#but like. yeah :)
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fic concept I was thinking about and plotting on and off since like mid 2023 just fully falling apart in my hands bc i got too excited when i thought of the conceit and did not wonder about plausibility and turns out it really wasn't plausible.
#so now i will just sit and cry about it i guess. i mean it's whatever.#I haven't exactly been able to write these days anyway so it's not like it would've gottwn written#but like. YEAH#anyway#ANYWAYYYY
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Something something falling first vs falling harder and Tinn pining for so long but still asking Gun to look into his eyes, to make sure Gun is the reason his heart is beating so quickly, and Gun being the first to say I love you and Tinn saying it back without hesitation
#distant screaming screams into the void#msp#my school president#tinngun#geminifourth#they are taking over my brain your honor#and this is mostly incoherent#but like. yeah
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"i could make that" okay then!!! tell me your thought process. why would you use those colors? why those strokes? what are you hoping to achieve by making this? what story are you telling? oh my bad i forgot. abstract art is lazy and uninspired.
#gale doesn’t stop talking#not at anyone in particular#but like. yeah#people are all like “i could make that” until you start asking them how with specifics#and then they get pissy because it's not Supposed To Be Deep
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Looking at Garten of BanBan II… I actually feel kind of optimistic.
This second game feels like it does have more effort put into it- and it’s more genuine, less of a cash grab especially without the merch link right there. I’m not gonna blame the devs for charging money bc it seems they are very low budget, and I’d prefer a game costing money rather than asking you to buy overpriced merch.
There’s a somewhat scarier atmosphere and I think the direction the story is heading could prove to be interesting.
Spoiler alert:
Saw the human experimentation thing coming from a mile away. Not the most original in the mascot-based horror niche, but I’m a sucker for it and am actually kinda interested in seeing why it’s happening in this facility posing as a kindergarten, of all places. Also, BanBan as a possible good guy is very interesting. Yes, Alice and Mommy Long Legs both send you on fetch quests with ulterior motives, but BanBan seems to genuinely care about saving the kids, even if it means he’s not heroic enough to do it himself.
It’s also interesting that he’s apparently not the “major” threat- that’s Stinger Flynn, apparently. Unless BanBan is lying/tricking the MC, which is like a 50/50 chance.
The game also, surprisingly, has a sense of humor. BanBan’s note telling you he’s gonna knock you out, his sheepish apology, NabNab’s misery, and Seline (the snail) reaching the chase scene too late all actually got a chuckle out of me.
However, it’s not exactly the most riveting gameplay. The game still seems kinda slow, glitchy, and like there isn’t as much of an “active” threat. Everything is very … compartmentalized? Until the last chase scene there doesn’t seem to be an active threat chasing you down.
And the story does have some pitfalls and confusing bits. It’s frustrating to me that they are dropping gradual hints in the notes alone- at this point I wish there was more of a why and maybe even more of an admission. BanBan sees himself as human still, yes, but certainly he’s aware everyone else thinks he’s BanBan? And that he’s in a lab? But he never says “yeah they mighta turned me into something I’m not, but deep down I’m human and you can trust me”
And while I like the idea of Stinger Flynn as a major threat I’m surprised NabNab isn’t more of an opposing force. Like they’re literally an obstacle for like the construction section and they peer out as a lil secret when you finish the chase scene and turn back. For someone teased as a big thing, they seem more like a needless red herring and underwhelming extra. It’d be better if they were more present in this chapter.
The … attempt at social commentary in the classroom segment was also just weird? There’s not really a popular kid weird kid bullying hierarchy in kindergarten of all places… and the metaphor is just very bland and fake deep and whatnot. Unless it’s just BanBaleena running the school like she thinks they’re run bc she’s a human experiment with no memory/knowledge of the outside world. Or some sort of commentary on the game community? Eh, it was just weirdly cynical and I didn’t dig it.
And it’s weird that they’re already advertising game 3. It’s a chapter system and it’s bound to happen, but it makes me think they’re rushing it a little.
So it’s not perfect by any means. There’s a couple of glaring issues of disorganization and rougher edges, hell some of the worries concerning it being too “kiddy” still ring true. But it also seems to confirm the game is growing into its own unique self and is a genuine attempt at making a decent game rather than something thrown together to make some money off of children. There’s some heart. It may be small or weak, but it’s there.
I never thought I’d be rooting for the Euphoric Brothers, but I do actually hope they improve from here and actually make something some people can dig. They’re not really some insidious force like people make them out to be, just two people trying in a… pretty flawed way? They gotta work on a lot of stuff, from the game to how they have taken criticism, but they’re not goddawful, the first game was just the worst first impression ever.
And…If anything BanBan’s popularity is inspiring. It’s a good reminder that anyone can make a game- and possibly succeed in getting what they wish.
Tldr: not winning any awards any time soon, but Garten of BanBan is not a total waste. I hope the Devs listen to the criticism they’ve gotten and improve from here, too.
And I. Do like NabNab and Stinger Flynn. And BanBan. I am not immune to silly blob thing.
#garten of banban#garten of BanBan II#only watched play throughs bc I don’t have money or a good computer#but like. yeah#.txt#mascot horror#I have a soft spot for these sorts of things#esp as an artist with a shitty budget and concerns abt the quality of what I make
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the difficult thing about practicing harm reduction is that some behaviours feel so impulsive that it’s really hard to slow myself down and go, “are my tools clean? am I avoiding harm to particularly vulnerable parts of my body? am I checking in with my body?”. ideally, yeah, I would have a list of mechanisms that would help me to slow down and keep myself safe. but sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way. impulsivity really is the killer
#I’m okay btw#I’m just focusing on the aftercare stuff#but like. yeah#idk how to solve this particular part of it#I guess. more time and practice
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Thinking about that one scene in book 6 where Idia is talking about the Shroud fam curse. And while, yeah, it’s mainly meant to be exposition for us, the player, but, he’s talking to ORTHO about it. His BROTHER. Who most likely already knows about the curse. So it just kinda gives off the vibes (at least to me) that Idia will just randomly start talking about his curse. In like, full detail. And Ortho’s just learned by now to just smile and nod and to lightly engage to show he’s listening until Idia’s fine again, like,
Idia: you know that technically I can never leave this island, right?
Ortho, internally: oh no, here we go again
Ortho: no, actually. Please, go on.
Idia: so, it all started back when…
Ortho:
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst book 6#book 6 spoilers#book 6 twst#book 6#episode 6#twst episode 6#my art#twst ortho#twst idia#I feel like I draw ortho a lot#I mean he’s one of my favs so it makes sense#but like. yeah#you can’t see it due to the simple art style here but Ortho does not have any light I. his eyes in this drawing#in*#I don’t feel like typing that out again
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in my mind the belchers are technically an interfaith household however they dont really practice because they realized tina would not be able to function with catholic guilt and louise would be too dangerous with jewish debate skills
#original#bob’s burgers#i dont think bob and linda were super religious regardless. so really it wouldve been like this no matter what#but like. yeah#meanwhile gene would thrive. the price they have to pay#this might not make any sense i hope someone gets the vibes
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if i have to block another mutual for apparently holding a vehement hatred for Blorbo From My Shows im going to make an actual fucking dni like a toe-sucking isopod
#charlie rambles#jonathan byers haters dni /j#but like. yeah#yeah he sucks that’s his THING#get a personality
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I love. Not feeling welcome in the server I literally own :(
#sarcasm btw#not only is it hard to balance being a mod and being a friend#but like. yeah#ty to citrus for being the only person there I feel comfortable around…#vent#ish
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Fuck it maybe I will multiclass Kora into a class that objectively sucks!! We're a heist team it's not like we do much combat anyways maybe I'll just do it for the Flavor of it All, you know, to be a Silly Little Guy.
#the obvious answer for a heist team is to multiclass into Rogue but we've already got a Rogue and also I've played Rogues many times before#i Do Not Want to play a Rogue again yet#(someday i really want to play a Barbarian but that's DEFINITELY not Kora's style lmao)#so i was thinking. the Ranger gives specific flavor for living in the Underdark#but also so does the Land Druid and the Land Druid is basically better in every way. but Kora Wouldn't Be A Druid y'know???#like. he would have No use for wildshape and he is not very nature-oriented (he's like Very specifically interested in history)#also Rangers are sneaky and that's the whole reason i wanted to multiclass him at all was to establish him as getting sneaker#but man. man i love rangers so much they're one of my favorite classes but like. there are other class alternatives that are just Better#I'll probably do it just for flavor because i wasn't gonna get much bonus from my next Bard level anyways so it'd be about the same worth#but like. yeah#KoraKyrath
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i do really miss writing immortal fears tho
#theres just. a lot of things that mentally prevent me from going back to it right now#which i know is okay. its a three arc long ass multiparter its okay if it takes time and whatever#but like. yeah#i have a stupid mental block about continuing it. i dont want to throw it out cause i love the story and everything i have planned for it#but its just. hard. and then i see the extremely low numbers on the single bits i post within the au and its like. oh. :')#i dont know. i know i love this and i wanna do it but the hurdles feel so big and it sucks cause its been like a year since i started it#and its only five chapters in. and it just sucks cause i want to work on it and finish it and hope people like it as much as i do#which i know they wont cause again its niche and my work so like...#mental hurdles#i just wish i could be happy with this stuff. i mean i am. but also im not. i dont know#im not in a really good headspace today again and its bleeding over and everything sucks :')#night is an absolute mess on main
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#i love so many posts on this account but i also am feeling the need to commut digital suicide these days bc jm jusg having a bad time lol#also o just like. don't have thoughts anymore which is depressing bc i have nothing to say/post and i feel stupid#so im like. moving my posts to a secret location to look at. and if i feel terrible sad i can delete this acc and be okay w it#bc the posts will be saved#it's gonna take so lokg bc i uaed to post so much lmaoooo#but like. yeah#anyway dw about me overall i am not doing bad it's just weird life is just hard vibes#im on discord tho!
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who cares if other teenagers don't find you cool when little kids all wave excitedly and ask to touch your hair
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cTubbo is like that one quote about the lady who didn't know what sex was when she was young so anytime she had a crush, she fantasied about eating the person by pulling them into her body
#i can't remember what her name is#i thin she's a musc person#but like. yeah#that's how his expression of love is#that's his love languague minus the sex. because asexual
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ppl keep talking abt s4 and tomgreg not interacting much and it’s reminding me soooo much of ted lasso and the fact that tedbecca has barely interacted in s3 at least the second half and they have a. i mean not the same dynamic obviously but one is sort of. mentor. ish. and the other is a bit of a lackadaisical fella in their wake. and i think it’s pretty set that tedbecca is endgame so it’s like. it’s just kind of interesting and doesn’t really put me off/make me worried so much in the fact that ppl think tomgreg might like. be dropped. but i’m not unaware of the advertising and the pushing for tomgreg and interviews w m and n beforehand so it’s definitely sus. tho there were some scenes in the trailer and hints of tedbecca that was either removed or not shown in the end. so you know. many thoughts
#i mean i don’t think they’re gonna rawdog it on screen but you know#i am just starting s3 so i might be a dumbass but still. it really reminded me of my twitter hangout#ppl are losing their minds over tedbecca and thinking it won’t happen n getting scared or worried abt their lack of interactions#but like. yeah#i’m too scared to tag this tomgreg LMAOOOO at least not yet bc i Fear reprisal#but stilllll#txt
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saying that having executive dysfunction is different from physically not being able to do something is not downplaying the difficulties of executive dysfunction. it’s just saying the truth; the issues are different
executive dysfunction can be hard to manage. it can prevent you from being able to hold down a job or engage with your hobbies or maintain relationships. but when it comes down to it, someone with executive dysfunction will be able to do the things once they find the right coping mechanisms for them (which can be a difficult challenge in and of itself, I don’t deny that)
but someone who physically can’t do something just can’t do it, and the accommodations they’re going to need will be different. often it’s a physical accessibility issue or a support issue. those aren’t things that someone can just solve for themselves. I can’t bring an elevator with me if a place only has stairs. my friends with support workers can’t use timers on their phones to remind them to eat if nobody’s there to help them physically eat
they’re just different physical realities. executive dysfunction is difficult, but it’s not the same as a complete and constant inability to do a task
#I didn’t use the evacuating from a building example because I read a news story a couple years ago#of a woman so deep in hyperfocus that she almost died during a fire#but like. yeah#disability
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