whenever i'm left alone at the café counter i have to battle the impulse to become a tricksterish wizard in a storybook. be polite to me and i will aid you in your quest; speak rudely, and you will receive the worst cup of coffee anyone has ever had, guaranteed

We don’t exactly live in a world built for humans, do we?  There’s no guidebook for happiness or success or a sense of place in the world, and the people claiming to have one are really just trying to sell you something.  We spend most of our little lives trying to make these feelings fade away, or find something to replace them. […] I know it’s  little pretentious but we’re all searching for a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives, and those things are hard to come by.  There’s a little bit of nothing in all of us.  And we’d like to fill it with something. Opening your web-browser and seeing someone who seems to have it figured out – making you feel better and entertaining you, and seeming to attract an audience on this roulette wheel of a planet – that’s powerful.  There’s someone who seems to understand what they’re supposed to be doing.  And it’s working.  That’s all anyone really wants. Sure, in retrospect, a bunch of people wanting to be exactly like the [Angry Video Game Nerd] sounds silly, but he knew who he was: he was the angriest gamer you’ve ever heard.  We can laugh -  in fact, you’re supposed to – but that’s a human being with purpose.  There’s someone who’s not anxious about their place in the world anymore.    It’s very difficult not to want that completeness for yourself.  Not to just be like someone but to be them – to attain that sense of knowing.  In real life, James Rolfe is a human being, with all sorts of problems and fears, but that doesn’t stop people from wanting to be like the person he seems: someone who knows their place in the world. […] I do worry that there are people out there who will never get the chance to become who they are because they’re too busy trying to be like someone else – who at best has it figured out for themselves just a little bit. I feel like I know who I am, and how to live my life, and that makes me feel happy and somewhat complete.  And I don’t think I’d have ever found myself if I was trying to chase someone else’s sense of completeness.  Basically, no one knows how to live your life.  And you might not either.  But the only person who’s going to figure it out is you.  And you won’t find that by trying to be ‘the next That-Person’. You can only be the first of whoever it is that you are.

Hbomberguy (Harry Brewis) Plagiarism and You(tube) Why Do People Plagiarise? Timestamp: 3:43:38 3 December 2023

Sometimes I feel the urge to swat at him like a cat and just knock him the fuck over

part of me knows that love magic is weird and invasive when done without consent and the other part of me desires her carnally and wants to cuddle her no matter what got me there

Urge to write a fic with a Pedro Boy as Death even though I already wrote one 😬

got this email today and remembered that the big boss at work said something in a meeting that would make such a good title along these lines

What if I posted n*fw art again 🤭

Every year I have the intrusive thought to dress up as St Mary of Egypt for All Saints

what if i just watched 3 movies in one day again

settling in to relax with a nice bloodcurdling horror novel, but unfortunately the author has made the mistake of mentioning viking age archaeology in the first chapter and now I might just defect to go read the Cat Jarman book my mum got me for my birthday instead

me looking at drafts of fics I had started a long time ago….. hmmmm should I go back to these ideas?

♣ ah yes the urge to completely redo my blogs color scheme returns.

Hm.

the temptation to start doing 4:20 posts to match rorys 11:11 posts

I played Alan Wake American Nightmare and what can I say these two games came be so allegory for mental health

so tempted to make a tiktok in my ahsoka cosplay

gazing at all my abandoned side blogs. maybe this time would be different.. (<- lying)