and while I'm here at 12:24 am when I have things to do tomorrow, in all seriousness can we cool it on the complaining about a book that isn't even out? if you really don't like Keefe, and reading a book from his perspective would make you unhappy, then...don't read it? if news about a fictional book about elves is making you seriously upset then I think maybe it would be a good idea to take a step back from the series. but idk do what you want I guess

Reliable Information Regarding Glucoflush Scam

Inactive way of life, deficient diet routine, together with genetics create imbalances with blood, high cholesterol, and blood pressure level. The top risk factors cause cardiovascular illnesses combined with type-2 diabetes, one of additional health issues. Any admission involving microorganisms directly into the bowel hinders in your body ., which results in severe all kinds of sugar compression into the physique and in addition extensive issues. Yet, quite a lot of glucose assist diet supplements is able to recover the very best glucose place and get away from single right from type-2 diabetes, amongst similar health problems. That glucoflush is a really sugar promote rule at one point would sanitize the physique, that will help strengthen your tum cells lining and maintain the pancreatic. Read on to find out about glucoflush and your effectiveness from this glucoflush review. This is the dietary supplement who assists pancreatic operates not to mention sound additionally. According to the manufacturer, our Mayan-inspired cleansing strategy has natural ingredients that happens to be methodically effective.

Our increase could be purportedly an excellent option for aiming for real cause to do with blood flow change. The manufacturer cases whom high blood pressure results from microorganisms therefore the blueprint eradicates these products as well as suppresses blood glucose level capacity change. The software creator can recommend day-to-day admission to the entire ingredients to get best possible success. The patron could very well add 2-3 drops on the add to on their week juice. Shoppers are counseled to produce the main supplement to get 3-6 months. Within 3-months, the operator is going to have been subject to internal cleansing. Any package provides a dropper allowing customers to appraise the wide range of drops. All of the dietary supplement end up being used using a drink considering body are generally seriously absorbable during the tummy. The entire solution becomes effective upon consumption. Contaminated water is the proliferation soil having to do with mutated parasites whom invade the gut. Aforementioned outcomes in a lot of pounds, irritable bowel syndrome, as well digestive system health factors. Their parasites of course initiate pancreatic inflammation a consequence of toxic sugar enzymes. Say you decided to head to this website, you can get a large number of a look at glucoflush complaints.

The company guarantees a capsule fundamentally erases the dangerous parasites together with microorganisms around the bowel. This intestinal tract features germsmicroorganism whom engage in many operations. Your meals are enjoyed right into the human body, although the microbiome will certainly avoid many foods, poorly hurting stomach tasks. Stomach fitness disorder hinders sugar tolerance and also results in a heavy chance most typically associated with injections battle. Disadvantaged blood sugar levels are subsequently connected to tummy wellness. Microorganisms sometimes restrain insulin shots development, raising the prospects of diabetic issues. It contains 11 natural and then effective recipe, and also it ruins our microorganisms, reducing opportunity of varying blood glucose and being diabetic over the years. Our procedure disagreements often the parasites which usually attack the instincts. Using the designer, a new non-GMO, GMP-certified, coupled with FDA-approved building that generates this process blood sugar enhancing herbal supplement is perfect for someone who has type two diabetes or just changing sugar levels are regulated. Healthier should be to follow this or perhaps take a look at my conventional how does a person realize related to glucoflush results.

THE WEEK AHEAD: May 3 - May 9, 2021

By Kiki Feliz

♑️♉️♍️ Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo

More action this week than last, which is good! Last week was about planning — and in some ways, planning poorly or neglectfully. I saw last week that some of you are struggling with your identities, figuring out who you really want to be in this world & how you want to present yourselves to others.

This week, I see some of your ideas about who you are starting to take shape on the physical plane; I also see that you are putting your heart into it more! Not necessarily emotionally, as in self-love, but like courageously. Think about how they say athletes etc. have “heart,” meaning they are dedicated for the love of the accomplishment/the love of the game. The self-love aspect will come, but for those of you who know about the Tarot, this reading is dominated by Wands (spirited, organized action & courage) rather than Cups (emotions).

I see you’ve been fighting your intuition, likely about spiritual work that needs to be done. There’s a lot of resistance and defensiveness here. It looks like some of you are trying to protect yourself from something. For some, it’s from a player-type romantic figure; others of you may be trying to protect yourself from addictive behaviors and substance abuse.

You seem to be fighting a problem that you are wholly responsible for; something you’ve conjured up in your own head. Ultimately you have complete power and control over this situation, even if it doesn’t seem like it. Even if the opposition (the addiction or the romantic interest) does have some standing here, that doesn’t really mean anything — it’s standing that YOU have given them. Tear it down whenever you’re ready! If this means going to rehab for addiction recovery, do that. If this means cutting this person down from the pedestal you’ve built them, DO THAT! The pedestal might not even be that high (meaning you may not actually consider this person to be that dope) but still, cut that shit down. STOP FUCKING SPYING ON THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA!! It’s not helpful lmao 😂

Take a rest from engaging with whatever this is, and go find some respect. Whether this is respect from your community of likeminded people or self-respect, you need to figure out for yourself. Either way, focus on other people and other, healthier social activities. Maybe get off of social media for a few days altogether. Go hang out with people you haven’t seen in a while. Go for a hike and spend some time outside! But most of all, you need to give this old pattern a rest and cleanse your system of the person/substance so you can move forward.

Once you do this, I see things moving very harmoniously for you! Drop the ball on recovery, however, and you’ll be right back in the cycle of juggling dumb shit and self-sabotaging, taking away valuable resources from your own brain and/or wallet that you could be using for something else more valuable in the long run.

I don’t need to tell you that this addiction/person is bullshit, you already know. This situation may have brought out a side of you that you don’t like; maybe you have even resorted to negative manipulations in order to try to get what you wanted from this situation, or to score (relevant in both the sexual & drug-related sense of the word).

If it’s a person, maybe you thought that you were meant to be together ~/*if only you could outlast the competition*/~. This is simply just NOT TRUE. This is NOT an episode of The Bachelor!

If it’s a drug/alcohol issue, you may have stolen from your parents to fund the habit or done other things as an act of rebellion against tradition. Either way, I see you struggling mentally to win this fight, but not for long. There may even be some enablers in your life that you will have to eliminate.

You are strong enough to win and you do have a community of people cheering you on! Take that hype then use that as fuel to help you remember why it’s important for you to win this battle. Or, alternatively, rather than “hype” it could be negative reactions to the situation told to you by friends and family... maybe they didn’t like how someone was treating you, or how you were treating the community or yourself as a result of your contact with this person/substance. Either way, your community is far more important than this person or this substance. Remember that! There is absolutely hope on the horizon for success in leaving this situation behind.

Something fated is going to happen for y’all very soon! This may have to do with an adventure you’ve been waiting to take the next step on, a trip you’re already on to a new destination for those of you who are planning on traveling, or a goal you’re already pursuing. It may be the rebirth of a long-awaited dream, one that you’ve been stuck reflecting on for a while. You may have thought this dream was dead, but the universe was just waiting for the right time to give it to you.

You’ve had a lot of struggles, but I see you coming into a period of light, independence, joy and work. Some of you may be recovering from really horrible incidents, like depression, sexual assaults, thefts, break-ins, and anxiety, but I want you to know that recovery is imminent and I see you consciously taking a hold of your recovery through acts of joy and through your work!

Whether this defeated feeling you may have stems from addiction or a negative incident that had a bad effect on your psyche, I want you to know that recovery is a PRACTICE and it takes time. And that’s okay! Just keep the lines of communication open with yourself and others; most importantly be HONEST with yourself and you will absolutely be capable of taking back control over your life. Big CEO energy here — get ready to make some executive decisions soon!

Keep in mind that nothing happens overnight and that you will need to work hard on all of your goals in order to accomplish them. Temptation (that trap, that pit) is always going to be there, but you have to take the reins and drive around it, or go consciously in the other direction. This will be hard and it will take longer than you expect; you will also have to confront your shadow side in order to succeed long-term, which will be scary. But approach yourself with love and positivity. In the meantime, do what you can to make yourself feel attractive. This is the start of a whole new you! That person is worth patiently and consciously doing the work for, right?

In love, if you’re dating, it looks like some of you may be caught up with some lies, infidelity, or self-sabotaging (either by you or by someone else). If this is the case, declare your independence and GTFO. Seriously. This situation is giving off bad vibes anyway. It may take a while for you to trust enough to love again, but you absolutely will. You are attractive, kindhearted, and sweet! That’s an irresistible combo.

If you’re single and thinking about approaching someone romantically this week, you can... but you probably aren’t ready, and the attempt may come off as immature and poorly planned. If you really think this person is your soulmate, then I would advise giving it a better effort. The person you plan to approach may be very defensive or shut off. Be prepared to bring on a Major Romantic Gesture if you want to seduce them and take down their walls! Regardless, take a chill pill on the social media stalking, bud — you’ll just psych yourself out. Go outside and hang out with your friends instead!

If you’re in a relationship, it looks like silly squabbles may be coming between y’all, but I do see a possibility of them being resolved with some balance. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. Change the subject, have some patience, and if you are really at an impasse, then take a break to yourself to reflect. Otherwise, things could get ugly and we don’t want that! Is there something you’re being willfully blind to? Something you are ignoring? I see it becoming a big problem later on.

For those of you who are committed, someone in the relationship may be judgmental about the other person’s friend group (are they bad influences?? Perhaps. But that’s none of their business if everyone is adults). If this is the case, suck it up and go find some work to do... they aren’t going to change their friends for you, so let it go. Domineering attitudes will not help the matter. Just compartmentalize the time you spend with those people and leave it at that.

You and your partner are allowed to have your own independent lives, so let that happen. If this is an issue, I see it being unresolved for quite some time. But if you stay open to the love and to helping each other grow, and remind each other how attractive you find each other, despite the negatives, I see you bringing this back from the brink of death and successfully turning over a new leaf/making it to the next chapter in the relationship!

On Children’s Books, Pigs and Trains and Why We’re Still Talking about Kevin

Some time ago I wrote a piece about the damage done by gendering in children’s books. (You can find it here.)

In it, I wrote about the tendency for schools, parents and society in general to guide boys more or less subtly away from books perceived by the adult world to be “for girls” - that is, books featuring girls as the main character, books with pink covers, books featuring code words like “princess,” or “friendship”; books featuring certain animals (horses, cats, unicorns), books with titles in ornate “girly” fonts, and so on. 

Since then the trend has continued to grow. Boys, or so we are led to believe, just will not read about girls, although girls have historically always been quite happy to read about boys. Therefore, in order to reach the widest readership (ie, to sell the greatest number of books), publishing has been investing heavily in the growing trend for increasingly, ridiculously gendered books (Bible Stories for Boys, anyone? Dictionaries for Boys? Colouring books for boys?) with the result that currently, male characters vastly outnumber female ones in children’s fiction - even when those characters are non-human. Add to this the tendency to assign maleness as a default wherever gender is not specified, and that’s a big swing in favour of the boys.

Here’s an article from a few years ago on just this trend, in which the author makes the point that boys are perceived (or encouraged) to value maleness to such an extent that even female-coded non-human characters are perceived to be too girly for them. Thus Peppa Pig is just for girls, while Thomas the Tank Engine, the Very Hungry Caterpillar, and the Wild Things (in Maurice Sendak’s classic picture book) are for everyone. 

And of course, when such ideas are introduced in childhood, they remain with us in adulthood. Even now, there are male academics teaching English literature courses that do not feature a single woman author. Women’s fiction courses are seen as a concession to a niche interest, of less literary significance than the “mainstream”, which is still largely dominated by white men.

And though the market for “women’s fiction” has never been healthier, it too runs on the idea that women are a minority group, and their fiction of no relevance to men. Books by women tend to be jacketed differently, whatever their genre. 

On Twitter I recently compared editions of Toni Morrison’s BELOVED  with editions of Ben Okri’s THE FAMISHED ROAD (also a prize-winning story of race, ghosts, coming-of-age and suffering). The difference in approach was striking. The jackets for BELOVED featured predominantly pink colour schemes, cursive lettering, “soft” imagery (flowers, houses, female figures, romantic imagery), while Okri’s book features predominantly earth colours, landscapes, male figures, trees. I’m pretty sure Freud would have had something to say about that.

So, what does it matter, I hear you say? You don’t judge a book by its cover.

Except that we all do precisely that. It is, after all, what book covers are for. 

I’ve been a judge for numerous literary prizes, and I’ve seen the effect of this first-hand. Books are subconsciously perceived to be more literary, and therefore of more value, if they have male-coded packaging. That means neutral imagery; male figures; a “serious” font. Pink novels, with titles in frivolous, cursive fonts have less of a chance of being taken seriously. Perhaps that is why men still win more big literary prizes than women, though women writers outnumber them. And even when women do win prizes, it often tends to be because their books feature a male protagonist (and therefore, male-coded cover art). Look at Hilary Mantel’s WOLF HALL: Anna Burns’ MILKMAN. Lionel Shriver’s WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN. All this reinforces the idea that stories about men are more worthy, more important, better written and generally more relevant to all of us than stories  about women.

So maybe it’s time for us to admit that we’ve talked enough about Kevin. Now perhaps we need to talk about why we’re giving Kevin and his friends so much of our creative attention. Why does the patronising term “chick-lit” still exist? Why are we still allowing ourselves to be dismissed as “fluffy”, “romantic” or “domestic”, as if those things were somehow irrelevant to the broader human experience? Men fall in love. Men live in houses. Men experience feelings. Men enjoy comfort, and friendship, and food. Why then are books about these things being coded as exclusively female? And though THE HUNGER GAMES is repeatedly cited as “proof” that boys will sometimes read books about girls, why do the heroines of these books so often turn out to be warriors, reflecting a conflict-driven, “masculine” view of the world? Could it be that a conflict-driven narrative is seen as the only way of attracting a male readership? 

If so, it isn’t working. Boys are turning away from reading just as much as they ever did. Perhaps it’s because reading is seen as essentially a quiet, and therefore “girly” pastime. Perhaps it’s because boys are more likely than girls to be encouraged to “get out and play in the open air”. Or perhaps it’s because there just isn’t enough choice in their increasingly gendered reading. 

Reading is for everyone. As such, it should reflect the broadest possible human experience, the widest variety of narratives. Reading helps us understand people of other races, other genders, other ages, other backgrounds, other physical and neurological realities. To refuse that is to refuse to engage with the world around us. And this is what we should teach our kids: that stories are what unite us. They are our way of discovering the world. There are no “boy stories” and “girl stories,” There are only stories, for us to enjoy and to learn from. No-one’s story is irrelevant. No-one’s experience is lesser than ours. And the sooner we teach our children that, the less we’ll need to talk about Kevin. 

I have my finale exam tomorrow and I'm 99,9% sure that I'll fail. I feel like such a failure right now. I could retake the school year but why I understand the school work then, if I don't understand it now. I'll probably stay unemployed forever, because I'm so anxious at job interviews and I literally don't know how to talk to people. Maybe it'd be the best if I didn't exist because nothing would change if wasn't here anyway. I wouldn't be missed and I know I will never be happy anyway.

hey dude, listen. it sounds a bit like you’re spiraling right now and i really think it’d do you some good to just take a step back and breathe. i hope the test went okay, and by okay i hope i mean you got through it, because that’s literally all you can ask of yourself. it’s natural to be nervous about such things and if you’re also struggling with mental illness on top of that, it’s easy to get lost in the heaviness of that anxiety. making big unfounded assumptions about your future, feeling a sense of doom, thinking in black and whites instead of recognizing the nuance and middle ground - all of those are red flags, not reliable thought processes that you need to build your life around. it’s okay to process negative emotions, to be upset and to feel overwhelmed and to want to give up at at times. we all need to break down a little when we’re overwhelmed so we can let some of that pent up tension out. but that should look like allowing yourself to cry, reaching out to those around you, getting some rest, and removing yourself from situations that exacerbate the pain when possible. not harming yourself in hopes of dulling those emotions, because that’s how you get stuck in a cycle of self destruction that is more suffocating than just confronting the pain and trying to let it go. look, you’re young and life is generally a lot longer than it seems when you’re in school, in the sense that we learn how resilient we are over and over again. we’re supposed to ‘mess up.’ things go ‘wrong ’and then we carve our paths out of that, and we adapt. whether we realize it or not. you’ve done it before, and you can do it again. if it turns out you have to retake the school year, then with the extra time and maybe additional support from your teachers, the school work may become a little clearer if you give it the chance and try out new learning techniques to find what works for you. that doesn’t make you a failure at all. you clearly care a lot about your future, and you’ve already made so much more progress than you realize. i know it doesn’t seem like it in this moment. but seriously, whatever happens, after the initial disappointment and frustration, you WILL be able to return to a sense of normality. the extent of how much it hurts right now is not permanent. there’s truly no set time schedule for education, no matter how much they want to convince us otherwise. you just have to do what you can with what you’ve been given. that’s more than good enough. you’re more than good enough. and about job interviews - try to slow down. there’s absolutely no evidence that you will be unemployed forever, in fact it’s very unlikely, and your worth/future happiness doesn’t rely on that factor anyway. honestly, i’ve been to a few job interviews by now and i’ve always thought the same thing about myself. especially when i was in school, i thought i knew, that there was no way i could handle it, no way anyone would take me on. and they are uncomfortable and nerve wracking, sure. but they’re also not the beginning and end of the world. nobody is expecting you to be the worlds best talker especially when you’re new to the whole thing. it’s about showing your enthusiasm and your skillset, and if you dont believe you have one, you do. you just cant see it because you dont like yourself right now. i’ve been rejected from jobs too, and yeah it’s a dig at the self esteem, but it’s not a personal failure. it’s just the nature of applying for a position that loads of other people are also applying for. you learn to accept it. but you don’t even have to carry that weight yet, love. so try to recognize what your brain is doing by bombarding you with worries that are entirely out of your control, and that there is no actual proof of. more than anything, it’s important to remember that school nor your career defines everything that you are. we’re taught from a young age that we only deserve to be here if we’re ‘useful’ by capitalist standards, if we can justify the space we take up. but it’s a fucking lieeeeee. raising us like that is the only way to get us to work work work without questioning it too much. it’s got nothing to do with you and everything to do with the world being a soul sucking machine. so, relax. you deserve to be here and you deserve to be gentle with yourself, nothing changes that. not tests or the future or your self hatred. i know it’s hard to believe that such concepts apply to you, but they do. nothing and nobody would be better off without you, i promise. when you’re in a dark place it’s only normal to believe that you’ll never be happy, but it’s really not the case in reality. happiness is an emotion that comes and goes like all else, and it is entirely possible for it to become a consistent theme in your life. that is, if you’re able to make it through this part. if you’re able to try to engage in healthier coping mechanisms so that you see your situation from multiple perspectives, rather than just from a one dimensional ‘things will never get better’ stand point. even if you just have to survive hour by hour, until you get there.

i’d really recommend considering talking to someone about what’s happening in your head right now, man. i know that’s not what you want to hear and part of you will want to immediately write it off, but try to pause and keep it in the back of your mind. whether it’s a teacher, a parent/family member, a school counselor, a mental health hotline, a friend, your doctor - there are so many people out there who have the tools to help you learn to manage. and it doesn’t matter if the process is slow or non linear, or if you have to force the words out. all that matters is that you try. whatever that means to you, even if some days it’s just staying in your room and breathing through it. you can recognize that not wanting to be here any more is an unhealthy thought, indicating that there is a lot more going on beneath the surface, yeah? it’s alright to talk about that and to let others in. our mental health is often just as fragile as our physical health and sometimes it needs medical intervention in order to be adequately supported, and that’s totally fine.  yeah, opening up is embarrassing and yeah it’s not something anyone ‘wants’ to do, but it’s often very necessary, because it’ll allows people to be able to relate with and guide you. please consider your own needs and know that there is no shame in speaking up. even if you have to take some time to find the courage. honestly, you don’t even need to go into great detail. a simple ‘i need help and i’m not sure what to do’ is a great place to start with someone you trust, or someone who is in a position to help you. anyway, i’m sorry this got super long. navigating school is fuckin difficult at the best of times, and i’m infinitely proud of you for making it to this point and for being able to articulate your feelings like this to me. i have no doubt that you will be able to get through this if you give yourself the time and the tools do so. and i dont say that lightly at all. try to ground yourself for now, and start again tomorrow. if you want to talk about this properly or if you ever need a friend, my dms/inbox will be open. take care. focus on one day at a time.

A Framework for a Healthier YouTube

-by Andrew Cherry

YouTube, the video-sharing platform owned by Google that we all rely on for one reason or another, is routinely cited as one of the top used websites from around the world. There are few other places you can get daily long form vlogs, makeup demonstrations, cooking tutorials, cat video compilations, and television show breakdowns while being a click away from intense political analysis or video tutorials of open heart surgery. Part of the draw of this goliath website is the ever-expanding quantity and variety of videos available to the consumer for “free.” I use the phrase “free” here because while users don’t have to monetarily pay to access video content, there are major drawbacks to the site that end up negatively impacting both content creators and the general viewing public. My goal here as an active user of YouTube is to provide a set of recommendations that I believe would work to push back against some of the more harmful and toxic effects of the site. I hope not to change the fundamental structure of the site or stifle people’s creativity, but rather, I hope that these changes would make the site safer for everybody and work to ensure healthy discourse both online and in real life.

Re-Design the YouTube Algorithm

One of YouTube’s biggest issues is the way that their video recommendation algorithm suggests viewers to watch more and more extreme videos, in what is being called by some as the Alt-Right Pipeline. While the site has evolved to become much more than just a company in a lot of ways, it still strives to make money, and thus, the algorithm suggests similar but more extreme videos knowing that this gradual escalation will keep people actively engaged and generating more ad revenue. This Vox article does a good job of laying out the issue, whereas people start watching conservative YouTubers like Ben Shapiro who himself has explicitly disavowed the alt-right, but then YouTube’s algorithm continues to direct these viewers to further-right videos and cements their radicalization to the far-right over time. While I do see the irony of linking to a YouTube video here to drive my point home, this video titled “The Alt-Right Playbook: How to Radicalize a Normie” takes a pretty comprehensive, step-by-step approach to demonstrating how this radicalization can happen online.

The Vox article above notes how persuasive these extreme YouTube videos can be and even quotes sociologist Zeynep Tufekci in saying that “given its billion or so users, YouTube may be one of the most powerful radicalizing instruments of the 21st century.” Given the long term and deeply alarming implications of that quote, it’s necessary to unpack why the site wields such influence in the minds of its users. I would argue, in terms of Cialdini’s Six Principles of Persuasion, that authority and social validation are the two strongest feelings associated with YouTube’s persuasiveness. With respect to his concept of authority, I argue that YouTubers like Ben Shapiro, Steven Crowder, and Joe Rogan become expert authority figures in the minds of their frequent viewers, which then makes these viewers more inclined to check out the videos produced by frequent guests on these shows. These guests, however, are often content creators even further to the right than the original hosts, which compounds with the perceived authority of the YouTube algorithm to push people further down the Alt-Right Pipeline even quicker.

Furthermore, I argue that the YouTube ends up plays on people’s lack of social validation to encourage them to stay on the site longer. This principle explains that as you see people around you doing something, you are more likely to also do that thing in order to fit in. In a time when people around my age are often incredibly anxious and feeling isolated from the world at large, it can be more common for people to latch onto social groups where they feel somewhat understood. One such area is alt-right comment sections on YouTube or by following alt-right YouTubers on Twitter. By deriving their social validation from these circles and by delving deeper into that online bubble, people are more likely to follow the examples set by these online agents, regurgitate their toxic talking points, and influence more people to go down that path.

In order to combat this issue, I recommend that YouTube take a serious look at how their algorithm is designed and make changes accordingly. It should no longer be the sole motive of the algorithm to keep people engaged to drive ad revenue. There should be a team of human moderators involved who understand the dangerous nature of online radicalization and work to prevent it from happening. This is not to say that conservative thinkers should be censored online, but rather to say that YouTube has an outsized influence on modern culture and should be aware of the role their site has played in disseminating fascist ideologies as simply free speech from right wing thinkers.

Make Monetization Practices more Transparent

In the past few years, YouTube has faced extensive criticism for the ways in which they control monetization practices on the site. Content creators who make videos and upload them on the site sometimes come to find that their content had been age-gated, hidden, or simply demonetized. This means that for people who rely on YouTube as their primary source of income, demonetization on popular videos means significantly less money coming in and they are often not provided with any explanation from the company as to why a video was demonetized. This article on The Verge highlights the accompanying problem to larger demonetization issues, which are the arguments that YouTube was automatically demonetizing videos from LGBTQ+ creators simply because of their identities. While they deny these claims, YouTube was also accused of showing anti-gay ads before LGBTQ+ videos, further contributing to the belief that the site says they support these lifestyles but then acts rather differently. It is important to note here as well that even if the videos become remonetized after YouTube reviewers check it out, the creators of the video do not get reimbursed for the money lost in that time frame and these types of practices can work to hide this type of information from the marginalized people who may need it.

Thus, I argue that YouTube needs to make their monetization practices more transparent and provide YouTubers with more in-depth responses after demonetization happens which explain why it happened and how to quickly appeal if they feel it was unjust. If they need to hire more reviewers to engage personally with videos and decide more quickly whether they should be monetized or not, then so be it because the site surely has the money to do so. Not only would this help to retain active YouTubers that are starting to feel sidelined, but it would help to bring in more users because as authors Kraut and Resnick explain on page 199 of Building Successful Online Communities, “Providing potential new members with an accurate and complete picture of what the members’ experience will be once they join increases the fit of those who join.”

Increase Child Protections and Age Restrictions

As mentioned previously above, setting 18+ age restrictions on LGBTQ+ content simply because of the creator’s identity is harmful because it prevents young, questioning individuals from viewing potentially validating and reassuring information that they could not get elsewhere. On the other hand, however, there needs to be a larger effort by the site to ensure that the videos that are allowed in the family/kid friendly side of YouTube are actually safe for children to watch. Last year, Wired reported that they found videos “containing violence against child characters, age-inappropriate sexualisation, Paw Patrol characters attempting suicide and Peppa Pig being tricked into eating bacon” that were discovered by following YouTube’s recommended section or just allowing the site’s autoplay function to do its job.

These horrifying videos would be scarring even to an adult, and I cannot imagine the type of long-term psychological damage that it could inflict upon children without their parents even being aware of what is happening. It is imperative then for YouTube to do a better job of ensuring that the content allowed to be viewed by children is safe for their eyes by improving the age restriction settings and increasing human involvement in the scanning of these videos for child protection. This will have to be done carefully, however, because subjecting people to scanning these types of videos all day long would also likely have negative lasting mental health effects. I would recommend ensuring that the workers have proper mental health services to go along with it and allowing for the rotation of workers in and out of this type of moderation position.

I am not naïve enough to think that these are all simple solutions to such complicated and encompassing problems. Alt-right fascists will not simply disappear if we better regulate YouTube content and fix the radicalization aspects of their recommendation algorithm. Certain videos will most likely always get demonetized or age-restricted even when their creators don’t think its necessary. It can be hard to catch every single disturbing video uploaded to the site when there are over 500 hours of content being uploaded to YouTube every minute. But, it is my hope that these recommendations are taken seriously and at the least, start a conversation about how the site can do better, and at most, can be used as a framework for how YouTube can become a better, more healthy site for all parties.

                          White-Knuckling & Self-Compassion

I am a recovering white-knuckler.

I share this with you, because I know I am not alone. There are plenty of us “knucklers” out there that stay with pain, sometimes quite literally, until our knuckles become white. Pushing past our limits, fighting through difficulty, sometimes consciously and sometimes not.

I remember several years ago being in a yoga class, and holding a pose that was both too hard and long for my body. I stayed, gritting my teeth, feeling the pain, until the teacher told us to release. Nevermind that I had to limp to my car that day, or that it took my knee several months to feel “normal” again. For this white-knuckler what mattered is that I stayed in that pose for as long as the teacher was holding me in it; staying with the difficulty, no matter the pain, equalled success. 

Here’s the challenge with white-knuckling: it’s not black and white. Sometimes we may find that white-knuckling leads to developing strengths, discovering insights, and/or making it through the tough times to grow into better relationships with self and others. There are also times when we have no choice but to white-knuckle our way through difficulty. I have watched some of my greatest teachers do this, and find myself in gratitude and awe of their resiliency. 

And then there are times, and goodness do I have plenty of these, when white-knuckling is a choice that is creating unnecessary suffering. I have seriously injured myself physically by ignoring pain in the spirit of becoming stronger. I have fought my way through meditations that ironically, were in the spirit of kindness and compassion. I have stayed in work and romantic relationships too long, not wanting to be the one to admit “defeat” or that things weren’t “ok” by letting go first.

Many of us have grown up being either taught or encouraged to stay with difficulty. But, when given the choice, many of us are out of practice in knowing when it is skillful to let go, to stop, to prevent overwhelm and injury. 

Wise discernment was a concept the Mindful Self-Compassion program taught me that has allowed me to recover from the constant and tiring “fight” of white-knuckling my journey. Because there is no “One Size Fits All” for how to be with difficulty, the best we can do is be aware of our experience (mindfulness) and discern what is the most kind and useful response to alleviate our own suffering (self-compassion). The great news is that this is a trainable skill, which we can more quickly access through time and practice.

For some of us white-knucklers, there is a fear that self-compassion in the face of difficulty will lead us into self-indulgence, or just giving into whatever we want in the moment. But here’s the thing about self-compassion- it never creates more suffering, it alleviates it.

This means that a self-compassionate response to difficulty is not about short-term pleasure, but about what is good for us in the long term. This is probably why research has found self-compassionate people engage in healthier behaviors (Sirois, 2015) like exercise (Magnus, Kowalski & McHugh, 2010), eating well (Schoenefeld & Webb, 2013), and going to the doctor more regularly (Terry et al., 2013). Self-compassion is about what is uniquely good for each of us in the midst of difficulty. For example, for those of us who have a tendency to be a little more wishy-washy in a difficult meditation, learning how to kindly stay may help reduce our suffering in the long-term and be the most self-compassionate thing to do. And for those of us who tend to lose sight of intention or our own well being in the spirit of persistence in a practice (or life situation), learning how and when to let go may be the wisest and most skillful choice. 

For this recovering white-knuckler, it has been deeply relieving to know there is another way to be and learn in the world, and that knowing when to let go is just as valuable and “successful” as knowing when to stay. Mindful Self-Compassion gives us each the capacity to tune into our own inner wisdom by noticing what we are experiencing, and wisely discern how to skillfully care for ourselves in difficulty. Sometimes asking ourselves “What would I tell a dear friend?” or “What do I need?” can help us access this wisdom. In this way, you do not have to wait for a teacher (person or injury!) to tell you to “stay” or “let go” in a difficult practice or life situation- you are that source of permission and wisdom.

Sam, have you ever had the urge to erase your fannish existence (delete the works, hang a sign on the tumblr, pack your bags and move away)? This is where I’m at right now, not for falling out of love with fandom or writing in general, but just because everything—EVERYTHING—is so bleak, and fiction of any sort doesn’t seem like a part-time escape anymore, it feels like avoidance. Is this an impulse you’re at all familiar with? Have you ever wanted to just—undo it?

In fandom, almost everyone I know has wanted to either leave or reboot at one point or other. I know some who did! Or who didn’t want the level of attention they were getting, so they deleted and started over under a new name.  I respect and understand those urges, certainly. I can see why someone wouldn’t want to deal with a certain amount of traffic and the level of negative attention that just statistically comes along with it. And I can see how you might feel the way you feel, too, though I think what you’re vocalizing is different from what I’ve usually encountered in the past. 

So I think there are really two issues to address here and I’m going to get to the more important one first: it’s not that you don’t love fandom or writing but that you feel like fiction has become an avoidance instead of an escape. That’s a delicate but important distinction, because escape, in measured doses, is not only healthy but necessary, especially with reality the way it is. Escape is what allows us to rest and refresh before going back out into the world.  

Avoidance is a mechanism for not doing the things you need to do to maintain a healthy life, be that mental, emotional, or physical health. It might be analogous to the difference between a routine and an addiction. 

But I think also, because it is a delicate distinction, then the question you really need to be asking yourself is, which would be healthier for me -- doing this, or doing something instead of this? Because really, the option isn’t “doing fandom” or “not doing fandom”, not doing something is just an absence. But, say, if you’re doing fandom and not doing your homework (or not doing your job, to an extent it’s imperiled), that’s an avoidance issue. If you’re doing fandom because you need a break from reading the news, that’s not necessarily unhealthy. And only you can really work out whether what you’re doing is healthy for you. What would you be doing with the time and energy you spent on fandom? And would that make you happier or less happy, in a large-scale view? (I have this issue with video games. I love them! But whenever I’m playing them I can’t help but think of all the other stuff I could be doing. No judgement on people who game, there’s no reason they SHOULD BE doing other stuff, I just can’t help that feeling for me. So I don’t game much.) 

So that’s the meat of my answer to your question, and now onto the ego part where I talk about me some more. :D Because while I understand what drives the urge, I haven’t ever wanted that. 

I don’t know why I haven’t, precisely, because I don’t know the exact motivations that drive people who have done it or thought about doing it. I know the general drift because I talk to people about it, but it’s never been an appealing option to me. The negativity I sometimes get is unpleasant, of course, but it’s also a) much rarer than most and b) really, at this point, kind of laughable. I find it hard to take it seriously. And I curate my fandom experience very carefully so that I don’t see a lot of generalized fandom negativity. I don’t have haters in my friends circle and I don’t engage much with metacommentary or critical discussion on fannish things I feel super strongly about, because generally speaking, I don’t have to. 

The urge to pack it all in and start anew is common even outside of fandom, I think, like people fantasize about walking away from their life into a new one, and in fandom that’s legit possible. But I couldn’t -- I know what it’s like to pack in a life and try for a fresh start, and even if you try to leave the baggage behind, it follows you. And in fandom, I have so many good friends I couldn’t abandon, and I would never want to delete my stories. So many people have told me what those stories mean to them, and I know how I used to feel when I’d go to a bookmarked fic and find it gone. And even if I started over and kept a closely-knit group of friends, my style is so particular and specific that I’d be identified fairly quickly, so I’d have to remake that as well, and that would be a loss of self. 

If I felt fandom was unhealthy for me, I would back away, but I would be more interested in putting up boundaries to keep myself in a good space. Leaving entirely would be a last resort, and it would be a process of loss and grieving, the kind of thing that in itself would be difficult to cope with. 

So while I think “undoing it” has its place, for sure, it’s not for me. And I think whether or not deleting or rebooting fixes the problem depends very heavily on what the real problem is. Once you know what’s really making you unhappy, you can generally find the solution with ease, even if the solution itself isn’t easy. 

The Mediterranean Diet: Why It Works and How to Get Started

When you think about going on a diet, you most likely begin to bother with exactly how starving and also bored you're mosting likely to be while adhering to a plan. Yet all the experts are claiming this diet regimen or that program will certainly help you slim down, shed fat, and maintain your heart in superb shape. Exactly what's so fantastic concerning heart-healthy diet plans, anyhow? Do they truly function? It depends on whether you agree to attempt one out. If you're all set for a big yet worthwhile lifestyle change, the Mediterranean Diet plan might be the right option for you.

In 2017, the Mediterranean Diet regimen was placed No. 2 in the United States News and Globe Record's finest diet regimens in general, just behind the DASH diet regimen. Not just is this diet great for your heart, yet it's also verified to be extremely effective for great deals of people. The very best component regarding this diet is that it's not challenging to comply with. There aren't stringent regulations for when and just how much you should consume. No food teams are totally off restrictions. There is no membership charge. You do not need to track your intake if you don't wish to, either.

All you have to do is learn which foods specialists suggest you need to eat the most, as well as which ones you must consume the least. You could then use this knowledge to your daily eating routines. Allow's take a closer check out exactly what the Mediterranean diet plan is all about.

What is the Mediterranean Diet?

People who stay in areas of the world like Italy and also Greece are known for living longer than those who live somewhere else. Those living in these Mediterranean regions likewise tend to get fewer persistent diseases, like heart troubles. That's why many, professionals as well as non-experts alike, case this diet regimen is one of the most effective you could attempt. Have a look at the lots of benefits of this omega-3, fiber, and whole grain-rich method of eating to see for yourself.

Benefits

You'll have a healthier heart. According to the New England Journal of Medicine, those at greater threat of creating heart condition as well as related concerns could profit considerably from the Mediterranean diet. The diet consists of a selection of healthy and balanced fats and carbs, which maintain your heart in its ideal shape possible.

You'll have fewer metabolic troubles. Research has actually recommended those who closely follow this diet plan for a prolonged amount of time are better able to handle problems connected to metabolic rate, including however not restricted to excessive weight, high blood sugar level, and also high blood pressure.

You'll engage in normal physical task. The Mediterranean diet includes normal exercise as an important component. Workout could reduce stress and anxiety, boost your rest high quality, put you in a much better state of mind, and also aid you shed fat as well as develop muscular tissue while you continue to load your body with the foods that keep it healthy.

You won't get bored. This diet regimen highlights adding healthy and balanced ranges of flavors to your food without raising your salt as well as saturated fat intake. There are very couple of entire foods you should not eat on this diet regimen. While you'll need to reduce back on your refined food intake, it's likely after a couple of weeks that you will not also miss it.

This diet plan isn't as difficult to follow as you may believe. Have a look at the guidelines and see for on your own. You could already be eating a variety of the foods suggested - it's just an issue of picking the ideal choices possible in each food group.

Guidelines

The Mediterranean diet does not tell you when to consume or specifically which foods you ought to have on any offered day. Nevertheless, there is a basic collection of standards that are straightforward to comply with. Adapting to a brand-new diet regimen could appear challenging, however if you take these brand-new rules to obey individually as well as integrate them progressively right into your dishes and also treats, you'll find it's not as difficult as you first thought it might be.

Populate your plate with plant-based foods

The advantages of plant-based foods are commonly examined, as well as wonderful indications that you need to eat more plants no matter of which diet regimen you choose to take on next. Plants are devoid of saturated fats and only consist of healthy and balanced, natural sugars that are vital for power and also total health. Plant-based foods also often tend to be high in fiber, which benefits digestion health.

Fruits as well as vegetables are the most essential staples on a Mediterranean dieter's plate. Nonetheless, they typically aren't the only plant-based foods you can eat to draw in the advantages. Beans, chickpeas, entire grains, nuts, as well as seeds are also very healthy and balanced instances of foods that don't originate from animals. You don't need to go completely vegan on this diet, yet most of what you consume - concerning 3 quarters of your plate at each meal - should originate from plants.

Replace the salt shaker with something better

A regular, high salt consumption at some point raises blood stress, which can seriously damage your heart. While you could not think you're spraying that much salt right into that pot of boiling water or into your baked potato, it adds up quicker compared to you realize. Sodium is included to many processed foods to add flavor as well as extend shelf life. If you have actually never taken a close look at a nutrition tag, inspect the food packages in your refrigerator as well as pantry and also consider how much salt is in each one. As a frame of recommendation, experts recommend you take in no more than 2,300 milligrams in a solitary day.

The Mediterranean diet plan doesn't just swoop in as well as say, 'Say goodbye to salt' as well as require you to eat tasteless foods for the rest of your life. Rather, it recommends a much healthier alternative: herbs and spices. Everything from pepper to basil to garlic and thyme could add astonishing flavors to your dishes without elevating your blood stress to unreasonable heights.

Replace the main resources of fat in your diet

Sometimes, we toss a great deal of shame at individuals who prefer to eat bread. While it's real that white breads and various other polished products are drastically deprived of beneficial nutrients, whole grain items - as long as they aren't greatly processed - are actually helpful for you. Often, it's just what we spread onto these breads - or things we opt to dip them in - that pose greater health and wellness risks. When it pertains to bread, you should currently know the major offender: butter, and its not so healthy partner in crime, margarine.

Welcome to day seven!

And it is a Monday, which means it is weigh in day! So… I’m at 270.8.

Well, I’m still losing, so this is good!

As I said last week, we’re bumping up to a 20 minute workout, with 2 minutes of warm up and cool down, so we’re adding about 10 minutes total. Now a 25 minute workout might have seemed insane before we started this, but coming up from 15, it doesn’t seem that bad. That’s only an extra 10 minutes in your day!

Our warm up is just a slow version of our workout, which for now is a slow pedaling. And our cool down will be the same.

So today’s topic is a bit of a grab bag. I’m going to cover a couple of smaller topics that I want to get into before we get too far into this process.

Weigh Ins

So the first thing is weighing in. As you might have noticed, I am weighing in every Monday. And, though you don’t see it, I am NOT actually weighing myself on the other days. Now I have gone back and forth on this, and I have had different schedules.

And “how often you should weigh yourself” is a pretty divisive topic, it seems. I know some people who swear by weighing every single day, and some who weigh themselves multiple times a day, and some who go with weekly or monthly.

I’ve done the “every day” thing myself, and also the “I don’t want to look at it this month” thing. What mostly works for me is weekly.

So I wanted to know if there was a “right” answer. And whaddaya know, this might be why regular Roly Poly people disagree, because the experts can’t agree!

Even when they agree on the results, they disagree on whether or not that is a good thing!

For example, on the subject of weighing yourself daily:

On bodybuilding.com, registered dietitian Paul Salter, said this: “Your weight on any particular day can be impacted by numerous variables, including the previous day's food, fluid, and sodium intake, and even your stress and sleep habits. The swing, both up and down, can be larger than you expect, too. One day you're down. Hooray! The next, you're up—then up again. Yikes! If you're the type of person who feels like you're personally on trial every time you step on the scale, this can be exhausting.”

Jillian Michaels confirms this on her site: “Your weight varies throughout the day. Not only does your weight change every day, it also changes at different times through a single day, so there is no point to weighing yourself every day — and definitely not multiple times a day. This is because of body fluid fluctuations –— you might be retaining water from too much sodium consumption, or you may not have gone to the bathroom yet (gross, but true). All of these things affect your weight. The issue with checking the scale DAILY, is that minor fluctuations can freak people out — or discourage them from their weight-loss efforts.”

But Psychology Today has a different take on that same daily stress: “daily weighing can be a useful strategy to lose weight and prevent regain after weight loss. Seeing a small loss may be rewarding. On the other hand, if there’s been a gain over yesterday’s weight, it’s a reminder that an increased focus on today’s intake is needed.”

Of course, they go on to point out that people who have an eating disorder, like anorexia or bulimia shouldn’t be that focused on their weight.

Bodybuilding.com’s dietitian expands on that idea: “Can daily weigh-ins be done wrong? Definitely. Plenty of people have seen their weight go up a pound and, say, not eaten on that day or made a similarly drastic choice. But with the right mindset, the daily ritual can be a very helpful tool. Just remember that the number itself doesn't matter. Seriously—go buy a scale that's off by 30 pounds, if it helps you to just watch the trends.”

He also cites a study where “Researchers looked to see if there was a link between how often people weighed themselves and their weight-loss results over a long period. They found that those who weighed in daily (versus a group with 1-6 days between weigh-ins, 7-29 days, or 30-plus days) lost significantly more total weight. Those with longer intervals between weigh-ins had a much slower rate of loss and lost less total weight.”

Prevention sums up both the pros and cons pretty clearly: “"Weighing yourself every day, or close to it, is a way to hold yourself accountable," says Mia Syn, MS, RD, a registered dietitian nutritionist in Charleston, South Carolina. "It's factual information that may subconsciously influence your eating habits during the day and prompt you to make healthier choices if you notice you're getting off track with your goals." Of course, there are caveats. If weighing yourself presents some sort of unhealthy trigger—say, you have a history of eating disorders, or seeing your weight prompts feelings of anxiety or depression—step away from the scale, adds Syn. "A better option may be to weigh yourself weekly and look at the long-term trends,"”

The bottom line about daily weigh ins seems to say that it depends on your mental health and your reactions to it. If you can use a daily weigh in to prompt motivation or track trends, then it is a good thing. If you use a daily weigh in to punish yourself for the slightest hormone or water fluctuation, then that’s not great.

And we run into the same problems with weekly weigh ins.

Jillian Michaels advocates for weekly weigh ins, saying “Weighing yourself just once a week will give you a more accurate read — you’ll allow time for the scale to actually show weight loss. The number on the scale will help you figure out if you need to make adjustments to what you’re eating or how you’re exercising.”

Medicine Net doctor Melissa Conrad Stoppler adds that “daily weighing can lead to discouragement and potential diet sabotage if you see a higher number on the scale than you saw the day before. Most diet experts believe that a once-weekly or even monthly weigh-in is a more accurate reflection of weight control progress.”

That said, there are ways to do weekly weigh ins “wrong”. Dietitian Satler says “A study out of Psychological Reports found that weekly weigh-ins, the preferred method of choice for many popular group weight-loss meetings, motivated many people to "beat the scale" by engaging in unhealthy weight-control practices in an effort not to look bad or feel embarrassed. Of course, "beat last week's weigh-in no matter what it takes" isn't an ideal way to make a lasting, healthy lifestyle change. Additionally, having large spaces between weigh-ins may leave weight gain unnoticed, making a single weigh-in feel like a serious punch in the gut.”

So what do we do? Well, it seems that the answer is, “what works best for you,” and that is a complicated process involving several factors, including your mental state.

If you’re the kind of person who can weigh yourself daily and use that to track long term trends, or motivate yourself, then great! Do it daily! If you’re the kind of person who would feel like the scale is ruling your life and even the slightest increase is a cause to fast or whatever, then daily weigh ins might do you more harm than good.

Conversely, if you’re the kind of person who can weigh yourself weekly and see those trends, and feel like you aren’t stressed, then go for weekly weigh ins. But if you’re the kind of person who fixates on that “weigh in day” and purges or restricts before, or follows other unhealthy habits on that weekly schedule, then that’s not great either.

Whichever schedule you keep, you should just do it in a healthy way.

Now one of the reasons I wanted to look into this, is because Roly Mama and I have this disagreement. I’m the kind of person who stresses about daily weigh ins, and much prefers weekly ones. And I don’t purge or over workout the day before. Roly Mama, on the other hand, weighs herself every morning, which always felt obsessive to me, but it motivates her. And I wanted to know which of us was wrong.

Turns out, neither of us was wrong! We are just wired differently, and are doing our different styles in our own different, healthy, ways.

And overall, most of the experts I’ve cited today also note that the scale isn’t the most important part.

Prevention’s dietitian Mia Syn says, “You might also pay closer attention to the fit of your clothes rather than the number on the scale as a gauge of your weight and shape fluctuations."

They also cite dietitian Angela Onsgard, who notes “that if your weight-loss plan includes a muscle-building component, it's important to not put too much emphasis on the number you're seeing on the scale. [...] Simply looking at your weight doesn't show you that you may have gained 5 pounds of muscle and lost 3% body fat."

Bodybuilding.com’s dietitian Satler agrees. “The thing about weight is that it's really just one piece of the progress puzzle; it's not the piece. Exercise performance, appearance, measurements, energy level, body-fat percentage—all of these things indicate important changes, but you can't measure them as readily as weight. [...] If weight loss is your goal, then sure, weigh yourself. Two or three times per week should be sufficient to give the benefits of the daily weigh-in without the stress of the weekly one. But know this: Sometimes the scale won't budge for days or even weeks, even though important changes are happening in the realms of body composition and athletic performance.”

Medicinenet’s doctor agrees: “Cues other than the numbers on the scale are equally important. How do you feel? Are your clothes getting looser or tighter? Do you feel stronger, healthier, leaner? Your own perceptions can be the most valuable tools to help you track your weight control progress.”

So the bottom line appears to be: don’t *never* weigh yourself, but pick a timing that fits your situation. The one that stresses you the *least* And keep in mind that the scale isn’t the only metric you should look at.

So, with that in mind, I’ll stop bugging Roly Mama about how often she weighs herself.

Interval Timer

So, topic two! My lovely little timer app!

There are a number of timer apps, and many of them have specific reasons, but “Interval Timer” is a generic one that’s kind of do it yourself. It has options for a simple set of intervals, or a complex one.

It lets you create a warm up and a cool down, and also lets you create intervals in the workout itself. You can use these to switch from high to low intensity, and I also use them to remind me to drink water. You set a interval and then you say how many reps of that you want to do.

If you are creating a complex routine, you can set different types of intervals with their own timing and reps and cycle through them. There’s a lot of flexibility!

You can pick different sound effects for each change, and you can color code the intervals, so you just need to glance at your phone to know what you should be doing!

It is also compatible with listening to music, and includes those controls at the bottom, so you can pause or skip through your workout playlist.

Also, there’s a pause and stop button for the timer itself, so if you need to pause for some reason, you can. When you finish, it asks if you want to log that routine, and you can, so you can keep track of how often you worked out with it.

And you can name and color code the routines, so if you have different things you are doing, like a short walk, a jog, and a peddler routine, you can save each of them!

So Interval Timer is a handy, free, little app that is super intuitive to use, but also great to help you keep your workouts on task. So check it out!

Road ID

And another quick app. If you are doing any kind of outside workout, like Roly Mama and I do with our No Zero Day May walks, you should check out the app, Road ID.

You can use it to track your timing and route, but more importantly, it is a safety feature. I used to use this when I lived further away, and Roly Mama got worried that I was going on walks at night after work.

You can pick an emergency contact, and it alerts them when you start and stop your routine. If you use the ecrumb option, they can also follow you on a map.

You can set your lock screen so that if something happens to you, it displays your profile and information to call your emergency contact. You can also set it with a stationary alert. With this, if you stop moving for 5 minutes, it will start a one minute countdown, with this loud beep. That’s your clue to get moving again or to cancel it. And if you don’t, because you can’t for whatever reason, it will alert your emergency contact that you’re in trouble.

There are a few other settings you can customize, and you can tweak the stationary one. But the great thing is that, if you’re walking or running or biking or otherwise outside of your home or gym, you can make sure that someone else is aware of where you are and what you’re doing. And if you get hurt or in some kind of trouble, you can get help.

So that’s a fantastic little app I want to make sure you know about.

You should also check out their website, for other ID and safety things. Very cool.

And with that, we are done for today!

Take care of yourself! And please join me next time!

13 Goals of a Witch: Goals #10 and #11

Goal #10: Breathe and Eat Correctly

If there is one goal that many MANY of us struggle with, it would be this one. On nearly a constant basis, we’re fed loads of information about what is good for you, bad for you, and there is an endless supply of different diets and such that promise to help you lose weight and....

It’s exhausting.

Listen: Here is the absolute truth. It is 100% ok to have a little pudge on you. In early times (middle ages mostly, if I recall my history correctly) rich people often had a little bit more weight to them because they showed the world that they were eating well. 

That being said, let me share a few things that have helped me to feel better about what I have been eating:

1) More fruits and veggies! The more natural your diet is, the better you will feel and the closer to the divine you will be. For me, I have a strictly vegetarian diet because I feel that is how I can better allow the energy in my body to flow, and how I can best honor the divine. Some people don’t need that, and that’s ok! Best recommended health tip I can offer to none vegetarians/vegans- make about 80% of your diet fruits and veggies. Also remember: Raw is better than cooked in most cases. 

2) Make it colorful! Along with consuming more fruits and veggies, having a lot of color on your plate can help you feel healthier and more in tune with nature/the divine/your magick. Different colors in different fruits and veggies provide different nutritional values. Like this:

Red - lycopene found in tomatoes, watermelon, & pink grapefruit Orange - beta carotene found in carrots, mangoes, & cantaloupe Yellow - beta cryptothanxin found in pineapple, oranges, & peaches Green - indoles found in broccoli, cabbage, & kale Purple - anthocyanins found in blueberries, grapes, eggplant & cherries White – allicin found in garlic, onions, & chives

Consuming a variety of colorful fruits and veggies is also a great source of antioxidants!

3) Drink LOTS of water! But obviously not too much. Most people actually have a certain amount of water that they need specific to your body. Why? Because different body types have different amounts of blood running through their veins! Drinking water is like the body’s lube. Car can’t run without engine oil, right? Well, your body can’t run and, more specifically, carry all of those nutrients throughout your body if it doesn’t have water! Pro-tip: If you’re not a fan of the flavor of water, which can be kind of bland, use water-flavoring drops like Mio or Dasani Drops or Crystal Light Liquid. They’re all 0 calorie so feel free to be liberal with the amount of “drops” you put in. Lol

Honestly, I could go on and on about this subject. Really, eating healthier is a matter of doing your research and trying different things. Eventually you’ll find what works for you! Eating that is calibrated to your body will help you feel better, help the energy your body uses on a daily basis flow better, and will put you more in touch with your magick. 

For your convenience, I created a Dropbox folder with my diet plan in it. The diet comes from the University of Michigan, who did a wonderful job with their information! I can’t seem to find the info on their page anymore though...

Goal #11: Exercise the Body!

Everyone knows how important it is to exercise. Being active is an important factor in our health! The healthier the body, the better our energies flow and the more access we have to our magick. 

But, if you’re like me, you struggle to feel motivated to exercise on a daily basis. Here is one thing that is important to remember: You don’t have to have an entire exercise regime and go to the gym to be active. Here are a few tips:

1) Download Pokemon Go! I know this sounds cheesy as hell, but seriously... when you’re concentrating on catching Pokemon, it is so much easier to go for a walk! It’ll feel more like a pastime than exercise. Brilliant on their part, I think. Plus, you have to walk to hatch your eggs! Haha

2) Take your fur babies on walks! When I was younger, I would walk literally everywhere for hours. Walking for me is one of the most therapeutic forms of exercise. So, grab that leash, plug in some headphones, and go walk for a little while.

3) Subscribe to podcasts! There are literally thousands of podcasts out there on virtually any subject you can think of. It is excellent for entertainment while engaging in any physical activity and, it’s free. Here are some good ones I think my peeps will enjoy.

True Crime Garage: Although not really witchy, I love a good mystery. True Crime garage offers a weekly show that is sometimes multiple parts long and offers amazing amounts of detail and conversation to the show. Highly recommend for any of you true crime lovers!

Lore: I love this podcast so much! Lore talks about myths and legends from around the world and delves into those stories. The author and host Aaron Mahnke does an excellent job telling the stories and, with help from his research assistants, creates compelling and fact-based stories that are just absolutely riveting!

The Jenna & Julien Podcast: If you’re like me, who is a huge fan or Jenna Mourey (aka Jenna Marbles) and her funny YouTube videos, then you’ll love the podcast. It’s basically her and her long time boyfriend Julien Solomita just shooting the shit. Sometimes they play entertaining games, talk about sports, TV shows, or (little known fact) conspiracy theories! I’m a sucker for a good conspiracy theory. 

Those three are like the staples of my podcast listening experience. But, like I said, there are THOUSANDS of podcasts out there! Also, in the future (hopefully soonish future) I will also be releasing a Podcast! 

If you’re not sure where to get access to Podcasts, here is a short list of apps:

Stitcher

Spreaker

The native Podcasts App on iPhone

Google Podcasts on Android

SIDENOTE: Maybe I’ll try and do a little research to find Witchy Podcasts for you folks and do a post about that soon. 

Of course, there are lots of ways to keep yourself motivated to get out and be active! Go for a nature walk! Go swimming, play night games, pick up yoga- whatever! Just try your best to do something active everyday for at least 30 minutes a day. And please PLEASE remember that you do not have to run or lift weights or do anything that is normally considered “exercise” to be active. And, as witches, it’d best to do your activity outside in the fresh air!

Trust me, being active will literally invigorate you! Your goal doesn’t have to be “lose weight” or “gain muscle” is that’s not your thing. The purpose of the exercise in this instance is for better health, better flow of energy in the body, and better connection to your magick and therefore the divine. Another benefit of eating right and being active is that it will help to ground and center you as well as help to relieve anxiety and depression!

Sorry this one was long! Hopefully it was informative and motivating! Now, find your center and eat your fruits and veggies Mi Maripositas!

And remember, go check out my online store to show support for the blog!

When You’re The Narcissist

I'm a narcissist, however I'm also in therapy unlearning my narcissistic behaviors and substituting with cognitive behavioral therapy to learn about empathy and self regulation. My narcissism manifested as a result of my sexually abusive childhood. I was taught my body meant pleasure and my ego was stroked in ways meant for adults to the point where I felt highly about myself and talked about myself and my accomplishments almost instantly without being prompted in everyday conversations. Seeing it now and catching myself when I suddenly start in about me, myself, and I is bittersweet. I realize it's true I'm a narcissist, but I also smile and think, but I'm slowly catching it and stopping it as a pattern of behavior. I understand my issue and I'm really trying to put my daughter and husband first instead of myself. I don't know if I'll ever not be a narcissist, but with therapy and memory recovery I can probably see better days where I won't feel like I need my accomplishments to define me.

It really is a difficult thing to come to terms with. Realizing my father wasn't sharing a "special bond" with me and coming to terms with it being more about his own "sexual gratification" utterly shattered me. I spiraled, I lied endlessly, slept with random people for money or drugs, I had a "I Me Mine" attitude, I had high anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, and suicidal tendencies up to age 26. I got off the drugs when my fiance` warned me he’d leave me if I didn’t. I couldn’t imagine my world without him so I quit the cocaine, the ecstasy, the Vicodin, and the drinking. Luckily I had only been dabbling with it and kicking the habit wasn’t nearly as hard as it would have been had I been engaging in it for longer than a few months. To those that have had addictions for years, I absolutely do not understand the struggle of getting unhooked in that way and I give you my empathy and compassion. I only did the stuff for a few months, but I remember getting angry I couldn’t find any drugs or angry that I couldn’t have any drugs or angry that my family wanted to interact with me sober and just wanted to find my way back to it, but I had the mental resolve to not allow myself to go crawling back. I deleted every contact number I had with a connection to it and left all the hang outs I used to be at. It was difficult, but not years of addiction kicking the habit difficult. If you’re currently struggling with addiction, my heart absolutely goes out to you and I hope you are finding the help you need. In 2013 I moved to a new state. In 2014 I started studying for my GED, but I had a nervous breakdown and stopped going to school. In 2015 I earned my GED. In 2016 my parents came to visit. I had another nervous breakdown, lost my job, lost my friends, and almost lost my husband and daughter because I was pushing EVERYONE away. I realized I really needed help getting my life stabilized because something was making me turbulent. I reached out to crisis centers for sexual trauma survivors and found a therapist. She and I have been seeing each other for almost a year. Now I'm almost 35 and have been in therapy since October 2017. I stopped speaking to my parents around the same time and told them they were no longer welcome in my life. They cause me to breakdown and fall apart because the mixed feelings of love and dysfunction are too much to handle. Things are getting easier, but I still sometimes show up with my "I Me Mine attitude" and have to check myself several times a day to be less in myself and more present in the world around me in a helpful positive healthier way. It's seriously taking so much effort, I have days where I think about going back to my old self, it was easier, it was familiar, this new me is unfamiliar and a bit too wholesome to encounter compared to who I used to be which makes me feel like I'm losing myself, but the therapist said, "You're losing the self that WASN'T you. The image you kept up for your defense mechanisms were self destructive and need to leave now and you're uncomfortable with what that might bring. Don't be. This is the part where a beautiful transformation happens and you're almost there!"

Forgive yourself for the things you didn’t know when you were young, learn from your behaviors, and work to do better. I am. It’s not easy, but it feels like progress and that resonates as positive growth.