of this story, with Dee Dee resurrecting her starring role for a one-afternoon-only, private performance for Hawkins. Wouldn’t you know it, this unapologetic preying on his nostalgic fandom for a fictional character is what actually sells their oddball relationship.

8. Alyssa Greene

DeBose’s bitter defense of staying in the closet starts out as the seemingly low-stakes complaints of a straight-A student afraid to step out of line. But as Alyssa’s refrains keep returning to her mother (Kerry Washington)—complete with flashbacks of earnest Washington playing the helicopter-mom to a tee—it becomes achingly clear just how committed Mrs. Greene is to making her daughter’s life not be “difficult,” at least by her metrics. It’s also clear how much Alyssa feels she owes her.

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The best part is that this impassioned “I wish” song is not enough to win back Emma’s trust, and actually leads to their breakup instead. Emotional vulnerability, met with stakes-raising conflict! We love to see it.

7. It’s Time to Dance

Sure, it’s the triumphant final number, but it’s also so much spectacle (mostly with the ensemble’s too-cool-for-school dancing) that it’s difficult to focus on the emotional underpinnings. Reprisals of motifs like “Dance with You” (look ahead) and “Unruly Heart” buoy it up, and of course so does Emma and Alyssa’s big kiss. But this feels like the big shiny denouement as opposed to the less polished but more poignant songs that will stick with you longer.

6. Tonight Belongs to You (Reprise)

Just as “Changing Lives (Reprise)” recontextualizes its predecessor, the reprise of “Tonight Belongs to You” twists the knife: After being humiliated by the school-wide prank of the fake prom, Emma tortures herself with one last reminder that tonight was always about the “normal” kids. It’s the heartbreaking complement to her stalwart sense of self in “Just Breathe” (see below), with Emma confronting the truth that even if she loves herself, her peers and their parents don’t.

5. Love Thy Neighbor

Without a doubt, Rannells makes this song more charming than it has any right to be. You couldn’t have found a better choice than the Book of Mormon alum to point out the hypocrisy in cherry-picking which religious rules to follow. And unlike a lot of The Prom’s other attempts to shoehorn Broadway culture into this small town, the Godspell vibe of “Love Thy Neighbor” expertly gets through to these closed-minded classmates. If Rannells were teaching drama and the Bible to teens like this, it’d go a long way toward bridging that empathy gap.

4. Just Breathe

Pellman is earnestly wonderful even in songs that are duds, but this is the perfect introduction. “Note to self: Don’t be gay in Indiana” tells you everything you need to know about how lovely Emma is: wry and self-assured, secure in both her own identity and in who she loves, even if she has to protect that secret for Alyssa.

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Yet this inner monologue of a song is relatable to all adolescents who don’t quite fit into high school’s damning constraints, a keen reminder to just breathe and move past the moment, looking ahead to a place or hopefully someday a world in which they won’t be the odd person out.

3. You Happened

This bubbly number seemingly shouldn’t rank so high in the list, yet it’s the most authentic aspect of the story it’s depicting: Teenagers acting out the epic love stories they’ve seen in film and yes, on the stage, playacting at adult declarations of devotion.

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It’s the classic promposal that teens have swooned over from Laguna Beach to TikTok, but one-upped through boy-band choreography and a built-in chorus of high schoolers crooning “Youuuu happened!” like it’s the big love confession from When Harry Met Sally. Yet these over-the-top promposals don’t hold a candle to…

2. Dance with You

Emma and Alyssa’s sweet anthem has the sweeping strains of a classic love song—old-Hollywood romance that reflects their simple wish to not be symbols of a movement, but to get the same quintessential high school experience as their straight classmates. It’s also one that benefits from the movie expanding the scope of a song, with the young lovers walking hand-in-hand through their empty school and waltzing under ethereally lit pink trees. Every time the motif recurs in later songs (hitting different notes each time), it conjures that same swell of emotion.

1. Tonight Belongs to You

The fact that this song attained number-one despite Corden’s bad performance overshadowing the first verses is a testament to its infectious joy, and to the frankly incredible layers of emotion contained within.

Beneath the giddy veneer of getting ready for prom, there are so many darker aspects: Barry strong-arming poor Emma into a femme makeover in an attempt to live vicariously through the prom he never had. Cheerleaders Shelby and Kaylee singing “One thing’s universal / Life’s no dress rehearsal” as they step into identical limos in their cookie-cutter cul de sac, as if they could ever fathom an experience outside of their own. This entire song claims that the night is about Emma, but it’s about everyone but her, and that is so uncomfortably truthful.

And then… the moment Emma steps into the gym to find that the entire school played a cruel trick on her. Her peers singing as if they’re in the same boat as her, as they sail on to their real prom, leaving her the humiliation of entering the empty school gym, encapsulates the brutality of high school in a single song. They’ve turned the supposedly empowering Act I finale into the ultimate villain song. The Prom is uneven overall, but as enduring musical songs go, “Tonight Belongs to You” takes the crown.

But as with all things prom, every vote counts. How would you rank the songs from Netflix’s The Prom?

The Prom is now streaming on Netflix.

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The post The Prom: Ranking Every Song in the Movie Musical Soundtrack From Worst to Best appeared first on Den of Geek.

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Panel Voting is open!

Since we only got 7 more panel submissions than there are slots for panels, we decided not to do two rounds of voting as planned. Instead, voting will be open from now until February 18th. The voting form contains all the panels and descriptions along with mod names--please let me know ASAP if I missed any of the co-mod arrangements flying around! Voting closes at 11:59pm on Sunday, February 18th. VOTE HERE! (Voting instructions are in the form. You must be registered for the con for your vote to count. Side effects may include increased heart rate, shortness of breath, uncontrollable gigglefits, and inability to can. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.) Panel Descriptions SINGLE FANDOM Women of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (mod: Minim Calibre) Natasha Romanoff, Peggy & Sharon Carter, Jessica Jones, Shuri, Gamora, Valkyrie, Maria Hill, and many, many more! Let's talk about the wonderful women of the MCU and why we love them. Avengers Reassemble (mods: Lucifuge5, mizface) MCU's been kicking it for 10 years and counting. Where is it going and where would we want it to go next? Captain America: The Star Spangled Man With a Plan* (*for certain values of plan) (mods: Minim Calibre, Gwyneth) From a kid from Brooklyn to a bearded outlaw, come talk about Captain America and Cap fandom as it stands on the eve of Infinity War. Pacific Rim: Uprising - Next Gen Heroes Yay? (mod: Raine Wynd) Pacific Rim Uprising gave us another apocalypse and a set of new heroes to like. Let's talk - and maybe discuss where Raleigh and Herc were doing while this was going on. :-) The Real Bad Place Is The Friends We Made All Along (mods: SDWolfpup, Brynn, Minim Calibre) The Good Place started with a straight-forward premise and became one of the most complicated, delightful, and philosophy-loving shows on TV. Let's talk about why we love it (so many reasons!), how it manages to keep turning its own premise with such skill, and what we hope for next season. The State of Bandom: 2018 (mods: aethel, Lucifuge5) Bandom in 2018 is a different beast from Bandom in 2007. We'll chat about how the fandom has changed (and how it hasn't) and what the musicians are up to now. Come reminisce about your time in Bandom! A short time ago, in a fandom not so far away... (mods: bessyboo, exmanhater) Let’s talk STAR WARS! Originals, Prequels, Sequels, Rogue One, Clone Wars, Rebels, EU—which parts are you really feeling, and why? Which parts that you’re not already into should you check out? What did you think of The Last Jedi? Everything from the galaxy far, far away is on the table! Miss Fisher's Intersectional Feminism (mod: krytella) The adaptation of MFMM from books to the screen aged Phryne up into a rare portrayal of a glamorous heroine over 40 surrounded by a broad range of supporting female characters. The show tackles social issues around gender and class and occasionally attempts to grapple with racism and Australia’s colonial history. What do we love about it, what do we wince at about it, what do we wish we had fanworks about for it? Visit Themyscira (mods: cyborganize, metatxt) Share your Wonder Woman story, whether you're a movie lover, a Lynda Carter devotée, or a long-suffering comics fan. A conversation about the conversation about Wonder Woman: why we feel how we feel about her, what she represents, how she has been represented. Explore Diana's origin in the early 1940s (see: Professor Marston and the Wonder Women) and her fictional origin in the Amazon culture of Paradise Island / Themyscira, and why the character and her worlds are still relevant. Will involve the F word – feminism! (And the other F word – femslash!) META AND MULTIFANDOM Sometimes we pay for it (mod: rivers_bend) come talk about queer romance novels, fannish tropes in pro fiction, and finding the perfect book for you. It's the End of the World As We Know It, And I Feel Fannish (mods: SDWolfpup, cyborganize) Post-apocalypse shows & fic are plentiful, and have plenty of fans, even though they're (usually!) very dark. What draws us to these worlds? What are your favorite post-apocalyptic media and why? What do we learn about ourselves from watching others struggle with the destruction of everything they knew? Where Do We Go From Here? (mods: Minim_Calibre, cyborganize) As the Internet changes and sites rise and fall, how do we stay connected as a community? Can we? Explore the state of fandom in 2018 and how has it changed since the first Bitchin' Party ten years ago! Fandoms That Won't Die (mods: aethel, Lucifuge5) Come talk about the fandoms you love that surprised you with their longevity! Why do some fandoms last and others don't? Fannish Osmosis Fic Exchange (mod: Scribe) Write a stranger the fic of their dreams...for a canon you only know about via hearsay! Other types of fanworks welcome, as long as they can be completed in about fifteen minutes; reading/sharing with the room is encouraged for maximum hilarity, but not mandatory. You Like My Thing Wrong (mod: bessyboo) You know that moment when you’re really into a popular thing, but you hate the popular pairing, or character, or fanon characterization? Or maybe you’ve been into something for a million years and suddenly everyone else is on board too, but everything they’re saying and creating is just…WRONG? Friends, let us get together and discuss strategies for taking a breath, chilling out, and avoiding feeling like horrible fandom hipsters or Bitter Old Fandom Queens when other people just Like Our Thing Wrong. Cest is Best (mods: bessyboo, metatxt) Incest and step/pseudocest have seen a rise in popularity recently in the mainstream, from Game of Throne to Billy & Billie to The Flash, but they've been popular in fandom for over a decade. What's the continued appeal of incest in fandom? And why do you think it's starting to hit more mainstream popularity now? Do you have limits on what you will or won't read--and has that changed? Are you here for the sitcom fluff, the dirtybadwrong angst, or something in between? Let's talk about fandom's fondness for keepin' it in the family! Feelings Are The Worst (mod: jedusaur) Emotions run high when you care a whole lot, and fandom is all about caring a whole lot. Let's talk about different types and contexts of fannish feelings, what sparks and alters our fannish interests, how and why conflicts arise in fandom, what feelings even are (your mod will make a sincere effort not to derail the conversation too far into the intricacies of the ventromedial prefrontal cortex), and what situations lead to fandom obsession, frustration, gradual indifference, and loving everyone in this whole damn bar. Alphas, Omegas, Doms, & Subs: Alternate Gender System Tropes (mods: krytella, keerawa) Why do A/B/O, BDSM AU, and other AUs that play with alternate gender designation have such strong appeal? Do they provide a safer space to eroticize gendered oppression, create a dystopian critique of gendered oppression, or both at once? Are slash gender system AUs an expression of internalized misogyny or badly written female characters or something else entirely? Do slash and femslash uses if this trope serve to straighten the queer relationships they depict? How about alpha/alpha and omega/omega stories, or D/s AUs centering switches? Wait, we only have 50 minutes? Documenting Fandom (mod: aethel) Fans have been writing down the history of fandom since fandom began. Let's discuss the various ways and reasons that fans document fandom! And also Fanlore. Speed Dating Small Fandoms (mods: metatxt, cyborganize) A semi-structured con-game where we share and explore why we love the small fandoms we love. By generating a creative categorization structure, together we will match-make fans with new small fandoms relevant to their interests. Our goal is for everyone to leave with a new fandom to date and a new fan joining one of their small fandom faves. TECH AND WORKSHOP A Song and a Dream: Now What? (mods: SDWolfpup, scribe) You've got the perfect song for your fandom - what's next? How do you get source? What do you do with mkv files? Square pixels? Frame rates?! To outline or not to outline? Do I really need a clip database? Let's talk about it all! Break on Through: Getting Beyond the Block (mods: Minim Calibre, thewightknight) Come share tips and tricks for defeating a creative block. Why We Write: Fandom Needs You! (mod: keerawa) This panel is aimed at aspiring writers, experienced writers dipping their toes into fanfiction, fanfic writers who've been going through a dry patch, or anyone looking to get the creative juices flowing. Topics will vary based on the participants, but might include how to start, where to find cheerleaders and betas, where to post, how to get over that hump and throw ourselves into writing something we and other fans will love. I'm sure the FBI has a file on me: research and fandom (mod: Minim Calibre) Ever find yourself needing to know the marriage requirements in places you'll never live? In-depth information on weaponry? Best ways to hide a body? And, of course, sex tips you may or may not ever need. Come share your tales of research gone wild and/or pick up research tips and tricks from your fellow fans. Oral Not!Fic (mod: bessyboo) In this workshop, we’ll define what oral not!fic is, talk a little about how to create it, and then finish up by creating an oral not!fic before the panel is over! Cosplay 101 (mod: bessyboo) Have you ever wanted to get into cosplay, but weren’t sure how or where to start? This panel is for you! We’ll discuss strategies for choosing/designing a character & outfit, and putting together a costume (for both DIY & “I am 0% crafty” options!) Makeup Fandom 101 (mods: bessyboo, visionshadows) Do you not wear makeup because you find it intimidating, but would like to start? Are you a total makeup pro who loves to talk brands and share your knowledge? Maybe you're somewhere in between, but want to know how that person on tumblr achieved that super sweet eye look or particular nail art you loved. This panel is for all of you, as well as anyone else who wants to come talk everything from skin care to shadow to nail polish. (There may be a makeup swap at the end of the panel!)