#but thats okay bcs im probably not the only one
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only love
#so#im not over these two yet#but thats okay bcs im probably not the only one#but fr they are more tragic than romeo and juliet#grindeldore#albus dumbledore x gellert grindelwald#dumbledore x grindelwald#grindelmads#gellert grindelwald#albus dumbledore#fantastic beasts
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SPEAKING OF WHICH are there like any chill wizard101 discord servers or group chats that I could join. Or if anyone just wanna add me on discord shoot me a tumblr DM because I'm lonely and I like you guys :)
#ive had this thought for a while BUT IM JUST SHY. but after the soap opera morganthe dream i just had i need wizard friends to yell at#i got like one wizard mutual on discord already. if youre reading this you know who u are. love you /p <3#other than that one person NONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS ON DISCORD PLAY THE GAME AND IM LOBELY#I WANNA TALK ABOUT WIZARDS AND SHIT#altho ill probably be a useless discord discussion partner because i have no literary comprehension-#-and i havent played the source material in years. okay#all my knowledge on wizard101 is either personal headcanons im now considering as facts or secondhand knowledge from the internet#also my ocs. i love talking about my ocs even though they have the depth of cardboard#ALSO LOVE HEARING ABOUT OTHER PPLS OCS THATS MY FAVORITE THING TO READ FROM MY FRIENDS#like you could dm me at 4 in the morning to talk about your ocs i would be so happy#altho fair warning i can suck at dms bc im an anxious little chihuahua so if ur gonna add me i must warn u. i text back 5 years later#either i send 200 messages in the span of 5 minutes or you wont hear from me until we're both 30. sorry thats just the autism for u#BUT YEAH if anyone wants to add me they can#this fandom is like the only fandom in the world im comfy with interacting with LMAO#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts
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how many piercings does rm stan have?
...so many, anon.
So...So...Many.
he also quite literally wants more but management implemented a urgent ravenstanban on him putting more holes & reckless, ~juvenile~ piercings on the 'Face of PunkRock Super Band Crimson Dawn'.
he complained soooo much!!!! he was like Okay But Kenny Got To—and they were like raven, kenny is kenny!!!! kenny plays bass and wears the skull face mask, you are The Lead Singer Of The Band, smh.
laaaaame!!!! whack!!!!
why does everyone hate fun and Hot Boy Shit?
speaking of!
welcome to the ravenstan piercing whore couTOUR. <3
( i got weirdly specifically & passionate abt this — soz )
so he has his eyebrow pierced — it's his left one. one of my favorite things i've written lately is that the two dots go from being a colon to a semi-colon when he furrows his brow, haha. he also does wiggle his eyebrow at little kids at the childrens hospital to make them laugh. also the eyebrow piercing has no significance...i just think its cool, lol. but pep!stan wanted to pierce his eyebrow so raven is living his dream...which is actually a nightmare tbh...being a rockstar sucks. :/
i think his nose is pierced in two places? i want to say he's got a lil nose ring on the left side also and his septum is pierced...love u rae. i feel like the nose ring is usually just a lil silver ring moment or its a stud if he...can't find a nose ring...he loses everything, jersey does organize all his lil emo boy hot topic jewelry later btw. i think that happens even before they are dating bc kyle worries abt him, aaa!
anyways! i think the septum is also p standard, like usually its just the little spheres on the ends, sometimes cool spikes happen? i think they were stars once bc i love starboy stan -- but i also saw this really sick one on pinterest that is bat shaped and i got OBSESSED w/ it! i think that happens sometimes on special occasions bc its COOL!!!!
okay...uhhhhh, so his ears are pierced like Everywhere. in every possible place. i think a lot of them are also just little ring moments, studs and stuff, but his industrial is in and i do think R-A-V-E-N is engraved on it, also sometimes there are little lightning bolts or spikes or xs or lil emo boy crosses hanging off the armada of ear piercings on ravens ears that match the big cross earring which i feel like...looks like this? when the big cross isn't in i feel like its usually something sick like OMG ONE TIME IT WAS A BIG SWORD??? or like a skeleton guy hanging off!!! an anatomically correct human heart?
speaking of skulls and skeletons and things!!!!! THE ICONIQUE RAVEN LIP RING!!!!!! it is just a normal ring sometimes like everything else, but i think the ravenstan signature is the one that looks like a sick ass skeleton hand like??? HELLO??? HES SO COOL?
speaking of being rlly cool, if hes feel really spicy, i feel like he breaks out the crazy hot boy lip ring chain that connects to his ear? idk how to explain that...like This? like the edgy lip ring chain cuff? either way, i am obsessed, he is giving half mexican rockstar miyamura from horimiya. and that's so real bc izumi is gods secret emo angel tbh.
the lipring chain thing...does make kyle extremely feral, btw. like the lip ring in general already makes him feral but...Whew! also i do think he has a little chain that matches the sun and moon one on kyle's glasses BC THEY ARE GAY AND REALLY EXTRA AND MATCH!!!!
ravesey is truly a opposites attract-ive uber fine as hell mega sexy power couple i love them so badddd!!!! pleeease kiss me aaaaa
okay so listen hES NOT ALLOWED TO GET HIS NIPPLES PIERCED AND RAVEN WAS LIKE BOO YOURE ALL SO LAME!!!!! but hes quite literally not supposed to draw attention to the chest area ( which...is that why they put him in the tiny little pants? but also they do still put him in the tiny shirts...however as scandy as he is 25/8 no one has EVER seen raven of crimson w/o a shirt on and everyone is down absolutely horrendous about it...kyle...included...*sprays w/ water* )
also the ex cd guitarist ( who was also a college student, particularly in the area of pre-med/being a surgeon ) was like so i did a lot of research and after top surgery, trying to get pierce things around there is not a good idea, its not super safe also, ur nips could fall off.
and ravenstan was like omg ur being Paranoid!!! itll be fine and then one day, oh my GOD, it was just the guys being dudes and it was 147309473 degrees in the CD manwhoresion bc its old af and ravenstan whipped his shirt off and everyone was staring at him and he was like Jesus Christ You Guys Quit Objectifying Me skdlhs and they were like rAVEN YOU ONLY HAVE ONE NIP SLKHDSLKDLSKHDLKHDS AND HE WAS LIKE EXCUSE ME AND WAS LIKE OHHHHHHH MY GOD WHERE THE FUCK IS IT????
when i tell you they were screaming, crying and throwing up, on their hands and knees searching high and low, HEEEELP!!!! also dw, they found it BUT OHHHHHH MY GOD IT WAS SO FUNNY, he had to get it surgically reattached, all was well...but that dream died with like all of the sensation in his chest area p much...amazing.
but like…
are you really bros if u don't drop everything to look for ur other bros nipple graft & give him positive affirmations during his panic attack?
when i tell you the crimson dawn boys were soul bonded....i mean it. they were literally brothers, i love them but shit happens...smh.
OKAY LASTLY THO!!!!! so i think c.d. was raising money for charity bc they are my charity kings and kenny, being very unhinged, was like okay if we get This Many streams on blood moon i will pierce whatever part of ravens body u guys want wHILE RAVEN WAS IN THE BATHROOM?! IM FUCKING??? he came back and was like ok why is everyone laughing wtf was going on and kenny was like, dw worry just uh...how is ur pain tolerance...and do u have an innie or outie belly button for science and he was like eXCUSE ME KHJSLHS
anyways...they were sloshed, as per usje, it was NOT management approved they did it ON STREAM HELP, raven like PASSED OUT, incredible...oh my god. but now ravens belly button is pierced lmaooooooo, i am crying he was not stoked but he put the cool ass pentagram belly button piercing in and it matches the sick waist chain and hes kinda feeling himself tbh...hes so Fine...pray 4 kyle.
i think...that's it? he do b thinking about that nose chain piercing or the labret kENNY WAS TRYING TO HAVE HIM GET THE HIP ONES AND HE WAS LIKE KENNY NO MORE PIERCING THINGS ON THE LOWER HALF OF MY BODY GO TO HORNY JAIL!!!! like i personally think he would have slayed that w the edgy hip tattoos BUT ANYWAYS HES STANBANNED FROM PIERCINGS! but thats ok the only piercing hes looking forward to rn...is jerseys piercing gaze.
amen, gaymen, live laugh love ravesey world domination and hot boy ravenstan with all the fruity emo boy saucy lead singer boy piercings!
-uncle nina, who is surprised my son's belly button piercing did not get infected because that was seriously unethical and unsterile, also i'm still laughing abt raven losing a nipple, that was so unserious
#sorry this was so weirdly detailed#i am very passionate about all the ravenstan piercings#they are very cute to me#like the lip ring w the lip ring chain is my favorite thing ever like he is soo fione there is no reason for that level of harlotry#when i tell u kyles type is literally just cute pathetic goth boy#with all the lil emo boy piercings and the combat boots and the cool dyed hair but is also gods sweet angel#thats so real of him tbh#when u think raven is when u have scary dog privledge but its actually just jersey who...ok ill go into it later#but he pierced One Ear...he was too baby to get the other one pierced like he got swindled into it bc someone was like You Wont!#which is u say that to kyle he is like OKAY BET#but yeah no he had a panic attack in the claires he could not do the other one THEY SAID THEY WERE PIERCING ON THREE THEY PIERCED IT ON ONE#he was not having it omg so its like the only thing abt him thats asymmetrical but the same way that kyle having stan ask for stuff#helps him get confident kyle having things abt him that arent completely level or perfect help him fight his ocd and control issues#love them omg#my sons#also all the raven jewelry is silver w like red accents sometimes bc crimson dawn nation we are UP#when his hair was a little red...truly immaculate content#literally if stan is in gold jewelry its not his and its probably like a kyle necklace or sometimes he steals the other gold kyle sun dangl#earring when he misses him and its the only thing he doesnt lose besides the red heart glass vial necklace#ANYWAYS IM DONE NOW IM OBSESSED
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mmm read a hurt/comfort Zoro fic recently and like. I get it now. That guy DOES hurt so pretty. kinda wanna try my hand at it.
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A voice disappeared.
Zoro stopped in his tracks, feet rooted to the spot.
Who was it? Where? How-?
Just barely, he managed to block a blade aiming for his neck.
Luffy was ahead of him, laughing his head off. The cook was a bright flaming beacon in the sky.
The rest? C'mon take a count, Zoro. Make sure.
Usopp. Nami. Chopper. Jinbei. Robin. Cook. Luffy.
What? Two? No, where were-
His breath hitched as he blocked another attack.
Calm down. Take a breath. Count again.
Usopp. Nami. Robin. Cook. Luffy.
Fuck. They couldn't-
No, they had to have left the battlefield. These guys were smallfry, even for the so called "weakling trio".
Zoro took a moment to focus on the enemy around him. He let off a tatsumaki before focusing again.
One at a time, Zoro. Come on.
Usopp.
Robin.
Sanji.
Zoro jerked, eyes wide and searching frantically.
"No, no no no no no. He can't have-" Luffy would never leave before the battle was done, not without making some kind of grand exit. He wouldn't leave without telling Zoro- telling anyone- about it.
He wouldn't up and disappear into thin air like that. Not unless-
Zoro shook his head roughly. They were fine, he just couldn't see them. It would be too much of a coincidence for them all to disappear like that. He just needed to count again, then regroup with Usopp, Robin, and the cook, and figure out what was going on.
Stay calm, Zoro. Losing your head won't find your friends.
So, again, Zoro breathed. And Zoro counted.
Usopp.
The only voice left, was Usopp.
Zoro wasted no time.
He sprinted as fast as he could, cutting down anyone in front of him almost as an after thought, as he bulldozed towards Usopp's voice.
He'd nearly made it too, when some dead man kicked his side hard enough to stop him in his tracks.
Zoro turned to him, a snarl on his face. "Get out of my way before I kill you."
"Huh?" The man sneered. "I should be saying the same thing, watch where you swing those swords, asshole."
Zoro was about to retort when he noticed Usopp's voice moving away from him. He didn't have time for this.
Without warning, Zoro moved to slice through his opponent and, to his surprise, the man blocked it with ease.
"You wanna go? Here and now?" the man growled. "I'll kick your fucking ass."
This man- Zoro has never met him before, but nonetheless felt he would need to pay him his full attention to have a chance at winning.
But Usopp was getting farther and farther-
Oh, Zoro could hit himself.
"USOPP!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the man. "STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE, I'LL BE THERE SOON!"
Usopp didn't respond, but he stopped moving, and that was good enough for now.
"Hey!" The man yelled, pressing down on Zoro's swords. "Whatever you need him for can wait until after our battle's over. He's got his own problems to deal with."
Zoro didn't bother wasting his breath. He cut and slashed, throwing attack after attack without abandon. It didn't matter if he was wasting his energy, he needed to get to Usopp before- before-
The man, infuriatingly, blocked almost every blow, and got a few hits in on Zoro himself.
Zoro would get to Usopp, even if it killed-!
Suddenly, there was a crackle in the air and all at once, Zoro's nerves lit up with pure unfiltered pain.
He dropped to his knees, blurry vision wavering on black shoes. He couldn't feel his arms. Or his face. And his head was getting lighter and lighter.
Zoro's fading thoughts were prayers, to a god he didn't believe in, to keep his friend safe.
-
"GYAHHH, ZORO'S GONNA KILL ME!"
"Nami-swan, a little help please?" Sanji said, voice uncharacteristically strained.
"If you're asking, how can I say no?" Nami said, smirking. "Get out of the way... now!" The moment Sanji pushed off Zoro's swords to hop away, she brought down her Thunderbolt Tempo on top of Zoro. He fell to his knees before crumbling to the ground, twitching.
"You could've knocked him out on your own though, why ask for my help?" Nami asked.
"Ah well, it seemed he had a couple screws loose and I didn't want to kill what little braincells were remaining." Nami nodded in understanding.
The two of them turned to Usopp as he inched his way closer. He carefully prodded Zoro's thigh with his boot. "He's really unconscious, right? Not gonna get up anytime soon?"
Nami shrugged. "It's always hard to tell with him. But don't worry," -she stood tall, holding out her Climatact- "I'll shock him as many times as necessary."
"That means I get to live another day, so you have the Usopp deal of approval." Usopp gave her a thumbs up.
"What'd you even do to get him so pissed at you, Usopp?" Nami asked.
"Nothing!" He paused and looked away. "Well, nothing recently."
"He wasn't just mad," Sanji said. "He looked..." Scared, Sanji wanted to say. But the word was so... simple. Too simple. And it didn't explain the desperation in his eye. The wet sheen. The way he hardly blinked.
The way he kept himself facing the direction Usopp was in, revealing his constant use of Haki.
This wasn't just Zoro scared. This was Zoro terrified.
And Sanji had never seen him terrified before.
"...off," Sanji settled on, furrowing his brow. "He looked off."
Nami and Usopp hummed in thought.
The three of them stared down at Zoro's prone body. An ominous dark puddle started growing under him.
The three of them sighed.
"I'll call Chopper-" Usopp felt a tug on his ankle. He looked down. Zoro's hand was holding his boot. "I thought you said he was unconscious!" he yelled, trying to break his grip unsuccessfully.
Sanji poked Zoro with his shoe. Zoro didn't move. "He's still unconscious, so you're gonna have to be his teddy bear."
"What?! No!" He gripped onto Sanji's shirt. "Sanji-kun pleaaaaase free me before my ankle's crushed in his sleep!"
Sanji rolled an eye. "You'll be fine."
"Then can you go get Chopper? Zoro's losing a lot of blood."
"The mosshead'll be fine too. Also," -Sanji pointed to Luffy and Chopper doing some kind of strange combo attack, with Chopper in Heavy Point using Luffy as a whip- "I don't wanna break up their fun."
"Sanji-kun," Nami piped up. "Go get Chopper, please."
"Of course, Nami-swan!" Sanji immediately ran off.
-
The two of them quietly watched him go.
"Did you see what caused this?" Usopp asked.
Nami shook her head. "I know about as much as you do: Zoro suddenly taking out a big group at once and then charging towards you." She bit her lip. "I don't think he recognized Sanji."
Usopp sighed, squatting down to pull the bandana from green hair. He stared at the slackened face of his friend, hands tightening in dark fabric.
"What happened to you, Zoro?"
#one piece#roronoa zoro#nemo the writing ho#oh crap i think i accidentally started a multi-chapter when i meant o write a drabble aaaaa#the gist of this is. devil fruit or marine weapon or something. fucks with zoros head. so he thinks his crew has disappeared one by one#and its like. a subtle thing. which is why nobody notices until Zoros bulldozing toeards Usopp#tbh i have no clue where to go from here i just wanted to cause him some hurt#ack. this has not enough zoro pain#ah well. late night drabbles are. well. late night drabbles.#ohhh perhaps. perhaps even after this whole thing is resolved. zoro has hella trouble sleeping.#bc hes afraid he'll fall asleep and he eont be able to hear his friends voices anymore#so he takes as many night watches as possible. he doesnt take naps anymore. stays up even without having watch#all this just to obsessively check and recheck his Haki.#and then visit each and every one of them to confirm with his own eye that they were still here. still alive#haha yeah. itd probably take awhile to be comfortable enough to sleep again#maybe the only way he feels safe to do so at first is to be in a huge pile with his friends sleeping on or around him#oh fuck now im making myself hella sad#okay thats enough for tonight its bed time
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FOR LIKE. CONTEXT. idiot's guide is broken up into two arcs, arc 1 is... almost done i think. hopefully. there's still kind of a ways to go for arc 2
so essentially i'm thinking about, once i do finish writing and editing arc 1, starting to post those chapters on a once a week schedule. then if i haven't finished arc 2 by the time i run out, i'd take a break from posting until it does get finished. if it is finished by then i'll just continue posting lmaofjdsklfjd
#talk tag#HOPEFULLY THIS MAKES SENSE LMAO#uhhh. idk what else#like okay i knowwwwwww i know i said im waiting and i WILL if thats what the poll says but also#i am very excited for some of the stuff i already have written LMAO#and i feel like posting it and getting like feedback and shit will help motivate me maybe????? idk shrugs#I REALLY REALLY WANT TO SEE PPL FIGURE IT OUT#i like. legit. always forget that ppl dont know as much as me bc its My Fic#and i assumed ppl would know [redacted] only to realize that. its not explicitly stated or even heavily implied. just lightly implied#so it makes sense that ppl Wouldn't know. and now i am very very very very very excited to see when people figure it out LMAO#among other things#yes there are MULTIPLE secrets to be figured out#though one of them i think is probably not. like. i don't think anyone's gonna figure it out until it's Actually Revealed In Text#or very few people anyway#either way i'm excited akl;fjdklsjfd#i looooooove seeing ppls theories whether they're right or wrong tbh
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nvm turns out i just bring more tma doodles
(image 1): "maybe if i pretend to have a nervous breakdown elias will let me leave" "i think im in love with my boss"
(image 2): "DRUGS GIVE ME DRUGS GIVE ME DRUGS-" "can you feel the love tonight~"
#im so bored bc its like 2am but i cant sleep bc i had a nap in the middle of the day#so im just like sitting here... wide awake.......#whatever#to no ones surprise i am once again drawing jon in a fancy little outfit#this time its a jumpsuit#they're so sillay to ME. to you its a tragedy but im different#im rewatching tma rn and i just started s3 and ik i posted about ut yesterday but martin is so so so funny#all jon does so far is: be a little prick to martin specifically. stalk his coworkers. and get accused of murder and then disappear#and martin is like 😳😳😳#i believe that they only really started building a connection after prentiss trapped martin in his flat bc jon is noticably nicer to martin#and even in s2 when everything is falling apart btwn jon and tim and jon is becoming more irrational- martin cares about him#so i think s2 is when martin was like oooh okay. so im in love with him. esp with daisy's interview like thats proof to me that he was-#-at least crushing on jon at that point lol#and his continued faith in jon leading up to and proceeding leitners murder is just extra proof that martin cared a lot about jon from-#-prentiss onward#oh also that song martin is singing is na na na by mcr and jon is singing can you feel the love tonight by elton john#in my heart i believe jon went out for drinks at least once with the s1 crew even tho i know in my brain he probably wouldnt </3#my art#doodles#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#jonmartin#sorry if they're hard to see im allergic to good phones and its dark in my room rn
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Philippus? Wym philippus this is a wholeass other woman?????? She's white?????? Guys come on now
ALSO cursed white Euboea in this same sequence.... homeboy she's Asian please stop
Joe Phillips I'm sorry but this is some shitty ass guest pencilling how can you not know anything abt what these people look like thats literally your job... you also just needed to read the issue before this to know?
Editors should have caught this one these are major Amazon characters
#also i did a quick wiki check for one thing and basically confirmed that i was right about this entire arc so i win i guess 💪💪💪💪#like “the amazons are starting some crazy murder shit!” are they really now. which amazons may i ask? are you sure its not the bana-#oh yep its the baba mighdall. well then. TOTALLY didnt see this coming (said w love)#i mean its like maybe im being perceptive but they literally showed two of them in their armor and had one say phthia aka one of the#founders of the bana. like okay i had to do a wiki to check that and obvi id know slightly more than a pérez run reader abt them#(but not much honestly ive read the same stuff they wouldve just plus some fandom osmosis/knowing who artemis is) but i digress. do think he#maybe could have put showing them off but i understand the motive of not wanting readers to go months thinking the amazons were chopping#ppls heads off. but they could have teased the mind control red herring (probably? think it was a red herring although it could pop back up#the arc is still ongoing) a little bit more considering weve had dr psycho starting shit for the past 4 (at LEAST) issues but well whatever#anyways the pencilling on this one needed help like its not even a coloring issue at the core of it its legit this guest guy drawing#totally different people... very lame#anyways maybe im too quick to blame it all on the bana i am only halfway through the arc#like i do think it is the bana. i think thats the answer. but again dr psycho IS causing problems and theres been hints of the cheetah being#involved (“animal attack” killings + a shot of her in arkham) AND circe was namedropped (although now we know it was dr psycho) but im still#slightly suspicious bc there seems to be possesed animals... like they are v much laying different hints and pathways here#but i think its the bana. i think its psycho fucking around and also the bana and MAYBE a psycho controlled cheetah or the bana mimicing her#patterns. or are the bana even there if psychos involved??? he could just be fucking around then- okay you know what. maybe im less sure of#this than i thought and should just read more. wait but how would psycho even know about the bana to have ppl hallucinate hed just use the#themyscirans-- okay i need to read more im getting distracted. the bana are definitely involved though im calling it. its them and maybe#psycho. and maybe cheetah. and maybe circe but likely not bc we already established that was a false lead. unless that was also a trick. and#WHAT ABT ARES ALL THE STOLEN ARTIFACTS HAD TO DO WITH WAR--#.... guys im losing it. fuck it im saying its all giganta and calling it a day i cant do this#no but i love how this mystery is set up its like they just dropped clues for every single ww villain onto it and said “here. good luck.”#this is before the big ww crossover too so it could actually be all of them im losing my mind here. WHO IS IT#ive twisted myself in a circle here i dont know anything now. only that i did call it if it was the bana. or if theres mind control or smth#sus about heracles cup. i also called that although its seeming less and less likely now that the bana and psycho are likely involved. and#maybe cheetah. and circe. and ares. guys im falling apart here#what was the point of this post then? oh shitty guest pencilling and editor flops. the editor flop part i can understand im sure they were#busy even if this is a big thing to miss imo. the penciller though is just silly come on now. someone should have caught that. anyways--#swishy liveblogs
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so fitzjames was. a mailman. basically.
#thats literally what he was during his time on the euphrates#okay but au (probably modern) where fitzjames is the incredible leggy mailman who totally rocks those shorts and delivers mail to crozier's#box every morning. and naturally one morning right as james arrives neptune gets out and bounds right up to him for pets#and crozier follows after neptune to make sure he doesnt run away only to see that nope not running away just being TOTALLY loved on by the#RIDICULOUSLY hot mailman — who chooses then to look up and send a RIDICULOUSLY charming smile to crozier when he sess him approaching#and idk where im going with this LOL but yeaH#just. jfj in mailman shorts with the lil mailman cap tilted jauntily atop his curls and francis losing his MIND over it#plus neptune bc we love neptune#james fitzjames
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hey *takes what was supposed to be just a visualization in case i ever wanted to draw overhallidays place in the future and then spends 4 hours on it
#📗 my post#🧯 overhalliday (s/i)#yeah ummm yeahn . hey . theres a lot in here let me divulge in the tags#hes supposed to live in like a town thats pretty Scrunched In with buildings kind of surrounding the place so the debug building behind#is supposed to mimic the back alley area that he uses for all his scraps && parts. really id imagine at some point he put a tarp over it#so metal doesnt rust && whatnot . but theres not really a way to do that i think in the sims#the bathroom being right where the stairs are is both a) bc i wrote that in a fic b) sometimes houses are dumb okay we cant all win#there isnt an operating table apparently?? so im using a lounge chair as a stand in and honestly it works well#really if i wanted to i wouldve added like soo much more clutter because he is. not the most organized#ftr i think like every sims bed has a headboard and he DOES NOT have that hes got a bed frame and a mattress that is IT!!!#^ not every sims one . the ones that dont talks abt...bed bugs. which . ew#and for the record also i think his place is only unique in the sense that you walk in and theres a workshop . exterior wise theres#probably like a bunchhh that look the same as youre walking down . all scrunched together#i actually donthave a set place in mind that he lives i just know its like. a Town#a town that doesnt have a hardware store . so he takes a train if he ever needs supplies & it takes abt 10 minutes to get to the city#so hes not like. Cut Off per se but the locals definitely know his deal enough#idk looking at it and imagining a bunch side by side makes me think of likee. like. norway? <- my biases it was like the 2nd thing i google#it would be nice to live by a bunch of water#but also im . i dont know anything abt architecture this very easily could read as somewhere in america or something like that#idk but in my head it snows a lot there thats like all i have thought out
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screaming bc theres a song (no i wont tell u what one but its by an artisit i dont listen to rly to much except for the last two days but i do like what of her music iv heard) that like. i rly feel like fits a ship (I WILL DEFF NOT TELL U WHICH ONE !!!!! but its like. not one i rly ship tht much but i do think its cute and im slowly getting more into it) in like. a weird way bc like. im not like omg this song is so this ship its so cute i mean the first time i listened to the song which was a while back when it first came out i was like this feels like ppl r gonna talk abt it w tht ship or like the song feels very like. like a fanfiction to me like generally and to me i feel like its like a modern au fanfic for the ship nd i listened to the song again today nd iv been thinking abt tht but the thing is i looked to see if anyone in any context has put that ship with that song before expecting to find lots of stuff but i literally found NOTHING its ubsurddd !!!
#like. searched tumblr w the ship + song name nd the ship + artist name? no results#went to google w either? just got results w either the ship or the song or tumblr blogs#that showed up bc they had prob posted seperate posts abt the musicain/song and the ship#and like. a fucking archive.org pdf of a totally unrelated article on the first page of google#searched the artist and song name on ao3 showing only options with that ship#in hopes id find a fic titled after a lyric from the song w that in the description?#no resulfs either!!#like i feel insane how has no one ever pointed out this ship w this song ever#i do NOT!! want to be the first one babes. esp since no i feel like im almost definatly wrong#abt it fitting the ship. but i mean im also not thats someone modern au fanfic of them as a song#i mean like. i dont rly ship the ship as said but iv seen what theyre fromm !!!!#okay. the friendship between one of the characters in the ship and another character is a part of like.#why it fits bc w like the framing device of the song it fits#so perhaps i am putting too much emphasis on that friendship idk how much ppl care esp in the context of tht ship alongside it#but they shld care more abt tht friendship like ik general tbh. bc i care more abt tht then the ship tbhh 😭😭#also like. i feel a littol dumb for not realising this earlier but maybe its bc the song is like.#a bit of a timeline on the relationship nd loke. dowsnt mention any point of any dislike#at the beginning and i think that is a thing with is ship but also COME ONN#the song doesnt need to encapsulate every single moment or aspect of the ship for someone somewhere to say it fits#im also kind of like how in character is this but i mean like. its a big the most popular probably ship in a fandom theres lots of ppl who#dont care if its in character thats not a reason someone wldnt have mentioned it either#ik its like. not a big deal ig but im so baffled tht like. no one seems to have seen this popular ship and i think prettty popular when it#released (and that was last! year!) song together that iv become obsessed w finding someone who has#im going to look thru spotify playlists for the ship and ao3 more thoroughly later bit rn im making pancakes <3#flappy rambles#EDIT: also for cotext in not telling the ship not bc i think its ‘cringe’ its bc ik many of u ship it#and again. dont want to b the weird oe w this song that made me think others wld associate it w thw ship#which apparently not a soul hasss !!!!! which is like i said freaking me out a lil bc im sure someone wld have
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okay bosses ranked
S tier: ramon, del lago, verdugo
A tier: mendez, el gigante, the two giants, garrador, twin garradors
B tier: saddler
C tier: el gigante armored
fuck you: both krausers
#my fave boss in the entire game was probably ramon#the area ranking is castle > village > island#of the notable enemies..... all the chainsaw and mallet guys and the armor guys are good. the bugs are gross but fine#the red robe guys suck and i hate the regeneradors with a passion#i LOVE leon luis and the merchant. i love ashley as a character but in the gameplay she was at first terrible and with time okay#bc at the mid point and end she wasnt AS much in the way#and ada was...... okay i guess but she represents a female character design i hate so i dont care which is sad#BUT she did have one of my fave dialgues which was when leon said 'i guess i should be thankful'#and she responds after a beat 'yeah. you should' and something abt her animations and the delivery and the timing was just perfection to me#uhhhhh i guess thats all the important stuff!#i got only a B for my playthrough which is truly the pinnacle of mediocrity hjfjdjdjd#ill have to see when i wanna try professional or harcore and do 100% or anything#im excited to dress leon in all the outfits i unlocked tho!!!!
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i am just about to never talk to anyone again, i have almost no friends or life in person
#i feel rejected by everyone#i slept with one of my closest friends and now hes been avoiding me even tho we had been flirting for months#my partner is upset even though he said it was okay#i haven't talked to my best friend in ages and he hasnt reached out to me so i feel like thats just cut off#im not leaving the house and i feel like i am only bringing the people around me down#things feel good for a bit and then i just feel worse#i probably sprained my hand bc i punched a wall bc i wanted to relapse but the last time i did that my fiance hit them and called me stupid#i keep having truama responses to stuff#i haven't been able to find a job since april and i dont have enough money to keep living anymore#i havent had horomones in almost 2 weeks bc i ran out and haven't been able to get ahold of planned Parenthood bc theyre booked out until#like fuckin dec/jan and they dont ever answer their phones. ive gone so far as to call the ceo of my branch and she cant even do anything#about it.#i want to relapse so fuckin bad#everything is supposed to be going right for me. and its not. i apparently just do this shit to myself. i have to deserve it in some way
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Talking with Fabian and whooooooooo boy that was an conversation and a half...
#miranda talking shit#Uuuh i was kinda rightfully anxious? I told him about how i am a little freak and i basically am down to date 90% of my friends#But i got told by Oliver that it could be i act that way bc i dont want to be abandoned/left so im willing to compromise however they want#Me to... So talked about that with him and yep. We finally got into the whole... 'what are we' business. Or well kinda not directly#He said he didn't want to bring it up but we basically are on the subject so... And how hes worried that i will think too much about him#'i worry the more time we spend together the more your life will revolve around me and you'll value me so much more than i do you'#'it doesnt seem fair to you so ive occasionally not talked with you because i worry about that. You're a great friend but I know how much#You think about people. And im worried if you think about me too much you'll develop feelings or I'll mean more to you than before' i... He#Isnt wrong? Thats kinda how i work. The more people prioritize me the more ill value them and cherish them? But also... Idk if he understod#That i dont actively think about kissing or dating my friends? Its just a thing i know that if anyone asked I'd be down for it. But i dont#Daydream about it or anything. But then again he said some cryptic fabian shit like 'i dont have anyone else to compare with so i assume#What we have is normal. I sometimes want to cross the line to see where i still stand with you after doing it' like bro... Im so sorry i am#I am so far from 'normal' and him having me as his biggest both friend and female/woman in his life is probably such a mess i am crying#Me: ok then cross the line and see how you feel. 'but thats the problem. You dont have a line you're so open and down with everything you#Dont really react badly' I know i... Probably am making things hard for him sometimes but this was an holy shit moment /: hes worried to#Spend too much time with me bc of how i can potentially feel? Meanwhile I'm basically 80%+ of all his social interactions 😭 at one hand i#Appreciate him thinking of me and worry i guess but... Yeah. I told him: listen Fabian. My life does not revolve around you and youre not#The only one i think about. You are safe.' his and mine relationship is my favorite but also i definitely worry bc i know how much what we#Have or talk about or act is his... Only reference for girls basically. I mean outside his mom. He's not had any other girl friends and no#Actual girlfriend. So his reference to whats... Okay and appropriate is basically dictated by me and im seeing that very clear now im kinda#Afraid. Like... Im not normal on any level. If he's basing his view on women on me hes going to have an awful time truly... Idk if i should#Be offended or flattered that he thinks he's the center of my world 😭 like hes not completely wrong. I talk with him multiple times per#Week. But i can also say hes not all i think about at all waking hours lol. I obviously love him and care so much about him but im not#In love with him. Not as far as i know anyway. I dont think of him how i do people i have crushes on for example so yeaah. It bothers me#More that he couldn't just say 'im not into you' bc thats fine. He added the whole element of 'im not sure' like buddy now im going to be#Anxious about that in the future. I guess he have no reference to crushes so he cant tell but like... How do you want me to act so you can#Tell? I want an solid answer putting in an maybe is cruel even to me. This is funny bc tbh i dont even know if i would be able to date him#Even if he said he wanted to. Bc i know his biggest wish is to be a dad and i have nog fully embraced that idea even /: 'i can feel how ego#Centered i am. Assuming im the center of your world like that' at least youre self aware sweetie. Sounded like he was at peace with all we#Said and im here like... Binch there's so much to think about i wish i could read your mind i need more information to understand all this
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we could be pro fortnite gamers
#i'm bored. might mess around and create a manga of my own inside of my own head bc#did you know barbie was right. you actually literally CAN do anything. if you get over the#ohh but im bad ohh this that. if you just do it. you can do so many things. isnt that wild#i know ill probably not even start it and on the off chance i do i'll figure out like.. one character and forget ab it#but thats okay im not good at commitment and unfinished work that had a fun process is fine too#wooooo. dont push yourself to deadlines and standards and goals in everything. just do them. its cool.#this is more of a self talk than anything please do not take life advice from fae that is a horrible idea#the only thing i say you should live by is. Don't listen to anything else#i am a fool hiding in a well worded individual's body
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.
#chronically lonely and not havingn a good time#time to rant#long whiny probably triggering tags below youve been warned#im so fucking alone and its never gonna get better#nothing has ever been okay and nothing will ever be okay and tumblr post by people with so much privilege they have no idea#cant convince me life is ever gonna be okay because its not its just not thats a lie by people who already had money and friends and#stable lives at my age#‟youre too young to know‟ too bad i know how data analysis works and based on almost 18 years of data Nothing ever gets better and it rly#only ever gets worse#im not good at anything and no one likes me and no one ever will. or i will get abandoned by anyone i think i can trust because thats just#the way it always goes#the only escape and the only rational solution at this point is to put a bullet in my head#‟suicide doesnt solve anything‟ what is it not solving. I am the only reason i have problems#if i was not there to experience the problems I have. the problems would not exist#and theyre never gonna get better#if i remove myself from the equation ill never experience a negative emotion or a problem ever again therefore making there no problem#no one would miss me if i was gone and i serve no purpose besides being an annoying burden and a waste of resources#everything would be better without me#oh also i experience no positive emotions that last long enough to matter or that dont get tainted by 10x more negative ones#so staying around to experience positive things doesnt work bc i literally only feel numb or angry or hopeless#btw im in therapy and on 3 psych meds i think im just a lost cause#no point!#this is not a suicide note i have no means of doing so I'm just really frustrated and nothing is okay at all so i needed to rant ok byeeee
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Idk if anyone wants to know where the meow stim (and squeaky stim) came from but I do have a story.
The quick and easy explanation (at least as far as I remember) is that I used to repeat "shut up shut up shut up shut up" every time I thought about some situation where I fucked up. But I was like "oh that's a bad what do replace with?" And I think I eventually replaced it a meow. It also has the bonus of working a million time better bc repeating shut up would agitate me but a meow like. Legit just shuts up my brain lmao.
But now it's a stim I use a lot when overwhelmed or even just existing in addition to its original purpose.
#oh thats nice#im happy#diary#personal#stim#but i also have always mimicked animals as a stim. so a lot of them come from that. im pretty sure i used to meow when younger too#i also hiss. tho i do it much less than i used to. also...shake? or stretch. when i get the tingly feeling#oh then theres popping my lips. whistling. and a few little things i hum that i must finish when i start them#the hums are very specific and always happen when im thinking about a decition or something generally.#poping is an idle stim used to replace the whistle so i dont startle the bunny. same goes for snapping my fingers i think?#...the popping my lips started with me mimicking it from an anime lmao. and from there i couldnt stop XD#i have a lot more stims too. i just like my vocal ones a lot and wanted to talk about those.#i also have a lot of meows? purs? idk theyre sorta like a sigh to me ig?#theyre a very old one so im trying to remember where it comes from but cant quite? probably a meow originally.#oh! also i learned how to nuzzle things from rabbits and pkmn (no i wont explain) oh probably cats too.#i used to do this to my mom a lot when i was younger bc weird behavior was okay back then?#and i also used it with boyfriends when cuddling. but now its mostly for my stuffed animals (like always lmao)#that ones a rly huge show of affection for me lmao. like. my feelings during that are very strong ig?#i also have dermitilimania probably. cuz ive always picked and rubbed at my skin. but it doesnt hurt me bc i think i changed it to not#ive legitimately always done this one. only learned what it was later. but if im chilling im always doing it.#like while reading or talking to friends. and no. i will not stop this. since it doesnt rly damage my skin as far as im aware.#i just pick at what is... dust ig? idk.#...i also have always picked my nose and i cannot stop that bc i get so uncomfortable if my snot dries in my nose. fucking hate it.#also rubbing feet together when i sleep is and always has been necessary since i can remember.#i once asked my mom about it and she did it too so just said everyone does itm#i have now found out that not everyone does it tho. cuz ppl complained about how much i move in bed lmao.#i also hate when others move when sleepimg next to me tho. like!!! ur shaking the whole bed!!!! stop!!!!!!#i dont feel like trying to rememebr more. bye.
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