#but technical limitations aside there is good reason the games stuck with -
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Cyberpunk 2077 is a bad game: Electric Boogaloo
Cyberpunk has a problem that could almost be framed as a poignant and interesting limitation meant to point towards an important element of the genre it takes place in, but is almost certainly just a weakness put there due to development issues and poor writing behind the game.
You lose your agency. A lot.
In video games, where generally most of what separates the experience from watching a video is that agency, this is a problem.
Once again, liberal, unmarked spoilers for the game, and brief mention of suicide to boot.
Here's Johnny
Let's get one thing straight, I quite like Keanu Reeves' work for the game. Writing aside, he gives a good performance, his likeness fits the setting perfectly (even though I used the alternate appearance as soon as I realized it was an option) and having him stuck in V's head to pester and support him ties nicely into the main plot.
I still think it's one of these systems that was not quite finished, or thought out, by the time was released, because how much you and him get along are (sort of) one of three "tracked" percentages on your main menu, along with your fame around Night City, and how close the chip in your head is to killing you.
Or something. It's never really explained, and has even less to do with gameplay.
Ostensibly the only one of these that matters is the Johnny stat; your fame/infamy might trip a few switches in missions but doesn't, for example, change how many enemies show up to a fight with you, or make jobs more complicated because there's heat on your head, and the Relic malfunctions are scripted events that happen only during missions with the main cast of characters. You're never going to have a seizure in the middle of a firefight because you've spent too much time dicking around, so the ticking clock aspect isn't there. Maybe at one point the game cared how much time had actually passed in the world, making it a weighty choice to use the option to go to a location ahead of time and wait for the proscribed hour for a job, or even to catch a few hours of sleep.
I focus on Johnny because even though you yourself are in control when he takes over your body (outside of a few cutscenes) you don't get to play your character. You're playing someone else in their body. And that doesn't rub me the wrong way as, say, the constant drugging and kidnapping you experience in Far Cry 5, a game I have boundless wells of hate for after playing it, it does bother me.
Now here is where I admit I've only played through two of the endings. Three, technically, but the one to skip the final mission and end your story on your own terms (with a bullet) doesn't count for a number of reasons. It doesn't even have an achievement, though the cutscene is emotionally powerful and well done and doesn't seem like a tacked on end. It gives the impression that this was, perhaps, something you'd choose if your dwindling health and ability had gotten to the point where you knew you wouldn't even make it through your last run. But without that pressure, there's no good reason for a person who paid for this AAA title to just ignore one of the few impactful sections of content in the game.
The first ending I got focused on taking a deal from Arasaka, the big corporation in town, the one you've made personal enemies of via your actions in the main story, and, because I chose the Corpo background (yet another pathetically pared down swath of content) the place I thought I would have some connections I could leverage. Technically I did; the game did present dialogue choices that were unique to my background during the tense boardroom presentation, but I have a feeling that the other choices might have something of their own to say there, and in any event it wouldn't change the flow of the mission.
I chose that option because I had not unlocked the secret ending, which seems to depend on a specific series of dialogue choices with Johnny Silverhand in a side mission. I'd still maxed out my friendship with him, I'd become a legend in Night City in my own right, but I guess the developers thought that only by saying the right words at the right time, he'd have enough faith in me to let me do my own thing.
Company Man
So, failing that, I took Arasaka's offer, hoping to fulfill Johnny's dream of taking them down from the inside. Unfortunately for me, doing this made him loathe me, it erased all goodwill, because there was no option to turn this deal into some suitably explosive Fuck You to the corporation that had made my life hell probably from the day V started working there.
You're marched into a boardroom to give testimony to the true events of the inciting incident of the game, but, really, you're not needed at all. A copy of the deceased CEO's mind is what really sways the executives. You're just there for flavor, and so that someone capable can kill all the security that shows up to put an end to the meeting. And when you survive, and make it to the man responsible for all this, you're not even allowed to renege on your deal and blow a hole in his skull, as I dearly, dearly wanted to do.
You're shuffled off to space for a long, drawn-out, but again well executed series of barely interactive sequences. They help you, as they said they would; but you're going to die anyway and they refuse to aid with that. Alright. That sucks. That's what I get for not going with the plans that involve an AI's assistance, basically a god in this setting. That's on me. I said fuck you to their offer to upload me to their servers and chose to live what's left of V's life back on earth. Which was going to suck, since everyone I know's last memory of me is getting into a limo with Japanese Business Satan.
In a game that is all about screwing over oppressive and corrupt authorities, it really sucks that this ending exists at all, let alone one you can choose for yourself rather than something you get railroaded into by burning your other bridges.
Why Can't I Just Shoot Him
Now it's important to note that some missions have secret endings only achievable by ignoring the dialogue going on and using violence to some degree. A rampaging set of proto-AIs can be erased or merged into one for one side job, and Johnny makes clear which he'd prefer you to do, but the best thing is to put a bullet in the core and that somehow frees all of them to do whatever the hell they want. How would you know this is an option? Well, most of the times you're in dialogue in situations like this you can't draw your weapon, or you can't shoot the plot-important NPC by mistake. But sometimes this fucks up too.
Another job has you fall for a scam and you wake up naked and stripped of your weapons in a bathroom, ready to be processed by the local organ and cyberware harvesting gang of Scavengers. While, of course, Johnny mocks you.
Again, it's not the player 'falling' for anything. It's stupid to fork over thousands of eurodollars for a braindance you know nothing about. But it's a side job. You don't want to leave money and experience on the table. Presumably, writers and developers put effort into creating some content behind this offer, so as a player you are encourage not to let it pass you by.
This was tense on my first playthrough because even though I was left with my cyberdeck and quickhacks I had very little defense and stat boosts associated with my clothing. Second run was a lot easier; they didn't take my monowire out while I was unconscious. Why not? Well, that would be rude, I guess. You murder your way through some scavengers, get your stuff back, and off a few more for daring to target you.
At the end of that job, you can go back to the man who tricked you, starting the quest, and tell him to leave town. Or you can, with the right dialogue options? I think? Shoot him, like he deserves for what he did to you and countless others. Except if you decide you're letting him leave, he's invincible and can't be killed as he's running away.
Which is strange, because yet another side job lets you rescue a corporate nobody getting beat on by some NCPD officers, get him to pay you as thanks for saving his life, and then blast him for whatever else he has on him. It's within tolerances for those who want to be as cruel as possible in a video game, sure, but that kind of flexibility just isn't present in the rest of the game.
Why be allowed to kill one nobody to eke out some extra cash, but be barred by honor and programming from ending the life of some guy who generally, genuinely ought to die in order to stop him from doing what he's doing over and over? As separate storylines there may be some reasons to justify why one NPC can be killed and not another, but taken as a whole, what is the message being given to the player?
This isn't about "oh well if I want to shoot the shopkeeper and take all the stuff I want for free, I should be able to do that" theory of gameplay. That doesn't have to be supported, but I think a game is more interesting when it is, even if I don't often play that way. But consistency is important.
Does This Count As NTR
The romance system just isn't great and this is really a sidebar that doesn't deserve it's own post, it barely deserves the attention I'm going to give it, but I just want to complain about it.
The options for who you can romance/fuck are sort of even for a male versus female V. Except, not really. There are a couple NPCs who will fool around with any combination of body and voice/pronouns (because those two are what are tied together, it's weird) and the four plot-important, fleshed out NPCs are a mixed bag. Do I think it's weird that Judy will only fall for a female V of voice AND body type? No, it makes sense, but it's weird from, of all things, a balance perspective. No other NPC cares, it's apparently just down to body type for them.
Also the only male gay option is, like, seventy years old. Yeah, he looks good for his age, and he's got the rocker aesthetic going, but c'mon. I wish River was bi, at least. The fakeout response I got going for it after his mission line was amusing, but it still stung a little.
My point in terms of agency is that there's one plot mandated sex scene, in Johnny's memories and his body doing it, and two that can occur while Johnny's in control of your body, and while you can turn down one of the latter, the other is pretty unavoidable. It doesn't gross me out or anything, but it does bug me because, once again, all this stuff is happening in a cutscene, but it's still my character literally under the control of someone else. I can't even say it's the Director, it's the plot moving things along, it's someone else controlling my body.
Maybe one of the writers had a fetish. Maybe a bunch of them did.
The Illusion of Choice
This probably goes into the bucket of "they didn't have time to make it better" but also rubs up against this strangely deep current of cynicism in the writing of this game, and indeed a lot of the tie-in media. Apparently there are a lot of comics put out either released with the special editions of the game and generally printed; I've read a few of them and they all have downer or at best ambiguous endings that basically say "fuck you, nobody wins". And that's okay for NPCs. It's a shitty setting. But for a PC, nah. It's about winning. Or at least trying to.
A lot of the instances I take umbrage with are ones that are most likely writing issues. An NPC is going to die at the end of a storyline, because the writers said so, it's nothing mechanical; you pull the trigger, or someone else does. Sometimes it's the target of someone's long-nursed grudge, sometimes it's because there are missions down the line that wouldn't trigger if they're still alive, whatever. I know Cyberpunk was initially sold as a game where your choices matter, and that label fell away pretty quick as the game neared release, but when a company like CDPR fucks up this bad it bears repeating to the point of absurdity.
Most of the options left to you tend to be spite-driven, or just easy to write and code: turn off a revolutionary gibberish-spouting computer to piss Johnny off, no reward, just a dick move. Again, making him angry locks you out of more content than it opens up, which restricts the way you play your game purely on what you'll get to see if you don't pick the right choices.
You're not here to make Night City a better place, that was never an option, really, and it doesn't have to be one for a game like this. But the core of cyberpunk (the genre) is taking the power made available to you by capitalism and authority (cyberware and other technological advancements) and turning it against them so lessen their influence on the world.
Did Anyone Even Play This
There was a game ages ago called Alpha Protocol. A sort of espionage Mass Effect-like with tone-based dialogue options and skill trees and relationships with NPCs. The great thing about it was that making someone hate you could still have positive effects for you, sometimes even gameplay events in missions that made things easier, you didn't have to suck up to everyone and then have to pick between who you wanted to like you more when faced with a binary choice. If you make someone absolutely hate your guts for being too violent, they can make it easier to sneak past enemies because they're constantly cautioning you to be more subtle. It may not fit with your playstyle, but it's still a mechanical bonus. I'm not sure I've seen any other game do something like this for earning the ire of NPCs or groups of them besides a gain in reputation among their enemies.
In Cyberpunk you can, occasionally, treat someone like shit and they'll still call you for help with the next mission because You Gotta. So the writing is carefully moderated to make sure you can't be too much of a dick. And, you know what, that's fair. If the writers decide they have a floor for how big of a jerk the PC can be, that's their decision. But presenting the player with strangely jerk-centric options that might even reward you greater than being a nice, or even just humane person, muddies those waters.
The Final Fuck You
The other ending I got, on my second run, is the secret ending. As mentioned, you have to choose specific dialogue options with Johnny in a side mission, and generally have a good relationship with him. The internet seems unsure about the specifics but there's definitely a gameplay flag denoting whether you will or will not get the option for this ending.
Which you do by agreeing to Johnny's suggestion that you cede control of your body to him, he brings in his old friends for the final run on Arasaka, and then waiting about five minutes at the dialogue options before he cracks and says, well, yeah, maybe you could do this all on your lonesome.
This is a problem. For a lot of reasons.
It's just tied to how much he likes you, and has nothing to do with that fame stat, or even how strong you are. I could switch on my Sandevistan and cut a dozen people in half with blades sticking out of my arms before the first one hit the ground, but unless I said the one specific thing to Johnny in an old oil field, he wouldn't believe me capable.
Having to wait at dialogue options is actively discouraged in other parts of the game. A lot of conversations will have the NPC bark something at you if you take too long going over your options. As someone with attention issues who alt-tabs out of my games to chat with my friends or fiddle with music playing in the background or even just getting up to use the bathroom with my headphones on, that's really annoying. And it teaches you not to have a lull in the conversation. So you would very likely never encounter this naturally, you have to look up how to do it. And that's a game design sin.
The ending is pretty satisfying, in terms of the experience. You basically walk in the front door and kill your way through Arasaka's deadliest troops, including a fight with Adam Smasher with zero assistance. When I got to that fight in my first run I think it was implied that an allied netrunner took a chunk of his health out for me. This V had no such help. And the fucker has health gates, so every once in a while I'd have to back off and let him finish staggering because it would be ungentlemanly to continue slicing his very expensive armor to ribbons, apparently. This is a dicey situation to be in given that the secret ending mission has the penalty that if you die, once, you go straight to credits. Thank god for Cheat Death, Biomonitor, and Second Heart.
The real problem is the writing at the end. After doing this all on your own, after inviting an AI into the sensitive systems of Arasaka and giving them the keys to the kingdom, as promised they assist you in untangling Johnny's soul from yours. But guess what! You're still dying. And this time you find out that somehow, you're only dying because it's you in your body. If Johnny keeps it, he gets to live out the rest of your natural life as you.
How that fucking works is not well explained. But, again, whatever. Bad writing, it's the mood they wanted to work with, probably has something to do with future content having to take place shortly after the end of the game. Speaking of which, I'm definitely not getting the DLC (supposedly) coming out later this year, not on launch at least. And, probably, not at all.
But in this best ending, if you choose to go back to your body and live out the time you have left, you become the new owner of the Afterlife, the premier bar for edgerunners in Night City, and the start of the real biggest job of your career: robbing the Crystal Palace, an orbital casino that caters to the ultra of the ultra-wealthy. The game of course ends on you floating through space towards it, no idea how that's going to play into the DLC. I guess you're just assumed to have pulled it off before you do whatever content they're going to give us next.
In a lot of ways it's a great note to end on. You got everything you wanted, you got more, in fact. Unfortunately you can't escape your early death, but at least you have more of an idea of when it's coming. An even bigger job than the one you just did, one that's already of historic proportions.
It's very hard to read in this low-res pamphlet, but again, it bears mentioning.
RESTAURANS.
A typo. In your face. At the apex of your story, after getting the secret ending to a difficult game, one already plagued with numerous issues.
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Werewolves are still iffy in EDH
With the release of Innistrad: Midnight Hunt, I’m sure many people myself included were hoping that the set’s Werewolf focus would solve some of the issues with the tribe in Commander. Having been a big fan of the creature type’s mechanics and design in Shadows block, and playing a lot of them in Limited and Standard formats, I was excited to see what MID would bring to the table.
Unfortunately, despite the shiny new commander the deck has, I’m not confident that the many, many issues that make Werewolves awkward in Commander have actually found an answer.
Issue 1: The cardpool
Werewolves are kind of in this awkward place where due to mechanically being tied to Innistrad and its double-faced-card Transform mechanic, there just aren’t very many of them, even though we’ve been to Innistrad 3 times now. As well, of the current 6 Innistrad-based sets, 2 of them (DKA and EMN) are small sets and 1 (AVR) doesn’t actually have any werewolves in them. The number of werewolves, therefore, is not particularly big- at time of writing, 83 cards exist with the word Werewolf or Werewolves, and of those 5 are explicit hate pieces. And one is Victim of Night, a removal spell that happens not to hit them. That leaves 78 cards to work with, outside of Changelings.
Frustratingly, WoTC has done very little to supplement this when visiting other planes. There exist exactly 6 Werewolf-related cards printed outside of Innistrad, with only 4 of those actually being Werewolves. I appreciate the slight bones being thrown in the form of WAR Arlinn, Nightpack Ambusher, and AFR’s own Werewolf Pack leader, but that’s about a card a year, which is not enough to support a tribe like this.
There’s also an issue where most of the Werewolf cards are pretty much just limited fodder. Of the 62 cards with the type Werewolf on them (again not including Changelings), I’d wager maybe 30 of them are playable in Commander, using an extremely loose definition of the word playable and with the understanding that this deck is going to be janky as hell. The tribe really suffers from its flavour-based limits, especially with the lack of non-Innistrad support, even though many of the game’s mechanics could be adapted to flavour of the Werewolf.
The final problem with the cardpool is the weak support cards. Werewolves have a fair few support cards, actually, but the issue is most of them are either not scaled for the format or only apply on one side of a 2-sided card. Many tribes in the middle-ground of card quality can get propped up by a handful of really good support cards- as an example, Treefolk have Timber Protector and Leaf-Crowned Elder, and Myr have Myr Galvaniser, Myr Turbine, and basically every Artifact support card ever to exist. Werewolves are stuck with, outside of one or two spicy new cards, mostly just +1/+1 anthems/counters and a handful of keywords, and also Immerwolf/Geier Reach Bandit (but the latter only half the time).
The result of this is that despite arguably being one of the better supported tribes as far as card numbers, Werewolves seriously pale in comparison to the majority of the field, especially compared to their Innistradi brethren- they look real awkward next to Humans, Zombies, Spirits, and Vampires.
Issue 2: The colours
Werewolves are pretty shoehorned into Gruul as far as the cards go. Both legendary Werewolves and the Werewolf Planeswalker are in the colour combination, as well as the vast majority of the tribe’s members. However, Midnight Hunt has added some other options in all 3 other colours, and there are reasons to run each anyway- mostly to do with, you know, that whole cardpool issue.
Because as good as Tovolar is, this tribe needs a little help from another colour, in my opinion.
White is the most commonly added colour to Werewolf decks, due to getting to play Rule of Law effects to stop your Werewolves from getting flipped back over. If I build Werewolves, it probably will be Naya, just because I already have two Gruul decks, but my issue is the lack of a clear Commander. Samut is clearly the best option, mostly on account of Flash and the deck likely being fairly aggressive, but I have an issue with commanders, particularly Tribal commanders, not accurately representing the deck. But then, what am I supposed to go with? Anara/Bruse Tarl? Gahiji? Rin and Seri kinda work flavourfully, if you squint, but they do nothing for the gameplay of the deck. I probably would have to just get over it and play Samut, and maybe you should too.
Midnight Hunt did also throw some Black Werewolves in, to go with the original 3 from back in the day (the utterly terrible Treacherous Werewolf, Lesser Werewolf, and Greater Werewolf), opening Jund as an option, kind of. My issue with this is that aside from just general good cards, Black doesn’t really add much to the deck’s likely plans, and only one of the new Black Werewolves, Graveyard Tresspasser, is really any good. I suppose this does mean you could run 4-colour with Saskia, but…eh…
This set also added a singular Blue werewolf in Suspicious Stowaway, which is actually kinda okay. And also Blue gets one extra Rule of Law effect in Arcane Laboratory. But I don’t think I’m going to see Temur Werewolves anytime soon. I guess you could run Surrak? Blue does notably also get you a bunch of the better Changelings, on account of their recent Kaldheim iterations being in Green-Blue.
There is always, of course, Morophon. But that fucker’s for cowards. The TL;DR is, that Werewolves’s best commanders don’t give you access to everything the deck needs.
Issue 3: The tribes
This is somewhat of a more minor issue, but one worth bringing up. Many of the Werewolf matters cards are shared with Wolf matters cards, and so it’s likely worth bringing a few of the better Wolves into the mix. Sarulf, if you’re including Black, or one or both Tolsimir-s in White. Wolves are a tribe with many, many more members, especially adding in all the Wolf Token producing cards, though there are still fewer Wolf Matters cards than Werewolf Matters ones. Also, some of the Werewolf Matters cards are Wolves, like Nightpack Ambusher, Silverfur Partisan, and Immerwolf. So there’s probably a fair few worth throwing in.
As well, seeing as the vast majority of Werewolves have Human front faces, some Humans matter cards like Angel of Glory’s Rise or the new Katilda are worth a shout. There are very few of these that work unfortunately, seeing as you are actively trying to have your humans not be humans, but it’s potentially worth the look.
The reason I find this to be an issue is that you can only add in so many subthemes like this before the deck’s real synergies start to get too heavily diluted. Every Wolf you add makes your Werewolves worse, you know?
I dunno maybe this one was less an issue and more just a recommendation. And yes I know most of the non-Human Werewolves are in fact Eldrazi, but as much as I love those cards they’re both mostly bad and there’s not enough of them, so don’t bother putting Eldrazi cards in there. You have to dump a lot of mana to flip them anyway.
Issue 4: The gameplay
Werewolves as a tribe are extremely challenging from a gameplay perspective. You have to be paying close attention every turn, in order to make sure that you know when your Werewolves are transforming- and in a format like Commander, they are probably not spending nearly as much time with the back half as they are the front half.
While I appreciate Midnight Hunt’s design efforts to simplify this with the Daybound mechanic, in Commander this kinda just makes it worse. Daybound means you are having to track this mechanic at all times, even when you or nobody else has a Werewolf on the field, as long as you’ve played one of the new ones beforehand. As well, the older cards (which you will need some of) are completely unlinked to this day/night cycle, even though they technically use the same trigger, which can lead to some confusion- if, for example, Tovolar makes it Night on your Upkeep, playing a Duskwatch Recruiter is still going to leave you with a Duskwatch Recruiter, not a Krallenhorde Howler.
Considering Tovolar is likely the leader for most Werewolf decks going forward, I appreciate the effort to make him work with the Werewolves of the past, and that he tries to mitigate the tribe’s biggest issue. But there are a whole bunch of really finicky interactions that are both difficult to get your head around and difficult to explain to others when you pull them off. For example, if the player before you casts two spells on their turn, it becomes Day as the turn begins, meaning all your MID Werewolves will transform immediately, then Upkeep happens, and any of your non-MID Werewolves flip as well. Then Tovolar triggers, and you can transform as many of your Werewolves as you want- so if you stack the triggers right, then something like, say, Huntmaster of the Fells or Ulrich of the Krallenhorde will get to transform twice in the same step and get both of its “when ~ transforms” effects.
The other half of this is just the mental load on your opponents. You know what all your cards do, but your opponents aren’t going to! And this is a typical thing in EDH, the game requires either a massive knowledge of Magic, an ability to pick up on new cards and interactions quickly, or both, but it gets so much worse when each of your cards has two sides worth of text to read off whenever you play one. And people (particularly those with less-than-perfect threat assessment) are going to typically assume that the more words on your cards the better they are, so you might get targeted just based on that even though half the words aren’t relevant most of the time.
The long and short of Werewolves in EDH is this: They’re still awkward and janky. I think you can actually build a deck, but you could already do that technically, and I think the additions from MID aren’t quite enough to bump the tribe up to Actually Good. They are, though, about the level of Jank that I appreciate, so maybe I’ll still just build them anyway.
There is potential hope, though. Innistrad: Midnight Hunt is an Innistrad Werewolf Set that contains no less than 15 Vampires (one of my biggest issues with the set!), and the next set is Innistrad: Crimson Vow, the Innistrad Vampire Set. Due to the mechanical requirements, I can’t imagine we’re seeing 15 Werewolves in that one, but I’m hoping we do at least get a couple extras. And hey, maybe one of that one’s Commander decks will be Werewolves!
…The previous was written under the assumption that we didn’t know what the VOW Commander Decks were. As it turns out, we have the names. Neither of them are Werewolf themed.
God damn it, maybe next time we come back to Innistrad then. So, see you in 2026.
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Talking about the smidgens we saw of Gale, the wizard of Waterdeep.
[Baldur’s Gate 3 Early Access Spoilers]
Updated, AGAIN, because the hell of new aspects we saw when some bugs were sorted out.
Warning: all this analysis was done for game versions 4.1.83 and 4.1.84
Well, I had to rewrite all this because the explorations of dialogue options and the bugs being, somehow, solved, allowed me to see small details from Gale that stand out or end up being more than curious to me. I'll list his main features to make things short (hopefully), and useful for... eventual fics:
Gale is a char who approves any good treatment to animals (and creatures in general). He has a cat, a Library, and writes poetry sometimes.
He doesn't like gratuitous murdering which is implied in the anecdote he told us about how he stopped a massacre in a Waterdeep city inn just by buying a round to everyone. It is also implied in his approval in most situations; even in the one with the ogres having sex.
He gives you disapproval most of the time if you use violence and intimidation as your first approach in solving a situation. He prefers eloquence, diplomacy, and negotiation. However, he is flexible enough to approve a performance-intimidation in front of goblins to avoid bloodshed. Point (2) is primary. So... he truly is a pragmatic char. It's not white and black: “never use intimidation/lie” or that kind of over-simplistic view.
He likes logical and reasonable conversations. An action that earned his disapproval can be undone if the main char (MC) talks to him and explains their reasons. You can disagree with him without having approval penalties most of the time. You can question many situations and, as long as it remains a mental exercise, there are no penalties. That surprised me a lot. Most characters disapprove you if you wonder about a potential situation, but Gale no. He is the scholar, he will allow a safe space to think around things without being too judgemental. We will see if this attitude lasts in the full game. No wonder some players see in him “the Teacher” archetype. Quite so.
He was an Arch wizard while being Mystra's Chosen One, and fell from grace when she put him aside. What is hard for me to grasp is if he remained Chosen One and therefore able to cast silver-fire during that intermediate period when he stopped having Mystra's whispers and his folly with the netherese taint. We know that in that moment Mystra removed herself from his life completely. But before, she has only stopped whispering and sleeping with him. So far I understand, being her Chosen One doesn't imply sleeping with her, most of the time.
He was a teacher (not surprising, since his over-explanation vices and details such as the pronunciation of “Trashj” make us suspect it), and had some students that he could not keep longer since their ineptitudes irked him.
Unlike the stereotypical “scholar” type, he knows how to cook, since he has been doing stews for the party in the camp. He also loves baths. A bit siding with the stereotypical “scholar” type, but a nice change for a “standard adventurer” type, in which most of the time it is implied that they are stinky with “animalistic” scents and uglier descriptors. No, Gale likes his lavender-scented baths. Good.
He is an over-thinker strategist. And also a char who takes responsibility for his own mistakes to the point that, when he dies for the first time, a programmed image is activated to help anyone to revive him. Despite the fact that he is dead and can give a shit about that, he is still responsible of the catastrophe that may happen if that weird magic orb stuck in his chest erupts.
He is also forcing me to check the dictionary like no other game has done in a while... the fucker uses uncommon words a lot of the time. Smidges? really? Gale is a hard char for a non native English speaker.
We can assume that during his teenage time, he was a pretty prideful peacock to the point to be blind at the reality (well, yeah, he romanced a goddess; if that doesn't give you a hell of a ego boost...) He remembers his young self's pride with a thick level of regret. He is now a mature scholar that, for a change, does not patronise you or thinks of himself better than anyone. Sure, he over-explains a lot, but that's something that most scholars/teachers do when they are worried that, maybe, they won't be understood.
He is confident in his years of study (for that reason he is a capable wizard despite having lost Mystra's favours), but he acknowledges his limits. Which is a nice change to see in the “scholar” archetype, the typical know-it-all. He knows a lot, he knows that he knows (it would be ridiculous to hide his knowledge), but he is human, and like he says: “humans are fallible”. However, it’s more than obvious that he has a big ego for everything he does, which makes sense since he follows a motto in his life: “try to excel at everything”. High accomplished scholar lifestyle, indeed.
If you don't share the Weave with him, he will state that nights are lonesome. It seems he truly is looking for some connection with a keen fellow mind. Probably it's this loneliness which triggers his urge to see Mystra's face during the night. We also know he, in general, lives in constant fear due to the Netherese taint in his chest. So, very lonely, and very scared.
I don't know if this is his poet side unable to be switched-off or it's another implication of how he sees sexual encounters: he never says sex (at least in my many runs, he never did it). He always gets around the word: love-making, art of the body, intimacy. For a scholar who is so prone to use the technical word for everything, and has already stated he is not coy at all, the use of these metaphors make me wonder if it's because he always conceives sex as something more than mere physical pleasure. For him, it seems to come with a more emotional connection (which makes sense if we think he will only sleep with those who connected to him through the Weave). Another small detail that may confirm this is when he asks the MC if the “other night” was wonderful. If MC claims it was “fun”, Gale shows a certain degree of uneasiness by that word choice, making us infer that he certainly doesn’t see sex as “fun” but as something else, deeper.
His tadpole dreams are about Mystra (rather obvious). His most desperate desire is forgiveness. Mystra's forgiveness.
Mystra was his first love. The affair did not last long. And since soon after her abandonment he looked for the Primal Weave book and was infested by it; one could assume he has been focused on solving his problem for the rest of his life than putting some energy in romance, especially if we think about (13). It's hard to say with certainty (especially with banters like these), but since he is a char that you can only sleep with if you share a mind-connection through the Weave, it seems less plausible that he could encourage into casual relationships during all this period of his life looking for a solution to the Netherese orb. If he got previous relationships, they may have been meaningful, but clearly not enough to win over the goddess’ and his urges to see her, lol.
He did not mind Mystra having many other lovers besides him. It seems to be the same with the MC, since he will insist in sleeping with them even after the party and even after the MC slept with someone else (however, that only occurs if the romantic connection through the Weave happened.) This fact combined with (13) and (15) make me wonder if he certainly wants to be with the MC too badly, even in an open relationship. We need to see the rest of his romance to be sure.
Since he looks for forgiveness so desperately, he is a char who will forgive most mistakes made by the MC if they acknowledge them.
He is a char who knows how grey and complex situations can be. This is inferred by the way he speaks of the tiefling girl who tried to steal the idol in the Grove: “She is not innocent, but that doesn't mean she is guilty.” (of course there is a lot of self projection there). This is also implied in his (surprising) approval of raising Mayrina's husband and giving her the control wand to search for a solution in Neverwinter. That shows that he can accept the fuckest weirdest situations, recognising that “sometimes we can’t choose situations but we can try to do our best, not always having the best results”. Also self-projection.
He appreciates his privacy to the point to leave the MC if the abuse of the tadpole power continues. However, and honouring (4), you can abuse of these powers and convince him with reasons: if you don't lie to him and explain that you have a responsibility with the group to know what happens with his secret, he will understand, and despite disapproving the MC actions, will remain without major troubles.
Certainly, as long as you give him reasons and logical concepts, he can almost understand everything with no disapproval or at least little one.
Consent and negotiation are vital to him, apparently. However, this aspect reaches a flaw. He was too angry with Nettie when she almost killed the MC, and he made a short speech about how nobody has the right to decide your options for you. Yet, in his romance scene, we see that he deliberately hid his true relationship with Mystra and his bomb-condition in order to sleep with the MC. In fact, during the party, if the MC tells him that doubts if he is the one they want, Gale will drop a curious argument: “That’s because you’ve yet to find out what your’re missing” (implying that he himself is what you need), followed by his most curious “Doubt is a spoilsport. Cast it aside”. That coming from a scholar is rotten, lol. He tries every convincing argument to sleep with the MC (if they shared the moment of the Weave, of course)
This happens in every variation of the path: whether the MC sleeps with him in the party, or afterwards, Gale will always wait for sharing a night with the MC before speaking the truth. It's hard to read this aspect since, he is a char who, apparently, needs a mind-connection with his partner for intimacy (see (12) and (13)); so this terrible strategy is like his way of trying to guarantee that the MC will not abandon him. I guess there is something along those line, specially if we keep in mind the book he explained: a book which is not only about the art of the body and the night and sex, but of other things such as conversation, exploration, and acceptance of oneself and the other. He is expecting with this night to reach the MC to a certain degree of intimacy in which, despite the raw truth, the acceptance will prevail. Remembering (16), he truly wants to sleep with the MC, baaaadly. And somehow everything feels like he wants to push things in a subtle way to a certain degree of commitment. Following the concept in (12), I think he has been alone for too long, and desperately needs someone in his lonesome nights and in helping him to deal with his burden. Finding someone who connected to him through the Weave (such a personal experience for him as it is) made him a bit desperate or eager. We know his emotion for the MC may have grown over those days since the connection with the Weave. In two occasions he or the MC can ask if both of them think about that moment. Gale says yes with such enthusiasm, that it may imply...that maybe, he has been thinking about that more times than he truly wants to tell the MC. The Weave moment had such a strong effect on Gale that, if the MC spent the night with another companion and rejects Gale’s proposition later, he will trail off a sentence that implies he was convinced that the MC and he were heading into something serious and deep.
Of course, once he sleeps with the MC, he confesses the truth right afterwards, accepting--without approval penalties--the harshest responses that the MC can give. He clearly knows that such manoeuvre was truly disloyal, especially contrasting it with all his speech of consent and rights to know about the true situation one is in. In the next morning, he acknowledges it was a rotten thing to do and apologies. But this shows that his principles can be bend and even be broken when it comes to emotions. I'm still a bit wary of his emotional stability, what can I say.
Mystra is more than an ex-lover for him, it’s magic. And Magic is everything for him, even more than life. I wonder if, given the opportunity, Mystra forgives him and asks him to return to her side, would he accept it without second thoughts leaving the romanced MC? It's true he also acknowledges that all that fascination he had with the goddess was a product of his youth; he knows he was a plaything in her hands. But I don't see he got over with it. He still idealises her, as such a good poet does. Idealisation, especially when a Goddess is involved, is a terrible thing to fight against for the next partner. No matter what speech of loyalties and consent he states during the whole game, the MC knows that magic and Mystra are Gale's Achilles’ heel, and factors in which they can’t predict his behaviour.
We also know that, because his bomb-condition, he tries to take all the opportunities to enjoy the little things of life that make him human.
Gale is a straightforward and honest (mostly, let's say) char. But we can see that he prefers to be honest in most situations, except in his Achille’s heel. Even when he wanted to hide all the stuff about the bomb in his chest, he did it by explicitly warning us that he was hiding something he did not want to talk about. Which is an honest approach considering the hardcore burden he carries and the immediate rejection it can mean if the truth unfolds too quickly among strangers.
When it comes to concepts, Gale has the symbol of the storm attached to him. So far, we see he talks comparing things with storms or storm elements: his lack of knowledge to explain why they are not Mind Flayers yet: the silence before the storm; the fear that rushes into his body when the Weave orb asks him for magic to consume: the thunder of a storm reverberating in his soul, the day it will erupt: the lightning striking, the consumption of magic: water running through a sore throat, Life itself: a tempest. When he asked the player if they were a wizard, he explains that he needs an Arch wizard and compares them with a Tempest. If we see the main image of Baldur's gate 3, it's clear that his main element is electricity/storm... so... full witch-bolt-guy here.
[updated later] The Weave moment is important to romance Gale. Leaving the moment in ambiguity will give the MC another opportunity to make their intentions clear during the scene of the Loss. However, remaining vague will lock Gale into a friendship path. What happens during this scene may suggest that the ambiguity in the Weave was enough to keep Gale thinking about the romantic possibility, but he will not engage into it by his own, which confirms (15). Unless the opportunity presents itself clearly before him, he will not pursue the MC. Further details [here].
Last moment detail: Gale says “I cherish you” when he explains he will await death alone if the Netherese orb goes out of control. I was not sure if that meant something more or less than love or like (I can’t not overlook the subtle meaning of the words coming from Gale’s mouth, he is a poet and his word choices matter). Checking the dictionary I found that “cherish” (in a relationship) is defined as to hold or to treat as dear, to feel love for and to care for someone deeply and tenderly. This man went straight into a commitment relationship without thinking it twice, and without (I believe) the MC knowing it either xD.
Let's see how these characteristics shift or develop deeper once the full game is out there. Now we have to wait a lot :(
To see videos where all this stuff is inferred or explicitly said, you can check [here]
More videos added later [here] and [here]
More content of bg3 in general [here]
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Thoughts on Higurashi Gou Ep17
Haha yeah at this point I give up on thinking this is newcomer-friendly, lmao.
Anyway, thoughts under the cut [plus Umineko spoilers]
Well this sure was an episode, lol.
At this point I think that regardless of how the rest of the show goes, it kinda just definitively doesn’t work properly as something for new fans to enjoy. It’s not like it wouldn’t make any sense, but it’s just a straight up inferior experience to watching this as a sequel after the VN. Even with the fast-paced montage of Matsuribayashi plot points, new fans still don’t even know stuff like what Takano’s whole backstory is, what her motives where, and what her actual plan even WAS in the first place beyond just ‘she’s gonna kill everyone somehow for some reason’. And I doubt that we’re going to get much time spent at all on Rena and her backstory to explain what she was doing in Onidamashi.
I think Gou works fine as a sequel to the VN, but as a starting point for new fans it just throws enough spoilers at you to ruin the experience of reading the VN afterward, without enough time spent on those plot points and characters to make it worth it. Though I also have to wonder now if it was even worth spending 13 episodes going over mostly the same events as the original question arcs if immediately afterward they were going to drop all pretenses of this being a remake.
I’m pretty negative about this whole aspect of the show, but I still think that the sequel aspect of it is good and interesting. Even if a lot of that is just me being desperate for any amount of indirect Umineko content, lol.
This episode might have spelled out that Satoko is the second looper on the gameboard, but it seems pretty obvious that there’s a higher power influencing her and giving her the power to loop in the first place. I’m still suspicious of Hanyuu/Featherine, but this episode made me think it’s much more likely that it might actually be Lambda.
I wasn’t really sure about it earlier since it felt like wishful thinking, but the whole beginning scene where Takano apologizes to Rika and says that she wouldn’t believe her even if she explained why she suddenly changed her mind about her mission seems to indicate that Lambda has basically abandoned Takano and revoked her blessing of certainty, and she seems to remember the events of Matsuribayashi anyway, so she’s basically just accepted her defeat. I don’t think it’s as simple as that, though, because of what Takano said about Rika not believing why she changed her mind, so I think it also involves her connection to Lambda.
It might actually be a lot like how Lambda acted in Umineko, where she took over the game master position for a while after Beatrice abandoned the game. This might be Lambda taking over the Higurashi game board because Hanyuu abandoned it, and she’s decided to make Satoko her new piece.
We’ve already seen Satoko talk about how Oyashiro contacted her and made her into his new priestess because of Rika’s sins, so I think Lambda probably just posed as Oyashiro to convince Satoko to become her piece.
It’d also help explain how weird a lot of Gou’s game board feels, and how silly the whole concept of Satoko being a criminal mastermind is, if this is the Higurashi version of Umineko Ep5, where Lambda created a ‘game without love’ where she didn’t technically contradict anything about the story or the characters, but pushed the limits of how out of character she could make them act.
I’ve already felt for a while that Nekodamashi in particular feels more like a case of the culprit just trying to unfairly torture Rika instead of trying to present her with a fairy mystery to solve, and that’d definitely fit with the idea of Lambda just wanting to mess with Rika and manipulating the pieces and the game board to do so.
It kinda risks entering the catch-22 territory of something being ‘intentionally badly written’, in a sense, if the whole point is that the real mastermind is just being sadistic and not trying to establish a fair mystery, but it’s at least something that’s been established before in the overall franchise. I dunno how well it works to have that be the premise of an entire season, though, compared to how only one episode of Umineko worked this way, and it was already established there that Lambda was the new game master at the very start of the episode, so there weren’t any surprises or secrets there.
Either way this could basically just be the hand wave-y explanation for any questions of how Satoko apparently managed to obtain the syringe in each arc and inject all these random people successfully in each arc. And also why it doesn’t even seem to make sense from Satoko’s POV for her to act in such a roundabout and risky way.
Honestly, it kinda reminds me of the whole mentality some people have where they wonder why Rika doesn’t just use her supernatural knowledge of everything going on to perfectly game the system and manipulate everyone. The whole point there is that she’s just a little girl who’s only physically capable of doing so much without outside help, but Lambda might be straight up giving Satoko the unnatural ability to actually do all of this stuff even as a random little girl. Which, again, feels kinda iffy as a writing choice, but it’d also fit with a lot of the commentary Ryukishi likes to do about this type of stuff.
One thing I’m curious about is if the next arc will start off with a new loop, or if this one will keep going. Usually we don’t have loops carry over between arcs, and with how this episode ended we might just find out that Satoko immediately shot Rika, but considering how Rika obviously planned this whole scene to happen, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s able to stop Satoko from shooting her.
I didn’t think this up, but I’ve seen other people theorize that part of the ‘birthday party preparation’ involved Rika explaining everything to her friends off-screen and getting them to help her deal with the whole Satoko confrontation, which I think would make a lot of sense, and it’d make it a lot more likely that the next arc will start with Satoko getting stopped before she can kill Rika. Although if the next arc starts that way, and everyone’s already aware of what’s going on with Rika and Satoko, and we’ve already gone through all the stuff with Takano giving up her plans and leaving the village, I have to wonder what they’d even spend seven whole episodes doing, lol. All the stuff with Takano and the clinic in this episode also makes it feel like this will be the ‘final loop’, since it’d feel a bit weird to have to go over it all again later on, but we’ll see.
I’ve also seen people point out that Satoko’s gun at the end seems to be the same type as Mion’s toy gun, so instead of her getting physically overpowered, we might find out that Rika got Mion to swap her gun with Satoko’s. I dunno exactly how Rika would have known about Satoko having a gun, or how she’d be able to make the swap happen without Satoko realizing it, but I could see it playing out that way.
Anyway, this really feels like it’s shaping up to be a Bern vs Lambda game, where Lambda’s whole goal is just to keep Rika stuck in this loop as long as possible no matter what. And I still feel like if they’re gonna go this hard into the Umineko connections, they should really just go the whole nine yards and have this lead into a proper Umineko anime remake. Otherwise it’d feel like a wasted opportunity where Higurashi fans get disappointed that their series got ‘tainted’ by Umineko-related story baggage, while Umineko fans are disappointed because it’s not the sort of content we’ve been hoping for, and it’s not as substantial as a full remake would be.
It doesn’t help that Okonogi and Amakusa both show up in this episode, lol. I know they both show up in Higurashi, but still. At this point it’d just feel cruel if all this teasing doesn’t actually lead to anything noteworthy.
Also, even in spite of how much this episode explained about the whole mystery, I feel even more confused about what the whole final arc could possibly be about at this point, especially if I’m right about this loop continuing for maybe the entire rest of the next arc. It kinda feels like we’re already at the endgame where both sides have revealed their intentions to each other, and we more or less know exactly what the mechanics of everything going on behind the scenes are. It feels like there isn’t really any mystery left to unravel, aside from maybe the specifics of what happened to Satoko after Matsuribayashi that clearly lead to her getting influenced into doing all this. But we still have seven whole episodes left to go, so clearly there’s a lot left to happen.
Ideally they’re going to find time to actually go over stuff like Rena and Shion’s backstories, and the exact details of what happened in the previous years of the curse killings, and Takano’s whole backstory and what her big evil plan actually was in the first place, so those things don’t just end up left in the VN for new fans to not find out about, but I dunno. Ironically, I don’t think there’s *enough* episodes left to properly go into all that, unless it’s as fast-paced as how this episode went through a bullet point list of details from Matsuribayashi.
There’s still the question of if we might get a second season, but I doubt it. Maybe it could be a one-cour second season, but it already feels like we’re at the end of the story. We’re basically at the equivalent of the end of Minagoroshi, and there was only one more arc after that in the VN. But if we’re making comparisons to the VN, then we’ve still basically skipped over Tsumihoroboshi and Meakashi, lol.
Also, before I forget, it still genuinely bugs me that even though Rika apparently remembered Takano being evil this whole time, and clearly still thought she was evil this whole time, she’s apparently done absolutely nothing to try and investigate or stop her in any of these timelines, and she spent all of Nekodamashi being like ‘wow, I can’t believe people are going unnaturally L5 and killing me while taking about parasites . . . . who could possibly be behind this . . . . . .. . oh well guess I’ll just die lol’. I don’t want to call it a plot hole, but it just feels like genuinely bad writing caused by the unnecessary conflict of Gou trying to appeal to new fans while also being a sequel. But in the end they ended up giving a sparknotes version of Matsuribayashi that spoils Takano being evil anyway, so it feels kinda pointless that they sidestepped the issue so hard up to this point, at the cost of having Rika basically act like an idiot who doesn’t bother acting upon any of the knowledge she has.
Anyway, if we don’t get a full Umineko remake out of this in the end, they should at least just have the next arc turn into full on Umineko shenanigans with logic battles and witches with laser swords and shit.
I might sound like I’m just really negative toward Higurashi in general compared to Umineko, but even though I prefer Umineko, I really like Higurashi, and that’s a big part of why it bugs me so much that they didn’t just commit to this being a proper remake. An actual remake of the VN that has more concise pacing and works better as an anime would be genuinely great in it’s own way, but that’s not what we’ve ended up getting, lol.
#murasaki rambles#higurashi#higurashi gou#ryukishi please just give me actual new umineko content i'm literally begging you#remember when umineko gold was a thing? lol
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A Fistful of Munny - Extended End Notes
Notes for A Fistful of Munny that don’t fit within the character limit under the cut!
Please, read the fic before reading this post
All right! Welcome to the extended notes, in which I go into excruciating detail over a bunch of stuff that doesn’t matter, because I like the sound of my own voice!
Let’s start with some more broad stuff that didn’t make the exclusive end notes space. To do the Fistful of Dollars homage, I needed a place where I could have two villainous factions intersecting for Strelitzia to play against one another. After some brainstorming and asking for help from other people working on the Entwined in Trine Sorikai zine (and ultimately ignoring all their very good suggestions (Sorry, guys!)), I eventually realized that the Wasteland from Epic Mickey was a perfect place for this story, both in the sense of having mooks to destroy without Strels committing actual murder, and in the thematic sense of forgotten characters. There was just one issue.
I hadn’t played Epic Mickey.
And that is how I spent my summer, playing both Epic Mickey games. Both, because I was looking for a good location to set the story in in-world. Since the Wasteland is based on the Disney theme parks, I was hoping to find one based on Frontierland, their Western section. Such a location did exist – Disney Gulch – but only in the second game. Which meant I had to play Epic Mickey 2, as well. (The first one is a better game, but that’s not really the fault of the developers; they were not given the time they needed to make it as good as the first one. Here’s a video with trivia about the series that goes a little into the development.) I also needed to learn the Mad Doctor’s ultimate fate, since I wanted his Beetleworx/Blotworx to be one of the two villainous factions. In the game, depending on whether you chose the Paint (Paragon) or Thinner (Renegade) path, the Doc is either redeemed… or dead. Neither of which was helpful, so I had to invent.
But let’s talk about characters and why I picked them in order. The short version for why these choices, at least on the Final Fantasy side, is set-up for later. Obviously I can’t go into detail why. Before that, let’s talk about the Beanie Baby.
Chi is, as I hope you were able to guess, Strelitzia’s Chirithy. I’ve brought it up several times, but I personally do not like mascot characters. There are a few exceptions, but Chirithies are not one of them. Like I said, KHUx isn’t what happened in this AU, so you’ll have to wait for in-universe answers on why it’s a cat now. Out-of-universe reason is this was the only way I could make it palatable for myself. I arbitrarily decided on a gender for it because as a real cat, it would have a sex. Canonically Chirithies appear to be genderless, and in Japanese refer to themselves with the gender-neutral (but masculine-leaning) boku. I would’ve left Chi that way, save for the fact that he’s a completely normal cat now. (And before you ask, no, not every real cat that appears in KHΨ from this point on is a Chirithy.)
As for Strelitzia herself, it’s hard for me to pick up a character’s voice when they’re… not voiced. Intonation and cadence do a lot for me mimicking the way a character talks, so it’s a bit more difficult when they don’t technically speak. I tried for a mix between Sora and Kairi, while still keeping her defining character traits of being shy, but also impulsive.
You may notice that while she’s started remembering faces, if not names, the Player’s name and face still eludes her, despite her (canonical. Deal with it.) crush on them. There is a story reason for this, and will become clear once Luxu takes centre stage.
The name “Jane” was chosen with more consideration than just “Jane Doe” being the standard name in (at least my corner of) the English-speaking world for a woman of unknown identity. See, the Man With No Name actually has three names. In A Fistful of Dollars, he is referred to (by one character in one scene, once) as “Joe”. “Joan” might have been a more clear homage, but I figure Jane makes sense. And as you might guess, in the next fic, Strels will be going by a different name, still not her own. She’ll remember her name… eventually.
One might think I could’ve picked any old Cid, and one would be wrong for reasons I can’t explain yet. In fact, I can’t explain much of anything surrounding him yet. What I can say is no, Cidney Aurum is not dead, she’s just not related to Cid Sophiar in this fic verse. An unfortunate consequence of where I wanted to put each of them in the narrative; making them not be related was the only way it made any sense, geographically speaking.
Hyperion on the other hand, I can talk about. He’s one of the Gremlins in Epic Mickey, and… wait, first things first. Gremlins are from an abandoned Disney film based on a Roald Dahl book, itself based on the cryptids that supposedly haunted airplanes and caused them to malfunction, the earliest known written-down mention of the concept being from the 1920s. The film never got made, but the designs Disney would have used were adapted into a second printing of Dahl’s book, and they were later used in Epic Mickey. Hyperion is, like the publishing imprint that Disney owns, named after a street that Walt Disney used to live on. In-game, Hyperion is in Bog Easy (based on the Haunted Mansion), not Disney Gulch, but his name stuck out to me as being particularly fun, so I picked him instead of trying to figure out what Gremlins actually are in the Gulch (they have names in the files of Epic Mickey 2, but not in the actual game, so it would have been a hunt).
Regardless of where the setting ended up, for the second villainous faction, I was always going to plop down the good old Don. More things I can’t talk about. For everything FF7, know that I’m always going to be pulling from a mix of the original game, Remake, and Machinabridged. Hence, Corneo’s outfit is a mix of his original and Remake designs (which basically just means he’s wearing blue jeans instead of brown). I didn’t think bringing in his three lieutenants from Remake was necessary, especially since this was supposed to be a kind-of small operation.
Leslie is picked up and dropped from Remake pretty much unchanged. I needed someone to do the murders Strels couldn’t, and even if he’s not a complete asshole, he’s still mostly an asshole. Have we ever seen small, Materia-like balls used to cast magic before…?
Onto the fun bits, which is the Disney characters. We’ll start with Percy, who is from a Goofy short called “How to Ride a Horse”, from 1950. And that’s about it. The conceit in Wasteland is that all of the Toons there were basically actors, and they wound up in Wasteland if they were forgotten (that’s not exactly correct, but I’m generalizing). This is interesting, since two of the Toons in Epic Mickey are Horace Horsecollar and Clarabelle Cow, both of whom… are residents of Disney Town in Kingdom Hearts, having shown up in Birth by Sleep. So that’s an interesting continuity snarl that I’m going to just ignore.
Persephone and Pluto, on the other hand, are from an earlier short called “The Goddess of Spring”, from 1934. It was one of the projects Disney tried as practice for Snow White. If you’re about to protest that his name should be Hades, not Pluto, then you’re going to need a time machine so you can tell them back in the 30s. The Goddess of Spring is a musical, in the sense that every single line is sung. Watch it for yourself. There’s a video with better quality floating around YouTube, but for some reason it’s the French dub. And that’s why both of them sing most of their lines. I tried matching the meter of their actual parts, but Persephone’s doesn’t actually follow a syllabic pattern that I could make out. I eventually gave up and just gave her the meter from the start of the short. Pluto’s was easier to manage (and more consistent).
The skeletons are Disney veterans, presumably the same ones from “The Skeleton Dance” (1929), but more specifically they’re mimicking what they did in “The Mad Doctor” (1933), the first appearance of our other villain. They’re fun.
The original Mad Doctor was supposedly named “Dr. XXX”, according to the name on his door. This was before the modern film rating system was put in place; it was a different time. In the original short, the Mad Doctor kidnaps Pluto (the dog) with the intent of cutting him in half and putting his front half on a chicken For Science!, and Mickey follows him to his castle to rescue the purloined pooch. The short wasn’t a musical in the same vein as “The Goddess of Spring”, but… the Mad Doctor’s only spoken lines were a song (aside from evil cackling). While I had already decided to do the “Toons that sang in their short can only communicate through song” with Persephone and Pluto before starting on Epic Mickey 2, I hilariously discovered that the game developers had done the exact same gag with the Mad Doctor, most of his lines in the game being sung. (In Epic Mickey there were no fully voiced lines, so he speaks as normally as anyone else does). Which made it easier to write his songs here, since I could just rewrite his songs from the game. I used to write alternate lyrics for songs back in high school, so this was an interesting trip back in time for me. They were stuck in my head for weeks afterwards, but it was worth it.
I believe that’s everything for the characters. Let’s talk about Keyblades.
It irks me that three people in KHUx have the same Keyblade. Ephemer, Skuld, and Strelitzia all have variations of Starlight. Now, in KHΨ, there is only one Starlight, and it belongs to Luxu, so I’m going to have to decide on different Keyblades for each of them. (Ephemer’s has already been decided, and I haven’t started brainstorming for Skuld yet. No I do not need suggestions, thank you). Pixie Petal bears a noted (by KHWiki) resemblance to one of Marluxia’s alternate scythes, so that tangential connection was enough for me. Both siblings have flower-themed Keyblades – it makes sense to me.
You might notice a few disparities in the magic. These are on purpose, and will eventually make sense. And that’s all I can say on that at the moment. ;)
Oh, yes, one important thing I probably should have said on the main notes: I’m not going for a realistic depiction of amnesia here. Anything I got right was entirely accidental, and I’m fairly certain there’s not much. There might be a story reason for why it works the way it does… and it might be the same reason why other people from KHUx have or had amnesia in the present day…
You know what’s funny? Although Orcuses look more impressive than Invisibles, their stats in Days are actually worse. I’m fairly sure that this is because the only time we see an Orcus, it’s actually an illusion cast over Xion so that Roxas will fight her to the death. There are no other stats for them (according to KHWiki), since they’ve never been used elsewhere.
A friendly reminder that Apprentice Xehanort invented the term “Heartless”, which was why Aqua didn’t know what to call them until Mickey told her. Thus, nobody from the era of the Keyblade War should know the term “Heartless” without being told by someone in present day. “Darkling” was the term they used instead. I’m fairly certain KHUx ignores the continuity on this (so why should we trust its continuity for anything else, hmm?)
I think that covers everything! Or at least everything I’m willing to share at this point. If you’ve read this far, thank you! I appreciate your dedication! ^_^
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Alright. US v. Haiti for Olympic Qualifying. I’m adding my two cents to this mess.
Naeher, Sauerbrunn, Dahlkemper. They didn’t have to do much, which was to be expected. Still solid though!! Alyssa did look HELLA confused on the called back corner goal because, UM, WHOMST WAS COVERING FAR POST??
Miss Kelley, being smiley and starting was huge. I’m rooting for those dumb ole ankles of hers. Her first touch was off, but with the field conditions and the fact that this is her first game back since August, NOT BAD. The chemistry between her and Williams was super off, their timing and anticipation of where the other would go, etc. That will come with time. But she made some bomb ass crosses and was killing winning headers in the back. AND she made it 80 minutes. Which obviously, she has the stamina for it, but it was a risky move!
Crystal freaking Dunn. Love her so. Her passes were off, like a lot of the team. But her work rate is so insane. If she lost it, she was getting it back. She had some really good crosses too.
Sonnett got to come in too, which, YAY. Slide tackle was, meh, but I TOO got called for a slide this week soooo.. I’m not out here judging that. She did well for limited time in the waning minutes.
Midfield? Never heard of her.
Jokes aside, everyone was off, but midfield in the first half was practically nonexistent. I don’t know if Haiti was just covering well or Julie, Sam, and Rose weren’t getting in position to receive. Whatever it was, balls not working through midfield was the biggest problem. Not used to seeing that. (I did enjoy seeing those three get SPICY though. Sam Mewis future in wrestling??) I would have liked to see Lindsey come in earlier since it was such a hot mess. Glad she came in regardless, AND DID SO WELL AND SCORED WITH HER BIG HEAD. To quote a gushing Sonnett, “Lindsey Horan is so good.” I’m assuming Andi will get minutes next game too, excited to see what she does!
Carli... scored... eventually. Lol, I’m not going to pretend like she’s my favorite player ever, but I can respect that she is really fucking good. Tonight, her shots were off. I know it. Yall know it. Carli ALSO KNOWS IT. She stuck with it and ended up getting a goal anyway. She’s tenacious and I’LL TAKE IT.
Lynn Williams losing a shoe and assisting a goal is so chaotic. GOOD FOR HER. She did pretty well despite having trouble connecting. It’s too evident that she hasn’t played with the group enough. I also think she has a hard time slowing herself down sometimes and relies on her speed more than anything else. I want to see her slow it tf down for a second and get technical.
Pinoe. changed. the. game. The vibe changed when she got in and she made shit happen. Her services were *chefs kiss* and unrelated to soccer, SHE LOOKED REALLY PRETTY Sorry not sorry
And I saved Christen for last because... PLAYER OF THE MATCH, NUMBER ONE GOAL SCORER, ACTUAL ANGEL Pressy. She was the ONLY one in the first half who had all her shit together. She put passes at feet. She had her head up, she looked to switch the field, she went back on defense, she held the ball and drove forward when necessary, she took SHOTS. The reason she was subbed first was because she likely tweaked her ankle. We don’t deserve Christen Press but I am fucking stoked we have her anyways.
Also. I miss Tobin.
#uswnt#alyssa naeher#becky sauerbrunn#abby dahlkemper#crystal dunn#kelley o'hara#emily sonnett#rose lavelle#julie ertz#sam mewis#lindsey horan#carli lloyd#lynn williams#megan rapinoe#christen press#tobin heath
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Blessings, Curses, Autism
My earliest memories are of waiting rooms with musty carpets and buckets of donated, broken toys. I guess it was worse for my parents, who had nothing to stare at but walls and trashy lifestyle magazines. Eventually, the professionals decided I had a condition called Asperger’s Syndrome, and there was one thing they wanted me to understand:
“It’s a blessing, not a curse.”
If someone asked me to list blessings off the top of my head, I’d mention 20/20 vision, pitch-perfect hearing, or George Foreman’s chin — not a neurological disorder that transforms the most natural stages of personal development into a confusing struggle. In hindsight, I would have preferred more concrete advice than ‘it’s a blessing, not a curse.’ Something like:
“Watch out for the train!”
…But the quippy slogan is what stuck. My parents dispensed it like a cheap plaster, and I still don’t know whose benefit it was for — mine, or theirs. What I do know, is that I never once believed them: I felt I was being brushed aside, or told to accept something blatantly untrue. Besides, children don’t care to question whether they’re blessed or cursed, so it was an answer to a question that hadn’t been asked. Existentialism is for adults trying to make the best of a bad situation.
Being an Autistic Child.
Autism is not a superpower. Thanks to certain pieces of popular media, you might think of autistic people as quirky-yet-brilliant detectives, awkward-yet-sexy hackers (always female), or nonverbal children with a deep, instinctive connection to whatever animal or alien the protagonists are trying to communicate with. Often, people with severe autism are plot devices in the same vein as a forbidden orb or set of nuclear launch codes. Instead of damsels waiting for Bruce Willis to save them, they’re objects waiting for Bruce Willis to understand them.
A lot of autistic people are brilliant academically, though not for the reasons you might think. A common feature of autism is hyper-fixating on ‘special interests’, obsessing over a subject until one has learned everything about it, before moving on to the next. Very few people become maths geniuses this way; more often they become diehard Sonic fans or start giving lots of money to Games Workshop. Here are a few of the phases I went through:
- Thomas the Tank Engine.
- Pokémon.
- Old English monster myths.
- Naruto.
- Peter Jackson’s King Kong (both the movie and the video game).
- Bleach (the anime, thankfully, not the cleaning product).
Fairly normal interests for a young person, right? Now remember the hyper-fixation part. People with Asperger’s tend to focus on certain interests at the expense of others, and those ‘rejected interests’ are usually vital for social development. Now remember that high school is a psychopathic hellscape crawling with cruel little monsters ready to vent their newfound territorial instincts on anyone who doesn’t fit in. The kid who wants to discuss the depiction of brontosauruses in a sort-of-okay remake of a 1933 movie isn’t doing himself any favours — constant bullying drives him even deeper into reclusive interests and solitary hobbies, and from there, it’s the luck of the draw whether those hobbies resonate with any of the kids around him.
I’ve always known a lot about things no one knows about, and nothing about things everyone knows about. This, along with the fact that a lack of social life makes it easy to focus on one’s studies, creates the illusion that some autistic kids are eccentric geniuses-in-the-making. Parents — especially the parents of autistic children — are quick to latch onto any display of intelligence. They watch intently for any sign their long struggle is paying off, and when it happens, they praise their child endlessly, reinforcing behaviour patterns both good and bad. Because adults told me I was intelligent, I told other children I was intelligent, and you can imagine how well that went.
This misapprehension — confusing a bunch of random trivia for genius — followed me into high school, hurting me all the while, which is ironic, because it was the only positive way I could think about myself.
I’m lucky to have found books and writing as lifelong passions, but that almost didn’t happen; in fact, I used to despise any writing task the teacher set for me, to the point of outright refusing to do the work. In my defence, I was trying very hard to be somewhere else at the time — mentally, that is. The idea of putting my feelings on paper, for all to see? I couldn’t conceive of anything more terrifying.
Harry Potter changed things. I was gifted The Deathly Hallows when it was first published, and even though I had no idea what was going on in the story (I hadn’t even seen The Order of the Phoenix yet), I thought it was wonderful — maybe because I was getting a sneak peek into a future movie. Since then, I’ve always had a book close at hand, and it wasn’t long before I started writing my own novels (more on those another time).
Voracious reading was, technically, another un-social activity that would consume my waking hours, but at least it was productive. My grades improved dramatically. I got good at writing essays. I became better at expressing myself, and I started to consider other people’s points of view. I made friends, lifelong bonds. I wouldn’t say I was happy at that stage of life — bullies tend to push back against things like improved mental health — but at least I was growing.
Looking back, I can’t help but wonder how close I came to disaster. I was 13 or so. If I’d left it any later, I doubt the outcome would have been so peachy. There are plenty of autistic adults with no friends, no employable skills, no human contact but ageing parents and rare, fleeting therapy sessions. Many of these people are quirky and brilliant, but there’s no happy ending for them.
Being an Autistic Adult.
Autism never goes away. It never gets ‘better’. It isn’t curable because it’s not a disease, despite what the vaccine deniers might tell you; autism is an intrinsic part of my neurological makeup, and living with it is a process of compromises.
I had to accept, early on, that I’m not the same sort of human being as the people around me. My brain is a different brand of brain: it makes different connections, processes different bits of data at different speeds. Things that seem obvious to you, need to be explained to me. I struggle to read a room, and I’m never quite sure if the person I’m talking to would really rather I shut up.
Put simply, my childhood experiences made me keenly aware of myself as an outsider. I need to watch for people’s reactions to anything I say or do, all the while navigating a maze of social cues and left-unsaids — but sooner or later, I’m always going to slip up. When you are differently-brained, it’s easy to misinterpret instructions, or to misjudge which thread of discussion is most important; and when you’re processing so much data at any one time, small-yet-vital points are going to slip under the radar. The result is being told off, being laughed at (‘laughing with you, not at you’ is another fun slogan I’ve learned to endure), and generally feeling stupid or useless for overlooking one point of data among hundreds.
As I grew into an adult, I got better at performing normal. Nowadays, only those who spend a lot of time around me can spot the signs of my condition: I seem confident, funny, sympathetic, and I make friends easily. As I write this, I can’t help but feel uneasy: it makes me wonder, and not for the first time, how much of my personality is genuine. In high-stress situations, the generic piece of advice is ‘relax and be yourself.’ Succeeding in life as an autistic person means learning not to be yourself, or at least creating a version of yourself that can exist in public — so, where does the real me end, and the performance begin? Are they one and the same? I’ll never know the answer to that question.
Being an autistic adult, then, means pretending I’m not autistic for the benefit of other people. It’s a lifelong, often exhausting performance, and the temptation to retreat into my shell is ever present. But, just like anyone else, I long for human contact, so the compromise is a necessary one.
Blessings & Curses: Redux.
Terry Pratchett wrote that humans need to learn to believe the little lies so they can believe in big ones. There’s something I wish I knew during the bad years; that I was far from the only person suffering from my condition. My parents were stumbling in the dark just like me, except they had to pretend everything was under control.
My dad confided in me, recently, how he used to cry — a lot — during those days when I would return from school after another worst day of my life, talking about footballs thrown at my head, being cornered and verbally abused, or being removed from class after another tantrum. These were practically daily occurrences, and they’ve left their lifelong marks on me, but I’ve never lacked for brilliant people willing to help, people who were alongside me in my suffering. Raising a child is hard, and raising a neurodivergent child is even harder. Can I blame my parents for wanting to believe in blessings, and not curses?
Most of the time, those bad years seem like a distant memory. I don’t see autism as my blessing or my curse; it’s just a part of me — a frustrating, limiting, often embarrassing part of me, but one just as vital as my eye colour or ethnicity. I’ve come to accept it and be content despite it, and I suppose that’s the best outcome I could hope for.
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Hiveswap: Act 2 review
It’s the end of November. The shitshow known as 2020 will soon come to an end. So why not talk about Hiveswap: Act 2 for a minute? As I said days ago, Act 2 didn’t suck major ass. Overall I thought it was pretty good. Unfortunately, like many games, it also has some bullshit in it.
Just to warn you up before we start: While I’m not gonna talk about major spoilers from the game, there still will be topics that might be considered as one. Proceed with caution.
Byers-Tier of Awesomeness(positives):
Let’s start with the story. I kinda enjoyed it. It starts off slow but when it reaches the 2nd act (as in, the train), it gets better. We get the target location to get there and we are under the time limit to do so. So yeah, a solid motivation to go forward, and it makes sense what we are doing with the train.
The characters, however, are probably the best thing in Act 2, particularly our two main protagonists. I fucking adore Joey and Xefros! I adore what they do! I adore the dialogues between them! I fucking adore them! I fucking adore them!! I!!! FUCKING!!! ADORE!!! THEM!!!
As for the rest of the cast, it was mostly good. I kind of expected that the characters would act differently than in Friendsim(since you know, different people were writing them), but most of the time, I think they were acting like in the Friendsim. Sure, some of them could stick up for more time and there is definitely one troll who overestimated hER WELCOME but I’ll talk about it later.
There isn’t really much to talk about the graphics about it. Both backgrounds and characters look amazing and props to the artists for a fantastic work.
The soundtrack is still God-tier. Then again, it’s James Roach and Toby Fox (with some help from Clark Powell). These guys can make gold out of thin air. My three favorite music pieces were the first three variations of Ticket to Ride (the last one especially was stuck in my head for a long time)
Now let me show you some of the highlights from the game (particularly, the train ones):
The first act (before the train): The bug lusii from Charun’s and Zebede’s hives and the train station. Their design is awesome and I want to pet them.
Rust/Bronze wagon: It was kinda hard to choose the highlight from this section since it’s pretty short but I think I’ll go with Skylla. Her smile fucking broke me!
Gold/Olive wagon: The wagon itself was the best part of this section since it reminded me of the trains (railbuses to be exact) I used to take in the past. Asides from that, there is also Konyyl.
Jade/Teal wagon: Ignoring how the trial was a chore, Tyzias was a fucking savage beast in this game and I fucking love her for that. The best part was how she and Joey basically straight out humiliated Tegiri for being such an attention-seeking failure of a Tealblood. Stuff like this makes Tyzias the best troll out of her caste (in Hiveswap of course).
Blue/Indigo wagon: Amisia.
…
What? You want me to say more? NOPE! There is nothing else to add. Amisia is still the best! She was an adorable, murderous child back then, in Friendsim, and she’s still the same child now. I fucking love her!
I’m not going to talk about what happens in the third act because, you know, spoilers, but let me tell you: it gets fucking intense.
Septic Tank of Caliborn’s Yaoi Filth(negatives):
Unfortunately, Hiveswap: Act 2 is not all fine and dandy as you might have guessed. It can be infuriating sometimes.
Let’s start with the most obvious con: The trial in the Jade/Teal wagon. It drags the game out for way too long. When I was playing the game, it was around 10-11 PM when I reached this wagon. I’ve decided to finish Act 2 the next day after finishing that part of the game. Unfortunately, it went on, and on, and on for so long that I’ve decided: Fuck it! and stopped when I reached the recess. Sure, there are some funny moments like the one I’ve mentioned before but when you create a segment that feels like it’s ten times longer than it actually is, shows that you need to triple-check your in-making game before releasing it.
Now for my personal worst aspect of Act 2: Elwurd. Good, fucking, GOD!!! I fucking hate this one-note character for being such a plank of wood! The fact that we have to overly rely on her of all the trolls pisses me off even more! I’m serious, we are forced to ask her for help like three to four times to go further! Let me show you an example: You receive an item that you have to show to another troll. To make it look more convincing, you need Remele to cover it in paint. Now here’s the catch: In order to get the painted item, directly talking to her will do shit! Seriously! You have to talk to a plank of wood with I’M GAY written all over it to actually get help from Remele!!
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OKAY! TIME OUT! CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHICH ONE OF THE WRITERS DECIDED IT WILL BE A GREAT IDEA TO TURN JOEY INTO A FUCKING SIMP?!?! Is it because they want to develop Joey in terms of her sexuality?! Well, I don’t think it’s a good idea to use someone who’s attitude screams GIMME DA PUSSAY every time there is a dialogue with her!! Like, for fuck sake, Tegiri was more enjoyable to watch! Hell, Zebruh, of all trolls, was more bearable than Elwurd! And we are supposed to hate his guts!! You could have make Joey ask for help from the other trolls that didn’t really shined in this game but NO! You are forcing us to pick the most boring one for help over and over again!! GOD FU-
technical difficulties
Okay, this rant was going on for too far. Let’s change the topic.
For some unknown reasons, Zebede and Charun were not in this game. Like, we saw them on promotional media and I saw that they were probably finished so the reason why the rest of the cast was in Act 2 but not them is nonsensical.
Although the artwork is still amazing, it feels rushed and unpolished in some places. For instance when Joey and Xefros are passed out, instead of the animation of them waking and standing up, they just… POP And now they stand up.
…
Okay?!
Also I would prefer for items to be more usable.
And that’s basically all stuff that I have to say about Hiveswap: Act 2.
Before I’ll end up my review, however, there is one last elephant in the room that needs to be said about: the credits that weren’t implemented when this game was released a few days ago. While the reason behind this decision can be considered reasonable (as is, avoiding a backlash until the hype wents out) since some of the fans can be considered complete nutcases straight out of Arkham Asylum, the decision itself overall feels hyperbolic to me. I saw many artists who were showing the assets from the game that they were working on, and they were proud of their work. They wanted to share it with fans and they were greeted with a very warm response from the fans. It basically looks more like it was about the writers and directors not getting a backlash for the decisions they created since some of them were working on the highly controversial Epilogues and an even worse sequel to them. If that was the case, then why not just have the credits from the beginning but without the directors and writers until around three months pass? There! Problem solved!
Summary:
Despite the trial, despite Elwurd being Elwurd, lack of two characters and the overall roughness, Hiveswap: Act 2 is still a very good game. While I don’t believe anymore that any of the future installments will give us the same level of magic that Act 1 did, I was still satisfied with what we got.
Before I’ll finally take a break from Homestuck for a long time, let me tell you something. The beginning of the game with the train in the background felt like this:
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After finishing it, the atmosphere changed to this:
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I’ll let you feel it for a moment. >:]
See you all next time.
Bye!
#homestuck#hiveswap#hiveswap act 2#review#joey claire#xefros tritoh#skylla koriga#konyyl okimaw#tyzias entykk#amisia erdehn#elwurd#zebede tongva#charun krojib
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The Unwritten “Rules” of Smash Bros. Speculation
Super Smash Bros. has become one of the most ambitious crossovers in all of gaming, featuring characters from seemingly endless franchises duking it out. With each new installment, fans eagerly make the cases for their preferred choices, and with the advent of DLC, even after the game launches fans still speculate as to who will join the battle. The most recent title, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, is no exception. As of this writing, we have six more DLC characters incoming for Ultimate, and speculation is in full swing. While it IS fun to speculate, attempting to narrow an almost infinite number of choices down to just six is quite the undertaking, so I thought it’d be more interesting to instead look at the arguments people often have for or against certain inclusions. I aim to compile the “rules” of who can and cannot get into Smash Bros. and see which rules hold water and which ones are on thin ice. Let’s begin!
NINTENDO ONLY
I’ll start with what was once one of the most binding rules for speculation. Smash Bros. was at one time, a celebration and collection of solely Nintendo-owned IPs, and despite fans pleas, various other characters from other companies surely couldn’t join in the fun. At least, until Brawl. Snake from the Metal Gear franchise and Sonic the Hedgehog himself made the leap from dream to reality as they were added to the roster and from that day onwards, nothing has ever been the same. In fact, we’re at a point now where most wish lists are populated almost entirely by third-party characters. It’s safe to say that this particular rule WAS broken and should be casted aside, however in its place another, similar rule has cropped up.
FRIENDLY RELATIONS
OK, so Nintendo doesn’t need to own the character in question…but they damn well better have been on a Nintendo console! The better the relationship between Nintendo and the game/franchise in question, the better chance they have of appearing in Smash, at least according to some people. Looking at our guests in general, this rule DOES seem to hold some water. Snake is a tad of a stretch, as the bulk of the Metal Gear Solid games aren’t on Nintendo platforms, though Twin Snakes exists, and the original Metal Gear was on the NES, so you could make an argument for him. Sonic, Mega Man, Simon and Pac-Man have made plenty of appearances on Nintendo consoles and while Microsoft owns Banjo now, he got his start with Nintendo. But then we have Cloud and Joker, who throw a wrench into the works. Both characters at the time of their playable debut had only appeared in spinoffs on Nintendo systems, with the games they made their ACTUAL debut in not appearing on any Nintendo console. Cloud famously made his debut in the first Final Fantasy game to NOT be on a Nintendo system. Over the years however, Cloud would appear in cameos in smaller spinoffs, as early as the Game Boy Advance as a summon in Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories, and as per Sakurai’s own explanation, Cloud is meant to be a rep for the franchise on the whole, and there were indeed six other games Nintendo had on their consoles as “justification.” For Joker however, the Persona series stuck to Sony platforms, though the series they spun off from, Shin Megami Tensei, DID have tied to Nintendo, and the spinoff Persona Q was released as a 3DS title, so he gets in…BARELY.
I do find it interesting to note that, even if fans might not hold belief in this “rule,” other developers seem to respect it. When asked if Dante from the Devil May Cry series could see a playable appearance in Smash, Capcom instead stated that his own games would have to be on Switch first…and then a few months later, they put Devil May Cry 1 on Switch. Is this merely a coincidence? Maybe, but it’s pretty funny all the same. So far this rule has been bent, not broken, but I think it’s only a matter of time. This of course isn’t the only “rule” that’s open to some wiggle-room.
2 SEXY 2 VIOLENT
Nintendo is a family-friendly company and while they DO occasionally opt for more mature titles, they seem to put a lot of importance on casting a wide net and not going for too many ratings above T for Teen, or the rough equivalent in Europe and Japan. So when it comes to Smash, which is in part a celebration of all of Nintendo (plus guests), it pays to make sure THAT game keeps a similar rating. So any character addition that could jeopardize that rating is immediately suspect in the eyes of fans, and I’m inclined to agree. Throughout Smash’s life, we’ve seen how Nintendo and Sakurai have had to bow to the almighty ratings board. Items like the Ray Gun are designed to be as cartoonish as possible, and while this IS a game about smacking people around with punches, kicks, tail swipes and the like, it’s often presented in a very over-the-top manner to lower the impact. Now, there’s plenty of ways to play up the more cartoonish aspects of violence for new playable reps, but there seem to be limits. Bayonetta can’t use her gory Torture Attacks, for one, and when it comes to firearms, the series is a little gun-shy with depicting them. Snake famously only uses explosives, despite firearms being pretty common in his games. However in recent years we’ve seen some deviations from this. Bayonetta is allowed to use her guns, and Joker himself prominently uses his own gun. Granted, Bayonetta’s firing magic bullets and technically Joker’s using a model gun, but they’re still more realistic than the standard Smash shooter. So while it’s POSSIBLE to see the likes of the Mortal Kombat cast or the Doomslayer himself, I also wouldn’t hold my breath.
(Credit to @LetItMelo on Twitter)
God forbid you show any skin either! If a character is overtly sexual in their design, there’s a good chance they’ll be excluded from all the smashing going on, and we’ve seen this in various different forms throughout the series. Following the onslaught of horny players using the in-game camera to look under character’s skirts and the like in Melee and Brawl, female character models now have nothing but darkness underneath skirts and dresses. Or you can be like Rosalina and have the entire universe there. Even non-playable characters can’t escape alteration or even outright removal. Data suggests that the Fire Emblem character Tharja was supposed to be a trophy in the 3DS version of Smash 4, however the trophy does not exist in-game and the fact that her outfit is mostly a sheer bodysuit likely has something to do with it. In Ultimate in particular, the Xenoblade character Mythra had her Spirit altered; her boob window was removed and she gained tights on her otherwise bare legs. And this was just for some 2D art! Then there’s the case of Mai Shiranui, who was excluded from making a cameo on Terry Bogard’s stage, despite the multitude of other SNK character cameos and her status as one of the more recognizable SNK characters. In the Japanese version of Terry’s showcase video, Sakurai specifically states that the ratings board prevented them from including her.
But Bayonetta got in! And sure, she did, but with some concessions made. Her Wicked Weaves no longer leave her naked, only losing part of her outfit, and her more sexual traits are downplayed. There’s also Zero Suit Samus’ uh…let’s say alluring design, so there’s clearly wiggle room here, but at the same time both characters in question are still relatively covered up. I’m not saying it’s impossible for a Senran Kagura or Dead or Alive character to make the leap to playable status but I AM saying that they’d probably have to cover up or get some breast reduction surgery before they can make their debut. Still, ratings are not set in stone and over time, things change and gray areas emerge. With that in mind, I suppose we might as well take a look at one of the murkier, unclear “rules” fans have invented.
HE’S AN ASSIST, GET OVER IT
Being a playable character isn’t the ONLY way to be represented in Super Smash Bros. of course, and throughout the years we’ve seen various ways to get in on the fun. Stages, items, trophies, assists, Spirits, and Mii costumes all exist as ways to make a nod to virtually any franchise under the sun, but the question remains…if you’re already represented in such a way, do you have a shot at being made playable? Looking across the games, the answer would seem to be “Maybe in the next game.” Pit was a trophy in Melee before being brought back (and redesigned) for Brawl. The likes of Little Mac, Dark Samus and Isabelle have been Assist Trophies in one game, only to become playable in the next, and while Chrom and King K. Rool were Mii costumes in Smash 4 they’re playable in Ultimate. So far, we haven’t seen a single character make the playable jump in the same game, even with the option of DLC, but is it really such an impossibility?
Looking at items, like the Assist Trophies or even the Pokeball items, there are times when certain items won’t spawn, so it’s not too much of a stretch to say that, if Waluigi was chosen as a playable character, you couldn’t just find a way to keep his Assist Trophy from popping up in a match. This seems to happen in stages too; if a Link is playable in the Spirit Tracks stage, another character conducts the train. To run counter to that though, Ridley being made playable (and scaled down) is likely the biggest reason that the Pyrosphere stage didn’t make the return in Ultimate. That being said…Chrom is playable now, but he’s still part of both Robin’s Final Smash AND their win screens so…who can say what the actual edict is here?
Spirits are definitely a strange issue; if we take it as fact that if you have a Spirit in the game already, you can’t be made playable…that essentially means that 99% of Nintendo’s stable are ineligible and that just doesn’t seem right to me. Why limit yourself that much? Your only remaining options are brand new games that come out after Ultimate, though we’ve also had DLC spirits added in to promote a lot of these games. I’d like to assume that, at the very least, if you get in as a DLC Spirit, it’s unlikely that you’d be made playable later on. We have cases like the random Resident Evil Spirit event that casually gave us the most popular villain (Wesker) and the three most iconic protagonists of the series (Jill, Leon and Chris), which would make me question what a Resident Evil Spirit Board for a potential DLC character would look like. Why add that franchise in AHEAD of their playable appearance? Overall, I’d argue that a character with a Spirit in the base game has a chance of being made into playable DLC…but it’s a slight chance.
But then we have costumes…and this is where it can get interesting. Characters that are already playable can have costumes based off of them, as the likes of Link and Samus demonstrate, and even in the case of someone like Chrom who finally made the leap to playable, his costume still exists. But it’s the third-party costumes that garner the most attention. At launch, none of the third-party costumes from Smash 4 were in Ultimate, though as the Fighter’s Pass has doled out characters, these costumes have been slowly brought back, alongside new ones. At present, all of Namco’s costumes have yet to be seen, as well as the costume of one oft-requested puppet, Geno. Does this mean Namco will get a DLC rep, or that Geno will finally make the dreams of many fans come true? Anything’s possible, but there are no guarantees. As we can see with the likes of Sans and Cuphead, it’s also possible for characters to be added in as more elaborate costumes than your typical Mii flair. It certainly seems more likely to me that, say, Shantae could get a special Mii costume, even when she’s already a Spirit in the base game, and this might apply to other fan favorites too. On the whole though, there’s just a lot that’s up in the air regarding this particular rule. Nothing has contradicted it yet, but I can’t say I’d rule anything out in this case. If there’s ONE stipulation we have gotten confirmation on MULTIPLE times however, it’s this next “rule.”
NO GOKU ALLOWED
Smash Bros. celebrates video games, end of story, so all the cries to add in X character from some other form of media are ultimately fruitless. Sakurai won’t add Son Goku from Dragon Ball, and we won’t get Iron Man or Shrek. At present, the only characters that aren’t strictly FROM a video game, are at least intimately related TO video games. Both R.O.B. and Mr. Game&Watch are basically mascots for the NES and Game&Watch systems respectively, and they’re deeply tied to Nintendo’s own history as it is, so no one really bats an eye at their inclusion. Aside from kinda “tainting” the pureness of the series by introducing something that’s not a video game, there’s also licensing issues to consider…as well as the fact that it’d be a Pandora’s box the likes of which we’d never recover from. If Goku got in, then why not George Costanza or Spongebob or Walter White? It’d never end and the series would lose its identity.
There are still, however, a few characters that fans desperately want in the game, and they have this rule to contend with first. Geralt of the Witcher series is brought up as a possible inclusion, however the character originates from books. While the games have certainly gained notoriety and in some cases have surpassed the books in the public consciousness, that doesn’t change the fact that Geralt isn’t strictly a video game character. Oddly enough, however, he’s made the rounds in a lot of different video games over the past few years. He’s available as a character customization option in Daemon X Machina for one, a Switch-exclusive mecha game from 2019, and also in 2019 he was a guest character in Soulcalibur VI. Granted, that series has already seen guests from other mediums, like from the Spawn comics or characters from the Star Wars series. His appearance in Monster Hunter: World is also pretty unexpected, so it wouldn’t be completely out of nowhere to expect him to eventually make it to gaming’s biggest crossover, but I have my doubts. There’s also Sora from the Kingdom Hearts series, and while he DID originate in a video game, he is co-owned by Disney, and is closely tied to their properties as a result. Now, it’s not as if Nintendo hasn’t had a relationship with Disney; plenty of Disney games have appeared on Nintendo systems, but including Sora in Smash would either mean erasing any connections to the Disney characters in his games, or adapting them and subsequently breaking this massive rule and causing pandemonium! OK, it’s not as serious as all that, but it’d be a…delicate deal at any rate. Disney is pretty protective of their IPs, and Sora is also co-owned by Square Enix who is also pretty protective and hard to work with…Cloud barely got back into Smash Ultimate for one thing, and the rights for all that Dragon Quest music couldn’t have been cheap, so I feel like Nintendo wouldn’t be willing to go in on this a third time, especially with Disney’s involvement. But…miracles can happen, I suppose.
LITERALLY WHO?!
For our last “rule” here, I want to tackle one of the more subjective stipulations: relevancy. When it comes to shooting down character choices, you’ll often hear things like “that series hasn’t had a new entry in YEARS, so why would they promote that?!” or “that puppet’s been in one niche game that no one knows about!” It is true that characters in Smash do tend to promote newer games, as the likes of Roy, Corrin, Byleth, Joker and Hero show. I mean, why ELSE is the hero from Dragon Quest XI the default costume, other than that he’s the new hotness? But I think it’s clear at this point, especially when it comes to Ultimate, that being relevant isn’t everything. King K. Rool hasn’t been used in well over a decade, but he was added due to fan demand. A similar thing can be said for Banjo, as Microsoft hasn’t exactly used that IP in a while, and many would argue that Minecraft is a much more relevant rep from Microsoft if anything.
You’ll see people complain about certain inclusions with the argument that “no one knows who that character is!” but often that just demonstrates the complainer’s own bubble. Many in the West might not have gone CRAZY when Hero was announced, but Japan LOVES Dragon Quest and its inclusion is HUGE. Sakurai himself even notes this when going over Terry Bogard and SNK’s own history in the arcades. Relevancy only matters so much; if fans want them, and they bring something new and fun to the table, they have a chance. So this rule, as far as I’m concerned, isn’t one to take seriously. One man’s niche is another’s mainstream, really.
CONCLUSION
At the end of the day, Super Smash Bros. frequently makes dreams come true and breaks through any preconceived notions regarding who can and cannot smash, so I do find it somewhat of a fool’s errand to compile these “rules” and act like they’re the gospel. In truth, Nintendo and Sakurai can do whatever they want, and with enough time and money, anything is possible. There was once a time when we thought Sonic or Banjo fighting Mario and Link was a pipe dream, or hell…the entire concept of Nintendo all-stars all in one place was pretty farfetched over 20 years ago, but look at where we are now. As the old saying goes, rules are made to be broken…so clearly our next 6 characters are Doomslayer, Kasumi from DOA, Waluigi, Geno, Sora and Hank Hill. Yup. And I for one will be INCREDIBLY DISAPPOINTED if that is not the case!
In all seriousness, speculate away, because at the end of the day, it’s pretty fun and harmless by itself! Just…hype responsibly, OK?
Happy Smashing
-B
#smashbros#supersmashbros#smashultimate#nintendo switch#doom guy#doomslayer#waluigi#sora#kingdom hearts#geno#super mario RPG#fighter's pass
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Nintendo Switch Online, 1 year in review...
Well, well, well... Nintendo Switch Online...
You’re cheap, but you’re too cheap in return sometimes. I want to talk about it and some of my frustrations about it (and not necessarily with Nintendo). To do this, I will talk about each feature seperately.
Online Play
The most obvious feature is Online Play. It went from being free to being paid, which is pretty much a problem but then the competitors do the same. Many Nintendo games do not have the most stable netplay, even though I do not have most of the problems that other people get.
I’m not going to do a P2P vs Dedicated, or rather I would like to say that people genuinely don’t understand basic netplay and are all going against P2P without knowing that some of the games that works fine are probably all running on P2P to begin with.
I’m not gonna go into the details, nor do I want to say I’m an expert, each have their own pros and cons, but I think the main issue is ultimately the netcode.
Here’s hoping with GGPO being open source and free to use for professionals now, the future could be a lot brighter.
I would want Nintendo to take netcode a little more seriously and test it in homes with slower Internet. Testing it with Wi-Fi and Ethernet and everything.
Save Data Cloud
This feature technically works. You’d think it’s hard to fail, right?
Of course they did when some games just don’t provide the support for it because of fear that people may abuse it for cheating... Meh.
Nintendo uses the exemple of having a broken Switch to where this feature might come in handy. Too bad this also means completely lost saves for some of the most important games like Splatoon 2 or Animal Crossing, the latter being really annoying if you lose hundreds or even thousands of hours...
Smartphone App
This one is tough because potential was there. Truly a waste of time.
All of the main services could have just been a website that works on PC and Mobile. But I think the main issue is that people don’t really want to check stuff about their game all the time because there is simply not enough feedback.
There was actually better execution when SplatNet was a regular website accessible on every device, Super Mario Maker Bookmark website too, instead everything is stuck to an app, limiting uses.
Content should be seen from everywhere when it’s possible. Making it work behind a subscription fee was a terrible idea.
And then let’s not even talk about the voice chat. That is a truly depressing thing. Why making it stuck to mobile? I get that you don’t want the Switch to process that stuff for performance reasons but truly that stuff is supported on it too...
Special Offers
Let me list what extra stuff we got from Nintendo Switch Online:
Exclusive Splatoon 2 Gears
Tetris 99
Game Vouchers
The right to buy NES/SNES Controllers
Game Trials (for only one game)
I did not list another thing that will be its own seperate bullet point.
Tetris 99 was truly the best part of this. It’s actually a pretty darn good game. Game Vouchers could have been nice if you couldn’t get the brand new games for cheaper in physical form.
Game Trials was a thing they tested at one point, but then they just didn’t bother...
We, subscribers, don’t really get a lot of extras, do we?
My Nintendo (Bonus Rant)
Nothing has been more of a waste than My Nintendo. Gold Points finally started to be kind of useful since it became an equivalent to a cent for the Switch eShop, but that’s the only good point I could give to it.
Its execution is terrible, and unlike many people, I do not have a lot of good memories about Club Nintendo (the European one, that said), because most of the cool items we only could get the stars we needed much later and then then the item was gone. That’s literally most of my experience with Club Nintendo.
When I learned that with the North American Club Nintendo you could get virtual console games and other cool shit I was genuinely disappointed how the European one was. And I’m not mentioning how the Japanese Club Nintendo had some of the cooler things than the west ever got.
And then My Nintendo has none of the cool things from any regional Club Nintendo... what’s the plan, Nintendo? Why does this exist?
The day 3DS and Wii U will stop being supported, what will happen to the vouchers that you guys always put up? Will it become even more useless?
NES / SNES Nintendo Switch Online
Now the real meat because that’s the stuff I really would like to talk about.
You guys know how involved I am with retro Nintendo content and I can be very invested about this kind of stuff because I just love Nintendo’s games.
Unlike many people, I don’t mind the subscription aspect and the fact you don’t really own these games anymore compared to Virtual Console games. I think this has ultimately been the better thing to do. However I find many problems with the execution of it, especially in the long run.
Due to its subscription nature, I did expect it to have less games than Virtual Console. Rights have to be renegotiated, and the most I expected were Nintendo games. Turns out we got some third parties, some even high profile, pretty cool.
But there are pretty infuriating stuff, like the slow drip feed we get. I get that you want to keep interest going for these games over time but there’s a lot of problems with that entails, and that’s how most of us are frustrated that Nintendo is not using the Switch to its highest potential, and especially about having all of the Nintendo games possible in a small amount of time.
Its portable nature wants us that Nintendo puts all of the retro games as quickly as possible, we want to dedicate our time to the Switch instead of plugging the Wii and Wii U for VC games that aren’t there. We want N64, GB/C/A, GameCube, and more. We want to have Mario Party 2 netplay in an official capacity, and so on...
I noticed the potential of retro Switch Online offer when I found myself addicted to Balloon Fight. Actually a game I’ve never downloaded off ROM sites before, as I usually dismissed it as being too simple. However the game was just there and I gave it a shot. This is one of the reasons why its subscription nature didn’t mind me, it got me to spend time with some games I usually wouldn’t spend time with, especially for NES.
I want to put a list of things that I want Nintendo to do with their retro offering to bring interest, but also sustain it:
- Bigger Drips of games
This seems trivial, but keep in mind that games have to be tested before going live, we pretty much want at least 3 games per month for each console. But stuff takes time and we at least want more communication about this aspect. We just want more games.
- Localized games
This is a personal pet peeve and only works for people whose native language is not English. I do not expect of Nintendo to localize retro games, but at least to release localized ROMs of games when they exist.
I expected of them to release these:
Kirby’s Adventure, French and German versions (yes, they exist)
Super Metroid, European version (that’s a bit more controversial however...)
Zelda: A Link To The Past, French and German versions (French even has an official 60hz version)
Yoshi’s Island, European version.
I know what you could say, 50hz games suck, music is slower- Stop. My only answer is fuck you.
Also, SNES 50hz games cannot have slower music, aside from a few rare ones. If you remember games having slower music on PAL SNES you have a bad memory and mixed up with NES or Mega Drive or something.
I don’t see how, as a developer myself, a selection menu could not be implemented for selecting the language for a game. That way you let people play whatever they want, it’s less painful, everyone is happy.
I still wish for Nintendo to localize retro games however, or maybe even bring unreleased localizations of games if they approved it back then...
- Random Game of the Day / Moment
This seems like a dumb idea, but when I played Balloon Fight I noticed how Nintendo could bring attention to games that don’t necessarily get it.
When the library gets bigger, some games will be left on the side over others, a system to bring motivation to play those games, even as simple as a random game name at the top, is better than what piracy can even bring you.
Maybe you could even implement a button that selects a random game.
- Game Tweaks / Special Versions
AKA USE LUA SCRIPTS IN GAMES
Now we’re starting to get a bit on the expensive side of things.
Special Versions of games aren’t really good on NES, they’re just save states. Some are useful (Golf Course unlocks), some are amusing (Zelda), but most of them are just a save state at the end of the game.
I want them to go on the next stage of this, actually hack the games, or even scripts on top of them. You see, some emulators have scripting features that can alter the game, in ways that improves them (map on Metroid NES), or outright gameplay altering (Kirby Canvas Curse gameplay on Super Mario Bros. 3).
I gave real exemples of use, these could be used to make games easier, harder, balanced, weirder, just like another concept that Nintendo did... NES REMIX. (What a waste of a concept... This really got people into NES games.)
I wish for Nintendo to use their LUA script system already in place for the menus, for their emulator.
This could also aid in development of localization of games without altering the ROM and without space issues.
And this could aid in making SNES Mouse games to work on a touch screen and more, it’s genuinely easy to figure out I could do it myself in a day... ;)
- Shared Library of games between Japan & International
...Well all I want is that I don’t have to need to download the japanese app or the japanese to download the international app to play other games that are not present in the local library. I thought this would have been solved with Super Puyo Puyo 2 but guess not.
This could have the added bonus of japanese games on top of the american (and european?) ones.
- Game Events
Sort of an extra to game tweaks, bringing events for people to play a specific retro game and give them gold points or something. Events could have objectives, achievements, scoreboards, many things could be done here.
You could even bring in the Nintendo World Championship ROMs, other competition stuff, or even games like soundlink games from the Satellaview like BS Zelda, BS Super Mario All-Stars and so on. These games are made for competition!
This is the ultimate thing to bring people to play retro games, bring the unusual games that most people have possibly never even heard about!
- Others
Some of those bullet points don’t need a big explanation:
More Unreleased Retro Games (Japan only or even anywhere)
Localize Retro Games that were never localized (not just in english!)
Borders
Small Control Scheme Help (to compensate for lack of manuals)
5-player Netplay support for SNES (Super Puyo Puyo 2 supports 4 player)
Netplay with Global Rooms with passwords and not just stuck to friends. (This should be a thing for EVERY GAME. This could even be a Switch OS feature.)
Automatic Matchmaking for certain games?
I have also always said this: I’m interested to work with you, Nintendo, on this kind of stuff...
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WHERE'S THE WEREWOLF ESSAY, OP??
@malaloba @bisexualducknewton You also dared me to say this so you get a tag
Okay so fun facts about Tyler Keegan Casey (I literally just wanted to make a joke about Tyler Casey abbreviating to Tyler K.C):
His parents, Edgar Casey and Rebecca Wilson, got married at 18. Their reasoning was "hey, we've been together all of high school, we still like each other, and I think our kids would be really hot." A bit of the shine wore off for Rebecca, though, when it turned out Edgar inherited a controlling streak from his parents. He got it in his head that his growth as a person required moving as far away from tiny little Casper, WV as he could. Which was fine, and would've been true if he’d put any actual EFFORT into growing up, except he made that decision without consulting his wife. Family was the most important thing in the world for her, which meant she didn't want to leave. Unfortunately, family was the most important thing in the world to her, and Edgar was technically her family.As far away as possible turned out to be Fortville, Indiana. At around 3000 people, it was certainly bigger than Casper, but much smaller than Edgar's ambitions. Unfortunately, they'd run out of gas, and got stuck in town long enough for Rebecca to work up her courage and deliver an ultimatum: they were eight hours from Casper, close enough to drive over, and she'd live no further away than that.Tyler was born a few years later and grew up the only "daughter" of the household, pretty in a generic way and polite to a fault. His homesick mama taught him that he'd know when he found his people on account of the decision to give up everything for them would only hurt a little. His pyramid-scheme chasing daddy taught him that the key to success is for people to think you're one of their people, and who gives a shit if it's true or not?Up until he was twenty he was a full-on social chameleon: he wore the closest thing he could get to the "right" clothes, he did his hair in the "right" way, he laughed at the right jokes and had a crush on all the right boys. Third runner up for prom queen, dated at least three members in the football team (the breakups were never his fault, of course. He'd take a relationship as far as the other person wanted, he only dated them because they wanted to date him after all), popular but not so popular for people to consider him a threat.Every holiday, Tyler and his mama went off to Casper to visit her family. That meant he ended up at the kids table with his two younger cousins Franc ( @keplersheetz) and Vicki. Franc and Vicki were practically sisters, Franc lived with Vicki's parents whenever her ma was off dealing with her host of mental issues, which meant that Tyler was kind of the third wheel.
Tyler ended up the responsible one, and town gossip went on about how they hoped he'd be a good influence, because wasn't he just a perfect little child? Gossip about Franc went on about how she was wild, about how she didn't follow rules, if she wasn't careful she'd end up just like her mother and didn't Vicki's parents worry about if she was a bad influence? No one gossiped about Vicki at all.
It created a weird circle of jealousy, where Tyler envied Franc for having the guts to be herself, Franc worried that Vicki would end up liking Tyler better than her, and Vicki wished somebody might talk about her instead of other people’s “influence” on her. In general, Tyler and Franc didn't get along on account of they were very different and had no interests in common, but when you spend months each year as an obligatory playmate you end up developing at least a little fondness.Tyler went to Indiana University Bloomington, close enough to home for both his parents and also in possession of a Bachelors program for early childhood education. He quickly acquired a job at the library, a reputation as "a pleasure to have in class," an overcommitment to several clubs, and a thoroughly mediocre boyfriend. He also ended up in two classes with and as a coworker to Monet, ( @pleasekalemenow). In sophomore year, the two were roommates and in three classes together, which was haha a funny coincidence. Then in Spring term Tyler had a stress breakdown and Monet was so thrown by composed, fake-ass Tyler losing his shit over something completely minor that she ended up sitting with him for four hours and now they're best friends.In the summer before Junior year he was like "hey wait a fucking second, if I'm completely changing my personality around other people so that they'll like me...do they actually like me?" and decided that fuck it, I'm going to just have my own personality and work my hardest to make it so people find that person likable. The most obvious shift - aside from him breaking up with his mediocre boyfriend and quitting half of his clubs - was coming out as, you know, a dude.
His parents didn't really...get it? His mom continues to this day to treat it as something she supports but just can't understand, and his dad kind of took it as a personal attack because his dad is a self-obsessed jackass. The rest of the family didn't really express an opinion on any of this, on account of Vicki had a baby and Franc ran away from home just a little while later. Compared to having a daughter under 18 and just straight up disappearing, being trans wasn't all that embarrassing to them.Things went pretty decent for half of Junior year. Then one day while he was watching a kindergarten class, the last kid to be picked up at the end of the day turned into an eldritch horror and ate the other student teacher. The FBI’s Paranormal Research and Investigation division showed up and was like "hey I'm pretty sure you can guess that we're going to tell you to keep this hush hush, so keep this fucking hush hush." Tyler went "wow you know I don't like being kept in the dark about all this," so he changed his major to criminal justice and worked his ass off to graduate at the same time as everyone else. Then he joined the FBI, and when they were interviewing him he dropped some line about "oh, I saw something once and the, uh, I think it was PRI? Said that it was top secret dangerous business. I'd like to solve murders like that :)" and the PRI kind of went "well...I guess? we can hire? Him? He did a god job on all of his exams...we have no reason not to."At around this time he played the love interest in Monet's breakout limited access TV show, Once Upon a Cryptid. This show eventually gained Dr. Horrible levels of cult-classic fame, and Tyler is eternally thankful that T has at this point changed his look enough that no one really recognizes him beyond people he talks to on case being like "haha isn't it funny that you look kind of like actor Tyler Casey and you're an FBI agent just like his character?" And he just says "haha yeah I get that a lot :)"The PRI was also like "hey can you keep an eye on this person who is causing trouble with conspiracy theory shit?" Tyler says "uh yeah, sure? Anything I should know?" And the PRI is like "well it's your cousin, but other than that, nah, glhf :)"Tyler found this situation Vaguely Uncomfortable, so instead of being actually good at his job he took this opportunity to leave reminders to eat and warnings to keep her head down when she overreached. They were all signed with "The FBI Agent That's Watching You Right Now" and wow isn't it fucked up that they're closer as anonymous FBI stalker and conspiracy theorist than they were as proper childhood playmates? It fucks me up sometimes.Five years before the game starts, he goes on an investigation into what may or may not be a supernatural murderer. While in the area he runs into August Caraway ( @transagentstern), who is. Super his type. He immediately starts finding excuses to spend time w/ the hot, sensitive, painter, asking August to be his guide around the area. And also if he could see that painting that August is working on because it sounds really :) great :). Eventually he comes to the conclusion that the long periods of time between attacks and the COD indicate either a werewolf attack or a very patient predator. He goes "well, it's the new moon tonight...so if I take August out on a da-I MEAN INVESTIGATION into that clearing in the woods it'll be safe."Spoilers! It isn't!They get attacked by a werewolf. Tyler says "well, I'm an FBI agent so I should be the one to sacrifice myself" and tries to shoot the werewolf. It quickly takes him to the ground, but hey! At least August has time to run! Except instead of running, August goes up to try and save Tyler. Which ends in them both getting bitten before the silver bracelets August always wears fend the thing off. August manages to drag Tyler to civilization before losing consciousness, and the two wake up in separate hospitals. August is told Tyler got sent to a special FBI hospital, but is fine. Tyler is told August got tired of waiting around for him to wake up and left. (More fun facts: this happened the day before Pigeon's birthday! Wow! Terrible)Tyler is kept under observation for the rest of the month, just to make sure he's fine. He is, of course, not fine. The PRI is super stoked to have access to someone who is fully willing to spend the rest of his month j chillin' and then come in on the full moons, on account of most of the werewolves they have access to are ones they caught and have to keep hold of all the time. Which, like, unlawfully contained civilians are a shitty baseline.So, despite having research in their name, the PRI kinda fucking sucks at research. Their methodology is to just try shit until they figure out 1. How to kill the monster and 2. How to spot the affliction/how it progresses. They are perfectly aware of how to kill werewolves, so really all they do is stage observations under different stress conditions to play “how to spot a werewolf”.
Every experiment is just put them in a cage with moonlight access, see whether the transformation is faster/slower when the person has a certain diet/fitness level/etc. Most of the subjects can’t leave bc they’d run away and are also liable to transform sometimes which is inconvenient.
The PRI isn't especially concerned about Tyler, because they know one of the conditions for a transformation is high stress and if there's one thing he's good at it's completely repressing an anxiety attack, so he's able to pretty much do his job aside from the whole "locked up under the full moon" thing. Of course, he's ostracized by his coworkers on account of he's like. Literally a monster. But that's fine! He has Monet! Who he never tells anything about all this because he doesn't want to worry her, and also because her brother (coincidentally August, though Tyler doesn't know that) died around the time of his attack and he doesn't want her to blame herself for never trying to come see him.Good things that happen in these 5 years: he has an amicable relationship with Franc. He gets good at his job. He and Monet discover that the uncanny coincidences which led to them always having classes together carry over into their adult life, and they constantly run into each other while performing their respective jobs. She sometimes invites him to parties to stop men from hitting on her, and because he looks vaguely like Jake Gyllenhaal (that's Tyler's face claim) they get to laugh about all the tabloid rumors that Monet is dating Jake.The bad news is Tyler never had access to the other werewolves prior to the attack (it wasn't his division, and he wasn't usually in a position to take anything alive) which means he's never been around to see a new one, to watch the arc of their deterioration. Usually it goes like this: they wake up, alone and naked in a room with only a bed, a desk, and an uncomfortable wooden chair. They are given clothing by an FBI agent, sometimes that agent is sympathetic, sometimes sneering, but usually expressionless. Each full moon they transform, and remember nothing of it save pain, hunger, and the feeling of their claws digging into the metal walls. Fear is a trigger for transformation, as is anger. They are always afraid, always angry. Eventually, it becomes rare to see them in their human forms.The PRI is fucking stupid. A reasonable person might say "duh, werewolves turn when they're scared, maybe if we put them someplace less scary they'll stop turning so much." Instead, they write in their notes, the notes Tyler receives, "we're fairly certain that, at some point, the humanity of a werewolf is completely lost." He only sees werewolves that have not been human in months, or even years. Or, he sees the ones who are even worse off.The worse news is that Tyler is told there's a cure. Sometimes, the PRI manages to poke and prod at a werewolf and for reasons we just don't understand they never transform again. So he doesn't argue with the tests, and even if he writes a will he doesn't tell Monet anything because he might be fine, and he doesn't want to worry her. He throws himself into his work and into making Monet happy, because he wants to make sure that if he is lost he leaves a legacy. There's something to prove that Tyler Casey's existence was justified.Then he finds out what the cure entails. It's not recovery, not at all; it's pushing someone so hard, making them so afraid, that their body can't take being afraid anymore. A person who’s too tired to feel doesn't shift, not even under the full moon, because the werewolf's state of mind is defined by the person's emotions before it happens (so if someone was actually CALM, really truly calm, then they'd manage to control it, but hunger and anger and fear can all throw that out of wack). If the person is numb, there is nothing for the curse to react to.Tyler Casey would rather die after trying his hardest than live longer but not be able to do anything. So, when he manages to find a job opening at The Askar Foundation, a secret society with more funding and more knowledge than the FBI could ever hope for, he has no qualms spilling the PRI's secrets in exchange for a position as a field agent.As you can probably guess, August, Monet, and Franc are all there as well. The circumstances of their recruitment were significantly less...consensual than his (Monet and Franc recently saw too much and got pressganged in, and after nearly killing Franc while transformed August got dragged in for Askar's own brand of tests). This leads to a veritable five layer dip of fucking drama:1. Franc and Tyler have a private conversation which leads to the revelation of several character secrets on both their parts. This ends when Tyler and Franc both insist that they saw different things during one of the scenes. Franc has always had the ability to tell when people lie to her, but she is also convinced she's right about their topic of conversation (which uh, she IS right, so). That means that, despite the fact that she can't feel him lying, he MUST be. She's convinced that he's had the supernatural ability to get around her own uncanny powers this whole time, and thus they engaged in a Comedy of Errors where instead of mistaken identities it’s Tyler saying things that further convince Franc he's trying to manipulate the entire team2. The Askar foundation would very much like to keep their shiny new field agent, and also Tyler still has connections to the FBI and him snitching to them would be.........inconvenient. So they're willing to put effort, within reason, into making sure he doesn't find out anything that might cause problems, like the fact that August is a kind of monster Tyler has a massive vendetta against. Or uh...anything else that might make him question them. This leads to3. Askar shutting down a conversation between him and Monet, leading to her concluding that talking about their past experiences with the supernatural OR the workings of Askar will never go well. (Exacerbated by the fact that Askar had already been trying to keep her from finding out shit about her brother) 4. Consequently, Monet will no longer talk to him about deep personal topics if they lead back to these things at ALL5. Franc ended up in a romantic entanglement w/ the monster of the week, who is a shapeshifter unwillingly being used to bring about...the apocalypse. He thinks the reason she doesn’t trust him is because she figured out he was a werewolf, and doesn’t trust him/is keeping an eye on him so she can put him down when he becomes dangerous. So he thinks she hates him bc he’s a shapeshifter that has no control over himself, but then she’s fine with...the OTHER shapeshifter that has no control over himself.6. August thinks Tyler hates werewolves because of the attack, and is afraid to enter a relationship with him because he wouldn't be able to keep his condition a secret7. Tyler refuses to let himself entertain notions of actually DATING August, because Tyler thinks he's going to die and doesn't want to hurt even MORE people when he goes8. Tyler and Monet platonically love each other so much and are also living together in Seinfeld's mansion that she stole the keys to, and Tyler is an idiot which means August thinks Tyler wants to date Monet (August's SISTER)So tl;dr, Tyler thinks that after Franc gained access to more Askar files she suddenly doesn't trust him (he assumes she knows he's a werewolf), he knows that Monet suddenly doesn't want to TALK to him and knows that if he discovers anything suspicious he thus cannot tell her, and he knows he......really, really, REALLY is starting to enjoy August's companyThis means that conversations oscillate between Tyler being professionally friendly with all his coworkers, Franc interpreting something random as a personal attack, Monet deeply wishing she could tell Tyler something, and then a completely stupid conversation where Tyler and August are flirting about something stupid and getting cockblocked by Tyler's hangups and August remembering that as far as he's concerned Tyler and Monet should get together.Oh and also Askar definitely is fucking with his head at least once a session.
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More Metroid fangames
Back on Zebes and Metroid: Between Worlds are a couple of Metroid fangames I’ve worked through in recent weeks. They share the same engine, made personally by the lone developer, so it’s not surprising they share several faults, but overall I’m fairly impressed.
Back on Zebes is the less impressive of the two, which isn’t surprising given it came first. It’s reasonably accurate to think of it as a cut-down, simplified version of Super Metroid. The simplistic plot is pretty much ‘Samus has to go back to Zebes again, because Mother Brain and company are up to their prior plots again’, with no attempt made to explain why the planet literally exploding hasn’t made this plot impossible from the start. That’s okay, because Back on Zebes is more like a test run or prototype than anything else; it shows that the creator can assemble a game-like program successfully, and anything beyond that is gravy.
Most of the power-ups are familiar, though the exact physics are generally different from what you’re used to. Particularly notable is that unlike official Metroid games, enemies and projectiles that are off-screen are fully-functional/existent, which once you’re aware of it makes many of the game’s long corridors a bit of a joke: just fire blindly ahead and everything will die without you ever being in danger. As for the actually new power-ups, you’ve got a ‘magnetic shield’ that makes you immune to most sources of damage, but which is disabled if you fire a Missile or go into Morph Ball -surprisingly, firing your beam is fair game, though your ability to abuse this is limited by your invulnerability having an ‘ammo’ supply that drains quite quickly. The game uses this invulnerability for the fairly obvious ‘you’re supposed to turn invincible and walk across these spikes’ quoteunquote ‘puzzles’ common to games that include such a concept, but more unusual and creative is that a few rooms require you use it so you can activate the Speed Booster. It’s a nice little twist on two familiar concepts!
The other new thing is a fire beam or flamethrower, which has a short range but rapid fires, and more importantly some blocks can only be destroyed by it. This isn’t particularly inspired, but... well, it’s not like Metroid Prime did any better with its own flamethrower, aside the looks department. Nor is it like the main games have done a lot to experiment with the beam space. There’s certainly room for creativity in the Metroid beam set, but it’s genuinely difficult to find it. So hey, fair enough.
Back on Zebes generally attempts to approximate, rather than recreate, bosses and minibosses, and in one notable case a Super Metroid miniboss is outright replaced with one patterned after a Zero Mission miniboss. Crocomire, for example, has a regular health meter, and merely steps back as his health drops, instead of shoving him back being how you kill him. The first Torizo instead jumps you in the corridor just outside the Bomb room, instead of the Chozo Statue shedding its stone shell to attack you. For the most part, the results are unsurprisingly lackluster, with Draygon in particular being underwhelming for how exploitable his pattern is. (Admittedly, Super Metroid’s Draygon isn’t actually not exploitable) Kraid also stands out in a bad way, but instead for the fact that the game forces you to consistently ride Kraid’s spikes -an idea that is okay by itself, but made instantly horrible by the fact that the engine has no mechanics for you riding the spikes, instead having them magically slide right out from under you. This makes the fight much, much harder than it would otherwise be.
Ridley and Mother Brain are notable oddities. Ridley is an aerial duel on a timer, where you’re forced to Space Jump indefinitely because the solid ground is all under super-lava that hurts you through your Gravity Suit. This is probably the most challenging fight in the game -it’s also the one that most bluntly illustrates that the game assumes you’re using a controller, as only a portion of the keyboard controls can be edited, and doing the boss with a keyboard is quite literally physically painful. That issue aside, it was reasonably enjoyable and an interesting realization of an unusual possibility that’s long existed in the Metroid series but never been explored.
Mother Brain actually has a weird fake-out element. You fight her brain-in-a-jar form, it works out roughly as you’d expect, only once you’ve defeated that form... the self-destruct starts. Okay, the engine is clearly not suited to form changes for bosses and whatnot, that’s a little disappointing but not terribly surprising-
-and then partway through your (timed, remember) escape you stumble into Mother Brain on her body. Surprise!
Overall, Back on Zebes isn’t a game I’d recommend playing unless you’re wanting more context on the development process that lead to Metroid: Between Worlds. I enjoyed it for that aspect, but the actual core gameplay is fairly lackluster; enemies are quite sparse past the first third or so of the game, and non-boss enemies are almost never a real threat. Bosses themselves are generally simplistic, and not an elegant simplicity. Instead, the simplicity of bosses is often what makes them extraordinarily threatening: there’s not a complex pattern that once understood can be mastered reasonably readily. There’s just Phantoon constantly trying to ram you, his wonky flight physics making it very difficult to consistently avoid being hit, with periodic plasma eyeballs thrown out to make things even harder. The graphics and music aren’t going to pull you in, being primarily reused assets from Super Metroid, with a little bit of Zero Mission and Fusion thrown in. The narrative is barely there, and the creator clearly doesn’t speak English as their first language. I could go on for longer, but I think you get the point.
Still, there’s glimmers of an awareness of what a good game looks like, even if this particular game isn’t a strong implementation of this awareness.
Which brings us back to Metroid: Between Worlds.
As noted earlier, Between Worlds has a lot of the faults of the prior game due to having the same engine. It’s still a game that assumes you’re using a controller, to your physical detriment if you insist upon a keyboard, such as because you don’t have a controller compatible with a PC. The animations are less-than-great, with many enemies having no animation at all beyond their sprite sliding around, and Samus still doesn’t animate properly when firing while running. (She goes into her firing pose for literally one frame and then goes right back to pumping both arms)
Even so, it’s vastly improved on virtually every level.
The plot is a bit more sensical and fleshed-out. Samus is returning to SR388 because it turns out the Metroid problem wasn’t properly dealt with during her original trip in Metroid 2; while the game doesn’t give an explicit timeframe, it’s not difficult to guess this is meant to be occurring sometime after Super Metroid but before Fusion. That’s reasonable, even if it would probably be wonky if you tried to insert such a game into the canon timeline.
For the first half-ish of the game, that’s really all there is to the story. I’ll come back to that in a minute, though.
The gameplay in the first half is more polished than Back On Zebes. Enemies are more consistently existent, and more consistently relevant. Save points all fully restore you, which makes the process of hunting Metroids much less tedious than it might otherwise have been. There’s a fairly steady stream of microbosses in the form of Alpha and so on Metroids, which while simplistic in a broadly similar way to the Back On Zebes bosses that simplicity is much closer to elegance. As bosses were probably the strongest part of Back On Zebes, this is distinctly a good thing!
The first half-ish does drag a bit. It’s reasonably enjoyable, but I was starting to wonder if it was worth the effort to actually complete the game a good half hour or so before things picked up, because new things were being doled out at a slow pace and if it weren’t for the Metroid counter I’d have thought I was about to hit the endgame.
Then things picked up.
You pick up a power-up deep in SR388, and a self-destruct timer starts up. Okay, a little abrupt, but not completely unprecedented in a Metroid game. You keep running, and you hit Spore Spawn. O...kay. Sure, timed boss fight. If you played Back On Zebes first (I hadn’t, but whatever), this isn’t even surprising. Okay, just... kill Spore Spawn and then get out.
Oh.
Um.
Its HP is dropping... really slowly. Was I supposed to collect more Missiles first? Am I missing some trick in how to damage it even when its core isn’t exposed? Do I need to restart?
Boom, everything explodes.
And instead of a Game Over screen, you get some narration from Samus. The Space Pirates have stolen your armor, and it’s time to escape and get a replacement.
Yes, a Zero Suit Samus sequence ensues. I was fairly impressed. It hadn’t seemed likely to be within the technical ability of the creator from what I’d seen up to that point. It’s not anywhere near as good as the similar sequence from Zero Mission, but the basics of sneaking through a Space Pirate ship are kind of there. No alarm for being caught, but you’re stuck stunning Space Pirates and running. The Paralyzer even has a cooldown period, if a clearly kludged-together one.
But it gets better, as you take some sort of teleporter or something and it turns out the game has more twists. In addition to the map you’ve been running through so far, there’s a whole other map area, a dark mirror to the one you’ve been operating in, a Phazon dimension. And that notion of it being a Phazon dimension isn’t a simple recoloring of art assets: your HP actually ticks down so long as you’re wandering this place!
This part is actually a much more effective stealth sequence than the Space Pirate ship area. The game may not have any kind of ‘you’ve been spotted!’ mechanic, but it doesn’t really need one when you’re on a fairly strict timer and can’t waste time on enemies, let alone risk them hurting you.
You eventually find a Phazon Zero Suit, which is of course a black version with a distinct resemblance to one of Zero Suit Samus’ alternate costumes in the Smash Bros games. That’s a pretty clever allusion! Just don’t think too hard on why SR388′s dark doppleganger happens to have a Zero Suit that perfectly fits Samus. (Though, if we’re going there, one has to start questioning Samus’ power-ups in general, so is it really fair to hold this against this fangame?)
Anyway, this Phazon Zero Suit is not complete immunity. This makes narrative sense -for starters, Samus is still wandering around with her head exposed- and mechanically it’s used to lessen the urgency of your exploration of Dark Phazon SR388, not remove the threat of Phazon entirely. That’s pretty good design! It’s especially impressive when you consider that one of the wonky elements of Metroid Prime and especially Echoes is how your final suit upgrade is the mandatory removal of the omnipresent threat of the Hostile Environment. In Echoes’ case getting the Light Suit outright makes Dark Aether the safer place to be, since you still get to benefit from Light Crystals healing you! That’s exactly the sort of subtle problem I’d expect a fangame to faithfully recreate, not sidestep.
It is possible to eventually get a Phazon Suit that does render you completely immune to Phazon, but it’s a hidden, technically-optional bonus. I wouldn’t want to try to complete the game without it, but it is possible, at least in theory, and that makes a world of difference in the experience, especially if, like me, you actually end up not finding the Phazon Suit until you’re already through a fairly significant portion of Dark Phazon SR388.
On the topic of Samus’ actual Power Suit, this is a non-trivial misstep with the game. When you transition to the Zero Suit sequence, Samus makes an allusion to going to the ‘Golden Temple’. If you happen to regularly pause to look at your map and pay attention to map names, you’ll know that’s the Chozodia-esque place you had to pass through. If you don’t do one or the other of those things, you’re going to have to flail somewhat blindly.
Fortunately, while this is a misstep, the game is actually surprisingly careful in minimizing the damage. I actually ended up reloading a save after a bit of exploring regular SR388 when I managed to find my way back there as Zero Suit Samus, convinced I’d gotten myself into an unwinnable situation and the actual answer was back in Dark Phazon SR388, but it turned out that was unnecessary and my belief incorrect; the world is actually carefully constructed to funnel you toward the Golden Temple, with a particularly blatant example being a horizontal line of bombable tiles that seem to serve no purpose when first passing through in a Power Suit. (Unlike in Zero Mission, Zero Suit Samus can’t break bomb blocks in Between Worlds) This prevents you from haring off into completely the wrong area and potentially getting trapped.
It’s possible there is a way to get stuck permanently in this sequence, but it’s not nearly as relevant a concern as I’d have expected from a basically-one-person game.
Getting back the Power Suit of course involves a fight against the Zero Mission ghost statue mirror... thing... which is actually a pretty enjoyable fight! How you go about doing it is completely different from the Zero Mission fight, but once you’ve wrapped your head around the mechanics at work it’s an interesting twist on things. Certainly, it’s a lot less frustrating the Zero Mission’s version of the fight.
The rest of the game from there is largely focused on hunting down the myriad Metroids hidden in Dark Phazon SR388, with a few actually hidden away in regular SR388 in places you couldn’t previously access, but while the game would probably have benefited from somewhat reducing the sheer number of Metroids to kill, it starts making an effect to actually make different Metroids challenge you in different ways. Zetas that have spikes interrupting their floors, complicating the fight. Other Zetas where the ceiling is low, giving you less time to get under them to attack them. Etc. It’s all a bit primitive -it would’ve been nice to have some new attacks or other behavioral variation in later Metroids- but it’s reasonably functional all things considered.
Also, the game has a fair few non-Metroid bosses to fight. If you’re coming at it from Back On Zebes, you’re going to recognize several of them, with a cringe being merited for Kraid returning and still having his spikes slide right out from under you while you have no ground to stand on aside said spikes. Most of them are better-tuned now, though: I actually quite enjoyed fighting Phantoon in Between Worlds, for example, because his flight physics were a lot less janky. When he killed me, I came away feeling like the death was very much on me and I should refine my skills and understanding for next time, which is how a player should basically always feel when dying in a video game.
Ridley remains a timed aerial-only battle, but this time it’s fairly obvious the room is slowly getting smaller, instead of there being an explicit timer in one corner. It’s still a fight that makes it ridiculously obvious the game was tested first and foremost on a controller, and is still a great concept with a reasonably solid execution.
The endgame is also put together surprisingly well! It’s actually decently atmospheric. The final boss itself probably should’ve been tuned a bit differently, but overall Between Worlds manages to do a fairly good job of a Metroid-like largely-silent story being told through the game environment and so on.
If you’re looking for something as polished as, say, AM2R, you’re probably going to be disappointed, but all things considered... Between Worlds is actually a pretty good game in its own right, and I’m genuinely interested in seeing what the creator makes next, be it another Metroid fangame or something original using their engine.
See you next mission.
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Homestuck Epilogues Prologue, Page 2 reaction
The next part of the epilogue prologue. :P
I wonder if Andrew has committed to this format for the entire piece, or if we'll shift to something else.
I'd like at least one panel showing the author avatar typing this, but then again, he's dead like everyone else, and so, stuck in the bubbles.
Speaking of, how could Aranea, Meenah and the other A2 trolls survive this?
Will Jane use her revive powers on them to spare them a double death?
As an aside, I'm glad the ==> arrows remain a thing even after the end of the story.
Even though they're now mixed with simple >'s in the in-line commands. (We're mixing the story format up from the get-go, here.)
I hope Rose's new apartment gets a detailed described. I'm expecting a lot of knitted ware lying around, for one.
I also wonder how long it'll be until an OC is mentioned, and how much longer after until they get some sort of dialogue.
Presumably it'll be the intermission-like dialogue, I mean us being shown what they say by John's or another's inner narration.
---
==>
"When you arrive at Rose’s apartment, you find her asleep on the couch. You slide the balcony door open, quietly."
If this was a fairy tale, John would kiss her awake. :P
But I fear the migraines might be exhausting her.
"Her eyes flutter open. She looks like a ghost, and not the kind of ghost that looks and acts exactly like an alive person."
Grim implications not withstanding, I'm reminded of Kanaya's first assessment of seeing her. "Skin as pale as a ghost!"
Wow, okay, so her condition is really nothing to sneeze at.
"All I’m trying to say is, I’m not backsliding, if that’s what you’re wondering."
So I guess the substance abuse, post-retcon, was still a thing, not just nipped in the bud by Vriska.
Well, it WAS a way for her to cope with her mom's death, that isn't something that just goes away by a slap on the wrist, even if it was on date night.
"ROSE: I struggled with substance abuse for a while, years ago. Remember?
JOHN: rose, jesus. i wasn’t going to accuse you of being a drug addict, and i didn’t fly over here to give you an intervention.
JOHN: it sounded like you had some important stuff to tell me, and the fact that you also seem to be sick is more than a little alarming!
ROSE: I wouldn’t say I’m sick.
ROSE: Just having spectacularly debilitating headaches as a result of my visions becoming more frequent.
JOHN: oh yeah.
JOHN: what are these visions you’re having?
ROSE: I’m a Seer of Light, John.
JOHN: i know."
I'm happy to see how mature John is being about all this. He's really grown into a proper adult.
Also, that they can still exchange sarcastic remarks shows the base of their friendship hasn't changed over the years.
"What are these visions you're having?", it's like John just became Rose's therapist. :P
"JOHN: so you mean like, your standard psychic visions about the future and stuff?
JOHN: what’s going to happen? should we be worried?
ROSE: It doesn’t technically pertain to the future. Well, not our future."
A potential future then? Or the future of the dead ghosts, their doubledeath?
I mean, I thought Rose's powers were meant to show the best possible future and how to get there.
That hopefully isn't implying that they're not... the main timeline anymore.
"ROSE: My abilities have broadened considerably beyond their previous horizon. They shed light on many unseen events. Past, present, future, in realities and frames of reference that have no intersection with ours at all."
And then Rose could see us, and all the fiction our universe has spawned. Including stuff about their clique! :P
"ROSE: It seems to be an unfortunate side effect of god tier abilities. They can advance at a rate beyond one’s physical ability to keep up with.
ROSE: Fortunately it doesn’t seem to be happening to anyone other than me."
So... what, could that mean Sollux & Mituna's psychic problems were explainable by a surplus of Doom powers, even though they weren't god tier?
... In other news, can they overload Lord English with Time?
"JOHN: yeah, can’t say i’ve noticed anything like that.
JOHN: or improvement in my powers for that matter."
He hasn't been practicing them either, I suppose. Then again, after you've drilled a hole to a planet core and moved an entire different planet to another dimension, as well as rewrote your own timeline, there's few plateaus left to grow towards.
"ROSE: It’s not about gaining additional power, so much as the gradual dissolving of the boundaries between your own awareness and that of your many doomed selves who perished in other timelines."
D'aaaahhhhh, that sounds a lot like what the sprites^2 experienced!
Actually, Davepeta mentioned something about this, didn't they? Something about become their best version through this process?
Didn't it have something to do with the Ultimate Riddle as well? Well, that would certainly quantify as something to know about "to learn what it all means".
But, I got to say, why would John be any less affected? He had doomed selves too, and this isn't just a Light thing, just because it has similarities to Rose's powers.
"ROSE: It’s a slow and apparently rather uncomfortable accretion of knowledge. Perhaps I’m the only one to notice any change, since my aspect explicitly relates to knowledge."
Mulling it over, I think the reasoning here is that, since there's so much knowledge to go around between the Roses of all timelines, she's getting more crammed inside her than anyone else.
So even if they don't just 'merge' into her, just increase the knowledge she can fall back on, and one point she'll reach a limit.
Sounds really painful and I don't want to imagine the migraines now.
Way to get screwed over by an otherwise very useful skill to have. That's Paradox Space for ya!
"ROSE: But in totality, I have pieced together a greater understanding of our present situation and all the events that led us here."
She has become self aware to an extent then. Useful, if they're going to have to fight English.
"ROSE: There’s a different scale I’ve come to understand. Another dichotomy that’s less... emotional, I guess?
ROSE: Consider, instead of the word “good,” using the word “essential.”
ROSE: And what exists at the opposite polarity from essential is...
ROSE: Something that is best not to contemplate."
Yeah, Paradox Space is much more impersonal than is 'good' for anyone.
The Horrorterrors are a good example, their game is a long and incomprehensible one.
And, if you don't fulfill your role in the timeline, you're basically fodder to use against LE. :/
It sounds to me, Paradox Space might be forcing them to join the cause or become doomed.
"ROSE: I really should cut it out, and just start from the beginning."
Once upon a time, in Paradox Space...
Blaperile has a theory she may know LE's backstory now, that would be a good story to tell here, but John already knows parts of it.
So maybe there's something new we'll learn.
"She points with purpose, as if to say, there. Right there, precisely, is where the green sun would be, if it still existed.
ROSE: The green sun is gone.
JOHN: what??"
Last time Rose pointed in a context with the Green Sun, she pointed away from it.
Oh yeah, they couldn't have known about Alternate Calliope changing the Green Sun into the Black Hole!!!
"ROSE: It has been destroyed. At least, from the current frame of reference it has.
ROSE: It still existed, and therefore in a way that’s hard to explain, currently exists, over a nearly infinite span of time, presiding over the birth and death of countless universes."
It's interesting how Universe C's timeline overlaps with the death of the Green Sun.
Does that mean Jade lost her First Guardian powers? (And GCATavrosprite too, I guess.)
Would she regain them, if she were to travel back to an earlier point in the timeline?
"ROSE: But this universe, our universe, is not one of them."
Oh, if Jade didn't have her FG powers, she would've noticed so, by now.
Unless the Green Sun's influence does something else. Well, for one, Earth C won't have its own First Guardian.
"JOHN: you saw this in a vision?
ROSE: No. Jade told me.
JOHN: she did?
JOHN: how does she know?
ROSE: She can’t draw from its power anymore. She no longer has the ability of a First Guardian.
ROSE: It has been this way for several years. I suspect she has kept this fact on the downlow, however."
... Oh, so she kept it secret for seven years. That's... huh.
Well, you know, they are friends, but even between friends secrets can exist.
She might not have wanted distress to grow, since the others wouldn't enjoy their Ultime Reward otherwise.
"JOHN: that’s...
JOHN: surprising, i guess?
JOHN: or maybe not. i dunno, it’s not like she tells me a whole lot these days."
Adults don't share as much as children... That's a sad fact for many.
"ROSE: It’s also not like she’s had any particular need to unleash the full fury of the green sun, not while she’s been gallivanting around with Dave and Karkat under whatever perplexing social arrangement they have settled on."
Heheh, confirmed for opacity! Just like how Dave & Karkat's initial "thing" never got assigned to a quadrant.
"JOHN: how did that happen?
ROSE: It doesn’t matter much, for our purposes."
Alternate Calliope confirmed for not appearing in this epilogue.
"ROSE: There was a cataclysmic event. A suicide strike by a very powerful being. Much like the one Dave and I attempted, once upon a time."
Remember that time, John? Can't believe Cascade could ever qualify for "simpler times", but here we are.
"ROSE: The entire sun was swallowed by a supermassive black hole.
ROSE: I digress though.
You press your eyes shut, just for a moment. Behind them you see a black hole so supermassive that it spans the width of eternity."
John is adding things up faster than usual!
I have to wonder whether his 'dream' was actually the memory of a doomed John, being swallowed by the black hole.
"ROSE: There’s really no route through this expository garden path that will adequately cushion you from the bottom line, John.
ROSE: You will need to travel back into canon and defeat Lord English."
'canon', pfffffff. I guess you could say, canon is everything inside the Green Sun's reach.
But oh boy, the implications of someone travelling back from beyond the end of the story!
I mean, I know we've been shown the path this'll probably take, ending with the kids inside the plot hole, and then Vriska using it on LE, after which... Something something.
But still, I can now imagine John travelling back to other places in canon.
Probably this time around, the panels in question won't be altered. I guess?
"> Shrug and try to look casual.
You pull off the most casual shrug that a guy has ever shrugged when being presented with the inevitability of his own fate. If Rose were looking at you right now, she would be totally convinced that you are approaching this topic with a level of nonchalance that is entirely plausible and genuine. You’re sure of it.
JOHN: yeah, i had a feeling that was going to come up again someday."
Classic John. Perfect response.
Can you imagine Frodo giving Gandalf the shrug like this?
... It's like Young K in MiB3. "M'Okay."
You know, if they were travelling back into canon, you could wonder how they ended up fighting Caliborn, since that was in a timeline outside the Green Sun's reach.
At least, I figure, since Universe C begetted the cherub session.
But then I thought of this: when Caliborn took over the narration, he made those things canon, and thus also the 'future scene' rendered with clay figurines where he defeats the kids!
"JOHN: when exactly is the point of no return?
ROSE: Today."
... Way to postpone this, Rose. I guess after today, the Black Hole swallows Universe C???
I can understand John trying his best not to think about having to fight LE, since semi-forced obliviousness is his forté, though.
"JOHN: why?
ROSE: Why what?
JOHN: why do i need to go back and beat him?
JOHN: i mean, sorry if this is a stupid question. i guess he’s a huge awful monster, and that’s just what you’re supposed to do with huge awful monsters. take them down for their crimes, and such.
JOHN: but why does he actually need to be defeated at all?"
Valid question, since LE made himself a staple of spacetime and all.
"to be honest, it’s been years since we’ve even bothered thinking about any of this, and everything seems...
> Take a look around and survey the current status of all life on Earth, which is totally possible to do from the vantage point of a single apartment balcony."
Ah, impossible command prompts, how I missed you.
Everything seems fine, until the black hole opens up in the sky and eats a frog that is your universe.
"JOHN: fine?
ROSE: Of course everything is fine here.
ROSE: We’re outside of canon now.
JOHN: yeah, i know. what does that actually MEAN though?
JOHN: are you saying this isn’t really happening?
ROSE: Of course it’s happening.
ROSE: Just because certain events take place outside of canon, it doesn’t mean those events are non-canon.
JOHN: oh."
I guess this is a way of saying: little is ever going to happen in Universe C that has effects in the parts of the multiverse that the Green Sun touches.
And vice versa.
Also, in a meta sense, for people not enamoured with Homestuck ending and writing their own endings, those efforts are not being discredited here.
"ROSE: In other words, there is an important distinction between events which can be considered to occur inside canon, outside canon, and those which are not canon at all.
ROSE: The day we went through that door and claimed our reward, we passed a threshold between continua marked by differing degrees of relevance, truth, and essentiality.
ROSE: Those are the three pillars of canon.
JOHN: what?"
Ah yes, a scientific exposition on the nature of fanfiction seems in good order right about now. :P
I'm taking a guess that the epilogues are "essential" to wrap up the huge dangling plotline about LE, but that doesn't mean they are THE truth about post-ending Homestuck.
Or even that the events in this story are really relevant to enjoy Homestuck proper.
"ROSE: Any event said to take place inside canon will have nonzero values of relevance and essentiality, while maintaining an absolute foundation in truth, by definition.
ROSE: Whereas events outside canon have diminished values of relevance and essentiality. Or, for the most part, can be considered neither relevant nor essential at all.
ROSE: But such events can’t be said to be untrue either. Instead, it’s better to regard their truth value as highly conditional.
ROSE: Are you still following?
> Say “oh, yeah. totally.”"
This is Andrew's version of the M3KYT mantra. "Just enjoy this story, folks!"
"JOHN: oh, yeah. totally.
ROSE: So to be clear, everything that’s taken place here on Earth C since we exited canon can be considered completely irrelevant, and for the most part, absolutely inessential. Yet none of it can be called untrue.
ROSE: At least, up until precisely today. "
So, yeah, they're going to become relevant to the story again, but that doesn't have to mean that Jane having usurped the Felt, as well as other events from the snaps and things we haven't even seen happen, are going to be given even a passing mention, hahah.
"ROSE: Events that are formally non-canon have no truth whatsoever, by definition.
ROSE: They may have relevance and essentiality values that are nonzero, or even quite high, but only as projections along an imaginary axis, resulting from highly subjective frames of reference.
ROSE: But due to those events having no truth, and thus carrying no real weight, the other properties are basically rendered meaningless."
Aka, fan fiction is not something to dismiss out of hand, but it isn't, like, a holy text.
"You can feel your eyes go wide as the gears in your head slow to a stop. The implications of what Rose is saying are as vast as they are completely incomprehensible. Your mind has just been BLOWN.
ROSE: John?
ROSE: Are you okay? Your pupils have gone quite wide, thereby facilitating the appearance that your mind has just been blown."
Ah John, he hasn't changed.
"JOHN: i just wouldn’t have thought to put all of this in such a jargony way.
ROSE: Sorry. That’s kind of what I do.
JOHN: it’s fine. i’m just a bit rusty is all.
JOHN: it feels like it’s been so long since i did, or even thought about... anything that mattered at all.
ROSE: Yes, the longer we live outside of canon, the more tenuous our relationship with canon becomes."
Aka, the fans are growing up and moving on, so additional stories in the same universe become less likely to be accepted as canon as time goes by. :D
"ROSE: As long as we live outside canon, everything that happens will technically be “real,” but only conditionally.
ROSE: There are certain crucial events inside canon which must happen in order to continue to prop up the legitimacy of events here on Earth C. "
Ooooooh, so Rose's saying they need to go back and fill up some plotholes, hahahahahahah. Glorious.
"ROSE: And you specifically, John, have a responsibility to make sure those events take place.
JOHN: and i take it that means going back and killing lord english?
ROSE: Yes.
ROSE: His defeat is the keystone to this entire continuity.
ROSE: Much like his life, in some sick way, governed the overall design of the bridge which that keystone was holding up.
ROSE: But without it, all of this falls apart. Every thing we’ve been through, in a way that’s impossible for a single mind to fully comprehend, becomes retroactively discredited."
They can't both have entered the Universe AND not have gone back to fight Caliborn at some point. Otherwise, their nature as being "the alpha selves" is cast into doubt.
Especially since John led them to Caliborn with retcon powers.
Of course there could be space retJohns flying about, but that's speculation, not (yet) truth.
"JOHN: so... reality will be destroyed, or something?
JOHN: hasn’t that already sort of happened?
JOHN: i mean, when all the black space started cracking?
ROSE: No, this consequence isn’t physical, or even a disruption of the timeline. It’s more of a conceptual unraveling.
ROSE: If you miss the chance to authenticate canon events, something will take place that’s a bit difficult to describe, but I’ve encountered a term for it.
ROSE: It’s called “dissipation.”
ROSE: Like, a notional fading. As if something, somewhere, is undergoing a process of “forgetting,” and we are what is being forgotten."
So I am definitely thinking this refers to the fandom, in subtext.
But does Rose refer to what happens in doomed timelines, to the folks that don't die but are erased with the timeline ending?
... "Dissipation Island" would suck as a reality tv concept.
"
ROSE: All ideas, people and their full potentialities, possible outcomes and their specific unfolding, all these things live inside conscious frameworks.
ROSE: The further removed we get from authentication of canon events, the less relevant they become, and they slowly fade from the conscious frameworks which kept them stable."
DEFINITELY a reference to the fandom.
"JOHN: so i just retcon-poof back to english and start like...
JOHN: brawling with the dude?
ROSE: Don’t be ridiculous. You wouldn’t last a second."
You're not the fisticuffs kind of guy, John, those genes went to Jade.
"ROSE: You’ll need a team.
ROSE: Also, you don’t want to just dive headlong into a battle with his hulking adult form. That would be tactically foolish, and furthermore, would skip over some very important steps needed to authenticate canon."
So yeah, Rose is definitely in the process of skimming important details, like she did during the session.
She definitely seems to have a grasp on the requirements for success, but people being in the know hardly ever seems to be one of them.
"JOHN: like what?
ROSE: I mentioned that English’s defeat was the keystone to the continuity. But this is an oversimplification.
JOHN: yikes. well, we sure as fuck wouldn’t want to simplify anything."
Insta-Classic.
"ROSE: The true keystone, which is a necessary component of his defeat, is the juju."
Cal then? Blaperile thinks the Plot Hole. Or is it the sucker perhaps?
Cal needs to be filled with Caliborn's essence for LE to even exist in the first place, so...
"ROSE: The house-shaped object you stuck your hand in to gain your retcon powers.
JOHN: oh yeah.
ROSE: While empty, it resembles a gap. Like a hole in canon, whose only purpose is to be filled."
Oh. I stand corrected.
"ROSE: In serving that purpose, it grants one with the radical canon-altering powers that would be needed to fill it.
ROSE: Once filled, it becomes solid. No longer a gap, but a serviceable, load-bearing wedge in our continuity.
ROSE: Like a keystone."
So, nice term, but a house-shaped keystone isn't that servicable. :P Neither is a mousepointer-shaped one, and the Sburb logo is both.
"ROSE: And once delivered to English and directed his way, it empties itself again, releasing its narrative-bridging payload."
Aww yeah, so they WILL be set free. Glad to have that out of the way.
"It functions as a weapon, and in some manner will bring about his demise.
JOHN: in some manner?
ROSE: It’s a complicated artifact. As old and unfathomable as anything else in Paradox Space, like the green sun, or English himself. Don’t worry about it for now.
ROSE: The important thing is that, in the due course of your travels, you end up loading and unloading this weapon."
So, will nothing be done with Scratch's gun anymore then, & the cueball analogy that might have been able to defeat Lord English?
Are all other items rumored to be able to kill him real red herrings... Or will John need to travel back to the places we last saw them & collect them?
"JOHN: how am i going to do that?
ROSE: Once you set things in motion, it should just happen naturally through the narrative momentum of your journey. I’m really just warning you about it, rather than instructing you.
JOHN: ok. thanks??
ROSE: You’re welcome."
He won't be thankful after the fact, that's for sure. :P
"Rose looks at her phone. You recognize Kanaya’s distinct typing style in the window. Rose’s thumbs begin to fly across the keypad. She continues to text as she talks."
I'm guessing Kanaya is at work at this time, at the Mother Grub's cavern.
"JOHN: so if we’re going to go back and kill him in time to “authenticate canon,” i guess we have to get going soon.
JOHN: like today?
ROSE: Yes.
JOHN: are you sure you’re actually up for a fight though? no offense, but you’re looking a little worse for the wear.
ROSE: I’m not going."
I don't think that's possible, since Rose should be there for the fight.
They can't very well replace with Jasprosesprite^2, that's for sure!
"JOHN: oh.
ROSE: None of us are. Only you.
JOHN: what?? but you said... "
Uuuuhhhmm, but where could John even pick up living versions of his friends!
... Also, it would be rather awkward for a 23-year-old John to meet up with 8-to-10-years younger versions of his friends alone, wouldn't it?
"ROSE: John, this is the victory state.
JOHN: what the hell does that even mean."
Pfff, she means this is the 'good ending'.
"ROSE: When we went through the door, and passed beyond the threshold of canon, we effectively retired from bearing any responsibility for influencing canon events. We’ve all been sort of decommissioned as active players on the cosmic stage, with severely diminished relevance attributes."
Hah, so none except for John with his retcon powers can be expected to hold relevance to canon?
... Blaperile has a good point that this doesn't hold true for Terezi then.
Neither does it for Aranea, Meenah and Vriska!
But still, Vriska immediately went after LE... Even if Terezi has aged as much as John, that is just... Is John going to find 23-year-old doomed versions of his human friends somewhere?
"JOHN: but... couldn’t you all just come along anyway?
ROSE: We could. But it wouldn’t serve any purpose.
ROSE: It wouldn’t plug up the remaining dark spots in canon."
Yes, but, the commentary. Rose, think of all the things Dave could be commenting on!! Don't deprive us of that!
"ROSE: You’ll need a group of active players. Those still stuck inside the stream of canonic karma."
Like OCs? I mean, or the people I mentioned earlier.
Though Blaperile has a point, maybe he'll revisit LOMAX and pick his friends up there. Still, age difference!
"ROSE: Nothing too extravagant. Just different versions of us.
ROSE: Younger versions, from a particularly dysfunctional impasse in our journey.
ROSE: I can point out the exact moment in canon you should be disrupting, and how you should disrupt it.
ROSE: In fact, I’ve already written it down to spare you the trouble of remembering."
... I don't think he'll go and 'save' the people from the Game Over timeline, but then again...
Hah, Blaperile points out how this must be like Terezi's scarf, all over again. :P Nice.
... Wait just a goddamned minute. If he goes back and changes the Game Over timeline, there's an errant Aranea Serket he'll surely encounter!
Wow.
That.
Hah, that's actually very fitting, since it's John's native timeline.
Roxy's too, though. So he might just have her tagging along! :D
Blaperile's right, Game Over went as it did because of the absence of John!
I think that, if he can return and re-relevant all those doomed selves, a lot of people would really, REALLY like that development!
"
JOHN: huh.
ROSE: Is anything confusing about my instructions?
JOHN: no, i remember all this. it shouldn’t be a problem.
JOHN: it’s just weird to think about revisiting this. it seems like an eternity. like... we were all completely different people back then.
ROSE: I assure you we are all still fundamentally the same bunch of losers."
Heheheheh, that you are.
"Rose is ultimately right about that, the way she is about most things. You continue to scan the letter, and grimace slightly.
JOHN: should i really punch her in the face?"
That would be just so sweet, for Rose to get that kind of comeuppance through John. After all, she might have Jasprosesprite^2's memories from when she still lived now, too.
And Aranea killed her.
That would be the second time John comes in retconning a timeline, punching a Serket.
"JOHN: i felt kinda bad about it, last time i did that to someone.
ROSE: Yes. You absolutely should, and must, punch her in the face."
Oh yes, so essential. I'm just casually going to ignore John punching a younger woman. For one, she was at least 1 sweep older than the A2 trolls, and a millenia-old ghost besides.
"You exhale and turn the paper over in your hands. The other side is blank. You flip it back over, having fully processed the instructions drafted in the polished purple handwriting. You like how Rose still writes in purple, after all these years. Some things never change."
Awww.
"JOHN: alright. this seems straightforward enough.
JOHN: i mean, aside from the part where we all have to fight an invincible monster.
ROSE: He isn’t entirely invincible. He will be vulnerable to Dave’s weapon. I believe other gambits should present themselves as well."
Return of the eggsword! Nice!
And okay, the other supposedly "ultimate" weapons to kill LE with will still play a part too, cool!
(Spades Slick has dips.)
"ROSE: I don’t think it would serve the mission well for me to tell you exactly how it will go.
ROSE: But at least I can offer this bit of encouragement.
ROSE: If you follow my instructions, English will be defeated.
ROSE: It is an absolutely essential outcome.
ROSE: And essential, if you’ll remember, is the word we should be using instead of good."
So... What, LE won't really make a heel face turn, but does that mean that... :/ The fate of the other kids might not be pretty, is what I'm getting from this.
Quick John, engage your Dad mode! Protect them!
"JOHN: i see you’re advising we go after him when he’s young...
JOHN: i guess that makes sense.
JOHN: go get him before he gets all big and strong.
JOHN: like, kind of a surprise attack?
ROSE: Sure."
Let's go with that, says Rose.
"JOHN: that dude sucks.
JOHN: he was taunting me a while back.
JOHN: like, i think he WANTS me to come fight him?
JOHN: anyway, i just ignored him obviously, because i’m not a stupid idiot.
JOHN: but i guess today will be his lucky day."
So, if we assume Caliborn spent the same amount of time waiting for John, he's already an adult, but a scrawny one.
"Her eyes are closed and her hands are folded in her lap. She’s not asleep, but she looks wasted—like all the life in her has been sucked out through a straw. Like she’s insubstantial."
"You can’t believe how sick she looks. How did this happen to her?"
I'm... getting some very worrying signals here.
"JOHN: i should probably get going and let you rest.
JOHN: we can talk all about it when i get back. i’ll fill you in on how it went, hopefully you’ll be feeling better by then.
ROSE: Oh. Um."
:/ I hope she isn't going to die on him now, this is supposed to be the victory state!
Blaperile thinks John might not come back, but that would be a dick move for Rose to pull on him. Even if he can force another victory state from all this!
"ROSE: Yeah.
JOHN: is something wrong?
Rose opens her eyes and looks at you, but she says nothing. Just looks.
JOHN: i’m not scared, if that’s what you’re worried about.
JOHN: you already said we’re going to defeat him. so, nothing to fret over, right?
ROSE: Yes. You...
Something flickers through her eyes, almost too quick to catch. When she smiles at you, it’s warm and sincere.
ROSE: You’re going to do great.
Rose slides her arms around you. After a while, she releases you from the embrace and gets up to fetch her bottle of pills. She pauses at the bedroom door to look at you one more time.
ROSE: Goodbye, John.
She closes the door behind her."
... That is REALLY not comforting.
Bathrooms & pills are NOT a good combination in any type of fiction.
"> Look at the letter.
Your run your thumbs along the edge of the paper. Is this really it? One hug from Rose and you’re off to face your destiny? The instructions in the letter are clear, but you aren’t sure precisely what to do next. Inertia and indecision keep your feet planted firmly on the carpet.
Then, as if directly answering your quandary, your phone buzzes in your pocket. It’s a text from Roxy."
So, I'm going to park how I feel about Rose's... condition, and what she might think to do with it.
And I'm going to go and be glad that Roxy texts John at this time, as I hope that she, at least, will join him on the journey.
"> Read text.
It sounds important. You get up to go without even thinking about it. You exit through the sliding glass door and leave it open behind you."
Eep, so the situation at her end is dangerous to? ... Don't tell me that it has only now just happened that Jane was kidnapped by the Felt, and Roxy & Calliope went out to get her.
---
So, this chapter definitely wasn't all shits 'n giggles, that's for sure.
I'm going to have to process this a little.
At least it was great to have Rose & John interact again.
#homestuck#homestuck epilogues#homestuck liveblog#john egbert#rose lalonde#lord english#upd8#reaction#spoiler alert
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AMBITION Season 1 ♫ “Black, The Color of Techies Scorned...” [ 1.07 ]
CREATED BY Esther (rapunzles) & Maggie (quincywillows)
YOU SAY YOU WANT A REVOLUTION – Fed up with their treatment, the techies fight back… by doing absolutely nothing. Attempts to mediate go sour when Farkle and Isadora can’t relinquish control. Riley makes an effort to break the strike, but it may be her who gets broken instead.
50 Minutes (10K words) || No warnings apply.
[ ← Stripped ] [ S1 Synopsis ] [ These Boots Aren’t Made For Dancing → ]
( Follow along with the music on Spotify here! )
INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY
With acoustic week concluded and the performers back in full intensity mode, the techies find themselves hard-pressed to keep up with their demands. Over a buzzy, intense acapella, the sophomore performers throw every task imaginable at them with limited patience and even more limited gratitude.
DAVE WILLIAMS is running back and forth backstage with NATE MARTINEZ and DYLAN ORLANDO, attempting to play runner and keep up with everyone’s needs. Dave makes a pointed effort to avoid going near the curtains. JADE BEAMON is in another heated discussion with MAYA HART, CHAI FRESCO, and DARBY WINTERS – that is to say, they’re heated and full of opinions and she’s just trying not to get overwhelmed and start crying.
ISADORA DE LA CRUZ is marching around the stage, trying to get ZAY BABINEAUX or CHARLIE GARDNER to pay attention to her and get the performers to cool it, but they’ve got their own projects to focus on and aren’t very receptive. JEFF MONROE is jogging along to keep up with her, nearly getting clocked in the face by her clipboard when she tosses her arms out in frustration.
FARKLE MINKUS doesn’t help matters.
Isadora: Does anyone around here have a damn shred of decorum?
Farkle: Wow, poor little director. Is this really too overwhelming? Doing the basic expectations of your job?
Isadora: Don’t patronize me, Minkus, you don’t want to see what this “little” director is capable of.
It’s not a very threatening statement in theory, but the way Isadora delivers it gets the point across. Farkle isn’t deterred, but he’s smart enough to back off for now while he’s still ahead.
While they’re running themselves thin, RILEY MATTHEWS watches from the sidelines. She discusses stepping in to help with NIGEL CHEY and YINDRA AMINO, considering they are the three performers with the most technical experience. Riley points out that Lucas was supposed to be back by now. It’s Tuesday, and he was supposed to be back on Monday, but for whatever reason he’s still nowhere to be found.
Yindra claims he’s probably just blowing it off, and WYATT LIVINGSTON, back from his own suspension and clearly not over the bad blood, asks why they should give a shit anyway. He can stay gone for all he cares. Riley holds her tongue as he stalks back into the shadows of backstage, before jogging out to join Isadora.
When she asks if she’s okay Isadora doesn’t even have the bandwidth for a response, and when she asks where exactly Lucas is she’s like “you tell me!” The whole sequence is chaos, and it serves to prove just how hard the techies work on a day-to-day basis and how quickly expectations can pile up on them. The tension doesn’t come to an end until SHAWN HUNTER and ANGELA MOORE call time and dismiss them for lunch, all of the air immediately coming out of the balloon. As the performers disperse, the techies are left dazed and exhausted center stage, sort of at a loss for what to do.
The moment they stop, the whole machine stops running…
INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY
Riley steps out with Charlie and Zay, the three of them commentating on how intense it’s gotten in there. Not just content wise, but between everyone. Kind of almost feels like there’s no room to breathe. Riley says it’s funny they say that as if it’s not always like that.
Zay: [ with a blithe shrug ] Welcome to Adams.
EXT. AAA - DAY
Suffice to say, we can tell there’s a big storm coming. The winds of change are imminent, and from the way a familiar pair of big black boots are stomping up the steps towards the school, it may very well be en route in the form of a very grumpy and very sarcastic hurricane.
INT. AAA - ATRIUM - DAY
The boots continue to make their trek through the halls, squeaking against the pristine floors of AAA and leaving dust in their wake. Over the visuals, the techies discuss how exhausted they are and how they don’t know how they’re going to keep up the rest of the year like this. There’s just no way. Especially not without their most aggressive teammate.
INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY
Thus, when LUCAS FRIAR walks through the house doors of the auditorium at the late lunch hour and finds his usual crew crashed in the back seats, he is immediately accosted by Dave who tackles him with a bear hug.
Dave: Thank God you’re back, we’re dying!
Lucas takes the hit, allowing Dave to hold onto him like a life preserver. His expression conveys how weird this display of affection is for him, and when he locks eyes with the rest of them over Dave’s shoulder the message is clear – what the fuck?
Baby, let the games begin.
Cue title sequence.
INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY
The techies have resettled on the stage, standing and sitting around in a semi-circle as they relay how hellish the last week and a half have been. They don’t think it’s just because he was gone either – the performers treatment towards them is just rotting more and more with time because they’re not learning any differently.
Lucas paces as ASHER GARCIA explains the last day and a half in particular, shaking his head at how bad things have gotten in his absence. Asher lays it out point blank – no one respects them, no one listens to them, and no one really cares about what they do. And that’s frustrating, because as Isadora points out, if they weren’t there the entire production would fall apart.
It’s that statement that seems to strike something in Lucas. He hesitates, thinking for a moment. Yes, things would fall apart if they were to stop showing up the way they always do… the wheels in his head are turning…
Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Thnks Fr Th Mmrs” as performed by Fall Out Boy || Performed by AAA Sophomore Techies
Asher syncs with his brain wave first, gleaning some of that inherent rebellious energy and launching into the opening verse of the classic angry rock anthem. Dylan joins in at the end of the phrase, leaning over Asher’s shoulder and bumping him playfully.
Lucas doesn’t sing – because, come on now – but he doesn’t discourage them either, raising an eyebrow and smirking as he continues to pace. Still clearly brewing with ideas. As the other techies start to get on board and get the vibe of what might be going on, the tension in the music builds. Oh, yes, Lucas is back, and the world is never going to be the same…
INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY
Thus, the techies burst through the stage doors and into the school, belting out the chorus with a true power that only comes from not giving a fuck anymore. They’re done, they’ve had it, and they’re not taking anymore bullshit. It’s a rare sight to see the techies doing any sort of group effort that remotely resembles performing, even in such a loose arrangement, but gee is it fun.
Lucas and Isadora lead the charge through the halls. The group of them are a tornado, leaving chaos and shock in their wake. The choreography is simple but energetic, exactly the kind of thing you’d expect from a march of protest thrown together in a bout of restless, rebellious energy. Dave knocks a binder out of Wyatt’s hands. You get the idea.
Reaction shots of the performers watching them as they parade through the halls makes it very clear how unprecedented this is. Isadora takes the solo on the slightly slower bridge, before we bring it on home with a flourish.
So it’s settled. The techies are officially revolting.
INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY
This, as expected, does not go over well from first glance. Lucas is back in Jack’s office once again, which the latter is clearly none too happy about.
Lucas, on the other hand, looks pretty pleased with himself. He looks a little too comfortable sitting in that chair opposite the principal’s desk, as if its his to own. He’s relaxed, slouched and outwardly agreeable and not the least bit worried.
Jack: It’s been an hour. You’ve been back for an hour, and yet you’re here across from me yet again. [ off Lucas’s shrug ] You realize you were supposed to come back… yesterday, right?
Lucas: Oh, yeah. But I was having such a good time having Dora nag me over missed homework and being ignored by my parents that I thought, you know, how about another day.
The sarcasm aside, Jack jumps to the subject at hand and questions what exactly Lucas thinks he’s doing getting all of his classmates riled up like this. Getting himself into trouble is one thing, but pulling everyone into such a scene?
Lucas: [ with a scoff ] As if the performers don’t make a scene out of everything every single day?
Jack tries to argue the point, but Lucas is on a roll. He states that this has been a long time coming, and they all know it. He’s no leader – he would never claim that – he’s simply the spark. It’s his friends’ anger running this engine, not him.
True as this may be, Jack is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Although he gets where Lucas is coming from, he can’t just openly condone a full on rebellion.
Lucas: So suspend me. You’ve done it once, you could do it again. But you know, I don’t think you will.
Jack: And why’s that?
Lucas: Because you and I both know that we’re in the right here. No one cares about the technical students working their asses off, and we’re sick of it. It’s just like academics, constantly taking the back seat. Only now, we’re saying not anymore.
Jack really is running out of arguments. And it’s clear from how impassioned Lucas is that he’s certainly not putting down the sword any time soon. The only thing worse than a rebel without a cause is a rebel with one.
Lucas: This is how all great rebellions begin, Principal Hunter, sir. I think you’ll want to be on the right side of triple A history. [ Rising to stand. ] It’s like they say, you know. “If we burn, you burn with us.” That’s classic literature, right?
Jack, deadpan: The Hunger Games.
Lucas: Same difference.
Lucas turns to go. Jack gives him a look, scoffing.
Jack: I didn’t dismiss you!
Lucas, already out the door: [ with an offhand wave ] We’ll see each other soon enough, I’m sure.
Jack sighs, rubbing his temples. He glances towards the door where Lucas left, wondering how much trouble this week is going to cause. But also wondering, a little bit, if maybe his most difficult student is on to something. As the orchestration of “Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down)” floats in…
INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY
Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down)” as performed by Hamilton Original Broadway Cast || Instrumental
Meanwhile, rehearsal without the techies is, of course, much harder than the performers ever realized. They’re attempting to practice the choreography for “Yorktown,” which Zay has been fighting for them to do for weeks and finally succeeded in getting into the syllabus. But there’s no good lighting, and they’re all just in their usual workout clothes because no one has presented costume ideas. They’re playing the music off of someone’s phone because they don’t know how to work the overhead speakers and no one has been in communication with the orchestra students.
Naturally, the performers are very frustrated with this state of affairs. After unsuccessfully running through the number and ending with Farkle running into Maya and nearly knocking half of them over, Zay snaps at them to get it right. Farkle claims he couldn’t hear the beat because their current sound system is garbage. Impatiently, all of them turn their attention to the audience.
The techies are sprawled out leisurely in the front and center section of seats, well within plain view but making no efforts to do… anything. Isadora is sketching storyboards for a short film. Lucas has his feet up on the back of the row in front of him, arms stretched behind his head.
Zay: Hey, techies, pardonne-moi. [ off their amused expressions ] Yeah, hi. Could you all get up here and maybe, I don’t know… do your jobs?
Lucas: I don’t know… I don’t really feel like it.
Maya: Who the hell let you back in here? Honestly.
This sparks a group-wide argument, both sides of the feud stepping up and launching into complaints about the other half. Choice words are thrown in either direction, but it’s also a little bit funny.
Dylan: You don’t even know our names!
Farkle: Sure I do. [ pointing to Asher ] Thing 1. [ pointing to Dylan ] Thing 2. [ pointing to Lucas, with vitriol ] Jackass –
The snaps continue until Shawn and Angela come to break them up, sending them to separate work spaces until the end of the day. The techies don’t seem miffed at all by this change of pace, but the performers are ticked. Riley watches all of them disperse, eyeing the new tension and bristling with the urge to make it right…
INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY
Which she states the minute she’s in ERIC MATTHEWS’ office after school. She tries to get the read on what’s going on from him while expressing her own perspective, all while trying not to be too openly clear on what may be motivating her. Sure, she wants the angst at school to cease for once, but she’s also still reeling with the news of her parents and desperately needs to fix something. To put something back in the order the way it’s supposed to be.
Eric states that according to Jack, this problem isn’t going to just go away. It’s going to take both sides coming to the table to make this nonsense come to an end, a proposition that feels downright impossible. Riley though is like, okay, workable. Off Eric’s surprised reaction, she hastily begins throwing out her reasoning. Speaking it into existence, as if that will guarantee it to be true.
Riley: Really, I think I can make it happen. At least getting everyone to the table. I’m good friends with Isa now, and Lucas and I…
[ She’s not sure how exactly to describe the two of them. She hesitates, searching for the words. ]
Riley: We dabble. In one another. Now and then.
Eric: [ confused and a little bit wary ] And that means…?
[ A beat. Riley realizes the odd ways her phrasing could be construed. ]
Riley: Never mind! Never mind, I don’t know what I’m saying. But the point is, I can fix it. Let me fix it.
Still seems like a long shot, but Eric isn’t going to turn down assistance. He grants her the best of luck, willing her to do whatever she thinks needs to be done. Riley exhales, brimming with confidence that only a new found purpose can bring.
INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY
Only this task is going to be much easier said than done. As Riley tries to go and have a neutral chat with the techies the next morning, she finds herself completely barred from their usual hangout in the back of the auditorium. They’re hidden away in the booth, and Dylan and Dave are blocking the stairs like the royal guard.
The two of them explain that there has been an embargo placed on all techie and performer relations. No communication allowed. Riley points out that that seems somewhat counterintuitive to negotiations, but Dave and Dylan are adamant.
Riley: But I’m your friend?
Dave: NO EXCEPTIONS!
Perhaps this operation will be a little more complicated than anticipated.
INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY
Farkle is back in his worst form, demonstrating his obsessive and diva-like tendencies in an argument with Angela. He laments how the techies clearly aren’t doing their one job, and it’s totally screwing up his world order. Can’t they do something about this? There has to be something. Like threat of expulsion. Or corporal punishment.
It’s evident that Farkle is certainly going to be the most difficult performer to convince that techies like… deserve rights. Angela claims that she understands his frustration, especially given current circumstances. But she is not the person he should be negotiating with, and has no power over what the technical students do or don’t do.
Farkle makes a snide comment about how she likely has some pull with Shawn considering how that has developed over the last few months, but he makes a quick escape before Angela can berate him on it. Despite the rude nature of the statement, he does have a point. Perhaps there is more Angela could be doing…
INT. AAA - CORY’S CLASSROOM - DAY
Riley visits Cory during lunch, as the cafeteria is way too tense to enjoy a meal in right now. As she pulls up a chair and settles in across from him at his desk, she can’t help but notice what he’s reading through as he eats. Divorce papers.
It’s chilling to see them in actuality, right in front of her. She probes the question of whether or not this is really happening, to which Cory is like “I’m afraid so.” He kind of talks to her about how sometimes things just don’t work out no matter how badly you want them to – also attempting to give a pep talk to himself – but Riles doesn’t get the intended message.
No, she’s in repair mode at the moment, so all she can glean from the conversation is that she needs to work even harder to make things run right. She needs to dig her heels in and fight until everything is back in order and back in control, and all of that is on her shoulders. Riles… take a nap, honey.
INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY
AAA Confessions is back for more, featuring a post about Lucas for the first time. It essentially gripes over how bullshit it is that Lucas can get away with so much and still continue to come back and do absolutely nothing, before going on a very unkind tangent about how pathetic he is. It’s clearly submitted by Wyatt who has his axe to grind, but it’s harsher than anything the AAAC has ever posted before so it’s not aiding the tension at all.
The techies are examining the post over lunch in the auditorium, nervous about how Lucas is going to react to it. But when he descends from the booth and they show it to him, he doesn’t even blink. Outwardly, he’s cool as a cucumber. He claims he doesn’t care.
Dylan: Are you sure, man? I mean, this is like… brutal.
Lucas: Believe me, when I care about something, you’ll know.
Not sure what the hell that is supposed to mean, but Dave pushes past it anyway. He comments that their revolt is clearly going well, because the performers are miffed. The others agree, but Lucas doesn’t seem satisfied. He argues that they’re going to need to kick it up a notch if they actually want this movement to get any traction.
Isadora, smart as she is, suggests that they give the performers a taste of their own medicine. When Lucas prompts her to elaborate, she simply states that part of the reason it’s so easy for them to ignore their hard work is because they’ve never had a pinch of what it’s like to be on the other side of the apathy. Now this, this sounds interesting…
INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY
And thus, the techies do exactly that. At the next rehearsal for “Yorktown,” the performers struggle to work their way through another fumbling rendition. In the midst of the number, while they’re all crashed in the seats, Lucas and Isadora exchange a nod before getting up and gesturing for the others to do so as well. It’s a technician walk-out.
Farkle is the first to notice, immediately being torn from the rehearsal and focusing on them instead. He marches to the front of the stage, demanding where the hell they think they’re going.
The techies stop in the middle of the aisle, turning around and feigning surprise.
Lucas: Who, us?
Maya: Yes, you. What the hell are you doing?
Isadora: Oh, well, we were just leaving. Actually.
Charlie: [ stunned ] Leaving? You can’t do that. They can’t do that, right?
Lucas: Oh, it’s so funny, because I think we are. I mean, my legs are working, at least.
Isadora: Yeah, you all clearly don’t need us. So I think we have better things we could be doing with our time.
They continue to head towards the exit. Angela watches them go, getting the sense that this problem is only going to get worse. Farkle snaps, obviously stressed at this turn of events.
Farkle: You can’t ditch us! Who is going to put all this shit together?
Isadora: Think you can handle it. It is just one job, after all.
Zay: But we don’t know how –
Dave: Sucks for you, huh?
The techies laugh, parading out of the auditorium with Lucas leading the march. The performers are clearly pissed. Riley watches them exit, shell-shocked and already grappling with how she’s going to fix this new development.
INT. AAA - SHAWN’S OFFICE - DAY
Angela enters Shawn’s office in a flurry, immediately launching into an impassioned explanation as to how this current state of affairs is not good for any of them and they must work together to find a solution on how to fix it. Shawn, to her relief, is completely on board, gesturing for her to take the chair across from him. She sighs, relaxing and settling in. This may be easier than she thought.
Only not quite so. Because while Angela was expecting him to just go along with her and get things to go back to the way they were, Shawn believed that Angela came to brainstorm how to improve the situation and meet in the middle. Shawn is on the side of his students, here, and isn’t just going throw them back under the bus.
The discussion quickly spirals into an argument, both of them clearly operating on behalf of their own students. It brews up some old resentment between the two of them that remains untreated based on how they view one another’s students – and in theory, one another – making them question if rekindling their relationship is actually the best idea. What are they even doing? Are they destined to fall right back into the same traps all over again?
The conversation deflates from the anger, but ends on uncertain terms. And no progress is made in the negotiations for either side. The two of them agree that in this instance, they might need a neutral outside party to step in and help mediate.
INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY
So Shawn and Angela go straight to Eric. They lay out the situation, which of course he already knows, and ask for him to step in and do some peer counseling. Eric heartily agrees, but considering the scale of this issue, it’s going to take more than just the sit-down-and-chat approach. No, they’re going to need to get creative to solve this problem.
Luckily, he has just the technique.
EXT. AAA - REAR PARKING LOT - DAY
Eric hands a loaded water balloon to Zay, who stares down at it and then gives him a look.
Zay: Paintball?
Eric: Not paintball. Paint balloon.
As we ease out, the scale of the event becomes clear – all of the students have changed into plain clothes, and are wearing pseudo tactical vests as if they’re playing paintball. Only they’re using balloons filled with paint instead of guns, because this is America and even the thought of gun paraphernalia on school property… bad. But balloons! Very fun.
The students are standing on opposite sides of the stretch of parking lot, old set pieces and cardboard having been set up as obstacles and coverage. To start, they’ve been mixed into groups at random rather than along techie / performer lines. As Eric explains it, the goal is for them to engage in a competitive activity that will encourage them to work together towards a common goal with people they don’t normally work with, and get out their aggression in a safe and controlled fashion.
The rules are simple – the team to survive with the least paint-covered member once everyone else has been hit is the victor.
Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Come Out and Play (Keep ‘Em Separated)” as performed by The Offspring || Performed by Zay Babineaux & Charlie Gardner
Zay and Charlie perform this grungy track while working together to survive the war, serving to underscore the duration of the sequence. They fist bump to kick off the song, before the paint balloon battle begins.
Although the intent behind the mission is good, the concept doesn’t execute well if the players aren’t fully on board. Despite being given distinct teams, the war quickly falls back into party lines, the performers ganging up on the techies while the techies fight to hold their own. They’re heavily outnumbered, but they’re angry and ready to fight back. Let the real games begin!
Students on both sides get lobbed with paint, making for some fun and colorful slow-motion shots. Maya tries to protect her hair as she avoids blows, but one splatters her right across the face anyway. Farkle gets cornered by techies and gets hit with a barrage of paint, totally smothering him in neon pinks, yellows, and blues. Poor, poor little rich boy.
Zay and Charlie actually work impressively well together as a tactical team. They move back-to-back, cover one another, and make calls just through nods or vague gestures. They’re the key offensive force on the performer side, basically getting a hit in on every single techie throughout and making their win seem inevitable.
Considering the numbers game, the techies are getting throttled. Isadora, already covered in paint but not out of the war, takes out her rage by throwing paint at as many passing performers as she can possibly manage with a war cry that would make Athena herself proud.
The one factor they have going for them is Lucas. Dave and Asher basically act as human shields for him, allowing him to navigate the field and get hits in on anyone who Isadora didn’t already pummel with paint. There’s some wonderfully dramatic slow-motion shots of Dylan leaping into the air in front of Lucas to take a paint balloon straight to the chest… oh, the war-torn drama…
So while the performers have the sheer numbers, it’s clear that the technicians have a greater understanding of how they operate as a team. So they may just take this victory in an upset yet.
The factor keeping the performers going is Riley. She’s not particularly good at the paint throwing, but she’s an expert at dodging and just trying to stay out of trouble, mostly because she’s scared of getting hit. So it essentially whittles down to her and Lucas being the only two left dry and paint-free, meaning any one hit could toss the victory in one team’s favor.
As the battle reaches its climax, it comes down to one moment between Riley and Lucas. They run into one another at the center of the lot, the paint carnage all around them in a wonderful, grisly display of color. Lucas is loaded with two balloons, and Riley has none to defend herself with. They lock eyes, Riley’s wide and uncertain.
For all intents and purposes, this seems like the endgame. In a normal situation, in the old way of the world, Lucas wouldn’t hesitate. But it’s Riley, and she’s been changing the world since she showed up at AAA. So, for whatever reason, he does.
All it takes is that fleeting second of hesitation to flip the stakes. The tension between Riley and Lucas is shattered as he gets hit on both sides, one balloon landing on his torso and the other getting him in the face and splattering blue paint all over him. A final kill maneuver, executed expertly by Zay and Charlie from both sides.
And so the techies lose the battle. The performers erupt into cheers, patting one another on the back and touting their victory. The techies, frustrated and upset, glower. Dylan pulls Asher to his side, trying to get the paint out of his hair. Zay yanks Charlie into a victory hug, and Charlie just about has an aneurysm.
Lucas blinks, reaching up to wipe the paint from his eyes. Riley is mortified, starting to stammer out breathless apologies in utter horror. She reaches forward in an effort to wipe paint from his face… only Maya pulls her back and into celebrating with the other performers.
In an unexpected outburst, Jade is the first to snap on behalf of the techies. Considering her usually mousy and shy demeanor, this is relatively shocking.
Jade: This isn’t fair! We weren’t even supposed to be playing along these teams, but they just did whatever they wanted like they always do and won yet again.
Dave: This is bullshit!
Maya: Oh, come on, guys. You don’t have to be a sore loser.
Isadora: Oh, you wanna be sore? I’ll give you sore –
Dylan and Asher dart forward to hold Isadora back and keep this from escalating into a full-on brawl. Angela and Shawn sense the impending eruption and basically send each team somewhere different to clean up, the techies staying outside while the performers retreat to the dressing rooms.
They turn to Eric, who is clearly bummed his technique didn’t work. But hey, he tried his best. He offers them a plaintive shrug. Back to square one…
INT. AAA - GIRLS DRESSING ROOM - DAY
The girls revel in their victory as they clean paint off of themselves, laughing about how badly they creamed the techies and how nice it felt to finally just let loose on them. Riley doesn’t find the conversation amusing, and actually speaks up against the rhetoric. She claims that they just made everything worse, so congratulations. She hopes they’re really pleased with themselves.
But now, she has to clean up their mess. She storms out, still covered in paint. The others watch her go, sort of laughing awkwardly at the tirade but with the lingering sense of doubt that maybe she isn’t wrong.
INT. AAA - BACK ENTRANCE - DAY
Riley heads towards the back parking lot to find Lucas and Isadora, hoping for another chance to talk things through with them without all the colorful warfare. She spots the techies just outside the building cleaning up, starting to head towards the doors to join them but hesitating when she gets a better look.
Dylan is using the heavy duty hose to clean off Dave and Asher, but Riley is focused on Lucas and Isadora. They’re seated on the benches closer to the doors, and Isadora is painstakingly working to wipe the paint off of Lucas’s face.
It could be nothing, just pals being pals, but after everything Riley has observed between the two of them and how Isadora is willingly touching his face to help him clean up she’s like… okay. I’m clearly inserting myself in something I shouldn’t be. I don’t belong out there. What am I even doing? It’s nothing, all this is nothing…
But it doesn’t feel like nothing. And emotions are high because tensions are high, so the revelation sort of feels like the end of the world.
Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Cry And You Cry Alone” as performed by Lesley Gore || Performed by Riley Matthews
As Riley saunters away from them and back down the hall, she dejectedly sings the 50s crooner while trying to keep her emotions in check and not overreact. But she’s a theater kid, and being melodramatic is in her bones.
INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY
She makes her way through the halls, lamenting how foolish she was to let herself get close to the techies, especially Lucas, when he’s evidently so much trouble – for everyone else and for her heart. The whole thing is even more endearing and ridiculous considering she’s still paint-splattered.
INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY
As the song progresses and the other sophomore performers take over the chorus, it’s a brand new day. Everyone is clean but not in much better spirits. Riley sits on the edge of the stage and watches forlornly as Isadora and Lucas work together to scheme with the techies. So close, and yet so far away.
Rounding out the final chorus, Riley falls back onto the stage and stares up at the catwalk and lights above her, inviting the world to laugh with her rather than cry alone as the song states. Oh, Riles, you wonderful little dramatic hooligan.
Although Shawn has managed to wrangle the tech students back into the theater for class, it’s not much of a better scenario than before. Now they’ve taken to heckling, making the divide between them far more pronounced than before. Given how cynical and grumpy they are on the daily, they make excellent hecklers.
Lucas: Boo, get off the stage!
Riley: [ whipping around, giving him a glare ]
Lucas: (:
Isadora makes a snide comment and Farkle is about ready to pop off, launching into a fit and starting to rattle off some not-so-nice things. Maya pulls him away and gets him to back off, redirecting his focus and trying to keep the whole situation from imploding. It’s a vivid indication of how Farkle reacts when he feels like he’s being unfairly persecuted and put under pressure… noted. Maya declares they’re taking five.
INT. AAA - BOYS DRESSING ROOM - DAY
All the performers are assembled in the space, sans Nigel, Yindra, and Riley. While they embark on a potential quest of their own, the rest of them vent freely about how unfair this whole situation is and how overdramatic the techies are being. And they think they’re melodramatic, well, they’re certainly proving their own ability to be so.
Zay is done with the theatrics, weirdly irritated at the whole group of them. He snaps at all of them, stating everyone is being dramatic and it’s so stupid, because all they’re doing is wasting rehearsal time. And of course, it’s the one week where they’re doing a number he actually cares about. He storms out, leaving the room a little bit stunned.
Maya rouses them from the off beat, claiming that this is all part of the journey and they’re going to have to stick together if this drama is going to endure. They’re on the same team, and for once they need to band together and really act like it.
Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Team” as performed by Lorde || Performed by Maya Hart (feat. AAA Sophomore Performers)
Maya leads the group in a groovy and sharp rendition of the Lorde hit, making for a fun and low-intensity break from the tension of the episode as they dance around in the dressing room together. So, there!
INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY
Dylan and Dave are still gatekeeping as Nigel and Yindra approach – the two performers outside of Riley who dabble in technical arts and thus have a good showing and rapport with them. They claim they have a “meeting,” to which the bodyguards exchange subtle eyebrow raises before backing up to let them through.
Nigel and Yindra exchange a look. Boy, the theatrics. Then, they make their way up the stairs towards the technician’s booth.
INT. AAA - TECHNICIAN’S BOOTH - DAY
Lucas and Isadora have set up camp in the booth, using it as their base of operations. Isadora is pacing, Lucas seated in his usual rolling chair by the soundboard. Asher is operating as their secretary, taking notes as they throw out ideas. The others are seated further back into the space.
They cease their discussion as Yindra and Nigel enter, Lucas turning to greet them. They explain that, as medians between the two worlds, they have come to hear what exactly it would take for the techies to come to the table and start figuring out negotiations on how to fix this. It’s chaos, and it’s not doing good for any of them. Lucas starts off playing hard to get.
Lucas: Who said we were interested in ceasefire? I’m kind of enjoying a little bit of chaos. Spices things up. Don’t you think so?
Yindra: You are enjoying this way too much.
Nigel: Yeah, don’t let anybody ever tell you you’re not capable of being theatrical, Friar.
Lucas: (:
Isadora gets the conversation back on track, agreeing to meet with the performers and have a non-confrontational open dialogue – but only if they can get the most important (and demanding) performers to be present. Nigel and Yindra state this is a hefty challenge, but they’ll see what they can do. If it works out, Isadora states, they’ll send details on where and when.
INT. AAA - CAFETERIA - DAY
Yindra and Nigel share this new development with said most demanding performers at lunch. Charlie is all for it, but the actual two in questions – Maya and Farkle – aren’t sold. In fact, Farkle vehemently vetoes the idea. He claims they’re just toying around with them like business deals he’s seen his father have to negotiate, and he’s not taking orders from them.
Maya isn’t convinced either, but she’s also aware of how tired everyone is getting of the tension, herself included. She barters with Farkle that the two of them should just go to at least have the conversation, and they have the right to back out at any time. Farkle considers, but doesn’t give a definitive answer.
Nigel: Remind me when it was that I dropped out of high school and entered a courtroom drama? Because I don’t recall making that decision.
INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY
Riley has forfeited her lunch hour to take one last crack at getting her own negotiation in, finally able to catch Lucas alone. She follows him through the stage doors and onto the stage, pleading her own case and attempting to appeal to his softer side in an effort to call off the strike. She knows it exists, she’s seen it before, she just has to figure out how to elicit it from underneath all that anger.
He humors her as he makes his way down the stage and towards the back of the auditorium, tidying up small details as he goes. It’s clear that even with the current strike in progress, he’s is still instinctively protective of the place.
Riley opens by checking in with how he’s doing after the nasty confessions post about him. When he shrugs it off, she takes the topic opportunity to broach a slightly different subject.
Riley: Just out of curiosity… how, um… how often do you check the page?
Lucas: Never.
Riley: Oh! Oh, that’s great. You know, good for you. That’s good. I just, um, you know it’s said some… interesting things about me lately.
Lucas: Right.
Riley: And I just wanted to clarify that they aren’t, you know, true. The things said. About me. And what I may or may not be doing. Or who I may be – it’s false. It’s not true. All of it. False.
Lucas: … okay.
That awkward exchange aside, Riley plows onward in her mission to end the revolt. She tries to get Lucas to call it off, pointing out he is the one who definitely has the power to make it happen.
Riley: You’re their leader.
Lucas: You’re wrong. That’s Dora.
Riley, diplomatically: I am not one to ever dispute the notion that Isa is amazing, in many aspects. And she may be the face of the operation, but you, you’re the engine. You’re what motivates them.
Lucas hesitates, actually listening to what she has to say. Riley seizes this opportunity, trying to convey as genuinely and passionately as possible just exactly how important he is.
Riley: They look up to you, I mean, you’re the one they march for. They take comfort in you, you inspire them. And that’s certainly not nothing.
Lucas is moved by the speech, despite how good he is at concealing it. And although he acted as though he didn’t care, it does help to combat some of the negative feelings the confessions post instilled in him. Not to mention, Riley is so sincere, and gosh if she isn’t so damn cute… for a moment, it seems like he may be weakening…
But no. He’s not calling off the rebellion.
Lucas: I appreciate the sentiments. But I’m not ending the revolt.
Riley: But –
Lucas: This is our one chance to change things. For us and for all the techies that are going to come through these halls after us. I can’t just give that up. No great moment in history ever happened because the fighting party put up their hands and surrendered.
He steps up to walk past her towards the booth, hesitating on the step below her. Mirroring their stand-off in 1.02, only far softer this time around.
Lucas: I’m sorry, Riley. But I’m not throwing away our shot.
He leaves her there to stew in it, frustrated that she can’t seem fix yet another broken entity in her life. She waits until he’s gone behind the booth, huffing and jogging back down the stairs.
Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Another One Bites the Dust” as performed by Queen || Instrumental
EXT. AAA - BACK PARKING LOT - NIGHT
The same scene of the battle, the asphalt still splattered with paint residue and eerie in the glow of the street lamps. Maya and Farkle are there, dressed in their best “shady showdown” attire and anxiously peering out into the night. Riley and Charlie are also present. Farkle snaps that they’re late, to which Riley assures him that they’ll be there. She knows they’re not just going to blow this off.
And they do not. A few moments later Lucas and Isadora roll up with Dylan and Asher in tow, hopping out of Dylan’s jeep and making their way towards them. They are also dressed in their black leather best, but the whole situation is like… a little bit ridiculous. Like, it should be really intense and shady, but it’s just them all standing around in the empty school parking lot at 9PM.
Lucas and Isadora step to Farkle and Maya, sizing each other up and trying to figure out how this conversation is supposed to go down. Dylan and Asher mirror Charlie and Riley, hanging back as reinforcements only if needed.
Lucas: What, no Zay?
Charlie: I texted him. He just said… [ reading from his phone ] ‘white nonsense.’
Isadora: Tell him I said offended… but true.
The four of them discuss the problem and their terms, the techies explaining their desire for like… basic decency and a little respect, while the performers have arguments of their own to make. It’s clear from about the first minute in that this meeting of the minds likely isn’t going to go anywhere productive. They’re just too polarized.
While everyone expects Lucas to be the one to blow everything up, it’s actually Isadora who loses her cool and derails the negotiations. She provokes Farkle with snide remarks until he lashes back at her, totally disrupting the limited productivity of the meeting and threatening a full-on scrap if things go any further.
It’s a stalemate, and no negotiations will be made today. The revolution wages on. Riley decides she definitely needs to chat with Isadora, maybe even more so than Lucas.
INT. MINKUS HOME - DAY
Farkle is up late doing homework, still awake when STUART MINKUS comes home after a long day of work. From the way Farkle perks up when he enters and enthusiastically greets him, it’s clear how much he cares about the attention and approval of his father. In fact, there’s the distinct sense that part of the reason Farkle is so extra at all is because he’s desperate to get the focus of his very busy and very distracted corporate leader of a dad.
Stuart is happy to see him and settles down to chat with him for a moment, but he asks why on Earth he’s still awake. Farkle offhandedly claims that an unexpected meeting pushed back his homework time, and it was somewhat of a waste anyway. After a few brief words, Stuart starts to go but Farkle grasps at a way to keep his attention, asking him for advice.
His dad claims he won’t be much help with the performing stuff, but Farkle lies and claims it’s a… business issue. He then lays out the situation going on at school but in theoretical marketing terms, explaining it like a business negotiation gone awry rather than two sides of the performing arts world going to war. He asks his father how he would handle the situation.
When Stuart expresses that he would take the diplomatic approach and attempt to go to the table to get the best deal for all parties involved, Farkle seems apprehensive. Doesn’t that not end up with the best deal for him? Stuart goes on to explain his business philosophy about how you have placate all parties to get an effective machine running, but it just seems difficult for Farkle to grasp.
Stuart kisses the top of his head in a goodnight gesture, telling him he’s proud of him even though Farkle is sure he couldn’t say what for.
Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Control” as performed by Halsey || Performed by Farkle Minkus
Not satisfied with how that conversation turned out and not sure why he can’t seem to let go of his perception of the situation anyway, Farkle launches into a haunting and emotional rendition of “Control.” It’s one of the first clear expressions of his… questionable mental health, and displays part of what he’s constantly inadvertently taking out on the techies.
Interesting…
INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY
Jack has called in Shawn and Angela to discuss how the techie and performer feud is progressing. It’s the end of the week, and he’d like to know what they think is the next necessary step. They claim that both of them are on board to make changes, but they’re worried about the mental ecosystem of some of their… touchier students. That’s what is causing the blockade, and they’re not sure how to navigate it.
As Jack reiterates, they need all parties to be willing to come together for this treatment to be at all effective. He states that they better do it fast, and whenever they’re ready he’ll be here and ready to mediate.
INT. AAA - BOYS DRESSING ROOM - DAY
The drama continues, the male performers discussing how this whole drama has really lasted an entire week. NICK YOGI wonders if it’s ever going to stop, and Wyatt makes more bitchy commentary about how if they had just expelled Lucas like they should have ages ago, this never would’ve happened.
Zay continues to roll his eyes, fed up with all of the pettiness. He wishes they could just focus back on rehearsal. He excuses himself pointedly, Farkle hesitating before deciding to investigate and following him out.
INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY
Farkle traces Zay’s footsteps to the behind the curtain area of the back of the stage. Zay is practicing the routine by himself, clearly passionate about it even though it got totally derailed by the week’s events.
Understanding at least the notion of using rehearsal as an emotional escape, Farkle approaches Zay and tries to get him to talk about what his attitude is all about. He questions why he blew up at the rest of the performers the other day, to which Zay is like, you? Asking me about diva meltdowns? Please. Farkle admits his own proclivity for theatrics, but points out that Zay isn’t like that. In fact, he is usually looking at down at them from a high horse because of it.
Zay avoids the topic at first, before breaking somewhat and admitting that part of the reason he gets so irritated with Farkle and Maya’s behavior is because he feels like he can’t use the same sort of tactics. He’s trying to navigate these waters as best he can being a queer man of color, he’s got enough things that draw attention to him and make him different. He doesn’t need to put any more targets on his back by being demanding or overdramatic. The two of them, they can get away with that. He can’t when he’s just fighting for a shred of hard-earned respect in the first place. So even if he wants to throw a tantrum about how they’re finally doing a number he really cares about and no one is paying attention, he can’t. Not really.
Farkle had never considered this angle before. It gives him a totally new perspective on Zay, and in some ways, the techie revolution as well.
INT. SVORSKI’S COFFEE - DAY
Riley and Isadora are seated in the window table at the local coffee shop, having found neutral ground to tread to be able to talk freely with one another. Riley is grateful that Isadora showed up at all, but it takes a bit of needling to get her conversing.
When Riley questions why Isadora got so heated at negotiations last night, Isadora is defensive at first. Who wouldn’t be, she claims. But when it’s clear that Riley’s intentions in the conversation are completely genuine, Isadora lets down her guard and opens up a bit.
She explains that she’s been fed up with the behavior of the performers for so long, and they’re always like this. Performers, that is. Look at her mother. The diva behavior, the carelessness, the neglect – all of them are like that.
Riley, softly: All of them?
Isadora: [ gazing at her, sheepish ] Maybe that’s a bit of a generalization…
Riley prods further, and Isadora gets to talking about her behavior the last couple of episodes. She admits that part of the reason she’s so sensitive to everything right now is because she’s still adjusting to having Lucas back at school. Last week was way harder than she let anyone know, and she’s still trying to get her world back in working order. The performer attitudes and demands didn’t help with that, certainly.
Considering her own world being in disarray, Riley can empathize. Isadora is word vomiting at this point, stumbling into a hasty explanation of why Lucas is so important to her.
Isadora: He’s not just my friend, he’s like… he’s my rock. Joining Adams last year was crazy and overwhelming, and he was there to help. To ground me. He makes sure I stay out of my head, that I don’t get too wrapped up in my thoughts. When he’s not here… I don’t even know how to explain it. He’s the most important person in my life, he’s pretty much my brother. I don’t think I’d survive at school if he left permanently.
It’s a lovely statement, and definitely illuminates many things about the relationship that Lucas and Isadora share. Their importance, but also, the nature of their relationship. Yes, Riley definitely catches the “he’s pretty much my brother” bit. Ah, if that doesn’t clear things up…
Isadora goes on to state that if anything, she’s ready for this embargo to end so that she can hang out with Riley at school again without having to go into hiding. Riley, touched, returns the sentiment with full fondness.
INT. AAA - SHAWN’S OFFICE - DAY
And perhaps, maybe that end is within sight. Isadora goes to Shawn and claims that she’s willing to come to the table if the other side is. That’s one difficult domino down…
Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down)” as performed by Hamilton Original Broadway Cast || Performed by AAA Sophomores
INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM
Isadora takes this initiative and walks it straight into “Yorktown,” launching one of the most elaborate concept numbers in the series to date. While half of the performance is the performers doing their routine (in plain leotards, no lighting, etc.), the other half is the techies “prepping for the final battle” in a sense. Isadora, thusly, takes most of the Hamilton bits.
[ Lyrics specific to characters – follow along here! ]
The number opens with Yindra coming to meet with Isadora and Lucas, operating as the Lafayette of the trio. She and Isadora declare the phrase “techies, we get the job done,” before she salutes them as the final battle unfolds. As the chorus begins, the performers take the stage and kick off their routine.
Farkle takes one section of the verse, harping on the sentiments of imagining death so much it feels more like a memory and at least having friends now if he’s going down in war. Then Isadora takes back over, instructing the other techies as to how they should move in this dance going forward (“Rochambeau! You’ve got your orders now go man, go!”)
When we get to the Hercules Mulligan bit, our “spy on the inside” is Nigel! He takes the verse and rails it impressively. When he “gets knocked down and gets the fuck back up again,” Dylan and Dave jokingly knock him over before he break-dance jumps back upright. Iconic!
As the dance break ensues, each techie is choreographed into facing off with a major performer, their interaction sort of emulating what the nature of their dynamic is like. While Dylan and Asher each take either Maya or Zay, Jade takes Charlie which mostly means her dodging him while he does expertly choreographed high kicks.
Considering they’re not even exactly at odds, Lucas and Riley’s choreography mostly consists of them sort of dancing around each other – especially given that he doesn’t dance. No, the big maneuver for them comes at the end of the sequence, when Lucas finishes the “fight” by scooping her up and tossing her over his shoulder. She’s totally taken by surprise, and if she wasn’t sure whether or not he had feelings for Isadora, well, now…
Speaking of Isadora, she and Farkle are perhaps the most aggressive of dance duets. They’re the ones with true beef to parse out, and that’s clear in the way they execute the choreography. As the sequence ends and everyone else is shuffled (or carried) off, the stage is left with just the two of them staring one another down. Sizing each other up, trying to determine if one or both of them are going to break this stalemate.
Farkle backs off first, not breaking eye contact but sauntering away towards the wings. Isadora watches him go, holding her ground as best she can.
INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY
Farkle enters the classroom, locking eyes with Angela and clearly there on business. She rises from her desk, nodding him in. He steps inside, closing the door behind him.
INT. AAA - ATRIUM - DAY
While the techies await, “wondering if this really means freedom,” their queries are answered as Shawn and Angela emerge from Jack’s office. The entire sophomore class is waiting outside, eager to see how the negotiations have panned out. As they “see George Washington smile,” Shawn gives Isadora and the techies a subtle wink.
The techies watch as the performers begin to stagger away, the war truly having reached its conclusion. It almost feels unreal…
INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY
As the marching drum comes in and “the world turned upside down,” each of the main performers steps forward onto the stage to finish the routine. Slowly, as the music rises again and we near the climax of the song, pieces of the tech start to come back into play – the lights come back up, Jeff happily operating them from the booth. Dave and Nate push set pieces into place, high-fiving one another as they pass behind the dancers.
From different corners of the stage, the techies revel in their victory. Jade, Isadora, Dylan & Asher, Lucas – all declaring with ecstatic joy that they won.
The world did, indeed, turn upside down!
INT. AAA - SHAWN’S OFFICE - DAY
With their sides of the school back in order and a whole new world order at play to explore, Shawn and Angela reconvene. They decide that yes, in spite of all the differences and challenges that are bound to await them, this relationship feels worth giving another shot.
They kiss, rounding out their journey back to one another. Can’t wait to see what happens next…
INT. AAA - BOYS DRESSING ROOM - DAY
Farkle is alone in the dressing room, still attempting to get all the paint out of his hair from like two days ago. Maya and Zay enter and find him there, laughing at his lackluster attempts to rid himself of the battle scars before shifting into more serious conversation. They ask him if he was the one who pulled Angela into negotiations.
Farkle: Although it took every ounce of kinetic energy in me to force myself to do such a thing, yes. I put down my metaphorical sword and opted for the truce. Hope everyone is damn well pleased about it.
Zay, sarcastically: Oh, you’re so brave.
Quips aside, Zay genuinely compliments him for putting his ego aside rather than letting the urge to be melodramatic win once again. Maya seconds the notion, pointing out that they have no idea what this new world is going to bring. They’re going to really have to stick together as a diva front united if they’re going to survive the change.
Farkle, starting to warm up to the idea, agrees. Oh, these divas… their friendship…
INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY
Lucas is alone in the auditorium, re-familiarizing himself with the terrain now that the dust has settled. He finishes striking the set from the Yorktown performance, hanging in the quiet for a moment and taking in the peace. It’s clear that he genuinely holds love for that musty auditorium, even if he hates everything else.
Riley enters through the dressing room stage doors, watching him fondly for a moment before stepping into the lights and interrupting his quiet. She commends him for a successfully led revolution. He brushes off the compliment, pointing out that she may have had more of a hand in its victory than she’s admitting.
Riley: Suppose it’s a good thing you didn’t listen to me when I begged for a ceasefire.
Lucas: Well, I don’t think you completely lacked the war-mongering spirit. From what I hear, you did a lot of negotiating on your end for the cause as well.
Riley: [ with a shrug ] No great moments in history happen because the fighting party put up their hands and surrendered… nor without help. Just goes to show that maybe you don’t have to do everything alone.
Lucas: … no, maybe not.
The sentiment hangs in the air between them. Lucas breaks the tension, clearing his throat and claiming that if she means to keep good on that offer, she can start by helping him clean up. She laughs, playing along and happily stepping up to finish the tidying.
Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Rumour Has It (Instrumental)” as performed by Adele || Instrumental
As if it’s the theme of the AAAC, the abrasive drums and ominous tones of “Rumour Has It” preclude our final scene.
INT. WYATT’S ROOM - NIGHT
We’re with Wyatt, holed up in his bedroom alone. He’s still looking pretty rough from his beatdown in 1.05, and while we’ve been able to ignore it while he’s in the background most of the episode, it’s hard to ignore the remnants of it up close. The emotional scars are still present too, as he’s clearly brooding with unaddressed anger.
He starts a direct message with the AAAC, essentially asking to be a part of their operations. He doesn’t want to change it or shake things up, he just wants a piece of the chaotic pie. So he’s clearly not the moderator of the thing, but he definitely wants to be a foot soldier.
The AAAC responds affirmatively, but first requires that he read their three rules of conduct. The last rule is, as it claims, the most important:
All submissions are to be posted unless otherwise expressed by the moderator. No edits or changes allowed. The page is equal opportunity, so that all voices can be heard.
No submissions are to be deleted after posting. If the sender is bold enough to say it in the first place, then they better be bold enough to handle the repercussions. Especially given that the posting is anonymous.
We don’t start things – we only state them. Our classmates say what they want to say, we are merely the messenger.
Once Wyatt agrees, he ventures the question we’re all wondering. “Who are you?” A text bubble pops up, indicating that the other side is typing a response.
In a quick series of cuts, shots of all of our main cast of suspects – Isadora, Farkle, Maya, Zay, Lucas, Charlie, Dylan, Asher, Yogi, Dave, Chai, Yindra, Jade, Sarah, Darby, etc. – show them on their phones at home or wherever they are. It could be any one of them typing the response in that moment.
Finally, the account responds.
“Welcome to AAA Confessions, Wyatt. Get to work.”
END OF EPISODE.
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I wasn’t exactly planning on doing any real summoning on the dragon banner or the gala remix since I still want to be able to spark on the next Halloween banner at the end of the month [if we get one], but I’m an extremely dumb idiot with no impulse control so that didn’t exactly go as planned, lol.
I’m pretty sure I already talked about my Gala Zena banner summon session before, but I can’t remember if I said how the Ilia banner went after that, so just to put it simply I only did my free summons on it and I got absolutely nothing of note, lol. I don’t think I even got any platinum prizes. The most noteworthy thing I got was a dupe Laranoa, I think.
Then we got to the dragon banner, which is where my hoarding plans started to really go south, lol. Dragon banners are usually easy skips for me, but GC was on rate-up and I wanted them so much I was genuinely contemplating dream summoning them [but I still don’t want to use any dream summons on dragons], so I decided to see how my free summons went, but I pretty quickly became resigned to the possibility that I’d end up chasing GC.
Which is pretty much exactly what happened, since my free summons didn’t get me GC, but I did get three whole Ariel dupes, which was mostly just three separate emotional rollercoasters of agony for me, lol. It’s not like I didn’t want Ariel dupes, since before this I only had one 0UB copy of her, but still. The first dupe I got came from my first daily tenfold, and then the second one gave me two Ariel dupes almost back to back, so that was just agonizing in a lot of ways. So yeah I ended up using tickets and wyrmites to chase for GC, and I ended up having to spend 60 extra summons to get them, so that was extremely painful, but I at least got them in the end. Specifically I got two copies of GC and a fourth Ariel dupe all on the final tenfold I did.
So I ended up with a MUB Ariel just from dupes, and a 1UB GC who I just decided to use stones on to get MUB. Which I don’t really regret, since I still have like 10 sunlight stones left after this anyway. Funnily enough I didn’t get any copies of Summer Sakuya, but I’d say that’s a good thing since I already had her MUB from all the copies I got of her when she came out, and she’s not the sort of dragon I want to have multiple copies of. So at least this banner ended up working out surprisingly well for me in spite of me spending a lot more resources on it than I probably should have.
I was actually planning to do the platinum summons to try and get GC instead of dipping into my vouchers and wyrmite, and I even got some diamantium to prepare for that, but then I found out that the platinum summon wasn’t actually for the three focus dragons on that banner, and was literally just ‘you get one 5-star dragon at random in each platinum summon’, so I just decided to pass on that entirely and use my regular summons instead.
I also got a dupe Xuan Zang at some point but I can’t remember if that was in the dragon banner or the gala remix.
And on the note of the gala remix, oh boy this whole pair of banners was just a one-two punch of me going through the exact same process of going “I’m gonna be smart about this and only spend my free tenfolds and save all my resources for the end of the month :)” and then using my resources anyway because I’m a dumb idiot baby. But like with how GC was the only dragon that was able to genuinely tempt me to spend resources on a dragon banner, I ended up being unable to resist the temptation of this gala remix because it had Gala Alex on it, who was the only gala unit in the whole game that I didn’t have at that point, and I was specifically hoping to be able to get her at some point. She was one of my main priority targets along with Halloween and New Years, so I honestly don’t even regret it that much, but it kinda sucked because I didn’t care about the Akasha and Melsa alts at all, and i already had a MUB Cat Sith, so Alex was literally the only unit on the banner I wanted, and I was hoping she’d be on a more exciting banner than this, lol.
Anyway, I still did all my free tenfolds first, and let’s just say that the very first one gave me a dupe Albert, which felt like divine punishment for my hubris with the dragon banner. I figured something like that was gonna come around to screw me over for spending on that banner, but I wasn’t expecting something so immediate and so specifically designed to mess with me.
I also got a Liger dupe from that summon as well, which was enough for me to get him MUB. Beforehand I wouldn’t have really cared since he’s not a very good dragon for the most part, but he’s apparently one of the best dragons for Gala Zena, so that’s cool.
I don’t think I got anything noteworthy from my other free tenfolds aside from a Siren dupe, which I’m just keeping in my inventory as a random copy now since I already had her MUB before this.
So then I was stuck with the lingering question of if I should go out of my way to chase Gala Alex, and if it was even worth it. I did some full on mental calculations about what my current stash was like, and how many more summons I expected to be able to get between now and the end of this month, to see how far I was wiling to go before I ended up with too few summons to be able to spark by the end of the month. I don’t remember exactly how many summons I had in my stash at that point, but I guess I figured I was willing to take the risk, since I decided to do an extra 20 summons on the banner, which got me . . . Catherine, lol. Because this banner really decided to pull the old ‘you think it’s one of the focus characters but it’s actually some random character of the same weapon type’ switcheroo two different times. I didn’t have Catherine, though, so at least she wasn’t a useless dupe like Albert. I’m probably not gonna use her in the long run, but I’m putting her in my water team for the moment along with Eugene.
After that, I decided to just cut my losses and call it quits. But as the rest of the day went on I kept thinking back to the question of how many summons i’d be able to have by the end of the month, and how many I could afford to spend on this banner while still being able to spark. Which included me taking into account how paid diamantium pulls give double wyrmsigils, because I’m not above taking advantage of that at this point if I need to, lol. So anyway I ended up opening the game again to do another summon session, at least until I got my next pity break.
And after an additional 20 summons, I actually somehow managed to get Gala Alex, lol. It honestly kinda doesn’t feel real yet, but I actually got her. The emotional rollercoaster of seeing that rainbow sword after having been spooked by Albert at the start of this banner was on a whole other level to just about anything I’ve experienced with summoning in this game, but at least it all worked out in the end.
Now I have every single gala unit in the game, including a MUB copy of every gala dragon, so that’s neat. Honestly half of the reason why I wanted Gala Alex was just to complete my collection of gala units. I’m not sure how much I’ll even use her at this point. But I’m still happy I got her after all this. I remember spending like 300 summons on her debut banner without getting her, so it’s a relief to finally get her. Same with how I recently got Gala Elly after also unsuccessfully spending like 300 summons on her debut banner.
I guess now I have to actually grind out a 6-star shadow sword for her, since I didn’t have one before this [since I don’t really use shadow swords often], and I also have to finally get around to figuring out how the fuck her kit works, lol. At least it gives me a reason to grind Kai Yan again, right in time for co-op double drops.
I’m honestly not even sure if I’m gonna be able to spark by the end of the month at this point, at least after seeing how heavily they nerfed the wyrmite and ticket rewards for the Accursed Archive rerun. At the end of the last banner I had like 200 summons left over, and I have a little over 2.4k diamantium, so even taking into account the double wyrmsigils for diamantium summons thing, it might be very tight. Especially since I’m planning to get the dream summon at the end of the month as well. Though I do have like a million adventurer stories and stuff to read, since I’ve only read like three or four in the past, like, six months, so if I really need to I could probably just go through a lot of that, but we’ll see how it goes.
Technically I don’t even know if I’ll be interested in sparking on whatever banner we’ll get at the end of the month. I’m expecting it to be another Halloween banner, maybe bundled with a new gala dragon, which would all be pretty tempting. But we don’t really have any idea what to expect from it, so for all I know I might not even be interested in summoning on it, which would be a bit anti-climactic at this point. But if we they give us a new gala dragon, I want to get at least one copy of them. And new Halloween units have a good chance to be really tempting, at least since they’re limited. I know the Akasha and Melsa alts were also limited Halloween alts, but I just didn’t care that much for them. Which might end up happening if we get another Halloween banner, but I hope not.
Personally my main hope at this point is that we actually get Halloween Euden as a gacha alt and not just a story costume. I know he’s gotten other event-only story costumes before, but I think this one’s different since it’s a lot more unique and detailed than the other ones, and this is also the first time we’ve ever seen it. It’s also kinda weird that it doesn’t even show up in the event’s story itself, which makes me also wonder if it might be more of a tease for a follow-up Halloween event. If he does end up getting released as a unit, I’m guessing he’ll be a shadow wand or healer going by how his design looks, which would be kinda unfortunate since those are some really competitive areas, but I’d still want to get him just because I love his design, lol.
I also wouldn’t be surprised if we get some combination of Shion, Delphi, and Shishimai alts, to go with their new wyrmprint art. I know we’ve gotten all sorts of seasonal alt designs that only show up in wyrmprints, but we did recently get Summer Amane who was first teased via a log-in bonus, so who knows. It’d at least be nice to get any sort of playable version of Shion, but I also really like how Shishimai looks in his Halloween costume.
Maybe we’ll finally get playable versions of mummy Luca or werewolf Ranzal, but I’m not gonna hold my breath.
That’s basically all we have to even vaguely go off of, but I also like the idea that maybe the new Halloween event will be a third part to the Accursed Archives event series, which might mean we’ll get Halloween Heinwald, or a story-based alt for him like with Xuan Zang.
Also, while I remember, my current dream summon candidate is Mitsuba [mainly because there’s barely anyone left in the permanent pool who interests me that much, lol], but I’m holding out until the free tenfolds end just in case I get her from one of them. If I do, my backup option would probably be Yurius. Like I said before, GC was an option, but now that I have them they’re not an issue anymore.
Anyway these two banners feel like they dragged me through all seven layers of Hell, and now i think I’ve made a contract to sell my soul to Big Chungus.
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Running Interference
A technical sequel to Frontier Medicine. Detailing the closure of the EZ conflict. It draws premise from a Star Trek Enterprise episode.
Ambassador Elroy was sat in her office staring at her private Screen propped up on her desk. On it was a chess board with pieces scattered about in play. A game against her son who was hopefully but unlikely to be in bed at home far far away. At the present time it was her move and she was stuck in a quandary. His last move had just taken her rook with a bishop which know threatened to take her queen as well. As she considered the consequences of moving a knight to block the attack there came a buzz from her door that drew her attention away from the game.
“Come in.”
The door slid open and one of her aides stuck his head in.
“We have a situation ma’m.”
Elroy set her Screen aside, taking a sip of water to clear her throat.
“What is it?”
“One of the Zygaroons called for a duel against an Ent.”
Elroy almost dropped the glass.
“Oh dear.”
--
The Ents and Zygaroons were best described as incompatible. The roots of this long running dispute stretches long before the Federation arrived into the region. In that distant past the Zygaroons had been the military arm of an alien coalition that was expanding its territory through military conquest. They were good too, nothing in the sector could stand against them. It was the Ents who stopped them, who despite their limited ventures into space held a clear technological edge over the Zygaroons. It was a humiliating defeat for the proud militant species. Eventually the coalition splintered and each species went their separate way. However the animosity between Ents and Zygaroons simply moved into the background.
Since then the two species had been on uneasy terms. On occasion a skirmish would erupt at their shared borders. Minor disputes escalating into a trade of weapons fire. Normally the Federation wouldn’t have interfered, they were only in a loose trade agreement with the Ents and had only the vaguest of diplomatic contact with the Zygaroons. In addition the conflicts were few and far between with a week long skirmish occurring every couple of cycles. Compared to other more volatile sectors it was a serene peace. However the latest conflict between the two alien species had spilled into settled Federation space. For days the Federation briefly found itself involved in the pointless conflict. Now the Federation was determined to cement a lasting peace between the two historic antagonists.
The negotiations had been tenuous, but overall going in a positive direction. There had been outcry and outbursts that ended sessions, but each time the diplomatic corp had managed to draw both sides back to the table. Working laboriously at hammering out the disputes between the two species in sessions that extended long past schedules and deadlines. This was much more than a band aid to patch the current issue, it was an in depth biopsy to stem any further conflicts. Neither side had liked all the terms of the treaty, but neither was in a position to refuse to sign. It had been starting to look like real peace might have been attainable.
--
“So run it back again, how did the duel come about?”
More people had been gathered to the limited office space of the Ambassador. Most of the command staff was now present, talking in low voices. The mood was grim with a palpable frustration giving it a buzz of anxiety. Coffee was being delivered and passed around to wake the drowsy staff. Some wore a mix of pajamas and uniforms in an absurd clash with the tense atmosphere.
“We’ve been trying to keep the Ents and Zygaroons separated as much as possible. They’ve mostly stuck to their own ships when not negotiating on the station. However there was a tour of the habitation ring being put on for some of the Ent delegation. One of them was conversing with a guard about the war. Retelling a war story.”
Several members in the room were in communication with those outside. Monitoring the situation. The whole crew had been made aware of the situation and now many eyes watched the two parties who had been separated to their ships. So far neither had made any further movements or communications.
“There was a Zygaroon group walking two corridors away. Somehow they overheard the story and rushed over. Apparently, the Zygaroon knew of the story and of one of the deceased in the Ent’s story. Some miracle of coincidence. The guards managed to keep them apart. But the Zygaroon issued a challenge for a duel in the commotion. I’m sorry.”
The aide finished his story, looking at everyone in the room as he apologized. Elroy leaned forward in her chair.
“It wasn’t your fault, it was sheer bad luck.” Elroy said, moving on to focus attention to the present situation. She looked over to their local expert who was leaning against the wall.
Local expert in this particular situation referred to Captain McTav. A civilian freighter captain who ran a small merchant fleet in the region. He was one of the few captains who could negotiate with both the Ents and Zygaroons without any complications. Recognized for hands on experience and familiarity with obscure cultural details. His glowing recommendation had come with an attachment, warning of the somewhat dubious nature of some of his shipments.
“So what IS an honor duel?”
The captain stroked his rough stubble. For some reason he took this job assignment to be his excuse for a vacation and had stopped shaving. “What were the exact words the Zygaroon said?”
The aide had to take a moment to recall. “Something like, fyr blood for dor blood, Jacusta take my vow, something like that. Translator couldn’t catch it all in the commotion.”
The captain let out a dramatic whistle. “That is severe. Jacusta is the Zygaroon version of a revenge god. They don’t invoke their gods for anything but the most extreme of situations. A Jacusta duel is one that must have a death. If the other side refuses or the challenger backs down then their life becomes forfeit for anyone to take.”
There was a rise in the muttering in the room, and Elroy looked to her secretary. “Who are the parties involved?” The secretary looked at her screen before replying. “The challenge was issued by Zygaroon First Wing Tekmen’Da, the Ent is Ambassador Vekmensa.”
There was an audible groan from the gathered people. Elroy kept a straight face despite her own internal misgivings. The math was clear to everyone. A First Wing was the equivalent of a General, and the Ambassador was part of the Ent diplomatic delegation. If either of them died the related species would withdraw from negotiations and the war would begin again with renewed fury.
McTav looked at an imaginary watch on his wrist. “Well I guess I’ll just enjoy this 54 hours of pace before the fireworks start up again. That’s how long you have by the way. Preparation for the duel will take 54 hours or 3 of their days.”
Elroy downed the rest of her coffee. Then she rose to activate a wall Screen. Writing the world duel and circling it with her finger.
“Alright people, I want ideas and solutions. There are no bad plans.”
--
Because the Federation was the mediator between the two species the negotiations were being held in Federation territory. Specifically on the Alhazen, a Federation station built in the fashion of an O’Neill Tube, had been chosen as the neutral site for diplomacy. The alien diplomatic ships had been stationed on the far sides of the tube, with the Federation delegation occupying the middle areas as a buffer. Despite the intense ongoing negotiations, business for the massive station continued as usual. Markets continued to bustle with all sorts of merchandise and people. Advertisements flashed images of various wares and an announcer routinely listing new arrivals and sales in different languages. The Alhazen was largely a commercial center, having been constructed at a center point of interstellar trade routes.
Overlooking the market was a sizable food court which was capable of catering to a variety of alien diets. From a window side booth a group of four Federation soldiers sat sharing a meal together while off duty. Several times they had been approached by individuals or reporters asking about the duel. Information of which had leaked after the Zygaroons had requested usage of one of the station’s arenas for the duel. They had declined to divulge any information but now in the quiet privacy of the enclosed booth they discussed the matter freely.
Tano, Kevin, Sept, and Baylor. All four of them held the rank of Corporal, and had served with each other for a long time in the diplomatic branch. While no strangers to diplomatic hiccups this incident was something even they found exciting. They knew the implications of the duel. Sept was of the opinion that the renewal of the conflict wouldn’t have a direct effect on the Federation. Kevin rebutted him stating the conflict would disrupt local stability and potentially place Federation soldiers at risk on the shared borders. Baylor and Sept frankly found the duel to be a barbaric practice. A legalized form of murder that should have been abolished long ago. Tano was willing to pass it off as traditional practice, though he agreed it should have been abolished. As they touched base with each other it became apparent that no one in the corp had come up with a plan that would stop the duel from taking place. Despite all their efforts there was only another 24 hours before the duel started.
“No, I’m telling you, because they invoked Jacusta one of the two has to die.” Sept reiterated, dipping one of their fries in ranch.
“Are you sure?” Kevin inquired as he spoke through a mouthful of salad.
“Stop eating with your mouth full.” Tano nagged. Kevin threw a leaf at him in response as Sept continued.
“Yes, that’s the whole crux of the matter. Even if they call if off one of them is likely going to die. If the Ent withdraws the Zygaroons will kill them anyway. If the Zygaroon backs down there are definitely challengers who would take his head for bringing dishonor to his people.” Sept explained. Swatting Baylor’s wandering hands from their fries. “Either way the negotiations would collapse and they go back to shooting each other.”
“What’s to stop someone from challenging a baby then?” Baylor said, consoling herself with a swig of soda.
“Well assuming a Zygaroon would invoke a blood god for a baby, I’m guessing a champion would have to be chosen.” Kevin interposed.
“A champion?” Tano interrupted, sitting up straighter.
“Well that’s how a duel from an old holo film I watched worked.” Kevin said as he shrugged.
“That… might just work then.”
--
Elroy and her heads of staff were still at work having moved from the office to one of the diplomatic cruiser’s meeting rooms. All four wall screens were in use, displaying biographical information of the duelists, as well as any information they could scrounge up about the duel. Most of them were running on the barest minimum of sleep. The frustrating aspect was how bare skeleton the guidelines were. No room given for them to work out a solution. The lawyers had pointed this out repeatedly as they argued over different translations of the old texts. The alien species were also being obstinate, dead set on settling the matter via the duel despite acknowledging the effect it would have on the negotiations. Central had only recommended they take the best course of action to avoid involve the Federation in the escalating conflict. The wording of the message seemed resolved to the peace negotiations failure. A failure that Elroy and her team refused to accept.
Through the open door walked Lieutenant Commander Maus, commander of the diplomatic security force. A thoughtful look on his face. Behind him followed a couple of officers Elroy didn’t recognize.
“Do we have a solution yet?” Lt. Commander Maus inquired.
Elroy waved a weary hand. “Unfortunately not yet, and I’m afraid we are running out of time.”
“Well, I may have a solution, or rather these officers came up with a plan. But I’m afraid it’s a very bad plan.”
“At this point I would take any plan.”
And so Maus explained the plan. The chatter in the room died down as people listened to the outrageous idea. By the end there was stunned silence.
Elroy chuckled, breaking the silence and all eyes turned to her as she sank her head into her hands. “That is a terrible plan.”
--
Ambassador Vekmensa’s skin was changing hues at an alarming rate. An emotional display that conveyed his emotional turmoil. Peace had been within his grasp, but now all the labor and strife was thrown to the wind. The hot headed Zygaroons had thrown it away by declaring the barbaric duel. But with the rush of anger came a feeling of undeniable dread. The duel was very clear in its rules and intentions. It was a death sentence for at least one of them. And Vekmensa’s fighting days were long behind him. His challenger was still in his prime while Vekmensa had already retired from the military life. There was little that Vekmensa could do but be consoled by his coworkers that they would avenge his death. Little solace for a walking dead Ent.
The internal comm buzzed to life. “Members of the Federation delegation are here to see you, sir.”
Vekmensa rose to his feet. And after quickly checking his appearance in the reflective glass door he walked out to greet the delegation. They had attempted to intervene a few times, offering protection for Vekmensa so he could decline the duel. However Vekmensa refused, an Ent’s sense of honor might not be as vigorous as the Zygaroon’s but even he still had some pride.
Waiting in the ready room was Ambassador Elroy and her head of security, Maus. They exchanged greetings and sat down on couches to get to the matter at hand. The Ambassador started off immediately.
“Ambassador, as I’m sure you are aware that if the duel is carried out then the conflict we have worked so hard to end will renew.”
She held up a hand to forestall any comment.
“However we understand that the duel must be carried to a satisfactory conclusion. As such we propose that you choose the Federation to supply a champion.”
“A champion?”
“Yes, the rules outlines that in the case a challenge is issued to someone who is unable to fight a champion may be chosen.”
“I am perfectly able to fight.” Vekmensa said indignantly.
“We are trying to help you. You are retired, your body is worn down from the combat stims from your time as a soldier. Choosing a champion maintains your honor and preserves the negotiation.”
Elroy took a breath before continuing.
“You will choose us to be your champion. Do it or we will sanction your people.”
--
First Wing Tekmen’Da sat in meditation. With the duel upcoming he had requested time be given for him to prepare in peace. A part of him regretted issuing the challenge. As the heat of the moment had faded he realized the implications of his impulsive action. But he resolved himself to the fate he had chosen. He wouldn’t dishonor his people by backing down now. Vengeance would be wrought.
There was a knock on his door. Tekmen’Da fought back a rude response and calmly spoke.
“Enter.”
A diplomatic aide stepped and bowed their head.
“First Wing, the Ents have chosen the Federation to be their champions for the duel.”
Tekmen’Da frowned.
“Is this a betrayal?”
“No, it appears the humans are looking to sacrifice one of their one to preserve the negotiations.”
Tekmen’Da was stunned. Though as he thought about it the logic made sense. The Federation was desperate to reach a peace agreement. For them the death of a human wouldn’t halt the negotiations. He could almost applaud their bravery if it weren’t so dishonorable. Meddling in affairs that didn’t involve them and sending a man to his death.
--
The time of the duel had arrived. Arena #5 would hold host to the event. In preparation for the event the floor had been cleared creating a clear walled in ring. Only the diplomatic envoys were permitted entry, media and onlookers restricted from entering. As the Ents and Zygaroons filed in they moved to sit on opposing sides of the arena. Besides the Federation guards separating the two sides only Ambassador Elroy was present in the stands. Some of the Ents and Zygaroons commented on this. Ambassador Vekmensa sat besides the ambassador.
“Where are your people?” He inquired.
“Only one person is required to be a witness.” She stated flatly. Her impassive face giving away no emotion in the moment. Vekemensa fell silent, a human was going to sacrifice themselves for him and his people were doubting their courage. The feeling left a bitter taste in his gut.
The two duelists, Zygaroon and human, enter the ring to cheers from both sides. They sit on opposing sides as ritual rites are performed. A priest sanctifying the arena and the weapons with splashes of salt and water. Attendants give each duelist two traditional blades. Long dual handed straight edge swords. Then the fighters are stripped nearly bare, and the crowd grows silent, the moment now upon them.
The two face each other in the middle of the ring. Tekmen’Da watches the human heft the twin swords in their hands. Clearly inexperienced with the weapons. He calls out to them. “I applaud your bravery warrior. I promise a quick death.”
The human nods but doesn’t reply. The priest then asks them to recite the ritual pledges.
“I, Tekmen’Da pledge to Jacusta that my cause is righteous and pray for his support.”
The human emulated the pledge. “I, Tano Tran pledge to Jacusta that my cause is righteous and pray for his support.”
The priest calls for Jacusta to bear witness to the warriors and strikes a bell signaling the start of the duel.
--
The human thrusts one of the blades into the floor and rushes forward surprising the general. Tekmen’Da raises his blades just in time to deflect the incoming strike. For a moment he is stunned, but is unable to process the thought as the human swings again. The human displays a deft handling of the weapon. The blade a spinning blur that Tekmen’Da could just barely stop. The general is forced back several steps before he manages to recover himself and start his own attack. The Zygaroon form with two long blades was to utilize one in a more defensive posture with the other moving to swing offensively. Tekmen’Da showed his years of experience by switching his offensive and defensive blade on the fly which seemed to surprise the human who was now on the retreat. However the human was smaller and Tekmen’Da struggled to strike at the agile warrior.
The crowd which had been cheering in support now sat in quiet awe. The clash of blades echoing in the ring, neither side seeming to have the advantage. The duel was lasting longer than any had expected. As the seconds ticked into minutes the two continued to hack away at each other. Yet no blows had successfully landed. With a full swing with both blades Tekmen’Da forcefully pushed the human away opening a gap between the two. As the human skipped backwards Tekmen’Da took a moment to catch his breath. To his annoyance while he was dripping with sweat his opponent didn’t seem to be perspiring at all. He would have to do something to finish this quickly before he got too tired to raise his blades..
In one quick movement the human throws the longsword he is holding overhand at Tekmen’Da. Then before reaching behind him to retrieve his other sword. Tekmen’Da is forced to knock away the spinning sword. The wild blade sliding across the floor. With a yell the human leaps at him. Tekmen’Da instinctively raises his swords to block the blow. But the human doesn’t swing at him and instead circles his blade to force one of the longswords from the Zygaroon’s grasp. There is a collective gasp as the sword clatters against a far wall. The human kicks the general in the chest sending him stumbling on his back. Without pause the human rushes forward with his blade raised. Ready to thrust into the alien’s chest. Tekmen’Da in a wild bid of desperation rises from the ground, a yell erupting from his own throat as he brings his sword stabbing forward. There is a clash of swords against each other.
--
The crowd was completely silent staring at the two figures who seemed frozen in time. Red blood drips onto the floor and the human slumps over, the Zygaroon sword having pierced through its midriff. As the crowd cheers the fallen human is quickly covered with a sheet by the guards. Tekmen’Da takes a moment before rising to his feet and then bows before the priest who declares him the victor of the duel. Vekmensa looks at Elroy whose face remains impassive before rising to leave with his people. Though this outcome was necessary he still feels ashamed and guilty. Elroy rises and walks down to the arena. Tekmen’Da passes her.
“They fought well.”
Elroy didn’t respond and after a moment the general quickly left the arena as well. Very quickly it is only the humans left in the arena.
The humans quickly remove the sword and place Tano on a gurney before withdrawing for their ship. As they walk through the empty hallways they maintain a somber mood as they escort the covered gurney through the station.
Aboard the ship the crew wheel the gurney into an empty room before leaving. Alone, Ambassador Elroy takes a moment to switch on the harsh overhead lights before walking to the gurney. She rolls back the sheet, uncovering the young face of Tano. Who seemed merely asleep with his eyes closed.
“How you feeling Sargeant?”
His eyes opened. “I’m a Corporal, Ambassador.”
“You’re getting promoted for dying in the line of duty.”
“Oh, that’s cool.” Sargeant Tano said rather mildly.
“So how are you feeling Sargeant.”
“Oh I’m good, can’t feel my legs, but otherwise good.”
“Your legs?”
“Yeah, think I severed my spinal cord with that blade.”
“Was your spinal cord cybernetic?” Elroy said with concern.
“Yeah.”
“So you’re good?”
“Yeah, I’m good. No other organs done there to harm.” Tano patted the sheet covering his abdomen.
“Well the medtechs will be along shortly so just hang tight.”
“Can’t exactly move now can I?”
A small smile crept across the Ambassador’s face.
“Do you always get so cheeky after faking your death.”
“Sorry, it’s the adrenaline.”
--
After the duel the negotiations continued smoothly. Both races now eager to close the deal, the resolve of the Federation having convinced them to carry through with their obligations. The Vek Accords was soon signed, signaling a renewed stability to the region. In official records Corporal Tano was reported as being killed in action and was subsequently replaced by Sargent Tahno. In a twist that was entertaining to Tano’s friends. Corporal Tano was buried with a number of commendations and awards, while Sargent Tahno was later forced to deliver news of the death to the family in person. Central was quite satisfied with the results though the ethical and bureaucratic nightmare was logged as an official complaint by several individuals. However the entire report was sealed afterwards and tucked away in the archives.
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